My wife is the opposite. She can do anything and almost never needs me. Maybe 0.1% of the time she just needs my stronger muscles for something she’s working on or maybe needs someone, anyone, to hold someone while she works on it, any monkey will do and I’m just the monkey who happens to be nearby. 😂
Kika, almost everyone has gone through the same thing as you did trying to remove a stubborn part. The trick is to get mad at the part instead of getting mad at yourself!
K, words have extraordinary power. I know because I'm a retired stage hypnotist. When hypnotizing someone, we hypnotists often say "Try and unlock your hands and find you cannot. Try! Try hard. The harder you try, the more locked they become." Using the word, try, implies, and suggests failure. And invariably the person fails to unlock their hands, to unstuck them. Anyway. Here is a simple, yet enormously powerful word-usage change you can do easily that will profoundly improve your state of mind, expectations, and the outcome action you're doing or undertaking. STOP SAYING "TRY". Why? Because "try" implies failure. Instead of saying "try" say "I CAN, AND I WILL"... before every predicate / action verb. For example, in this video before you began demoing, you said "I'm going to try not to...". Rather, the next time you're about to say try, pause, and say "I can, and I will" ... followed by the action you are about to take. In that instance, had you said "I can and I will demo this successfully (or whatever is your expected outcome), you will not fail AND not give your mind a bothersome, troubling disappointment and frustration. Remember what Yoda said wisely to young Luke - "Do or do not. There is no try." Make it your mantra. Remember it along with "I can, and I will...."
Tip from a former BC sailboater. I too was frustrated by the folks who anchored around me. My solution was to find the least desirable area to anchor and sure enough ❤other boaters would anchor close by my boat. At around 8 at night, I would pull anchor and move to the more desirable location close by my current anchorage I found no one would follow me.
At first, I was with everyone else feeling bad about the frustration in not being able to do something without the help of someone else. As this played out, I can't hep but feel that this was a bit overplayed for the benefit of the sponsorship. Mental health is a very delicate subject, and many people suffer varying degrees of mental health issues. This ad spot left a bad taste in my mouth. I've been watching this channel for a long time, and normally I try to stay positive and give people the benefit of the doubt, but this one feels in really bad taste to me.
5:50 - I'm an IT guy.. I fix and replace components in computers. Ever dug around in a laptop you've never opened before? (I also have ADHD) When pulling apart something, always sit and look. Examine. Look behind, above, below in front, inside etc. Slow down. I have taken this approach to everything unknown now. Especially mechanical things like what you where just doing. I know how you feel. I have a habit of getting anxious and walking away for 5 minutes to.. well.. just walking away.. The above method has been helpful in getting me back to the problem. All the best!
I moved into an RV, full time, as my retirement home, and adventure wagon. I started watching Uma and many other sailing channels years ago. As romantic a notion as sailing the world is, the reality for a 6'4" over 60 person with limited income was not going to work.... of course the Wynns led me into RV life, but backwards. I watch 12 different sailing/boat channels. YES, living in, not just vacationing, is very much like sailing, if you do it the way like to... which is to head out into the toolies for weeks at a time, so...... provisioning is a thing, and water usage is a thing, and black and grey tanks are a thing. And yes... if there is one RV, it might be a good place! I am a whistler, and a mimic... so naturally I can whistle the UMA theme
I'm an RV'er and that is definetly bad RV etiquette, no one should ever park that close to you unless they are part of your group. Thanks for the videos and can't wait to see the finished job.
People, huh. Sometimes people just suck in their absence of awareness of how their actions affect others….and then there’s the ones that just don’t care as long as they’re ok. Stay beautiful inside and tread lightly peeps, it keeps you young, happy and free. 😎👍🍻
I totally agree about the parking etiquette. That's a no brainer, but then today, common sense is lost to the wind, it seems. People! Thanks again for another entertaining episode and stay safe always from the Philippines 💞.
That's Europe for you: we were camping there about 50 (!) years ago (1958-62...military family) and at that time people were putting their tent stakes in literally between ours at some sites. At one campsite we arrived to set up and our neighbours pulled their camp chairs out and sat down to watch us make camp. My brother and I decided "tit for tat", got out OUR camp chairs and sat there squarely facing and staring at them. Didn't take long for them to get up and go inside (we were 9 and 11 years old). Sometimes a message can be subtle, sometimes you need a sledge hammer.
I just started watch your channel from the beginning and seeing the growth as a content creator, sailor, and person is such a privilege. Thank you for all the content.
It is always interesting to see how people see themselves vs. the way the rest of us see them. I think it’s pretty safe to say that no one sees you as incapable, Kika. The strongest and healthiest of people can share their real feelings of vulnerability. ❤❤I think the two of you are a sailing ‘power couple’ in that you always have each other’s backs. Teamwork makes the dream work! (Sorry, kinda corny, but hey, in the moment.)🤗👏🏻👍👍💯❤️❤️
Thank you, Kika, for sharing and being so vulnerable on camera. It is honestly so helpful to me as someone who, like you, sometimes has a strong inner critic. You normally make everything you do seem so effortless, it is really inspiring to watch you work through some of the same challenges. I hope knowing you aren't the only one helps you also feel a little bit less lonely. I continue to strive to give myself grace and empathy, and I hope you do, too ❤
I'm also adhd, and was scared of trying meditation for a long time. The idea that helped me was to not think of it as sitting still or keeping my mind blank, but rather that the goal is to focus. It is literally you practicing focusing. You can meditate while running or doing other things too, or even meditate on watching your thoughts change. For me, focusing on sensing my entire body was the most interesting, because it became a sort of challenge to sense as much of it at once as possible. You mind actually starts doing weird cool stuff when you go a bit deeper into it, which can be fun to experience and honestly feels pretty good.
When you build to be nice you hide the screws and other fasteners. Then when it comes time to demo you find that all that good work in the original build makes it hell to get back apart. Hang in there girl, you will figure it all out. Then all will be good again. And I cannot think that sitting on that beautiful beach watching the ocean for a while will do anything except help.. Take care and have a great day.🙂🙂
Big up for coming out with your ADHD troubles, Kika. I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism about a year ago. I'm now on medication for ADHD (Elvanse 50 mg) and rebuilding my life at 60. The hard part is to forgive yourself for not having accomplished what you had promised yourself to do, but the feeling of finally being the real you is so worth it. You know about masking, right? I don't think neurotypical people would notice, but you've been masking all along and in this episode, the real you started shining through and it is just so beautiful to see. Literally. The difference is striking. Please keep going - you're clearly doing it right!
“ADHD is a prime example of a fictitious disease.” After turning 87 years old, American psychiatrist Dr. Leon Eisenberg (the man who invented it) made this statement to the German weekly Der Spiegel and seven months later, he died. Apparently, he had decided to come clean and confess before moving to the beyond. Just because you get bored in a world that rewards worker bees and corporate cubicle cutouts doesn't mean there's something wrong with YOU.
IMO you should keep off meds as long term it just causes other problems like wrecked kidneys. Here's a starting point for you, Dr Berg on u tube is a starting point and type in ADHD
Happy to say that I am back in sync with the channel. The cold weather stuff was not something I could relate to. Building stuff, warm weather and warm water feeds my vicarious needs. Thanks for ripping your boat to shreds again!
I can relate better to the channel again because it is again about the boat. I was getting a bit detached when the channel was more about climbing and stuff which is not something I am interested in. Norway on the other hand was very fascinating for me. Good we are all back now.
To be fair, you almost had that out by yourself, if Dan was 5 minutes later, you would of had it done. You guys are so strong together, you both have accomplished so much. You guys were one of the channels that I contribute to me buying a boat, and gradually making her passage ready. As always, wishing you both the best, and hope to see you out on the water one day.
27:08 @svsantiago is spot on… It’s like trying to open a jar and after struggling with it for a while, you hand it over to someone else who just opens it easily. They feel macho, but you really know (if you can be humble) that you contributed the lion’s share. I love you both! You’re a ray of sunshine between squalls.
She *would've had* it done sooner or later! It just *would have* taken a little more learning "on the job" until one starts developing the intuition for dealing with the idiosyncracies of some new (or less often used) skillset.
Oh Kika, I understand your frustration! I live in a similar headspace. You should know, though, that watching you at the beginning of your demolition projects today (and every time I watch), you give me confidence to attempt my own projects. You would have gotten it done on your own without Dan, it just would have just taken a bit more time. It was almost there! You also make many of his projects go much faster. You are a wonderful team! ❤️
You got this. Give yourself 24 hours to grieve, complain and feel miserable. Then, get back up off the couch and back in Uma. You both are so inspirational.
Kika, As “the original ADD kid” I went through all the treatments including TM and mindful meditation. They are Amazing tools to use. On the flip side, I was once working a temp job doing demolition on a retail shop. I was working ever so diligently to take out big pieces so that it would be easier to carry off. The foreman came over and snatch the tools out of my hands and ripped the piece off the wall in five seconds and a million pieces. Handing back the tools he said “Son, the only thing in this world you need to gentle with is people”. Yes, meditation and positive thinking is amazing, but sometimes when you’re stuck trying to take that shelf down, you need to just choose violence. Get the Big Tool, get the saws, get the prybar. Maybe this will resonate with you. You guys are great. Excited to see the new boat!
