Re-Evaluating Everything | Chosen Family Podcast
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ต.ค. 2024
- Ashley and Mak advise Alayna, whose life path has taken an unexpected turn. Ashley rants about literacy. A listener writes in about “self-play” that throws off the rest of their day.
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No cuz Ashley saying, “Alayna you have a gift” and Mack said “cant get that in school” actually made me tear up. Ugh i love yall❤
That was a legit beautiful moment. ❤
Can we please get merch that says "touch grass, read books"??
Or. Hey mamas, hey mamas, hey mamas.
I'll buy
@@Val-rd4lb I'll buy it, too!
Love
How many likes do we need for this to happen 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Alayna, i'm doing a Master's Degree with a Thesis and it's all research and little learning. Which might sound ridiculous, but the whole thing is more about learning how the academic world functions than learning about the field I'm supposedly studying. You are doing soooo much already, I think this is the universe telling you that you don't need a piece of paper validating you to do the things you want to do and to help people. And this comes from another overachiever who has no choice but to be the best and do the most.
I just dropped out of a masters/specialists program. I became so disillusioned with academia. I just couldn’t continue.
I agree. Most PhD's in psychology feel like they are preparing you to become a teacher and produce research for the university. Non research masters in counseling is really ideal if working with people and helping people is at the core of your desire and drive.
Psychiatry is a different thing all together because it's a medical degree and working directly with patients and diagnosing psychological conditions and prescribing meds (they do way more but).
I backed away from grad school and PhD's because I don't want to spend my career chasing funding grants and performing research while also having to teach. Being a college professor is a lot of work.
this!!! academia and research oriented programs are not all that they’re cracked up to be. I’m also leaving academia and turning to a more industry-focused master’s!
Just bumping your comment for Alayna
I second that fully. I am in the same boat. I wish I had done a practical/counselling thesis.
"Do I need to speak to someone?"...Ashley; the friend we all wish we had
15:12 I’d like to share something very personal on this topic.
Last year my mental health was all over the place and long story short, one night I was having a psychotic episode where I was losing my grip on reality and simultaneously started having the worst panic attacks of my life. I have a mental health emergency contact saved in my phone but I was shaking so hard I couldn’t unlock it. I was at my PC and Googled “tips for panic attack” but it had gotten so bad that my vision was blurry and I couldn’t read the screen. In that moment I honestly believed I wouldn’t survive.
I was trying and failing to ground myself and figure out how to get help while my mind was going 1000 km/h. One of my only clear thoughts was Alayna’s old mindfulness videos. My mind was barely functioning, and I trying SO HARD to think of something to help, and your videos were the thing that popped into my head. I typed it into Google and thanks to autocorrect was able to get to those videos. I was sitting under my desk, shaking and crying, but listening to your videos. It kept me feeling safe while I was riding out the worst of it, and it gave me something to cling to to keep my grip on reality. Finally your words broke through to me and I was able to return to myself enough to dial my emergency contact and get the help I needed.
I have a great therapist and plenty of good coping techniques, but when I was at my lowest ALAYNA was what rescued me. I agree with Ashley 1000%, Alayna has a GIFT 💜
oh my god, I was crying reading this and I am not Alayna, she has to see this comment
This is such a vulnerable thing to share. Wishing you well. ☮️💟
ALAYNA you make a difference just by existing!
@@fannydoucet6750completely agree
Alayna saying “what if what I’m already doing is enough” hit me so hard. I relate to that mental struggle so deeply 💜 Rejection is tough. Alayna, you’re incredible and so wonderful
All of the flirting between mum and dad has now led to Ashley voicing her sincere view of how kind and gifted Alayna is. I love when dad really sees mum like this.
"does this bring me closer to the human experience?" woof. this pod is like a weekly therapy session. i really appreciate ashley's wisdom (in general) but especially this episode
Agreed this one was my fav
Ashley is the best. She straight up was like “do I need to speak to someone?” Such dad energy, such love *chef’s kiss*
Seriously the best
Ashley’s performance this episode is basically perfect storytelling. Starts off exhausted and barely participating and by the end of the episode is making impassioned rants. Truly excellent.
