Every time I hear Iyanla speak I take what she saying, apply it to my own life, and start crying. I can feel her energy through the screen and she is so powerful.
She just don't know, I've used so many tools she's given us. I now approach life intentionally... With my career, family and my marriage. She's made me completely aware of me and my actions.
@@ShutUpAndBumpHow can you be present and accountable to multiple children who live in different households, most likely in different states? There are 24 hours in a day, most of which are taken up by sleeping and working, so how many hours are left for children with different mothers?
@@Coco-uk9tv It’s mothers who live in the house with their kids and don’t see them everyday and nobody calls them out for that. This man has open and active relationships with his kids. That is presence. My father worked over the road for months at a time, but my father was so involved in everything we did that it felt like he was there. Presence is not and has never been solely physical. The man is involved and committed to his children, even with them being in different places. That needs to be commended not corrected.
The fact that her feminine emergy was so STRONG that she literally made look like a child talking to his mother. It feels likeeeee... a lot of pressure. And the VULNERABILITY you see in him. That she BROUGHT OUT OF HIM so effortlessly. Its beautiful. And we need to embody amd bring this feminine energy back so that these men can feel COMFORTABLE enough to open themselves up to talk about this very vulnerable situations.
That a lie. A broken home includes broken people doing broken things. You can have a two parent home but still have an absent father or mother that makes it a toxic environment in the home, and that’s a broken home.
I agree. She shouldn't have made excuses for him, he was open to her wisdom. Kids need both parents in the home (if it's safe). Two things can exist at the same time meaning broken as a one parent home and a home with broken people.
It's necessary. When you ar telling people things they don't want to hear you have to deliver it gently and gradually. Otherwise, they will get defensive. At work, if I'm about to give someone critical feedback, I use the sandwich method. Start with a compliment, then the harsh truth, then end with another compliment. Also, I think Nick Cannon is earnest and trying hs best. Yes, he's made mistakes and he should be held accountable but when you see someone is already struggling, it's good to give them some recognition for the effort and progress that they are making.
You can't heal a lifetime in 38 minutes, and these are your expectations of this sit-down. How sad that you don't realize additional talks are needed and necessary.
This interview stayed in the shallow end of the pool, and it needed to go deep. If you go deep, his status will drown, and make room for the truth. He is actually seeking the truth, and you told him a convenient lie. He is not living in integrity and he is out of order. When he came into your presence, he became your assignment. You had a moral and ethical responsibility to him, and you fumbled the ball.. Look again beloved.
You said it perfectly. What she did here is not good. Nick was clearly in conflict with what he was doing and she needed to give him the truth of the situation. It's not to say all his kids lived in the same home, these are many kids with many different women. He is a NATIONAL THREAT.
I saw what you saw and agree. He's definitely out of order, you can't be an involved father especially with children of the day if your children are in 6 or 7 different households possibly in different states. Financially he prob can but kids nowadays need constantly and sometimes daily interaction and guidance. I only have one and she lives 30 min from me and it's tough. Hopefully she didn't go deeper or give him some real talk because she didn't want to do it publicly which I can respect.
Thank you so much for saying exactly what I was thinking. It’s almost as if she was struggling not to be fanning out for Nick. For a minute there I thought she would go deeper but it didn’t happen. So thanks for explaining this to all of us.😊
Iylana is amazing! She asks the right questions when she sees that the person is not willing to share She doesn't push she opens the door and allow the person to walk through as far as they are capable. You can tell nick hasn't felt heard throughout his life and even now. He's so anxious to speak cause he cuts her off alot and don't allow her to finish her sentences. I bet if she got him off camera she could really help him.
Yeah I disagree with this whole conversation- she is saying it’s about your presence but then validating him for his provision when he obviously cannot be present with all of those kids…I can’t imagine who would purposefully set up their life so that they cannot live with their own children
I agree with you! She was tiptoeing the entire time. I’m a big fan of hers and I’m shocked at how enabling she was on this show. She is usually very accountable and honest. She was very careful not to ruffle his feathers.
Great interview session Nick! Iyanla was a treat for many of us. Naturally people in the room are confusing her being a guest of yours and this not being a “Fix My Life” episode. She highlighted that you all had a private prior conversation, of which no one knows what was said but she touched on it. Thanks for being so transparent about how those negative comments affect you.
First time I’m not feeling Iyanla…Having children with multiple different women outside the home is never a good thing. I could understand if everyone agreed to being polygamous and they were all under the same roof then sure. Keep it real tho. Also being a provider is important and necessary. Don’t try to soften it…if you don’t have money to provide then maybe you should refrain from having children. That’s for both man and woman. I understand everyone’s background and upbringing may be different but the objective shouldn’t be to repeat or create the same dysfunction.
I totally agree. She made excuses for him. There is no way a person man or woman can spend time with all those kids. Even if they were in the same house, someone is going to go neglected.
She’s pandering to male ego’s, she’s making excuses for men who are out here doing the most living in their lowest nature and abandoning families whilst running women into the ground. I love her but I can’t respect the tap dancing around the issues.
@@samuellavon4846 and there is no way that he can please all of those women, as mothers the inevitable emotional neglect will affect everything. Men stop letting what’s between your legs run your lives! At least learn to lead that.
Please invite Dr Joy De Gruy Leary. Shes a specialist on the post traumatic slave syndrome and how past traumas influences our current behaviour as black people and what we could do to mitigate certain negeative behaviors, thoughts and beliefs. She's brilliant 🙌🏾
That is a fantastic idea. As Nick acknowledged, people listen to him and are receptive to his platforms. We need to acknowledge and accept the post-traumatic slave syndrome we as the original family have experienced and continue to experience if we ever expect to heal on a collective level.
Preach it brother no accident Nick as 12 children by multiple women the slavemaster wanted black men to impregnate and have babies with black women for their own profit and workforce and we continuing this now..
It's honestly a really silly theory. I looked up some of her reason's for theorizing that, and she said that the reason black mom's call their kids bad all the time is probably because in slave days they didn't want their kid to be sold, so they would down play how good they were so they wouldn't be perceived as valuable to sell. That's the biggest mental gymnastics I've ever heard in my life. There's no reason to think that other than pure conjecture. I don't see how that's compelling.
"I grew up in a broken home. A 2-parent broken home... with 2 broken people... doing the best they could, and it still wasn't enough" WOWWWWWW "BUT it was exactly what I needed to become what I needed to be."
