Had a friend who dated a co-worker. Long story short, they dated, she wanted to break up with him but he didn't want to break up with her. She went to HR, he ended up getting canned and left the company. He lost a job that was earning him a six figure income over a relationship. You better know what your getting into if you decide to date a co-worker, if you break up and you two still work there, it becomes uncomfortable real fast.
Even if it's fast food still bad idea in my book just for the simple fact everyone is in ur business people hating, jealousy jumping from partner to partner the list going on
Personal opinion, I think it's crazy, MeToo isn't over, if the woman doesn't like something or it didn't work out, if she wants revenge, just invent and file a complaint with HR and you lose your job. So much so that many companies do not admit it, damage control on social networks is complicated and companies can be sued for moral damages, even if it is a false accusation.
I'm almost 63 years old and have a little benefit of experience. There isn't one thing you said that I would take issue with but if you asked me I'd say: go for it. Life is messy no matter what so if there's someone you really like out there you should just damn the torpedoes and go full speed ahead. If it doesn't work out, so what? I believe in life you regret the things you didn't do.
I disagree. It's the risk to your career, family, and future. I had a coworker (at a hospital) who started dating one of her patients. Even though that's unethical and illegal everyone looked the other way. But then it all went south...she lost everything!
Cupid doesn't care for your job, i dated a coworker and we've been together 14yrs and married for 11. We have a handsome lil boy , i knew the second i laid eyes on her she was someone special so dont let a job ruin your chance at being with a soul mate
@@SebVictor yeah they are. They’ve got a five year old handful of a son and he’s just the most precious nephew in the world. I’m his favorite person lol
I had a recent crush on a coworker, and it was some of the self confidence and self focus I’ve learned from you in other vids that helped. I rode it out. Rather than obsess like a younger me might have, I just let time pass, accepted it was just can innocent crush. I decided she did not see me that way, and that was fine, rather than ego crushing, because, as you say, we all have preferences. Anyway, I really valued some of the things I’ve learned from you as it helped me through that, and this vid was a good chance to mention it and thank you. Happy end to the story: couple months have gone by now and we get along so well as colleagues/ work friends. We’re both hilarious in a rather stuffy work place. It’s turned out great!
@@christopherfaulkner8514 that's what I'm sayin bro, trust me if she's not going to pound city with you then she's going with someone else might as well be you.
I casually, secretly dated a girl I worked in close proximity with for two months, it was an undefined relationship/situationship, but it felt like more than a fwb situation. It ended because out of nowhere she started seeing another coworker who we work in close proximity with. It has thrown my whole life into turmoil. DO NOT DATE COWORKERS.
Damn bro I have the same situation going on right now. Only if not that close to the new coworker she’s now seeing. Shit just sucks seeing all that. I leaned my lesson never again
I dated and married a co-worker I don’t always recommend it We had a dysfunctional relationship and had to see each other when we were having problems and it was harder to break up. She gave me an ultimatum of marriage after a few months and I felt trapped because we also worked together We eventually married and she cheated on me with a co-worker Everyone at work knew our business. We eventually divorced I’m no longer at the company It was a traumatizing experience for me I think it depends on maturity level and strength of the relationship
Overall, you have to keep in mind that the majority of relationships do not work out, whether it’s at work or outside of work. Think of how many dates you’ve been on and how many relationships you have had that didn’t work out. Odds are a relationship at work will be another one of those that do not work out. With those odds, you’re better off not dating at work. 👍🏽
My ex (who I was with for two years) left me for a co-worker, because she spent more time with him at work than she could spend with me since we had conflicting work schedules. Can't even trust a girl when she's at work these days. Loyalty is extinct in 2021. IDK how I'm gonna take a leap of faith on love again, like taking a leap of faith over an 80 foot drop over spikes like a Mortal Kombat fatality
This is very true, many women do have secret affairs in the workplace/professional setting and that is because they spend more time with their coworkers rather than SO
I'm a firm believer in manifesting what you want, with daily affirmations and positive mindset. So repeat this mantra every day, 7 times over: - Bitches ain't nothin' -
Dated a coworker at my first job. It was great in the beginning, but then I noticed she became distant over time. Eventually found out after she broke up with me for taking it too slow (my first relationship) she was talking to people on the side and that she didn’t want me to get so attached to her. It’s been 7 years and it still haunts me. I would constantly ask myself “what did I do wrong?” All in all I haven’t talked to her in years and I guess it’s for the best.
It's for the best just acknowledge the pain keep working on urself I'm going thru the same thing got broken up with because I didn't wanna go out with co workers every night and drink and do cocaine til 7am in the morning after so I guess I'm 2 boring because I have a life outside of work didn't know that was a bad thing that person is now dating another co worker to rub it in my face and had the whole restaurant gossiping about me had to clean my name took me a long time to do so I realize I don't need people like that in my life it's their lost not mine and I guarantee when all the drugs and parties are no longer available don't come running back because I won't be available as well good bye 👋🏻
@@Bullet730 i fully understand your experience... mine never had time because they were fighting for the custody of their child... but oh , miracle, now she has time every day for her new boyfriend... what a miracle, but I was the one who never did anything during the whole relationship
I dated a coworker and got dumped right after I changed jobs. It was a rough breakup already but I consider myself so lucky that it happened after I left. If I had to interact with her everyday it would have been a disaster. I definitely don't recommend it unless you are prepared to change jobs soon to alleviate that pressure or if you work in a different department and don't see them often.
It's good until it isn't. You better make damn sure you're both mature enough to be able to stay friends or remain civil if you break up. Most people need time and distance apart after breaking up, so I'd say the majority aren't able to stay civil.
I work in a warehouse and there's a young promiscuous single mom who went through quite a few coworkers and the manager of my department. I'm cool with my manager and he lets me off the hook with things like coming in late or taking a day off etc. This single mom was coming into my area to try and get me to take her out. Thankfully I knew that it wasn't worth having tension between me and my manager (also I'm still too dumb to know how to seal the deal). But the saying is true, don't get your honey where you make your money. ITS NOT WORTH IT
I think we would both be acting a little awkward and trying to avoid each other I could not imagine what that would be like going into work everyday I mean that is all you would be thinking about.
You need to low-key the 'asking out'. i.e. the rejection-proof method: Along the lines of... "I'm going to go get some lunch - you hungry?" or maybe at the end of the shift... "Man what a day, I'm gonna grab a Starbucks - wanna come with? You see the formula? You're gonna do what you're gonna do, and she can join you if she wants. Casual af, and should be said that way.
I love your honesty, transparency and sincerity Courtney. You have a beautiful heart and your goal is to truly help others, especially men who have a difficult time trying to understand things from a woman’s perspective. You have no idea how many lives you touch with your content and what a difference you make. Thank you✨
I met my wife at work, so it worked out for me. In our case, she worked in a different department where I didn't see her much during the day, but it was a small company where it would have been awkward if we had broken up. However, we've both left the company since then, so (pre-pandemic) we didn't see each other constantly at work. She was also the one to formally ask me out after I showed interest in her, which helped a lot! So, while you should proceed with caution, it can work out. I think the tips in this video are good. Also you have to consider that the alternative to finding a partner at a workplace is often dating apps now...yikes.
My approach to this issue has been for 30 years: Remember that if the relation doesn't work out, you still have to work with that person after you break up.
I married my co-worker and been together since! We both worked for the same doctor but in different offices and we met over the phone. The medical company didn't have any policies regarding dating within and the doctor I worked for, was okay on the matter, as long as we both had a good understanding. But to say the least, my employer was trying to set me up with my future wife lol! Anyway, we dated for six years and been happily married for going on 14 years this December. So in my book, be safe and check the policies and be professional, and if you date at the place of employment, do it in a different department and have a good understanding matter. Otherwise, it is best to date and do the personable things outside on your own time and not at your place of employment for you don't want to ruin your own career and someone else. Thank you!;)
Me and my daughter's mother worked in a warehouse together. We stayed together for 20 years. As far as what other people think, I would say don't worry about that.
Do you think this phenomenon of dating coworkers is more due in part with the fact that as you enter adulthood and the corporate world, WORK becomes the main social circle/interaction that people experience. In my personal opinion, I think we should normalize other ways of meeting people like attending Meet Up events, socials, and finding a local community (yoga, intramural sports, book club). On the other hand, I can understand building attraction for someone while working in the same space and being able to observe one another.
For the majority of people, the job is temporary. Almost no one stays with the same company for their whole career, or really long-term. I think it matters more if you work closely together physically. Otherwise, if you're on different teams and working in different areas I think people should just go for it.
Really glad you highlighted the industry you work in. I work in the creative sector, which isn't typically 9-5. It's common place for co-workers to date each other, as we don't have much time to meet anyone outside it.