“Hump a couch and think about a windmill” so needs to become pod merch. I’d proudly wear it on a tshirt. An alluring sofa in a lush meadow with a powerful windmill. Tshirt definitely needs cool graphics.
Hey Alayna - I’m a fellow West Coaster with a history of acute mental health issues (psychosis, hospitalization) who has only recently found the right help after nearly a decade of psychiatry and therapy that missed the mark.
For me, finding a therapist who a) has unpacked their own stuff, b) has abuse literacy, and c) works from a feminist lens has been a game-changer. In my opinion, having these key pieces in place is WAY more important than any master’s thesis, not to mention that there is a service gap in Vancouver when it comes to truly trauma-competent therapy.
Just some food for thought as you move forward with your studies and career. Wishing you all the best. ❤
I *NEED* "Touch Grass, Motherfucker" merch IMMEDIATELY!! Get on it, Mak!!
Yes
Ashley is truly on to something with the phone thing. I can attest to it. Although I'm firmly in the millennial age bracket, I recently had my phone completely break (to the point of not even turning on). And it took me a while to get a new phone. So, for 10 days I had NO phone. At all. Also for part of that, my laptop also broke. So then I had NO internet. While it did make some things complicated, I honestly believe it was the best thing for me. The first 2 days I was freaking out, but after a week I felt so deeply at peace, present in the moment, and grounded that I didn't even WANT a phone. I mean literally my anxiety melted away. Time didn't slip by so quickly. I DID read a book. I did so many things, because I wasn't mindlessly scrolling. When I had to get a phone (simply because modern life *does* require one), I told my therapist that I didn't even want the phone and was genuinely afraid of returning to the mental place I had been at, prior to my phone breaking, and we had 2 whole sessions about how much better I felt without a phone and how to keep that up, even as I return to having a phone. So yeah, Ashley is on to something. And we know that she is, already. As she said, data shows it. Others have said it. But man, as someone who was recently FORCED to stopped being on my phone and on the internet, I now realize just HOW DRAMATICALLY LARGE of a difference it makes.
did you end up getting a phone? sometimes i think about switching to a flip phone when im out of the house.
Alayna, I felt so many YUP feels when you talked about "gotta be the best, gotta do the most, can't rest, must do everything all the time". This has been me since I was a teen. I'm 46 now and I've burnt out twice and I'm making myself physically ill. Don't become me!!
My ex is like this and I truly worry about her. I've tried to explain that she has so many years to accomplish things but she can't rest until everything is done. She's 22. A Baby. I have a feeling she's going to end up unhappy and having regrets about not having fun and living her life.
As a Gen-X woman (I'm 44) I agree about the level of reading, writing and vocabulary these days with the chronically-online folks. Also as a chronically ill disabled person whose two main passions are nature and literature, I was nodding so hard at "touch grass and read a book".
So I did the thesis route for my master of social work program in Halifax and while it made me a marginally better writer and researcher, it did not get me any further in my career of directly working with and helping youth - if anything it delayed things by a year and a half and made me hyperfocus on a single topic I no longer care for at all. So I think unless you are dying for a career in academia over anything else (which, you shouldn't be because there are fewer and fewer full time/non contract jobs, but there will always be jobs in hospitals and clinics and private practies etc in canada, and with your social media presence you have a huge leg up in finding your own clients), so I really think what you are doing is enough, Alayna
Ashley, we love laughing at the US so as long as that's the vibe and not, "the US is the best", then you'll be fine!
edit -
Alayna, I finished my PhD in 2021 in molecular biology so a different field. But. It is so much about research that if you don't LOVE research, it will be so, so hard. There is a global mental health crisis among postgraduate students. It was so hard. And I loved it. But fuck me, I wouldn't recommend anyone do it, honestly. The amount of energy you could dedicate to the clinical work that you would be doing along the research during a PhD would be so much reduced than if you just worked in a clinical job. And those years of experience don't translate to a piece of paper but that piece of paper is valueless if you're not going to be in research!