Kika, you are more capable than you know or believe. Something I notice is you are knowledgeable about hand tools and you use them correctly. That says alot!
Way to go Kika! Deep breathing and perspective. Dan often uses brut strength to shift stuff. You are strong but it feels better to shift gently, so issues on removal are the hidden screws. Take your time. (from and old guy still dreaming of voyages).
Kika, you are a powerful young woman capable of doing anything. You constantly amaze this old man with your ability and knowledge on how to achieve a solution to a problem. Keep your chin up, and together with your soulmate Dan, you can both achieve your goals. Keep going.
It's the same thing in parking lots. I've parked far away with no one around to avoid getting my car dinged and scratched. Almost always, someone will come along and park next to my car. A few have rhe decency to park one spot away, most will just park right next to my car. It doesnt make any sense.
Kika, we thank you from the bottom of our HEART's for sharing. Our son suffers from ADHD, recently divorced, can't keep a job, which has increased his anxiety to a crippling state.
Just found this channel yesterday, and was up till 3 AM watching. I'm currently gutting the interior of my 36' sailboat ('84 Morgan 366 Nelson-Marek) and doing a total renovation, and I was searching for layout ideas that are more functional and inviting than the standard industry layout. Although, thankfully, my boat is built more solidly (at least the bulkheads were tabbed-in properly, and the hull lay-up is 3/4"+ thick), like you I found some build issues that leave me feeling disgust for the builders. Seems these boats are built for profit rather than for long-term, reliable & solid service. What strikes me most after watching for many hours last night is that I just love your attitude. 'Just doing it' is the best way to learn, and most people are stopped cold at a young age by fear & insecurity. It takes courage to just dive in, knowing that somehow you'll figure it out. That's an incredibly powerful way of being that you're sharing. Of course it's also important to understand our personal limitations, and begin at a level where we can succeed, and then build from there. Seems to me that all of the knowledge you two have built up over the past 9 years was necessary in order to successfully tackle a total gutting and renovation of the boat interior. Wise choice to wait until you had the skills & understanding required to be successful. I'm curious about Dan's background, as it's obvious that he was gifted with a rare level of natural mechanical instincts. I recognize a brother machine-whisperer 🙂 The only thing lacking at the beginning was experience. I'm with you regarding the bulkheads/hull-integrity issue. The paltry-to-non-existent tabbing on your boat's bulkheads renders them only part of the interior cabinetry. They're doing little to nothing for hull integrity, and thus cutting them out does no harm. Leaving in only the bulkheads that are solidly attached until after the hull is reinforced with new bulkheads and ribbing is exactly what I'm doing, and makes sense mechanically. I think the idea that the builder was somehow building a more durable hull by not properly tabbing in the bulkheads is pure nonsense. They built them that way because it was fast, cheap, and good for short-term profits, and they figure nobody will ever see what crap workmanship they paid good money for. It's true that creating a 'hard point' on a weak & flexing hull would concentrate stress, with the obvious example being your mini chainplate bulkheads buckling the hull because they're concentrating the stress in a weak, flexible area (which is a horrendously poor design & build decision by the builder). But that doesn't mean the answer is to leave the hull weak & flexible, and I can see that Dan understands this. By fabricating & properly glassing in new bulkheads and ribs, the whole hull becomes far more rigid and the stresses are spread out over a far larger area, and most importantly, the ultimate strength of the hull goes up dramatically. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with for the new interior design/layout. And Kika, don't let that self-criticism get you down. First of all, you come across as highly competent, and you've got skills that few people on the planet have. And second, most people on the planet will come up short if they're comparing themselves to Dan regarding mechanical skills & instincts. So don't compare yourself to Dan. You two are partners, each bringing different parts to make a whole, and it's beautiful. How fortunate you are to have each other, and so relish the chances to ask Dan for help figuring something out, and realize that for anyone, being able to tackle any mechanical project competently by oneself takes a lot of experience, which you're building and will be building for life. Laugh at that doubting voice in your head when it comes up, and tell it you're not buying into that 'I'm not good enough' nonsense anymore. Best wishes to both of you, and I'll be watching more of your videos.
The "shoulds" and the "have tos" are killers to the soul. I need to stop and address my mental health well before I'm overwhelmed as well. All the best as you move forward with Uma and yourselves.
Years ago when we were fulltime rvers we were camped in Death Valley. Almost 1000 sites no one there but us. As it was late Spring and daytime temps were well over 100f. We came back from exploring one day and there was another rv parked right next to us. We moved!
The other Camper was a little too close, but there are reasons many prefer company. One is an expectation of friendliness among fellow campers. The other is security. A lot of people hate campers. They harass them, may even damage the camper. I experienced this as a kid when a group of drunk men shook the camper van we were sleeping in. As to frustration: I love how both Kika and Dan overcome all the challenges and setbacks of the sailing life. Do lots themselves. Help each other constantly. It's one of the features which sets this channel apart from the others. And they help improve each other, so that the less techie of the two can still fix more problems with the boat than the more techie person among many other sailing couples, many of whom let all the repair and even some maintenance work be done by repair shops.
Besides having a propensity for herding people gain a sense of security by being close to others. Especially in isolated areas. You can try putting out a long leash , water bowl and sign warning the dog is not friendly.
It's a little heartbreaking to watch the demo knowing all the love and effort you put into Uma. I'm praying the new and improved Uma lives up to your expectations. Looking forward to her rebirth from the fiberglass dust and frustrations. Good luck!
at 9:39 when you say you cannot sit still to meditate, i have to tell you when i work on a project from working on things to gardening i go on my amazon music and punch in meditation and listen to that while i do my gardening. its just very relaxing and kind of clears my mind and all i think about in that moment is digging in the garden but also keep in mind i have a Joint (I'm in a legal state) with me as well and zone out and do what project i have at hand.
Kika, keep being 'you', you're awesome at it 😊 Nobody can do 'everything', and you have the great asset of being part of a team. There are many things you can do better than Dan, and somethings he's better at than you. But look at what the team can do: it's awesome.
Kika, I’ve seen you soar on silks! You spent 9 years in a sailboat! Went up the mast! You don’t own a couch! You shared your feelings and vulnerabilities! You are so brave!
Motorhome Camper here. The place where you are parked is in the Parking App's we use. The places near the airport are know for Theft. Some of your Systems build can be used in a Motorhome like plumbing and electrical. Keep up the good videos of places to visit and the rebuild as this gives ideas of places to go and of upgrades to my motorhome Land yacht.
Don't be too hard on yourself, there are plenty of people who do that for you. Never be upset about asking for help, we all need help from time to time and you'll find most people are happy to help 😊
Meditating is really good. I was doing it when I was really struggling with bad depression at my doctor's suggestion. It had a profound effect on me. Unfortunately I broke it off and some point and have struggled to start again. I think it is the right thing for the issues of dwelling on things you talk about, it helps a lot with that. If you're still struggling after working on it, talk to a psychiatrist. Getting help is the best thing I ever did.
I am new to your channel and have fallen in love with your content. I am not a sailor myself, but LOVE watching people take something that seems not worth it to others, and make it something incredible! I cannot wait to see what you are going to do to beautiful UMA.
Thanks so much for showing that life is not all rainbows and sunshine! All of us have things that we feel like we have failed or not lived up to what we want. It is so important that we are caring to ourselves as well. We all have to go through the hard stuff to get to the amazing stuff!
Kika, thank you for reminding me that I have the headspace app on my phone already but I have neglected to use it in quite a long time so I will start again today because of you. Also it's been a good half hour to focus on your new post. I would be concerned for any other couple demoing their home but you two have shown us that what you create for UMA will be magnificent. Perfectionism is both a gift and a curse but when you can make things to your standards it is a true gift. And pleased that a passerelle that will suit your purposes does not have to be the very best passerelle that you have ever seen 😂 Congratulations! It continues to be exciting to watch you two move along on UMA's pre-rebuild. It was funny to see the other van park so close to you as if it would be lonely if it chose another spot🤣 People can be strange. Wishing you productive and happy days. Love, Ellen in CT,USA
I've been a Quaker for about 14 years, now, and our "silent worship" is a form of meditation. Sitting silently and listening for an hour a week is HARD, but that's why they call it a discipline... 😅 I can tell when I haven't taken the time to pause, still my mind, and just ... exist for too long. Glad you (and Dan) are finding value in meditation!
People (in general) work/think in groups. I never realized how much this was true until I worked in a mall. A store would remain empty of customers until one or two walked in. THEN>>> there would suddenly be in influx of people! Same is true of parking lots. I would deliberately park in the far away spot to keep the door dings down, and inevitably people would park in the spot next to me even though there were no cars within a hundred feet of mine. It drives me nuts!