I dated a coworker (not the same team though). Our relationship didn't work out, but we were on good terms some time after it. I know a countless number of successful happy endings of coworkers dating in my company. As much as I appreciate this channel, I think I will do whatever I think is right for me.
I follow 2 former radio personalities. They've worked together here in NY and got their own radio show in Seattle. They've been friends and coworkers for 10 years. They moved together after they got fired from their job during the pandemic, about a year ago. They just announce on Twitch they are officially dating, but hid it from everyone, including their parents and close friends for over a year. So they've date when they were on the air. But no one knew.
I dated a co-worker. Worst mistake I ever made. Still see her every day and it’s just plain uncomfortable even months after, especially when other people found out behind the scenes. Thank goodness I’m not the petty type and know when to step away. Thank God she also wasn’t the type to tell HR or report me for something false. We only interact IF we need to for work purposes.
Kinda same story. I never dated her but after a while of talking we finally started to fool around. Now she’s talking to another coworker. Sucks to see that happening
Is this like dating in a small town? Everyone knows about your relationship, you see each other whether it works or goes south. Went through this with a friend that I liked more than she liked me. It took months of no contact, and we are finally able to be in the same coffee group again. Thankful to have her as an acquaintance.
“Today, we’re going to go over ‘Should you date a co-worker?’. Simple answer: no. Long answer: no. Unless you have no interest in having a job, don’t do it. You’re interested in her, she knows it, you give her attention, she pretends to like the attention, and waits for you to make your move and ask her out (and then you do), she goes to HR, and you get suspended. Not worth it.
Hi Courtney, another great, well thought out video. This is the first time I've caught one just after it's been posted. Amazing how many people comment not having watched the video! Personally I like to hear what you have to say. I dated a co-worker (same employment level, same department) for two and a half years. Then it ended. Badly. Had to see that person every day for another year and a half as I didn't want to quit the job. Had to deal with gossips and rumour mill and more, Had some difficult times. Now I make it my policy never to date a co-worker having learned the hard way. There are plenty of other, safer, options out there. It's not worth it in my opinion.
I would never date a coworker ,,,I’m a guy and would always get married women trying to have sex with me ,,I’m not married or have kids ,,,I just wanted to go to work 😩😂
I dated a coworker(albeit from a different department.) It didn’t end that favorably,..since her boss was my father, so I had to deal with that for a bit, post-breakup. 😓
I'm a success story! We're going strong 2.5yrs and he was my boss at my internship. I didn't think twice about it because it was a temporary position for me, but he definitely did because post Me too era he defs had a lot to lose if it went south. At the end of the day we knew that we just clicked and we became best friends before we got together. My advice is to be sure that there's a strong foundation of friendship and it isn't just lust/infatuation.
i'd advise against it. never done it, although i had crushes on coworkers i decided not to pursue it. i have heard stories from both ends. some worked out really well, other disastrously wrong. a couple of former coworkers dated and ended up getting married and are doing quite well. but i've heard far more disaster stories than good ones. my ex for example, some time after we broke up, she ended up dating a coworker for a while. he got her pregnant, immediately bailed on the relationship and started spreading false rumors about her, basically calling her a whore. she ended up having to deal with the pregnancy on her own because that asshole clearly wasn't going to take care of the child.
Your coworkers are NOT your friends! You can get along with them to get work done, but alway, Always, ALWAYS keep your boundaries & watch your back. Dating, or even hooking up with coworkers will only create more drama & headaches, overall making your situation worse.
I left a good relationship to date a co-worker that I had a HUGE crush on. We dated for 2 months. We had sex, slept together, hanged out a lot. It was fun, but she had a problem: She wanted to control my life, and I didn't allow it. She left me with the excuse that she didn’t see a future with me, but I'm pretty sure it was because I didn’t allow her to play games and control my life. The thing is, she is from my same department, but she doesn't work directly with me (which is good), and I dont see her too often, but when I do see her, I start to feel really bad and awkward, even though the break up happened 9 months ago. What really bothers me, is that their is a slight chance that in the near future, she could end up working with me and my direct co-workers and that freaks me out. After this experience, I've learned my lesson, worked on being a better man, started getting out of my confort zone, hell, I even started practicing Krav Maga to distract myself and meet new people, and to get in good shape. I'll keep being single for quite a while, working on my better self.
@@leedlbagginshield8492 yeah, its true. But at the same time, I didnt liked my long term relationship at that moment. Ive learned now that she has grown a lot and shes has done well, which makes me feel good. Ive also come a long way after that relationship. Now im in a new commited relationship with a person I want to make a life with. Literally i dont want to be with anybody else.
@@EriPages now im in a new commited relationship and happy with the new girl. She is all I ever REALLY wanted with someone. Came a long way after that comment 3 years ago.
Been there bro. There's not too many that have their life together. Don't do it unless they have a well paying career, and I'm talking a career not a job at Walmart. She can't be looking for a Knight in shining armor to rescue her from her own life. Look for the red flags. If her kid has a stupid name, like Haiden and looks like a puerto rican, and her mom is white, run, don't walk, run the other way, no matter how hot she is. Also single mothers, 99% of the time are single due to their own decisions and need to know their place, damaged goods. So if they still have that princess mentality you can hit it and quit it but don't move her into your place or marry it. I've only met 2 single mothers that were worth anything...but I still couldn't do it. Best of luck bro.
Thanks for the info guys. But for me this already came and went for me. A few months ago I met this girl from work. Which is ironic because this is a video about how I should avoid dating women at work. 😂😂 And we started hanging out, but I did admit that I liked her and she said that she wasn't ready for another relationship because her ex was super abusive towards her which is a justifiable reason. And yes. She does have a kid. With the abusive ex might I add, but I've already made the decision to move on and find someone else. I still wanna be friends with her but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cross her off the dating list.
it depends i dated a single mum but she didnt want any more kids and id like one little me in this world, its a shame cause she was great in every other way
I dated a co worker and in the end it didn’t work out but when we broke up, he actually wasn’t working there anymore. We weren’t in the same department but we did see each other around the building every now and then. Currently I am dating someone from work; there’s nothing against it with my company. We’re both on the same level and we’re in the same department but with what we do, there are days where we don’t see each other for almost an entire day. And when we do, we’re on different sides of the building and the only time we really see each other is during break/lunch or if we need to cover an area for each other. So like what was said in the video, it really depends on the situation. I took a risk again and we are going strong. We were friends friends first for about 2 years before we started dating and now everyone on our team including our supervisors, are happy for both of us. We’ve been officially together for almost 1.5 years now.
I dated a coworker who i worked with pretty closely...and we even lived together. Let's just say we got burnt out because we never ever had any space away from one another. Don't recommend haha
A girl/woman in my office (2000+ people) who works in a different floor & different business area began pursuing me. The embryo of a relationship was forming, but never Flowered due to external factors. She works a different shift, so the chances of us crossing paths is very limited, although her job is somewhat 'fixed' in terms of physical location, whereas my job tends to have me going to any floor in our office. However, on Thursday we did cross paths as I was going out for a coffee with a colleague & she was arriving at work. We made eye contact & smiled at each other, but didn't speak. I should add; I recently *_unfriended_* (but not blocked) her on Facebook, because it wasn't healthy us constantly viewing each others FB pages when whatever-we-had was clearly over...
I've had consistent hook ups with coworkers. Don't. Just don't. Maybe it's my fault cause I'd hook up with 2-4 different co workers at the same job - thus leading to some jealousy issues - and NONE of them ended well. I had to leave a job cause one was stalking me, and another had complained to the owner that I was being inappropriate with clientele at work (this one had jealousy issues, and tried to ruin my status at said workplace). It's better to avoid dating co workers in general. Sure, sometimes it works out, but I reckon that's more rare than what's the norm. If you want to date, search elsewhere.
“What if it doesn’t work out” is why I’m hesitant to date someone in my apartment building. The thing is though finding someone is just too hard to not throw caution to the wind when you do find someone that might work out.
I got my first sack letter in 2016 after crushing on my co-worker whom my boss has either been crushing on or wanting to crush on. 😝😝😝😝😝😝 Anyway, he later called me to apologize after a year, and the good thing is, I was already my boss and doing better than him. I thanked him for what he did.
Excellent video Courtney, yes I've dated a coworker and it did work out fine. We were on the same level as employees in different departments we opted to keep it secretive (to our managers) although close friends in my department and her department knew we dating. Definitely do NOT date someone you are managing or your supervisor.
at one job I had a co worker and when the time came that it was her last day there, she approached me to 'go out' that night. this was a smart way that this could be handled.