A masters program where you qualify for your profession without having to write a thesis sounds like a dream to me!
If you can still be a therapist, all good, no?
Alayna, Working in the field I can assure you that being able to connect with ppl is not an academic learning, it's a ''gift'' (no mater when it's come from) it's THE ability you need, and you already have it, so their is no paper that can attest that you have it. Their are ppl who have all the master, phd, and certificat that existe and will never connect with other on the level that you do. So be YOU and trust me that is way much that many other therapist have. 🙂
What Ashley is saying about Alayna is so true. She does have a gift. I'll just say, I grew up with an enormous amount of sexual trauma. I've been watching her videos since I was 14. At that time, I had no support whatsoever. Her kindness, empathy, and gentleness were striking to me. I remember wishing I could have an adult like her in my life, who would listen to me and help me. I eventually found that person and I'm grownup now, so no need for this parasocial relationship anymore haha. But I do think this kinda proves what Ashley is saying.
Literally all the people whom I went to university with and got their PhD. (which is quite a few people, actually), now do something they didn't need a PhD for. Soms aren't even in the field they got the PhD in. And I'm talking about degrees in STEM fields, so it's not a lack of opportunity that made them switch. As you said yourself, Alayna, unless you want to go into academic research and / or be a professor, you don't need it.
I always try to dissuade people from PhDs unless they want to go into academia/ a specific job (even then, you can guest lecture without one). PhDs aren't really taught, they're great for honing skills, but they come with big sacrifices. Creative outputs also can class as practice-based research!
Ashley when you come and do shows in Australia you'll find we're good laughers. We're good at letting the guard down, laughing at ourselves over here and roasting our friends. There's a saying in Australia, that your friend is referred to as "a total bastard" while someone you don't like is "a bit of a bastard". It's flipped. Banter is part of the everyday here.
Ashley's angry rant felt like a breeze of fresh air. Great episode, I'm sure the path that opens up for Alayna is the one that fits her best
Alaynaaa I can see people have written comments (I didn't read them lol) but I also wanna chip in: as someone in the artistic field, having to deal with rejection is something I've had to practice. Sometimes it's really gut wrenching because I wanted something so much, but sometimes (as you say) there's a tiny part in the brain that says "yeees relief!!" and this can be soooo subtle, but it's soooo useful to take a moment, close your eyes, breathe and just listen to that little voice. And, for me, after that steep downfall of rejection, if I Really want something I'll come back to it even more motivated after a bit because then I know more of what it takes. And if I feel the relief, it's easier to let it go and trust that another door that is even more fitting for me is going to open.
Recently I've been thinking about Why I do things, is it For Me or for someone else? Do I gain something, and if so What? I've been a people pleaser my whole life and have found it hard to actually listen to what _I_ want, but doing this exercise and just sit with myself and ask myself what I want and Why has helped a long way. Points that I frequently come back to is Am I doing this for me? and Does this bring me joy? Of course you can do things for other people, but coming from a people pleasing perspective it's important to look after yourself and frequently check in how it feels. It feels egoistic at first, but honestly, it's your life so why would you choose to live it miserable when you could live it happily?
I read bits of the Mari Kondo book on tidying and found that there's a bunch of wisdom in it that can be applied to myself as a person (behaviours I could do without etc), strong recommend!!
I agree with EVERYTHING Ashley has said Alayna!! I’d like to add that maybe this happened in order to show you what “rejection” feels like IN ORDER TO relate more with your future clients and help them through their own struggles!!!
People need to get chronic pain. They will touch grass sooo fast it's ridiculous.
I love watching Alayna searching for reasons to be happy for being rejected. We need to be more like that, it's acceptation
I think freeing makes sense there. Or cathartic, maybe?
@@mariannetfinches yes, cathartic is the term that I was looking for. Thank you
Another person with a PhD saying don't do a PhD 😂
It's 100% cool and 100% unnecessary
I’m just going home
Ashley's aggressive support is so heart warming!
