Balance and Boundaries: Diane Hart v Miles Livingston
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ต.ค. 2023
- Diane says her relationship with Miles is hanging by a thread because he continuously places the wellbeing of his students over her and their relationship.
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He’s trying to replicate his daughter being there by having those kids in the house and trying to be their father figure. He needs therapy
I saw that too!! I wish them Peace and Blessings 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Maybe so.
Social interaction is a form of therapy in and of itself, because it helps with the grieving process.
I have to say that it is noteworthy that he as a man does it. Because most of the time men just bottle their emotions up. It’s women who usually use social groups.
😊😊
Stop expecting people to grieve the way you think they should grieve. Thats a lifetime affect.
Exactly!!
Hi there it is a lifetime effect however the are steps to grief. The only you do not process it the it will welcome you more than your family and friends. You can not stay in the sad. Go through it but get to the point to where there memory is with a smile not sadness daily or rejection and separation
@@kiab-mylifemyway7647 Facts
People can also grieve or channel their grief in ways that are maladaptive and destructive to the relationships they still have on this Earth.
I think he's a good man but he's letting his grief cloud his judgment and compromise the respect that he's showing to his partner.
It's a tough place for her to be in and she doesn't deserve that.
Still find it weird to have kids at ur house
I am a man and this brothers story has me in tears...i have all the respect in the world for his motivation to help and mold his students!!
One of the most heart-felt episodes of DC I've seen in a very long time.
Sadly, as a society, we frown upon men openly showing emotions so they feel they cannot do this .. They've taken the first step to grow together by going on the show.
This episode was touching. She can't understand his grief. The kids are how he copes with it
He's not coping the right way. Didn't you her the expert? He's jeopardising his relationship with his partner.
It sounds like she understands his grief and has been supportive, but she is looking for more time for their relationship and better communication.
She has never been in his shoes, so she can't understand.
Rest In Peace Sweets, it sounds like you were an angel on this earth 😇
Dude has an extensive vocabulary very well spoken 💯
He’s a teacher.
@@gailsmith836 more than a few teachers are not well spoken
@@user-cl8zg7gu4jTrue, but more likely than not, educators are highly educated, and as a result, well-spoken.
I felt his grief. Seems like an awesome guy. My heart goes out❤
He could be grieving in so much worse ways.. God bless this man. He needs someone who will support him.
I LOVE THIS MAN FOR SHARING HIS GRIEF, BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WAS MURDERED 2016. THANK YOU DAD YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON. Dad I feel like you might be teaching two times one for you and now for your daughter because you feel the need to keep her legacy going, which can cause us as grieving parents to leave out the people that's physically around us. My daughter would be 27 in November 2, 2023 and I pick those times to always celebrate her so I won't be leaving out my other children and family. I am truly grateful for you sharing your daughters story.
May GOD bless you and your family.
My condolences 💐.
X😊
My condolences to you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
🤲🏽🤲🏽🤲🏽🤲🏽🤲🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
As soon as his daughter came up, I could see the pain in his face 🥺
My heart breaks for this man. I have cried 3 times listening to him. I have lost a child and I can promise you it’s the worst most bitter pain known to man. I’d rather have gone through anything else than that. I don’t think it’s fair to demand he heal someone else’s way. But I do think it’s important to not shut out the people who love us and we also can’t use our grief as an excuse to hurt them. ❤ it’s tough to be on this side of reality. I wish him healing and peace abounding.
I am sorry for your loss…Me too 😢… people don’t know how to deal with us
So so sorry to read about you losing your child. Sending hugs and prayers to you. Praying you have good people around you who can hold you and give you what you need. 💜🙏🏾💜
My condolences to you all
@@HerbalQueenthey really don’t. I’m giving you the biggest hug my sister in grief. 😢❤
So sorry for your loss. Praying for us ❤❤❤
They missed the opportunity to let this beautiful man knows that crying is not a sign of weakness 🎯 I hope he gets the help he deserves ❤
Yeah, JS definitely shoulda let him & the world know that sharing his emotions in such a way is strong. Especially because of the way he broke it down.
As a mother that has lost a child you can't tell anyone how they should grieve. When I lost my son I took all my social media pages down and stopped answering the phone. Many of my family didn't understand but I had to grieve on my own terms. Once I got to a place of healing I started to re-emerge. I had to take that time to heal for me and no one else.
There is nothing wrong with a man crying . I feel it shows character .
My heart goes out to him…I lost a son in 2019 and I haven’t been the same since. Grief is one hell of a rollercoaster ride. Hope everything works out for them. ❤
Sorry for your loss
This episode upset me because the loss of a child is the most unimaginable pain to deal with. He’s coping and figuring out this new way of life and because he’s not grieving on her terms she’s upset at him. He’s trying to adjust to a new daily reality and it’s not easy for him. Some men don’t like to be vulnerable in front of people. My granddaddy told me “never let people see you at your lowest because they’ll loss respect for you and use it against you”.