I had a boss who wanted to date me in the worst way. First of all, I was not attracted to her, and secondly it was highly unethical for a boss to ask a subordinate out on a date. I found another position in a separate department to get away from her.
I'd rather roll up Some cash, and stack the gold and silver instead: God's money, that nature can't destroy being why it had been money for over 5,000 years
I went out with a coworker and it turned out to be a disaster. First of all, she was crazy. (LOL) She would get jealous and act weird if I talked to any other coworkers or customers and it just made it weird on a day-to-day when we had to work together. On the other hand, I didn't learn my lesson and ended up getting close with another coworker, at the same job, because I confided in her about this crazy coworker. And now I've been married to this other coworker for 20 years this year. The difference was the first one was not mature enough to handle the situation, the second obviously was. My wife's rule was she would never date a coworker but she obviously broke that rule for me. (blowing on nails...) Honestly, I probably wouldn't suggest it but you never know who you're going to fall in love with so follow your heart.
There's extenuating circumstances, believe me. Remote towns with small populations where there is a central industrial hub which drives the other work in the area (i.e. military bases, large mining plants, etc.) limit the pool considerably and limit options in this aspect.
I honestly wished I would of gone after my work crush. Long story short we had a bond like no other. I never connected with someone like I did with her but I had a lot of insecurities about myself & I wasn't able to confront them at the time. So I justified me not pursuing her as being professional. I regret not going after her but lesson learned. I am good enough for a girl of a certain caliber.
I dated a coworker when I was really young and working a part-time job during college. We remained friends after we broke up. I’m in a situation at the place I work at where a younger lady is showing she really likes me. I’m semi-retired and only working there part-time for extra income and to stay busy. I’m 56 and the lady is 32 years old... and my supervisor. I don’t believe in dating someone I work with, especially a supervisor. She has been progressively showing more interest in me. I was sick for two days and came back today. When she saw me, I thought she was going to hug me. She already shows me favoritism over other employees. She often touches me on the arm and the touches have started to linger. I have a lot of concerns. She’s my supervisor, she’s a lot younger and she hasn’t really had much relationship experience. I haven’t reciprocated in any way. She is attractive and a very smart, nice person. I just have too many concerns about it. I’m not quite sure how to handle this situation. She seems like she’s getting closer to asking me out on a date. She makes sure she dresses nicer and goes all out with her hair and makeup when she knows she will be working with me. I’ve gone in on my days off when she works and she keeps her appearance much more plain. If I don’t show interest will she eventually give up? This has been going on for about 8 months. She is very shy, had health problems as a child, hasn’t dated much and seems to be very sheltered. She’s such a nice young lady and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. But, I also know that she is a lot younger and not very experienced in the dating world. I’m not sure how to say “no” if and when she asks me out. I think she eventually will. Most of the people I work with can see she is interested in me. I think she’s at the point of trying to gather up her courage to ask me out on a date.
this is a great video, all great advice! I've been in all of the above scenarios, and I've worked with happily married couples and multiple friends have spouses that they met at work. My advice would be, if you would be ok switching jobs if things don't work out and you aren't working in the same dept and neither is reporting to the other than go for it and like she said, keep HR in the loop. You don't necessarily have to tell your coworkers but you absolutely have to tell HR (for legal reasons). If one of you is in a position of authority over the other even if not a direct report than you're playing with fire. People can claim favoritism even if there is none and you have little to no defence against it. Perhaps meeting at work and then switching jobs once things get romantic would be best.
I know 2 people (coworkers) that fell in love got married had kids. Then i also know a man where he dated a coworker, the girl made the first move, she was damn hot so i see why. but then the relationship ended badly. The girl went to HR and filed a complaint not sexual harassments just a complaint because she didn't want to work with him on a project. HR though however classified it as sexual harassments and the guy lost his career; terminated within 3 days. Moral of the story in this modern age DONT DO IT. that man lost everything he was on the road to being a millionaire by age 35.
Hey Courtney, if you're looking for an idea, it would be really cool to hear a woman's perspective on men's sleepwear. I mean... chances are if she sees what you sleep in, you're doing pretty good. But I find it's not a talked about subject. Also I'm in need of PJ's and would love to know I'm making a smart choice. Thanks for everything you do! ❤
@@kalebwieland4938 I'm partial to the button-up shirt and matching pants style ones, but plaid pants and a t-shirt is still good, too. For all I know, they want men sleeping in their birthday suit or in just boxers and a wifey. Maybe the Ebenezer Scrooge style cap and gown? This might be wise to make into one of those videos where she chats with her girlfriends and gets some varied input. I just wanted to put the idea out there because men's sleepwear is rarely talked about. I recently got a flyer for a unisex store advertising a sale on sleepwear and literally every item in the flyer was for women.
Some of the best girls I have ever met are coworkers. It's annoying, I never find that quality on the apps. If you date a coworker, make sure you work in separate departments or something that isn't too close. Definitely do not date someone you supervise or supervises you.
it's fine to date a coworker if you're just working some random job that can easily be replaced with something else. But if you have a chance at having a great career at a particular place, you should never try to date a coworker. I agree with Courtney's reasons on this one. 1. It can impact your relationship with coworkers and your dept depending on the working relationship you have with the other person 2. many of your coworkers will be in your business 3. there is a great chance the relationship wouldn't work out, so could you imagine you both staying at the company without it affecting your career and your enjoyment being at work 4. Do you want to come home and share the same work stories everyday? 5. How will your partner react to you having to interact or network with people of the opposite sex? 6. Do you want to have to compete with your partner at work for a salary, bonus, or an exciting new role?
What would you suggest to people w/out social media trying to get dates? When I ask women directly, they act like I'm out of touch, and just say no or make up obvious excuses.
Great topic and really helpful advice. Also, great color choice for your outfit! Every situation is different and there’s never a perfect answer. If nothing else, have emotional self-control and focus on behaving the best way you can so whatever happens, you won’t regret it later on. Cool stuff and looking forward to the next vid!
Tough one...Company policy has a tendency to be overlooked when certain people are involved. Seen it used as leverage but after one has left. Game on !
I've known a lot of people who have dated coworkers, and I've seen a lot higher chance of long term relationships and marriage in such relationships than dating outside the workplace, however, I have also seen FAR more trouble in the act of TRYING. I have only asked out a coworker 3 times, and all three said no. (Not all that surprising, as I am totally incompetent in romance.) One actively avoiding me, acting like she was scared of me, and eventually leaving the company shortly after that happened. I absolutely had no hard feelings because she turned me down, and I tried to explain that, but she really acted scared, and I have no idea why. It actually hurt my feelings a bit (hard to do since I'm an INTP and don't think about such feelings much) seeing that she was actively scared of me. I'm certainly no danger to anyone who isn't actively attacking me, so I still don't have a clue why she felt that way. One was simply a friend zone situation that she didn't really consider it a date until she realized it was just the two of us. It just ended up awkward, and didn't go anywhere. I don't even consider it a real date, after the fact, because she didn't. It was almost painful. I liked her a lot, and was always impressed with how smart and driven she is, along with being attracted to her physically. (She has such gorgeous smile and eyes, omg, so cute.) It hurt me to realize there was just no hope of anything more. I wish her the best in her new marriage. The last one I just asked if she was seeing anyone, not even actually asking for a date yet, and she simply answered that she was, which is fine, and I didn't have any hard feelings over it. I never mentioned it again, but she turned around and immediately filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against me. I got fired over it, and when the lawsuit got to court (I REFUSED to settle), it was stopped at the end of the plaintiff presenting phase, as they didn't even come close to showing any evidence at all for their claim, her lawyer was censured for the frivolous suit, and the suit was dismissed with prejudice. It still cost me a ton. After that one, I pretty much swore off asking out anyone anymore. I haven't had a date since. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. I HIGHLY recommend men steer clear of coworkers, SPECIFICALLY because of that last case. It's NOT worth the risk of job and livelihood, for such a low chance of anything. Guys, you do NOT want to end up homeless just because of asking someone out. In today's world, ANY woman can completely ruin a guy's life just for asking. It's beyond scary.
Dated a co worker when I was 19 at my first job working at a local CVS. It's not fun when it ends! I was lucky to learn my lesson about that when I was in a job I didn't need. I can't imagine the fallout if it happens on your career job. Don't do it guys! Find someone outside of your company that you don't have to work with professionally.
Beautiful and professional looking, Courtney ;) And I don't think women understand how risky it is for men to make approaches in the workplace. They just seem to get mad at the guy for not asking her out after she showed interest and take it as a rejection.
I believe if you are honest, transparent, reliable, trustworthy, and respectful it is a good thing. Obviously some companies do not like it. I always try to be respectful and good manners. I have seen youtube videa on this subject. People are human and love is something to work hard at .I pray to be worthy in life.life can be tough in these situations.
