@@MamaDoctorJones JOKE INCOMING A woman in labour suddenly SHOUTED "Couldn't! Shouldn't! Can't!" *The doctor said "Don't worry, those are just contractions!"*
Right?! I feel like he could run with that joke for the rest of his life. "Can I have a candy bar?" "No, put it back." "But I didn't even bother you for 9 months!" "Fine." 😂
A little easier to Dad afterwards, too, probably, because you didn't get super misgendered during. Though, the well visits sound like they make up for that.
27 years ago my daughter was breech with her foot coming out first with the cord under her foot (ultimately she was born by c-section) and this is the first time I've ever heard the term footling breech and I'm a little mad that I could've been calling her footling all these years but I didn't know.
Thank you for being here! Happy Pride Month! We donated to Trans Life Line this month, check them out if you are trans and need someone to talk to or if you’d like to donate! translifeline.org/hotline/
I appreciated your clarification about the term birthing person/people. To me, it felt minimizing to women, but I appreciate that women who are pregnant will still be referred to as a woman and mother. I also can appreciate the need to be inclusive of trans men. There's no need to add to their trauma.
I've said it before, but again, your inclusive language makes this such a welcoming and safe channel. I'm a trans nonbinary subscriber and it's so wonderful that you make an effort that your educational content is relevant to everyone, and also that you help educate potential allies about trans people.
@@CynthiaBrooke96 Nonbinary means one doesn't identify as either male or female, and trans means they don't identify with their assigned gender. "Trans nonbinary" is a bit redundant, because nonbinary IS inherently trans.
absolutely correct, nonbinary ppl are trans, by pure definition. having said that though, i *do* have some nonbinary friends who don't consider themselves trans, even though they agree with those definitions and the overall statement. identity labels are a kind of weird and tenuous thing, and they're so individual. so if someone feels the need to clarify that they are both nonbinary _and_ trans, i think that's fine 🤷🏻
same here!! ever since I found this channel I've ADORED the inclusive language used. I'm agender and on T so if I got pregnant it would not only send me into massive depression, anxiety and dysphoria, it would also hurt to be referred to as a "pregnant woman" or "mother". going to have breast exams before getting cleared for T and having to go to the "Women's Health" wing sucked majorly.
From an 8 month pregnant trans guy: thank you for posting this video, and your videos generally. I really appreciate it. It's nice to see cis people in your comments learning about this situation, and your videos about this process are the only ones I've been able to get myself to watch. It's tough to learn about what to expect in childbirth when most of the videos are saying "pregnant women pregnant women pregnant women..." :) Anyway, you're great, this is great, thank you!
well you hear that term: "pregnant woman" because trans men are only having children like this few last years. Pregnant woman have been for ever. Exactly how many trans guy have babies? hundreds? that is a minority minority. So, is going to take a while for every doctor and every person in the world to give into the inclusive language. That is just the truth.
@@ZairaBandy ? they never said they wanted/expected everyone to be using inclusive language. as you said, there's just never going to be a situation where everyone is going to be inclusive (unfortunately). they were just expressing that they are grateful for the fact that a doctor with such a large veiwing is making such an effort. why the need for negativity in such a heartwarming comment :/
Zaira Bandy I guarantee you trans men have been having babies just about as long as women have been. Because trans people have existed as long as there have been gender norms.
I love learning more about Trans men and women and what they go through. Understanding more about them helps me care for them better in the ER and to be able to educate my coworkers.
I don't personally understand it, my head can't wrap around the idea. However, I choose not to judge and get info and talk about it with the ones I come across to see their point of view and where they are coming from. I totally agree. You need to know more to give them the best care. Everyone deserves the best care. I hope to always make everyone more comfortable in anyway possible because we all need different things for that to happen. I always applaud those who try to understand more as well!!
One thing that confused about when I started looking at pregnancy forums was the large amount of people saying they were FTM not realising they meant first time mum not female to male.
That throws me off every. single. time. I end up having to read comments before it clicks that they meant “first time mom”, so I have to go re-read everything to get the context right.
As a trans-man who's been pregnant before, I was terrified of going to a doctor because in my experience and all of my trans friends' experiences many doctors (especially OBGYNs) tend not to treat you as you identify. I had a miscarriage around 2-3 months, it took over a year to even tell anyone about being pregnant let alone having a miscarriage. I also get harshly judged if I tell doctors I'm not 100% against carrying a child as a man(even at inclusive health centers!) Watching your videos makes me have hope for trans/gender-nonconforming individuals getting the proper medical attention and treatment they deserve! I just found your channel and love how you always keep things gender-neutral when talking about things like pregnancy risks! Thank you
Hey. Cis gay guy here. I''m sad to hear about your experiences. I don't know if you'll read this but I you are interested in sharing, I'm sure I'm not the only one who would like to know how that "harsh judgement" of you when you tell medical professionals about your choice gets expressed. Are they concerned about hormone levels or something medical? (In which case, they would do better to come us with a plan around any potential issues.) Or is it something else? Given the training of MDs and the kind of personalities a specialization like OBGYN tends to draw, none of us would expect doctors in OBGYN to judge you for your reproductive choices, right? Just wondering if its shock, implicit bias, explicit bias or lack of clinical experience working with pregnant trans-men.
If I were a kindergarten kid and heard my friend was birthed by his dad I’d be like “like a seahorse? That’s so cool!” I hope that’s the reaction he’ll get.
Fun fact: All clownfish are born male and they can change their sex into female. This is decided if the dominant clownfish dies. The dominant clownfish is female. Females are dominant in clownfish. So the larger, dominant male will take her place and become the female clownfish to dominant the rest. Which are all males because clownfish are social animals and live in groups. This has nothing to do with seahorses. But since they are sea animals. I decided to share fact about another sea animal
This is kind of unrelated, but I was raised by two moms starting around when I was 11. I live in Utah and I was terrified of anyone finding out, only my closest friends knew and it was treated as something shameful by both myself and them. When I moved to a new, rural town at 15 I decided I was done with it, so when the first friend that came to my house asked who was in the pictures on the fridge I just told them. I still had to deal with some homophobia and some friends telling me “I love your parents but I just don’t agree with their lifestyle” 🙄 but I realized because I wasn’t ashamed of my amazing parents most people didn’t care. I know that transphobia is more common than homophobia but I truly hope this baby is never ashamed of his parents because it really does take an emotional toll.
My mom is lesbian and I had similar situation. She’s raised me as a single mom and being in relationships occasionally only like twice. I always feared for our safety if a random person knew. Was bad enough that my family shunned us. I’m glad things are becoming more accepting now.
As a side note, I once walked in to the break room at my job when I was 18 when a 40 year old man who was in the same training class as me was explaining how kids raised by gay parents just didn’t turn out okay. I said I thought me and my sisters turned out fine and he shut up. I think a lot of people have no problem being bigots until they’re confronted by actual people. He was fired a couple weeks after for not keeping up with the training and I have since moved up in the company.
I hope that my aunts do well, they are raising their kids, and I hope that the kids friends when they get older are understanding, and okay with it, I love my Aunts and they’re wonderful mothers. I feel like more and more people, like the kids nowadays are a bit more okay with LGBTQ+ community.
My sister has 4 kids with her wife (her wife was AMAB) and i worry about this all the time. My oldest nephew is 13 and his little sister turns 12 in July (also amab), and the two youngest are 2 and 4. They are very much not a traditional family. My sister doesn't consider herself a lesbian but still loves and supports her wife and daughter to be authentic to themselves. They are also from Utah and moved to the east coast which is when my sisters wife started her transition. They'll be moving back west in August to the coast and I'll get to see all six of them soon. They've had a lot of lesbophobic and transphobic hate thrown at them where they are, including disgusting graffiti twice now. Really makes you sad that people can't open their hearts to love others as they are.
@@rattiesunderstars no you brainwashed homophobic fetishes cult, that's a lie, men cannot get pregnant and LGB without the T is trending we won't put up with this sick homophobic cult.
I was nervous to read the comments on this video....SO glad I didn't have to feel that way! I didn't read them all, but every single one I read was so positive and supportive! Thank you SO much for posting this and educating people on such an important topic.
MDJ has mentioned in another video about having a lot of filters setup to catch things like transphobic comments so that they never even get posted where viewers can see them.
@YaguarRosado... it’s not an issue of fragility. Trans people are constantly dehumanised, killed and beat down in our society. Every video about them gets flooded with hate, so it’s understandable this person may not want to experience that
@@user-ry1yf5sm8q That doesnt prove they're "constantly killed" (numbers/source?) for being trans. You can denounce threats and aggression against anyone and be consistent instead of naively supporting an entire category as if none of the individuals in the group are also capable of being violent.
I’m a queer woman currently pregnant with my first baby. I know of trans men in my community who are or were recently pregnant and use the term “gestational father.” I love that!
@@stefh1183 that is my dream. Making my cis bf carry the babies he wants and be a great seahorse dad because I have tokophobia through the roof but everyone just assumes I have to go through this. I wish pregnancy wasn’t still this barbaric. For 2021 I def hoped we would have like baby incubators or so by now.
Thank you so much for posting this video. As a mid-life aged, cis woman I will admit I have never before considered a man (or other non-female identifying gender) may be in a gynaecological waiting area/room other than to be present in a support role of their partner. This was very ignorant of me. I am happy to have learnt a new awareness I need to have so I can do my bit to ensure all people and families feel they can be free and open to their authentic selves in any environment I may be part of at any moment in time.
You are a beautiful person. Just, thank you for being someone so open minded and willing to learn more. There are so many people out there who very much aren't, and as someone trans myself, even if I may never be in a waiting room myself unless absolute emergency and there is no choice in the matter, just, just know that your comment here and your kindness and willingness to be empathetic and learn and such, it's so greatly appreciated.
As a person not identifying as a women, who most likely will give birth some time, I can't express how much this comment meant. I wish more people were as open and willing to learn as you are.
I really truly appreciate your comment. I know you probably won’t see it because it’s been a long time since you made the comment. But I just really appreciate it. I am a trans man and whenever I am in the waiting room to see my GYN I just assume every woman there thinks I’m there as support for someone else. It honestly makes me feel less dysphoric. And luckily I’ve never received any bad looks or spoken judgments from anyone at my GYNs office.
In many native cultures queer folk are referred to as having two spirits, Masculine and Feminine in one body. These people are sacred. It makes me happy to see such a beautiful family. This child is loved. Props to dad for an amazing delivery.
@@nunpho Somewhat yes but heres the thing... Facts dont move ppl, stories move ppl. The huge shift towards acceptance for gay marriage in USA came about not bcuz of sharin facts about bein gay, but by sharin the personal stories of gay ppl who want more than anythin to have their relationship with this person they love recognised. Those stories are what caused a shift from 40% approval to over 85% approval of gay marriage over the course of barely a decade. The more ppl see others out and about and existin openly and tellin their stories and talkin about their experiences and how bigotry impacts them; the more we see acceptance grow. Theres a grt Harvey Milk speech on this topic but the main part that rly speaks to me, even across this ocean of time as he said this in 1978 "I’m tired of their myths. I’m tired of their distortions. I’m speaking out about it. Gay brothers and sisters, what are you going to do about it? You must come out. Come out to your parents. I know that it is hard and that it will hurt them, but think of how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives. I know that it is hard and will upset them but think of how they will upset you in the voting booth. Come out to your friends. If indeed, they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors, to your co-workers, to the people who work where you eat and shop. Come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are being terrified by the votes coming from Dade County to Eugene." Its just as much true for trans ppl today as it was when he said it to all of us in 1978. The only way for civil rights to progress is to show the world the truth with stories, not with facts; facts dont matter usually, but stories do.
I'm nonbinary and pregnant, and MDJ makes me feel so accepted. This video helps me feel represented, and assuages some of my fears surrounding my son having trans parents
I had a baby last year and during the "process" it really stood out to me how like all the paperwork is singularly addressed to women. I'm a woman, so that was fine for me, but I kept thinking about how uninclusive this must feel for non-woman having a baby.
@@kimmmwest4641 No, they mean like men and non-binary people. You seem to be making a lot of comments like this, I'm starting to wonder if you maybe have too much time on your hands lol
@@MoonGalleon22 There are no men who have babies because men do not have female reproductive organs. To be a man one must be a male in the adult stage of life and belong to the species human. The same requirement applies to other species. To be a stallion, it must be a male in the adult stage of life and belong to the species equus ferus (horse). That is all.
I'm a trans man, and personally I'd never carry a child but I'd like to have children. I wish there was more safe places for us to go for these kinds of specific Healthcare, and I wish there was less stigma around it.
My son is 30 and trans. He has had a difficult time finding a primary care doctor. I know you can find a good one! Sending you love, hugs, and lots of confidence so that you can find your perfect physician!
