the brilliance of casting Dylan O'Brian, one of the most adorkable actors of the decade, to play this creepy gaslighting 30 yo dude to confront the "but he's such a nice guy" bias we sometimes have for famous charismatic ppl like Jake! * chef's kiss * 👌
Not a Swiftie, but I admire Taylor of how brave she is. She's becoming more outspoken as years go by. That's a good role model for young people out there
@@ElizabethNicoleSchwartz it does matter, cause fans are known to always be at least a little bit biased towards their faves. Someone saying “I’m not a fan but” does it to show that anyone, regardless of their opinion on her music, can recognize she’s a good role model. That’s a good thing so I don’t see why you guys are getting upset at that.
@@user-pk1ix1lb3y why does it matter what people say about themselves? I just felt like I wanted to say I'm not a Swiftie but I admire what she did. Fans like you *always* make people uncomfortable
fun fact: jake worked with tom holland in spiderman and in interviews he was always calling him "kid" and stuff. tom is the same age as his current girlfriend.
My favourite part is how she wrote these lyrics back like 10 years ago, but has that line “your lovers stay my age”, when he’s now 40 dating a 25 year old. Like FOR REAL. Taylor KNEW, she knew all along who he was.
i must really admit taylor was really smart casting sadie and dylan because you could clearly see the age gap between those two. we feel uncomfortable, because we're supposed to be uncomfortable and disgusted about the whole dynamic. it's just so sad to think that back then, instead of questioning these adult men preying on young taylor, SHE was the one who was blamed and hated for it.
About the hand-dropping issue... It's so deliberate! Like, he's feeding her small bits of apology so she would think that, "at least he's acknowledging some of the things he did to me" He's giving her a false hope that he knows he is wrong and that he'll just need more time to fully admit it all
"Fck the patriarchy" So performative But in young Taylor's eyes, he was doing something big. Now that she's older, she's like, dude... that's the bare minimum
You realize that half the country actively supports an authoritarian takeover, right? They are actively pushing for an end to abortion rights, voting rights, gay rights, etc. They either don't believe that the patriarchy exists or actively support it. And it's way more than half depending on where in the country that you live.
@@TacticusPrime Yes, I do realise that, because I'm a PoC woman. Are you seriously trying to educate me, the very person who's always affected by the patriarchy? Am I supposed to praise a guy for having a key chain that has words women all over the world have been saying for years? Jake is just being performatie. His words are empty because he does nothing, so take your essay somewhere else
@@TheFlowerbeast Yeah, I don't care who you are. Candace Owens is a woman of color too. Does she deserve a medal? Stop pretending that it's normal or expected to find men willing to publicly denounce the patriarchy. It's not.
I saw a meme about this song about how Jake never thinks of Taylor. And like probably not, but i don't think it's a sick burn to say "this much older man who manipulated and gaslit you doesn't even THINK about you" like yeah abusers (whether purposeful or not) are not as affected by their relationship as the abused
I noticed that, too! So many people try to dismiss how much truth she put into this 10 minute version, saying she still hasn’t moved on and trying to push that crazy ex-girlfriend narrative on her again when in reality, her fans who’ve related to the original version have requested for the 10 minute one for almost a decade now. With reclaiming her work through rerecordings, it’s only smart and sensible to include exclusive tracks so people feel more inclined to support these instead of the old masters.
It's even creepier when you find out Jake started dating his latest girlfriend in 2018... when she was 22 and he was 38. That's a 16 year age gap, y'all. Jake and Taylor's age gap was 9 years. Let that sink in.
I think he realized that he could no longer control someone with even that large of an age gap, so he went for someone even YOUNGER than him to get the control and power he wanted
I KNOW it was on purpose but Sadie and Dylan together gave me goosebumps i was deeply uncomfortable and it’s important we see that age difference and all the power dynamics involved.
All insults to the characters aside, Dylan and Sadie did an awesome job. I could feel the emotions and they really showed us what a toxic relationship can be like. So sorry for yours though, Cindy. It’s sad that there are still terrible people like that out there. You definitely deserve better, but look on the bright side: you are a successful TH-camr, an amazing person with great humour and personality, and where is him, huh? Probably sitting alone in his mom’s basement regretting ever being born.
Being 30 myself right now... I see 19-20 year olds and am honestly flabbergasted at the idea of being romantically interested in them. It's literally SUCH a different place in life!
Dude, I’m 27, and I have a lot of younger coworkers, some of whom are like 18 and bc I tend to be flirty (with people OF AGE, I add) they try to get into that with me and I just CAN’T. These are KIDS. I can’t be doing none of that, it feels so wrong.
and the fact that John Mayor got all upset and defensive when Dear John came out, again blaming Taylor for everything and acting like she was the terrible one for releasing the song 🤢 it’s the men taking absolutely no responsibility and having no self awareness
Red flag: if your partner never remembers the “little things” they do that hurt you and never apologizes, but they remember EVERYTHING you’ve ever done that they didn’t like and won’t let it go??? Honey, run. If you bring up even one little thing that upsets you even slightly and they treat it like a massive overreaction or a huge chore to even talk about, run. If bringing something up suddenly “ruins the night” and they try to say that you’re starting a fight or worse, making them lash out at you, RUN DON’T WALK. Don’t even try to correct them. Just go “I see who you are now and I’m leaving.” Not even worth reading them to filth and giving them ammunition to fuel their internal “wow my ex was crazy” perspective.
Even the language he's using "holding me hostage " over what he says to be a "moment he doesn't remember " 1)he's playing the victim like it's an instrument. "Don't give me that look. That's such bullshit" 2) implying that her getting emotional and feeling hurt is manipulative when it's the other way around. "I'm sorry I drop your hand" 3) playing the good guy while completely missing the point and making it seem like she was being irrational over something small.
Ngl, I wanna commend Cindy for being so open with her past toxic and emotionally abusive relationship. It's honestly gonna help a lot of people (including me) navigate future relationships because of the wisdom she imparted to us. Thanks so much Cindy. Continue being awesome.
The lyrics of the song were orginally written when she first wrote the song. They were ultimately edited out. She mentioned in interviews at the time that the 1st draft of this song was about 10 minutes and for YEARS fans have been asking for it, to hear the verses that got cut. And with the re-records, she decided to include it with the album as a vault track. Just to clarify that it's not current taylor adding verses to an old song!
The fact that she first put out a more forgiving version of this song because she probably anticipated she'd get shamed for what happened makes me so mad and sad. Red was the era where everything went kind of downhill for her in terms of her reputation and the media painting her as a serial dater, and yet nobody questioned what was a 30yo doing dating her. It must be really liberating to be able to tell the whole story now, since she had been guarding these lyrics for 10 years! Also, another fact: she would cry when singing this song live, but she's said that the fans changed this song for her because it's the fandom's favorite and we always sing along to it, and it was nice to reclaim it that way because she's really proud of it. Thank you for being so open and sharing your own experience, I'm glad you're a in better place now, you deserve nothing but the best, Cindy. ❤️❤️❤️
the term "serial dater" really highlights how they didn't really had anything to attack taylor with huh like, it's such a non insult, they couldn't find any real reasons to hate her so they just made that up
@@imnotreallyjess4318 right like she's pretty unproblematic so her "scandals" are basically just toxic men trying to gaslight her and making themselves the victim
what scares me about this short film is that this shit really happened to taylor and NO ONE QUESTIONED a 30 year old man dating a 20 year old? like nobody saw any red flags at all? like hm his guy is a bit suspicious?? nothing??
Oh trust, plenty of people did question it. The thing is, many others were in support of it. That's the scary thing! Another scary thing was seeing people in support of the relationship because it was Jake. I saw many people saying "he's so mature so at least she isn't dating someone like Leo" as if one bad thing is okay because there's a worse option - so gross!
Worst thing about being in a relationship where you've been gaslit: You SOMEHOW still question if you overreacted. I'm still angry about how my ex treated me and how I let him take advantage of the fact I genuinely cared about him. It's been years since I last spoke to him and I still have a panic attack if I see him pop up when he deletes an account I already blocked and makes a new one then shows up in my "people you may know" section. I'm glad you're out of your toxic relationship. I know looking at stuff like this isn't always easy so thank you for being open about this.