Funny thing is my grandma and grandpa worked in the same department for many years and they married each other. It's been +30 years and they are still together
I have dated a coworker and it ruined work for me. I have also hooked up with multiple coworkers as one night stands, and the results varied; for the most part, hook ups at work have ended well, but one did end bad because she fell in love, even after we CLEARLY stated that it was only a hook up and nothing more. Results will vary folks.
I've had a crush on a coworker for a while. I wouldn't want to make a move as long as we work alongside each other, though, for the reasons you mentioned. We have a great relationship as peers and she has ambitions to work in another field, so maybe someday!
I actually wanted a video / opinion on this TOPIC. Crushes in the workplace is pretty common. But may have awkward situations, ill effects long term & CAREER SUICIDE, especially if its a SENIOR / BOSS.
I dated a co-worker but we unfortunately ended the relationship. It had nothing to do with our professional lives or her personally. She was a good person overall, but not the right person for me
Dated a coworker. Actually met my significant other at work (not a coworker). Was OK but like someone said, "Don't crap where you eat!" But because of the circumstances of today, with people "living" at work! Where else are you gonna meet someone? Just as long as they aren't your boss or you're not their boss! For me, 2 weeks turned into 20 years!
If you have any desire to be in management, don't roll the dice. Management and the owners of a company do not want to deal with possible SH situations. You have to ask yourself, are you just looking for a good time or do you really think that person is the one? If you're just looking for a good time, find it elsewhere because when it goes south, there will be gossip and negativity. Everyone in the office can get behind 2 people that turn out to really be a great match, but that is rare. BTW, I met my wife of 30 years at work.
I'm not outright opposed to it, but it is definitely something that shouldn't be taken lightly. There are some real consequences if HR gets involved. I guess being very mature is the first stipulation. They say never work for family for a reason. It is very hard to separate work from pleasure, or work from family. People often over compensate by being harder on, or rude to the one they are close to, as to show that they are not showing favorites, it can border on abuse and harassment, if not be those.
I dated a co-worker, she continued to work at my company for 5 more months before she quit and got another job. She had different career goals so I wasn't too concerned about dating her, but it was still tricky within those 5 months because something did go wrong and it was hard to deal with because your other co-workers knew about it too...lol. Things did smooth out, but after two years we broke up. It wasn't meant to be.
I was an RA in college and I had a very pretty female coworker during a summer semester who partied with and slept with my residents. It was a dry campus and her doing that made a fun/easy job into a difficult job. Since she was sneaking them alcohol and I regularly had to bust parties in my hall which is something I hated having to do. I asked her to stop doing that but her response was "Why? I can teach them to be safe about it. Wouldn't you rather them drink in a safe environment?" I never caught her but if I did she would have immediately lost her job and would lose the "free room and board" part of the job. But what did happen was many of my residents who partied frequently with her didn't meet the GPA requirements and so they were expelled. But the most unlucky ones got expelled mid-semester because they threw a party in the study lounge and lit a billboard and a couch on fire and the whole dorm needed to be evacuated at 1 am. And it was the only weekend I ever went home my whole time in college, so I was just annoyed at how quickly things fell apart when I was not there.
It's like in life, you get out of it what you put into it, a relationship only has the value you give it, love blossoms wherever, no one can change that, the heart wants what the heart wants
If you can't date someone from your workplace, then what alternative is there if I may ask? Online dating has nothing but scammers. Nobody goes to church these days. Bars are sleaze joints to pick up one-night stands. And customers asking store employees on dates is apt to get you thrown out by security. People spend one-third of their lives on the job, and coworkers are the only people you really get to know inside and out. Lots of married couples these days were coworkers at their jobs. And yes, sometimes it can be a supervisor. So what's the problem here? It's just like dating in high school. It's the only practical risk worth taking.
it's still not a good idea to date from work or school, while i agree online dating apps and sites have turned into a playground for criminals and scammers. If you really want to meet a partner have your friends or social circles (outside of work or school) introduce you to someone. Or try to approach women in the mall or restaurants. If still no luck, go to a brothel! Trust me, if you date or get involved with someone from work or school it could cost you your job, paycheck, image, reputation and everyone will turn against you or alienate you. There is always someone who is jealous or does not like someone else in cohort at work or school or are always trying to turn people against each other. Not worth it!
Well, it depends on how you approach it. Working with someone is a great way to get to know a person. You are also more likely to be on an even playing field when it comes to social and economic status. If it goes horribly awry, that is 100% your fault for not doing your research first.
@@CourtneyRyan I got two in the office trying to down play that they don’t like me. One of them showed me that she wanna get it in by body language and eye F each other.
My fiancée and I worked at the same place when we got together, but we were in COMPLETELY different departments. It can work. Proximity (or rather, lack thereof) is key, I think. Hope it goes well for you!
Last 3 romantic relationships were at work - 1 didn't work because there wasn't a healthy communication going. My uncle married her co-worker. She's his secretary. So, more about how strong the bond between 2 people hv. That being said, stats do suggest not to hv a bf gf relationship in same work environment.
Also When it comes to considering dating a co-worker the vetting process is extremely important if you are interested in a co-worker you should really take the time to see how her character is. How does she treat others at work..does she come to work on time….does she gossip about others…how is she with authority….does she flirt excessively…is she humble…be very careful because 9/10 times when things go south they take the woman’s side first then will want to know your side
Had a friend who dated a co-worker. Long story short, they dated, she wanted to break up with him but he didn't want to break up with her. She went to HR, he ended up getting canned and left the company. He lost a job that was earning him a six figure income over a relationship. You better know what your getting into if you decide to date a co-worker, if you break up and you two still work there, it becomes uncomfortable real fast.
Your boy is a R’pist 😂 wtf does he mean “No”. She don’t want no more dick
He didn't want to break up with her even though she wanted to break up?
🤦♂️ x 10
Sounds like he has a problem.
@@BWater-yq3jxbeta simps come in all income brackets
@@BWater-yq3jxsounds like me lol
Indeed
It depends. If it is a "nothing" job, like McDonalds, who cares. But if it is a career position, men especially should proceed with EXTREME CAUTION!
if it is a career position, a BIG AND HUGE NO
one step further : NO!!
💯 right - as they say - don’t s**t on your own doorstep .. it can have serious career repercussions on your career
Even if it's fast food still bad idea in my book just for the simple fact everyone is in ur business people hating, jealousy jumping from partner to partner the list going on
Women should be cautious too
I've had coworkers get married and coworkers who greatly resent each other from dating. It can work, but it's rare
100%!
“it can work, but it’s rare” goes for love in general
@@christianmyrie3892 LOVE has nothing to do with it tho lol
Personal opinion, I think it's crazy, MeToo isn't over, if the woman doesn't like something or it didn't work out, if she wants revenge, just invent and file a complaint with HR and you lose your job.
So much so that many companies do not admit it, damage control on social networks is complicated and companies can be sued for moral damages, even if it is a false accusation.
@@jrloyal2594What's love got to do with it, got to do with it?
I'm almost 63 years old and have a little benefit of experience. There isn't one thing you said that I would take issue with but if you asked me I'd say: go for it. Life is messy no matter what so if there's someone you really like out there you should just damn the torpedoes and go full speed ahead. If it doesn't work out, so what? I believe in life you regret the things you didn't do.
I second you; it's better to take risk than suffering from regrets and cowardness.
Listen to this man.
I disagree. It's the risk to your career, family, and future. I had a coworker (at a hospital) who started dating one of her patients. Even though that's unethical and illegal everyone looked the other way. But then it all went south...she lost everything!
Agree with you. If you find this special person, you need to take the risk.
@@HamiltonRowan-r6zwhat did she lose? Was she able to regain some, if not all, of the things back?
Cupid doesn't care for your job, i dated a coworker and we've been together 14yrs and married for 11. We have a handsome lil boy , i knew the second i laid eyes on her she was someone special so dont let a job ruin your chance at being with a soul mate
You worked at a shoe store?
Bro your comment just made me laugh so hard! Even though I disagree with you, I respect your view point.
My brother met his wife while they were both working at the hospital in our town as nurses. They’ve been together for seven years now.
Blessed Be on them
Im also a male nurse and waiting for the same lol
@Penderyn Lewsyn lol wut
Are they happy together?
@@SebVictor yeah they are. They’ve got a five year old handful of a son and he’s just the most precious nephew in the world. I’m his favorite person lol
I married a coworker 20 years ago and we are still going strong, it can work but it helped that we were friends first.
Yes me too. I agree, being friends first was a big plus for me as well.