Looks like a traditional family to me, mum, dad, and bubs. What does it matter who gave birth to the baby, so long as the baby is loved and looked after? Doesn't make dad any less of a man, or mum any less of a woman. Not everyone needs to know they're trans, that's nobody's business but theirs. Anyway, they look like a beautiful family and they're doing very well, and that's the only thing that matters ❤ Also, people are going to look at you strange and say dumb things no matter what! Just don't let it get to you. My youngest son was born with a club foot, he had to wear a cast from the time he was 3 weeks old, and surgery at 3 months. I got the dagger stares from lots of people, one lady even asked me what the hell I did to my baby! I couldn't believe it! I just smiled and said, my voice shaking with the restraint of crying, he'd just had surgery for club foot, and it was very stressful for both of us, thank you for assuming that I abused my baby, and walked away, leaving her with her jaw dropped going oh, oh, oh... honestly, small minds are not your problem, they're their own problem!
Oh man, so sorry you had to deal with that kind of encounter, especially while still trying to process the stress of seeing your much-loved child go through surgery and recovery?! 🥺 (It's often a necessary process but never an easy one, particularly with children that young who can't understand what's going on!) So sad to see how people like that woman feel they need to assert their assumptions about someone else's life, without even fact-checking first... Just why? 🥺 Really hope your son recovered well folllowing from his surgery and is living a happy confident life regardless!
Yes--I'm not as educated about transgender issues as I would like to be, but this family "looks" like a "traditional" family (mom, dad, and baby). Had I not known (been told) the two parents were a transgender man and a transgender woman, I would have had no idea. But even if the parents don't "look" like the "traditional" family, if they have a loving family, I simply can't find it within myself to think they are somehow "wrong" or "bad". When is real love ever "wrong" or "bad"?
I think the point of the video is that *visibility* *matters*, so it's not exactly just their own "business", it's important to show people that all families and humans are different and valid. They are not "a traditional family" in the meaning that society still gives to this concept, and that's the true point..it's *good* that they're different, we don't have to 'normalize' their difference, but recognize it and uplift all the different families and people. :)
@@janhankins911 absolutely! Love is love! It makes zero difference what gender the parents are, all that matters is the love they have for their kid/s. And these two clearly have an abundance of love for their wee bubby ❤
If the world treated refugees a bit less genocidally, I'd be suggesting applying for asylum. I'm pretty certain living under a government that wants to sterilise you is grounds. If you can get out on any other type of visa, please do. You deserve to be free to live your own life - and to form a family, if that's what you want.
@@Tr4sh_can34 Refugees generally do belong to one or another specific ethnic group, but if we're talking about transgender folk, they also do have a clearly identifiable culture and community.
Thank you for being so supportive of the trans community. I'm a trans man married to a cis man and I carried our twins. The hospital I went through for my care always used correct pronouns for me (University of Rochester Medical Center). Having medical professionals that support us is so important.
There is no such thing as a pregnant man or a non binary person. And if you can get pregnant then you’re 100% a female. There is zero science to non binary people and self ideantify does not equal reality and facts. Why are you people so obsessed with feeling accepted? Why cant you just live your life like a normal human being🤦🏼. And stop saying cis when you’re Talking about normal men and women
@@studentstudent5044 i never got why trans people had to use trans when they're talking about themselves to others, generally. maels are males, females are females, nb are nb, queer are queer
To be quite FRANK, the fact that he gave birth BREECH, alone, and now has the confidence to come out in this turmoil is amazing. Hats off to them. (My attempt at a joke is a failure.) but in all seriousness my respect goes out to them.
I didn't realize footling breech was so dangerous. My twins were both footling breech and I delivered via c section under general anesthesia at 29 weeks due to PPROM, cord prolapse of baby A, and their footling breech presentation 🙃
My daughter (a singleton) was also footling breech. There wasn’t any real presenting of an option like “we can try to deliver vaginally”, like they can do for other breech babies, it was just “your baby is footling breech, you need a cesarean”. And so I did.
@@tristandohnel4283 it wasn't at all what I had planned for! We stayed 84 days in the NICU during the height of the pandemic but they are happy, healthy, and thriving 15 month olds now! ❤️❤️
@@katherinemorelle7115 me too, not even given the option to deliver naturally. And I went to term, so it was an emergency section after my waters broke.
Thank you for covering this topic and always using neutral language the way you do! As a nonbinary person on hormones, it's always welcoming to hear people (but especially doctors) use terms like "people with vulvas" or "people who menstruate", helps me feel more normal and humanized.
We had a surprise pregnancy at my house last year. I just turned 19 for reference. My mom found out she was pregnant when she was about 15 weeks along. My parents tried for years when I was younger but they eventually gave up because my mom has PCOS. It's a miracle me and my sister happened but in December 2020 we got blessed with a healthy baby boy. It's honestly the best thing that probably could of happened to us. He's the best baby we could've asked for. He's so happy all the time and he lights up a room.
as a non-binary person with the uterus, I greatly appreciate you MDJ. I am planning on possibly having a baby in the next couple of years and I have great anxiety about finding a healthcare provider that will be accommodating of my pronouns, chosen name, and not discriminating against me as I know so many trans individuals have experienced. 🏳️🌈✨
I think you will. I don't know where you live. Now, in NYC when you go to the dr they ask for your prefered pronouns, gender identification, and birth gender. I know the word gender might be a little inappropriated, but I think it's progress. So, I am positive that other states will follow (I am assuming that you're in Texas for your user name)
I wish you luck finding someone. Sucks that people can't just accept something as basic as proper pronouns. I bet there are some super cute gender neutral names for parents.
@@emily-gj1oj that is not true. gender is different from what parts you have or what you were assigned at birth. and while I hope Texaslife43 will not be affected by a random person on the internet what you said is really hurtful. please be considerate to other people and do research before spreading false and harmful information. and if you can't do that then just shut up. Thanks!!
As a trans-man I just gotta say: your inclusive language and just all-around respect you give to _everybody_ is so heartwarming! ❤ Great content also, please keep it up, you're a wonderful woman, doctor and mother
As a non-binary person planning on becoming pregnant, I was hoping and manifesting that you would do a video on a pregnant trans person before the end of June. So glad it worked! 🙌🏻
@@debblouin ....you do know that it is proven that gender is not binary, right? Science disagrees with what you said. Only sperm and egg can create a baby but people who have it aren't always male or female. th-cam.com/video/MitqjSYtwrQ/w-d-xo.html
@@debblouin Gender and sex are mutually exclusive. Being non-binary is a gender identity, and doesn't necessarily dictate a person's feelings about or their use of their reproductive organs. That being the case, there are various ways for non-binary people to become pregnant, whether they do so themselves or with the assistance of a surrogate-their options are literally the same as everyone else's.
This comment section is surprisingly lovely, especially compared to the original video's comment section It's nice to see people being positive and supportive for once :)
I'm so sick of transphobes saying transphibia doesn't affect trans people. It makes me want to cry when I see these idiots. And I'm using the word idiots because they are being willing fully ignorant and refusing to respect trans people
@DFW DFW I think she does. I haven't read a single negative comment here, either as OP or a reply. Sadly, there's almost no chance that no one left a rude comment, because for some reason people feel the need to be hateful. So she must really monitor her comment section and immediately delete anything hateful. And kudos to her, that would take a lot of time. It's great that she does it though, makes it feel a lot more positive and heartwarming
I really like how this couple demonstrates that one can realize they're trans (and/or bi, lesbian, gay, etc.) either early in life, or a bit later...or even much later. There's no one-size-fits all experience. Also, how many times on this show has some poor soul sat down for what seems to be a stressful BM only to end up having a baby come out?!
I had the worst experience outside of Covid or Norovirus the other day and I was like "OMG what if I'm actually having a baby?!?" I thought about this channel 😂😂 I knew it literally wasn't possible but I thought about this
Yeah, my best friend didn't realize she was gay until she was 35. She'd even been adament that she was straight in the face of a ton of rumors for 20 years before that. (The rumor mill also had me pegged as a lesbian when I'm definitely hetero, so a bit unreliable that.)
As a trans guy with a cis boyfriend, this is one of my biggest fears that I just won't know until it happens and like.. then what? We're childfree and we can't backstep if that happens and I don't think I'd want to subject a kid to the strain of fosters and adoptions but I know I wouldn't want them. It's a lot to think about.
That’s wonderful that you are going through the thought process. That’s a good first step. Is a non-hormonal IUD an option? Those last for up to 10 years. You’ll have peace of mind for a while.
From what I've heard, at least in my country, adoptions of babies are typically fairly easy and straightforward. A lot of people want to adopt babies. And since so many people want to adopt babies, typically the families are very well vetted and the kids get to grow up in quite nice, stable families. If you want to, you might even get to pick a family (If it happened to me, I'd probably choose to give the baby to a gay or lesbian couple).
I'm trans too and have been on testosterone for 5 years or so. If you're taking testosterone, I wouldn't recommend using contraceptive options with hormones, as I've tried the Nexplanon arm implant which releases progesterone, and it progressed my vaginal atrophy faster while increasing the dryness I already have. (The vaginal atrophy is coming from the testosterone's induced menopause and decreased estrogen levels). Some trans men on hormones have reported that they weren't able to do the IUD option because of their uterine atrophy and shrinkage, which made the implant painful. Other options can be condoms, a diaphragm or cervical cap with spermicide (chemical), contraceptive gel (Phexxi, effects pH), and the Today sponge (contains spermicide).
as a cis woman who has had a tubal ligation, I can really recommend vasectomy. We actually did both, just to be sure, & have never regretted it. No contraception is 100%, if you're sure you don't want kids, (good for you, don't let anyone pressure you either way) then doubling down sure gives peace of mind.
Hi MDJ, Thank you for this episode. Even though I might quibble a bit on your specific terminology in explaining, this representation is extremely important for me as trans man who is trying to conceive. I am already experiencing barriers and uphill battles and I hope that one day people like me won't be treated like dirt or expected to educate our own healthcare professionals.
As a cisgender straight white woman, I am aware that I am inherently ignorant about a lot of these issues because I have never and will never experience them. But I always try to learn and minimise my ignorance and, while this is not the reason why I subscribed, I really appreciate how much you've taught me on this topic.
depending on the position, he may not have felt it at all i was reading an article where someone didn't know she was pregnant until 3 weeks before birth, and when she went in to get examined, one of the doctors changed the position of the baby. only then did she start showing and then actually feeling the baby move
Im gender fluid and pregnant right now. Im 18 weeks and love my baby soo much! I couldnt imagine my life without this small person growing inside me. But sometimes I have dysphoria and get super depressed. I wish that i could give my baby to my hubby so he can take over for a day or 2. Those days i take care of my needs more. I make sure i eat extra healthy and that i go for a walk. It helps alot. It can be a bit scary to have a switch and feel wrong in my body. I just keep going and know that this is gonna be wonderful in the end. (Not the labor part but the baby being here). I cant wait to meet this little one and hope im doing everything i can to keep it healthy. Also anyone else that goes through this. Its ok to feel weird when you are male with baby growing inside you. But remember you are doing a great job of caring for them when you care for yourself. Lots of love and hope you get through this with ease.
they're just living their life they're not hurting anyone unfortunately alot of ppl will view it as the fact that their hurting their own child by bringing them into a non traditional family and honestly i think it's the exact opposite i think it's such a blessing and that this child can now have a more open view of the world and not have a strict family view and i love that there shouldn't be a traditional family view at all love is love no matter how it happens or comes together
On the topic of non-traditional families: I'm adopted from China, and my parents are white. People eat that stuff up - they think it's adorable to see a little Chinese baby with white parents. They see it very much as these white parents "saving" this poor non-white child, sometimes. Other times, they believe that the solution to racism is adoption stories like mine. Of course, parents who embrace adoptive children of another ethnicity (and educate themselves properly) can often help in the fight against racism by being educators. Sometimes they really are providing a better life for that child than that child could have ever had in their previous circumstances. That said, why do people blindly indulge in the fairytale adoption stories of parents, often white, from rich countries, adopting from poorer countries, but hate so much on other nontraditional families?
@@zb7293 No. Not at all. Please do some research and open your heart just a tiny little bit to people who aren't like you. They aren't harming their child and awareness does not create more trans people - it just gives them the ability to openly be themselves. Seriously - please do some actual research and listen to trans peoples' stories and experiences. Being LGBTQ+ is not contagious - I promise.
I'm astounded by your inclusivity and your heart. It sounds so FLUID how you speak of each and every one of us, as a whole. MORE DOCTORS SHOULD BE LIKE YOU! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
as a two spirit asexual person having a baby any day now, the inclusive language is extremely welcoming. to a colonized view my bi boyfriend and our baby and i aren't a "traditional" family, but in our cultures we are very much traditional (and revered by our communities)! if anyone has an issue with "non-traditional" couples and families and they live on turtle island (north america), they need to seriously evaluate themselves and the source of their culturally insensitive belief. you're on our stolen land, and free love has always been the way of the land here. even if i don't consider myself to be lgbtqia+, the community will always be considered traditional and welcome here, by our creator's design.
I saw a documentary about a two spirit doctor up west of Canada(or maybe even the territories) that was giving an understanding health care to the lgtbq+ community up there.
@@guylainedoironrmt7510 Do you by any chance remember what the name of that documentary was? I moved to Canada a couple of years ago & I still have a lot to learn
Dad tearing up just talking about his experience made me tear up too. Obviously, they wouldn’t trade their little one for anything, and they are such a sweet little family.
I love how she makes the "it's that time of the month, but not that other time of the month that everyone hates" joke every time she does these videos and it never gets old XDD.