She just enabled the shit out of this man and any other man listening. Kids don't know about money, they want their fathers. Please just don't throw money at children.
I concur, where is the accountability.The price which comes with trauma for children seeing their daddy once in a while is real. Not even mentioning the risks involved in having multiple sexual partners.No this interview did not touch on the real issue.
I agree with you! She was tiptoeing the entire time. I’m a big fan of hers and I’m shocked at how enabling she was on this show. She is usually very accountable and honest. She was very careful not to ruffle his feathers.
The annointing on Dr. Iyanla Vanzant is something different, when I think of how much you mean to us - Deepest Love & Respect oh how I Love You 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
I feel very similar to Iyanla in the way that she speaks about honoring her grandmother. Many of our grandparents overcame unspeakable adversity to pave the way for us-we must honor ourselves in their name.
I'm SO glad you started this page. I was an avid listener on cannon class. So I'm glad that you didn't stop. We need a safe space to listen learn and have civil discourse ❤ thank you for using your platform to elevate
Absolutely! I really feel men (BLACK MEN) do not use their words enough. I feel like everything should be civil and anything otherwise is barbaric...like Jan 6. I once had a man tell me that he wish he could beat my ass cuz of my words......and I wasn't even as LEATHAL as I could have been in what I told him.
I love to see Nick in a position of learning,being open to different perspectives, and vulnerable. Excited to see his growth and I don’t think he gets enough credit as a man whose willing to show up and say I may not be perfect but this is who I am and I’m willing to grow through it..instead of take it
THIS because yall are TEARING THIS MAN DOWN in these comments and it's crazy because at least he's OPEN to conversation, suggestion, and understanding.
I’m a fan of both of them, lovely people… but this conversation was so dishonest. It was filled with so many excuses. The eternal stroking of Black men’s ego as a means of unity is what is destroying him. She should have told him the truth x
I'm glad I read all these comments cause for a minute I stopped watching it. Cause why on earth is she exacerbating this. I had to stop and read the comments or room. 🤦🏾♀️
Lets be real..... Its really nice that he is financially able to take care of all of these children..... But in support of mommas everywhere....There are some basic things that occur every day that are things that both parents share in, that Nick will hardly if ever experience. I think this acceptance of this process is wreckless with the mothers (even though they agreed or not) and children.
@@akalady03 I pray since she was his wife that he didn't have this ideology then. For some reason I can't see her going for that. Which might be why they divorced.... Just speculating...
But the truth is there have been more single parents than couples it’s not easy to learn that process of communication with each other and raise kids. Many couples don’t seek counseling to know how to parent as one parent mind instead of two separate people. One band one sound…
She also relates to him through her own childhood. She stated she was promiscuous, so maybe her inner child sees an innocence in his inner child and felt he needed that gentleness to forgive himself. He takes accountability, and he admits he is trying to discover himself so he can see how he can grow. Her other clients many times weren't honest or humble enough to tap into their inner child, so she needed to apply tough love so she could receive that break thru. Which Nick has reached. Pressure serves a purpose and once they've reached it, she also turns gentle in those moments. But gentleness also serves a purpose. The key is to focus on what she's applying those different strategies to, rather than who she's applying those methods to. I wish everyone's inner child could be healed, and I love her dedication to help others. ❤
Its a conversation carefully managed to help Nick decide what he is and what he needs to do. Iyanla does not need to tell Nick things Nick already knows!!! She has a clear purpose here and to break him down but to lift him up and to help him address it with dignity.
If he was a broke Black man ,with multiple children ,Iyana would not be praising him for creating broken homes. She says that she is a Christian yet is supporting his ungodly behavior. Society always gives the rich a pass. He is wrong for doing this to his children.
I agree with you! She was tiptoeing the entire time. I’m a big fan of hers and I’m shocked at how enabling she was on this show. She is usually very accountable and honest. She was very careful not to ruffle his feathers.
Iyanla is NOT a Christian. She's a Yoruba Priestess, going on her knees to the ancestors. Nothing Christian/Christ-like about that. Christians need to be leery of the people who say they 'pray'. Who are they praying to?! ...and Nick needs to pick a side! It's difficult for one who says they're a Christian to receive beneficial Christian instruction when you dibble and dabble in ALL things NOT Christian - women, counsel, etc.
@paulachinn6306 Incorrect! If we claim Christian, we get to call each other out on our stuff/issues. ...and 'Christian' comes out of many people's mouths, but those same people simultaneously practice a conglomerate of other beliefs that contradict the Christian faith.
Don’t know him personally but she did share with him the impact of not having a father in her life . And how deep the wound goes. So he is very aware how a broken home affects children.
All them kids gone care about is your relationship with them. Give them their individual love and be fair... they'll understand everything else with time.. you're doing a great job providing. Be proud of yourself
Thank you, Nick and Dr. Vanzant for your honesty and transparency. We have so many commonalities in our lives in general. I always say, "We All Live In The Same House, Just Different Locations!" Thank you, Dr. Vanzant for speaking to men this year. We So Need It! Continued Blessings ❤❤
Great conversation! I love me some Iyanla. I went to see her lecture a while back. Somebody had some cut onions near me for sure. She speaks to the spirit. As far as Nick situation, the only thing I can say is he will miss moments with his kids and there will be times he can't be vocal when his voice is needed due to his absence. As a father and a son of an absent father I know the necessity of being present in the home. I also know the example I display to my baby when she sees her daddy everyday. It's important but that's my perspective
So beautifully said by Dr Iyanla Vanzant and that’s true Iya means mother in Iorubá and some other Afrikan languages. I loved how she beautifully laid out Afrikan culture OUR culture right there. We’ve been displaced and disconnected from our roots and if we only look at ourselves through the lens of our culture we would rapidly understand who we are and our purpose. Keep shining king! And follow your purpose. Àṣẹ 🙏🏿✨
The last part.. I needed it so bad😭😭 Thank you YeYe. Our men need this encouragement love and support and I want to join you in this journey❤️🙌🏾🙏🏾🥹 praying for the leaders of our “culture” 💝
Nick don't let this wear you down, no heaviness baby boy.. you are going to be leaving a legacy for all those children and future grand and great children... rejoice and be happy. As she said, letting social media tearing you down! No way!