Sweetie, I have been living with ADHD for 63 years. It does make it hard to do somethings but easy to do others. It's where our creativity comes from and I would rather manage my ADHD than lose my creativity.
That's the way. Learn to be still. Watch thoughts come and go without engaging them. After a period of time and practice, you will notice that your sense of 'self' falls away in layers, until at last you realize the truth. The person that is 'you' does not exist. Be free of its limiting requirements. Just 'be'. Everything you need is there before you, within you. Take your time; it's worth the wait
Thank you for coming out with ADHD. I have 2 children with this and have a perspective on what you go through. I recognise the frustrations and the desire to certain things. Just remember the end result of what your working towards is worth it. You got this. You are amazing. And together you could take on the avengers and win. 💪
I was born right after the stone age. Power tools and their applications amaze me. I sailed the bayous of SW Louisiana as a child in boats we made from folding sheets of corrugated tin roofing. The bow formed around a vertical 2X4. Our bows were 1X10's. Tar stopped the nail holes. Paddles were board and sticks. Sails were bed sheets. We spent most time capsized and swimming for the muddy banks. Neighborhoods ganged up into waring groups to fight for control of best fishing and camping spots. My boat was painted green and had a left-hand drift built in by mistake. BUT! being left-handed, I only had to paddle on the left side! lol. Some of the older mean boys would hammer a big ramming spike protruding from the bow. I still love to sail at 74 as crew on "Aletheia" my friends 36' Junk Rigged Schooner. Life is short. Live it to its top.
from the first time i saw you present what i think was a ted talk to how you told the story of why you're saving uma, to now how you tell this story, yes an advert but perfectly joined to a well told issue. your maturity in video making and stort telling just gets better and better. hope youre watching kingingit for inspiration of funnyness in adverts. youre both awesome if youre own ways
We love you Kika ! Seeing you like this for the first time really touched my heart and made me realize how much I love you as a person, not for pity just ❤
We too also feel that way. We just did our crossing and have been moving so much it has drained us both - we both feel exactly like we are in a negative space rushing around to each spot because of deadlines that we needed to meet and now hurricane season is pushing us even further outside of our comfort. Cheers and hope all is well
We are buying a travel trailer, after we sell our camper van sprinter, so we always have a place to go if need be, when we need to get away from our boat we are buying. Lol. If that makes sense. Doing America's great loop! And yes, that other rv was 100% wrong. Also glad to see kika dealing with her mental health with meditation. We are 20+ year Buddhists, and meditation is a great practice.
Kika, Keep reading our comments and receiving the love and support of people who have been with you for years and who truly admire and respect you. Don't try to life up to anyone's expectations, even your own. We all go through stages of growth on our life paths. And sometimes "in between the stages" it seems like a funk. Have no fear. Have Faith. Enjoy the sunrises and sunsets and the daily work in between. You are blessed. (And we love your hair.)
Good news is that there has never been more help out there for mental health challenges - bad news is there has never been more choices to choose from. As you say pick one thing that feels right and then give it your best, and be prepared to take a break and come back to it. Good luck
Kika, I too have severe ADHD, and self deprecating thoughts that lead into hating myself. Your honesty is amazing. Thank you for showing those fragile and private moments. I struggle each moment of everyday. Thank you, keep going, keep trying, and sometimes to get things done you have to choose violence. You can try to be reasonable, but sometimes a reasonable woman has to do unreasonable things.
I just need to say Kika that we all have gifts. Some are good at things we are not, and that is ok. It took me years to realize this and not to get depressed over my “shortcomings “. You got this, and you are awesome! Bryan from Vancouver
A major remodel on the ye old good land lubbers land yacht that is 20 years old is pretty emotional as well. The transformation you see after all the mess, headaches, set backs, and triumphs to see the end product is really amazing. Good luck to you both and thanks for sharing. Cheers!
Kika… you already ‘doing it’… more and better than most of us will ever dare to. I want to start the cruising life and I am a good DIY’er. BUT never would I dream of striping the boat and designing my own interior. And not once… but twice.
100% caught up binge on 'normal' videos...which means that in the last two weeks I've watched Uma being constructed and destroyed (or is that, deconstructed) 3 or 4 times (depending on how one counts) and which at least somewhat explains why doing it again might make sense. Excellent story line and series.
?? How so?? If the title and thumbnail are part of the video it can't be click bait, especially if its a significant part of the video. Finding the right tittle for a video is hard. Walking the thin line between sensationalized and interesting. We don't claim to always get it right, but they're far from "clickbait".
Another great video. Congrats on finally taking the step to look after yourself first. I find listening, helpful. Listen to the wind, ripples in the water, birds chirping, flys flying, and nature existing. Next smell more. Hear the smells around you. What scents does the breaze bring? Salty air, a fragrant flower, a friend? Listen, the world is alive. Hear your breath and forget all else. Remember, you're part of it, an integral part. Something not going the way you want? Is it not the correct time? If you just take a breath for yourself, you will see what needs to be seen and your clock will be in time with the universe, and things will come apart or go together perfectly. Why didn't i get in a terrible accident on my way to work today? Was it going back to check on the coffee pot, once more before hitting the road? Who's to know. Doing your part and forgiving yourself for that which is out of your control, definitely is worth a lot. I've spent time cutting things into bite sized pieces if they don't come apart in full sizes. Patience. You are both amazing people. Keep up the fantastic times and honesty. You're the best.
the beauty of that aparently little bit of glu that prevented you from removing the piece... was expressed in your response which reminded me to go refresh my mind with one of my favorite chapters
2:12 Can I have some of energy. I totally understand your emotional feelings, you'll feel better when the new installation takes off. Love ya guys! Enjoy your stay in Sardegna 🤗🙏🏼🥰🙋🏼♀️🙋🏻♂️⛵⛵⛵
I used an aluminium feavy ladder bought second hand--and put plywood fastemed with U-Bo;ls at intervals so that it covered the stiles, then painted it with Polyurethane and added some coarse sand to the final coat of paint. It was light and strong enough to walk on carrying parcels, anything heavy we hauled across using a rope--but it could carry a heavy person plus about fifty pounds no trouble. I put wheels on the shore end, so it rolled back and forth with the tide and waves. I think it cost about one gunfred bucks including the wheels and securing chains to stop it moving laterally, which clipped into ring bolts in the plywood track. The other ends of the svains was secured to the loops in the deck stanchion bases. The best place I found for a watermaker was under the cockpit steps in its own locker.
Kika you can do it!!! Just take your time, rest some time and strart slow again. And take care of your self. Life is one and times go fast, so you have to enjoy no mater what.
Seeing the stripping out of the furniture, it's astounding the volume of the materials let alone all the inaccessible areas they enclosed. Looking forward to seeing, the new interior design and it being put back together. I wonder what volume of items to be stored will compare before and after. I hope Kika's mediation, etc. journey continues. Curiously, I find it much easier to watch your episodes now, then when I stopped a few years ago. Probably poses more questions for me about what I didn't like.
I really related to how you felt, Kika, and I'm really glad you addressed this to us in this video. It's truly a blessing that you and Dan have each other. It seems so (and I belive you do), but I sincerely hope you two fully grasp that concept and don't take that for granted. I think we all have these same feelings, regardless of sex, size, or age. When I was married, my wife and I complemented each other perfectly, just like you and Dan do. My Achilles heel has always been computers, smart phones and the speed at which those technologies grow. So, my wife would always, and happily, perform the technological duties, while I happily and proudly, took care of lots of other duties that were challenging or improbable for her (that I won't laundry list...it wasn't a contest). But, I always felt exactly the way you expressed to us, how you felt about the task you were tackling, and I was always disappointed in myself over my total inability to grasp computers and having to always ask for help. Now, believe it or not, ever since COVID, my livelihood depends on computers (yes, a very cruel twist of fate). I'm always having to still do things with computers and something is always either going wrong, or needing updates, or new operating systems need changing, printers stop working, or screens freezing, viruses, etc. ...the issues NEVER STOP. Anyhow, now I have to either spend a fortune paying for these services or batter friends for their help, which gets very old for even my best of friends and has actually strained relationships. And, now I feel even worse about myself and have developed anxiety and other maladies that some of us feel too insecure to open up about. My point is you and Dan are a committed, loving couple, sharing everything together...body, soul, direction and dreams. You two are ONE, and you have already proven over and over that there is NOTHING you two cannot accomplish together...AS ONE! So, hopefully you don't get too down on yourself. I'm sure Dan absolutely gets that he needs you in the exact same way. God Bless you guys...(Sorry, just realized I typed you out a whole book)
Kika, your truth is not ugly. Thanks for being real and not making your channel appear all rainbows and unicorns. Being real is always more appealing than being fake.
Thank you so very much for great content and also, letting us it. Dan, you remind me of my son and the man he has become. Kika, My daughter might relate. You compliment each other very well. You have both come so far in this journey one called life. The opportunity to go back and apply the many things you've learnedyou realize. and re. Not all, because we're always learning. Torx style fasteners on the rebuild? I realize angle always comes into play, yet torx can ultimatly put up with angles better over time. Eventually you'll want to sell, or auction, which will be great. It's not your last boat, you're young and will sai into a sunset of your own...l The documetation always been getting better, so inspirational. look forward to the compact and efficient design.and the new adventures. Great documentation of life. tip of the hat to you.