Genuinely curious does the dad being on hormones while pregnant have any affect on baby? In a planned pregnancy with a trans man is there typically an adjustment to which medication is taken?
The person giving birth being on T can harm a fetus, most trans men or other trans afab people will go off of their hormones if they're planning in intentionally becoming pregnant to avoid risks
A trans man is told to not take testosterone during the entire pregnancy for two reasons: 1. It causes the uterus to atrophy over time (which is really bad anyways, but during pregnancy is especially dangerous) 2. Higher than normal rates of testosterone are linked to low feotal birth weight and metabolic disorders. I can't imagine what actual testosterone pills/shots would be doing but we just don't have enough info on it yet.
It probably does but there's not enough research and like no one's willing to risk it so it's generally recommended that you go off hormones if it's an intentional pregnancy or if it's an accidental pregnancy and you realize before you give birth and choose to continue with the pregnancy.
Right?! She's made it so clear that it's not performative. Remember how upset she got when she found out that her merch could've been interpreted as transphobic and created the "Science is inclusive" line
after scrolling the comments for MILES i have seen exactly one cruel comment, and even then it was so washed out it didn't hurt. This video is going straight on my Comfort Playlist; thank you EVERYONE, especially Doctor Jones, for kindly and respectfully accepting trans peoples' experiences, and choosing to learn. Rarely ever have I felt so safe and so loved. You rock! ❤
Just a couple minutes in and I’m so happy to hear the language you’re using “person with parts to impregnate someone” etc. I’m non-binary and my partner and I have talked about biological parenthood and it scares us both, especially considering I would be the one carrying the baby and I don’t know how that would impact my dysphoria. At least I know there are some medical professionals like you who are educated and caring of trans people and parents. Much love MDJ!!!
I was just having a conversation earlier with my mom about my dysphoria surrounding pregnancy. It's so nice to see a trans man being an amazing father :)
@@CorgiDaddy2 I’m so sorry you went through that. I hope you had help to talk you through it. I learned the hard way that thinking you. an move on from trauma without help can come back to bite you in the butt many years later. Aside from that I wish you all the best and a happy life with the child.
I feel like we as a society should also normalize polyamorous families. Having more than two parents won't mentally destroy the kids, it's the bullying and phobia from other people that will do that to them. On that note, we should normalize single parents too.
My cousin has 3 dads. Her biological father who she's not allowed to see because he's doing drugs, her first step dad, and her second step dad. Her mom just broke it off with the first one (biological father) before my cousin was born and found a another (1st step father) who loved her and took care of her. My cousin has 2 younger brothers which are her 1st step father's. After a while they broke up and her mom found another which is now her 2nd step father. She still gets to see her 1st step father sometimes and her little brothers go between the the two houses. One week they'll be with their mom and the next with their dad unless there is school. They'll stay with the one parent closer to the school when they have school. When I tell people my cousin technically has 3 dads they usually want to know why and how she has 3 dads.
I hope that this beautiful family is safe, and that those around them respect them, support them, and love them. Their son is pretty danged lucky to have a mom and dad who will love him unconditionally. And while he wasn’t expected, they would lay their lives down for him.
YAYYYYY... I can't believe you actually took my suggestion. I absolutely loved everything about this video: the inclusive language, the humanity, the new info about how dangerous a footling delivery is, the not tired humor. I love it ALL
As a non-binary, female-presenting parent, I had to pause this at the 7 1/2 minute mark to just cry, because in my life it's pretty rare to find someone SOOOO inclusive. Thank you SO MUCH, MDJ. I've been loving watching your videos for months now, but now I love you even more. I wish more people in the world were as accepting, accommodating, and inclusive as you!!
I am so happy she did this! Being trans is so hard and having a good OB of so helpful. I was lucky to find a good one who understands the dysphoria I feel. I hope many people watch this to see how to treat people
Love this video and the inclusive language, and explaining it clearly to people who may not understand trans people. thank you! This couple is adorable (and so is their cat). Thanks for always being inclusive in your language, it means a lot to me as a non-binary person. 💚
You mentioning nonbinary people in a casual, positive light almost made me cry in joy. It's such a small thing, that should be meaningless and common. But in this day and age, it means the world to hear a medical professional acknowledge people like me exist and are valid. Thank you for brightening my hope for humanity and my day.
Yasss!! Thank you for recognizing that trans men and some nonbinary people may be able to conceive, and may choose to carry babies and give birth. It makes a difference to me that healthcare providers today are more aware and accepting this.
This family is beautiful. The love those two have for their little surprise miracle (and what a beautiful, adorable little baby!) is so strong. This little kid is going to grow up so loved. I wish all parents would be so clearly protective and loving. I hope this beautiful, wholesome little family will stay happy and healthy! All the best for them!
I really appreciate you using inclusive language and educating others about people who identify as trans. You’re so amazing. I wish I had a doctor like you. My doctor and her nurses constantly misgender me.
Please find a new doctor!! I know it's not easy at all but you deserve basic respect and understanding from the people you're paying to care for you! There's no excuse for them to misgender you - I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that!
@@azuradawn5683 this 100% especially if you live in the U.S. Our healthcare is privatized and you're paying a premium for that. You have the right to get the care you pay for (obviously this applies everywhere, just making a point about the U.S. system). Hospitals aren't going to point this out to you, but you've got the right to change your doctor whenever you want, that includes the damn phlebotomist at the lab too. You don't have to just take what they give you 👍
As a trans man, I just wanna say thank you so much for always being so inclusive- not just during pride month. I always feel welcome here, and that’s rare. It truly means the world to me. I wish all HCPs were as loving.
Thank you so much for sharing this story! I am a nonbinary/transmasc person, married to a trans woman. I also had a baby in my bathroom! Although it was planned (not the bathroom part, hah!), so not nearly as traumatic, I'm sure. My wife and I have two kids together, although we're lucky enough to live somewhere that's relatively accepting of trans people and haven't faced a ton of hostility from strangers. I just love seeing other trans families being represented, and appreciate that you're using your platform to help smash stigmas and normalize something that is just that: normal. Normal families, living their lives and loving their kids!
Their story is so beautiful and I wish all the best for their little family. That baby is going to be SO LOVED. I love your videos and content anyway but the inclusivity you bring is so amazing ❤️ I share your videos to my Facebook all the time in the hopes of helping my friends and family to properly educate themselves and their families on the topics you cover because the school system sure doesn’t 😬 thank you so so much for what you do!
I have a sneaking suspicion the kiddo isn't going to find their birth story beautiful. It'll probably start as, "you thought I was a poop?! Gross!" And turn into a funny story as they get older (fingers crossed society continues to progress towards inclusivity and denounce discrimination). The hilarious jokes that he could make later in life are endless. Someone else made a comment along the lines of "Dad: I don't want to be pregnant, Son: ok, I'll be quiet," and that one's gold lol
@@Amarianee birth is never “beautiful” in the conventional sense LOL, it’s the story of how they became their little family that I find beauty in; the way these two people came together and brought this precious little life into the world that they weren’t even expecting and are able to give it so much love, THAT is what’s beautiful ❤️
@@deathknightderiatris lol, I know, I know, I just couldn't help it. I asked my mum about my birth at a pretty young age, so my mind immediately went to what their kid will think. I remember feeling really bad for her as a kid, but now I poke fun at her for the all day sickness, 2 days late, and 16+hrs of active labour. My baby brain was having NONE of it. I occasionally apologize, when I'm in a mushy mood 😂 I genuinely hope they all have very happy lives and the few scattered trolls in here (and the world) grow to change or become vastly outnumbered. Based on the comments section, the world is moving in the right direction 👍
I feel like that baby, despite growing up in a world that is so horrible to our community, will be SO loved and supported. There’s nothing like being in this community. It’ll be the best village. On a side note: out of curiosity, if you have top surgery, how would pregnancy affect the onset of developing breast milk?
Trans man here, I'm no expert so I could be off on the specifics but most forms of top surgery remove the milk glands so milk production is no longer possible.
I am also not an expert but I know that in cis women who have breast reduction surgery they leave the milk glands and you will still be perfectly able to breast feed your child. If it is something you would want, you could probably bring it up with your doctors and see what your options are.
That's one of the differences between top surgery for trans men, and breast reduction surgery for women. In breast reduction surgery they leave the milk glands in, and try to remove tissue around them in a way that is unlikely to cause problems for milk production. In top surgery for trans men, the goal is to have a flat masculine looking chest, so the milk glands are removed along with almost all of the breast tissue. In a mastectomy to prevent breast cancer in people with a high genetic risk, all of the breast tissue is removed, up into the armpit, which gives a different appearance. In top surgery once the breast tissue has been removed, it cannot regrow or produce milk, even in response to hormones, because the tissue that would respond to the hormones has been removed.
As far as I know, top surgery removes nearly all the breast tissue and most kinds stitch the reshaped nipples back on, so I guess nothing would happen up there.
Honestly I think it's harder to explain it to parents and elders than it is to explain it to kids because of the wonderful information online that kids absorb through the content they watch.
Omg I can’t imagine not knowing you’re pregnant and going into labor. You would definitely think you were dying. It feels like you’re dying even when you know you’re in labor & having contractions. That would be terrifying, having contractions and not knowing that’s what it was 😬😵🤯
One of my closest friends went into hospital thinking she had appendicitis as she felt sick earlier. Low and behold she was 37 weeks pregnant and in labour. She's 5 foot 2 and maybe 110pounds. She had no stomach and no other symptoms and I had lunch with her the week before so it was a massive shock when she told me. But she is the best mother but yeah she thought she was dying at the time
Yikes! Considering how scary it can be sometimes just dealing with monthly cramps & other menstrual symptoms (as someone living with endo & fibromyalgia in particular), I find the thought of unexpected labour & delivery at home quite terrifying!! You truly would feel like you were dying, I imagine...? The parents in this video are incredibly brave & resilient to have coped with that experience and moved straight on to full-on baby-love... 🥰 Kudos to them!
…maybe teach trans people about biology and how the birds and bees work…? Idk if I get hate-you’re a damned female, and this literally is nature saying it doesn’t give a damn what you feel about that fact 🤷♀️
This was such a lovely story, can only imagine how scary and life-changing that was. Given dad appears to have top surgery, and mentioned being on hormone therapy, that did make me wonder about milk production. I'm wondering if the mammary glands would have been fully removed and/or whether his body would still produce milk (or if it would try to). If he did produce milk I imagine that might have been very tough from a dysphoria perspective.
For trans men, top surgery usually includes removing the milk glands which means he wouldn't produce any milk. It appears they were probably feeding formula, due to the bottles, if I were to guess. (Technically the mom could produce milk if given the proper hormones to induce it, but idk that anywhere actually does that beyond theory and the one single dad who did it lol.)
The mom can produce milk with a lot of massaging and a bit of pharmaceutical trickery (e.g. superdosed HRT, with a bit of domperidone) to start it up. It’s proper milk for the baby once you stop the non-natural drugs, it’s probably affirming as fuck for the mom, but it’s also a lot of bother and a lot of risk both for the doctor and for the mom. Heck, domperidone isn’t even approved in the US!
@@kiralonely Bit of a late reply but I know someone who actually did and you also occasionally see it mentioned in the wider community. You're almost certainly right about them using formula tho since it would take a while for the medication to do its work and it would be a lot of extra stress and possibly expenses in an already chaotic situation.
I'm a transguy and really happy I had a hysterectomy watching this. It's usually recommended to go off testosterone when trying for a baby to avoid complications, so I would definitely be worried. It would be super interesting if you made a video about hysterectomies and the different types. I found little information about the different methods and the "pros and cons" of a partial vs a full hysterectomy because it's usually a procedure people do out of necessity and not by choice.
I would love this too! I'm transmasc and I have really awful tokophobia as well as dysphoria, so I sometimes struggle to watch the other "I didn't know I was pregnant" videos just from the anxiety. Knowing that hrt decreases likelyhood of conceiving makes me feel better sometimes, but I know I won't be okay with it until I get a hysto. My girlfriend is also trans and she has anxiety and dysphoria around the idea of "fathering" a child, so there are days where it's really hard if we're both having bad dysphoria about that at the same time.
@@stefh1183 all the love and strength for both of you and your journey. I hope you can find healthcare support that can help you with options. For some that might be a hysterectomy or vasectomy, for others it’s longterm birth control. As someone with bad tokophobia I can empathize with that part. Since I’m mostly terrified specifically of birth the only way for me to remedy that as a person who generally wants bio kids if that’s in the picture is assuring myself I will be able to choose a C-section. But yeah these didn’t know I was pregnant episodes to have a horror aspect.