He sought accountability from a person he respects and honors, but she enabled his poor choices. He admitted that he’s still figuring it out, I respect his honesty. However, she did him a grave disservice in not holding him accountable. Now, he’s justified in continuing in error. God help us. Smh
Do the women he has children with have any accountability? They allowed him to impregnate them for financial reasons. Black women have a huge history of having children out of wedlock and they seem to be fine with it. They are good with being baby mamas instead of wives. I'm just saying.
@@flojohighperformancemotorc6263 the public absolutely held them accountable. They too are a huge part of the problem and not innocent in this situation by any means. However, Nick has said it publicly and without shame or remorse that he is INTENTIONALLY having these babies with multiple women that he literally is unable to be with simultaneously. He also admitted in this video that “he’s still figuring it out”. Suggesting that he is unsure of why he’s making such choices and what consequences they ultimately can have on everyone involved. Especially, on those innocent babies. Which makes his actions that more dangerous for his children, the women ignorantly participating and the community as a whole.
Iyanla only holds women accountable. She will strip a woman of all esteem & tell her how horrible she is all while demonstrating an unwarranted amount of patience and compassion for men who make poor choices repeatedly
She’s coddling him. It’s disgusting 🤦🏽♀️ Clearly , he wants the truth that’s why he kept Offering his own With asking for her to offer another perspective and just like many black “Mothers” they lie to and coddle men. She ripped Eboni K. Williams a new asshole for wanting a man who’s her suitor. But a man who ran through woman and created this circus she rationalized why it made sense. Even though this is nothing new or anything our community hasn’t seen. A man with multiple children…rather they can take care of them or not.
Thank ya'll so much! Black men and their emotionality and self-perception are in need of view and review. We are hurting out here, and as an educator, I see how systems are not teaching our boys who they are. And, when you do teach them about the lion inside them, you get beat down and negatively narrated. The psychological beating is hard to deal with. And when you tell Black women working in spaces raising Black boys, you are told that you can't feel, you can't get hurt, and you can't exist beyond what they make of you. Going through that daily is exhausting. Thank you for sharing and letting us Black men know that were are human and feel. Blessings to you both.
In reading the below comments, most of you missed what Iyanla Vanzant was saying. She stroked his ego while telling him the truth, and he listened. If she had beat him over the head, he would have shut down.
Great session. It was so good to see and hear Nick feel he was in a safe enough space and trusted himself and the process. Thank you Dr. Vanzant for creating that space. We need more of creating this space for all Black men who are striving to be their perfectly imperfect selves. Give them room to stand firmly in their integrity to be wholly present for their children. Respect.
You are creating broken families and if you brought this lady to justify your behavior so you sleep better at night, good on you Nick and sweet dreaming!
Agree bigger purpose. He's taking care of his responsibility accountable self aware Im glad she mention characteristics of broke home-absent love, not safe, unsecure, not orderly❤
I appreciate this conversation!! So many of us our healing the broken version of ourselves. I pray we all learn to give each other grace. No one person has it all figured out!
36:20 - 36:36 “Take Care of yourself… What’s your intention?” Don’t just go to therapy.” I needed that and your silence to feel this and take it in. Thank you, for uploading this whole episode ‘Reincarnated King’ N. Cannon. Ultra relatable session.
This is so beautiful. I love the topic of living in truth. We are also so unique, created by the highest without boundaries of what that can be, loved unconditionally. Self acceptance, realizations.
This comment comes from a place of facts and not side-eye judgement. Access to excess speaks to a sense of feeling like there can't be commitment to one for fear of missing out on something else. Due to imperfection, there will never be the perfect mate, however, there can be one that's perfect for you. While the integrity may be present as far as transparency and not hiding the fact that there are multiple kids by multiple women, there is still the fact that the women have to be there all the time for their children, and in this case Nick can't be because it's not possible unless all the women and children live together in the same place. In the grand scheme of things, it's not fair to the women or the kids. We have to be responsible in our decisions, both men AND women and think about the effect those decisions have on others.
The deepest in which I love this woman an respect nick....please I hope you guys have many a more conversations on this platform because it's needed an welcomed an feeding my spirit as I'm sure its doing for many others. ❤❤❤
Loved watching this. Nick comes across sad and hurt. I hope he allows God to guide him through his journey in life, he’s searching for someone to comfort him.
Very powerful info, thanks for sharing this great interaction with Ms.Vanzant. As a Single father myself I struggle with trying to balance everything going on with my life. But after hearing and listening to this episode, I feel a bit more reassured that I’m on the right track and continuing to do the work on myself. Thank You and I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of this interview.
Speaking as a Bahamian 🇧🇸 raised in Ohio, my dad always provided for me and his grandson regardless. I remember him asking me not to tell my mom ANYTHING, now it makes sense. The kicker was both remarried, but mom left my dad. I know she regretted it, wished they could’ve amended the relationship. Than I wouldn’t have my siblings in his new marriage, grateful for reflection 💯
I expected so much more from Ms Iynala, she's spent so many years holding men like Nick Cannon accountable for their irresponsible behavoiur. At this point I'm convinced theres a fat cheque involved for Ms Iynala because why would you say 'What if you are the re-incarnation of some great king?. This PR campaign to tidy up Nick's image is sickening. I'm really dissapointed.
lol 😂 nah, you have to take into account, the name of the show. It’s “counsel” culture, not “cancel” culture. She understands that and she revealed her skeletons to him, to let him know it’s okay. So, she’s not coming on there to attack him, she came on there to understand him, comfort him, and make him understand his own behavior. It’s okay, you can’t fuss and fight with everybody to get a point across. She handled this very well. Umar and all of his guest, let him off the hook.
Well it’s his show his house so to speak she did say she wasn’t going to drag him and he is aware of this ridiculous situation. She is not his mother and she gave him a little push. Main thing he is aware.
It’s amazing how the power at be took down the cannon class because it was enlightening it’s viewers but wilding out is great as long as we joke about each other.
Awww ❤ young Blood,Papa/Baba Nick thank you for being so vulnerable, I needed to hear this today 🙏 And as for my Queen, @iyanla V. Here in my language we'll tell you Aksanti sana for your teaching, I am from the East of Congo 🇨🇩 in Goma exactly. This Counsel culture podcast will help me coach lots of broken youngsters here in Congo-Kinshasa and East of Congo (Goma )may God continue to use both of you in this world. Thank you for the food of our soul ❤️
I love Iyanla . And I love that Nick says all his kids were intentional. And every mother wanted to be a great mother and a conversation was had. I applaud him. He is creating his own family his own way. Multiple women and multiple kids is an African way of living . But most can’t comprehend this. Or most don’t like it because it was done to them in the wrong way. Meaning their father had multiple children multiple women and were not active in their lives. He is active in all they lives
Nick somewhere in your upbringing you were raised right to know that with your platform there comes accountability. Kudos to you for not compromising on knowing that despite not having it all figured out. Cece Winans one of the most amazing examples and astute women of God that has NEVER compromised who she is for her platform has also said the same “with influence comes responsibility”
Love it need more of this healthy space for men and women of color to experience their experience so we can all understand each others pain and HEAL TOGETHER!!!!