I went back to Step 334 to remember what the boat cabin and galley was like and it really was so functional. I can't wait to see how it comes out. I remember saying it was going to be like a Phoenix out of the ashes when you hadn't announced you were going to save Uma.. #TeamSavingUma
i've been watching you guys for a few years and this is my first time writing / i spent a few years building an ocean cruiser from me and my family / so during covid i have been watching you and a bunch of the blue water cruisers and though my boat never made it into the water i am personally glad after watching you and others that it didn't splash because all of you guys are constantly problems solving and trouble shooting and dealing with a lot of stress and the question i asked myself when i abandoned ship and you might want to ask yourselves is it worth the challenges of sacrificing your mental and physical health and potentially a long time of endless frustrations and sweat equity and money / when i was a contractor it was said its more expensive and time consuming to restore a home then to build a new one / i have been watching you guys tearing your boat and your heart out and there are lots of other options and lots of boats that have been in storms and been abandoned especially in Florida after the 2022 hurricane season that might be less costly, stressful and hard on your bodies and relationship / food for thought
Thanks for promoting meditation. I, too, started with Headspace daily seven years ago and now I crave it and love it. I’m a big fan and find it one of the most important things I do for myself daily.
If there is one thing I know that has been very helpful to me over the years it is that I own and can deal with many situations that arise they do not own me, it is only when I fail to deal with situations that they become problems. Things and stuff have no right to make me feel any negative thoughts but if I let them, that is down to me.
Kiki, thank you for sharing I do the same thing when I'm faced with Multiple things to do, meditation is new for me as well for 5 or 10 minutes I set and listen to my breathing, I'm building a habit instead of thinking about it everthing at once. I'm hard on myself and I'm bit... paffectionate. I want things done in a certain way. Life shows up with different issues and I have to appreciate that you understand and given my best all good vibes about this message meditation.❤❤❤thanks again
Girl…you are FIERCE….you may have struggled with removing that part but don’t let it get you down. You can do anything when you put your mind to it! Best of luck with the project!!
Mind, body and spirit ❤ taking care of yourselves is very important. As someone who deals with a lot of anxiety I understand how self care can seem daunting at times, but one moment, or minute or hour of it can really make a difference. Keep up the good work guys! Thank you for sharing this You always inspire me to keep going 🙏🏽 🥂 love & cheers!
Thank you Kika for sharing, you both inspire me. I also struggle with mental health and starting watching you and a couple more sailors couples. I'm a maintenance engineer for hotels. So when I watch you guys it bring me to a happy point. Seeing beautiful locations and engineering too. I continue to send you good vibes, because you provide me with some.
Did the whole single-hand, live-aboard for years. I have seen both of you help each other quite a few times. We are aocial animals. Dont let your frustration have you believe you are not good enough. Both of you have achieved so much up ro now as individuals. As well as a Unit. Thanks for teaching me so much.
My strategy with stubborn bits is to get a bigger hammer, a bigger pry bar, or cut it into more pieces. If none of those work I go do something else and come back at it the next day. Many construction projects however just go better with more eyes and hands on the problem. The fact that you are doing this for the second time says a lot. Most boat/car/house owners get started and never finish the first time.
I'm proud of you Kika. Your internal critic is a feisty type I see. Mine was too until six months ago. My advice...go and find out who that internal critic is. Very often someone else from your childhood, upbringing or a mix of people who were very critical of you. As soon as you work out who they are and you discover step by step that much of what they say is actually wrong, or was and is not at all nice and respectful or is unrealistically high standards, you will be able to fend off the attacks of this internal critic better and faster and he/she will be chased into the background grumbling more often and faster. Sometimes still a hit and run attack, but you get better and better at recognising them and parrying them faster and faster. A final offensive frontal also works wonders. In my experience, this creates space to make peace with who you really are and who you are not and what you really can do and what you cannot. And that will feel liberating. And you know the only real truth in this..nobody is perfect!!! Meditation can help as symptom relief, but the cause you will have to look deeper so and there at the root with research, discover who and what, turn off reason and logic. You too can do that..absolutely sure!!! Greetings and courageous forward Kika and Dan, skipper Ron.
The Demo Dan and Kaptivating kika team are proof that an optimistic attitude can propel an adventure to tremendous achievement. I'm confident Uma will rise from the destruction zone to the open sea high and dry and proud. (with a few unexpected bugs to be worked out later)
Congratulations on entering the field of meditation. I would suggest using your Apps as a starting point so you do not become dependent upon them. Mediation can serve wonderfully whilst in the sitting position but also has amazing capacity while walking and lying down as well. The Buddha, who was considered to be a pretty good meditator 😂, taught the awareness of the impermanence in all actions of body and mind. All thoughts and feelings are not "I", not "me", not "mine", but rather passing phenomena to be observed objectively, not taken personally. When you start a project, or anything, become aware of your self-critical nature if it has arisen, then stop...forget filming - become fully present for yourself..."I am here for you" is something that I say to myself when this mental state arises. Like becoming deeply present and caring for a small child I care for these arisen feelings, fully present and unafraid. Many blessings. 🙏🏽
Headspace was a good starting point for me, to start to see what a human being is*** try and maintain it for 1 month that when you finish the month try another month and work your way up to a year.
Hi Kika, great You talk about mental things like ADHD and somehow depression. I got diagnosed with 52 and run on Ritalin since then which helps me to fuck up less and get out of the downward spiral of negative thoughts/feelings and being ashamed of my failures. This gives me a chance to create new, more positive memories. Wish You all the best to keep it under control :-)
I love that you are remodeling Uma! I started watching when you first bought her and have my brother and friends addicted! It is ok to get frustrated your doing alot, just take care of your self. I can medicate my ADD but I guess traveling would be hard to do so. I would be lost without it, like a light switch for my brain! I do have a question, do they teach you how to do all of this in Architecture School? Wiring, plumbing, etc?? Stay safe and enjoy your time!
Not really. They teach you where to place lights and switches in commercial buildings to pass code, but thats about it. The rest we learned by doing, with a willingness to do it again if we got it wrong.
It's great to see you getting on with it. My roommate in college in the seventies did TM and it kept him energized through long school hours and work hours to pay for it.
I feel your Kika! My wife can almost always figure out how something will need to be accomplished. Plans it and executes. Kind of makes you feel inadequate; however, she always reminds me that we’re a team. Each of us brings something to the relationship…and as crew. ❤
Try using a length of a short Al ladder and lashing a board to it to act as your passerel ....its rot proof and light. And you can still use the ladder in other ways like drying out or on the hard.
7:14, dont be so hard on yourself Kika, I went through the British Army basic training back in 1990, there were times when I wanted to just give up and all of this would be over, all the PT and dragging myself through mud and assault courses, the miles I ran and the heavy loads I carried..., fact is that was the best year of my life because I was never the same after that, from that moment to this I knew that no matter what life threw at me I just put my head down and pushed on.., there will come as time soon when UMA will be repaired again and you and Dan are back out on the ocean again.., and the both of you will glance over to the other and no words will be exchanged.., simply the acknowledgement that you made it!.., warrior spirit 🙂
Thank you for being so vulnerable, it helps all of us feel seen in our own struggles 💕 I'm also an ADHDer, and for every weakness, there's a strength, and for every strength, there's a weakness. The trick is to build a life that supports our brains - and that is so much easier said than done!
“I can’t do it without Dan.” For sure Dan can’t do it without Kika, the light of his life.❤
I know exactly how you feel Kika, that you always need somebody to help. GO WOMAN.🎉
My wife is the opposite. She can do anything and almost never needs me. Maybe 0.1% of the time she just needs my stronger muscles for something she’s working on or maybe needs someone, anyone, to hold someone while she works on it, any monkey will do and I’m just the monkey who happens to be nearby. 😂
And Dan can't get into tight spaces. Kika, don't focus on your problems, focus on your advantages. 🙂
Kika, almost everyone has gone through the same thing as you did trying to remove a stubborn part. The trick is to get mad at the part instead of getting mad at yourself!
Fortunately when building/unbuilding violence is usually not a bad option.
@@jacklougheed4561 lol
Ive often said something similar. 'Stop asking it, tell it!'
Lol, I'm going to remember that good advice!
comeone this is fake, just to make AD of meditation app, sitnks from a mile, they should have marked it as sponsored part
K, words have extraordinary power. I know because I'm a retired stage hypnotist. When hypnotizing someone, we hypnotists often say "Try and unlock your hands and find you cannot. Try! Try hard. The harder you try, the more locked they become." Using the word, try, implies, and suggests failure. And invariably the person fails to unlock their hands, to unstuck them.
Anyway.