It was going well until Cindy mentioned her receiving an “apology” e-mail from her ex 😭 ugh i received the same thing and it was soooo annoying. men really have the audacity to twist the narrative to fit their truths. i’m so glad you’re in a better place now, Cindy!
An amazingly relevant Taylor Swift song about an "apology" letter is the song closure. It's got lines like "don't treat me like a situation that needs to be handled", "I can feel you smoothing me over", and "I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life, staying friends would iron it out so nice".
I'm so glad that the narrative has changed. That we see these relationships and question them. It's so sad that way back then nobody questioned or defended Taylor, and she was crucified for writing about it. I admire her because even though she's young and was being being bullied, she just did what she did best, songwriting. She transformed her pain into something so beautiful that everyone can relate to. I'm really glad that we are talking about huge age gaps in relationships and gaslighting and manipulation. It really is a formative experience if you are less than 25 (your brain is not really mature yet) And thank you for sharing Cindy!!! Stay safe queen!!!
I dont think the narrative has changed that much like people are still going after billlie eilish and olivia rodrigo for being preyed on by the way older men theyre currently datinv (or dated i dont know if they're still together)
There's that great quote from Bojack Horseman--"When you look at someone thru red colored glass, red flags just look like flags." Guys like this date younger because these girls are young enough to still have the blinders on. Irony is that guys like this are there the reason the blinders come off forever after. No more rose colored glass.
Cindy, you don't know me, but as someone who was also in a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship, hearing you talk about your own experiences and how you moved past them; I'm proud of you.
I swear this type of people always remember things differently and the worst thing is when their and even your friends enable the behavior. Suddenly is not just your partner that makes you feel like you're crazy but also the people around you so you end up actually believing you're the problem. I got emotional watching the short film and I got emotional again watching Cindy react to the short film, even after many years you really do remember those relationships all too well.
I truly believe, "You call me up again just to break me like a promise / so casually cruel in the name of being honest," are the best lyrics Taylor Swift has ever written.
i think the reason she repeats 'you remember it.. i remember it' so many times is because she knows what really happened, and despite him trying to gaslight her and claim his own version of events, she knows that he knows the truth. that's what the entire outro was supposed to convey (to me)
Something she didn't include in this music and short film - Jake cheated on her, and told her through the phone (she talks about it in Babe, also from Red). "And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest" represents this moment. In Babe, she talks about how he broke the sweetest promise he shouldn't have made, and called her plenty of times to talk about it. Also, The Moment I Knew talks about the 21 party he missed, and Begin Again and I Bet You Think About Me show more details about their relationship (how he always "laughed at her dreams, rolled his eyes on her jokes", didn't want her to use high heels because she's already tall, and with heels she would be taller than him, how he would always talked down her music and plans...). So much to take from Red about their relationship and Jake, but All Too Well resumes it all too well
That scene of the argument not only was he (Dylan) manipulating her (Sadie) verbally but also when he was just dunking the dirty dishes onto her to clean up as well. Really added to the symbolism of the heavy weight he was pushing on her emotionally..That was some good subtext stuff Taylor did, it made that scene so much more emotional 😭
I'm only 18 and I've never been in a relationship with anyone before. But recently, I had a huge fallout with one of my best friends, and I could really relate to all the pain and sadness Taylor expresses in this song. It's only in hindsight that things seem so bad and you end up feeling so betrayed and drained of life. What you said about looking back on your relationship and realizing that how the person you are today would never be friends with your ex, regardless of the history you both share, felt really comforting to hear; since I've been carrying within me a fear of letting someone else treat me the same way my friend did. I am so proud of how you've grown from your past, Cindy! Thanks for sharing your story.❤
I've had a rough time with a toxic friend and I want to say, hindsight is 2020 but they were in our lives for a season and for a reason. Does it still hurt from what they did, yes, but it will fade over time
OMG!! I had this too! Only now a few years later in realising it wasn’t all my fault but my so called friend actually handled everything wrong (ghosted me) no break up has ever been as painful as losing my BFF. But now that I can reflect I feel stronger. Thank you xx
@@calvinmcdaniel4299 I think the season/reason thing can feel comforting for some people, but for me, it feels like justifying the suffering I experienced at the hands of my abusers. I prefer to frame it as, I wish I’d never had those awful experiences, and I never deserved the things that happened to me, but I have learned what behaviors I will not tolerate and how to identify red flags earlier. I’m not glad that it happened, but I can take those lessons forward with me to be safe now.
Also during their dinner, when he dropped her hand, the wine glass for sadie was untouched. I have heard two theories about it, one is that Taylor (then) wasn’t old enough to drink but he didn’t care or bother about it, or that she liked white wine but he didn’t care about her preference.
@@jennykhenven3058 tbh maybe that is one of their only good ideas. I am not really a fan of how in my country and most europe you become allowed to drink alcohol without supervision of a responsible adult and drive( also on your own), exactly at the same age.
@@nessyness5447 Sorry, but 18 years old is a responsible adult and the longer you allow people to not be accountable for their actions the longer it will take to get to the age of an “adult” . Just wait another 20 years and the legal age would be stretched to 45
@@jennykhenven3058 no is not, 18 year old is a teenager that is just capable to have some legal accountability. Is not even like that in all the world, in some places like for example japan, the age of adulthood remains to be 20. ( And it used to be like that in many more countries not so long ago). In the US people under 21 are not allowed to drink alcohol yet, etc. Just because the law of aome countries decided that 18 should be the cut mark to be able to make legal decisions without your parents consent, doesn't make someone a fully grown and responsible adult.
The age gap seems even bigger because we know Sadie Sink from stranger things where they’re supposed to be children. Yes she’s 19 now but it still makes it seem even ickier
yeah with every season of stranger things, the characters age along with me. so even though ik Sadie is technically older than me, she still feels the same age as me or even younger cause the last time I saw her in the show they were about to be freshman.
and how Dylan was in maze runner which feels so long ago and he’s a grown man now, when he was probably closer in age to Sadie when that was filmed like 8 years ago
someone mentioned that she straightened her hair in front of his friends so she would be more mature which is a really cool detail. i think it would be cool to see cindy react to dear john because it’s very similar and really weird that she dated two guys about a decade older than her and no one questioned it. also its got such good lyricism on par with all too well imo
I know she said that she isn't really a Swiftie and don't have any opinions on her music, but I think Cindy would love the story telling on folklore and evermore
so one time in therapy mi therapist told me that no human being remembers one event the same way, we all remember things differently, even random things like when we say: “hey, where is the keys? have you seen them?” it is a fact that you and how many other people are in the room remember so many different places where the fucking keys could be…so yeah, we all remember different things, maybe the things we remember are similar, but never the same. Thanks for sharing your experience, Cindy!
I had a very similar relationship between ages 20-22 with someone my same age, and I still have post-traumatic stress from that relationship. Four years ago they also sent an apology text with the wording "I'm sorry if I seemed insensitive about blah blah blah" which looking back at has me like, "um no, there was no IF, there was no SEEMED, you WERE insensitive about xyz and I am STILL in therapy because of it!" It's the lack of accountability for me. Thanks for sharing your experience Cindy, it helps knowing that there are others who have gone through the same thing and are willing to share.
Same here.. I am still reeling, and he's like "I might have been a little too straightforward with you". I mean why do you have to lie ? You messed up just admit it
@@inaju I think there's a level of narcissism that accompanies people like that. They're not willing to own the shitty stuff they did because they still don't really think they did anything wrong, but they'll "apologize" anyway. If you can see through that after the break-up that's how you know you made the right decision to leave.
@@JessCsBooks I was like 15 at the time, and I thought I was in the wrong. 3 years later I look back on that and just feel like it was a good thing I escaped with minimal injuries
Just the uncomfy-ness of this movie really proves that Taylor knows what she was doing when making this movie. Anyway how are y'all? I'm waiting for my exam results so I'm not doing TOO great :)
This song has my heart. I still can´t believe we got this original version and the short film. It still feels like a dream. Sorry you had to go through that relationship and that Taylor made you think about it again. Shows how her songs are so relatable.
"Maybe he charmed your dad cause they were so close in age" Cindy, I love you so much. I am dying laughing right now, all the way in South Africa. But to be honest, you are not wrong. They were probably talking about things they both could relate to... Cause he (jake/dylan) was a damn grandpa.