🙏🏾🙋🏾 I prayed with my Grandmother without debating about Jude 1:24-25 relating to HIM? What is your interpretation of Revelation 1:5 or Revelation 5:5-8.
In the community of people in all its ethnicities, sex isn’t the only form of love there is. The need to please people or to feel loved leads towards a path of unworthiness and manipulating the identity of deservingness. We’re blossoming without the falsehood of those trauma addictions and no longer blaming ourselves to the attachment of fear and all of its tricks the devil likes to play with. I am becoming stronger in who I am. 💜🦋🎀
I like how she explained that. Love Iyanla. My BDs don't provide financially at all but I don't keep them from seeing or talking to their children. That's mean. As they grow older they know what's really going on because they see it. I don't have to say a thing.
I'm disppointed in this conversation. I don't feel that she was as honest and she could have been. I do believe that there was a huge level of ego stroking being done.
Iyanla wasn't speaking this nicely to Jay Williams (the guy with the 34 children by 17 different women) on her show 10 years ago. She was ripping Jay a whole new one the entire time and "blowing his world up" as she puts it. She made Jay cry, throw stuff and walk off the set by the way she was talking to him. I guess if you're rich and famous, it's okay with her for a man to have multiple children with multiple women. But, if you're a "nobody" out here doing the same thing, she's gonna get you.
This is beyond beautiful and such a special moment 💜💜💜 Thank You so much for allowing us into your personal space Nick, so many people will heal with this 💞💗💕
alot of these comments are speaking from how THEY wanted Iyanla to come for him. As an elder, I think she knew and understood how to best reach him. Our job is not to judge him. HE has to decide for himself where his true north lies. And she asked him those questions. She ask him "what would your grandmother think, are you ashamed of anything you have done" etc. You dont have to come for someone's neck to get them to be introspective. He has to determine for himself if he has done anything inappropriate, maladaptive etc. She can't convivence him of that. That is an internal decision he has to make for the self.
Every time I hear Iyanla speak I take what she saying, apply it to my own life, and start crying. I can feel her energy through the screen and she is so powerful.
She just don't know, I've used so many tools she's given us. I now approach life intentionally... With my career, family and my marriage. She's made me completely aware of me and my actions.
What about this interview would you apply to your own life?
You should apply God's word to your life. Not Iyanla because people might forget she's not God.
Absolutely! I just found out she has a podcast! I love her no nonsense approach
Yes yes yes to this comment! I can relate, I love her!
When Iyanla speaks, it’s like a pinball in a machine hitting so many things in me. ✊🏾❤️💪🏾
💯👍
YEP. But she didn't go in on Nick as she would have in soo many other brothers. Hmmmm.
I get chills! She is amazing!
Preachhhh!
❤
I concur Iyanla. “A father has to be a demonstration of accountability, integrity and mastery.” This is a great and timely conversation.
💯👍
I agree 💯💯🙌🏾💯💯
SHE SHOULD’VE SAID MORE.. he still doesn’t get it, and walked away from this thinking he’s a good father when HE IS NOT.
@@Cereal_kwilla wow! Seems like you Know Nick?😳
@@Cereal_kwilla The Wrong Dr. for interview.
Put iyanla an dr umar in the same room so you can break the Internet. 1 video 3 hours. Boom 💥
Definitely
3 videos, 1 hour each session because my ADHD can’t handle that many hours in one session 😂
I agree! Power House!
This! The only thing is the conversation would have to be centered on a topic, so they're not all over the place.
@@imaniwilliams1905 you can always take a break between❤❤
I love how she's holding him up and loving him to wellness
But not holding him accountable.
Yet she couldn't hold Eboni up and love her to wellness.
So do I. This is why I follow and listen to what she says intentionally everytime.
@@filmadcamp1512What was Ebony's part in that?
@@feebabyblue What part would Eboni have in Iyanla's response? 🧐
She was very respectful. Because if this was her show, she would’ve given him the business about having multiple children 😂😂
She would have tore him up.
But he’s a present and accountable father. Why would she need to “tear him up”?
😅 For Real..
@@ShutUpAndBumpHow can you be present and accountable to multiple children who live in different households, most likely in different states? There are 24 hours in a day, most of which are taken up by sleeping and working, so how many hours are left for children with different mothers?
@@Coco-uk9tv It’s mothers who live in the house with their kids and don’t see them everyday and nobody calls them out for that. This man has open and active relationships with his kids. That is presence. My father worked over the road for months at a time, but my father was so involved in everything we did that it felt like he was there. Presence is not and has never been solely physical. The man is involved and committed to his children, even with them being in different places. That needs to be commended not corrected.
The fact that her feminine emergy was so STRONG that she literally made look like a child talking to his mother. It feels likeeeee... a lot of pressure. And the VULNERABILITY you see in him. That she BROUGHT OUT OF HIM so effortlessly. Its beautiful. And we need to embody amd bring this feminine energy back so that these men can feel COMFORTABLE enough to open themselves up to talk about this very vulnerable situations.
A broken home is a home without both parents and a father that willingly decided to make it a broken home. Stop coddling him Iyanla!
That a lie. A broken home includes broken people doing broken things. You can have a two parent home but still have an absent father or mother that makes it a toxic environment in the home, and that’s a broken home.
@@StraightUp101thank you.
@@StraightUp101💯
no that's an opinion, not a fact. Don't place your broken misunderstanding on him.
I agree. She shouldn't have made excuses for him, he was open to her wisdom. Kids need both parents in the home (if it's safe). Two things can exist at the same time meaning broken as a one parent home and a home with broken people.
Some truth mixed in with ego stroking 🤦🏾♀️
It's necessary. When you ar telling people things they don't want to hear you have to deliver it gently and gradually. Otherwise, they will get defensive. At work, if I'm about to give someone critical feedback, I use the sandwich method. Start with a compliment, then the harsh truth, then end with another compliment.
