I am a thirty-seven-year-old millennial and I am so grateful that I'm finally un-learning all the ultra feminist junk that I was taught in my liberal university master's program that was damaging my marriage the first eight years. Thank you Dr. Emerson for your boldness to speak truth even at the risk of getting "cancelled" in this godless day and age. And thank you God for giving me ears to hear.
I believe that we can be so hard on ourselves and yes this is a fact. We all have our own rollercoaster ride /seasons in life. Love is the greatest gift in life.
I’m 40, live in Baton Rouge, looking for someone willing to live by this… I will never again accept getting treated as the “bad guy” or the “problem “ in a relationship… when all I wanted was to feel loved.
You missed the point of the video. The woman was not treating you as the bad guy or the problem. You were failing as much as she was. She treated you that way because you weren't love her correctly
35:20 Loving / Respecting my spouse correctly is not contingent on what they've done But based on who God wants me to be in my personal life towards him
Jesus said we never lose our individuality even when we’re reunited with God and all of existence as “one”. Why isn’t the love we experience carried over into that realm? A soul mate.
What if the wife tries walking away from a fight, and the husband is the one demanding she get back here right now? He can walk away, give silent treatment, etc. But he won't allow her to step away because he needs to control the situation.
My husband had made a bunch of emojies for a social media website of himself. I had an idea, while I was angry at him. I printed of the emojis. then I make a list. I hung the list on the back of our bedroom door so he would see it when he closed the door. It said, "I respect my husband when.... (my husband is sexy when...)". I hung the full door length list on the back of the door and surrounded it with the pictures of the emojis of himself. He read all of it. But when he mentioned it he only said, "So.. you think I'm sexy, huh?". I did not try to correct him to focus on the respect...I let him keep his sexiness. Identifying that I find my husband sexy because I respect him.
An absolutely phenomenal book to help in your marriage is the great sex rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire! She also covers quite a bit of this guy‘s content.
Great stuff! I have a lingering question: What about the gift analogy he started with and said he’d come back to?! My husband and I drew our own conclusions! 😆
He came back to it at the end when his face lit up at the everlasting heavenly gift from Christ. Basically saying that your marriage is a test from God and when you pass the feeling in heaven will be that everlasting excitement you felt when you received a gift you loved, but better
I believe in that we’re infinitely United with our divine masculine or divine feminine counterpart, even after the death of this embodiment in this realm. It’s merely the body that is shed. Why the union?
But what scripture do you have to support such a belief? We are all our own beings. I am not you and you are not me but in this life we might choose to co-labor together. Why should we be melded together in the afterlife then? I’d much rather continue being me and knowing you than being blended together. But aside from what I want there is no basis of truth for such a view in reality nor in His word but only mythical beliefs found in “doctrines of devils” and “seducing spirits” of such He personally saved me from. So I speak from a place of knowing and not from Christian upbringing that some would suppose, who try to rationalise my reasoning away and discard the warning saying that is indoctrination speaking. If a person disagrees with a view they should be able to share at least in part the evidence for why so, but mostly it is just pride talking and an unwillingness to yield to the truth in humility.
Still confused if not more confusion.. how do you even know if you husband will meet that need.. mine hasnt been met yet and its caused so much disrespect that we are headed for divorce and i dont see any way out.. he refuses to ever show love the way i need it.. and i cant give anymore to him
You have to continue to show love and respect towards him regardless. Find out what his love language is and show it to him. Do it regardless whether he’s reciprocating or not. You do that long enough, eventually he’ll turn around. Read the book The 5 love languages
There are some great advice of how men and women respond in conflict and take offense however, I do not believe this advice should be applied to domestically violent and emotionally abusive relationships - individuals need to repent and turn from serious and harmful sin, and time should allow for forgiveness and healing, before you can have a relatively healthy and safe environment to apply these principals. WHY? Because there really are men who is psychopathic narcissistic abusers. I know, my father was one, and he ended up murdering my mother, then committed suicide.