I'd also like to add how grateful I am that people talk about their toxic relationships so that young people now can be more aware of the red flags. thank you for teaching young me who to look out for :)
The video makes me wonder how many young girls are going through the same bs right now with older insecure men. I hope people call out this shit more in the future. Why are men in their late 30s and 40s dating girls in their early 20s. They're old enough to be their fathers.
Probably because of the whole 'older men = mature, stability --- young women = young and innocent, and needs more mature older man for life experience lessons and stability' trope. It has been a forever thing which even sometimes gets pushed by tv shows like Pretty Little Liars etc. The trope 9/10 times benefits men because of the power they hold in such relationships.
I'm so sorry you experienced something similar Cindy, I'm living for you roasting Dylan's character. I watched the film at midnight after doing a bunch of studying so you know my emotionally unstable ass started crying even though I've never experienced anything similar, especially towards the ending. The kitchen scene literally makes me so angry. This film was done so well (or all too well 👀), as a fairly recent swiftie I'm so happy you reacted to this
“He had a f*ck the patriarchy keychain?” The silence after KILLED me 💀 also I never realized just how many young female stars date older men. That’s….someone should do a case study on that cause somethin’ isn’t right 👀
Young actors and actresses and singers are in a unique position because they work and have been working for years mostly in ways a lot of other young people havent. They have money and fame and thay commitment to a job that others have for school. I think they feel grown up because of the work, its not a part time job its a career theyre putting everything into and they tend to get along with older people in their work place. So they feel bety mature for their age and so i think its easy for them to be lile yeah were the dame me yhid much older person cause were both doing lots of the same things in our career. Or they just think they more mature and want someone older who is mature. You know people talk about age gaps and say people at those ages are in such different stages of life. 20 year old just started college and a 30 year old has a morgage. But for singer and actors thwy probably have a morgage even tho their 16-17. They deal with all these other things that make them feel like someone their age donst understand and someone older does.
@@silverkyre I think that’s a good point, and pretty accurate. I just also think that even tho young female stars are “mature” responsibility wise, they still have a lot of personal growth to do outside their career. A 30 year old man already pretty much knows who he is…a 20 year old girl is still figuring stuff out and I think men take advantage of that.
@@landbrieforetime572 yeah i agree. I think there are age gaps that can work. But like you said theyre still so young and figuring out what they are doing. Its why i said they THINK they have to be with someone older. Not that i agree with it. Just that i believe that is part of their way of thinking.
I've seen this with my own parents for my entire life...they're now divorcing because he couldn't take responsibility for some bad mistakes and he just decided he didn't want to deal with us anymore. My mom always apologizes because she's "learned" that it's always been "her fault." Now, she realizes that she has no idea what she really wants from life; she's just done what everyone else has told her to do.
during the pandemic i’ve been in a journey realizing how shit men treated me during my teenage years and how normal i thought it all was. multiple times i tried to speak out about it and my friends would be like “oh well! boys will be boys!” or straight up tell me i was overreacting. when folklore came out i got back into taylor’s music after a few years not paying much attention to it and it empowered me so much. just like me, she’s been humiliated over and over again but it a much larger scale and now she showed me that i had the right and SHOULD be angry. i should be “a bitch” if men disrespect me. i should put my well being first. i should tell people about how that one guy groomed me for three years and that’s why i can’t stand to be in the same room as him. i’m not “less likable” because of this, i’m just defending myself from people who want to take advantage of me. thank you taylor
no because literally i called out my toxic ex friend on the stuff they did to me and they just said they didn’t remember, like at all, like the “i wouldn’t do that” “i didn’t mean to hurt you” type beat…i understand that feeling
When she sings "you remember it all to well" and "we remember it all too well", I think she wants to feel validated. Like, she remembers everything, everything was just so remarkable to her and if he forgot about it, then it wasn't as special as she tought... And that's something really hard to understand and accept, specially when you go through a toxic/abusive relantionship, it had to mean something, otherwise you just suffered for nothing. Also, it's not easy realizing that you still have some issues with all that went through while the other person who caused all this is living life without any aknowledge
This song honestly has forever changed my opinion of JG. I never paid attention to their relationship, BUT the way he responded says e v e r y t h I n g. I hope young women dating older guys or guys like this will learn from this video. To him it was just a fling but to her (partly because of her age) it was literally life-altering. We have all been there.
I love how you called out the other dudes! The other TH-camrs tried to brush it off and/ or hid it behind a blind item when we all know who they all talking about
not to be that person but "closure" from taylor swift depicts exactly what you told in the end about your toxic ex reaching out just to make himself feel better
when this album came out and Taylor could barley get through singing this song without crying but watching the lyric video for the 10 minute version and seeing her smiling while singing is the biggest glow up i'm so happy for her
That's just life. We don't easily see what's wrong with us, but we can easily point it out in third point of view. That's why whenever we look back, it's in 3rd pov. We're not in that moment anymore. That's the reason some genuine adults don't give up on lecturing the young people. We know we can't go back in the past and correct our mistakes. But the least thing we could do is to guide the younger ones, especially if they're teenagers
i’m in my mid 20’s, never gone out with anybody and never been asked out on a date and watching the short movie made me realise how thankful i am that i never got myself to enter a relationship when i was younger and that i was always single because god imagine the load of crap you’d have to deal with if you end up in a situation like #that. as for the age difference i know people who are more than 10 years apart that are doing fine (my parents are 14 years apart and are good i can say so myself) though then again it’s different for everyone. i’m just glad i’m at a stage in life where i’m much older and when i finally start dating people i’ll know what to take note of in terms of how they act, what i’ll tolerate and what i won’t tolerate.
I feel like I just walked in on someone naked. Thank you for being so vulnerable Cindy, I'm so happy you're in a better place and girl bossin on these men. Let this serve as the video recording of the letter he "didn't read" Suck on those, man who hurt Cindy!
I've never dated, but me and my siblings had a really toxic relationship with our mom, and a lot of this stuff carries over. The worst of it are the good memories unrelated to the trauma that are tainted by the overwhelming presence of the bad ones. Like, I saw a documentary with my mom that was ultimately enjoyable (if a little unnerving; it was about the Influenza Epidemic) but the memory sits like a lump in my stomach because I know she was trying to mold me into an acceptable version of myself. I'm still trying to process the relationship, or how much I even want to have, but at least I'm out and I'm getting better. That's the thing to remember: I'm out. I'm getting better. I am not defined by this relationship. Great video! I just subscribed today.
There's nothing inherently wrong with a 10 year age gap. The older you are the less age matters. But, 20 and 30 like you said is likely the older party being with someone younger because someone the same age will not accept their crap.
the problem with a 20 and 30 year old together is that the 20 year old doesn't usually have the experience to tell when to look out for red flags, and older people are seen as more well put-together and could take care of them. which sometimes ends up being a lie
Yeah, this exactly. Like sometimes there is just genuine love there (and in any sort of age gap relationships in general), but it takes a lot to prove that cause it's generally sort of predatory on the older person's part.
@@Rozitaaah yes this, like there can be love there and it's not impossible for a genuinely happy relationship to blossom even with such a start, but that's the exception not the rule. Even people with the best of intentions can hurt you because people in their 20s and people in their 30s are at very different stages of life. One of you just started college and the other probably has a mortgage. It's not always creepy, but it is always suspicious
@@ButterflyScarlet This is something I had to explain to a man who is 21 years older than I am and wanted to get with me this summer. I am just starting my life while he has a full time career, has been married and divorced and has two kids under 15. I am closer in age to his oldest kid then I am too him. He apprently doesnt care about age, but was purposefully trying to get with someone 21 years younger than him.
I've waited so long for a day like this to come, finally, this is the start of your journey as we slowly turn you into a swiftie. There's no way back Cindy, you can't escape. And yeah this short film gives hella flashbacks (personally regarding my father xd) and thank you a lot for opening up about your abusive relationship like that!
The “All too well” short film is a masterpiece!! Romance movies take directing notes from Taylor! But also Sadie and Dylan’s acting and chemistry!! Wow and the fact that the fight scene was improvised blew me away. Shows how good of an actors they are!
