WOA. The idea that made click on me was "They have fear, because they care". I feel that I understand my parents more with this session. And also, coach Ajit made an extraordinary demonstration of neutrality: not on the side of Nathalie, not on the side of the parents, just being JUST. Sometimes we don't understand the fears of others and neither we don't understand where ours come from neither theirs. So, beautifully guided. Thank u!🥺💓
WOA! Fears of both success and failure can be paralyzingly. Especially when you feel that your loved ones are not being supportive. Fear of the unknown. Fear of them being correct. I love the idea of pre working the fear issues. I loved the example of the parent/child. Puts the fears of the loved ones into perspective. ❤️👍❤️
This was good. There were two big takeaways. 1. Digging deeper beyond the surface fear and taking that fear and creating a plan for that fear. 2. It's harder for the people who love us to support us when we are doing something they feel is scary. The expectation of how I believe others will respond gets thwarted. So then it throws me off and I begin to doubt myself, thinking that they don't want me to be happy. I get it now that it's hard for those closest to me to be my biggest cheerleader because they are scared. Change my story around my expectations of those closest to me. This is exciting, now I get to focus on me and not my expectations of them. I've heard so many theories around how to deal with fear; overcome them, face them, ignore them...yet, the idea of creating a plan for that fear feels much more empowering and calming.
WOA this was 100% me last year! It is so hard to keep persevering when your perception of your loved one are unsupportive but in actuality it's coming from a place of fear and safety. I'm glad I kept my determination because I am more full of love, gratitude, and grit in a coaching career - bonus my loved ones now see the change too. I hope to pass this same message along to others as well!
I really loved the part when you did the experiment with alternative reality. Asking what if everything that you think will happen would go the opposite. Followed by a question what the coachee would do & what her approach would be. I feel we often are so stuck because of our attachment to what we think will be, that I find that kind of question true GAMECHANGERS. it's like opening a totally new world for someone, so powerful and beautiful !
Amazing session, I needed to see this. My main take-aways - Diggin deeper into the issue (Ajit kept reminiscing what Natalie said and kept asking until he found the real issue) - Turning problems/fears into projects (visions that make the problem obsolete) - Great Metaphor/allegory (crossing the road) leading to understanding of a situation. - Mental reprograming - NLP - (seeing things from the point of view of others and then changing one's own thoughts).
WOA and WOW. There are so many beautiful insights in here. People who love us have a harder time being our cheerleaders for something scary but they still love and care and can support us. Changing the narrative.
What I saw was that you made her feel comforatable with the fact that it is normal for people to have their own responses. That those responses might not be what you want and yet its ok becasue it comes from love. And yet through her realising that she doesn't have to make them feel enthusiastic and on board she just has to be honest she may well get them on board and recieve a more enthusiastic response than she was expecting. Digging deeper helped. Beautiful conversation.
I can so relate to this because this is my dilemma - subconsciously seeking approval and validation from family and partner. I also recognize fear is keeping me from moving foward. WOA
I've struggled with similar issues in terms of what family and friends think when I am trying to make a meaningful change for myself. Those closest to me in the past have not been cheerleading me at all. Instead they were my biggest dissenters. So I can really relate. But Ajit said that sometimes they just love us a lot and so the first thing that comes up for them is a lot of fear for us. And that we don't have to approach the conversations with any expectations of cheerleading, but just ask for an openness to think about how they might be able to show support. And I think that both outcomes (dissenting and cheerleading) are built in ourselves and projected into our relationships. It starts in us and our own thinking, and self regulation or lack thereof. If we can consciously choose to be fully aware of their potential negative responses and realize that it would only be out of love for us, then we can forgive that response ahead of time, and not allow it to have a hold on us. So maybe our fears are messages of love to us from our future, telling us what we need to explore and forgive, and move on from in our current self, in order to move on where we are different and new, and maturely handle what could come, and not let it hold us back. That is my biggest take away from this. WOA
What really clicked are five points: 1. Emotional fear is a story of my future saying that something will not be working. 2. The antithesis of fear is a plan to tackle the fear. 3. The clearer the plan the less fearful the thing feared becomes. 4. People are not concerned because they are against our plans, they are concerned because they care. 5. The illustration of my child wanting to cross the road. 6. Suspend my expectations about others, and maintain my own expectations about myself.
So great! WOA ... managing the transition mode, the excitement to start something new vs. managing the current duties (while in some cases we want to keep both but tackling both is an intense energy drainer). One feet after the other... We need to hold on and believe we will gradually get closer to our soul mission. It might take slightly longer but we will get there.
Great session! WOA.... Managing the transition mode vs. current job duties, to manage the energy of invest in something (when sometimes not clear if we want to manage both or just make full switch) is an energy drainer... We need to believe that in one way or another we are giving a step towards our soul mission. It might take slightly longer than expected but we will get there.