Babe wake up, new Chosen Family!
Alayna (if you read this) - I tooooootally relate on questioning whether what you're dong is enough, specifically with psych work. Decided to go a different route than grad school myself and am already seeing returns. Academia and even licensure can create more red tape and make it harder to do what you actually want to do with this knowledge, so trust your gut. Do your thing and like Ashley said trust your gift! All those other doubts are someone else's standards and expectations anyway. You got this!
I so appreciate hearing this! I think Alayna’s issue is soo relatable as a neuropsych grad. This is a nice reminder
"Is what I'm doing enough" is such a question and they cycling and researching different paths you could take is something I fall into all the time
As a visual artist I am so used to rejection by now. I have been rejected for programs more than I have gotten them and every time it shows me that I wasn’t meant for it. By being rejected from my dream art school I found a different one that was an even better option than I could have thought and I made lifelong friends from it that I would not have met otherwise.
It is so important to accept rejection, it will bring you to something you need more!
Us Europeans are 100 percent ready to laugh (and cry) at the abortion atrocities in the US. We are also terrified that it should ever come our way (hey, Poland). And in general there’s this confusion and angst over the total madness of USA and its religious zealotry and moralistic decline.
Can’t wait to see the show in Copenhagen 😍
Alayna, one of the qualities I admire about you the most is the almost complete lack of self awareness that your sincerity, empathy, caring, and the ability to reflect and talk about any issue personal or otherwise is amazing. U are literally amazing. Luv to Mac and Ashley too x
Currently dealing with severe chronic pain that forced me to take time off of college and took me off my “path” so this episode really hit home for me, thanks for always talking about the deep stuff guys
@Alayna Joy - trust your gut, aka your first reaction - the little feeling of relief. I believe the first reaction we have to something - the first first first, before we think about it, smile, mask up, shoulder up - the first flutter of awareness - I think that’s the truth, about pretty much everything.
At least for me, every time I’ve pushed past that first knowing, I’ve spent a LOT of energy on what wasn’t the right thing for me PLUS a LOT of energy RECOVERING from that energy-investment on the “wrong” path.
I don’t know, we learn from everything and maybe all the side roads ARE the road, but really, I think trust your gut, your first response to learning you didn’t get in - I think there’s truth there.
Ah, here’s another thought - choose what makes you feel alive.
Addendum - adrenal overdrive and aliveness are NOT the same thing.
Wishing you true fulfillment and happiness.
This is a very wise comment. Agree! ❤
I agree with Ashley, in reality Alayna doesn't need a piece of paper to connect with people, to be that one person who really helps someone. A PHD won't make you any better than you already are!
Also IMO time spent actually doing the work will be far more valuable, so the sooner you can do that, the better for those people you'll be helping! 💛💛
I love Ashley's rants. "Everyone needs a little more chronic pain" 😅😅
Love this episode! Lots of insight. I do want to say though, to any younger people struggling with their mental health, it’s not your fault. While phones and social media can make things worse and reducing them can help, your struggles and feelings are still valid and if “touching grass” isn’t enough for you, it’s okay to get help. Ashley is a comedian and her style is taking things to a bit of an extreme, which I actually love. So, this is not a criticism of her at all, but rather a reminder that there’s a lot of nuance in that discussion 🫶🏻🫶🏻
The last 7 minutes are pure chaos and I love it
Alayna, I was so surprised that you even wanted to do the thesis component when you already seem to be burning out from the amount of things you’re doing. As someone who did an honours thesis in psychology and witnessed my sister and others do a Masters thesis, they are so incredibly stressful that I think you’ve had a lucky escape! You have so much passion and many strengths in the clinical side of psychology that I think that’s your calling and you don’t need to do a thesis to feel qualified to read and talk about research and properly help people. As I get older I just keep finding out that these things seem to happen for a reason and even times where I’ve really wanted something and not gotten it, I’ve later been really grateful because it took my life in a better direction 😊 ❤
(I actually got rejected from a Masters program and felt relief too, I realised I had applied as I felt like it was something I should do rather than something I wanted to do)
This!!