Here is a simple, yet enormously powerful word-usage change you can do easily that will profoundly improve your state of mind, expectations, and the outcome action you're doing or undertaking.
STOP SAYING "TRY".
Why? Because "try" implies failure. Instead of saying "try" say "I CAN, AND I WILL"... before every predicate / action verb.
For example, in this video before you began demoing, you said "I'm going to try not to...". Rather, the next time you're about to say try, pause, and say "I can, and I will" ... followed by the action you are about to take. In that instance, had you said "I can and I will demo this successfully (or whatever is your expected outcome), you will not fail AND not give your mind a bothersome, troubling disappointment and frustration.
Remember what Yoda said wisely to young Luke - "Do or do not. There is no try."
Make it your mantra.
Remember it along with "I can, and I will...."
14:20, the count from Sesame Street, "I love to count, ha haha ha ha… " lightning flashes/thunder
Tip from a former BC sailboater. I too was frustrated by the folks who anchored around me. My solution was to find the least desirable area to anchor and sure enough ❤other boaters would anchor close by my boat. At around 8 at night, I would pull anchor and move to the more desirable location close by my current anchorage I found no one would follow me.
Genius!! 😂😂😂
That's evil, but deserved xdd
At first, I was with everyone else feeling bad about the frustration in not being able to do something without the help of someone else. As this played out, I can't hep but feel that this was a bit overplayed for the benefit of the sponsorship. Mental health is a very delicate subject, and many people suffer varying degrees of mental health issues. This ad spot left a bad taste in my mouth. I've been watching this channel for a long time, and normally I try to stay positive and give people the benefit of the doubt, but this one feels in really bad taste to me.
5:50 - I'm an IT guy.. I fix and replace components in computers. Ever dug around in a laptop you've never opened before? (I also have ADHD) When pulling apart something, always sit and look. Examine. Look behind, above, below in front, inside etc. Slow down. I have taken this approach to everything unknown now. Especially mechanical things like what you where just doing. I know how you feel. I have a habit of getting anxious and walking away for 5 minutes to.. well.. just walking away.. The above method has been helpful in getting me back to the problem. All the best!
I moved into an RV, full time, as my retirement home, and adventure wagon. I started watching Uma and many other sailing channels years ago. As romantic a notion as sailing the world is, the reality for a 6'4" over 60 person with limited income was not going to work.... of course the Wynns led me into RV life, but backwards. I watch 12 different sailing/boat channels. YES, living in, not just vacationing, is very much like sailing, if you do it the way like to... which is to head out into the toolies for weeks at a time, so...... provisioning is a thing, and water usage is a thing, and black and grey tanks are a thing. And yes... if there is one RV, it might be a good place!
I am a whistler, and a mimic... so naturally I can whistle the UMA theme
I'm an RV'er and that is definetly bad RV etiquette, no one should ever park that close to you unless they are part of your group. Thanks for the videos and can't wait to see the finished job.
Their plan is to get you to move because they want the spot that you're in.
People, huh.
Sometimes people just suck in their absence of awareness of how their actions affect others….and then there’s the ones that just don’t care as long as they’re ok.
Stay beautiful inside and tread lightly peeps, it keeps you young, happy and free.
😎👍🍻
I totally agree about the parking etiquette. That's a no brainer, but then today, common sense is lost to the wind, it seems. People!
Thanks again for another entertaining episode and stay safe always from the Philippines 💞.
That's Europe for you: we were camping there about 50 (!) years ago (1958-62...military family) and at that time people were putting their tent stakes in literally between ours at some sites. At one campsite we arrived to set up and our neighbours pulled their camp chairs out and sat down to watch us make camp. My brother and I decided "tit for tat", got out OUR camp chairs and sat there squarely facing and staring at them. Didn't take long for them to get up and go inside (we were 9 and 11 years old). Sometimes a message can be subtle, sometimes you need a sledge hammer.
I would have said something in the nicest way possible. That's just rude.
I just started watch your channel from the beginning and seeing the growth as a content creator, sailor, and person is such a privilege. Thank you for all the content.
It is always interesting to see how people see themselves vs. the way the rest of us see them. I think it’s pretty safe to say that no one sees you as incapable, Kika. The strongest and healthiest of people can share their real feelings of vulnerability. ❤❤I think the two of you are a sailing ‘power couple’ in that you always have each other’s backs. Teamwork makes the dream work! (Sorry, kinda corny, but hey, in the moment.)🤗👏🏻👍👍💯❤️❤️
Life on a boat is teamwork and the two you work so well together … this should always be you approach
Thank you, Kika, for sharing and being so vulnerable on camera. It is honestly so helpful to me as someone who, like you, sometimes has a strong inner critic. You normally make everything you do seem so effortless, it is really inspiring to watch you work through some of the same challenges. I hope knowing you aren't the only one helps you also feel a little bit less lonely. I continue to strive to give myself grace and empathy, and I hope you do, too ❤
Lovely comment.
It would have been more heartfelt if they didn’t use it as a segue into an ad though.
@@simulacrae It segued into an example for remedy of frustrating inner criticism.
I'm also adhd, and was scared of trying meditation for a long time. The idea that helped me was to not think of it as sitting still or keeping my mind blank, but rather that the goal is to focus. It is literally you practicing focusing. You can meditate while running or doing other things too, or even meditate on watching your thoughts change.
For me, focusing on sensing my entire body was the most interesting, because it became a sort of challenge to sense as much of it at once as possible. You mind actually starts doing weird cool stuff when you go a bit deeper into it, which can be fun to experience and honestly feels pretty good.
Hmm, interesting concept that uses our abilities, I'll give it a try.
When you build to be nice you hide the screws and other fasteners. Then when it comes time to demo you find that all that good work in the original build makes it hell to get back apart. Hang in there girl, you will figure it all out. Then all will be good again. And I cannot think that sitting on that beautiful beach watching the ocean for a while will do anything except help.. Take care and have a great day.🙂🙂
Big up for coming out with your ADHD troubles, Kika. I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism about a year ago. I'm now on medication for ADHD (Elvanse 50 mg) and rebuilding my life at 60. The hard part is to forgive yourself for not having accomplished what you had promised yourself to do, but the feeling of finally being the real you is so worth it. You know about masking, right? I don't think neurotypical people would notice, but you've been masking all along and in this episode, the real you started shining through and it is just so beautiful to see. Literally. The difference is striking. Please keep going - you're clearly doing it right!
“ADHD is a prime example of a fictitious disease.” After turning 87 years old, American psychiatrist Dr. Leon Eisenberg (the man who invented it) made this statement to the German weekly Der Spiegel and seven months later, he died. Apparently, he had decided to come clean and confess before moving to the beyond. Just because you get bored in a world that rewards worker bees and corporate cubicle cutouts doesn't mean there's something wrong with YOU.
Well said!
IMO you should keep off meds as long term it just causes other problems like wrecked kidneys. Here's a starting point for you, Dr Berg on u tube is a starting point and type in ADHD
Happy to say that I am back in sync with the channel. The cold weather stuff was not something I could relate to. Building stuff, warm weather and warm water feeds my vicarious needs. Thanks for ripping your boat to shreds again!
Me too, wasn't feeling the cold tundra.
I can relate better to the channel again because it is again about the boat. I was getting a bit detached when the channel was more about climbing and stuff which is not something I am interested in. Norway on the other hand was very fascinating for me. Good we are all back now.
To be fair, you almost had that out by yourself, if Dan was 5 minutes later, you would of had it done. You guys are so strong together, you both have accomplished so much. You guys were one of the channels that I contribute to me buying a boat, and gradually making her passage ready. As always, wishing you both the best, and hope to see you out on the water one day.
27:08 @svsantiago is spot on… It’s like trying to open a jar and after struggling with it for a while, you hand it over to someone else who just opens it easily. They feel macho, but you really know (if you can be humble) that you contributed the lion’s share.
I love you both! You’re a ray of sunshine between squalls.
She *would've had* it done sooner or later!
It just *would have* taken a little more learning "on the job" until one starts developing the intuition for dealing with the idiosyncracies of some new (or less often used) skillset.
Oh Kika, I understand your frustration! I live in a similar headspace. You should know, though, that watching you at the beginning of your demolition projects today (and every time I watch), you give me confidence to attempt my own projects. You would have gotten it done on your own without Dan, it just would have just taken a bit more time. It was almost there! You also make many of his projects go much faster. You are a wonderful team! ❤️
You got this. Give yourself 24 hours to grieve, complain and feel miserable. Then, get back up off the couch and back in Uma. You both are so inspirational.
The good news is, West System epoxy gets darker in storage with age but does not lose its integrity.
22:07 love Dan's T😂💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼Our way of moving along⛵⛵⛵⛵
I'm Going to call you "Demolition team Danka"🤣🤣🤣🤣
Kika, As “the original ADD kid” I went through all the treatments including TM and mindful meditation. They are Amazing tools to use.
On the flip side, I was once working a temp job doing demolition on a retail shop. I was working ever so diligently to take out big pieces so that it would be easier to carry off. The foreman came over and snatch the tools out of my hands and ripped the piece off the wall in five seconds and a million pieces.