Also, I think Nick Cannon is earnest and trying hs best. Yes, he's made mistakes and he should be held accountable but when you see someone is already struggling, it's good to give them some recognition for the effort and progress that they are making.
You can't heal a lifetime in 38 minutes, and these are your expectations of this sit-down. How sad that you don't realize additional talks are needed and necessary.
@@feebabyblue❤❤❤
Complimenting or acknowledging a persons strengths is not the same as ego stroking!
AGREED
I love this kind of talking and listening. Our people need to heal and listen to each other. This is good to see and hear.
Nick are creating broken homes!
I agree. We are so used to “real talk” and conflict driven discussions that when we hear healthy conversations, we automatically rush to judgment.
This interview stayed in the shallow end of the pool, and it needed to go deep. If you go deep, his status will drown, and make room for the truth. He is actually seeking the truth, and you told him a convenient lie. He is not living in integrity and he is out of order. When he came into your presence, he became your assignment. You had a moral and ethical responsibility to him, and you fumbled the ball.. Look again beloved.
You said it perfectly. What she did here is not good. Nick was clearly in conflict with what he was doing and she needed to give him the truth of the situation. It's not to say all his kids lived in the same home, these are many kids with many different women. He is a NATIONAL THREAT.
I agree so hard!
I saw what you saw and agree. He's definitely out of order, you can't be an involved father especially with children of the day if your children are in 6 or 7 different households possibly in different states. Financially he prob can but kids nowadays need constantly and sometimes daily interaction and guidance. I only have one and she lives 30 min from me and it's tough.
Hopefully she didn't go deeper or give him some real talk because she didn't want to do it publicly which I can respect.
Thank you so much for saying exactly what I was thinking. It’s almost as if she was struggling not to be fanning out for Nick. For a minute there I thought she would go deeper but it didn’t happen. So thanks for explaining this to all of us.😊
Iylana is amazing! She asks the right questions when she sees that the person is not willing to share She doesn't push she opens the door and allow the person to walk through as far as they are capable. You can tell nick hasn't felt heard throughout his life and even now. He's so anxious to speak cause he cuts her off alot and don't allow her to finish her sentences. I bet if she got him off camera she could really help him.
No, he is not in integrity with himself. That’s why he keeps asking these questions.
Yeah I disagree with this whole conversation- she is saying it’s about your presence but then validating him for his provision when he obviously cannot be present with all of those kids…I can’t imagine who would purposefully set up their life so that they cannot live with their own children
@@bewiesinsalone1874maybe they don’t get along with their partner not hard to understand
Periodt!
I agree with you! She was tiptoeing the entire time. I’m a big fan of hers and I’m shocked at how enabling she was on this show. She is usually very accountable and honest. She was very careful not to ruffle his feathers.
@@mellissagoodgerI so agree
Great interview session Nick! Iyanla was a treat for many of us. Naturally people in the room are confusing her being a guest of yours and this not being a “Fix My Life” episode. She highlighted that you all had a private prior conversation, of which no one knows what was said but she touched on it. Thanks for being so transparent about how those negative comments affect you.
Exactly this is not her show. Thank you
I love her tenderness with the black male ! Lifting them up rather than tearing them down as the world does ! She’s the GOAT!
She's a Mammie!
The word you’re looking for is coddling
@@Coco-uk9tvexactly! She doesn’t show women the same tenderness she shows grown ass men and it’s sick tbh.
First time I’m not feeling Iyanla…Having children with multiple different women outside the home is never a good thing. I could understand if everyone agreed to being polygamous and they were all under the same roof then sure. Keep it real tho. Also being a provider is important and necessary. Don’t try to soften it…if you don’t have money to provide then maybe you should refrain from having children. That’s for both man and woman. I understand everyone’s background and upbringing may be different but the objective shouldn’t be to repeat or create the same dysfunction.
I totally agree. She made excuses for him. There is no way a person man or woman can spend time with all those kids. Even if they were in the same house, someone is going to go neglected.
Yep!!
She’s pandering to male ego’s, she’s making excuses for men who are out here doing the most living in their lowest nature and abandoning families whilst running women into the ground. I love her but I can’t respect the tap dancing around the issues.
She's a mammy
@@samuellavon4846 and there is no way that he can please all of those women, as mothers the inevitable emotional neglect will affect everything. Men stop letting what’s between your legs run your lives! At least learn to lead that.
Please invite Dr Joy De Gruy Leary. Shes a specialist on the post traumatic slave syndrome and how past traumas influences our current behaviour as black people and what we could do to mitigate certain negeative behaviors, thoughts and beliefs. She's brilliant 🙌🏾
Definitely.
I love her, she’s 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
That is a fantastic idea. As Nick acknowledged, people listen to him and are receptive to his platforms. We need to acknowledge and accept the post-traumatic slave syndrome we as the original family have experienced and continue to experience if we ever expect to heal on a collective level.
Preach it brother no accident Nick as 12 children by multiple women the slavemaster wanted black men to impregnate and have babies with black women for their own profit and workforce and we continuing this now..
It's honestly a really silly theory. I looked up some of her reason's for theorizing that, and she said that the reason black mom's call their kids bad all the time is probably because in slave days they didn't want their kid to be sold, so they would down play how good they were so they wouldn't be perceived as valuable to sell. That's the biggest mental gymnastics I've ever heard in my life. There's no reason to think that other than pure conjecture. I don't see how that's compelling.
"I grew up in a broken home. A 2-parent broken home... with 2 broken people... doing the best they could, and it still wasn't enough" WOWWWWWW "BUT it was exactly what I needed to become what I needed to be."
The fabric of the black family has been broken for a long time ,Just because you're wealthy doesn't mean you have to have multiple babies
She just enabled the shit out of this man and any other man listening. Kids don't know about money, they want their fathers. Please just don't throw money at children.
I concur, where is the accountability.The price which comes with trauma for children seeing their daddy once in a while is real. Not even mentioning the risks involved in having multiple sexual partners.No this interview did not touch on the real issue.
@@kgomotsomahlangu2301 you said it best🙏🏾
@@Justonevideoplease love your perspective. On point. She should be ashamed of herself
Not the Iyanla that I'm accustomed to hearing. Don't allow celebrity to change the narrative.
I agree with you! She was tiptoeing the entire time. I’m a big fan of hers and I’m shocked at how enabling she was on this show. She is usually very accountable and honest. She was very careful not to ruffle his feathers.