Alayna, I’m a phd student graduating this year and I agree - you are already doing enough. You do not need a phd to continue on your journey to be the therapist that your future clients will be infinitely grateful they have found.
About research-it may give you perspective about your field, but if your goal is to be in practice, the practice itself is what you want because you will learn to handle scenarios specific to practice better than you can learn them in the research setting.
I have found phd to be extremely fulfilling-my dream is to be a professor and I love teaching college students. But it has been extremely difficult, and I’m definitely not trained to be in practice in my industry.
Alayna!!! Just wanted to say that I SO appreciate you thinking/talking through your therapist career thoughts outloud, on the pod! It is a thought process I'm currently in myself! Just a little behind you... I just found a counseling grad program I want to apply for, for next year, but have been going back and forth between different types of programs, certifications, etc... and what I keep coming back to is, "what do I actually want to do, and which curriculum am I feeling drawn towards?" Knowing that whatever I want to do NOW isn't necessarily what I will want to forever, and I can always change course (which is TERRIFYING to think about, but hey, that's exactly what I'm doing with my life right now, so I know I can do it again in the future!). So THANK YOU! And you are doing a great job, and everything Ashley said about you having a gift for this is SO TRUE!!!!
Ashley dying at the end while alyna was giving a speech 😂
BEST DAD RANT EVER!!! 🎉
That sense of relief is just having avoided all the stress for a minute. But definitely not a signal that you shouldn't pursue it. Improving yourself often requires getting through stressful situations.
I love how deep and relevant your talks are. Getting thrown off a path you were sure was the one can be brutal. Especially if you aren't used to rejection in this way where it impacts where your life goes. Whenever I try to frame these things in a "blessing in disguise" way, I do catch myself losing direction though because I start wondering if I am just talking up whatever is currently happening without really knowing what is right and what is best. It's partially that same attitude Alayna probably has where everything sounds interesting and fun and like you could have passion for it and go down that path, so it sort of feels like what you actually end up doing is random. There is something exhausting about having many pathways open that doesn't really get alleviated when one closes like this. Anyway, off to do some soul searching again with the impulses from this episode. Also, Ashley, I think you need to give Gen Z a bit more of a chance. Thanks as always!
As a senior in high school who just heard back from 12 universities (and was rejected from 4 of them), the first 25 minutes of this podcast were so reassuring for me. Thank you!
Alayna, you're going to be great at what you want to do without the hardship of the thesis. My head doctor would say something like, "I wonder if this is some of that absolutist, black and white thinking that we want to avoid?" LOL. As a recovering perfectionist myself, I feel your pain. Sometimes, we have to fight the urge to overachieve and settle for happiness; which is the end goal. I sprained my ankle and have been fighting the voice in my head, calling me a slacker because I can't go to work. Be nice to yourself and remember that things work out the way they're supposed to. You got this!!
I am literally driving but I had to stop and tell Alayna that timing is everything. You will find what you need when it's serves you and I feel like masters programs are made to challenge people's wit and ability to continue and this isn't the end and you can come back and try again whenever. You should never be ashamed of putting yourself out there and trying your absolute best
Alayna- I'm in my 50s and headed towards my first doctoral level degree. There is no rush.
But, I would like to call you out.....your FEELING of relief is an actual feeling that you must listen to....everything else you mentioned are NOT feelings, rather they are your brain and ego getting in your own way. Let it go. You are on the right path.
And truly, this has been the best episode BY FAR for so many reasons
I really needed to hear this because I feel like I’m at a similar point where I’m questioning my path. Thank you!