Handing back the tools he said “Son, the only thing in this world you need to gentle with is people”.
Yes, meditation and positive thinking is amazing, but sometimes when you’re stuck trying to take that shelf down, you need to just choose violence. Get the Big Tool, get the saws, get the prybar.
Maybe this will resonate with you. You guys are great. Excited to see the new boat!
Kika, you are more capable than you know or believe. Something I notice is you are knowledgeable about hand tools and you use them correctly. That says alot!
Way to go Kika! Deep breathing and perspective. Dan often uses brut strength to shift stuff. You are strong but it feels better to shift gently, so issues on removal are the hidden screws. Take your time. (from and old guy still dreaming of voyages).
Kika, you are a powerful young woman capable of doing anything. You constantly amaze this old man with your ability and knowledge on how to achieve a solution to a problem. Keep your chin up, and together with your soulmate Dan, you can both achieve your goals. Keep going.
It's the same thing in parking lots. I've parked far away with no one around to avoid getting my car dinged and scratched. Almost always, someone will come along and park next to my car. A few have rhe decency to park one spot away, most will just park right next to my car. It doesnt make any sense.
Kika, we thank you from the bottom of our HEART's for sharing. Our son suffers from ADHD, recently divorced, can't keep a job, which has increased his anxiety to a crippling state.
I can relate.
Its bad boundaries to share this commentary on your son with the entire world without protecting his privacy!
Just found this channel yesterday, and was up till 3 AM watching. I'm currently gutting the interior of my 36' sailboat ('84 Morgan 366 Nelson-Marek) and doing a total renovation, and I was searching for layout ideas that are more functional and inviting than the standard industry layout. Although, thankfully, my boat is built more solidly (at least the bulkheads were tabbed-in properly, and the hull lay-up is 3/4"+ thick), like you I found some build issues that leave me feeling disgust for the builders. Seems these boats are built for profit rather than for long-term, reliable & solid service.
What strikes me most after watching for many hours last night is that I just love your attitude. 'Just doing it' is the best way to learn, and most people are stopped cold at a young age by fear & insecurity. It takes courage to just dive in, knowing that somehow you'll figure it out. That's an incredibly powerful way of being that you're sharing.
Of course it's also important to understand our personal limitations, and begin at a level where we can succeed, and then build from there. Seems to me that all of the knowledge you two have built up over the past 9 years was necessary in order to successfully tackle a total gutting and renovation of the boat interior. Wise choice to wait until you had the skills & understanding required to be successful.
I'm curious about Dan's background, as it's obvious that he was gifted with a rare level of natural mechanical instincts. I recognize a brother machine-whisperer 🙂 The only thing lacking at the beginning was experience.
I'm with you regarding the bulkheads/hull-integrity issue. The paltry-to-non-existent tabbing on your boat's bulkheads renders them only part of the interior cabinetry. They're doing little to nothing for hull integrity, and thus cutting them out does no harm. Leaving in only the bulkheads that are solidly attached until after the hull is reinforced with new bulkheads and ribbing is exactly what I'm doing, and makes sense mechanically.
I think the idea that the builder was somehow building a more durable hull by not properly tabbing in the bulkheads is pure nonsense. They built them that way because it was fast, cheap, and good for short-term profits, and they figure nobody will ever see what crap workmanship they paid good money for.
It's true that creating a 'hard point' on a weak & flexing hull would concentrate stress, with the obvious example being your mini chainplate bulkheads buckling the hull because they're concentrating the stress in a weak, flexible area (which is a horrendously poor design & build decision by the builder). But that doesn't mean the answer is to leave the hull weak & flexible, and I can see that Dan understands this. By fabricating & properly glassing in new bulkheads and ribs, the whole hull becomes far more rigid and the stresses are spread out over a far larger area, and most importantly, the ultimate strength of the hull goes up dramatically.
I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with for the new interior design/layout.
And Kika, don't let that self-criticism get you down. First of all, you come across as highly competent, and you've got skills that few people on the planet have. And second, most people on the planet will come up short if they're comparing themselves to Dan regarding mechanical skills & instincts. So don't compare yourself to Dan. You two are partners, each bringing different parts to make a whole, and it's beautiful. How fortunate you are to have each other, and so relish the chances to ask Dan for help figuring something out, and realize that for anyone, being able to tackle any mechanical project competently by oneself takes a lot of experience, which you're building and will be building for life. Laugh at that doubting voice in your head when it comes up, and tell it you're not buying into that 'I'm not good enough' nonsense anymore.
Best wishes to both of you, and I'll be watching more of your videos.
The "shoulds" and the "have tos" are killers to the soul. I need to stop and address my mental health well before I'm overwhelmed as well. All the best as you move forward with Uma and yourselves.
Keep going Kiki. It’s ok to need help just like it’s ok to give help.
Kika*
Years ago when we were fulltime rvers we were camped in Death Valley. Almost 1000 sites no one there but us. As it was late Spring and daytime temps were well over 100f. We came back from exploring one day and there was another rv parked right next to us. We moved!
0:35 They seen yall filming the 007 clip and said yes please that's the view I want lol
The other Camper was a little too close, but there are reasons many prefer company. One is an expectation of friendliness among fellow campers. The other is security. A lot of people hate campers. They harass them, may even damage the camper. I experienced this as a kid when a group of drunk men shook the camper van we were sleeping in.
As to frustration: I love how both Kika and Dan overcome all the challenges and setbacks of the sailing life. Do lots themselves. Help each other constantly. It's one of the features which sets this channel apart from the others.
And they help improve each other, so that the less techie of the two can still fix more problems with the boat than the more techie person among many other sailing couples, many of whom let all the repair and even some maintenance work be done by repair shops.
Besides having a propensity for herding people gain a sense of security by being close to others. Especially in isolated areas. You can try putting out a long leash , water bowl and sign warning the dog is not friendly.
It's a little heartbreaking to watch the demo knowing all the love and effort you put into Uma. I'm praying the new and improved Uma lives up to your expectations. Looking forward to her rebirth from the fiberglass dust and frustrations. Good luck!
at 9:39 when you say you cannot sit still to meditate, i have to tell you when i work on a project from working on things to gardening i go on my amazon music and punch in meditation and listen to that while i do my gardening. its just very relaxing and kind of clears my mind and all i think about in that moment is digging in the garden but also keep in mind i have a Joint (I'm in a legal state) with me as well and zone out and do what project i have at hand.
Kika, keep being 'you', you're awesome at it 😊
Nobody can do 'everything', and you have the great asset of being part of a team. There are many things you can do better than Dan, and somethings he's better at than you.
But look at what the team can do: it's awesome.
Kika, I’ve seen you soar on silks! You spent 9 years in a sailboat! Went up the mast! You don’t own a couch! You shared your feelings and vulnerabilities! You are so brave!
Motorhome Camper here. The place where you are parked is in the Parking App's we use. The places near the airport are know for Theft. Some of your Systems build can be used in a Motorhome like plumbing and electrical. Keep up the good videos of places to visit and the rebuild as this gives ideas of places to go and of upgrades to my motorhome Land yacht.
Don't be too hard on yourself, there are plenty of people who do that for you. Never be upset about asking for help, we all need help from time to time and you'll find most people are happy to help 😊
Meditating is really good. I was doing it when I was really struggling with bad depression at my doctor's suggestion. It had a profound effect on me. Unfortunately I broke it off and some point and have struggled to start again. I think it is the right thing for the issues of dwelling on things you talk about, it helps a lot with that. If you're still struggling after working on it, talk to a psychiatrist. Getting help is the best thing I ever did.
I am new to your channel and have fallen in love with your content. I am not a sailor myself, but LOVE watching people take something that seems not worth it to others, and make it something incredible! I cannot wait to see what you are going to do to beautiful UMA.
Thanks so much for showing that life is not all rainbows and sunshine! All of us have things that we feel like we have failed or not lived up to what we want. It is so important that we are caring to ourselves as well. We all have to go through the hard stuff to get to the amazing stuff!
Kika, thank you for reminding me that I have the headspace app on my phone already but I have neglected to use it in quite a long time so I will start again today because of you. Also it's been a good half hour to focus on your new post. I would be concerned for any other couple demoing their home but you two have shown us that what you create for UMA will be magnificent. Perfectionism is both a gift and a curse but when you can make things to your standards it is a true gift. And pleased that a passerelle that will suit your purposes does not have to be the very best passerelle that you have ever seen 😂 Congratulations! It continues to be exciting to watch you two move along on UMA's pre-rebuild. It was funny to see the other van park so close to you as if it would be lonely if it chose another spot🤣 People can be strange.
Wishing you productive and happy days. Love, Ellen in CT,USA
I've been a Quaker for about 14 years, now, and our "silent worship" is a form of meditation. Sitting silently and listening for an hour a week is HARD, but that's why they call it a discipline... 😅 I can tell when I haven't taken the time to pause, still my mind, and just ... exist for too long. Glad you (and Dan) are finding value in meditation!