I'm all for people making their own treatment choices and variables like tokophobia and dysphoria are highly relevant, but I just want to toss out there (to the room/nobody in particular) that essentially-perfect sterilization is doable in a less invasive and less endocrine-destabilizing way. Ordinary old tubal ligation is of course not really as perfectly effective as many of us would like -- but bilateral salpingectomy is a great way to go, is exceptionally effective, is hardly any more involved than ligation, and is far less impactful than hysterectomy. And it has some prophylactic benefit as well. Hysterectomy absolutely is a useful choice in lots of contexts, for medical as well as psychological reasons, and it can totally be the right option for surgical sterilization for some uterus-havers. But it was just a little alarming seeing a few commenters in a row specifying that procedure in particular and I didn't want any readers possibly getting the mistaken impression that it's the only real option. Bilateral salpingectomy is a great sterilization method and I'm glad it seems to be becoming more standard now than ligation. Personally, I got mine with endometrial ablation so no more menstruation for me either, I know that's a big one for lots of people especially those with dysphoria. So I was able to get the whole system's unwanted operations shut down with relative ease without significantly rocking my endocrine boat. So yeah, every case is different but I just wanted to toss out there that there are many options and combinations of options! (*ENDOMETRIAL ABLATION IS PRETTY NEW ISH AND NOT FOR EVERYONE, it's important to me to toss that out there as well, it's not recommended under a certain age and in some cases delayed issues afterwards involving blood clots not shedding well from the uterus can lead to patients needing hysterectomy anyway, so it's a whole thing, do your research and talk to your doctors.)
@@stefh1183 similar story here but i'm nonbinary. being pregnant would be my worst nightmare. i would rather die in a fire than be pregnant as it just seems more pleasant. unfortunately my country tends to be very iffy and i'm not good at manouvering myself into being able to fix things.. i am getting a breast reduction but i'm afraid they will still remain large afterwards due to the sheer size they already are. it makes it very hard for me. i told my main doctor that i'd prefer a removal but he then explained to me that most surgeons wouldn't do that (idk why since it would help me way more than just a reduction. but i guess it's better than nothing) wich frustrated me.. i have ADHD and Autism so telling people what i really want is extremely hard for me
I was touched by this couple’s story and also appreciated the doctor’s inclusive attitude. Our teenage son is transgender and about to start hormone treatment. We’ve recently had a consult about egg retrieval, but have decided to hold off for now. He is not quite 17 - it was a challenging conversation for him to have, especially since menstruation and all things ‘woman related’ are extremely distressing for him. BTW Welcome to Aotearoa, Doctor Jones 😊
As a trans man I've always really appreciated the gender neutral language. Anytime I have a medical issue or curiosity about my body or anything and try and research it and find only results talking about women it makes me really insecure about even experiencing it to begin with and I always get worried to even go to the doctor cuz I am always misgendered and dead named and all my issues are viewed as women's issues when they're not just women's
Because only females/women get pregnant and give birth. I don't understand what is so hard to understand about this. Transmen are biologically female adults. Women are biologically female adults. It's the same organism from a purely scientific standpoint. So, reading women's reproductive health literature is still relevant to you because transmen and women are the same organisms biologically. Example: You can give a mare testosterone all day, but she's still not a stallion and if she's pregnant, issues relating to how to care for her and her unborn foal's health would still be found under "Pregnant Mare Care" in veterinary literature. The word "woman" just denotes an age group just like "girl" (female human child). Going back to horses, a female young horse is called a filly. The only requirement to be a woman is to have XX chromosomes a uterus, ovaries, and ova. How you present doesn't matter. You can present masculine, feminine, or somewhere in-between. That's not what defines you as a woman. Your age group and biology do.
@@vegetaismydad5382 Trans people aren’t horses, though…..? Also, gender and sex are different things. Sex is psychical- you can be assigned as male, female, or intersex. Gender is fluid- you can be cisgender or transgender.
@@alexva58 No. Humans are also animals. Primates. There are male humans and female humans. Males can be feminine. Females can be masculine. They are still male and female, though. Biological sex is immutable and cannot be changed. How you present that biological sex as an individual, however, can be changed. I'm a female who presents masculine. You used to know us as tomboys. 😒
@@alexva58humans are animals and as part of the animal kingdom there are female and male animals. In rare cases there are animals/humans that are both sexes naturally. The example of the horse in veterinary care is to illustrate that scientific and medical literature is based on the chromosomal and biological make up of the animal, plus the age for the language women vs girls or men vs boys. Humans are animals, so the scientific and medical language follow the same rules in all medical fields.
i'm glad that more trans people are talking about their journeys as parents! i enjoy hearing them as i'm planning to be a trans parent one day and it's a bit scary
Me too, I'm a trans guy and would to have my own family. I think I would like to be pregnant, I'm not as dysphoric as some people. Assuming the pregnancy wasn't horrible like some people's lol
@@connorcollins8629 yeah exactly, i like watching these videos to be prepared if anything like this ever happens to me lol, i wish you luck and courage in the future and hope you have the chance to have a planned pregnancy if u ever want to:)
@@connorcollins8629Yeah same! Like it's such a cool thing to be able to literally build a human from scratch! If my girlfriend (she's trans) wanted to have kids one day (we're still early in our relationship lol), I'd more than likely be down to be pregnant! Like how cool is that? and I'd get to call myself a seahorse dad!
I love that you say, “assumed to be their gender at birth” and “the gender someone thought they would be”. Most in healthcare I’ve spoke to say “born as a boy/girl”. The language we use is so important!
@@bluecannibaleyes I think you are mistaking gender for sex. These are two different things. Sex is biological. The part that is assumed is that the individual will grow up to be the gender they are assigned before birth. Also, from my understanding, trans and non-binary individuals refer to their birth sex (since this can be changed) as “assigned female/male at birth” or “AFAB/AMAB” for this reason. If you are confused on the science part of transitioning, there are some really interesting studies out there. It goes far beyond just “feelings”.
I'm not trans but I have always noticed and really appreciated your inclusive language throughout your videos. I'm sure it means everything to some people. 💜
Pride month. One of my high school friends and her wife just adopted a little boy. I was so happy for this boy and his two moms who will love him unconditionally.
Thank you for explaining more how you use inclusive language. I’ll be honest, I have struggled with the term “birthing person” but feel a little better with your explanation. My struggle was that I am totally fine to call someone a birthing person if they would like, but I personally am a female who identifies as a woman and I am a mother. I don’t know why I was struggling with it so much, but I am trying to learn more about the trans community and trying to understand better. So thank you again MDJ for being inclusive and educational, will always love your channel
The family that made rude comments to them can go take a hike. They are the CUTEST little family and there is no reason anyone should be making comments about other people like that. We really need to grow as a culture so people can feel safe expressing themselves. I am shocked I didn't see this video when it came out, I must've been without internet at the time, but seeing this makes me so happy. One of my best friends is a transman that carried a baby and he talks about kids and how much he loves his daughter all the time.
As a trans man who just had a baby, I want to thank you for this video. Thank you for being so supportive. My little girl was planned and expected. My husband and family were and are great and nothing but loving and caring. I do wish the maternity ward wasn't quite so... Girl Power everywhere. I never felt comfortable going in there. I hated when the nurses would talk to me about "women's bodies". It didn't feel like I was really welcome there. I hope in the future, they're more inclusive of everyone.
I had the realization I was non-binary WHILE I was pregnant. That was... a trip. I feel so bad for them both having to worry that their kid will be judged just because they're not cis. Their baby is adorable, and I wish the absolute best for them.
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
The love this couple has for their kid is quite trans-parent
Welcome to the dorky joke club, would you like to apply as VP? 😆
@@MamaDoctorJones maybe you should have an MDJ Corn Club. ;) who wouldn't want to join that??
@@MamaDoctorJones if MyCheeze doesn’t respond can I take the position? 😂
@@internetchocolate6733 if mycheez doesn’t answer then they are cut. #cutthecheese
I’ll let myself out.. 😆
@@MamaDoctorJones
JOKE INCOMING
A woman in labour suddenly SHOUTED "Couldn't! Shouldn't! Can't!"
*The doctor said "Don't worry, those are just contractions!"*
haha how considerate of the baby to not make their dad dysphoric through the pregnancy by being so sneaky
Right?! I feel like he could run with that joke for the rest of his life.
"Can I have a candy bar?"
"No, put it back."
"But I didn't even bother you for 9 months!"
"Fine."
😂
This is such a great point lol
RIGHT??!
Like. "Ok Dad! I'll just let you not get self-conscious about it. See ya in a few months!"
🤣
A little easier to Dad afterwards, too, probably, because you didn't get super misgendered during. Though, the well visits sound like they make up for that.
Sooo they have a super secret ninja baby right on 😎
27 years ago my daughter was breech with her foot coming out first with the cord under her foot (ultimately she was born by c-section) and this is the first time I've ever heard the term footling breech and I'm a little mad that I could've been calling her footling all these years but I didn't know.
My daughter and I have decided that you are our people.
It’s not too late 😂
We do the best we can with the information that we have :D
That’s SO FUNNY.
Hahaha, love it!
Thank you for being here! Happy Pride Month! We donated to Trans Life Line this month, check them out if you are trans and need someone to talk to or if you’d like to donate! translifeline.org/hotline/
👏👏👏👏🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
Thank you for doing this video and being super inclusive!!! I love it!!!
Thank you for being an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community! ❤️
I appreciated your clarification about the term birthing person/people. To me, it felt minimizing to women, but I appreciate that women who are pregnant will still be referred to as a woman and mother. I also can appreciate the need to be inclusive of trans men. There's no need to add to their trauma.
thank you. You are an amazing ally and advocate 🏳️🌈
I've said it before, but again, your inclusive language makes this such a welcoming and safe channel. I'm a trans nonbinary subscriber and it's so wonderful that you make an effort that your educational content is relevant to everyone, and also that you help educate potential allies about trans people.
May I ask what is trans non-binary? I know what both are just haven’t heard of it together, so I’m confused lol.
@@CynthiaBrooke96 Nonbinary means one doesn't identify as either male or female, and trans means they don't identify with their assigned gender. "Trans nonbinary" is a bit redundant, because nonbinary IS inherently trans.
absolutely correct, nonbinary ppl are trans, by pure definition. having said that though, i *do* have some nonbinary friends who don't consider themselves trans, even though they agree with those definitions and the overall statement.
identity labels are a kind of weird and tenuous thing, and they're so individual. so if someone feels the need to clarify that they are both nonbinary _and_ trans, i think that's fine 🤷🏻
Agreed!
same here!! ever since I found this channel I've ADORED the inclusive language used. I'm agender and on T so if I got pregnant it would not only send me into massive depression, anxiety and dysphoria, it would also hurt to be referred to as a "pregnant woman" or "mother". going to have breast exams before getting cleared for T and having to go to the "Women's Health" wing sucked majorly.
From an 8 month pregnant trans guy: thank you for posting this video, and your videos generally. I really appreciate it. It's nice to see cis people in your comments learning about this situation, and your videos about this process are the only ones I've been able to get myself to watch. It's tough to learn about what to expect in childbirth when most of the videos are saying "pregnant women pregnant women pregnant women..." :)
Anyway, you're great, this is great, thank you!
Wow, that must be intense!
Best wishes for you and your newborn 💜
well you hear that term: "pregnant woman" because trans men are only having children like this few last years. Pregnant woman have been for ever. Exactly how many trans guy have babies? hundreds? that is a minority minority. So, is going to take a while for every doctor and every person in the world to give into the inclusive language. That is just the truth.
@@ZairaBandy ? they never said they wanted/expected everyone to be using inclusive language. as you said, there's just never going to be a situation where everyone is going to be inclusive (unfortunately). they were just expressing that they are grateful for the fact that a doctor with such a large veiwing is making such an effort. why the need for negativity in such a heartwarming comment :/
Zaira Bandy I guarantee you trans men have been having babies just about as long as women have been. Because trans people have existed as long as there have been gender norms.
I love learning more about Trans men and women and what they go through. Understanding more about them helps me care for them better in the ER and to be able to educate my coworkers.
Thank you for caring about us and helping make the healthcare field more welcoming ❤️
@@davidsantiagotate7380 Seconded!
@@davidsantiagotate7380 I want to be the best caregiver I can be for people who don't usually get the right care. I want to understand and know.
I don't personally understand it, my head can't wrap around the idea. However, I choose not to judge and get info and talk about it with the ones I come across to see their point of view and where they are coming from. I totally agree. You need to know more to give them the best care. Everyone deserves the best care. I hope to always make everyone more comfortable in anyway possible because we all need different things for that to happen. I always applaud those who try to understand more as well!!
I recommend checking out WPATH.
One thing that confused about when I started looking at pregnancy forums was the large amount of people saying they were FTM not realising they meant first time mum not female to male.
Yeah, It's weird that those terms happen to be the same shortened 😅 guess Context is needed
🤣🤣🤣
I also didnt know that could mean first time mom. This is the first time I hear about it.
@@laartje24 Same here!
That throws me off every. single. time.
I end up having to read comments before it clicks that they meant “first time mom”, so I have to go re-read everything to get the context right.