The annointing on Dr. Iyanla Vanzant is something different, when I think of how much you mean to us - Deepest Love & Respect oh how I Love You 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
This conversation will set alot of people free 😊
I feel very similar to Iyanla in the way that she speaks about honoring her grandmother. Many of our grandparents overcame unspeakable adversity to pave the way for us-we must honor ourselves in their name.
I'm SO glad you started this page. I was an avid listener on cannon class. So I'm glad that you didn't stop. We need a safe space to listen learn and have civil discourse ❤ thank you for using your platform to elevate
Absolutely! I really feel men (BLACK MEN) do not use their words enough. I feel like everything should be civil and anything otherwise is barbaric...like Jan 6. I once had a man tell me that he wish he could beat my ass cuz of my words......and I wasn't even as LEATHAL as I could have been in what I told him.
I love to see Nick in a position of learning,being open to different perspectives, and vulnerable. Excited to see his growth and I don’t think he gets enough credit as a man whose willing to show up and say I may not be perfect but this is who I am and I’m willing to grow through it..instead of take it
I totally agree with you 👍
This!
THIS because yall are TEARING THIS MAN DOWN in these comments and it's crazy because at least he's OPEN to conversation, suggestion, and understanding.
Well said! And he is bringing in people of high caliber, in which they are modeling the behavior he is probably seeking 😊
I’m a fan of both of them, lovely people… but this conversation was so dishonest. It was filled with so many excuses. The eternal stroking of Black men’s ego as a means of unity is what is destroying him. She should have told him the truth x
Literally!
You're 100% correct.
I'm glad I read all these comments cause for a minute I stopped watching it. Cause why on earth is she exacerbating this. I had to stop and read the comments or room. 🤦🏾♀️
Lets be real..... Its really nice that he is financially able to take care of all of these children..... But in support of mommas everywhere....There are some basic things that occur every day that are things that both parents share in, that Nick will hardly if ever experience. I think this acceptance of this process is wreckless with the mothers (even though they agreed or not) and children.
All of this. He's not physically able to be there in so many different households. There's no reason to placate him on this.
I’m embarrassed for Mariah.
@@akalady03 I pray since she was his wife that he didn't have this ideology then. For some reason I can't see her going for that. Which might be why they divorced.... Just speculating...
But the truth is there have been more single parents than couples it’s not easy to learn that process of communication with each other and raise kids. Many couples don’t seek counseling to know how to parent as one parent mind instead of two separate people. One band one sound…
When she had her show, she out everybody's feet to the fire yet she's real gentle with Nick. Hmmm
Maybe she learned from her previous experiences and is doing something different moving forward. Time will tell.
@@rhondab4655 Perhaps
I appreciate her gentleness.
She also relates to him through her own childhood. She stated she was promiscuous, so maybe her inner child sees an innocence in his inner child and felt he needed that gentleness to forgive himself. He takes accountability, and he admits he is trying to discover himself so he can see how he can grow. Her other clients many times weren't honest or humble enough to tap into their inner child, so she needed to apply tough love so she could receive that break thru. Which Nick has reached. Pressure serves a purpose and once they've reached it, she also turns gentle in those moments. But gentleness also serves a purpose. The key is to focus on what she's applying those different strategies to, rather than who she's applying those methods to.
I wish everyone's inner child could be healed, and I love her dedication to help others. ❤
@@nneoma6106 Perhaps. Appreciate your perspective
I have admired, respected Iyanla Vanzant for years, I love the quite subtle way she is speaking to Nick Cannon, I pray he's receiving it, 🙏 ❤😂😊😊😊😊
Its a conversation carefully managed to help Nick decide what he is and what he needs to do. Iyanla does not need to tell Nick things Nick already knows!!! She has a clear purpose here and to break him down but to lift him up and to help him address it with dignity.
If he was a broke Black man ,with multiple children ,Iyana would not be praising him for creating broken homes. She says that she is a Christian yet is supporting his ungodly behavior. Society always gives the rich a pass. He is wrong for doing this to his children.
I agree with you! She was tiptoeing the entire time. I’m a big fan of hers and I’m shocked at how enabling she was on this show. She is usually very accountable and honest. She was very careful not to ruffle his feathers.
She’s not a Christian
Iyanla is NOT a Christian. She's a Yoruba Priestess, going on her knees to the ancestors. Nothing Christian/Christ-like about that.
Christians need to be leery of the people who say they 'pray'. Who are they praying to?!
...and Nick needs to pick a side! It's difficult for one who says they're a Christian to receive beneficial Christian instruction when you dibble and dabble in ALL things NOT Christian - women, counsel, etc.
@iWillBeGr8r Well that is what comes out of her mouth sometimes. But God is the judge of all.
@paulachinn6306 Incorrect! If we claim Christian, we get to call each other out on our stuff/issues.
...and 'Christian' comes out of many people's mouths, but those same people simultaneously practice a conglomerate of other beliefs that contradict the Christian faith.
Don’t know him personally but she did share with him the impact of not having a father in her life . And how deep the wound goes. So he is very aware how a broken home affects children.
All them kids gone care about is your relationship with them. Give them their individual love and be fair... they'll understand everything else with time.. you're doing a great job providing. Be proud of yourself
Mammy
Wrong channel. Why don’t you go back to cy..over nvm
@@aquarius-woman5364.
@@aquarius-woman5364 Trick
@@aquarius-woman5364 trick
thank you.
Thank you, Nick and Dr. Vanzant for your honesty and transparency. We have so many commonalities in our lives in general.
I always say, "We All Live In The Same House, Just Different Locations!"
Thank you, Dr. Vanzant for speaking to men this year. We So Need It!
Continued Blessings ❤❤
As a woman, I have learned quite a lot from this conversation
Great conversation! I love me some Iyanla. I went to see her lecture a while back. Somebody had some cut onions near me for sure. She speaks to the spirit. As far as Nick situation, the only thing I can say is he will miss moments with his kids and there will be times he can't be vocal when his voice is needed due to his absence. As a father and a son of an absent father I know the necessity of being present in the home. I also know the example I display to my baby when she sees her daddy everyday. It's important but that's my perspective
So beautifully said by Dr Iyanla Vanzant and that’s true Iya means mother in Iorubá and some other Afrikan languages. I loved how she beautifully laid out Afrikan culture OUR culture right there. We’ve been displaced and disconnected from our roots and if we only look at ourselves through the lens of our culture we would rapidly understand who we are and our purpose.