I had a recent crush on a coworker, and it was some of the self confidence and self focus I’ve learned from you in other vids that helped. I rode it out. Rather than obsess like a younger me might have, I just let time pass, accepted it was just can innocent crush. I decided she did not see me that way, and that was fine, rather than ego crushing, because, as you say, we all have preferences.
Anyway, I really valued some of the things I’ve learned from you as it helped me through that, and this vid was a good chance to mention it and thank you.
Happy end to the story: couple months have gone by now and we get along so well as colleagues/ work friends. We’re both hilarious in a rather stuffy work place. It’s turned out great!
I’m so glad to hear it. Thanks for sharing, Steve!
Good job on getting into the friend zone 🤷♂️
@@cesarrivera8626 er, thanks? I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with this person. I had a mild crush. It passed.
@@christopherfaulkner8514 that's what I'm sayin bro, trust me if she's not going to pound city with you then she's going with someone else might as well be you.
Simp!
If it's a throwaway job, be my guest. Otherwise, don't crap where you eat.
Preech
It's always a bad idea to shit where you eat.
Don't get your meat where you get your bread.
@Penderyn Lewsyn nobody said anything about “worrying about company rules”. Guy
My boy with the facts!😎
I casually, secretly dated a girl I worked in close proximity with for two months, it was an undefined relationship/situationship, but it felt like more than a fwb situation. It ended because out of nowhere she started seeing another coworker who we work in close proximity with. It has thrown my whole life into turmoil. DO NOT DATE COWORKERS.
Damn bro I have the same situation going on right now. Only if not that close to the new coworker she’s now seeing. Shit just sucks seeing all that. I leaned my lesson never again
Thank you for this. I think I needed to hear this.
I’m sorry you were put theough this. Threw your life into turmoil how, though? Was it just the pain?
Same here and I cannot leave my job. It's devastating
I dated and married a co-worker
I don’t always recommend it
We had a dysfunctional relationship and had to see each other when we were having problems and it was harder to break up. She gave me an ultimatum of marriage after a few months and I felt trapped because we also worked together
We eventually married and she cheated on me with a co-worker
Everyone at work knew our business. We eventually divorced
I’m no longer at the company
It was a traumatizing experience for me
I think it depends on maturity level and strength of the relationship
So much for ultimatums! 😬
Overall, you have to keep in mind that the majority of relationships do not work out, whether it’s at work or outside of work. Think of how many dates you’ve been on and how many relationships you have had that didn’t work out. Odds are a relationship at work will be another one of those that do not work out. With those odds, you’re better off not dating at work. 👍🏽
I don’t see faults in your logic.
You’re right when you say relationships at work affect EVERYONE around you. It really does.
My ex (who I was with for two years) left me for a co-worker, because she spent more time with him at work than she could spend with me since we had conflicting work schedules.
Can't even trust a girl when she's at work these days. Loyalty is extinct in 2021. IDK how I'm gonna take a leap of faith on love again, like taking a leap of faith over an 80 foot drop over spikes like a Mortal Kombat fatality
Everyone I know with partners that don’t cheat, work from home. No Xmas parties. I’m half joking.
This is very true, many women do have secret affairs in the workplace/professional setting and that is because they spend more time with their coworkers rather than SO
I'm a firm believer in manifesting what you want, with daily affirmations and positive mindset.
So repeat this mantra every day, 7 times over:
- Bitches ain't nothin' -
Dated a coworker at my first job. It was great in the beginning, but then I noticed she became distant over time. Eventually found out after she broke up with me for taking it too slow (my first relationship) she was talking to people on the side and that she didn’t want me to get so attached to her. It’s been 7 years and it still haunts me. I would constantly ask myself “what did I do wrong?” All in all I haven’t talked to her in years and I guess it’s for the best.
I m in the same position right now
It's for the best just acknowledge the pain keep working on urself I'm going thru the same thing got broken up with because I didn't wanna go out with co workers every night and drink and do cocaine til 7am in the morning after so I guess I'm 2 boring because I have a life outside of work didn't know that was a bad thing that person is now dating another co worker to rub it in my face and had the whole restaurant gossiping about me had to clean my name took me a long time to do so I realize I don't need people like that in my life it's their lost not mine and I guarantee when all the drugs and parties are no longer available don't come running back because I won't be available as well good bye 👋🏻
@@Bullet730 i fully understand your experience... mine never had time because they were fighting for the custody of their child... but oh , miracle, now she has time every day for her new boyfriend... what a miracle, but I was the one who never did anything during the whole relationship
It's going to be okay... stay strong
Determine the lesson(s) to be learnt.
Learn them.
Appreciate the benefit of the learning experience.
Let go.
Move on.
Have dated a coworker. We were married for 6 years. Don’t think I would do it now unless we’d be in totally different departments.
For 6 years? Sorry i would just like to confirm sir. Do you mean you are now divorced?
@@Think_Art yes
Must be awkward if you guys still work together.
I made this same mistake, lesson learned the hard way. Stay professional my friends.
I dated a coworker and got dumped right after I changed jobs. It was a rough breakup already but I consider myself so lucky that it happened after I left. If I had to interact with her everyday it would have been a disaster. I definitely don't recommend it unless you are prepared to change jobs soon to alleviate that pressure or if you work in a different department and don't see them often.
It's good until it isn't. You better make damn sure you're both mature enough to be able to stay friends or remain civil if you break up. Most people need time and distance apart after breaking up, so I'd say the majority aren't able to stay civil.
I work in a warehouse and there's a young promiscuous single mom who went through quite a few coworkers and the manager of my department. I'm cool with my manager and he lets me off the hook with things like coming in late or taking a day off etc. This single mom was coming into my area to try and get me to take her out. Thankfully I knew that it wasn't worth having tension between me and my manager (also I'm still too dumb to know how to seal the deal). But the saying is true, don't get your honey where you make your money. ITS NOT WORTH IT
Haha the promiscuous single mothers are always lurking 😂
My fear when it comes to asking out a coworker is if i get rejected and then starts to act awkward around me or try to avoid me all together.
Yes. This.
I think we would both be acting a little awkward and trying to avoid each other I could not imagine what that would be like going into work everyday I mean that is all you would be thinking about.
@@capt.obvious4487 it’s pretty awkweird. ‘Cause they know you’re attracted to them and everything.
You need to low-key the 'asking out'.
i.e. the rejection-proof method:
Along the lines of...
"I'm going to go get some lunch - you hungry?"
or maybe at the end of the shift...
"Man what a day, I'm gonna grab a Starbucks - wanna come with?
You see the formula?
You're gonna do what you're gonna do, and she can join you if she wants.
Casual af, and should be said that way.
I love your honesty, transparency and sincerity Courtney. You have a beautiful heart and your goal is to truly help others, especially men who have a difficult time trying to understand things from a woman’s perspective. You have no idea how many lives you touch with your content and what a difference you make. Thank you✨
When they first begin dating (a few dates) it should be secret for a short time. When it becomes serious they should come out with it
I met my wife at work, so it worked out for me. In our case, she worked in a different department where I didn't see her much during the day, but it was a small company where it would have been awkward if we had broken up. However, we've both left the company since then, so (pre-pandemic) we didn't see each other constantly at work. She was also the one to formally ask me out after I showed interest in her, which helped a lot! So, while you should proceed with caution, it can work out. I think the tips in this video are good. Also you have to consider that the alternative to finding a partner at a workplace is often dating apps now...yikes.
Nowadays, men run a risk getting involved with someone at work. Be prepared to leave the company if you go for it
My approach to this issue has been for 30 years: Remember that if the relation doesn't work out, you still have to work with that person after you break up.
I like the fact that Courtney keeps it real and isn’t a grifter
Agreed! Good point.
She's only saying what you want to hear and she is doing it to get paid.
I married my co-worker and been together since! We both worked for the same doctor but in different offices and we met over the phone. The medical company didn't have any policies regarding dating within and the doctor I worked for, was okay on the matter, as long as we both had a good understanding. But to say the least, my employer was trying to set me up with my future wife lol! Anyway, we dated for six years and been happily married for going on 14 years this December.
So in my book, be safe and check the policies and be professional, and if you date at the place of employment, do it in a different department and have a good understanding matter. Otherwise, it is best to date and do the personable things outside on your own time and not at your place of employment for you don't want to ruin your own career and someone else. Thank you!;)
It is not worth the risk, there are plenty of other options available outside of work.
Me and my daughter's mother worked in a warehouse together. We stayed together for 20 years. As far as what other people think, I would say don't worry about that.
Do you think this phenomenon of dating coworkers is more due in part with the fact that as you enter adulthood and the corporate world, WORK becomes the main social circle/interaction that people experience. In my personal opinion, I think we should normalize other ways of meeting people like attending Meet Up events, socials, and finding a local community (yoga, intramural sports, book club). On the other hand, I can understand building attraction for someone while working in the same space and being able to observe one another.