Yes especially wicked will do that
I agree with you 1000%
Men greave different from women. And women need to understand and respect our differences.
I think a lot of people learn this the hard way, unfortunately. Another lesson is don’t stay grieved or sick too long because people will get tired of you. They are in a challenging time. It would be best for her to move out rather than stay and help. He has to come to terms with all of this on his own time and she can’t help him with that. You’re ready when you’re ready.
I think she just wanted him to open up and let her into his grief. She wanted to support but he didn’t want to put that on her.
@@msdaisyduketvyes agreed 100%
I cried when he talked about his daughter. I love that he is teacher and so was his daughter.
I’ve cried more today than I have in a long time. I hope that counseling helps him and the couple.
this couple sounds like 2 amazing people. praying for the best for them. Grief is a terrible thing that can break relationships apart because we all process it differently. Praying for the best for them both.
Our black men need to know their hearts are safe with the women in their lives. She needs to be patient with his grieving process and join him in helping with these kids. He also needs to let her in. She wants to support him and cover his heart, to let him know he’s safe with her. He loves her to pieces, he really is just grieving. With a little bit of patience and a lot of support, they’ll make it. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Girl! This Man Os A GREAT MAN! JUST BE BY HIS SIDE AND BE PATIENT!!!! That’s Her Issue! She’s Not Patient With Him. Had Rolls Been Reversed, She’d Feel A Way Too! Smh
Yup💯‼️👏🏽
UPDATE PLEASE ! ! ! !
Here go Savannah’s momma in the comments 😅😅🤣
He is an eloquent brother
This is a good mannn Savanah!! Dont let his greif turn you away from a good man. Do the work, get some counseling.
I'm in tears, here i grew up fatherless, my dad told my mom to abort me but yet here is this amazing father and his baby is gone. I feel his pain, no parent should ever ever bury their child. There is so much pain in this world.
He's still grieving 😔😔...she needs to be patient with him...
He feels like his role as a father died with his daughter. He's trying to fill that void with other children, and his relationship is suffering because of it. It's unnatural to bury your children, and that's unfortunately something you can neither prepare for, nor get over. I tell people the death of a child will end a relationship faster, than infidelity. Because how do you rebound from losing your legacy, your creation, your pride and joy? Unlike infidelity, there's nothing to forgive, nothing to get over, nothing to work through, nothing you can do to make it better. You're just lost, in a fog, for however long it takes for the fog to clear, if it clears. Also, grief is not an excuse for bad behavior. He absolutely has to set boundaries with the kids and their mothers. They both seem to be good people, I pray they're about to heal together.
I can feel this man’s grief. I applaud his fiancé for being there for him during this difficult time. I pray that they both find the healing that they need. I am rooting for them.
I feel for this man, I really do. That had to be hard. I don't think this lady is a bad person, she opened the episode telling us she was frustrated, and I can understand why. He keeps breaking the boundaries they had put in place and won't communicate his grief. Granted, there is not a lot anyone else can do for healing such a deep wound, but opening up to someone will help. I hope they get the counseling the dearly need. They need to work on themselves individually and together for this marriage to work-- and I hope it will.
Thank yall for your kind words. I have sought out therapy. Those of you who unfortunately know this journey, may God continue to be with you.
I loved this episode. So many of us Men & Women have had to go thru a grieving process alone and that can be very hard.. We need a partner or other family members to be there for support and a professional to help w/ the process as well.
I lost a nephew in 2010, his mother , my sister in 2017 & my Mother in 2019, then laid off in 2020 from a job I worked for 26 yrs then the pandemic hit. That’s a whole lot to process. But I’m working thru it w/ GODs help…
Many people do not realize that grieving is a lifetime process. It is best to let your love ones be there for you.
Thank you star for having this black male clinician! that is truly helpful to see
This was absolutely a pleasure 🥰. I’m so glad to see this couple and I pray I find a man or he finds me who is strong, smart and loving 🥰 And I will support him as she does. What a good example for us 🧘🏾♀️
He's a good man, Savannah. A good man! 🥺
He's very passionate about those kids and his job by surrounding himself with the students is a form of therapy for him.
Wow I feel his pain with losing me niece 26 days ago. Excruciating grief..praying for relief.
Wow ,,such an emotional episode
He NEEDS to set STRICT BOUNDARIES with the children but ESPECIALLY with women. She needs to find activities for both of them, but maybe ne a bit more understanding with the grieving and try to assit in ither ways he may be more receptive to..
What he needs RIGHT NOW is intensive therapy and grief counseling from a specialist. He has to yell it out, cry it out, talk it out, and process it. He hasn’t. He has to get past the guilt. She needs to move out and stay moved out. Support him when he needs support and be quiet. It’s not time for him to replace his daughter with activities with other children. Nothing is compartmentalized and even though he appears to be together, he’s not. He’s just surviving the best he can comprehend.