Keep shining king! And follow your purpose. Àṣẹ 🙏🏿✨
I appreciate this platform and conversations ❤Thank you
The last part.. I needed it so bad😭😭 Thank you YeYe. Our men need this encouragement love and support and I want to join you in this journey❤️🙌🏾🙏🏾🥹 praying for the leaders of our “culture” 💝
Nick don't let this wear you down, no heaviness baby boy.. you are going to be leaving a legacy for all those children and future grand and great children... rejoice and be happy. As she said, letting social media tearing you down! No way!
love this, single mother of 4 boys and this Definitely Spoke to and uplifted me, and btw Im a Truck driver LMAO!!
He sought accountability from a person he respects and honors, but she enabled his poor choices. He admitted that he’s still figuring it out, I respect his honesty. However, she did him a grave disservice in not holding him accountable. Now, he’s justified in continuing in error. God help us. Smh
Do the women he has children with have any accountability? They allowed him to impregnate them for financial reasons. Black women have a huge history of having children out of wedlock and they seem to be fine with it. They are good with being baby mamas instead of wives. I'm just saying.
@@flojohighperformancemotorc6263 the public absolutely held them accountable. They too are a huge part of the problem and not innocent in this situation by any means. However, Nick has said it publicly and without shame or remorse that he is INTENTIONALLY having these babies with multiple women that he literally is unable to be with simultaneously. He also admitted in this video that “he’s still figuring it out”. Suggesting that he is unsure of why he’s making such choices and what consequences they ultimately can have on everyone involved. Especially, on those innocent babies. Which makes his actions that more dangerous for his children, the women ignorantly participating and the community as a whole.
Iyanla only holds women accountable. She will strip a woman of all esteem & tell her how horrible she is all while demonstrating an unwarranted amount of patience and compassion for men who make poor choices repeatedly
@@EargasmEnt I concur!
Aww the cheek kiss at the end.I love it!Black men need that love and support ❤️
“A single parent home is not a broken home” ❤❤❤
She’s coddling him. It’s disgusting 🤦🏽♀️
Clearly , he wants the truth that’s why he kept
Offering his own
With asking for her to offer another perspective and just like many black
“Mothers” they lie to and coddle men.
She ripped Eboni K. Williams a new asshole for wanting a man who’s her suitor. But a man who ran through woman and created this circus she rationalized why it made sense.
Even though this is nothing new or anything our community hasn’t seen. A man with multiple children…rather they can take care of them or not.
You should probably listen. This women possesses a lot of knowledge
What’s done is done he feels bad apparently things are not working smoothly and possibly…possibly he has spread himself too thin😮
Thank ya'll so much! Black men and their emotionality and self-perception are in need of view and review. We are hurting out here, and as an educator, I see how systems are not teaching our boys who they are. And, when you do teach them about the lion inside them, you get beat down and negatively narrated. The psychological beating is hard to deal with. And when you tell Black women working in spaces raising Black boys, you are told that you can't feel, you can't get hurt, and you can't exist beyond what they make of you. Going through that daily is exhausting. Thank you for sharing and letting us Black men know that were are human and feel. Blessings to you both.
In reading the below comments, most of you missed what Iyanla Vanzant was saying. She stroked his ego while telling him the truth, and he listened. If she had beat him over the head, he would have shut down.
Great session. It was so good to see and hear Nick feel he was in a safe enough space and trusted himself and the process. Thank you Dr. Vanzant for creating that space. We need more of creating this space for all Black men who are striving to be their perfectly imperfect selves. Give them room to stand firmly in their integrity to be wholly present for their children. Respect.
You are creating broken families and if you brought this lady to justify your behavior so you sleep better at night, good on you Nick and sweet dreaming!
Beautifully definitive. An explanation of Intergrity that's clear an impactful. Greatful for this conversation.
Agree bigger purpose. He's taking care of his responsibility accountable self aware
Im glad she mention characteristics of broke home-absent love, not safe, unsecure, not orderly❤
I just love her 😍 Beloved Mother Iyanla , her very essence flows pure through the screen ! ❤️ Great conversation. Nick is so awesome.
Soooo good! This show definitely needed for truth, vulnerability, and healing. 🙏🏽❤️👏🏽
I appreciate this conversation!! So many of us our healing the broken version of ourselves. I pray we all learn to give each other grace. No one person has it all figured out!
36:20 - 36:36 “Take Care of yourself… What’s your intention?” Don’t just go to therapy.” I needed that and your silence to feel this and take it in. Thank you, for uploading this whole episode ‘Reincarnated King’ N. Cannon. Ultra relatable session.
This is so beautiful. I love the topic of living in truth. We are also so unique, created by the highest without boundaries of what that can be, loved unconditionally. Self acceptance, realizations.
I received this message as if I was at a therapy session ❤
This comment comes from a place of facts and not side-eye judgement. Access to excess speaks to a sense of feeling like there can't be commitment to one for fear of missing out on something else. Due to imperfection, there will never be the perfect mate, however, there can be one that's perfect for you. While the integrity may be present as far as transparency and not hiding the fact that there are multiple kids by multiple women, there is still the fact that the women have to be there all the time for their children, and in this case Nick can't be because it's not possible unless all the women and children live together in the same place. In the grand scheme of things, it's not fair to the women or the kids. We have to be responsible in our decisions, both men AND women and think about the effect those decisions have on others.
Thank you for commenting this
However, all the women and Nick went into this situation aware of all the pros and cons. So they have to deal with it.
Beautiful transparency, real talk!
Love This!!! Excited To See More
Dear Nick,
Your children are your Biggest Blessings, you are so lucky to have each of them and they are lucky to have you 💜💜💜
Why is you lying 😂
And it was exactly what I needed to become who I am
Nick needs this conversation.....
Something about myself was explained today. Thank you.
The deepest in which I love this woman an respect nick....please I hope you guys have many a more conversations on this platform because it's needed an welcomed an feeding my spirit as I'm sure its doing for many others. ❤❤❤
This was such a blessing Iyanla has helped me grow so much ❤ Thanks Nick
After listening to her, you remember who you are. King/Queen of a divine being.
Loved watching this. Nick comes across sad and hurt. I hope he allows God to guide him through his journey in life, he’s searching for someone to comfort him.
So why wasn't the father of 34 kids the "reincarnation of the King"?