I’m a 20-year-old Gen Z. I understand what Ashley is saying, but it’s not entirely true. My generation spans ages 12 to 27, and yes, many of us have lower literacy levels, but most of that applies to the youngest members of our generation. In reality, we share more similarities with the millennial generation. We’re actually observing Gen Alpha, who is being raised by a mix of millennials, some Gen X, and a few Gen Z individuals. These are the kids who are struggling. My boyfriend is a student teacher, and based on his experience so far and what he’s heard from other teachers, it’s a combination of the system failing the kids and parenting issues. Parenting is a significant problem for this generation of kids. They aren’t being read to, they aren’t being taught manners, and it’s creating a whole mess. This is a major reason why so many teachers are leaving.
Just add "Oh wait, you dont have that problem here. Damn it!" after every joke, it'll be funny AF
This might be just a very random and personal experience but Ashley, don’t worry about changing your references for international fans. We’re a fan of you, we watch your content, we laugh! Of course online and stand up comedy to work differently but I‘ve been to shows of american comedians in Europe and their references worked great here because the people that go to these shows are fans and know their content and style of comedy. In my experience that actually made these shows here very special to me because I got to connect with people who enjoy the same content and references as me which rarely happens in offline everyday life - it’s so fun to bring people’s online safe spaces into real life for an evening and that’s what you’re doing by bringing yourself, your comedy and your language.
I was just craving some chosen family so went to Ashley's channel. First time watching her stand up. First comedian that can get me to laugh out loud.
I went back to graduate school later in life and got my Masters degree. While there I really got caught up in the whole academic process and seriously thought about going further and getting a PhD. Looking back, I am SO glad I did not go that route. It would have added nothing to my career path. Rejection never feels good but this is probably a blessing in disguise for Alayna.
As a french person, American news and media is just so dominant on social media that I think anyone who has a phone and speaks enough English to attend a comedy show in English will be absolutely fine understanding the references! Like seriously we discussed Roe v Wade being overturned at least as much as we discussed freedom of abortion (not right to. Freedom to. It's different, freedom doesn't guarantee access) being added to our own constitution. But it does make sens that a french audience would laugh less loudly, I've never been to a comedy show in the US but that really tracks with the, um, slightly higher volume of conversation and general gregariousness that I noticed when I visited.
Both "Yes" & "No" are gifts with equal importance on the road to your goals, wooo hoooo! Thanks for letting us in to your in-the-moment processing of these feelings. It's also lovely to listen to in-person support from intelligent friends.
Alayna yes please make your pod! All 3 of y’all, your content is a blessing.
I really needed this chat. Since covid my life has taken a different turn than I had planned and I had some studying struggles and process rejections. I haven't had the capacity to really process it, but this helped me a lot. I have ended up happier, more content and more in love than I ever was and it's all because of those academic rejections.
Alayna, I'd love to see you do a collab with Dr. Kirk Honda from the Psychology in Seattle channel. He's a a therapist and psychology professor and I really enjoy his educational and reflective perpective - whether it be on any specific psychological topic or turning Reality TV show interactions into teachable moments.
I'd love to see a video of you two discussing possible career paths in counseling and juggling that with being a creative/ social media creator!!!
I second this! I watched and learned from so much of his content since early pandemic.
I love a good dad rant
Alayna! I really related to you in this episode!
I'm a graduate student at UBC (and a recovering overachiever) who deals with a lot of internal pressure to always do more and not deviate from the "optimal path". I also took your MSC course with Tracy years ago! Anyway, I agree with Ashley and Mak here-I think the qualities that make you an excellent counsellor are not going to be taught in a Ph.D. program. They also have high AF opportunity costs - so much time that can be spent doing applied training and gaining experience in the "real world". You are enough with or without a Ph.D.
Alayna - Unless you plan to spend your career in research, academia can be just another MLM.
woah
Truth. 👏 👏 👏
❤❤❤
When this episode began I just wanted to say Alayna looks gorgeous and I need Ashley giving shows in Mexico or that our time in Europe aligns.