As a trans-man who's been pregnant before, I was terrified of going to a doctor because in my experience and all of my trans friends' experiences many doctors (especially OBGYNs) tend not to treat you as you identify. I had a miscarriage around 2-3 months, it took over a year to even tell anyone about being pregnant let alone having a miscarriage. I also get harshly judged if I tell doctors I'm not 100% against carrying a child as a man(even at inclusive health centers!) Watching your videos makes me have hope for trans/gender-nonconforming individuals getting the proper medical attention and treatment they deserve! I just found your channel and love how you always keep things gender-neutral when talking about things like pregnancy risks! Thank you
Hey. Cis gay guy here. I''m sad to hear about your experiences. I don't know if you'll read this but I you are interested in sharing, I'm sure I'm not the only one who would like to know how that "harsh judgement" of you when you tell medical professionals about your choice gets expressed. Are they concerned about hormone levels or something medical? (In which case, they would do better to come us with a plan around any potential issues.) Or is it something else? Given the training of MDs and the kind of personalities a specialization like OBGYN tends to draw, none of us would expect doctors in OBGYN to judge you for your reproductive choices, right? Just wondering if its shock, implicit bias, explicit bias or lack of clinical experience working with pregnant trans-men.
Doctors go by your sex not how you identify.
@@kimmmwest4641 but like identity wise I thought they could use preferred pronouns and inclusive language etc, even if medical language is used
@@berchiezs why ? Men can't get pregnant... nobody has to go along with these peoples delusions and fantasis
@@berchiezs Could and should! They can respect your gender while also medically being cognizant of your sex characteristics.
If I were a kindergarten kid and heard my friend was birthed by his dad I’d be like “like a seahorse? That’s so cool!”
I hope that’s the reaction he’ll get.
as a non-binary ftm who will never have kids myself: that is ADORABLE.
Fun fact: All clownfish are born male and they can change their sex into female. This is decided if the dominant clownfish dies. The dominant clownfish is female. Females are dominant in clownfish. So the larger, dominant male will take her place and become the female clownfish to dominant the rest. Which are all males because clownfish are social animals and live in groups.
This has nothing to do with seahorses. But since they are sea animals. I decided to share fact about another sea animal
Ikr? Tbh I’d probably say that too if I were a kindergartner. Heck even as an adult I’d probably still say it in the right circumstances.
i would probably just be really confused and ask them how that works. and after being explained i'd go hm interesting i suppose that's pretty cool
Ok that so would have been me as a kid😂😂
This is kind of unrelated, but I was raised by two moms starting around when I was 11. I live in Utah and I was terrified of anyone finding out, only my closest friends knew and it was treated as something shameful by both myself and them. When I moved to a new, rural town at 15 I decided I was done with it, so when the first friend that came to my house asked who was in the pictures on the fridge I just told them. I still had to deal with some homophobia and some friends telling me “I love your parents but I just don’t agree with their lifestyle” 🙄 but I realized because I wasn’t ashamed of my amazing parents most people didn’t care. I know that transphobia is more common than homophobia but I truly hope this baby is never ashamed of his parents because it really does take an emotional toll.
My mom is lesbian and I had similar situation. She’s raised me as a single mom and being in relationships occasionally only like twice. I always feared for our safety if a random person knew.
Was bad enough that my family shunned us.
I’m glad things are becoming more accepting now.
As a side note, I once walked in to the break room at my job when I was 18 when a 40 year old man who was in the same training class as me was explaining how kids raised by gay parents just didn’t turn out okay. I said I thought me and my sisters turned out fine and he shut up. I think a lot of people have no problem being bigots until they’re confronted by actual people. He was fired a couple weeks after for not keeping up with the training and I have since moved up in the company.
I hope that my aunts do well, they are raising their kids, and I hope that the kids friends when they get older are understanding, and okay with it, I love my Aunts and they’re wonderful mothers. I feel like more and more people, like the kids nowadays are a bit more okay with LGBTQ+ community.
My sister has 4 kids with her wife (her wife was AMAB) and i worry about this all the time. My oldest nephew is 13 and his little sister turns 12 in July (also amab), and the two youngest are 2 and 4.
They are very much not a traditional family. My sister doesn't consider herself a lesbian but still loves and supports her wife and daughter to be authentic to themselves.
They are also from Utah and moved to the east coast which is when my sisters wife started her transition. They'll be moving back west in August to the coast and I'll get to see all six of them soon.
They've had a lot of lesbophobic and transphobic hate thrown at them where they are, including disgusting graffiti twice now. Really makes you sad that people can't open their hearts to love others as they are.
@@feliciaann721 I'm sorry you had to deal with that homophobia. Sincerely, a fellow utahn.
As a trans man your inclusive language has always made me feel very comfortable watching your videos! It makes me feel welcome
I hope you're doing well!
Trans men are women
@@derekb4977 the literally thousands of years of trans history disagree with you, you science denying madman
@@rattiesunderstars no you brainwashed homophobic fetishes cult, that's a lie, men cannot get pregnant and LGB without the T is trending we won't put up with this sick homophobic cult.
@@derekb4977 did it help?
I was nervous to read the comments on this video....SO glad I didn't have to feel that way! I didn't read them all, but every single one I read was so positive and supportive! Thank you SO much for posting this and educating people on such an important topic.
SAME!!! I was terrified to check the comment section. Glad to see so many human beings remembering they're human.
MDJ has mentioned in another video about having a lot of filters setup to catch things like transphobic comments so that they never even get posted where viewers can see them.
So true, it's incredibly refreshing
@YaguarRosado... it’s not an issue of fragility. Trans people are constantly dehumanised, killed and beat down in our society. Every video about them gets flooded with hate, so it’s understandable this person may not want to experience that
@@user-ry1yf5sm8q That doesnt prove they're "constantly killed" (numbers/source?) for being trans. You can denounce threats and aggression against anyone and be consistent instead of naively supporting an entire category as if none of the individuals in the group are also capable of being violent.
I’m a queer woman currently pregnant with my first baby. I know of trans men in my community who are or were recently pregnant and use the term “gestational father.” I love that!
Wishing you all the best w/ your pregnancy & your soon-to-be little one!♥️
I learned the term "seahorse dad" in these comments today and I love it
@@stefh1183 same!!
@@stefh1183 that is my dream. Making my cis bf carry the babies he wants and be a great seahorse dad because I have tokophobia through the roof but everyone just assumes I have to go through this. I wish pregnancy wasn’t still this barbaric. For 2021 I def hoped we would have like baby incubators or so by now.
@@stefh1183 seahorse dad sounds really cute ngl
Thank you so much for posting this video. As a mid-life aged, cis woman I will admit I have never before considered a man (or other non-female identifying gender) may be in a gynaecological waiting area/room other than to be present in a support role of their partner. This was very ignorant of me. I am happy to have learnt a new awareness I need to have so I can do my bit to ensure all people and families feel they can be free and open to their authentic selves in any environment I may be part of at any moment in time.
You are a beautiful person. Just, thank you for being someone so open minded and willing to learn more. There are so many people out there who very much aren't, and as someone trans myself, even if I may never be in a waiting room myself unless absolute emergency and there is no choice in the matter, just, just know that your comment here and your kindness and willingness to be empathetic and learn and such, it's so greatly appreciated.
As a person not identifying as a women, who most likely will give birth some time, I can't express how much this comment meant. I wish more people were as open and willing to learn as you are.
This is beautiful! I love it when people are open to listen and learn!
I hope more people in the world adopt this view. Thank you so much for being accepting of new knowledge, and embracing it 💙🫂💙
I really truly appreciate your comment. I know you probably won’t see it because it’s been a long time since you made the comment. But I just really appreciate it. I am a trans man and whenever I am in the waiting room to see my GYN I just assume every woman there thinks I’m there as support for someone else. It honestly makes me feel less dysphoric. And luckily I’ve never received any bad looks or spoken judgments from anyone at my GYNs office.
In many native cultures queer folk are referred to as having two spirits,
Masculine and Feminine in one body.
These people are sacred.
It makes me happy to see such a beautiful family. This child is loved.
Props to dad for an amazing delivery.
Yes I've heard of that and similar in other cultures. I always wonder if people were educated in things like this they'd be less stubborn and bigoted.
@@nunpho Somewhat yes but heres the thing... Facts dont move ppl, stories move ppl.
The huge shift towards acceptance for gay marriage in USA came about not bcuz of sharin facts about bein gay, but by sharin the personal stories of gay ppl who want more than anythin to have their relationship with this person they love recognised. Those stories are what caused a shift from 40% approval to over 85% approval of gay marriage over the course of barely a decade.
The more ppl see others out and about and existin openly and tellin their stories and talkin about their experiences and how bigotry impacts them; the more we see acceptance grow.
Theres a grt Harvey Milk speech on this topic but the main part that rly speaks to me, even across this ocean of time as he said this in 1978
"I’m tired of their myths. I’m tired of their distortions. I’m speaking out about it.
Gay brothers and sisters, what are you going to do about it? You must come out. Come out to your parents. I know that it is hard and that it will hurt them, but think of how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives. I know that it is hard and will upset them but think of how they will upset you in the voting booth. Come out to your friends. If indeed, they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors, to your co-workers, to the people who work where you eat and shop. Come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions.
For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are being terrified by the votes coming from Dade County to Eugene."
Its just as much true for trans ppl today as it was when he said it to all of us in 1978. The only way for civil rights to progress is to show the world the truth with stories, not with facts; facts dont matter usually, but stories do.
I'm nonbinary and pregnant, and MDJ makes me feel so accepted. This video helps me feel represented, and assuages some of my fears surrounding my son having trans parents
Good luck! I'm sure you'll be a great parent!
You will be ab ALAZONG parent I know it!
ooo good luck with your pregnancy! or if your baby is already born, congrats!
So happy for you!
As a nonbinary person who may one day want to become a parent, I loved reading this and totally agree
I had a baby last year and during the "process" it really stood out to me how like all the paperwork is singularly addressed to women. I'm a woman, so that was fine for me, but I kept thinking about how uninclusive this must feel for non-woman having a baby.
You mean like young girls.... I'm sure they don't mind.
@@kimmmwest4641 No, they mean like men and non-binary people. You seem to be making a lot of comments like this, I'm starting to wonder if you maybe have too much time on your hands lol
@@MoonGalleon22 There are no men who have babies because men do not have female reproductive organs. To be a man one must be a male in the adult stage of life and belong to the species human. The same requirement applies to other species. To be a stallion, it must be a male in the adult stage of life and belong to the species equus ferus (horse). That is all.
I'm a trans man, and personally I'd never carry a child but I'd like to have children. I wish there was more safe places for us to go for these kinds of specific Healthcare, and I wish there was less stigma around it.
I hope you find a welcoming healthcare experience ♡
My son is 30 and trans. He has had a difficult time finding a primary care doctor. I know you can find a good one! Sending you love, hugs, and lots of confidence so that you can find your perfect physician!
Sperm donors are always a thing, and the amount of research into creating sperm producing tissue from XX stem cells is encouraging too. Good luck!
@@tealkerberus748 I plan to adopt if I do ever have children, I don't want to create new life when there are so many who have been left behind
@@neztanizaki2346 Very valid. Kudos.
Looks like a traditional family to me, mum, dad, and bubs. What does it matter who gave birth to the baby, so long as the baby is loved and looked after? Doesn't make dad any less of a man, or mum any less of a woman. Not everyone needs to know they're trans, that's nobody's business but theirs. Anyway, they look like a beautiful family and they're doing very well, and that's the only thing that matters ❤
Also, people are going to look at you strange and say dumb things no matter what! Just don't let it get to you. My youngest son was born with a club foot, he had to wear a cast from the time he was 3 weeks old, and surgery at 3 months. I got the dagger stares from lots of people, one lady even asked me what the hell I did to my baby! I couldn't believe it! I just smiled and said, my voice shaking with the restraint of crying, he'd just had surgery for club foot, and it was very stressful for both of us, thank you for assuming that I abused my baby, and walked away, leaving her with her jaw dropped going oh, oh, oh... honestly, small minds are not your problem, they're their own problem!
Oh man, so sorry you had to deal with that kind of encounter, especially while still trying to process the stress of seeing your much-loved child go through surgery and recovery?! 🥺 (It's often a necessary process but never an easy one, particularly with children that young who can't understand what's going on!)
So sad to see how people like that woman feel they need to assert their assumptions about someone else's life, without even fact-checking first... Just why? 🥺
Really hope your son recovered well folllowing from his surgery and is living a happy confident life regardless!
Yes--I'm not as educated about transgender issues as I would like to be, but this family "looks" like a "traditional" family (mom, dad, and baby). Had I not known (been told) the two parents were a transgender man and a transgender woman, I would have had no idea. But even if the parents don't "look" like the "traditional" family, if they have a loving family, I simply can't find it within myself to think they are somehow "wrong" or "bad". When is real love ever "wrong" or "bad"?
I think the point of the video is that *visibility* *matters*, so it's not exactly just their own "business", it's important to show people that all families and humans are different and valid. They are not "a traditional family" in the meaning that society still gives to this concept, and that's the true point..it's *good* that they're different, we don't have to 'normalize' their difference, but recognize it and uplift all the different families and people. :)
@@anna_in_aotearoa3166 thank you so much. Yes, we're very lucky the surgery was a great success!
@@janhankins911 absolutely! Love is love! It makes zero difference what gender the parents are, all that matters is the love they have for their kid/s. And these two clearly have an abundance of love for their wee bubby ❤
I swear babies are determined to look exactly like the parent who didn't birth them. That baby is the spitting image of his mom.😂
As a trans person in a country where transgender people are made infertile, this video made me cry for so many reasons. God bless their little family.
oh god thats so scary. im wishing you and all the other trans people in your country the best, and i hope change comes soon
If the world treated refugees a bit less genocidally, I'd be suggesting applying for asylum. I'm pretty certain living under a government that wants to sterilise you is grounds.
