My question is why didn't Leo's sister expose the truth instead of trying to dog on OP. Make it make sense. I do get the controversy around someone hiding the affair but at the same time it was not OP's place. Nobody else was going to face the consequences at that time when she was younger. And instead of the sister doing something to actually help her brother she decided to ruin OP's life, instead of actually addressing the actual problem which was the sister of the OP
Because if she was the one to expose everything, her brother would have hated her. She's no saint either. She wanted OP to blow everything up so she wouldn't have to deal with the fallout.
@armaggedon390 you right. But that was shitty. OP is not her brother's keeper. She could have even done it anonymously. But, she chose to bully OP into submitting. The sister was/is a coward. The brother/ap was a simp/idiot
OP, you can't control other's actions. Everyone involved has their part in this sorry tale, and your's is the least. Parents who made an arranged marriage. Sister, who is just a plain gold digger and ho. Sister of your BIL, why don't she tell if she's so righteous. Now the groom, he needs to pull head out there are always signs of cheating.
S 1 op, you didn’t ruin anything, they did. Your sister is incorrect about you being petty. She’s a lying cheater and you just told people. You did nothing wrong. Not one apology for being left out right? Your whole family are narcissists, they will twist everything and never ever take responsibility for their choices. They will always play victim. And your sister trying to make you feel bad about her daughter, well whatever the daughter goes through is all on your sister and her choices. You had nothing to do with it. Your sister is responsible for every choice she has made. If her daughter suffers, it will be Melissa’s fault, not yours. They will gas light the heck out of you, keep blocking them.
NTA. OP made some AH decisions, but is not the AH. I understand how hard it is to see wrong, but not be able to do anything because of the harm to yourself. Everyone saying they would not have looked out for themselves first is lying. Especially since this started when OP was pretty young. In reality, it wasn't OP's responsibility for most of what happened. The sister and Leo cheated. Not OP. Leo's sister was wrong because she could have done something besides bullying OP. Instead of holding her cheating brother accountable, she went after OP. Yes, the reason OP exposed them was wrong, but it still doesn't make OP the AH.
Exposing the conspiracy was a just decision, despite the reasoning to do so. And taking accountability of one's actions and choices is an important ability for self-improvement. And she was between a rock and a hard place, neither decision was really desirable, and keeping quiet was simply easier and had more visible benefits. Unless they are a complete doormat, the majority of people become vindictive and petty when pushed pass their breaking points. Seen plenty of good people become the bad guy when push comes to shove. Really you're biggest mistake was not preparing earlier in life to go at it alone without your parents support, and then making a decision with no real follow-up plan to protect yourself in the fall-out. Things lined up apparently, but it was because of others taking pity. The blame for being quiet isn't solely on you though. That sister of Leo is also to blame, she kept quiet and bullied you, because she knew you wouldn't fight back, you were a soft target, an easy target, she faced no real consequences for going after you, not really. She could have taken the leap and tell what she knew. She was in a "in the know" position to do it, but took the coward's way out, and put it all on you, and bullied you to make herself feel better about keeping her mouth shut for "reasons". Leo was fine being a doormat and waiting only to finally put his foot down and give an ultimatum because he was exposed as a homewrecker, and sacificed so much that he needed something to show for his poor behavior and poor decisions. He can't play the victim when he was complicit in his own torment. He could've put his foot down before, or at any other point, but picked his own selfish want. Out of you 3, I think you're the only one actively trying to improve yourself, despite the AH decision to stay quiet for so long. So while it doesn't excuse keeping quiet for so long, it does mean you're not a lost cause.
Poor Op, the main character in everyone else's story, lol! She thinks she is so pivotal to all of the drama between the two families when in truth she and her sister's husband are the only two with little to no fault. Everything that happened was going to come out and HAS come out with little to no involvement on her end. Other than the Hawaii trip, which I blame on the parents for deliberately excluding Op when they knew she had damning evidence against them. Real dummies her family is.
In ALL of these stories, the person that was wronged seems to think keeping contact with the toxic family until they go too far... As if being treated like that their entire life wasn't enough? Anyone with that kind of trauma learns how to cut people out of their life. It's actually said that cutting people out so easily is a negative defense mechanism. I however, have found this particular defense mechanism rather healthy. Blood does not mean family.
Ya I think you are the AH, not because you said something because it took you being left out to expose it. I’m not blaming you but if you can’t do the right thing then you suck
My question is why didn't Leo's sister expose the truth instead of trying to dog on OP. Make it make sense. I do get the controversy around someone hiding the affair but at the same time it was not OP's place. Nobody else was going to face the consequences at that time when she was younger. And instead of the sister doing something to actually help her brother she decided to ruin OP's life, instead of actually addressing the actual problem which was the sister of the OP
Because if she was the one to expose everything, her brother would have hated her. She's no saint either. She wanted OP to blow everything up so she wouldn't have to deal with the fallout.