@Jodine Theron Jesus have mercy! Jodine, I am moved with compassion when I read your story. I pray by the shed Blood of Jesus and Salvation in Jesus Name; you and your family are whole and healed and guided by the perfect Love of God for you all.🙏✝️💖🙏
This author's father tried to kill his mother. But he won't say his father was an abuser. This author is dangerous. He tells abused wives that they can stop the abuse by keeping quiet. Shame on these churches that pay him to spread this dangerous teaching.
@@Soliloquy1972 that is just awful! Domestic violence is a silent killer and many woman, including my Mother suffered in silence because of the stigma and shame that domestic violence brings. The sad truth is that most domestic violent people will never change and hanging around because you think your children need that "abusive" parent is not only damaging to the whole family but can cost lives and cause so much trauma. I don't ever think God want anyone to endure abuse for the sake of "marriage". We all need to speak up against violence and help those who are venerable be SAFE! 🙏
But what happens when the man escalates to warrior mode instantly every time/defensive/stone wall immediately? I can’t approach him on anything without immediate anger and cursing. I am on eggshells even when I’m calm and try to explain.
I highly recommended: “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs Part 1 of 2: th-cam.com/video/a3x76Xuocpw/w-d-xo.html Part 2 of 2: th-cam.com/video/L71Fb34oOSU/w-d-xo.html
Because it’s not, that’s why He said so. Marriage is a symbolic parallel for our relationship with God. Nothing can be more intimate than a marriage and that’s what God desires for us to have with Him. Now read Song of Solomon from that perspective knowing that the bride is the church and the man is God in that relationship. It’s a romance. God is in love with us and we with Him. I’d much rather let God dictate to me what is the truth than make up my own false reality. His word is trustworthy but the enemy can deceive us through selfish desires so if our belief is unbiblical we best drop it like it’s hot for our own betterment despite how much we might want to believe it. ✌️😊 James 1:14-16 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. James 3:16-17 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Matthew 22:30 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven.
There so many butt hurt women on here having a go at him instead looking at their own hearts. The evidence of their undealt baggage is in the fruit of their offended words. Yes someone may have hurt you. But it’s time to let go with Jesus’ help and forgive that person(s). You have festering wounds in the spirit that need dealing with that are causing bitterness and envy. I say this because you matter to God and it’s dangerous for you (and then to those around you) if you don’t. This world needs you and needs you at your best.
I cant just set aside my feelings to constantly give give to God.. I will commit suicide if i cant feel love from my spouse .. Am i missing something.. this is horrific advice I get that we need to be like God with conflict ...what i dont get is the fact that you are saying we need to go without love and be okay with that ...as long as we are Godlike to our spouse BIG NO
Other New Testament scholars point to Matthew 16:19 in which Jesus proclaims Peter will hold the keys to the kingdom of heaven. "[W]hatever you bind on Earth shall have been bound in heaven,” Jesus says. This quotation is understood as providing that marriages performed in church are eternal and, therefore, will continue in heaven. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints employs this Scripture as part of its reason for performing special marriages as part of its temple ordinances. These marriages are thought to be eternal and survive into the afterlife.
Well if it wasn’t for this verse they might have a more solid argument to believe so but clearly now they don’t. Matthew 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven.
There so many butt hurt women on here having a go at him instead looking at their own hearts. The evidence of their undealt baggage is in the fruit of their offended words. Yes someone may have hurt you. But it’s time to let go with Jesus’ help and forgive that person(s). You have festering wounds in the spirit that need dealing with that are causing bitterness and envy. I say this because you matter to God and it’s dangerous for you (and then to those around you) if you don’t. This world needs you and needs you at your best.
Eggerich is so lost. I read his book to see if it gives better context. It was so unbiblical in so many places. He misreads the Bible like he misreads women. Like he misreads statistics. But misreading God’s word is a more serious thing.
Just move on. You seem to have a lot of issues. Why all the hate? If 50% of marriages are failing maybe we need to start practicing what he is saying. Trust me it works.