If you can get out on any other type of visa, please do. You deserve to be free to live your own life - and to form a family, if that's what you want.
@@tealkerberus748
@@tealkerberus748 I agree with you. but how is that genocide. these people are neither a nation or ethnic group
@@Tr4sh_can34 Refugees generally do belong to one or another specific ethnic group, but if we're talking about transgender folk, they also do have a clearly identifiable culture and community.
I wait for that cheesy joke every month, love your content MDJ
I love it too!
Me three!
I'm just so happy that it didn't line up with the *period two days late holy crap am I pregnant?!?!?* time of the month this time
Thank you for being so supportive of the trans community. I'm a trans man married to a cis man and I carried our twins. The hospital I went through for my care always used correct pronouns for me (University of Rochester Medical Center). Having medical professionals that support us is so important.
There is no such thing as a pregnant man or a non binary person. And if you can get pregnant then you’re 100% a female. There is zero science to non binary people and self ideantify does not equal reality and facts. Why are you people so obsessed with feeling accepted? Why cant you just live your life like a normal human being🤦🏼. And stop saying cis when you’re Talking about normal men and women
A male not cis anything honey
@@NourKLI Thank you!🙌🏻
@@studentstudent5044 i never got why trans people had to use trans when they're talking about themselves to others, generally. maels are males, females are females, nb are nb, queer are queer
@@NourKLImale refers to biological sex it tells you nothing about the person’s gender. So, his original description provides more information.
To be quite FRANK, the fact that he gave birth BREECH, alone, and now has the confidence to come out in this turmoil is amazing. Hats off to them. (My attempt at a joke is a failure.) but in all seriousness my respect goes out to them.
Women do it everyday....all over the world.🤷🏽♀️
@@pinwheelart2825 no, women don't give vaginal birth to a footling breech baby every day. That's super super rare.
@@tabithahiggins5075 ALONE, I would like to add.
@@pinwheelart2825 dude. It’s dangerous for everyone. And most women don’t give birth alone
i don't get the joke...
I didn't realize footling breech was so dangerous. My twins were both footling breech and I delivered via c section under general anesthesia at 29 weeks due to PPROM, cord prolapse of baby A, and their footling breech presentation 🙃
Yes, my month got a C-section at 28 weeks with twins too for the same reason.
My daughter (a singleton) was also footling breech. There wasn’t any real presenting of an option like “we can try to deliver vaginally”, like they can do for other breech babies, it was just “your baby is footling breech, you need a cesarean”. And so I did.
That sounds like a horrible experience, I hope you and your little ones are all okay
@@tristandohnel4283 it wasn't at all what I had planned for! We stayed 84 days in the NICU during the height of the pandemic but they are happy, healthy, and thriving 15 month olds now! ❤️❤️
@@katherinemorelle7115 me too, not even given the option to deliver naturally. And I went to term, so it was an emergency section after my waters broke.
Thank you for covering this topic and always using neutral language the way you do! As a nonbinary person on hormones, it's always welcoming to hear people (but especially doctors) use terms like "people with vulvas" or "people who menstruate", helps me feel more normal and humanized.
We had a surprise pregnancy at my house last year. I just turned 19 for reference. My mom found out she was pregnant when she was about 15 weeks along. My parents tried for years when I was younger but they eventually gave up because my mom has PCOS. It's a miracle me and my sister happened but in December 2020 we got blessed with a healthy baby boy. It's honestly the best thing that probably could of happened to us. He's the best baby we could've asked for. He's so happy all the time and he lights up a room.
Congrats on the exciting addition to your family!♥️
Congrats! So did you get a brother or did you or your sister have a child? It's a bit confusing 😅 thanks
@@millacabral9475 it's my brother.
@@Mel-pb5xw Thank you 😊
daww congrats that's such a sweet story
as a non-binary person with the uterus, I greatly appreciate you MDJ. I am planning on possibly having a baby in the next couple of years and I have great anxiety about finding a healthcare provider that will be accommodating of my pronouns, chosen name, and not discriminating against me as I know so many trans individuals have experienced. 🏳️🌈✨
I hope that you find someone and have a great experience. You are going to be a great parent 👍🏻
that's awesome! i wish you a safe and inclusive pregnancy.
I think you will. I don't know where you live. Now, in NYC when you go to the dr they ask for your prefered pronouns, gender identification, and birth gender. I know the word gender might be a little inappropriated, but I think it's progress. So, I am positive that other states will follow (I am assuming that you're in Texas for your user name)
I wish you luck finding someone. Sucks that people can't just accept something as basic as proper pronouns. I bet there are some super cute gender neutral names for parents.
@@emily-gj1oj that is not true. gender is different from what parts you have or what you were assigned at birth. and while I hope Texaslife43 will not be affected by a random person on the internet what you said is really hurtful. please be considerate to other people and do research before spreading false and harmful information. and if you can't do that then just shut up. Thanks!!
As a trans-man I just gotta say: your inclusive language and just all-around respect you give to _everybody_ is so heartwarming! ❤ Great content also, please keep it up, you're a wonderful woman, doctor and mother
As a non-binary person planning on becoming pregnant, I was hoping and manifesting that you would do a video on a pregnant trans person before the end of June. So glad it worked! 🙌🏻
Good luck! I bet you will be an amazing parent!
Good luck
@@debblouin ....you do know that it is proven that gender is not binary, right? Science disagrees with what you said. Only sperm and egg can create a baby but people who have it aren't always male or female.
th-cam.com/video/MitqjSYtwrQ/w-d-xo.html
@@debblouin Gender and sex are mutually exclusive. Being non-binary is a gender identity, and doesn't necessarily dictate a person's feelings about or their use of their reproductive organs. That being the case, there are various ways for non-binary people to become pregnant, whether they do so themselves or with the assistance of a surrogate-their options are literally the same as everyone else's.
Really hope everything goes well, and I bet you will be an amazing parent 💜💛
They look like fantastic parents. No one should be judged in our day. Everyone is different in their own way. GORGEOUS baby. ❤❤
my brain completely skipped the 3rd line so i just read "Everyone is baby. ❤❤" and went ??? everyone is baby¿ hol up lemme read that again-
This comment section is surprisingly lovely, especially compared to the original video's comment section
It's nice to see people being positive and supportive for once :)
I'm so sick of transphobes saying transphibia doesn't affect trans people. It makes me want to cry when I see these idiots. And I'm using the word idiots because they are being willing fully ignorant and refusing to respect trans people
I wonder if Doctor Jones monitors her comments sections carefully.
@DFW DFW I think she does. I haven't read a single negative comment here, either as OP or a reply. Sadly, there's almost no chance that no one left a rude comment, because for some reason people feel the need to be hateful. So she must really monitor her comment section and immediately delete anything hateful. And kudos to her, that would take a lot of time. It's great that she does it though, makes it feel a lot more positive and heartwarming
3:14
Me: agreed, the baby is super adorable and their love story is so sweet
I really like how this couple demonstrates that one can realize they're trans (and/or bi, lesbian, gay, etc.) either early in life, or a bit later...or even much later. There's no one-size-fits all experience.
Also, how many times on this show has some poor soul sat down for what seems to be a stressful BM only to end up having a baby come out?!
I had the worst experience outside of Covid or Norovirus the other day and I was like "OMG what if I'm actually having a baby?!?" I thought about this channel 😂😂 I knew it literally wasn't possible but I thought about this
Yeah, my best friend didn't realize she was gay until she was 35. She'd even been adament that she was straight in the face of a ton of rumors for 20 years before that. (The rumor mill also had me pegged as a lesbian when I'm definitely hetero, so a bit unreliable that.)
As a trans guy with a cis boyfriend, this is one of my biggest fears that I just won't know until it happens and like.. then what? We're childfree and we can't backstep if that happens and I don't think I'd want to subject a kid to the strain of fosters and adoptions but I know I wouldn't want them. It's a lot to think about.
That’s wonderful that you are going through the thought process. That’s a good first step. Is a non-hormonal IUD an option? Those last for up to 10 years. You’ll have peace of mind for a while.
From what I've heard, at least in my country, adoptions of babies are typically fairly easy and straightforward. A lot of people want to adopt babies. And since so many people want to adopt babies, typically the families are very well vetted and the kids get to grow up in quite nice, stable families. If you want to, you might even get to pick a family (If it happened to me, I'd probably choose to give the baby to a gay or lesbian couple).
I'm trans too and have been on testosterone for 5 years or so. If you're taking testosterone, I wouldn't recommend using contraceptive options with hormones, as I've tried the Nexplanon arm implant which releases progesterone, and it progressed my vaginal atrophy faster while increasing the dryness I already have. (The vaginal atrophy is coming from the testosterone's induced menopause and decreased estrogen levels).
Some trans men on hormones have reported that they weren't able to do the IUD option because of their uterine atrophy and shrinkage, which made the implant painful.
Other options can be condoms, a diaphragm or cervical cap with spermicide (chemical), contraceptive gel (Phexxi, effects pH), and the Today sponge (contains spermicide).
Maybe you can discuss your boyfriend getting a vasectomy if you two are both sure you’d like to remain childfree?
as a cis woman who has had a tubal ligation, I can really recommend vasectomy.
We actually did both, just to be sure, & have never regretted it. No contraception is 100%, if you're sure you don't want kids, (good for you, don't let anyone pressure you either way) then doubling down sure gives peace of mind.
I'm a trans guy and seeing both this couple living their lives and you being inclusive is so heartwarming to me. Thanks for this
Hi MDJ,
Thank you for this episode. Even though I might quibble a bit on your specific terminology in explaining, this representation is extremely important for me as trans man who is trying to conceive. I am already experiencing barriers and uphill battles and I hope that one day people like me won't be treated like dirt or expected to educate our own healthcare professionals.
Good luck, I really hope that you do conceive and deliver a healthy happy baby!
Oh Honey baby, it's going to be alright. One day at a time. Your family is already amazing.
Mad respect for you, future dad!
Good luck
This old married lady loves babies and is rooting for you!!! Positive vibes from New Hampshire and remember to be kind to each other and yourself
i just love how open minded you are. i'm not even transgender. more people should be as accepting and kind as you
Yeah so opened minded your brain falls out.
@@skylarshrewsbury6027 Oh no, I need to find my brain. I respected people and it fell out lol.
As a cisgender straight white woman, I am aware that I am inherently ignorant about a lot of these issues because I have never and will never experience them. But I always try to learn and minimise my ignorance and, while this is not the reason why I subscribed, I really appreciate how much you've taught me on this topic.
@Qeaupid Aulympia thanks for the correction! 😅
This comment in particular is so kind and sweet, honestly made me so happy to read :``)
When the baby was moving or kicking inside he probably was thinking ''damn, that food is not settling well''
depending on the position, he may not have felt it at all
i was reading an article where someone didn't know she was pregnant until 3 weeks before birth, and when she went in to get examined, one of the doctors changed the position of the baby. only then did she start showing and then actually feeling the baby move
@@CakeofRage I was making a joke. I am aware, I didn't feel mine kick for a long time either.
@@kropka8259 oh, oops lol 😳
Im gender fluid and pregnant right now. Im 18 weeks and love my baby soo much! I couldnt imagine my life without this small person growing inside me.
But sometimes I have dysphoria and get super depressed. I wish that i could give my baby to my hubby so he can take over for a day or 2. Those days i take care of my needs more. I make sure i eat extra healthy and that i go for a walk. It helps alot. It can be a bit scary to have a switch and feel wrong in my body. I just keep going and know that this is gonna be wonderful in the end. (Not the labor part but the baby being here). I cant wait to meet this little one and hope im doing everything i can to keep it healthy.
Also anyone else that goes through this. Its ok to feel weird when you are male with baby growing inside you. But remember you are doing a great job of caring for them when you care for yourself. Lots of love and hope you get through this with ease.
they're just living their life they're not hurting anyone unfortunately alot of ppl will view it as the fact that their hurting their own child by bringing them into a non traditional family and honestly i think it's the exact opposite i think it's such a blessing and that this child can now have a more open view of the world and not have a strict family view and i love that there shouldn't be a traditional family view at all love is love no matter how it happens or comes together
On the topic of non-traditional families: I'm adopted from China, and my parents are white. People eat that stuff up - they think it's adorable to see a little Chinese baby with white parents. They see it very much as these white parents "saving" this poor non-white child, sometimes. Other times, they believe that the solution to racism is adoption stories like mine. Of course, parents who embrace adoptive children of another ethnicity (and educate themselves properly) can often help in the fight against racism by being educators. Sometimes they really are providing a better life for that child than that child could have ever had in their previous circumstances. That said, why do people blindly indulge in the fairytale adoption stories of parents, often white, from rich countries, adopting from poorer countries, but hate so much on other nontraditional families?
There was a time when this child would have been taken away from them. We have to make sure we NEVER go back there.
@@zb7293 No. Not at all. Please do some research and open your heart just a tiny little bit to people who aren't like you. They aren't harming their child and awareness does not create more trans people - it just gives them the ability to openly be themselves. Seriously - please do some actual research and listen to trans peoples' stories and experiences. Being LGBTQ+ is not contagious - I promise.