It's really wild to me that even though cindy's audience kept growing, she keeps being vulnerable in videos like this and liking so many of the comments. like from the outside looking in it's very cool how she's still trying to be close to her audience, but i assume it must be very taxing to see so many ppl relate to your trauma and to have to listen to all of them share in the comments. anyway cindy if you see this, hope you take care of yourself even when it isnt marketable lmao + even if you chose to not share stuff abt yourself and just talk abt books/movies/music/whatever, we'd still watch your videos !
Aw thank you for being so considerate 🥺 I love engaging with y'all! It def gets harder to engage with every single person but it's what motivates me to post videos so I can keep hanging out with y'all ♥️
@@withcindy Hard agree. I love going through the comments under your videos just because I feel like you built such a great community here. I love reading people's comments and your replies. I don't know how you do it and I really have to applaud you for taking the time to engage in this way. Just know that it is greatly appreciated although by no means expected from you
Finally, a music video about dating abuse! Not many popular media (music and movies) portray dating abuse and I really wish there was more portrayals. I was in a subtly abusive relationship when I was 17 and the man was in his 20s. It took a tremendous amount of courage for me to finally break free. I'm glad to see your reaction, Cindy! 🥰
I just got a call from a girl who dated my ex just after we had broke up six years ago and we were shitting about him , how he gaslighted us and manipulated us into believing we were the ones at fault. He never apologized for his mistakes and even his friends put him to a pedestal. Whenever I tried to call back or assert the wrongs he did to me they told me 'you should stop making people remember their mistakes and move on' and I did. This was so relatable to watch and kind of painful but catharsis type , you know you are in much better position today .
I was stuck in a toxic/emotional abusive relationship for 4 years, I am now 21. This video & your video was so nice to hear. I find comfort to know I am not alone lol
I was curious after watching this so I looked up Jake Gylenhaal's response to this video and he literally said he's "embarrassed" that he's being "targeted" for dating a 25 year old. Like, honey that's not why you're being targeted. You're being targeted for your abusive behaviour and general toxicity sweaty 😌😌
Honestly it's so impressive that you've been through this and you still were able to do college just fine(or maybe I'm assuming too much idk). I was abused and that completely fucked up my college schedule to the point I had to transfer to another university and redo a lot of stuff because the two didn't have exactly the same structure for the same course, which still makes me very frustrated when I think about it.
Well, I'm just glad that you, Taylor, and Sadie got out of those relationships with your heads held high. Men like that try to break you down so you'll think that you don't deserve better and that they are kind for "tolerating your faults". It's gross. But you guys are free now to control your own destinies. Best of luck on your journey and with your book.
Cindy's "memory lane" is literally just PTSD
JDKASDJKLSAK TRUE
Pffft
Therapy and wine diva, therapy and wine.
@@withcindy He read that letter Cindy. He's embarrassed so he's saying he didn't, but I guarantee you he did. They do this shit, stupid right?
TRUUEEEEEEE
“Hmm. Why didn’t he date your dad if he wanted someone closer in age?” DYING 😭
not her suggesting jake should date zaddy scott swift
just wondering... 🤔
brokeback mountain says hi
So in that case 29 years is not an age difference
@@jennykhenven3058 Is a joke calm down
the brilliance of casting Dylan O'Brian, one of the most adorkable actors of the decade, to play this creepy gaslighting 30 yo dude to confront the "but he's such a nice guy" bias we sometimes have for famous charismatic ppl like Jake! * chef's kiss * 👌
The casting was so great!
Extra points that he outright knows that what he performed was gaslighting and toxic.
fuck yea
too much creeps get shown as prudes in shows
when almost always, its the pretty middle class mid 30s guys that get away with this shit
It's truly giving 17 year old me who was obsessed with Dylan the hives
Yeah!! It's kinda like what they did in Promising Young Woman!!
monetizing the trauma, we support an entrepeneurial queen
exactly
Such a role model tho :)
A true Girlboss.
So true. Always try to profit off the pain
@@boomexplosivo turn pain to power fr
The age gap between Dylan and Sadie was deliberate so that people feel uncomfortable about men like this.
good
They are 10 or 11 years apart, just like taylor and jake were
@@cansadafernanda he's 30 and she's 19
@@ohdear5890 Yeah I also was like "isn't she, like, underaged?"
Taylor just being so detail and getting her coins
Not a Swiftie, but I admire Taylor of how brave she is. She's becoming more outspoken as years go by. That's a good role model for young people out there
but what’s the point of saying you’re not a swiftie? if you like something about someone you can just say it you don’t have to say im not a fan but --
@@ElizabethNicoleSchwartz it does matter, cause fans are known to always be at least a little bit biased towards their faves. Someone saying “I’m not a fan but” does it to show that anyone, regardless of their opinion on her music, can recognize she’s a good role model. That’s a good thing so I don’t see why you guys are getting upset at that.
it sounds like she's matured a lot too which u can tell by how she approached this film!
@@user-pk1ix1lb3y why does it matter what people say about themselves? I just felt like I wanted to say I'm not a Swiftie but I admire what she did. Fans like you *always* make people uncomfortable
@@burntblueberrywaffles Thank you. Why do people jump to conclusions?
fun fact: jake worked with tom holland in spiderman and in interviews he was always calling him "kid" and stuff. tom is the same age as his current girlfriend.
Truly creepy 😬
That’s super disturbing
😐☹️
I don't understand how that's a fun fact 😬😞
wow
The fact she openly throws shade at her ex's is ✨chef's kiss✨
time to reclaim my truth!
My favourite part is how she wrote these lyrics back like 10 years ago, but has that line “your lovers stay my age”, when he’s now 40 dating a 25 year old. Like FOR REAL. Taylor KNEW, she knew all along who he was.
Taylor invented “say it with your chest” cuz sis been saying it with her chest, back and everything else
@@withcindy
Bill-
L
"Jake Gyllenhaal would not have a diverse group of friends" made me laugh SO hard lmao you're so right 😂
YUP YUP YUP
I read this the the exact moment she said it 💀
i must really admit taylor was really smart casting sadie and dylan because you could clearly see the age gap between those two. we feel uncomfortable, because we're supposed to be uncomfortable and disgusted about the whole dynamic. it's just so sad to think that back then, instead of questioning these adult men preying on young taylor, SHE was the one who was blamed and hated for it.
truuuu and sadie sink is always great
@@withcindy give some creds to my boy dylan
Sade is 19 and Dylan is 30, so definitely very close to Taylor/Jake's ages at the time!
Sadie is 19 and Dylan is 30 so...it's the same gap.
You could say they were casted... all too well
About the hand-dropping issue... It's so deliberate! Like, he's feeding her small bits of apology so she would think that, "at least he's acknowledging some of the things he did to me" He's giving her a false hope that he knows he is wrong and that he'll just need more time to fully admit it all
if he drops ur hand, drop him 🤔
Ooooh so true, the I promise I will change but they never do, and what's worse, is some will try to blame you for their mistakes
And it's a reference from her song Champaign Problems from her Evermore album too.
This is literally what my best friend's boyfriend does. She thinks he is slowly changing, but every time I see her it's one and the same thing.
@@withcindy off a cliff 🤔
Cindy screaming GET AWAY FROM HER was so me like literally dude GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER.
me at any man tbh
"Fck the patriarchy" So performative
But in young Taylor's eyes, he was doing something big. Now that she's older, she's like, dude... that's the bare minimum
Yes absolutely
i would have bounced so fast
You realize that half the country actively supports an authoritarian takeover, right? They are actively pushing for an end to abortion rights, voting rights, gay rights, etc. They either don't believe that the patriarchy exists or actively support it. And it's way more than half depending on where in the country that you live.
@@TacticusPrime Yes, I do realise that, because I'm a PoC woman. Are you seriously trying to educate me, the very person who's always affected by the patriarchy? Am I supposed to praise a guy for having a key chain that has words women all over the world have been saying for years? Jake is just being performatie. His words are empty because he does nothing, so take your essay somewhere else
@@TheFlowerbeast Yeah, I don't care who you are. Candace Owens is a woman of color too. Does she deserve a medal?
Stop pretending that it's normal or expected to find men willing to publicly denounce the patriarchy. It's not.