But now I want to hug Alayna and say thanks to her. I'm also a perfectionist and I feel like I need to perform a certain way in my field. And I'm having trouble knowing what to de next with my life. For the first time I'm dedicating my time intentionally to things aside my schoolwork and it's a blessing.
alayna i’m also on the psych field, and if you applied to a transfer into a thesis program and didnt get in despite really good grades, in all likelihood they probably looked at your application/ past assignments/ interests and whatever supervisor they would have matched you with is currently unavailable/ not taking on new students and rejected you because of that. at least thats how it is in aus, and i cant imagine its suuuper different in structure there
if you want to maximise your chances of getting in your best bet is to apply RIGHT when applications first open for the teaching year so that everyones less likely to fill up with people first
it DEF does NOT nessecarily imply you werent a GREAT candidate, it essentially comes down to funding / staffing
Loving how thoughtful this episode is. When Alayna said "but that could be me in an alternate timeline" I really felt that. I'm in college right now and picking which path can be really hard. thanks to all 3 of you for another great ep
Alayna, the voices in your head shouting down the small voice of relief sounded almost verbatim like the anxiety mosquitoes from Big Mouth.
Alayna, I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and this is happening for your benefit. It may not seem like it now but you'll look back one day and see how the universe is giving you what you need. When one thing doesn't happen or the way you want it, it just means there's better waiting out there for you. You already know this but this is just that reminder to throw you back on track!
As someone with hairy arms, really grateful to finally have some advocacy 🥰
Hey Alayna, I felt the same relief when I didn’t get into the Berlin marathon. I know it’s not the same as the thesis program but I had been training hard numerous days and hours and felt like I knew I’d get in and when I didn’t I was devastated, but also slightly relieved. Kinda like, I can rest my mind from always seeking the next “goal” and physically resting my body.
I'm really excited for the Alayna podcast ❤
honestly you really do have a gift and you always have I've been following you since I was little (14 now 19) and genuinely you are so inspiring, I always learn something every time you talk. I have noticed tho you never give yourself anywhere near the amount of credit you deserve! I'm excited to see what you bring to the table in the coming year. I don't know about the rest of the world but I can promise my viewership when you eventually release your podcast ❤🫂❤
I enjoy you three talking about real life.
This part today was so painful:
Joy- “It’s like someone just dropped a cement block on the path”
Gavin - “This isn’t your first cement block on your path though and you’re really good at….”
Rock climbing!
She’s really good at overcoming boulders!
You were right there. The metaphor completed itself.
*Quotes slight paraphrased.
Alright going back to finish the episode to see if you circle back and get there.
You won't always end up where you thought you'd be but you'll always end up where you're supposed to be. ❤
Wow go Ashleyyyyy!!! THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH!!!
DAD RANT! My favorite Dad rant to date, well said Ashley!
Listen to Ashley!!! She’s speaking TRUTH!!
I so agree with Ashley! How many of us here alone would feel blessed to be helped by you as is!! I bet I’m not the only one that thinks you’re doing what’s best for you already to foster that gift you have!!
Come to Prague Ashley! 🤩 We´d love to have you ☺
Mak please the Glee reference made me choke on my latte because I remember that so vividly.
For Ashley's Gen Z rant: I am a 2004 baby, and I read at a college level in 4th grade, I'm in college now, and I still read (a lot), I'm in an Outdoor Education and Expedition Science program, and I get depressed every day that I don't touch grass. I live for being outside quite literally. Also most of my friends are millenials.
I have an Ed.D because I'm a college administrator. I agree with Ashley that you do not need a doctorate bc you already have the magic. There is nothing about having a doc that says I'm better or more capable than others. I agree, as an educator, that you don't need a doc to do what you're already doing and what you're planning.
