My husband actually spoke these words. He actually said “I don’t love you, I’m indifferent now” and since then, he has completely discarded me to the side. Despite me wanting to work on our marriage, he doesn’t want to, he’s happy with his side chick.
So this indifference is not the same as when you are emotionally cut off from someone after being shut down by them consistently over many years of trying to reach out and connect emotionally. Glad to know it is not considered abusive when you still care about the other person's well-being, but just can't muster up an interest in being vulnerable and close to someone who has repeatedly belittled and misjudged you, and then suddenly wants to try again after 2-3 years of giving you the silent treatment.
Jenny, I hear you. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this in your life. I too have been ignored the simple basics, touch (even hand holding) I was blamed because he tried to hold my hand and my carpal tunnel hurt as my wrist got a turned in a painful way... so no more even trying to hold my hand?? No hugs unless I'm crying and whining which is so degrading. No conversing with each other...I cannot live another 5, 10, 15 years like this. Almost 33 years of lying, porn viewing, all while acting so wonderful at church, home groups, family gatherings, etc. I'm angry at myself for covering it up to "protect him" . But NOT anymore. The Lord is my strength and my shield. I fell so far away from God because I really thought it was my duty as a Christian wife to do this! Not true. Enabling didn't change anything, except create self- hatred. Jenny, again, I hear you, but more importantly, GOD hears you. 🤗😥 Be blessed and stay strong in HIM. ☝🏼♥️
Great statement! I believe theirs two kinds of indifference definitions, narcissistic indifference and empathetic indifference. One is for self preservation and the other is selfish.
In my experience women are the ones that behave indifferently. Then they wonder why men don't want to be with them. I'm sick of dealing with ice queens.
Married going on 22 years. Currently 7 years with zero physical intimacy, she won't even kiss me. Once we adopted the kids 4-5 years into marriage, the intimacy became less and less, 3-5 times a week, 3-5 times a month, 3-5 times a year, to once a year to nothing. I have tried to express that it feels that once she got what she wanted, I was discarded - emotionally and physically cut off, ignored. "Quality time" consists of me sitting next to her while she endlessly browses the internet on her phone or plays word puzzles until she rolls over to go to sleep. She isn't nasty, just absent. Now Perimenopause has crept in hard the last 7-10 years on top of it - and we have a total disconnection and hormone driven physical and mental justification for not feeling anything except what she wants to do for herself in her quest to re-establish her identity. I do feel used, lied to and discarded.
Let's start with Karen's story. She was controlling and manipulative. The subject of physical intimacy was clearly an ongoing one. 0 doubt that he had shut down because he knew that they had never made love but only manipulation and he was done being manipulated. This is why he no longer cared for her feelings of desire. It had nothing to do with his "selfish" desires, merely his discarding of her use and manipulation of him in her selective distribution of intimacy and emasculated. I would call you naive or easily manipulated by another woman, except for your convenient telling of the Levite who's concubine was sorely missed by the Benjamites. You very conveniently left out the part that the reason why they were put into peril in the first place is because he ventured to recover this concubine out of her illicitous affair! Do not speak lies or half-truths in the name of God Ma'am. Do not take upon you the banner of God and take his name in vain.
Doesn't feel good to know you're not really cared for...
So hard, but necessary to hear. It addresses a lot of what I experienced in my marriage and validates that it was, in fact, emotional abuse.
When you are rejected time and time again, you become indifferent to the other person. So who is abused ?
Thank you, for being God's conduit to speak truth into my life! Lesson learned. God bless you always.
My husband actually spoke these words. He actually said “I don’t love you, I’m indifferent now” and since then, he has completely discarded me to the side. Despite me wanting to work on our marriage, he doesn’t want to, he’s happy with his side chick.
Yep that was my marriage. Ignored not protected.
Indifference is exactly what I'm experiencing.
So this indifference is not the same as when you are emotionally cut off from someone after being shut down by them consistently over many years of trying to reach out and connect emotionally. Glad to know it is not considered abusive when you still care about the other person's well-being, but just can't muster up an interest in being vulnerable and close to someone who has repeatedly belittled and misjudged you, and then suddenly wants to try again after 2-3 years of giving you the silent treatment.
Jenny, I hear you. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this in your life. I too have been ignored the simple basics, touch (even hand holding) I was blamed because he tried to hold my hand and my carpal tunnel hurt as my wrist got a turned in a painful way... so no more even trying to hold my hand?? No hugs unless I'm crying and whining which is so degrading. No conversing with each other...I cannot live another 5, 10, 15 years like this. Almost 33 years of lying, porn viewing, all while acting so wonderful at church, home groups, family gatherings, etc. I'm angry at myself for covering it up to "protect him" . But NOT anymore. The Lord is my strength and my shield. I fell so far away from God because I really thought it was my duty as a Christian wife to do this! Not true. Enabling didn't change anything, except create self- hatred. Jenny, again, I hear you, but more importantly, GOD hears you. 🤗😥 Be blessed and stay strong in HIM. ☝🏼♥️
Great statement! I believe theirs two kinds of indifference definitions, narcissistic indifference and empathetic indifference. One is for self preservation and the other is selfish.
Great video!
I think you are talking my story.
The indifference street goes both ways. It would be interesting too see a video from the other perspective.
Can you please do a video on what a wife is to do when her husband has abandoned her but will not divorce her.
I'm in this same situation
Same question....
Excellent Question Dear🌹
Very helpful thank you
Wow.
Oh my gosh!!!! Oh my gosh
In my experience women are the ones that behave indifferently. Then they wonder why men don't want to be with them. I'm sick of dealing with ice queens.
Married going on 22 years. Currently 7 years with zero physical intimacy, she won't even kiss me. Once we adopted the kids 4-5 years into marriage, the intimacy became less and less, 3-5 times a week, 3-5 times a month, 3-5 times a year, to once a year to nothing. I have tried to express that it feels that once she got what she wanted, I was discarded - emotionally and physically cut off, ignored. "Quality time" consists of me sitting next to her while she endlessly browses the internet on her phone or plays word puzzles until she rolls over to go to sleep. She isn't nasty, just absent. Now Perimenopause has crept in hard the last 7-10 years on top of it - and we have a total disconnection and hormone driven physical and mental justification for not feeling anything except what she wants to do for herself in her quest to re-establish her identity. I do feel used, lied to and discarded.
Hey Karen hair, can you show us all the flood plain? 😅
Let's start with Karen's story. She was controlling and manipulative. The subject of physical intimacy was clearly an ongoing one. 0 doubt that he had shut down because he knew that they had never made love but only manipulation and he was done being manipulated. This is why he no longer cared for her feelings of desire. It had nothing to do with his "selfish" desires, merely his discarding of her use and manipulation of him in her selective distribution of intimacy and emasculated. I would call you naive or easily manipulated by another woman, except for your convenient telling of the Levite who's concubine was sorely missed by the Benjamites. You very conveniently left out the part that the reason why they were put into peril in the first place is because he ventured to recover this concubine out of her illicitous affair! Do not speak lies or half-truths in the name of God Ma'am. Do not take upon you the banner of God and take his name in vain.
They all twist things to suiit their needs and ignore facts.