I saw a meme about this song about how Jake never thinks of Taylor. And like probably not, but i don't think it's a sick burn to say "this much older man who manipulated and gaslit you doesn't even THINK about you" like yeah abusers (whether purposeful or not) are not as affected by their relationship as the abused
very tru. they can just move on peacefully and that's what's annoying about it
what u say is so truee^^
also off topic but i like ur pfp :)
@@andreamontanaa thanks 😊 gotta rep my girl
I mean, he does bc now he’s mad that she called out his habit of dating younger women, OOPS 🤭
I noticed that, too! So many people try to dismiss how much truth she put into this 10 minute version, saying she still hasn’t moved on and trying to push that crazy ex-girlfriend narrative on her again when in reality, her fans who’ve related to the original version have requested for the 10 minute one for almost a decade now. With reclaiming her work through rerecordings, it’s only smart and sensible to include exclusive tracks so people feel more inclined to support these instead of the old masters.
It's even creepier when you find out Jake started dating his latest girlfriend in 2018... when she was 22 and he was 38. That's a 16 year age gap, y'all. Jake and Taylor's age gap was 9 years. Let that sink in.
Yikes
I think he realized that he could no longer control someone with even that large of an age gap, so he went for someone even YOUNGER than him to get the control and power he wanted
@@queene315 she wasnt younger i dont think, he's just older to the gap was bigger
I KNOW it was on purpose but Sadie and Dylan together gave me goosebumps i was deeply uncomfortable and it’s important we see that age difference and all the power dynamics involved.
agreed!!
All insults to the characters aside, Dylan and Sadie did an awesome job. I could feel the emotions and they really showed us what a toxic relationship can be like. So sorry for yours though, Cindy. It’s sad that there are still terrible people like that out there. You definitely deserve better, but look on the bright side: you are a successful TH-camr, an amazing person with great humour and personality, and where is him, huh? Probably sitting alone in his mom’s basement regretting ever being born.
thank u
@@withcindy ahhh thank you ❤️
Being 30 myself right now... I see 19-20 year olds and am honestly flabbergasted at the idea of being romantically interested in them. It's literally SUCH a different place in life!
dude a 20 year old is a literal CHILD to me
@@withcindy Seriously!! Still basically a highschooler.
Dude, I’m 27, and I have a lot of younger coworkers, some of whom are like 18 and bc I tend to be flirty (with people OF AGE, I add) they try to get into that with me and I just CAN’T. These are KIDS. I can’t be doing none of that, it feels so wrong.
@@hkazu63 why are you flirty with them though, or do you just mean you're friendly and they take it wrong
@@ChuppahCrunch I think they mean flirty in the way that someone might be flirty with their friends.
I broke up with my bf literally the day after I saw the shortfilm. I saw myself too much in it. Now im doing great
LOVE THAT FOR U
YOU GO QUEEN 👑
Wow that’s great for you!
👸🏻
Alright! :)
yet another reminder that cindy is *the* most relatable influencer
Wish y'all didn't have to relate to me this way 😭
@@withcindy bitch me too
the word influencer just seems wrong bruh 😭
@@withcindy the fact that we've all been in toxic relationships says a lot about men lol XD
and the fact that John Mayor got all upset and defensive when Dear John came out, again blaming Taylor for everything and acting like she was the terrible one for releasing the song 🤢 it’s the men taking absolutely no responsibility and having no self awareness
They never learn
Red flag: if your partner never remembers the “little things” they do that hurt you and never apologizes, but they remember EVERYTHING you’ve ever done that they didn’t like and won’t let it go??? Honey, run.
If you bring up even one little thing that upsets you even slightly and they treat it like a massive overreaction or a huge chore to even talk about, run.
If bringing something up suddenly “ruins the night” and they try to say that you’re starting a fight or worse, making them lash out at you, RUN DON’T WALK. Don’t even try to correct them. Just go “I see who you are now and I’m leaving.” Not even worth reading them to filth and giving them ammunition to fuel their internal “wow my ex was crazy” perspective.
Yup my ex did all of those things!!
Not my ex my parents 😭
@@Aisha_Luv man I’m sorry 😔 create as many boundaries as you can
Even the language he's using "holding me hostage " over what he says to be a "moment he doesn't remember "
1)he's playing the victim like it's an instrument.
"Don't give me that look. That's such bullshit"
2) implying that her getting emotional and feeling hurt is manipulative when it's the other way around.
"I'm sorry I drop your hand"
3) playing the good guy while completely missing the point and making it seem like she was being irrational over something small.
Ngl, I wanna commend Cindy for being so open with her past toxic and emotionally abusive relationship. It's honestly gonna help a lot of people (including me) navigate future relationships because of the wisdom she imparted to us. Thanks so much Cindy. Continue being awesome.
learn from my mistakes!!
true dat
The lyrics of the song were orginally written when she first wrote the song. They were ultimately edited out. She mentioned in interviews at the time that the 1st draft of this song was about 10 minutes and for YEARS fans have been asking for it, to hear the verses that got cut. And with the re-records, she decided to include it with the album as a vault track. Just to clarify that it's not current taylor adding verses to an old song!
thanks for clarifying!
The fact that she first put out a more forgiving version of this song because she probably anticipated she'd get shamed for what happened makes me so mad and sad. Red was the era where everything went kind of downhill for her in terms of her reputation and the media painting her as a serial dater, and yet nobody questioned what was a 30yo doing dating her. It must be really liberating to be able to tell the whole story now, since she had been guarding these lyrics for 10 years! Also, another fact: she would cry when singing this song live, but she's said that the fans changed this song for her because it's the fandom's favorite and we always sing along to it, and it was nice to reclaim it that way because she's really proud of it.
Thank you for being so open and sharing your own experience, I'm glad you're a in better place now, you deserve nothing but the best, Cindy. ❤️❤️❤️
awww im so glad that she can now be proud of the song and take new meaning out of it!!
the term "serial dater" really highlights how they didn't really had anything to attack taylor with huh
like, it's such a non insult, they couldn't find any real reasons to hate her so they just made that up
@@imnotreallyjess4318 The media loves hating on young women. They still do, sadly.
@@imnotreallyjess4318 right like she's pretty unproblematic so her "scandals" are basically just toxic men trying to gaslight her and making themselves the victim
what scares me about this short film is that this shit really happened to taylor and NO ONE QUESTIONED a 30 year old man dating a 20 year old? like nobody saw any red flags at all? like hm his guy is a bit suspicious?? nothing??
And they still don't
A lot of guys say he did nothing wrong
yeah they actually just called her crazy and an attention seeker for “singing about her ex’s”
Oh trust, plenty of people did question it. The thing is, many others were in support of it. That's the scary thing! Another scary thing was seeing people in support of the relationship because it was Jake. I saw many people saying "he's so mature so at least she isn't dating someone like Leo" as if one bad thing is okay because there's a worse option - so gross!
hopefully it is now more stigmatized so that we can shame these men lol
and it happened TWICE. before jake she dated another older guy when she was 19 and he was 32 and people still didn’t think anything about it
Cindy trash talking men is the content I subscribed for
It's all I do
Yessss
Jake would definitely have a "Fuck the Patriarchy" Keychain. I have no doubt.
I feel like that line just SCREAMS performative feminism, like in front of everyone he's the super feminist dude but then treats his gf like shit
thanks i hate it
@@lalalabiba stooopp that's so mean haha
Besides, it's his choice anyways
Probably thinks letting his 20 year old girlfriend drive him whenever he gets mad is feminism 😭
@@corneliastreets jake probably: feminism, take the wheel!
The SECOND you mentioned your ex was in a frat, I was like “Ah, that explains EVERYTHING”.
He was also a business major so it was a BUSINESS fraternity 🤢🤢🤢
The prolonged silence after the “fuck the patriarchy” keychain line... lmao
i haaaate that keychain
I legit read this comment as that scene happened. The timing of it all.
Cindy's prolonged silences kill me every time, so effectively comedic
@@shakirashipslied9721 SAME
i honestly thought the screen froze at first
'ill get older but your lovers stay my age' what a serve. literally thank youuu for the reacting this! this is the best video
PERIODDDDD
Cindy really remembering the old days where she lived her Y/N lifestyle. I'm so sorry.