People (in general) work/think in groups. I never realized how much this was true until I worked in a mall. A store would remain empty of customers until one or two walked in. THEN>>> there would suddenly be in influx of people! Same is true of parking lots. I would deliberately park in the far away spot to keep the door dings down, and inevitably people would park in the spot next to me even though there were no cars within a hundred feet of mine. It drives me nuts!
Sweetie, I have been living with ADHD for 63 years. It does make it hard to do somethings but easy to do others. It's where our creativity comes from and I would rather manage my ADHD than lose my creativity.
That's the way. Learn to be still. Watch thoughts come and go without engaging them. After a period of time and practice, you will notice that your sense of 'self' falls away in layers, until at last you realize the truth. The person that is 'you' does not exist. Be free of its limiting requirements. Just 'be'. Everything you need is there before you, within you. Take your time; it's worth the wait
Thank you for coming out with ADHD. I have 2 children with this and have a perspective on what you go through. I recognise the frustrations and the desire to certain things. Just remember the end result of what your working towards is worth it. You got this. You are amazing. And together you could take on the avengers and win. 💪
I was born right after the stone age. Power tools and their applications amaze me. I sailed the bayous of SW Louisiana as a child in boats we made from folding sheets of corrugated tin roofing. The bow formed around a vertical 2X4. Our bows were 1X10's. Tar stopped the nail holes. Paddles were board and sticks. Sails were bed sheets. We spent most time capsized and swimming for the muddy banks. Neighborhoods ganged up into waring groups to fight for control of best fishing and camping spots. My boat was painted green and had a left-hand drift built in by mistake. BUT! being left-handed, I only had to paddle on the left side! lol. Some of the older mean boys would hammer a big ramming spike protruding from the bow. I still love to sail at 74 as crew on "Aletheia" my friends 36' Junk Rigged Schooner. Life is short. Live it to its top.
What a great way to end. Everybody took a deep breath with you. 😁
from the first time i saw you present what i think was a ted talk to how you told the story of why you're saving uma, to now how you tell this story, yes an advert but perfectly joined to a well told issue. your maturity in video making and stort telling just gets better and better. hope youre watching kingingit for inspiration of funnyness in adverts. youre both awesome if youre own ways
We love you Kika ! Seeing you like this for the first time really touched my heart and made me realize how much I love you as a person, not for pity just ❤
it was an add commercial 😂
Its true not acted for the ad
We too also feel that way. We just did our crossing and have been moving so much it has drained us both - we both feel exactly like we are in a negative space rushing around to each spot because of deadlines that we needed to meet and now hurricane season is pushing us even further outside of our comfort. Cheers and hope all is well
We are buying a travel trailer, after we sell our camper van sprinter, so we always have a place to go if need be, when we need to get away from our boat we are buying. Lol. If that makes sense.
Doing America's great loop!
And yes, that other rv was 100% wrong.
Also glad to see kika dealing with her mental health with meditation. We are 20+ year Buddhists, and meditation is a great practice.
It’s nice to have someone to navigate life with. Something to cherish for sure!
Kika, Keep reading our comments and receiving the love and support of people who have been with you for years and who truly admire and respect you. Don't try to life up to anyone's expectations, even your own. We all go through stages of growth on our life paths. And sometimes "in between the stages" it seems like a funk. Have no fear. Have Faith. Enjoy the sunrises and sunsets and the daily work in between. You are blessed. (And we love your hair.)
Good news is that there has never been more help out there for mental health challenges - bad news is there has never been more choices to choose from. As you say pick one thing that feels right and then give it your best, and be prepared to take a break and come back to it. Good luck
Kika, I too have severe ADHD, and self deprecating thoughts that lead into hating myself. Your honesty is amazing. Thank you for showing those fragile and private moments. I struggle each moment of everyday. Thank you, keep going, keep trying, and sometimes to get things done you have to choose violence. You can try to be reasonable, but sometimes a reasonable woman has to do unreasonable things.
🥹
I just need to say Kika that we all have gifts. Some are good at things we are not, and that is ok. It took me years to realize this and not to get depressed over my “shortcomings “. You got this, and you are awesome!
Bryan from Vancouver
A major remodel on the ye old good land lubbers land yacht that is 20 years old is pretty emotional as well. The transformation you see after all the mess, headaches, set backs, and triumphs to see the end product is really amazing. Good luck to you both and thanks for sharing. Cheers!
Kika… you already ‘doing it’… more and better than most of us will ever dare to.
I want to start the cruising life and I am a good DIY’er.
BUT never would I dream of striping the boat and designing my own interior.
And not once… but twice.
100% caught up binge on 'normal' videos...which means that in the last two weeks I've watched Uma being constructed and destroyed (or is that, deconstructed) 3 or 4 times (depending on how one counts) and which at least somewhat explains why doing it again might make sense. Excellent story line and series.
?? How so?? If the title and thumbnail are part of the video it can't be click bait, especially if its a significant part of the video. Finding the right tittle for a video is hard. Walking the thin line between sensationalized and interesting. We don't claim to always get it right, but they're far from "clickbait".
Another great video. Congrats on finally taking the step to look after yourself first. I find listening, helpful. Listen to the wind, ripples in the water, birds chirping, flys flying, and nature existing. Next smell more. Hear the smells around you. What scents does the breaze bring? Salty air, a fragrant flower, a friend? Listen, the world is alive. Hear your breath and forget all else. Remember, you're part of it, an integral part. Something not going the way you want? Is it not the correct time? If you just take a breath for yourself, you will see what needs to be seen and your clock will be in time with the universe, and things will come apart or go together perfectly. Why didn't i get in a terrible accident on my way to work today? Was it going back to check on the coffee pot, once more before hitting the road? Who's to know. Doing your part and forgiving yourself for that which is out of your control, definitely is worth a lot. I've spent time cutting things into bite sized pieces if they don't come apart in full sizes. Patience.
You are both amazing people. Keep up the fantastic times and honesty. You're the best.
the beauty of that aparently little bit of glu that prevented you from removing the piece... was expressed in your response which reminded me to go refresh my mind with one of my favorite chapters
2:12 Can I have some of energy. I totally understand your emotional feelings, you'll feel better when the new installation takes off.
Love ya guys! Enjoy your stay in Sardegna 🤗🙏🏼🥰🙋🏼♀️🙋🏻♂️⛵⛵⛵
I used an aluminium feavy ladder bought second hand--and put plywood fastemed with U-Bo;ls at intervals so that it covered the stiles, then painted it with Polyurethane and added some coarse sand to the final coat of paint. It was light and strong enough to walk on carrying parcels, anything heavy we hauled across using a rope--but it could carry a heavy person plus about fifty pounds no trouble. I put wheels on the shore end, so it rolled back and forth with the tide and waves. I think it cost about one gunfred bucks including the wheels and securing chains to stop it moving laterally, which clipped into ring bolts in the plywood track. The other ends of the svains was secured to the loops in the deck stanchion bases.
The best place I found for a watermaker was under the cockpit steps in its own locker.
Kika you can do it!!! Just take your time, rest some time and strart slow again. And take care of your self. Life is one and times go fast, so you have to enjoy no mater what.
Seeing the stripping out of the furniture, it's astounding the volume of the materials let alone all the inaccessible areas they enclosed. Looking forward to seeing, the new interior design and it being put back together. I wonder what volume of items to be stored will compare before and after. I hope Kika's mediation, etc. journey continues. Curiously, I find it much easier to watch your episodes now, then when I stopped a few years ago. Probably poses more questions for me about what I didn't like.
I really related to how you felt, Kika, and I'm really glad you addressed this to us in this video. It's truly a blessing that you and Dan have each other. It seems so (and I belive you do), but I sincerely hope you two fully grasp that concept and don't take that for granted. I think we all have these same feelings, regardless of sex, size, or age. When I was married, my wife and I complemented each other perfectly, just like you and Dan do. My Achilles heel has always been computers, smart phones and the speed at which those technologies grow. So, my wife would always, and happily, perform the technological duties, while I happily and proudly, took care of lots of other duties that were challenging or improbable for her (that I won't laundry list...it wasn't a contest). But, I always felt exactly the way you expressed to us, how you felt about the task you were tackling, and I was always disappointed in myself over my total inability to grasp computers and having to always ask for help. Now, believe it or not, ever since COVID, my livelihood depends on computers (yes, a very cruel twist of fate). I'm always having to still do things with computers and something is always either going wrong, or needing updates, or new operating systems need changing, printers stop working, or screens freezing, viruses, etc. ...the issues NEVER STOP. Anyhow, now I have to either spend a fortune paying for these services or batter friends for their help, which gets very old for even my best of friends and has actually strained relationships. And, now I feel even worse about myself and have developed anxiety and other maladies that some of us feel too insecure to open up about. My point is you and Dan are a committed, loving couple, sharing everything together...body, soul, direction and dreams. You two are ONE, and you have already proven over and over that there is NOTHING you two cannot accomplish together...AS ONE! So, hopefully you don't get too down on yourself. I'm sure Dan absolutely gets that he needs you in the exact same way. God Bless you guys...(Sorry, just realized I typed you out a whole book)
Kika, your truth is not ugly. Thanks for being real and not making your channel appear all rainbows and unicorns. Being real is always more appealing than being fake.