@@christian1172-z9e you are misrepresenting what he says by ignoring context and his exceptions he makes. You’ve in other places said that 1 Corinthians 13 command’s women to agape love. No where in that chapter does it command it. It’s a description of. Emerson does say everyone needs love and respect including women and men. I see very little real men disagree with his teachings. It’s primarily women who are against it. You can disagree with God and his design for marriage if you want. However you don’t have the right to twist facts and scripture to your liking. Stop it.
@@davidchupp4460 I’m not disagreeing with God’s design for marriage. Emerson is not God. And I’m not ignoring his “exceptions”. He is. He directly contradicts himself regularly. He’ll say his advice is not for abusive situations, but then he’ll give an example of an abusive situation and tell the woman to submit. The Bible commands everyone to love repeatedly. You said 1 Corinthians only describes love but doesn’t command women to love. And based on this you think I’m illogical. But Paul continues speaking about love in the next chapter (14) and commands everyone to love in the way he just described. And it says no one can love apart from the Holy spirit. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. That means it grows from the Holy Spirit. Sure, people can have affection, but not true Godly love without God. So when he says women naturally love he’s contradicting scriptures. Repentance is also a gift of the Holy Spirit. If a man repents of Selfishness and learns to love that is the Holy Spirit working in him. And yes, God gives “common grace” even to unbelievers. The Bible never says men need more respect than women or that women need more love than men. It never says men naturally respect or that women naturally love. The Bible tells all of us to esteem others as more important than ourselves. And it tells us we all have a hard time with that because of pride. The Bible tells us all to love and that we all have a hard time with that because of selfishness. In his books he says men need more respect because they are made in God’s image. We are all in God’s image and being confirmed more to His image by the work of the Holy Spirit. *God’s plan for marriage is that God is central in all of it.* And I know a lot of men who disagree with his book.
@@christian1172-z9e look he addressed most of your points but you keep ignoring those parts. Saying someone needs to have the Holy Spirit to love is just patently false. You are saying that all unsaved people like Muslims, Hindus etc don’t love one another or care for others. I’m just pointing out you really need to work on your own spiritual discernment. Now when you are teaching others you are mixing error with truth putting yourself in the EXACT same box you are putting Emerson into.
Aaaargh, this stuff drives me crazy. I can't listen to this guy, he goes on and on and on and onnn. I hardly understand or relate to any of this. We've been married for 32 years, and we've managed extremely well without it.
Please cite more sources, stop portraying women poorly and be mindful of how what you're saying might fall the ears of an actual abused woman. Also disturbing how he shakes his fist when he's talking about "honoring" his wife by walking away (or else he's going to hit her?).
I am a thirty-seven-year-old millennial and I am so grateful that I'm finally un-learning all the ultra feminist junk that I was taught in my liberal university master's program that was damaging my marriage the first eight years. Thank you Dr. Emerson for your boldness to speak truth even at the risk of getting "cancelled" in this godless day and age. And thank you God for giving me ears to hear.
So true
Love and Respect seminar saved my marriage and made it rock solid. We went from happy 50% of the time to 99%. Thank You Dr Eggrich.,
How can this be so obvious and revelatory at the same time? Perhaps this is a hallmark of true insight.
I believe that we can be so hard on ourselves and yes this is a fact. We all have our own rollercoaster ride /seasons in life. Love is the greatest gift in life.
I’m 40, live in Baton Rouge, looking for someone willing to live by this… I will never again accept getting treated as the “bad guy” or the “problem “ in a relationship… when all I wanted was to feel loved.
You missed the point of the video. The woman was not treating you as the bad guy or the problem. You were failing as much as she was. She treated you that way because you weren't love her correctly
35:20 Loving / Respecting my spouse correctly is not contingent on what they've done But based on who God wants me to be in my personal life towards him
I broke out in tears at "the unending first moment" at the end!
Phenomenal book. It changed me therefore my marriage is much better. Having Unconditional respect is life changing for all.
99999
Wow. Well explained. Thank you
its the attitude you bring to your spouse spirit when your addressing this stressor 16:18
Jesus said we never lose our individuality even when we’re reunited with God and all of existence as “one”. Why isn’t the love we experience carried over into that realm? A soul mate.