Very powerful info, thanks for sharing this great interaction with Ms.Vanzant. As a Single father myself I struggle with trying to balance everything going on with my life. But after hearing and listening to this episode, I feel a bit more reassured that I’m on the right track and continuing to do the work on myself. Thank You and I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of this interview.
This was awesome!!! So much I needed and got from it. Thank you Nick for being vulnerable and transparent publicly when you didn't have to.
I can’t wait until the next session thank you both ❤
Speaking as a Bahamian 🇧🇸 raised in Ohio, my dad always provided for me and his grandson regardless. I remember him asking me not to tell my mom ANYTHING, now it makes sense. The kicker was both remarried, but mom left my dad. I know she regretted it, wished they could’ve amended the relationship. Than I wouldn’t have my siblings in his new marriage, grateful for reflection 💯
I love this show... all the guest have been enlightening... the way Miss Vanzant speak life into a black man... come here Auntie let me hug you.. frfr
I expected so much more from Ms Iynala, she's spent so many years holding men like Nick Cannon accountable for their irresponsible behavoiur. At this point I'm convinced theres a fat cheque involved for Ms Iynala because why would you say 'What if you are the re-incarnation of some great king?. This PR campaign to tidy up Nick's image is sickening. I'm really dissapointed.
lol 😂 nah, you have to take into account, the name of the show. It’s “counsel” culture, not “cancel” culture. She understands that and she revealed her skeletons to him, to let him know it’s okay. So, she’s not coming on there to attack him, she came on there to understand him, comfort him, and make him understand his own behavior. It’s okay, you can’t fuss and fight with everybody to get a point across. She handled this very well. Umar and all of his guest, let him off the hook.
Well it’s his show his house so to speak she did say she wasn’t going to drag him and he is aware of this ridiculous situation. She is not his mother and she gave him a little push. Main thing he is aware.
This is a new show. What did you expect her to do. Say enough to make it his last??
Love this sit down with Nick and Miss Iyanla
Let’s get a better seating for this show
It’s amazing how the power at be took down the cannon class because it was enlightening it’s viewers but wilding out is great as long as we joke about each other.
Awww ❤ young Blood,Papa/Baba Nick thank you for being so vulnerable, I needed to hear this today 🙏
And as for my Queen, @iyanla V. Here in my language we'll tell you Aksanti sana for your teaching, I am from the East of Congo 🇨🇩 in Goma exactly. This Counsel culture podcast will help me coach lots of broken youngsters here in Congo-Kinshasa and East of Congo (Goma )may God continue to use both of you in this world. Thank you for the food of our soul ❤️
A single parent home is not a broken home. A broken home is a home that lacks Love, Safety, Order, and Secure
Thank you for not giving in nor giving up💛💛💛
I love Iyanla . And I love that Nick says all his kids were intentional. And every mother wanted to be a great mother and a conversation was had. I applaud him. He is creating his own family his own way. Multiple women and multiple kids is an African way of living . But most can’t comprehend this. Or most don’t like it because it was done to them in the wrong way. Meaning their father had multiple children multiple women and were not active in their lives. He is active in all they lives
I call cap! It's no different than the man she berated for having 34 kids..I just don't think its cool
I'm grateful for these conversations 🙌🏾❤️
Nick somewhere in your upbringing you were raised right to know that with your platform there comes accountability. Kudos to you for not compromising on knowing that despite not having it all figured out. Cece Winans one of the most amazing examples and astute women of God that has NEVER compromised who she is for her platform has also said the same “with influence comes responsibility”
Iyanla Vansant one of my most favorite women. Read her books. Instrumental in opening up my perspective. Beautiful mind
Love it need more of this healthy space for men and women of color to experience their experience so we can all understand each others pain and HEAL TOGETHER!!!!
“Yesterday I cried” is when I fell in love with Dr.Iyanla Vanzent
🙏🏾🙋🏾 I prayed with my Grandmother without debating about Jude 1:24-25 relating to HIM? What is your interpretation of Revelation 1:5 or Revelation 5:5-8.
Am touched by nicks demeanor 😢, Hope he finds peace in what god has blessed him with , the beautiful children’s
In the community of people in all its ethnicities, sex isn’t the only form of love there is. The need to please people or to feel loved leads towards a path of unworthiness and manipulating the identity of deservingness. We’re blossoming without the falsehood of those trauma addictions and no longer blaming ourselves to the attachment of fear and all of its tricks the devil likes to play with.
I am becoming stronger in who I am.
💜🦋🎀
ADORE THIS WOMAN❤..PS...nick love the look. Very sharp dressed
I like how she explained that. Love Iyanla. My BDs don't provide financially at all but I don't keep them from seeing or talking to their children. That's mean. As they grow older they know what's really going on because they see it. I don't have to say a thing.
I'm disppointed in this conversation. I don't feel that she was as honest and she could have been. I do believe that there was a huge level of ego stroking being done.
lmao that "why what" took me out lmao. I love her articulated expressions. They always hit
Iyanla wasn't speaking this nicely to Jay Williams (the guy with the 34 children by 17 different women) on her show 10 years ago. She was ripping Jay a whole new one the entire time and "blowing his world up" as she puts it. She made Jay cry, throw stuff and walk off the set by the way she was talking to him. I guess if you're rich and famous, it's okay with her for a man to have multiple children with multiple women. But, if you're a "nobody" out here doing the same thing, she's gonna get you.
It could be that she grew up, we all evolve over time. But again the show is called “counsel” culture, not “cancel” culture..
His children will be able to tell the story. They will be sure he knows how they feel about his fatherhood, good or bad.
Amazing conversation I'm greatful for this live, felt like it's our duty to spend time together to talk and share information.❤
Thank you. M
This is beyond beautiful and such a special moment 💜💜💜 Thank You so much for allowing us into your personal space Nick, so many people will heal with this 💞💗💕
The way she said "how you feel" went straight to my spirit.
alot of these comments are speaking from how THEY wanted Iyanla to come for him. As an elder, I think she knew and understood how to best reach him. Our job is not to judge him. HE has to decide for himself where his true north lies. And she asked him those questions. She ask him "what would your grandmother think, are you ashamed of anything you have done" etc. You dont have to come for someone's neck to get them to be introspective. He has to determine for himself if he has done anything inappropriate, maladaptive etc. She can't convivence him of that. That is an internal decision he has to make for the self.
I felt that so deep in me Iyanla began to speak about honoring her grandmother who scrubbed white peoples floors. Chills through my body