I too am sorry
Worst thing about being in a relationship where you've been gaslit: You SOMEHOW still question if you overreacted. I'm still angry about how my ex treated me and how I let him take advantage of the fact I genuinely cared about him. It's been years since I last spoke to him and I still have a panic attack if I see him pop up when he deletes an account I already blocked and makes a new one then shows up in my "people you may know" section.
I'm glad you're out of your toxic relationship. I know looking at stuff like this isn't always easy so thank you for being open about this.
so sorry u have to deal with panic attacks :( i'm glad ur out of the relationship too and working on ur healing!!
crying in the parking lot at 3 am in your pajamas is the most taylor swift thing ever, like, it could totally be a lyric in one of her songs
Omg you're right
“He literally looks like her Dad.” I DIED 😭☠️
i aint wrong tho 😭
Why did she speak facts 😀💔
It was going well until Cindy mentioned her receiving an “apology” e-mail from her ex 😭 ugh i received the same thing and it was soooo annoying. men really have the audacity to twist the narrative to fit their truths. i’m so glad you’re in a better place now, Cindy!
Ew I'm sorry you received the same thing! They truly just do that to make themselves feel better lol
An amazingly relevant Taylor Swift song about an "apology" letter is the song closure. It's got lines like "don't treat me like a situation that needs to be handled", "I can feel you smoothing me over", and "I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life, staying friends would iron it out so nice".
"Toxic relationship?" Cindy you can't just be calling out all YA novels
djsalkdjklsa
Petition to give Cindy a long-distance hug
sending u hugs back!!
I'm so glad that the narrative has changed. That we see these relationships and question them. It's so sad that way back then nobody questioned or defended Taylor, and she was crucified for writing about it. I admire her because even though she's young and was being being bullied, she just did what she did best, songwriting. She transformed her pain into something so beautiful that everyone can relate to.
I'm really glad that we are talking about huge age gaps in relationships and gaslighting and manipulation. It really is a formative experience if you are less than 25 (your brain is not really mature yet)
And thank you for sharing Cindy!!! Stay safe queen!!!
so truuuu like even when i interact with ppl in their 20 i feel like im talking to a child... i cant imagine DATING one EWW
@@withcindy EXACTLY
I dont think the narrative has changed that much like people are still going after billlie eilish and olivia rodrigo for being preyed on by the way older men theyre currently datinv (or dated i dont know if they're still together)
There's that great quote from Bojack Horseman--"When you look at someone thru red colored glass, red flags just look like flags." Guys like this date younger because these girls are young enough to still have the blinders on. Irony is that guys like this are there the reason the blinders come off forever after. No more rose colored glass.
so true!!
Cindy, you don't know me, but as someone who was also in a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship, hearing you talk about your own experiences and how you moved past them; I'm proud of you.
im proud of u too for getting out of that relationship!!
I swear this type of people always remember things differently and the worst thing is when their and even your friends enable the behavior. Suddenly is not just your partner that makes you feel like you're crazy but also the people around you so you end up actually believing you're the problem. I got emotional watching the short film and I got emotional again watching Cindy react to the short film, even after many years you really do remember those relationships all too well.
yep but we know the truth!!
I truly believe, "You call me up again just to break me like a promise / so casually cruel in the name of being honest," are the best lyrics Taylor Swift has ever written.
It's a great line!
Trust me, your ex read that letter. That's why he replied denying it - because he knew you was right and had nothing to say. What a jerk!
i totally believe he would rather not read the letter to preserve his own sense of self. so he can still feel like a good guy lol
i think the reason she repeats 'you remember it.. i remember it' so many times is because she knows what really happened, and despite him trying to gaslight her and claim his own version of events, she knows that he knows the truth. that's what the entire outro was supposed to convey (to me)
Something she didn't include in this music and short film - Jake cheated on her, and told her through the phone (she talks about it in Babe, also from Red). "And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest" represents this moment. In Babe, she talks about how he broke the sweetest promise he shouldn't have made, and called her plenty of times to talk about it. Also, The Moment I Knew talks about the 21 party he missed, and Begin Again and I Bet You Think About Me show more details about their relationship (how he always "laughed at her dreams, rolled his eyes on her jokes", didn't want her to use high heels because she's already tall, and with heels she would be taller than him, how he would always talked down her music and plans...). So much to take from Red about their relationship and Jake, but All Too Well resumes it all too well
The heels thing is in Begin Again and yes I agree she really fleshed out the whole story
Damn I didn’t know Jake cheated- I hate him even more now 😭
That scene of the argument not only was he (Dylan) manipulating her (Sadie) verbally but also when he was just dunking the dirty dishes onto her to clean up as well. Really added to the symbolism of the heavy weight he was pushing on her emotionally..That was some good subtext stuff Taylor did, it made that scene so much more emotional 😭
I'm only 18 and I've never been in a relationship with anyone before. But recently, I had a huge fallout with one of my best friends, and I could really relate to all the pain and sadness Taylor expresses in this song. It's only in hindsight that things seem so bad and you end up feeling so betrayed and drained of life. What you said about looking back on your relationship and realizing that how the person you are today would never be friends with your ex, regardless of the history you both share, felt really comforting to hear; since I've been carrying within me a fear of letting someone else treat me the same way my friend did. I am so proud of how you've grown from your past, Cindy! Thanks for sharing your story.❤
its ok to set ur own personal boundaries too
I've had a rough time with a toxic friend and I want to say, hindsight is 2020 but they were in our lives for a season and for a reason. Does it still hurt from what they did, yes, but it will fade over time
OMG!! I had this too! Only now a few years later in realising it wasn’t all my fault but my so called friend actually handled everything wrong (ghosted me) no break up has ever been as painful as losing my BFF. But now that I can reflect I feel stronger. Thank you xx
@@calvinmcdaniel4299 I think the season/reason thing can feel comforting for some people, but for me, it feels like justifying the suffering I experienced at the hands of my abusers. I prefer to frame it as, I wish I’d never had those awful experiences, and I never deserved the things that happened to me, but I have learned what behaviors I will not tolerate and how to identify red flags earlier. I’m not glad that it happened, but I can take those lessons forward with me to be safe now.
@@vegselene I think you're right and I like what you said at the end, we both learned valuable lessons to help us in the future
Also during their dinner, when he dropped her hand, the wine glass for sadie was untouched. I have heard two theories about it, one is that Taylor (then) wasn’t old enough to drink but he didn’t care or bother about it, or that she liked white wine but he didn’t care about her preference.
ooo interesting theory!!
Lol, always forget that legal age in America is 21
@@jennykhenven3058 tbh maybe that is one of their only good ideas. I am not really a fan of how in my country and most europe you become allowed to drink alcohol without supervision of a responsible adult and drive( also on your own), exactly at the same age.
@@nessyness5447 Sorry, but 18 years old is a responsible adult and the longer you allow people to not be accountable for their actions the longer it will take to get to the age of an “adult” . Just wait another 20 years and the legal age would be stretched to 45
@@jennykhenven3058 no is not, 18 year old is a teenager that is just capable to have some legal accountability. Is not even like that in all the world, in some places like for example japan, the age of adulthood remains to be 20. ( And it used to be like that in many more countries not so long ago). In the US people under 21 are not allowed to drink alcohol yet, etc. Just because the law of aome countries decided that 18 should be the cut mark to be able to make legal decisions without your parents consent, doesn't make someone a fully grown and responsible adult.
The age gap seems even bigger because we know Sadie Sink from stranger things where they’re supposed to be children. Yes she’s 19 now but it still makes it seem even ickier
yupppp
yeah with every season of stranger things, the characters age along with me. so even though ik Sadie is technically older than me, she still feels the same age as me or even younger cause the last time I saw her in the show they were about to be freshman.
and how Dylan was in maze runner which feels so long ago and he’s a grown man now, when he was probably closer in age to Sadie when that was filmed like 8 years ago
Ok but when Cindy said she wouldn't even be friends with her ex.... i felt that
Perioddd
Life lessons with Cindy 101:
Reject heterosexuality, stay single and successful. (And also thirst after ✨ women ✨)
yess!!!
someone mentioned that she straightened her hair in front of his friends so she would be more mature which is a really cool detail. i think it would be cool to see cindy react to dear john because it’s very similar and really weird that she dated two guys about a decade older than her and no one questioned it. also its got such good lyricism on par with all too well imo
this channel is a documentation of the slow swiftification of cindy
indeed
Swiftification 💀 love that
I know she said that she isn't really a Swiftie and don't have any opinions on her music, but I think Cindy would love the story telling on folklore and evermore
Mother Fur of the Swifties.