Wonderful message!!! God always bless you Emerson, thank you!!!!
What if the wife tries walking away from a fight, and the husband is the one demanding she get back here right now?
He can walk away, give silent treatment, etc. But he won't allow her to step away because he needs to control the situation.
This is so profound!
Speechless!!!! I LOVE IT!!
My husband had made a bunch of emojies for a social media website of himself. I had an idea, while I was angry at him. I printed of the emojis. then I make a list. I hung the list on the back of our bedroom door so he would see it when he closed the door. It said, "I respect my husband when.... (my husband is sexy when...)". I hung the full door length list on the back of the door and surrounded it with the pictures of the emojis of himself. He read all of it. But when he mentioned it he only said, "So.. you think I'm sexy, huh?". I did not try to correct him to focus on the respect...I let him keep his sexiness. Identifying that I find my husband sexy because I respect him.
Sounds like a good point of view
Haha clever! Your husband has a good sense of humour! 😂
This is amazing and so true!
This awesome especially when you have limited space
An absolutely phenomenal book to help in your marriage is the great sex rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire!
She also covers quite a bit of this guy‘s content.
Great stuff! I have a lingering question: What about the gift analogy he started with and said he’d come back to?! My husband and I drew our own conclusions! 😆
Thats what I also want to know!!
He came back to it at the end when his face lit up at the everlasting heavenly gift from Christ. Basically saying that your marriage is a test from God and when you pass the feeling in heaven will be that everlasting excitement you felt when you received a gift you loved, but better
It’s driving me crazy that the screen behind him is not level......I know I have issues
😂
21:55 the positive list for women to turn from being bitter back to love
I believe in that we’re infinitely United with our divine masculine or divine feminine counterpart, even after the death of this embodiment in this realm. It’s merely the body that is shed. Why the union?
But what scripture do you have to support such a belief? We are all our own beings. I am not you and you are not me but in this life we might choose to co-labor together. Why should we be melded together in the afterlife then?
I’d much rather continue being me and knowing you than being blended together. But aside from what I want there is no basis of truth for such a view in reality nor in His word but only mythical beliefs found in “doctrines of devils” and “seducing spirits” of such He personally saved me from. So I speak from a place of knowing and not from Christian upbringing that some would suppose, who try to rationalise my reasoning away and discard the warning saying that is indoctrination speaking.
If a person disagrees with a view they should be able to share at least in part the evidence for why so, but mostly it is just pride talking and an unwillingness to yield to the truth in humility.
Still confused if not more confusion.. how do you even know if you husband will meet that need.. mine hasnt been met yet and its caused so much disrespect that we are headed for divorce and i dont see any way out.. he refuses to ever show love the way i need it.. and i cant give anymore to him
You have to continue to show love and respect towards him regardless. Find out what his love language is and show it to him. Do it regardless whether he’s reciprocating or not. You do that long enough, eventually he’ll turn around. Read the book The 5 love languages
GOD BLESS YOU. There is nothing more I can say.
i have been preaching this to women and men alike, finally i have a friend speaking up for me
There are some great advice of how men and women respond in conflict and take offense however, I do not believe this advice should be applied to domestically violent and emotionally abusive relationships - individuals need to repent and turn from serious and harmful sin, and time should allow for forgiveness and healing, before you can have a relatively healthy and safe environment to apply these principals. WHY? Because there really are men who is psychopathic narcissistic abusers. I know, my father was one, and he ended up murdering my mother, then committed suicide.
@Jodine Theron Jesus have mercy! Jodine, I am moved with compassion when I read your story. I pray by the shed Blood of Jesus and Salvation in Jesus Name; you and your family are whole and healed and guided by the perfect Love of God for you all.🙏✝️💖🙏
This author's father tried to kill his mother. But he won't say his father was an abuser. This author is dangerous. He tells abused wives that they can stop the abuse by keeping quiet. Shame on these churches that pay him to spread this dangerous teaching.