@@zb7293 educate yourself
I totally agree!
I'm astounded by your inclusivity and your heart. It sounds so FLUID how you speak of each and every one of us, as a whole.
MORE DOCTORS SHOULD BE LIKE YOU! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
You don’t know how relieved I was to discover you were trans/lgbtq+ friendly 💗
as a two spirit asexual person having a baby any day now, the inclusive language is extremely welcoming. to a colonized view my bi boyfriend and our baby and i aren't a "traditional" family, but in our cultures we are very much traditional (and revered by our communities)! if anyone has an issue with "non-traditional" couples and families and they live on turtle island (north america), they need to seriously evaluate themselves and the source of their culturally insensitive belief. you're on our stolen land, and free love has always been the way of the land here. even if i don't consider myself to be lgbtqia+, the community will always be considered traditional and welcome here, by our creator's design.
I saw a documentary about a two spirit doctor up west of Canada(or maybe even the territories) that was giving an understanding health care to the lgtbq+ community up there.
And this is why I roll with First Nations' people more than white Christians. You guys are so much more accepting and kind.
what a powerful statement
Congrats on your baby :)
@@guylainedoironrmt7510 Do you by any chance remember what the name of that documentary was? I moved to Canada a couple of years ago & I still have a lot to learn
I'm trans and seeing trans parents makes me hopeful that I one day can have kids.
Wishing you the best of all you hope for!
You can do whatever you want to! You got this! ❤️
aw you guys are so sweet :)
I hope the best for you, but I’m sad people won’t get to see you anymore when you’re trans-parent (sorry for the stupid pun I’ll leave now)
Sending you lots of luck! ❤
Dad tearing up just talking about his experience made me tear up too. Obviously, they wouldn’t trade their little one for anything, and they are such a sweet little family.
Are we ever gonna get merch saying “take a pregnancy test”
I love how she makes the "it's that time of the month, but not that other time of the month that everyone hates" joke every time she does these videos and it never gets old XDD.
Is this a monthly series ? I would assume so but am not sure ?
@@agathecourpied8798 yea I'm pretty sure it is
This video purified my water supply, watered my crops and delivered good health and prosperity upon my house.
Genuinely curious does the dad being on hormones while pregnant have any affect on baby? In a planned pregnancy with a trans man is there typically an adjustment to which medication is taken?
that's such a good question!!!
I know testosterone reduces one's chances of getting pregnant, and it's recommended to go off T if you plan to get pregnant, but that's all I know
The person giving birth being on T can harm a fetus, most trans men or other trans afab people will go off of their hormones if they're planning in intentionally becoming pregnant to avoid risks
A trans man is told to not take testosterone during the entire pregnancy for two reasons:
1. It causes the uterus to atrophy over time (which is really bad anyways, but during pregnancy is especially dangerous)
2. Higher than normal rates of testosterone are linked to low feotal birth weight and metabolic disorders. I can't imagine what actual testosterone pills/shots would be doing but we just don't have enough info on it yet.
It probably does but there's not enough research and like no one's willing to risk it so it's generally recommended that you go off hormones if it's an intentional pregnancy or if it's an accidental pregnancy and you realize before you give birth and choose to continue with the pregnancy.
We love a trans ally! Thank you Mama Dr.Jones!!
Right?! She's made it so clear that it's not performative. Remember how upset she got when she found out that her merch could've been interpreted as transphobic and created the "Science is inclusive" line
after scrolling the comments for MILES i have seen exactly one cruel comment, and even then it was so washed out it didn't hurt. This video is going straight on my Comfort Playlist; thank you EVERYONE, especially Doctor Jones, for kindly and respectfully accepting trans peoples' experiences, and choosing to learn. Rarely ever have I felt so safe and so loved. You rock! ❤
Just a couple minutes in and I’m so happy to hear the language you’re using “person with parts to impregnate someone” etc. I’m non-binary and my partner and I have talked about biological parenthood and it scares us both, especially considering I would be the one carrying the baby and I don’t know how that would impact my dysphoria. At least I know there are some medical professionals like you who are educated and caring of trans people and parents. Much love MDJ!!!
He thought he was gonna be dead. He was one letter off.
I know that explaining the joke makes it not funny, but take away the e in dead and you get dad
Your joke of the week medal sir/ma'am/ enby gem (sorry best I could come up with)
@@cursedalien it took me many many seconds to understand. That is the best kind of joke. :)
Thank you for explaining the joke. I was confused about what "dea" or "ead" meant. Didn't realize that you could remove any letter!
Thank you for being so clear about why inclusive language is important.
They are so perfect for eachother
pls congratulate your friend on her sapphic triforce family for us!!!
I was just having a conversation earlier with my mom about my dysphoria surrounding pregnancy. It's so nice to see a trans man being an amazing father :)
Mine was thru the roof. I wanted to die every day.
@@CorgiDaddy2 I’m so sorry you went through that. I hope you had help to talk you through it. I learned the hard way that thinking you. an move on from trauma without help can come back to bite you in the butt many years later. Aside from that I wish you all the best and a happy life with the child.
I feel like we as a society should also normalize polyamorous families. Having more than two parents won't mentally destroy the kids, it's the bullying and phobia from other people that will do that to them.
On that note, we should normalize single parents too.
My cousin has 3 dads. Her biological father who she's not allowed to see because he's doing drugs, her first step dad, and her second step dad.
Her mom just broke it off with the first one (biological father) before my cousin was born and found a another (1st step father) who loved her and took care of her. My cousin has 2 younger brothers which are her 1st step father's. After a while they broke up and her mom found another which is now her 2nd step father.
She still gets to see her 1st step father sometimes and her little brothers go between the the two houses. One week they'll be with their mom and the next with their dad unless there is school. They'll stay with the one parent closer to the school when they have school.
When I tell people my cousin technically has 3 dads they usually want to know why and how she has 3 dads.
I hope that this beautiful family is safe, and that those around them respect them, support them, and love them. Their son is pretty danged lucky to have a mom and dad who will love him unconditionally. And while he wasn’t expected, they would lay their lives down for him.
YAYYYYY... I can't believe you actually took my suggestion.
I absolutely loved everything about this video: the inclusive language, the humanity, the new info about how dangerous a footling delivery is, the not tired humor. I love it ALL
Thank you for sending!
Great suggestion!👍🏻👍🏻
As a non-binary, female-presenting parent, I had to pause this at the 7 1/2 minute mark to just cry, because in my life it's pretty rare to find someone SOOOO inclusive. Thank you SO MUCH, MDJ. I've been loving watching your videos for months now, but now I love you even more. I wish more people in the world were as accepting, accommodating, and inclusive as you!!
"As a non-binary, female-presenting parent"
So...a mother?
@@vegetaismydad5382 no. A mother is a cis female. I am non-binary. I'm a parent.
@@johnspetkitty81 When a female mammal has offspring, what is she called?
@@vegetaismydad5382 I'm not arguing with you. MDJ is accepting of other genders. If you're not, maybe you shouldn't be on her channel
@@johnspetkitty81 It was a simple question.
I am so happy she did this! Being trans is so hard and having a good OB of so helpful. I was lucky to find a good one who understands the dysphoria I feel. I hope many people watch this to see how to treat people
Dear Mama Doctor Jones, I always share your trans gender episodes to a friend...he has shared with his trans group. So thank you for what you do.
Love this video and the inclusive language, and explaining it clearly to people who may not understand trans people. thank you! This couple is adorable (and so is their cat). Thanks for always being inclusive in your language, it means a lot to me as a non-binary person. 💚
You mentioning nonbinary people in a casual, positive light almost made me cry in joy. It's such a small thing, that should be meaningless and common. But in this day and age, it means the world to hear a medical professional acknowledge people like me exist and are valid. Thank you for brightening my hope for humanity and my day.
Yasss!! Thank you for recognizing that trans men and some nonbinary people may be able to conceive, and may choose to carry babies and give birth. It makes a difference to me that healthcare providers today are more aware and accepting this.
This family is beautiful. The love those two have for their little surprise miracle (and what a beautiful, adorable little baby!) is so strong. This little kid is going to grow up so loved.
I wish all parents would be so clearly protective and loving.
I hope this beautiful, wholesome little family will stay happy and healthy! All the best for them!
I really appreciate you using inclusive language and educating others about people who identify as trans. You’re so amazing. I wish I had a doctor like you. My doctor and her nurses constantly misgender me.
Please know you deserve better.
Johanna, I hope that you will be able to find a Dr who respects you soon. BTW, you look great in your pic!
Please find a new doctor!! I know it's not easy at all but you deserve basic respect and understanding from the people you're paying to care for you! There's no excuse for them to misgender you - I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that!
@@azuradawn5683 this 100% especially if you live in the U.S. Our healthcare is privatized and you're paying a premium for that. You have the right to get the care you pay for (obviously this applies everywhere, just making a point about the U.S. system). Hospitals aren't going to point this out to you, but you've got the right to change your doctor whenever you want, that includes the damn phlebotomist at the lab too. You don't have to just take what they give you 👍
As a trans man you saying persons is amazing thank you for being inclusive!
As a trans man, I just wanna say thank you so much for always being so inclusive- not just during pride month. I always feel welcome here, and that’s rare. It truly means the world to me. I wish all HCPs were as loving.
Thank you so much for sharing this story!
I am a nonbinary/transmasc person, married to a trans woman. I also had a baby in my bathroom! Although it was planned (not the bathroom part, hah!), so not nearly as traumatic, I'm sure.
My wife and I have two kids together, although we're lucky enough to live somewhere that's relatively accepting of trans people and haven't faced a ton of hostility from strangers.
I just love seeing other trans families being represented, and appreciate that you're using your platform to help smash stigmas and normalize something that is just that: normal. Normal families, living their lives and loving their kids!
Their story is so beautiful and I wish all the best for their little family. That baby is going to be SO LOVED. I love your videos and content anyway but the inclusivity you bring is so amazing ❤️ I share your videos to my Facebook all the time in the hopes of helping my friends and family to properly educate themselves and their families on the topics you cover because the school system sure doesn’t 😬 thank you so so much for what you do!
I have a sneaking suspicion the kiddo isn't going to find their birth story beautiful. It'll probably start as, "you thought I was a poop?! Gross!" And turn into a funny story as they get older (fingers crossed society continues to progress towards inclusivity and denounce discrimination). The hilarious jokes that he could make later in life are endless. Someone else made a comment along the lines of "Dad: I don't want to be pregnant, Son: ok, I'll be quiet," and that one's gold lol
@@Amarianee birth is never “beautiful” in the conventional sense LOL, it’s the story of how they became their little family that I find beauty in; the way these two people came together and brought this precious little life into the world that they weren’t even expecting and are able to give it so much love, THAT is what’s beautiful ❤️
@@deathknightderiatris lol, I know, I know, I just couldn't help it. I asked my mum about my birth at a pretty young age, so my mind immediately went to what their kid will think. I remember feeling really bad for her as a kid, but now I poke fun at her for the all day sickness, 2 days late, and 16+hrs of active labour. My baby brain was having NONE of it. I occasionally apologize, when I'm in a mushy mood 😂 I genuinely hope they all have very happy lives and the few scattered trolls in here (and the world) grow to change or become vastly outnumbered. Based on the comments section, the world is moving in the right direction 👍
My wife and I are both trans and trying to get pregnant, you have no idea how amazing a video like this is for us to see. Thank you Dr. Jones!
I feel like that baby, despite growing up in a world that is so horrible to our community, will be SO loved and supported. There’s nothing like being in this community. It’ll be the best village.
On a side note: out of curiosity, if you have top surgery, how would pregnancy affect the onset of developing breast milk?
Trans man here, I'm no expert so I could be off on the specifics but most forms of top surgery remove the milk glands so milk production is no longer possible.
I am also not an expert but I know that in cis women who have breast reduction surgery they leave the milk glands and you will still be perfectly able to breast feed your child. If it is something you would want, you could probably bring it up with your doctors and see what your options are.
That's one of the differences between top surgery for trans men, and breast reduction surgery for women.
In breast reduction surgery they leave the milk glands in, and try to remove tissue around them in a way that is unlikely to cause problems for milk production.
In top surgery for trans men, the goal is to have a flat masculine looking chest, so the milk glands are removed along with almost all of the breast tissue.
In a mastectomy to prevent breast cancer in people with a high genetic risk, all of the breast tissue is removed, up into the armpit, which gives a different appearance.
In top surgery once the breast tissue has been removed, it cannot regrow or produce milk, even in response to hormones, because the tissue that would respond to the hormones has been removed.
@@SomeoneBeginingWithI Yep! With top surgery they also go up under the armpits, depending on your weight and shape, in order to improve the contour.
As far as I know, top surgery removes nearly all the breast tissue and most kinds stitch the reshaped nipples back on, so I guess nothing would happen up there.
This is my favorite episode you have ever done. As a queer person, I really appreciate how you handled the language.
She’s so sweet and considerate throughout the whole video! Thanks so much, Mama dr Jones!!
I am saving this video when it's time to explain this to my kids!