The entry!!! That's what all of them need to hear ❤🎉
Alayna I would also listen to that bit of relief. And remember that two seemingly opposing things can be true at the same time. I can be really looking forward to seeing a dear friend that I love. Occasionally, if they cancel, and I feel a sense of relief, it doesn't mean that I didn't want to see them, it doesn't mean I don't love them dearly and I didn't want that; the relief just comes from realising that I actually really do need a breather (the breather I wasn't going to give to myself). It opens up time and space and energy for myself. The bit of space this opens up for you in not adding something else huge onto your plate, can be put into other time with loved ones and self-care activities and hobbies (or rest), which will be HUGELY important in seeing you through the entirety of the masters program (which is already a big deal). If I can relate it to mountain climbing... instead of climbing the biggest baddest highest mountain, climb its neighbour mountain which is already huge but not as tough (and in no way less interesting or "valuable"), and it gives you the opportunity and energy to actually enjoy the climb and the view more, and learn even more about the landscape through being fully present. You're also going to be learning a heckload just through the experience of clinically working with patients/clients, things that will naturally have your finger on the button of "wow, I want to follow that thread, and learn more about that" that will organically come your way without planning for it - and that will take up time and energy, and in the moment you'll probably be glad you have that time and energy to give it the attention it deserves.
Honestly I think this episode will be my new favorite. Me (and I’m sure countless others) relate to Alayna. But as cringe as it sounds, society instills on us so young that we have to constantly do and be the best. But really all we have to do is try to be better. Not tear ourselves apart to be the BEST. But just better. Thanks for the new comfort episode. I will definitely be watching over and over to get me through college!
I know deep down Alayna will be well known in her field and probably be giving lectures or organizing conversations. Shes going to be great in her field AND THEN SOME.❤
Im not sure if you know this Alayna but you help me more than anyone. I’m a 15 year old girl and just listening to this podcast and watching your videos teaches me so much and got me out of some really hard times. You’re not even my therapist and youve done so much for me. You don’t need a phd to be an amazing counselor or therapist. If I had the opportunity, I’d choose you for my therapist in a heartbeat.
Ps: you’re the reason I want to be a therapist
Choose the path that fits the best with who YOU are. Not the path that soceity teaches you "is the best" or the path that pays the most, or the path that is just "higher education" or "winning the ratrace".
Be the best YOU you can be.
Because you are the only one that can.
Alyana you are the best, you are the most. You are the person we all need to be our counselor. Counseling people is what you are already doing naturally, whether here on this pod, on your pod (which I can't wait for... also your book) or on your TH-cam and Insta. I have to agree with Ashley, that any amount of extra schooling will not make you better at helping people which is your superpower. But I support you whatever you do, you would also be an amazing professor.
Excited for EU tour. See you in Lisbon Dad!
London is going to love you Ashley, bring it on.
also alayna you'll definitely be fine, and i hope your therapy session afterwards talking abt it went well!
As someone who did a Masters one year program with a major paper and not a thesis, and then got rejected from a PhD application (Canadian btw), the academic space is a dire place to be. As far as I can tell, people only care about their publications, and topics are becoming so niche that only a handful of people will read your work. I just feel there are better channels to make an impact.
I was just talking about this topic (the hyperstimulation revolution) with a friend and starting off the episode with that got me so excited. I'm only 17, I want to major in psychology next year, and i am both fascinated and TERRIFIED by the impact of phones and the rise of the digital space on our brains. I'm really glad these conversations and being had more and more. As a member of gen z, I don't know if it's just my circle, but I'm seeing more and more being being aware of how miserable short-form content is making them and deleting or regulating their social media apps. I hope more awareness is spread in time to be more mindful of the coming generations, but considering how capitalism works, I doubt it. Either way, I'm trying my best to regulate my own digital habits and stay hopeful.
P.S: Alayna inspires me so much to pursue psychology. I'd like to be a therapist in the future (not sure about what to specialize in).
I have a psychology subject rn in high school but the teacher just has a degree in philosophy, so the content tends to be inaccurate and or insensitive. However, hearing Alayna speak about her studies and her passion about becoming a counselor re-kindles my flame. Thank you!!!! This episode means so much, from the bottom of my heart :)
I love Alayna’s college story and how she handles it!
Alayna, you are Kenough.
omg thank you 🥺
I wish I had such supportive people around me - just to listen when I talk about what I wanna do, not try to manage. I mean I probably do...
The better help ad came at the perfect time as always. You guys are my safety 🙏🏼