"swiftification" is my new favorite word
CINDY REACTING TO TAYLOR SWIFT???!!!!!
my day is made.
lets gooooo
SAME THOUGHT
so one time in therapy mi therapist told me that no human being remembers one event the same way, we all remember things differently, even random things like when we say: “hey, where is the keys? have you seen them?” it is a fact that you and how many other people are in the room remember so many different places where the fucking keys could be…so yeah, we all remember different things, maybe the things we remember are similar, but never the same.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Cindy!
very true!
I had a very similar relationship between ages 20-22 with someone my same age, and I still have post-traumatic stress from that relationship. Four years ago they also sent an apology text with the wording "I'm sorry if I seemed insensitive about blah blah blah" which looking back at has me like, "um no, there was no IF, there was no SEEMED, you WERE insensitive about xyz and I am STILL in therapy because of it!" It's the lack of accountability for me. Thanks for sharing your experience Cindy, it helps knowing that there are others who have gone through the same thing and are willing to share.
exactly!! ppl hate taking accountability!!
Same here.. I am still reeling, and he's like "I might have been a little too straightforward with you". I mean why do you have to lie ? You messed up just admit it
@@inaju I think there's a level of narcissism that accompanies people like that. They're not willing to own the shitty stuff they did because they still don't really think they did anything wrong, but they'll "apologize" anyway. If you can see through that after the break-up that's how you know you made the right decision to leave.
@@JessCsBooks I was like 15 at the time, and I thought I was in the wrong. 3 years later I look back on that and just feel like it was a good thing I escaped with minimal injuries
Just the uncomfy-ness of this movie really proves that Taylor knows what she was doing when making this movie. Anyway how are y'all? I'm waiting for my exam results so I'm not doing TOO great :)
i am hangry right now but i have a work meeting soon so i cant cook T_T
This song has my heart. I still can´t believe we got this original version and the short film. It still feels like a dream. Sorry you had to go through that relationship and that Taylor made you think about it again. Shows how her songs are so relatable.
thank u
Cindy is absolutely destroying Jake getintheshower and I'm here for it
"Jake Getintheshower" sounds like an invitation
GETINTHESHOWER PLEASE-
"Maybe he charmed your dad cause they were so close in age" Cindy, I love you so much. I am dying laughing right now, all the way in South Africa. But to be honest, you are not wrong. They were probably talking about things they both could relate to... Cause he (jake/dylan) was a damn grandpa.
💀💀💀💀
the queen cindy herself reacting to our goddess taylor's short film has made my day
I'd also like to add how grateful I am that people talk about their toxic relationships so that young people now can be more aware of the red flags. thank you for teaching young me who to look out for :)
thank u!!
HEYYY
OMG YESSS
The part about them changing the narrative in their head to make it bearable for themselves…that part
Yupppppp👁️
Jakeys giving me woke Rhysand vibes 🤪💪🏻✌🏻... my man really said "fuck the patriarchy" and probably stood there like🧍🏻♂️
LOLLL he bought the keychain from rhysands store
For a second I was like : why are we talking about Rhys all of a sudden and then it clicked lmfao I've been away from this channel for too long
like he really thought he'd get a medal. he really thought he was gonna be a fan favourite after that one
My two comfort queens who turn their trauma into content so they can get their coin Cindy and Taylor Swift finally come together
YESSSS GOTTA MONETIZE
The video makes me wonder how many young girls are going through the same bs right now with older insecure men. I hope people call out this shit more in the future. Why are men in their late 30s and 40s dating girls in their early 20s. They're old enough to be their fathers.
perioddddd
Probably because of the whole 'older men = mature, stability --- young women = young and innocent, and needs more mature older man for life experience lessons and stability' trope. It has been a forever thing which even sometimes gets pushed by tv shows like Pretty Little Liars etc. The trope 9/10 times benefits men because of the power they hold in such relationships.
I didn't know Sadie was over 18 so seeing her kiss Dylan made me freak out big time 😭
Yeahhh she's 19 but it really goes to show how young people are even at 19!
I was so disturbed because she literally just played a high school freshman on fear street lmao
Yeah 😭
I'm so sorry you experienced something similar Cindy, I'm living for you roasting Dylan's character. I watched the film at midnight after doing a bunch of studying so you know my emotionally unstable ass started crying even though I've never experienced anything similar, especially towards the ending. The kitchen scene literally makes me so angry. This film was done so well (or all too well 👀), as a fairly recent swiftie I'm so happy you reacted to this
the kitchen scene gave me too many flashbacks!! the tension!! the frustration!! AAAAAGH
Literally went through the same thing! I watched the short film for a bit of a study break and best believe I sobbed after that lol.
“He had a f*ck the patriarchy keychain?” The silence after KILLED me 💀 also I never realized just how many young female stars date older men. That’s….someone should do a case study on that cause somethin’ isn’t right 👀
When she was silent, for a moment I thought something was wrong with my internet connection😂😂😂
i think hollywood makes it very easy to prey on young girls :(
Young actors and actresses and singers are in a unique position because they work and have been working for years mostly in ways a lot of other young people havent. They have money and fame and thay commitment to a job that others have for school. I think they feel grown up because of the work, its not a part time job its a career theyre putting everything into and they tend to get along with older people in their work place. So they feel bety mature for their age and so i think its easy for them to be lile yeah were the dame me yhid much older person cause were both doing lots of the same things in our career. Or they just think they more mature and want someone older who is mature.
You know people talk about age gaps and say people at those ages are in such different stages of life. 20 year old just started college and a 30 year old has a morgage.
But for singer and actors thwy probably have a morgage even tho their 16-17. They deal with all these other things that make them feel like someone their age donst understand and someone older does.
@@silverkyre I think that’s a good point, and pretty accurate. I just also think that even tho young female stars are “mature” responsibility wise, they still have a lot of personal growth to do outside their career. A 30 year old man already pretty much knows who he is…a 20 year old girl is still figuring stuff out and I think men take advantage of that.
@@landbrieforetime572 yeah i agree. I think there are age gaps that can work. But like you said theyre still so young and figuring out what they are doing. Its why i said they THINK they have to be with someone older. Not that i agree with it. Just that i believe that is part of their way of thinking.
I've seen this with my own parents for my entire life...they're now divorcing because he couldn't take responsibility for some bad mistakes and he just decided he didn't want to deal with us anymore. My mom always apologizes because she's "learned" that it's always been "her fault." Now, she realizes that she has no idea what she really wants from life; she's just done what everyone else has told her to do.
That story about your internship and jealousy could totally be a scene in a after movie
EWWWWW
during the pandemic i’ve been in a journey realizing how shit men treated me during my teenage years and how normal i thought it all was. multiple times i tried to speak out about it and my friends would be like “oh well! boys will be boys!” or straight up tell me i was overreacting. when folklore came out i got back into taylor’s music after a few years not paying much attention to it and it empowered me so much. just like me, she’s been humiliated over and over again but it a much larger scale and now she showed me that i had the right and SHOULD be angry. i should be “a bitch” if men disrespect me. i should put my well being first. i should tell people about how that one guy groomed me for three years and that’s why i can’t stand to be in the same room as him. i’m not “less likable” because of this, i’m just defending myself from people who want to take advantage of me.
thank you taylor
Proud of u for realizing ur worth ♥️
no because literally i called out my toxic ex friend on the stuff they did to me and they just said they didn’t remember, like at all, like the “i wouldn’t do that” “i didn’t mean to hurt you” type beat…i understand that feeling
NOT THE GASLIGHTINGGGG
When she sings "you remember it all to well" and "we remember it all too well", I think she wants to feel validated. Like, she remembers everything, everything was just so remarkable to her and if he forgot about it, then it wasn't as special as she tought... And that's something really hard to understand and accept, specially when you go through a toxic/abusive relantionship, it had to mean something, otherwise you just suffered for nothing. Also, it's not easy realizing that you still have some issues with all that went through while the other person who caused all this is living life without any aknowledge
This song honestly has forever changed my opinion of JG. I never paid attention to their relationship, BUT the way he responded says e v e r y t h I n g. I hope young women dating older guys or guys like this will learn from this video. To him it was just a fling but to her (partly because of her age) it was literally life-altering. We have all been there.