My daughter came in while I was making the thumbnail and we got to chat. :)
Loving this.
Honestly I think it's harder to explain it to parents and elders than it is to explain it to kids because of the wonderful information online that kids absorb through the content they watch.
@@writeonshell & they are often more open as they don’t have years upon years of (often incorrect) preconceptions/ misperceptions!
@@Mel-pb5xw exactly!
Omg I can’t imagine not knowing you’re pregnant and going into labor. You would definitely think you were dying. It feels like you’re dying even when you know you’re in labor & having contractions. That would be terrifying, having contractions and not knowing that’s what it was 😬😵🤯
One of my closest friends went into hospital thinking she had appendicitis as she felt sick earlier. Low and behold she was 37 weeks pregnant and in labour. She's 5 foot 2 and maybe 110pounds. She had no stomach and no other symptoms and I had lunch with her the week before so it was a massive shock when she told me. But she is the best mother but yeah she thought she was dying at the time
Yikes! Considering how scary it can be sometimes just dealing with monthly cramps & other menstrual symptoms (as someone living with endo & fibromyalgia in particular), I find the thought of unexpected labour & delivery at home quite terrifying!! You truly would feel like you were dying, I imagine...? The parents in this video are incredibly brave & resilient to have coped with that experience and moved straight on to full-on baby-love... 🥰 Kudos to them!
…maybe teach trans people about biology and how the birds and bees work…? Idk if I get hate-you’re a damned female, and this literally is nature saying it doesn’t give a damn what you feel about that fact 🤷♀️
This was such a lovely story, can only imagine how scary and life-changing that was. Given dad appears to have top surgery, and mentioned being on hormone therapy, that did make me wonder about milk production. I'm wondering if the mammary glands would have been fully removed and/or whether his body would still produce milk (or if it would try to). If he did produce milk I imagine that might have been very tough from a dysphoria perspective.
For trans men, top surgery usually includes removing the milk glands which means he wouldn't produce any milk. It appears they were probably feeding formula, due to the bottles, if I were to guess. (Technically the mom could produce milk if given the proper hormones to induce it, but idk that anywhere actually does that beyond theory and the one single dad who did it lol.)
The mom can produce milk with a lot of massaging and a bit of pharmaceutical trickery (e.g. superdosed HRT, with a bit of domperidone) to start it up. It’s proper milk for the baby once you stop the non-natural drugs, it’s probably affirming as fuck for the mom, but it’s also a lot of bother and a lot of risk both for the doctor and for the mom. Heck, domperidone isn’t even approved in the US!
@@kiralonely Bit of a late reply but I know someone who actually did and you also occasionally see it mentioned in the wider community. You're almost certainly right about them using formula tho since it would take a while for the medication to do its work and it would be a lot of extra stress and possibly expenses in an already chaotic situation.
I'm a transguy and really happy I had a hysterectomy watching this. It's usually recommended to go off testosterone when trying for a baby to avoid complications, so I would definitely be worried.
It would be super interesting if you made a video about hysterectomies and the different types. I found little information about the different methods and the "pros and cons" of a partial vs a full hysterectomy because it's usually a procedure people do out of necessity and not by choice.
I would love this too! I'm transmasc and I have really awful tokophobia as well as dysphoria, so I sometimes struggle to watch the other "I didn't know I was pregnant" videos just from the anxiety. Knowing that hrt decreases likelyhood of conceiving makes me feel better sometimes, but I know I won't be okay with it until I get a hysto. My girlfriend is also trans and she has anxiety and dysphoria around the idea of "fathering" a child, so there are days where it's really hard if we're both having bad dysphoria about that at the same time.
@@stefh1183 all the love and strength for both of you and your journey. I hope you can find healthcare support that can help you with options. For some that might be a hysterectomy or vasectomy, for others it’s longterm birth control. As someone with bad tokophobia I can empathize with that part. Since I’m mostly terrified specifically of birth the only way for me to remedy that as a person who generally wants bio kids if that’s in the picture is assuring myself I will be able to choose a C-section. But yeah these didn’t know I was pregnant episodes to have a horror aspect.
I'm all for people making their own treatment choices and variables like tokophobia and dysphoria are highly relevant, but I just want to toss out there (to the room/nobody in particular) that essentially-perfect sterilization is doable in a less invasive and less endocrine-destabilizing way.
Ordinary old tubal ligation is of course not really as perfectly effective as many of us would like -- but bilateral salpingectomy is a great way to go, is exceptionally effective, is hardly any more involved than ligation, and is far less impactful than hysterectomy. And it has some prophylactic benefit as well. Hysterectomy absolutely is a useful choice in lots of contexts, for medical as well as psychological reasons, and it can totally be the right option for surgical sterilization for some uterus-havers. But it was just a little alarming seeing a few commenters in a row specifying that procedure in particular and I didn't want any readers possibly getting the mistaken impression that it's the only real option.
Bilateral salpingectomy is a great sterilization method and I'm glad it seems to be becoming more standard now than ligation. Personally, I got mine with endometrial ablation so no more menstruation for me either, I know that's a big one for lots of people especially those with dysphoria. So I was able to get the whole system's unwanted operations shut down with relative ease without significantly rocking my endocrine boat.
So yeah, every case is different but I just wanted to toss out there that there are many options and combinations of options!
(*ENDOMETRIAL ABLATION IS PRETTY NEW ISH AND NOT FOR EVERYONE, it's important to me to toss that out there as well, it's not recommended under a certain age and in some cases delayed issues afterwards involving blood clots not shedding well from the uterus can lead to patients needing hysterectomy anyway, so it's a whole thing, do your research and talk to your doctors.)
I thought you meant you had a hysterectomy while watching the video 💀
@@stefh1183 similar story here but i'm nonbinary. being pregnant would be my worst nightmare. i would rather die in a fire than be pregnant as it just seems more pleasant. unfortunately my country tends to be very iffy and i'm not good at manouvering myself into being able to fix things.. i am getting a breast reduction but i'm afraid they will still remain large afterwards due to the sheer size they already are. it makes it very hard for me. i told my main doctor that i'd prefer a removal but he then explained to me that most surgeons wouldn't do that (idk why since it would help me way more than just a reduction. but i guess it's better than nothing) wich frustrated me.. i have ADHD and Autism so telling people what i really want is extremely hard for me
Omg, the way his fear instantly switched to happiness when he was remembering the birthing process was too precious 😭❤️❤️
I was touched by this couple’s story and also appreciated the doctor’s inclusive attitude. Our teenage son is transgender and about to start hormone treatment. We’ve recently had a consult about egg retrieval, but have decided to hold off for now. He is not quite 17 - it was a challenging conversation for him to have, especially since menstruation and all things ‘woman related’ are extremely distressing for him.
BTW Welcome to Aotearoa, Doctor Jones 😊
Such a beautiful story! It breaks my heart though that they are already concerned about their son being bullied when he is still just a tiny newborn
As a trans man I've always really appreciated the gender neutral language. Anytime I have a medical issue or curiosity about my body or anything and try and research it and find only results talking about women it makes me really insecure about even experiencing it to begin with and I always get worried to even go to the doctor cuz I am always misgendered and dead named and all my issues are viewed as women's issues when they're not just women's
Because only females/women get pregnant and give birth. I don't understand what is so hard to understand about this. Transmen are biologically female adults. Women are biologically female adults. It's the same organism from a purely scientific standpoint. So, reading women's reproductive health literature is still relevant to you because transmen and women are the same organisms biologically.
Example: You can give a mare testosterone all day, but she's still not a stallion and if she's pregnant, issues relating to how to care for her and her unborn foal's health would still be found under "Pregnant Mare Care" in veterinary literature. The word "woman" just denotes an age group just like "girl" (female human child). Going back to horses, a female young horse is called a filly. The only requirement to be a woman is to have XX chromosomes a uterus, ovaries, and ova. How you present doesn't matter. You can present masculine, feminine, or somewhere in-between. That's not what defines you as a woman. Your age group and biology do.
@@vegetaismydad5382 Trans people aren’t horses, though…..?
Also, gender and sex are different things. Sex is psychical- you can be assigned as male, female, or intersex. Gender is fluid- you can be cisgender or transgender.
@@alexva58 No. Humans are also animals. Primates. There are male humans and female humans. Males can be feminine. Females can be masculine. They are still male and female, though. Biological sex is immutable and cannot be changed. How you present that biological sex as an individual, however, can be changed. I'm a female who presents masculine. You used to know us as tomboys. 😒
@@alexva58humans are animals and as part of the animal kingdom there are female and male animals. In rare cases there are animals/humans that are both sexes naturally. The example of the horse in veterinary care is to illustrate that scientific and medical literature is based on the chromosomal and biological make up of the animal, plus the age for the language women vs girls or men vs boys. Humans are animals, so the scientific and medical language follow the same rules in all medical fields.
@@vegetaismydad5382Couching your hate and bigotry in scientific language doesn't make it any less hateful.
Its so refreshing to see an OBGYN talk positively about trans people & be knowledgeable about the trans experience
i'm glad that more trans people are talking about their journeys as parents! i enjoy hearing them as i'm planning to be a trans parent one day and it's a bit scary
Me too, I'm a trans guy and would to have my own family. I think I would like to be pregnant, I'm not as dysphoric as some people. Assuming the pregnancy wasn't horrible like some people's lol
@@connorcollins8629 yeah exactly, i like watching these videos to be prepared if anything like this ever happens to me lol, i wish you luck and courage in the future and hope you have the chance to have a planned pregnancy if u ever want to:)
@@connorcollins8629Yeah same! Like it's such a cool thing to be able to literally build a human from scratch! If my girlfriend (she's trans) wanted to have kids one day (we're still early in our relationship lol), I'd more than likely be down to be pregnant! Like how cool is that? and I'd get to call myself a seahorse dad!
I love that you say, “assumed to be their gender at birth” and “the gender someone thought they would be”. Most in healthcare I’ve spoke to say “born as a boy/girl”. The language we use is so important!
@@bluecannibaleyes I think you are mistaking gender for sex. These are two different things. Sex is biological. The part that is assumed is that the individual will grow up to be the gender they are assigned before birth. Also, from my understanding, trans and non-binary individuals refer to their birth sex (since this can be changed) as “assigned female/male at birth” or “AFAB/AMAB” for this reason. If you are confused on the science part of transitioning, there are some really interesting studies out there. It goes far beyond just “feelings”.
@@bluecannibaleyes ✊🏻♀️ YES! You're not alone! Also a young mom out here not buying or teaching this ideology to my children.
@@RachelDee It's not an ideology, it's literally science. You're a terrible mother whose children will be ignorant and terrible people, just like you
@@bluecannibaleyes No, sex and gender have never been interchangable. Do some actual reasearch dummy
@@RachelDee i feel so bad for your children. let them express themselves and be who they are
I'm an open minded republican and love that you did this episode! I just LOVE you!
Same!! This is awesome
I'm not trans but I have always noticed and really appreciated your inclusive language throughout your videos. I'm sure it means everything to some people. 💜
It is very nice
I’m not trans either, but I am an ally to anyone.
Pride month. One of my high school friends and her wife just adopted a little boy. I was so happy for this boy and his two moms who will love him unconditionally.
Thank you for explaining more how you use inclusive language. I’ll be honest, I have struggled with the term “birthing person” but feel a little better with your explanation. My struggle was that I am totally fine to call someone a birthing person if they would like, but I personally am a female who identifies as a woman and I am a mother. I don’t know why I was struggling with it so much, but I am trying to learn more about the trans community and trying to understand better.
So thank you again MDJ for being inclusive and educational, will always love your channel
MDJ being an awesome trans ally is the best part of pride month yet 🥰
I love that she says "people who menstruate"
The family that made rude comments to them can go take a hike. They are the CUTEST little family and there is no reason anyone should be making comments about other people like that. We really need to grow as a culture so people can feel safe expressing themselves. I am shocked I didn't see this video when it came out, I must've been without internet at the time, but seeing this makes me so happy. One of my best friends is a transman that carried a baby and he talks about kids and how much he loves his daughter all the time.
I’m only 4 minutes into this video but I’m in love with this whole family. They are so adorable.
@Lyn Ghost no, you’re delusional.
@Lyn Ghost trans people are not delusional and they will continue to exist whether you like it or not. die mad about it.
As a trans man who just had a baby, I want to thank you for this video. Thank you for being so supportive.
My little girl was planned and expected. My husband and family were and are great and nothing but loving and caring.
I do wish the maternity ward wasn't quite so... Girl Power everywhere. I never felt comfortable going in there. I hated when the nurses would talk to me about "women's bodies". It didn't feel like I was really welcome there.
I hope in the future, they're more inclusive of everyone.
congratulations!
I had the realization I was non-binary WHILE I was pregnant. That was... a trip. I feel so bad for them both having to worry that their kid will be judged just because they're not cis.
Their baby is adorable, and I wish the absolute best for them.
I love her support for the lgbtq community!
The dad is so adorable I love how much he loves his baby 😍
Yes dr. Mad dog Jones is all for genital mutilation
Honestly they're such wonderful parents-
imao youre kidding right I feel bad for that child having loonies for parents
@@thomasthetrain5317 My man all over the comments pissed at people living their lives.