@armaggedon390 you right. But that was shitty. OP is not her brother's keeper. She could have even done it anonymously. But, she chose to bully OP into submitting. The sister was/is a coward. The brother/ap was a simp/idiot
@@armaggedon390 She could have contacted the sisters husband and handed him some evidence, anonymously.
If that was the case the story would be over OP has to go over 10 minutes in the writing
Revealing the truth must’ve felt like justice, but it’s tough when family is involved.
One of toughest things in life is having to go to war with your own family.....
Leos sister isn't much better
Leo's sister got away with bull/ying op through out college. What a joke. She's almost as bad as Melissa.
OP doesn't realise she payed for her role with her mental health.
Paternity test on Melissa daughter
One thing I don't understand.
Why was OP left out of the Hawaii trip? There is no real reason in the story for that snub.
Extortion killed the family. But the jaded sister, well I cannot blame her. But who's. Hell of a story
i hope they had a Prenuptial agreement
OP, you can't control other's actions. Everyone involved has their part in this sorry tale, and your's is the least. Parents who made an arranged marriage. Sister, who is just a plain gold digger and ho. Sister of your BIL, why don't she tell if she's so righteous. Now the groom, he needs to pull head out there are always signs of cheating.
S 1 op, you didn’t ruin anything, they did. Your sister is incorrect about you being petty. She’s a lying cheater and you just told people. You did nothing wrong. Not one apology for being left out right? Your whole family are narcissists, they will twist everything and never ever take responsibility for their choices. They will always play victim. And your sister trying to make you feel bad about her daughter, well whatever the daughter goes through is all on your sister and her choices. You had nothing to do with it. Your sister is responsible for every choice she has made. If her daughter suffers, it will be Melissa’s fault, not yours. They will gas light the heck out of you, keep blocking them.
NTA. OP made some AH decisions, but is not the AH. I understand how hard it is to see wrong, but not be able to do anything because of the harm to yourself. Everyone saying they would not have looked out for themselves first is lying. Especially since this started when OP was pretty young. In reality, it wasn't OP's responsibility for most of what happened. The sister and Leo cheated. Not OP. Leo's sister was wrong because she could have done something besides bullying OP. Instead of holding her cheating brother accountable, she went after OP. Yes, the reason OP exposed them was wrong, but it still doesn't make OP the AH.
This is a quite entertaining story. Believeable, too.
OP is annoying.
Exposing the conspiracy was a just decision, despite the reasoning to do so. And taking accountability of one's actions and choices is an important ability for self-improvement. And she was between a rock and a hard place, neither decision was really desirable, and keeping quiet was simply easier and had more visible benefits. Unless they are a complete doormat, the majority of people become vindictive and petty when pushed pass their breaking points. Seen plenty of good people become the bad guy when push comes to shove.
Really you're biggest mistake was not preparing earlier in life to go at it alone without your parents support, and then making a decision with no real follow-up plan to protect yourself in the fall-out. Things lined up apparently, but it was because of others taking pity.
The blame for being quiet isn't solely on you though. That sister of Leo is also to blame, she kept quiet and bullied you, because she knew you wouldn't fight back, you were a soft target, an easy target, she faced no real consequences for going after you, not really. She could have taken the leap and tell what she knew. She was in a "in the know" position to do it, but took the coward's way out, and put it all on you, and bullied you to make herself feel better about keeping her mouth shut for "reasons".
Leo was fine being a doormat and waiting only to finally put his foot down and give an ultimatum because he was exposed as a homewrecker, and sacificed so much that he needed something to show for his poor behavior and poor decisions. He can't play the victim when he was complicit in his own torment. He could've put his foot down before, or at any other point, but picked his own selfish want.
Out of you 3, I think you're the only one actively trying to improve yourself, despite the AH decision to stay quiet for so long. So while it doesn't excuse keeping quiet for so long, it does mean you're not a lost cause.
What is the name of this game?
Subway Surfers
Poor Op, the main character in everyone else's story, lol! She thinks she is so pivotal to all of the drama between the two families when in truth she and her sister's husband are the only two with little to no fault. Everything that happened was going to come out and HAS come out with little to no involvement on her end. Other than the Hawaii trip, which I blame on the parents for deliberately excluding Op when they knew she had damning evidence against them. Real dummies her family is.
Get to the point
NTA
In ALL of these stories, the person that was wronged seems to think keeping contact with the toxic family until they go too far... As if being treated like that their entire life wasn't enough? Anyone with that kind of trauma learns how to cut people out of their life. It's actually said that cutting people out so easily is a negative defense mechanism. I however, have found this particular defense mechanism rather healthy. Blood does not mean family.
Ya I think you are the AH, not because you said something because it took you being left out to expose it. I’m not blaming you but if you can’t do the right thing then you suck
Exactly