Got to have a social circle outside of work. don't care how many hours you work.
For the majority of people, the job is temporary. Almost no one stays with the same company for their whole career, or really long-term. I think it matters more if you work closely together physically. Otherwise, if you're on different teams and working in different areas I think people should just go for it.
Really glad you highlighted the industry you work in. I work in the creative sector, which isn't typically 9-5. It's common place for co-workers to date each other, as we don't have much time to meet anyone outside it.
I dated a coworker (not the same team though). Our relationship didn't work out, but we were on good terms some time after it.
I know a countless number of successful happy endings of coworkers dating in my company.
As much as I appreciate this channel, I think I will do whatever I think is right for me.
I follow 2 former radio personalities. They've worked together here in NY and got their own radio show in Seattle. They've been friends and coworkers for 10 years. They moved together after they got fired from their job during the pandemic, about a year ago. They just announce on Twitch they are officially dating, but hid it from everyone, including their parents and close friends for over a year. So they've date when they were on the air. But no one knew.
I dated a co-worker. Worst mistake I ever made. Still see her every day and it’s just plain uncomfortable even months after, especially when other people found out behind the scenes. Thank goodness I’m not the petty type and know when to step away. Thank God she also wasn’t the type to tell HR or report me for something false. We only interact IF we need to for work purposes.
Kinda same story. I never dated her but after a while of talking we finally started to fool around. Now she’s talking to another coworker. Sucks to see that happening
Is this like dating in a small town? Everyone knows about your relationship, you see each other whether it works or goes south. Went through this with a friend that I liked more than she liked me. It took months of no contact, and we are finally able to be in the same coffee group again. Thankful to have her as an acquaintance.
People date their Co-workers because of comfortability. Unless it is a big company that you can do days, months without seeing that co-worker.
“Today, we’re going to go over ‘Should you date a co-worker?’. Simple answer: no. Long answer: no. Unless you have no interest in having a job, don’t do it. You’re interested in her, she knows it, you give her attention, she pretends to like the attention, and waits for you to make your move and ask her out (and then you do), she goes to HR, and you get suspended. Not worth it.
Hi Courtney, another great, well thought out video.
This is the first time I've caught one just after it's been posted. Amazing how many people comment not having watched the video! Personally I like to hear what you have to say.
I dated a co-worker (same employment level, same department) for two and a half years. Then it ended. Badly.
Had to see that person every day for another year and a half as I didn't want to quit the job. Had to deal with gossips and rumour mill and more, Had some difficult times. Now I make it my policy never to date a co-worker having learned the hard way. There are plenty of other, safer, options out there. It's not worth it in my opinion.
8/10 One of if not the best video on if you should or shouldn’t date a coworker at work by breaking it down with great explanations.
I would never date a coworker ,,,I’m a guy and would always get married women trying to have sex with me ,,I’m not married or have kids ,,,I just wanted to go to work 😩😂
Same Bruh. They finally gave up tho.
Act like a nice guy, and women don't like them so they get rolling a little faster especially if you trying not to make a mess about things
I dated a coworker(albeit from a different department.)
It didn’t end that favorably,..since her boss was my father, so I had to deal with that for a bit, post-breakup. 😓
I'm a success story! We're going strong 2.5yrs and he was my boss at my internship. I didn't think twice about it because it was a temporary position for me, but he definitely did because post Me too era he defs had a lot to lose if it went south. At the end of the day we knew that we just clicked and we became best friends before we got together. My advice is to be sure that there's a strong foundation of friendship and it isn't just lust/infatuation.
i'd advise against it. never done it, although i had crushes on coworkers i decided not to pursue it. i have heard stories from both ends. some worked out really well, other disastrously wrong. a couple of former coworkers dated and ended up getting married and are doing quite well. but i've heard far more disaster stories than good ones. my ex for example, some time after we broke up, she ended up dating a coworker for a while. he got her pregnant, immediately bailed on the relationship and started spreading false rumors about her, basically calling her a whore. she ended up having to deal with the pregnancy on her own because that asshole clearly wasn't going to take care of the child.
Your coworkers are NOT your friends! You can get along with them to get work done, but alway, Always, ALWAYS keep your boundaries & watch your back. Dating, or even hooking up with coworkers will only create more drama & headaches, overall making your situation worse.
This is profoundly sobering
I left a good relationship to date a co-worker that I had a HUGE crush on. We dated for 2 months. We had sex, slept together, hanged out a lot. It was fun, but she had a problem: She wanted to control my life, and I didn't allow it. She left me with the excuse that she didn’t see a future with me, but I'm pretty sure it was because I didn’t allow her to play games and control my life.
The thing is, she is from my same department, but she doesn't work directly with me (which is good), and I dont see her too often, but when I do see her, I start to feel really bad and awkward, even though the break up happened 9 months ago. What really bothers me, is that their is a slight chance that in the near future, she could end up working with me and my direct co-workers and that freaks me out.
After this experience, I've learned my lesson, worked on being a better man, started getting out of my confort zone, hell, I even started practicing Krav Maga to distract myself and meet new people, and to get in good shape. I'll keep being single for quite a while, working on my better self.
Wow I can relate! My dilemma is seeing him everyday in the same department 😢
Whats the update?
You left a good relationship for a short fling? That’s your fault
@@leedlbagginshield8492 yeah, its true. But at the same time, I didnt liked my long term relationship at that moment. Ive learned now that she has grown a lot and shes has done well, which makes me feel good. Ive also come a long way after that relationship. Now im in a new commited relationship with a person I want to make a life with. Literally i dont want to be with anybody else.
@@EriPages now im in a new commited relationship and happy with the new girl. She is all I ever REALLY wanted with someone. Came a long way after that comment 3 years ago.
Hey Courtney. What are your thoughts on dating single mothers? I request you to make a video about that someday.
Been there bro. There's not too many that have their life together. Don't do it unless they have a well paying career, and I'm talking a career not a job at Walmart. She can't be looking for a Knight in shining armor to rescue her from her own life. Look for the red flags. If her kid has a stupid name, like Haiden and looks like a puerto rican, and her mom is white, run, don't walk, run the other way, no matter how hot she is. Also single mothers, 99% of the time are single due to their own decisions and need to know their place, damaged goods. So if they still have that princess mentality you can hit it and quit it but don't move her into your place or marry it. I've only met 2 single mothers that were worth anything...but I still couldn't do it. Best of luck bro.
Depends how hot she is lol jk
Thanks for the info guys. But for me this already came and went for me. A few months ago I met this girl from work. Which is ironic because this is a video about how I should avoid dating women at work. 😂😂 And we started hanging out, but I did admit that I liked her and she said that she wasn't ready for another relationship because her ex was super abusive towards her which is a justifiable reason. And yes. She does have a kid. With the abusive ex might I add, but I've already made the decision to move on and find someone else. I still wanna be friends with her but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cross her off the dating list.
NEVER
it depends i dated a single mum but she didnt want any more kids and id like one little me in this world, its a shame cause she was great in every other way
I dated a co worker and in the end it didn’t work out but when we broke up, he actually wasn’t working there anymore. We weren’t in the same department but we did see each other around the building every now and then.
Currently I am dating someone from work; there’s nothing against it with my company. We’re both on the same level and we’re in the same department but with what we do, there are days where we don’t see each other for almost an entire day. And when we do, we’re on different sides of the building and the only time we really see each other is during break/lunch or if we need to cover an area for each other. So like what was said in the video, it really depends on the situation. I took a risk again and we are going strong. We were friends friends first for about 2 years before we started dating and now everyone on our team including our supervisors, are happy for both of us. We’ve been officially together for almost 1.5 years now.
I dated a coworker who i worked with pretty closely...and we even lived together. Let's just say we got burnt out because we never ever had any space away from one another. Don't recommend haha
A girl/woman in my office (2000+ people) who works in a different floor & different business area began pursuing me. The embryo of a relationship was forming, but never Flowered due to external factors. She works a different shift, so the chances of us crossing paths is very limited, although her job is somewhat 'fixed' in terms of physical location, whereas my job tends to have me going to any floor in our office. However, on Thursday we did cross paths as I was going out for a coffee with a colleague & she was arriving at work. We made eye contact & smiled at each other, but didn't speak. I should add; I recently *_unfriended_* (but not blocked) her on Facebook, because it wasn't healthy us constantly viewing each others FB pages when whatever-we-had was clearly over...