I love how you called out the other dudes! The other TH-camrs tried to brush it off and/ or hid it behind a blind item when we all know who they all talking about
not to be that person but "closure" from taylor swift depicts exactly what you told in the end about your toxic ex reaching out just to make himself feel better
omg am i ready to get war flashbacks again from another tswift song
@@withcindy skjfksdk when are we ever
@@withcindy welcome to the Swiftie experience honestly, this is what she does to us.
this video felt like a therapy session and I'm here for it
indeeddd
when this album came out and Taylor could barley get through singing this song without crying but watching the lyric video for the 10 minute version and seeing her smiling while singing is the biggest glow up i'm so happy for her
That's just life. We don't easily see what's wrong with us, but we can easily point it out in third point of view. That's why whenever we look back, it's in 3rd pov. We're not in that moment anymore. That's the reason some genuine adults don't give up on lecturing the young people. We know we can't go back in the past and correct our mistakes. But the least thing we could do is to guide the younger ones, especially if they're teenagers
so very true!!
i’m in my mid 20’s, never gone out with anybody and never been asked out on a date and watching the short movie made me realise how thankful i am that i never got myself to enter a relationship when i was younger and that i was always single because god imagine the load of crap you’d have to deal with if you end up in a situation like #that. as for the age difference i know people who are more than 10 years apart that are doing fine (my parents are 14 years apart and are good i can say so myself) though then again it’s different for everyone. i’m just glad i’m at a stage in life where i’m much older and when i finally start dating people i’ll know what to take note of in terms of how they act, what i’ll tolerate and what i won’t tolerate.
The fact that "All Too Well" makes us remember the trauma that we've been through all too well hahah in our feels.
Sis ikr. One year of my trauma and queen dropped this MV.
I feel like I just walked in on someone naked. Thank you for being so vulnerable Cindy, I'm so happy you're in a better place and girl bossin on these men. Let this serve as the video recording of the letter he "didn't read" Suck on those, man who hurt Cindy!
if i ever write a memoir, his ass is gonna be EXPOSEDDD
@@withcindy Will pay good money.
I've never dated, but me and my siblings had a really toxic relationship with our mom, and a lot of this stuff carries over. The worst of it are the good memories unrelated to the trauma that are tainted by the overwhelming presence of the bad ones. Like, I saw a documentary with my mom that was ultimately enjoyable (if a little unnerving; it was about the Influenza Epidemic) but the memory sits like a lump in my stomach because I know she was trying to mold me into an acceptable version of myself. I'm still trying to process the relationship, or how much I even want to have, but at least I'm out and I'm getting better.
That's the thing to remember: I'm out. I'm getting better. I am not defined by this relationship.
Great video! I just subscribed today.
honestly ever since I heard she wrote the line "if a man talks shit then I owe him nothing" I have bowed down to the queen 👑
There's nothing inherently wrong with a 10 year age gap. The older you are the less age matters. But, 20 and 30 like you said is likely the older party being with someone younger because someone the same age will not accept their crap.
the problem with a 20 and 30 year old together is that the 20 year old doesn't usually have the experience to tell when to look out for red flags, and older people are seen as more well put-together and could take care of them. which sometimes ends up being a lie
Yeah, this exactly. Like sometimes there is just genuine love there (and in any sort of age gap relationships in general), but it takes a lot to prove that cause it's generally sort of predatory on the older person's part.
@@Rozitaaah yes this, like there can be love there and it's not impossible for a genuinely happy relationship to blossom even with such a start, but that's the exception not the rule. Even people with the best of intentions can hurt you because people in their 20s and people in their 30s are at very different stages of life. One of you just started college and the other probably has a mortgage.
It's not always creepy, but it is always suspicious
@@ButterflyScarlet This is something I had to explain to a man who is 21 years older than I am and wanted to get with me this summer. I am just starting my life while he has a full time career, has been married and divorced and has two kids under 15. I am closer in age to his oldest kid then I am too him. He apprently doesnt care about age, but was purposefully trying to get with someone 21 years younger than him.
@@msgirly6827 Oh lord, creep alert!!!!🚩🚩🚩
The acting in this is so good I swear. Dylan and Sadie were prefect picks
great casting!!
I've waited so long for a day like this to come, finally, this is the start of your journey as we slowly turn you into a swiftie. There's no way back Cindy, you can't escape. And yeah this short film gives hella flashbacks (personally regarding my father xd) and thank you a lot for opening up about your abusive relationship like that!
Glad you enjoyed ♥️
The “All too well” short film is a masterpiece!! Romance movies take directing notes from Taylor! But also Sadie and Dylan’s acting and chemistry!! Wow and the fact that the fight scene was improvised blew me away. Shows how good of an actors they are!
It's really wild to me that even though cindy's audience kept growing, she keeps being vulnerable in videos like this and liking so many of the comments. like from the outside looking in it's very cool how she's still trying to be close to her audience, but i assume it must be very taxing to see so many ppl relate to your trauma and to have to listen to all of them share in the comments. anyway cindy if you see this, hope you take care of yourself even when it isnt marketable lmao + even if you chose to not share stuff abt yourself and just talk abt books/movies/music/whatever, we'd still watch your videos !
Aw thank you for being so considerate 🥺 I love engaging with y'all! It def gets harder to engage with every single person but it's what motivates me to post videos so I can keep hanging out with y'all ♥️
@@withcindy Hard agree. I love going through the comments under your videos just because I feel like you built such a great community here. I love reading people's comments and your replies. I don't know how you do it and I really have to applaud you for taking the time to engage in this way. Just know that it is greatly appreciated although by no means expected from you
Finally, a music video about dating abuse! Not many popular media (music and movies) portray dating abuse and I really wish there was more portrayals. I was in a subtly abusive relationship when I was 17 and the man was in his 20s. It took a tremendous amount of courage for me to finally break free. I'm glad to see your reaction, Cindy! 🥰
The gaslighting reminds me of my abusive family. We should not endure this kind of abuse just because they gave birth to us or took care of us.
I just got a call from a girl who dated my ex just after we had broke up six years ago and we were shitting about him , how he gaslighted us and manipulated us into believing we were the ones at fault. He never apologized for his mistakes and even his friends put him to a pedestal. Whenever I tried to call back or assert the wrongs he did to me they told me 'you should stop making people remember their mistakes and move on' and I did.
This was so relatable to watch and kind of painful but catharsis type , you know you are in much better position today .
I was stuck in a toxic/emotional abusive relationship for 4 years, I am now 21. This video & your video was so nice to hear. I find comfort to know I am not alone lol
You're definitely not alone, I'm glad you got out of it ♥️
pov: you're the impromptu therapist/viewer going through Cindy's videos
i wanted to dropkick “him” during this entire movie 🧍♀️
i wish u did
I was curious after watching this so I looked up Jake Gylenhaal's response to this video and he literally said he's "embarrassed" that he's being "targeted" for dating a 25 year old.
Like, honey that's not why you're being targeted. You're being targeted for your abusive behaviour and general toxicity sweaty 😌😌
Honestly it's so impressive that you've been through this and you still were able to do college just fine(or maybe I'm assuming too much idk). I was abused and that completely fucked up my college schedule to the point I had to transfer to another university and redo a lot of stuff because the two didn't have exactly the same structure for the same course, which still makes me very frustrated when I think about it.
Well, I'm just glad that you, Taylor, and Sadie got out of those relationships with your heads held high. Men like that try to break you down so you'll think that you don't deserve better and that they are kind for "tolerating your faults". It's gross. But you guys are free now to control your own destinies. Best of luck on your journey and with your book.
Thank you!!
sadie also had a relationship like that?? :( she's only 19!!! or are you talking about her character in the short film
@@evariste_galois Oh, I meant the character but if she did too, then I'm glad she's out now. Sorry for the confusion.
@@withcindy You're welcome :)