This coaching demo was what I just needed right now since I'm a Coach myself and have been going through something very similar to what Natalie is going through right now. The question that really stuck to me was "Have you really sat down to identify what exactly the fear is and create a plan to tackle it?" I've been thinking about this. Also, what I'm curious to know is that when Natalie began to speak, she spoke about a resentment that she was feeling towards her current job. It seemed like in her heart she knows that the practical thing to do is to continue in the current role till she has a concrete plan or more clients - she is increasingly finding it difficult to put this plan into action. How would you have approached this if you chose to focus on this in the session? Another question in my mind is, in this scenario, it looked like she is in a position where she's able to balance both her current role and the business development related work for her Coaching business. But that may not always be possible. There are a lot of people who are stuck in jobs that suck all the energy out of them and leave them with no time to explore an alternate career. And most organisations in India don't have flexible work policies. How do you approach this issue in a Coaching session/ what advice would you have for such aspiring entrepreneurs who're stuck in a demanding role? Another thing that struck me during the session was your question on "Does your family really love you?". I'm curious to hear from you, Ajit and other experienced coaches on in what direction would the conversation go if the the coachee answered with "I don't know" or "I'm not sure". Family members often express doubts towards the ambitions of their partner out of care and concern. But often times, it can just come from a selfish place of not wanting to disturb the sense of stability and security at home. What can be a possible way to look at this issue?
So glad you resonated with this coaching conversation! And thanks for sharing your insights, they are fantastic! There are always so many different ways a coaching session can go and it will really depend on the coach and coachee how they navigate each of those potential scenarios. Our advice is to always try to go as deep as possible with the client and guide the conversation based on the insights that start showing up. Trusting your intuition is a big part of it as well! And regarding your question about family support, we believe you might find this video insightful: th-cam.com/video/p-_KZJvQj9k/w-d-xo.html. Thanks for sharing! :)
I love the way you don't interrupt. That was 5 min and you didn't say a thing and just let her speak. Very nice.
WOA. The idea that made click on me was "They have fear, because they care". I feel that I understand my parents more with this session. And also, coach Ajit made an extraordinary demonstration of neutrality: not on the side of Nathalie, not on the side of the parents, just being JUST. Sometimes we don't understand the fears of others and neither we don't understand where ours come from neither theirs. So, beautifully guided. Thank u!🥺💓
So glad you resonated with this conversation! Thank you for sharing :)
WOA! Fears of both success and failure can be paralyzingly. Especially when you feel that your loved ones are not being supportive. Fear of the unknown. Fear of them being correct. I love the idea of pre working the fear issues. I loved the example of the parent/child. Puts the fears of the loved ones into perspective. ❤️👍❤️
Spot on. Great catch ;)
This was good. There were two big takeaways. 1. Digging deeper beyond the surface fear and taking that fear and creating a plan for that fear. 2. It's harder for the people who love us to support us when we are doing something they feel is scary. The expectation of how I believe others will respond gets thwarted. So then it throws me off and I begin to doubt myself, thinking that they don't want me to be happy. I get it now that it's hard for those closest to me to be my biggest cheerleader because they are scared. Change my story around my expectations of those closest to me. This is exciting, now I get to focus on me and not my expectations of them.
I've heard so many theories around how to deal with fear; overcome them, face them, ignore them...yet, the idea of creating a plan for that fear feels much more empowering and calming.
What an amazing reflection and insight, Monique! Thanks for sharing :)
WOA this was 100% me last year! It is so hard to keep persevering when your perception of your loved one are unsupportive but in actuality it's coming from a place of fear and safety. I'm glad I kept my determination because I am more full of love, gratitude, and grit in a coaching career - bonus my loved ones now see the change too. I hope to pass this same message along to others as well!
That's amazing, Karen! Keep spreading that message ;)
I really loved the part when you did the experiment with alternative reality. Asking what if everything that you think will happen would go the opposite. Followed by a question what the coachee would do & what her approach would be.
I feel we often are so stuck because of our attachment to what we think will be, that I find that kind of question true GAMECHANGERS. it's like opening a totally new world for someone, so powerful and beautiful !
Great catch and reflection! Glad you resonated with this conversation. Thanks for your kind words :)
Amazing session, I needed to see this.
My main take-aways
- Diggin deeper into the issue (Ajit kept reminiscing what Natalie said and kept asking until he found the real issue)
- Turning problems/fears into projects (visions that make the problem obsolete)
- Great Metaphor/allegory (crossing the road) leading to understanding of a situation.
- Mental reprograming - NLP - (seeing things from the point of view of others and then changing one's own thoughts).
WOA and WOW. There are so many beautiful insights in here. People who love us have a harder time being our cheerleaders for something scary but they still love and care and can support us. Changing the narrative.