Thanks so much @@lannmarie7235 sorry I only just seen your comment. May God bless you and shine His face upon you. 🙏✝️💖🙏
@@Soliloquy1972 that is just awful! Domestic violence is a silent killer and many woman, including my Mother suffered in silence because of the stigma and shame that domestic violence brings. The sad truth is that most domestic violent people will never change and hanging around because you think your children need that "abusive" parent is not only damaging to the whole family but can cost lives and cause so much trauma. I don't ever think God want anyone to endure abuse for the sake of "marriage". We all need to speak up against violence and help those who are venerable be SAFE! 🙏
@@jodinetheron God Bless you. Jesus Loves you. I Love you in Christ my sister. Shalom.
18:24 -- 19:00 he is not ego tistcal he is fearful, men dont break down and cry, and that is interupted as arogant and controlling
Yes we cry if we are not belittled or have to defend ourselves when we do
Mark Ledford from md
But what happens when the man escalates to warrior mode instantly every time/defensive/stone wall immediately? I can’t approach him on anything without immediate anger and cursing. I am on eggshells even when I’m calm and try to explain.
Amen
unloved or disrespected 18:06
28:10 WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF WE HAD MEN TELL YOU HOW YOU FELL AND WHATS GOING ON
Wow makes sense of why guys broke up with me
Same here Victoria.
Me too Victoria
men dont break down and cry 18:55
Traduction en arabique
I highly recommended:
“Love and Respect”
by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Part 1 of 2:
th-cam.com/video/a3x76Xuocpw/w-d-xo.html
Part 2 of 2:
th-cam.com/video/L71Fb34oOSU/w-d-xo.html
Why did he say that we’re not married to that person in heaven? I believe union is for all of an eternity.
Because it’s not, that’s why He said so.
Marriage is a symbolic parallel for our relationship with God. Nothing can be more intimate than a marriage and that’s what God desires for us to have with Him. Now read Song of Solomon from that perspective knowing that the bride is the church and the man is God in that relationship. It’s a romance. God is in love with us and we with Him.
I’d much rather let God dictate to me what is the truth than make up my own false reality. His word is trustworthy but the enemy can deceive us through selfish desires so if our belief is unbiblical we best drop it like it’s hot for our own betterment despite how much we might want to believe it. ✌️😊
James 1:14-16
14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.
15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.
James 3:16-17
16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
Matthew 22:30
30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven.
@yacobshelelshaddai4543 tell me the meaning of your name here. Jacob of El Shadaï?
27:57 culture OF pink AND WOMEN OR TELLING US WHY MEN DO WHAT WE DO AND DEFINING WHO MEN ARE
🇧🇷🇺🇸
P4
I have a depressed and unreasonable wife
There so many butt hurt women on here having a go at him instead looking at their own hearts.
The evidence of their undealt baggage is in the fruit of their offended words.
Yes someone may have hurt you. But it’s time to let go with Jesus’ help and forgive that person(s).
You have festering wounds in the spirit that need dealing with that are causing bitterness and envy. I say this because you matter to God and it’s dangerous for you (and then to those around you) if you don’t.
This world needs you and needs you at your best.
I agree
16:40 you think that there not teachable can also be translated you think our husband is not listening
I cant just set aside my feelings to constantly give give to God.. I will commit suicide if i cant feel love from my spouse ..
Am i missing something.. this is horrific advice
I get that we need to be like God with conflict ...what i dont get is the fact that you are saying we need to go without love and be okay with that ...as long as we are Godlike to our spouse
BIG NO
Other New Testament scholars point to Matthew 16:19 in which Jesus proclaims Peter will hold the keys to the kingdom of heaven. "[W]hatever you bind on Earth shall have been bound in heaven,” Jesus says. This quotation is understood as providing that marriages performed in church are eternal and, therefore, will continue in heaven.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints employs this Scripture as part of its reason for performing special marriages as part of its temple ordinances. These marriages are thought to be eternal and survive into the afterlife.
Well if it wasn’t for this verse they might have a more solid argument to believe so but clearly now they don’t.
Matthew 22:30
For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven.