Thank you so very much for great content and also, letting us it. Dan, you remind me of my son and the man he has become. Kika, My daughter might relate. You compliment each other very well. You have both come so far in this journey one called life. The opportunity to go back and apply the many things you've learnedyou realize. and re. Not all, because we're always learning. Torx style fasteners on the rebuild? I realize angle always comes into play, yet torx can ultimatly put up with angles better over time. Eventually you'll want to sell, or auction, which will be great. It's not your last boat, you're young and will sai into a sunset of your own...l The documetation always been getting better, so inspirational. look forward to the compact and efficient design.and the new adventures. Great documentation of life. tip of the hat to you.
Kika.. You are incredibly capable! You 2 are a great complement to each other .
I went back to Step 334 to remember what the boat cabin and galley was like and it really was so functional. I can't wait to see how it comes out. I remember saying it was going to be like a Phoenix out of the ashes when you hadn't announced you were going to save Uma.. #TeamSavingUma
i've been watching you guys for a few years and this is my first time writing / i spent a few years building an ocean cruiser from me and my family / so during covid i have been watching you and a bunch of the blue water cruisers and though my boat never made it into the water i am personally glad after watching you and others that it didn't splash because all of you guys are constantly problems solving and trouble shooting and dealing with a lot of stress and the question i asked myself when i abandoned ship and you might want to ask yourselves is it worth the challenges of sacrificing your mental and physical health and potentially a long time of endless frustrations and sweat equity and money / when i was a contractor it was said its more expensive and time consuming to restore a home then to build a new one / i have been watching you guys tearing your boat and your heart out and there are lots of other options and lots of boats that have been in storms and been abandoned especially in Florida after the 2022 hurricane season that might be less costly, stressful and hard on your bodies and relationship / food for thought
Thanks for promoting meditation. I, too, started with Headspace daily seven years ago and now I crave it and love it.
I’m a big fan and find it one of the most important things I do for myself daily.
If there is one thing I know that has been very helpful to me over the years it is that I own and can deal with many situations that arise they do not own me, it is only when I fail to deal with situations that they become problems. Things and stuff have no right to make me feel any negative thoughts but if I let them, that is down to me.
Kiki, thank you for sharing I do the same thing when I'm faced with Multiple things to do, meditation is new for me as well for 5 or 10 minutes I set and listen to my breathing, I'm building a habit instead of thinking about it everthing at once. I'm hard on myself and I'm bit... paffectionate. I want things done in a certain way. Life shows up with different issues and I have to appreciate that you understand and given my best all good vibes about this message meditation.❤❤❤thanks again
Girl…you are FIERCE….you may have struggled with removing that part but don’t let it get you down. You can do anything when you put your mind to it! Best of luck with the project!!
Kika, you are a SUPERSTAR!!🤩
My daughter and I both admire you so much. Thank you.
Mind, body and spirit ❤ taking care of yourselves is very important. As someone who deals with a lot of anxiety I understand how self care can seem daunting at times, but one moment, or minute or hour of it can really make a difference. Keep up the good work guys! Thank you for sharing this You always inspire me to keep going 🙏🏽 🥂 love & cheers!
Loved that ending.
This step touch a chord with me.
Damn it! Breathe
Thank you Kika for sharing, you both inspire me. I also struggle with mental health and starting watching you and a couple more sailors couples. I'm a maintenance engineer for hotels. So when I watch you guys it bring me to a happy point. Seeing beautiful locations and engineering too. I continue to send you good vibes, because you provide me with some.
Did the whole single-hand, live-aboard for years. I have seen both of you help each other quite a few times. We are aocial animals. Dont let your frustration have you believe you are not good enough. Both of you have achieved so much up ro now as individuals. As well as a Unit. Thanks for teaching me so much.
My strategy with stubborn bits is to get a bigger hammer, a bigger pry bar, or cut it into more pieces. If none of those work I go do something else and come back at it the next day. Many construction projects however just go better with more eyes and hands on the problem. The fact that you are doing this for the second time says a lot. Most boat/car/house owners get started and never finish the first time.
I'm blown away with your plans to rebuild the boat. What a major deal to undertake! We wish you the best .
I'm proud of you Kika. Your internal critic is a feisty type I see. Mine was too until six months ago. My advice...go and find out who that internal critic is. Very often someone else from your childhood, upbringing or a mix of people who were very critical of you. As soon as you work out who they are and you discover step by step that much of what they say is actually wrong, or was and is not at all nice and respectful or is unrealistically high standards, you will be able to fend off the attacks of this internal critic better and faster and he/she will be chased into the background grumbling more often and faster. Sometimes still a hit and run attack, but you get better and better at recognising them and parrying them faster and faster. A final offensive frontal also works wonders. In my experience, this creates space to make peace with who you really are and who you are not and what you really can do and what you cannot. And that will feel liberating. And you know the only real truth in this..nobody is perfect!!! Meditation can help as symptom relief, but the cause you will have to look deeper so and there at the root with research, discover who and what, turn off reason and logic. You too can do that..absolutely sure!!! Greetings and courageous forward Kika and Dan, skipper Ron.
You guys are the best team because you both bring what is needed including the love.
The Demo Dan and Kaptivating kika team are proof that an optimistic attitude can propel an adventure to tremendous achievement. I'm confident Uma will rise from the destruction zone to the open sea high and dry and proud. (with a few unexpected bugs to be worked out later)
Congratulations on entering the field of meditation. I would suggest using your Apps as a starting point so you do not become dependent upon them. Mediation can serve wonderfully whilst in the sitting position but also has amazing capacity while walking and lying down as well. The Buddha, who was considered to be a pretty good meditator 😂, taught the awareness of the impermanence in all actions of body and mind. All thoughts and feelings are not "I", not "me", not "mine", but rather passing phenomena to be observed objectively, not taken personally. When you start a project, or anything, become aware of your self-critical nature if it has arisen, then stop...forget filming - become fully present for yourself..."I am here for you" is something that I say to myself when this mental state arises. Like becoming deeply present and caring for a small child I care for these arisen feelings, fully present and unafraid.
Many blessings. 🙏🏽
sad to see Uma being "changed" She may have had her funcional problems but visually she was terrific. Can't wait to see the new Uma
Headspace was a good starting point for me, to start to see what a human being is*** try and maintain it for 1 month that when you finish the month try another month and work your way up to a year.
Hi Kika, great You talk about mental things like ADHD and somehow depression. I got diagnosed with 52 and run on Ritalin since then which helps me to fuck up less and get out of the downward spiral of negative thoughts/feelings and being ashamed of my failures. This gives me a chance to create new, more positive memories. Wish You all the best to keep it under control :-)
Your skills at telling a story, transitioning into the sponsor segment,and then back to the content was seamless, great job!
It was deceptive. Thinking it was just an honest confession, and it ends up being a commercial.
I love that you are remodeling Uma! I started watching when you first bought her and have my brother and friends addicted! It is ok to get frustrated your doing alot, just take care of your self. I can medicate my ADD but I guess traveling would be hard to do so. I would be lost without it, like a light switch for my brain! I do have a question, do they teach you how to do all of this in Architecture School? Wiring, plumbing, etc?? Stay safe and enjoy your time!
Not really. They teach you where to place lights and switches in commercial buildings to pass code, but thats about it. The rest we learned by doing, with a willingness to do it again if we got it wrong.
It's great to see you getting on with it. My roommate in college in the seventies did TM and it kept him energized through long school hours and work hours to pay for it.
I feel your Kika! My wife can almost always figure out how something will need to be accomplished. Plans it and executes. Kind of makes you feel inadequate; however, she always reminds me that we’re a team. Each of us brings something to the relationship…and as crew. ❤
i can relate so much you get sent in a downward spiral and its no good....
Try using a length of a short Al ladder and lashing a board to it to act as your passerel ....its rot proof and light. And you can still use the ladder in other ways like drying out or on the hard.
7:14, dont be so hard on yourself Kika, I went through the British Army basic training back in 1990, there were times when I wanted to just give up and all of this would be over, all the PT and dragging myself through mud and assault courses, the miles I ran and the heavy loads I carried..., fact is that was the best year of my life because I was never the same after that, from that moment to this I knew that no matter what life threw at me I just put my head down and pushed on.., there will come as time soon when UMA will be repaired again and you and Dan are back out on the ocean again.., and the both of you will glance over to the other and no words will be exchanged.., simply the acknowledgement that you made it!.., warrior spirit 🙂
Thank you for being so vulnerable, it helps all of us feel seen in our own struggles 💕
I'm also an ADHDer, and for every weakness, there's a strength, and for every strength, there's a weakness. The trick is to build a life that supports our brains - and that is so much easier said than done!