So glad you resonated with this, Julie! Thanks for sharing :)
This so me! Thank you so much. I now have my plan and clarity
What I saw was that you made her feel comforatable with the fact that it is normal for people to have their own responses. That those responses might not be what you want and yet its ok becasue it comes from love. And yet through her realising that she doesn't have to make them feel enthusiastic and on board she just has to be honest she may well get them on board and recieve a more enthusiastic response than she was expecting. Digging deeper helped. Beautiful conversation.
So glad you resonated with this! Thanks for sharing :)
I can so relate to this because this is my dilemma - subconsciously seeking approval and validation from family and partner. I also recognize fear is keeping me from moving foward. WOA
Amazing insight, Carolyn! A lot of great information to work with there ;) Thanks for sharing
I've struggled with similar issues in terms of what family and friends think when I am trying to make a meaningful change for myself. Those closest to me in the past have not been cheerleading me at all. Instead they were my biggest dissenters. So I can really relate. But Ajit said that sometimes they just love us a lot and so the first thing that comes up for them is a lot of fear for us. And that we don't have to approach the conversations with any expectations of cheerleading, but just ask for an openness to think about how they might be able to show support. And I think that both outcomes (dissenting and cheerleading) are built in ourselves and projected into our relationships. It starts in us and our own thinking, and self regulation or lack thereof. If we can consciously choose to be fully aware of their potential negative responses and realize that it would only be out of love for us, then we can forgive that response ahead of time, and not allow it to have a hold on us. So maybe our fears are messages of love to us from our future, telling us what we need to explore and forgive, and move on from in our current self, in order to move on where we are different and new, and maturely handle what could come, and not let it hold us back. That is my biggest take away from this. WOA
What really clicked are five points:
1. Emotional fear is a story of my future saying that something will not be working.
2. The antithesis of fear is a plan to tackle the fear.
3. The clearer the plan the less fearful the thing feared becomes.
4. People are not concerned because they are against our plans, they are concerned because they care.
5. The illustration of my child wanting to cross the road.
6. Suspend my expectations about others, and maintain my own expectations about myself.
So great! WOA ... managing the transition mode, the excitement to start something new vs. managing the current duties (while in some cases we want to keep both but tackling both is an intense energy drainer). One feet after the other... We need to hold on and believe we will gradually get closer to our soul mission. It might take slightly longer but we will get there.
❤ Great is like mirroring many of my fears :-)
Glad you resonated with this! Thanks for sharing :)
Good job Ajit and Natalie! Learned a lot with this example.
So glad you resonated with this! Thanks for sharing :)
Great session! WOA.... Managing the transition mode vs. current job duties, to manage the energy of invest in something (when sometimes not clear if we want to manage both or just make full switch) is an energy drainer... We need to believe that in one way or another we are giving a step towards our soul mission. It might take slightly longer than expected but we will get there.
Powerful questions in action!! Thank you Ajit!
Thank you, that was helpful!
This coaching demo was what I just needed right now since I'm a Coach myself and have been going through something very similar to what Natalie is going through right now. The question that really stuck to me was "Have you really sat down to identify what exactly the fear is and create a plan to tackle it?" I've been thinking about this.
Also, what I'm curious to know is that when Natalie began to speak, she spoke about a resentment that she was feeling towards her current job. It seemed like in her heart she knows that the practical thing to do is to continue in the current role till she has a concrete plan or more clients - she is increasingly finding it difficult to put this plan into action. How would you have approached this if you chose to focus on this in the session?
Another question in my mind is, in this scenario, it looked like she is in a position where she's able to balance both her current role and the business development related work for her Coaching business. But that may not always be possible. There are a lot of people who are stuck in jobs that suck all the energy out of them and leave them with no time to explore an alternate career. And most organisations in India don't have flexible work policies. How do you approach this issue in a Coaching session/ what advice would you have for such aspiring entrepreneurs who're stuck in a demanding role?
Another thing that struck me during the session was your question on "Does your family really love you?". I'm curious to hear from you, Ajit and other experienced coaches on in what direction would the conversation go if the the coachee answered with "I don't know" or "I'm not sure". Family members often express doubts towards the ambitions of their partner out of care and concern. But often times, it can just come from a selfish place of not wanting to disturb the sense of stability and security at home. What can be a possible way to look at this issue?
So glad you resonated with this coaching conversation! And thanks for sharing your insights, they are fantastic! There are always so many different ways a coaching session can go and it will really depend on the coach and coachee how they navigate each of those potential scenarios. Our advice is to always try to go as deep as possible with the client and guide the conversation based on the insights that start showing up. Trusting your intuition is a big part of it as well! And regarding your question about family support, we believe you might find this video insightful: th-cam.com/video/p-_KZJvQj9k/w-d-xo.html. Thanks for sharing! :)