10:22 women here stuff men are not saying
The fact you got confrontational over the lense makes me doubt your competency in the matter. Ffs it was a dumb mistake with 0 intent
So much gaslighting and generalizing. Making abnormal situations “normal.” Can’t stand the sarcastic tone.
He's really messed up. His father tried to kill his mother but he cannot bring himself to say his father was abusive.
I disagree; he made it clear that his mom was one of those exceptions (when discussing the bell curve) and tragic for sure.
There so many butt hurt women on here having a go at him instead looking at their own hearts.
The evidence of their undealt baggage is in the fruit of their offended words.
Yes someone may have hurt you. But it’s time to let go with Jesus’ help and forgive that person(s).
You have festering wounds in the spirit that need dealing with that are causing bitterness and envy. I say this because you matter to God and it’s dangerous for you (and then to those around you) if you don’t.
This world needs you and needs you at your best.
Eggerich is so lost. I read his book to see if it gives better context. It was so unbiblical in so many places. He misreads the Bible like he misreads women. Like he misreads statistics. But misreading God’s word is a more serious thing.
Just move on. You seem to have a lot of issues. Why all the hate? If 50% of marriages are failing maybe we need to start practicing what he is saying. Trust me it works.
@@davidchupp4460 I haven’t shown hate. Please look at the Bible’s definition of hate.
@@christian1172-z9e you are misrepresenting what he says by ignoring context and his exceptions he makes. You’ve in other places said that 1 Corinthians 13 command’s women to agape love. No where in that chapter does it command it. It’s a description of. Emerson does say everyone needs love and respect including women and men. I see very little real men disagree with his teachings. It’s primarily women who are against it. You can disagree with God and his design for marriage if you want. However you don’t have the right to twist facts and scripture to your liking. Stop it.
@@davidchupp4460 I’m not disagreeing with God’s design for marriage. Emerson is not God.
And I’m not ignoring his “exceptions”. He is. He directly contradicts himself regularly. He’ll say his advice is not for abusive situations, but then he’ll give an example of an abusive situation and tell the woman to submit.
The Bible commands everyone to love repeatedly. You said 1 Corinthians only describes love but doesn’t command women to love. And based on this you think I’m illogical. But Paul continues speaking about love in the next chapter (14) and commands everyone to love in the way he just described.
And it says no one can love apart from the Holy spirit. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. That means it grows from the Holy Spirit. Sure, people can have affection, but not true Godly love without God. So when he says women naturally love he’s contradicting scriptures. Repentance is also a gift of the Holy Spirit. If a man repents of Selfishness and learns to love that is the Holy Spirit working in him. And yes, God gives “common grace” even to unbelievers.
The Bible never says men need more respect than women or that women need more love than men. It never says men naturally respect or that women naturally love. The Bible tells all of us to esteem others as more important than ourselves.
And it tells us we all have a hard time with that because of pride.
The Bible tells us all to love and that we all have a hard time with that because of selfishness.
In his books he says men need more respect because they are made in God’s image. We are all in God’s image and being confirmed more to His image by the work of the Holy Spirit.
*God’s plan for marriage is that God is central in all of it.*
And I know a lot of men who disagree with his book.
@@christian1172-z9e look he addressed most of your points but you keep ignoring those parts. Saying someone needs to have the Holy Spirit to love is just patently false. You are saying that all unsaved people like Muslims, Hindus etc don’t love one another or care for others. I’m just pointing out you really need to work on your own spiritual discernment. Now when you are teaching others you are mixing error with truth putting yourself in the EXACT same box you are putting Emerson into.
His book makes mediocre toilet paper
Aaaargh, this stuff drives me crazy. I can't listen to this guy, he goes on and on and on and onnn. I hardly understand or relate to any of this. We've been married for 32 years, and we've managed extremely well without it.
Please cite more sources, stop portraying women poorly and be mindful of how what you're saying might fall the ears of an actual abused woman. Also disturbing how he shakes his fist when he's talking about "honoring" his wife by walking away (or else he's going to hit her?).
Gross
Misogyny
Distortion of scripture