I've had consistent hook ups with coworkers. Don't. Just don't. Maybe it's my fault cause I'd hook up with 2-4 different co workers at the same job - thus leading to some jealousy issues - and NONE of them ended well. I had to leave a job cause one was stalking me, and another had complained to the owner that I was being inappropriate with clientele at work (this one had jealousy issues, and tried to ruin my status at said workplace). It's better to avoid dating co workers in general. Sure, sometimes it works out, but I reckon that's more rare than what's the norm. If you want to date, search elsewhere.
Curious, but what profession are you in? Office gig?
“What if it doesn’t work out” is why I’m hesitant to date someone in my apartment building. The thing is though finding someone is just too hard to not throw caution to the wind when you do find someone that might work out.
Ironic that I'm watching this just after getting lunch at Chick-Fil-A.
🐔
I got my first sack letter in 2016 after crushing on my co-worker whom my boss has either been crushing on or wanting to crush on.
😝😝😝😝😝😝
Anyway, he later called me to apologize after a year, and the good thing is, I was already my boss and doing better than him. I thanked him for what he did.
Great job Courtney I've been in this situation countless of times and never wanted to take a chance You knocked this one out of the Park.
Excellent video Courtney, yes I've dated a coworker and it did work out fine. We were on the same level as employees in different departments we opted to keep it secretive (to our managers) although close friends in my department and her department knew we dating. Definitely do NOT date someone you are managing or your supervisor.
Your last sentence -- can you please elaborate?
Dating co-workers, there is a saying that says," Don't sh#t where you eat ".
I had to pull a work buddy aside and give him that piece of advice. He didnt take it. Train wreck followed.
at one job I had a co worker and when the time came that it was her last day there, she approached me to 'go out' that night. this was a smart way that this could be handled.
I had a boss who wanted to date me in the worst way. First of all, I was not attracted to her, and secondly it was highly unethical for a boss to ask a subordinate out on a date. I found another position in a separate department to get away from her.
Here's the greatest tip about dating a coworker....DON'T DO IT! Stack your paper instead!
Indeed
How often do you fall in love? Every other month? Every year? Every decade?
I'd rather roll up Some cash, and stack the gold and silver instead: God's money, that nature can't destroy being why it had been money for over 5,000 years
I knew someone would drop this gem. Thanks for typing it out for us! Stack them chips
Sleazy is easy
I went out with a coworker and it turned out to be a disaster. First of all, she was crazy. (LOL) She would get jealous and act weird if I talked to any other coworkers or customers and it just made it weird on a day-to-day when we had to work together. On the other hand, I didn't learn my lesson and ended up getting close with another coworker, at the same job, because I confided in her about this crazy coworker. And now I've been married to this other coworker for 20 years this year. The difference was the first one was not mature enough to handle the situation, the second obviously was. My wife's rule was she would never date a coworker but she obviously broke that rule for me. (blowing on nails...) Honestly, I probably wouldn't suggest it but you never know who you're going to fall in love with so follow your heart.
I’ve dated 3 coworkers (different companies) before and they were all fine! Never a direct manager or report.
There's extenuating circumstances, believe me. Remote towns with small populations where there is a central industrial hub which drives the other work in the area (i.e. military bases, large mining plants, etc.) limit the pool considerably and limit options in this aspect.
I agree with you.Your so correct.
I honestly wished I would of gone after my work crush. Long story short we had a bond like no other. I never connected with someone like I did with her but I had a lot of insecurities about myself & I wasn't able to confront them at the time. So I justified me not pursuing her as being professional. I regret not going after her but lesson learned. I am good enough for a girl of a certain caliber.
Just find a way to reach out to her. Quit being a pansy.
@@EriPages nah no need, that's the past. Just move on and take the lesson to the chin.
I dated a coworker when I was really young and working a part-time job during college. We remained friends after we broke up. I’m in a situation at the place I work at where a younger lady is showing she really likes me. I’m semi-retired and only working there part-time for extra income and to stay busy. I’m 56 and the lady is 32 years old... and my supervisor. I don’t believe in dating someone I work with, especially a supervisor. She has been progressively showing more interest in me. I was sick for two days and came back today. When she saw me, I thought she was going to hug me. She already shows me favoritism over other employees. She often touches me on the arm and the touches have started to linger. I have a lot of concerns. She’s my supervisor, she’s a lot younger and she hasn’t really had much relationship experience. I haven’t reciprocated in any way. She is attractive and a very smart, nice person. I just have too many concerns about it. I’m not quite sure how to handle this situation. She seems like she’s getting closer to asking me out on a date. She makes sure she dresses nicer and goes all out with her hair and makeup when she knows she will be working with me. I’ve gone in on my days off when she works and she keeps her appearance much more plain. If I don’t show interest will she eventually give up? This has been going on for about 8 months. She is very shy, had health problems as a child, hasn’t dated much and seems to be very sheltered. She’s such a nice young lady and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. But, I also know that she is a lot younger and not very experienced in the dating world. I’m not sure how to say “no” if and when she asks me out. I think she eventually will. Most of the people I work with can see she is interested in me. I think she’s at the point of trying to gather up her courage to ask me out on a date.
this is a great video, all great advice! I've been in all of the above scenarios, and I've worked with happily married couples and multiple friends have spouses that they met at work. My advice would be, if you would be ok switching jobs if things don't work out and you aren't working in the same dept and neither is reporting to the other than go for it and like she said, keep HR in the loop. You don't necessarily have to tell your coworkers but you absolutely have to tell HR (for legal reasons). If one of you is in a position of authority over the other even if not a direct report than you're playing with fire. People can claim favoritism even if there is none and you have little to no defence against it. Perhaps meeting at work and then switching jobs once things get romantic would be best.
I know 2 people (coworkers) that fell in love got married had kids. Then i also know a man where he dated a coworker, the girl made the first move, she was damn hot so i see why. but then the relationship ended badly. The girl went to HR and filed a complaint not sexual harassments just a complaint because she didn't want to work with him on a project. HR though however classified it as sexual harassments and the guy lost his career; terminated within 3 days. Moral of the story in this modern age DONT DO IT. that man lost everything he was on the road to being a millionaire by age 35.
Hey Courtney, if you're looking for an idea, it would be really cool to hear a woman's perspective on men's sleepwear. I mean... chances are if she sees what you sleep in, you're doing pretty good. But I find it's not a talked about subject. Also I'm in need of PJ's and would love to know I'm making a smart choice.
Thanks for everything you do! ❤
That is something I have never thought about doing before! Thanks for the idea ❤️
Yeah! I'm used to plaid sleep. Any thoughts?
@@kalebwieland4938 I'm partial to the button-up shirt and matching pants style ones, but plaid pants and a t-shirt is still good, too. For all I know, they want men sleeping in their birthday suit or in just boxers and a wifey. Maybe the Ebenezer Scrooge style cap and gown? This might be wise to make into one of those videos where she chats with her girlfriends and gets some varied input. I just wanted to put the idea out there because men's sleepwear is rarely talked about. I recently got a flyer for a unisex store advertising a sale on sleepwear and literally every item in the flyer was for women.
What sleep wear?
I have personally never dated a co-worker and I likely won't either
Dated my boss before and she gave me a raise straight away. Made work so much fun so if you froth over someone at work just go for it king x
I met my wife at work, we were friends first, and once we started dating we both got other jobs in other places in the University
Some of the best girls I have ever met are coworkers. It's annoying, I never find that quality on the apps. If you date a coworker, make sure you work in separate departments or something that isn't too close. Definitely do not date someone you supervise or supervises you.
it's fine to date a coworker if you're just working some random job that can easily be replaced with something else.
But if you have a chance at having a great career at a particular place, you should never try to date a coworker. I agree with Courtney's reasons on this one. 1. It can impact your relationship with coworkers and your dept depending on the working relationship you have with the other person 2. many of your coworkers will be in your business 3. there is a great chance the relationship wouldn't work out, so could you imagine you both staying at the company without it affecting your career and your enjoyment being at work 4. Do you want to come home and share the same work stories everyday? 5. How will your partner react to you having to interact or network with people of the opposite sex? 6. Do you want to have to compete with your partner at work for a salary, bonus, or an exciting new role?
As a boss who dated a 19 year old coworker, who do you think HR sided with?
Hope that trim was worth it!
any updates?
xd :)
What would you suggest to people w/out social media trying to get dates? When I ask women directly, they act like I'm out of touch, and just say no or make up obvious excuses.
Great topic and really helpful advice. Also, great color choice for your outfit!
Every situation is different and there’s never a perfect answer. If nothing else, have emotional self-control and focus on behaving the best way you can so whatever happens, you won’t regret it later on.
Cool stuff and looking forward to the next vid!
Tough one...Company policy has a tendency to be overlooked when certain people are involved. Seen it used as leverage but after one has left. Game on !
