Happily Friended with author Rhaina Cohen | A Bit of Optimism Podcast
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ค. 2024
- Society treats marriage like the end goal of human intimacy. Platonic friends can never be as important as romantic partners.
What would life look like if we made friendship the goal? Journalist and producer Rhaina Cohen tackles this question in her book The Other Significant Others. She tells the stories of people who made platonic friends the closest people in their lives, doing things together like buying houses, executing a will, and raising children.
I wanted to talk with Rhaina because redefining what friendship means in our lives lets us connect in new and deeper ways outside the rigid boundaries of a marriage or relationship. And it might take the pressure off our romantic partners to fulfill every one of our social needs.
This…is A Bit of Optimism.
To learn more about Rhaina and her work, check out:
www.rhainacohen.com/
Her book: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-...
⏰ Timestamps
0:00 Intro
0:02:27 Deep Friendships as Life Partnerships
0:03:57 Defining Relationships Beyond Romance
0:05:27 Personal Experiences and the Impact of Friendship
0:06:57 Legal Rights and Social Recognition of Friendships
0:08:57 Challenging Traditional Relationship Categories
0:10:57 The Impact of Language on Relationship Perception
0:12:57 Loneliness and the Modern Challenge of Building Deep Friendships
0:15:27 Friendship Goals and Social Pressure
0:17:57 Reevaluating Life and Relationship Success
0:20:57 Threats to Marriages from Deep Friendships
0:23:27 Culminating Thoughts and the Future of Relationships
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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.
Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.
Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.
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Website: simonsinek.com/
Live Online Classes: simonsinek.com/classes/
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Simon’s books:
The Infinite Game: simonsinek.com/books/the-infi...
Start With Why: simonsinek.com/books/start-wi...
Find Your Why: simonsinek.com/books/find-you...
Leaders Eat Last: simonsinek.com/books/leaders-...
Together is Better: simonsinek.com/books/together...
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#SimonSinek
Ooh! The first date thing: i never ever ask people out who i don't know... never come at a stranger with the intent of dating. I only ever make friendships and see if they may evolve into romance over time.
I only got involved with people I had multiple connections with. If you marry a friend 🧡 it lasts. You work through things together and you love and like them. You forgive yourself for your part of the problem and forgive them for being needy or or unsatisfied. Find your own fulfillment.
Great attempt! 👌🏻✨
@@marnamiller9773 how can asking a stranger out ever compete with this?
😂
Me and my partner of 7 years broke up. The first 3 years were great, we never fought, and meanwhile we stopped having sex and I felt like a burden for having needs and desires. Towards the end of our relationship it got pretty bad at times between us. Finally we broke up, and we said lets just be friends.
And i took her up on that offer, took it serious, and when we started hanging out as friends it felt like puzzle pieces that never fit finally fell into place. And we are for another 8 years now actually best friends and going strong.
Very refreshing as I struggle with this too. It's too limiting and taxing to have your spouse expected to be EVERYTHING to you. As a man, I have several female friends that have come to be close and always ended up awkwardly because of the societal expectations. We need more words to allow the broad range of relationships.
Someone once said everything comes at a cost. Indeed! :)
Marriage is an intimate merger, and successfully merging two entities requires alignment, discussing boundaries, and redefining ways of operating. Most would find it strange for a married woman to go to her hunky running back friend's house at 8 pm and return home at 4 am, expecting her husband to be unbothered. It might have been something she did in her single days, but now, as one of two in a marriage, her husband's feelings and opinions matter and best be considered.
Marriage is not an entitlement or a requirement for living. It is an honor when one prepares themselves and chooses to share their heart, mind, and body with another - for a lifetime.
Friendship is built through time and space. Expectations and disappointments are inevitable. There’s only one way to find out if something will work out or not, it’s getting into such a relationship, whether friendship or more than friendship. You have to be in it, otherwise, you’ll never know what will happen!
Loved it!! Finally an open discussion about a topic that is relevant for so many people but is rarely raised, and in such candidness! Thank you both for opening the path for another 'friendship' concept 🙏🏻✨
As you change , those friendships may no longer work but you can still appreciate and value them for what they were to you at that time.
Friendship for sure is foundational, like raising kids 😊
I call it like at first sight with friends who are very close.
My best friend and I joked about marrying each other platonically.
I have several of those angels in my life. Lucky me. 😊
Having same interests and causes fulfills deeper connections.
Couldn't agree more
Just like in Western countries 30 year old non married women doesn’t live with her parents is considered abnormal same as in Europe, Asia, Middle East a successful, educated, self sufficient single men who is not married in their Middle Ages considered unusual. But everyone lives their own lives and not the life of others. If you choose to live your life a certain way that’s your life and no body else’s.
Its normal in the nordic countries (besides some few religious people) to be a unmarried woman who lives alone.
If you look at the statistics majority people who immigrate to other parts of the world from Nordic countries belong to some sort of religious denominations such as Orthodox Jews, Evangelical Christians (Baptists, Pentecostals, Seventh Day Adventists, and others), Jehovah’s Witnesses, Ukrainian Greek Catholics, and members of the Ukrainian Autocephalous Orthodox Church.
The problem in the US is that people think you need something from them, that's why they don't want to have close friendship. Most of them use you for while you are around, after they disappear because they got what they want. Overseas, we have friends because we enjoy each other company, we can talk for hours, we can see each other almost every time we have. Here in the US, people are thinking about priorities, and if you are not making money for them, you are not their friend. They would rather struggle alone than share they day with friend. I think that's why a lot of people have depression, anxiety, and struggle with their life. Unfortunately, that is what I came across while living in the US. I hope one day it will change.
You can’t always find your partner or spouse through a friendship. How limiting. I met my husband of 13 yrs (together 15) through a dating site. We are going strong and are best friends. Be open, be genuine, take risks. Love and be loved.
Simon, what have you done to your arm?
Oww..
🆒👍
what happened to his hand?
Mind your own business
That is a concern.. I wonder if something bad happened or was an accident...
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13:40 What a welcoming and laid back approach! ✨🌱👌🏻