I've known a lot of people who have dated coworkers, and I've seen a lot higher chance of long term relationships and marriage in such relationships than dating outside the workplace, however, I have also seen FAR more trouble in the act of TRYING.
I have only asked out a coworker 3 times, and all three said no. (Not all that surprising, as I am totally incompetent in romance.)
One actively avoiding me, acting like she was scared of me, and eventually leaving the company shortly after that happened. I absolutely had no hard feelings because she turned me down, and I tried to explain that, but she really acted scared, and I have no idea why. It actually hurt my feelings a bit (hard to do since I'm an INTP and don't think about such feelings much) seeing that she was actively scared of me. I'm certainly no danger to anyone who isn't actively attacking me, so I still don't have a clue why she felt that way.
One was simply a friend zone situation that she didn't really consider it a date until she realized it was just the two of us. It just ended up awkward, and didn't go anywhere. I don't even consider it a real date, after the fact, because she didn't. It was almost painful. I liked her a lot, and was always impressed with how smart and driven she is, along with being attracted to her physically. (She has such gorgeous smile and eyes, omg, so cute.) It hurt me to realize there was just no hope of anything more. I wish her the best in her new marriage.
The last one I just asked if she was seeing anyone, not even actually asking for a date yet, and she simply answered that she was, which is fine, and I didn't have any hard feelings over it. I never mentioned it again, but she turned around and immediately filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against me. I got fired over it, and when the lawsuit got to court (I REFUSED to settle), it was stopped at the end of the plaintiff presenting phase, as they didn't even come close to showing any evidence at all for their claim, her lawyer was censured for the frivolous suit, and the suit was dismissed with prejudice. It still cost me a ton.
After that one, I pretty much swore off asking out anyone anymore. I haven't had a date since. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.
I HIGHLY recommend men steer clear of coworkers, SPECIFICALLY because of that last case. It's NOT worth the risk of job and livelihood, for such a low chance of anything. Guys, you do NOT want to end up homeless just because of asking someone out. In today's world, ANY woman can completely ruin a guy's life just for asking. It's beyond scary.
Dated a co worker when I was 19 at my first job working at a local CVS. It's not fun when it ends! I was lucky to learn my lesson about that when I was in a job I didn't need. I can't imagine the fallout if it happens on your career job.
Don't do it guys! Find someone outside of your company that you don't have to work with professionally.
Beautiful and professional looking, Courtney ;)
And I don't think women understand how risky it is for men to make approaches in the workplace. They just seem to get mad at the guy for not asking her out after she showed interest and take it as a rejection.
I believe if you are honest,
transparent, reliable, trustworthy, and respectful it is a good thing. Obviously some companies do not like it. I always try to be respectful and good manners. I have seen youtube videa on this subject. People are human and love is something to work hard at .I pray to be worthy in life.life can be tough in these situations.
Had this person on my mind and suddenly this pops into my feed! Thanks Courtney
Funny thing is my grandma and grandpa worked in the same department for many years and they married each other. It's been +30 years and they are still together
I have dated a coworker and it ruined work for me. I have also hooked up with multiple coworkers as one night stands, and the results varied; for the most part, hook ups at work have ended well, but one did end bad because she fell in love, even after we CLEARLY stated that it was only a hook up and nothing more. Results will vary folks.
I've had a crush on a coworker for a while. I wouldn't want to make a move as long as we work alongside each other, though, for the reasons you mentioned. We have a great relationship as peers and she has ambitions to work in another field, so maybe someday!
did you eventually go for it?
I actually wanted a video / opinion on this TOPIC. Crushes in the workplace is pretty common. But may have awkward situations, ill effects long term & CAREER SUICIDE, especially if its a SENIOR / BOSS.
I dated a co-worker but we unfortunately ended the relationship. It had nothing to do with our professional lives or her personally. She was a good person overall, but not the right person for me
Dated a coworker. Actually met my significant other at work (not a coworker). Was OK but like someone said, "Don't crap where you eat!" But because of the circumstances of today, with people "living" at work! Where else are you gonna meet someone? Just as long as they aren't your boss or you're not their boss! For me, 2 weeks turned into 20 years!
If you have any desire to be in management, don't roll the dice. Management and the owners of a company do not want to deal with possible SH situations. You have to ask yourself, are you just looking for a good time or do you really think that person is the one? If you're just looking for a good time, find it elsewhere because when it goes south, there will be gossip and negativity. Everyone in the office can get behind 2 people that turn out to really be a great match, but that is rare. BTW, I met my wife of 30 years at work.
I'm not outright opposed to it, but it is definitely something that shouldn't be taken lightly. There are some real consequences if HR gets involved. I guess being very mature is the first stipulation. They say never work for family for a reason. It is very hard to separate work from pleasure, or work from family. People often over compensate by being harder on, or rude to the one they are close to, as to show that they are not showing favorites, it can border on abuse and harassment, if not be those.
I dated a co-worker, she continued to work at my company for 5 more months before she quit and got another job. She had different career goals so I wasn't too concerned about dating her, but it was still tricky within those 5 months because something did go wrong and it was hard to deal with because your other co-workers knew about it too...lol. Things did smooth out, but after two years we broke up. It wasn't meant to be.
I was an RA in college and I had a very pretty female coworker during a summer semester who partied with and slept with my residents. It was a dry campus and her doing that made a fun/easy job into a difficult job. Since she was sneaking them alcohol and I regularly had to bust parties in my hall which is something I hated having to do. I asked her to stop doing that but her response was "Why? I can teach them to be safe about it. Wouldn't you rather them drink in a safe environment?"
I never caught her but if I did she would have immediately lost her job and would lose the "free room and board" part of the job. But what did happen was many of my residents who partied frequently with her didn't meet the GPA requirements and so they were expelled. But the most unlucky ones got expelled mid-semester because they threw a party in the study lounge and lit a billboard and a couch on fire and the whole dorm needed to be evacuated at 1 am. And it was the only weekend I ever went home my whole time in college, so I was just annoyed at how quickly things fell apart when I was not there.
It's like in life, you get out of it what you put into it, a relationship only has the value you give it, love blossoms wherever, no one can change that, the heart wants what the heart wants
Courtney looking professional as heck in this video.
Lol, one of my coworkers is dating the assistant head supervisor. HR would shit themselves if they only knew.
Is dating a co worker against that companies policy? If not then what is the problem?
@@susanmcguire4664 its a worker dating a supervisor. Its illegal. Because of favoritism, favors etc.
If you can't date someone from your workplace, then what alternative is there if I may ask? Online dating has nothing but scammers. Nobody goes to church these days. Bars are sleaze joints to pick up one-night stands. And customers asking store employees on dates is apt to get you thrown out by security. People spend one-third of their lives on the job, and coworkers are the only people you really get to know inside and out. Lots of married couples these days were coworkers at their jobs. And yes, sometimes it can be a supervisor. So what's the problem here? It's just like dating in high school. It's the only practical risk worth taking.
it's still not a good idea to date from work or school, while i agree online dating apps and sites have turned into a playground for criminals and scammers. If you really want to meet a partner have your friends or social circles (outside of work or school) introduce you to someone. Or try to approach women in the mall or restaurants. If still no luck, go to a brothel!
Trust me, if you date or get involved with someone from work or school it could cost you your job, paycheck, image, reputation and everyone will turn against you or alienate you. There is always someone who is jealous or does not like someone else in cohort at work or school or are always trying to turn people against each other. Not worth it!
Well, it depends on how you approach it. Working with someone is a great way to get to know a person. You are also more likely to be on an even playing field when it comes to social and economic status. If it goes horribly awry, that is 100% your fault for not doing your research first.
I just started dating my coworker 💀😂
Good luck! It works out for some people
@@CourtneyRyan thanks for addressing this topic in this video.
@@CourtneyRyan I got two in the office trying to down play that they don’t like me. One of them showed me that she wanna get it in by body language and eye F each other.
Good luck with that
My fiancée and I worked at the same place when we got together, but we were in COMPLETELY different departments. It can work. Proximity (or rather, lack thereof) is key, I think. Hope it goes well for you!
Last 3 romantic relationships were at work - 1 didn't work because there wasn't a healthy communication going.
My uncle married her co-worker. She's his secretary. So, more about how strong the bond between 2 people hv.
That being said, stats do suggest not to hv a bf gf relationship in same work environment.
Also
When it comes to considering dating a co-worker the vetting process is extremely important if you are interested in a co-worker you should really take the time to see how her character is. How does she treat others at work..does she come to work on time….does she gossip about others…how is she with authority….does she flirt excessively…is she humble…be very careful because 9/10 times when things go south they take the woman’s side first then will want to know your side
Courtney, hello! I have one off-top question. What recording equipment do you use for voice and image? I've always liked the quality of your videos.