My heart goes out to him. I lost my brother and only sibling during the pandemic to Covid. I teared up listening to him. He seems to have a heart of gold. Grief is hard and this situation is difficult. I can understand why the wife feels the way she does to an extent with the boundary issues, but I also know that mourning can cause us to act irrationally at times.
I love Judge Star...she says what is, like it is!!! I love her direct examination style too, "tag you're it..let's hear it" And she's beautiful!!! 💯💯💯
Rooting for them! Feeling they’ll be okay. Blessings to you both for a successful union filled with love and joy
My heart ❤ goes out to him. I too lost my precious daughter in 2021 to breast cancer, I still feel like a part of me is missing, but i take it day by day, so i can sympathize with him🙏💕
he is a wonderful wonderful man !!!
What about her at 40? That woman has legitimate concerns. Does this man hide something behind the grief part? And the single moms! You love her? At least Sir, put a ring on it.
Honestly this just seems like a case of good person, wrong time. Relationships change and in the case of his daughter passing tragically, it's totally fair for him to want to invest fully into be a father figure to other people right now. If that's the case, they should put their relationship down peacefully and hopefully, maybe, they can pick it back up one day. He could respectfully invest the rest of his life being a father figure if he wants to. There's no bad issue here. They just have to walk in the light of the truth.
I love this couple ❤
He is reaching out for admiration from the kids and other women to remind him he is still important. It may be a part of his grief process or may be a part of aging. The wife has every right to anticipate a space for her in his life no matter what has happened. I pray this couple gets the professional help that they need so that they can better understand each other, and he can heal the wounds of losing his child.
Losing a child is the worst pain. There is nothing like it. People will try to empathize...but if you haven't experienced it, you don't know what it is like and there aren't enough words to explain it. It is a loss that changes who you are permanently. People will be looking for you to be who you were in the name of "healing", and it is not possible. It is a loss that alters your life, and you learn and process the grief with each day. People will try and tell you how to grieve, they think that time will make it better, and it doesn't. You survive and you cope the best way that you know how. People in general do not have a lot of patience and when it comes to grief and grieving, we are conditioned to believe that it is a temporary state. It isn't. You grieve AND smile. Grieve AND laugh, grieve AND live. The challenge is finding people that let you live through and with the grief without making it about themselves or trying to "fix" it.
Considering what he has been through, it could be said that this gentleman is coping fairly well. He is sober, employed, going to the gym etc. He needs empathy...and it will always be that way. Always. He is living through the loss of his child, and time won't change that. Their relationship will require a lot of grace.
She doesn't realize she's already been cut loose.
"That gravitational pull of a similar ethnic group 😅.. how he said that was funny
My Black Kings, please be vulnerable with the women u love and who loves u. We will support u and love u more. ❤
This is such a beautiful couple. I pray that they can work through everything. I can relate to the dad. I went through some extreme grief losing my niece. I was trying to be a strong black woman & I was drowning in my grief & ended my long time relationship because he just couldn't understand. Grief counseling definitely helped me get through it. I'm grateful for Mental health counselors! 🥰💕🙌🏾
This is sad 😢. Hopefully they can heal together as time passes
Wow, this is one of the most vulnerable shows. He will help a lot of folks who are grieving also. I pray for healing.
Wow let the man soothe his grieving soul and the loss of his beloved daughter lady! If he wants children in the house LET HIM WTF
I’m watching and I actually don’t understand her anger with him trying to help other children. I would be involved instead of being feel left out.
Yeah. She had petty complaints. I see why he shuts her out if I’m being honest. She’s nitpicking at him at the worst time of his life and it’s really not fair. I get wanting to be told if kids are there so you’re not walking around half naked in front of children but she sounded and acted like it happens every single day when in fact it’s happened twice. And also WOMEN ALWAYS TOUCH BUFF MEN. I see it all the time. That’s her chance to stand right next to him and rub all over him so everyone knows whose muscles they are instead of being bitchy about it. The way she is making mole hills into mountains will definitely bite her in the ass later even when he does marry her which I think he will because he’s a good, stand up dude.
I think the issue was boundaries and being shut out.
Selfish...
She should move out and allow him to come to terms on his own. She can’t force him to come to terms.
The issue is boundaries. You can't have a bunch of teens laid up all in your house at all hours because your man is grieving.
Especially as a woman, it's compromising to her sense of safety and well being in her own home.
Some of these kids can be very disturbed, you never know.
He can help these kids and love them as a part of his healing process, and that's a beautiful thing, but there are neutral and public places where he can and should do that.
Pops.. Crying ain't a weakness... It's just the opposite! It shows us your warrior.
I feel for this man so much. May God comfort him.
She doesn't want to be a part of his grieving process. She wants him to stop grieving. She seems like she's jealous of his deceased daughter because his focus has been on her. The way she looked at him when he spoke of his daughter & his relationship is telling. She could barely contain herself from rolling her eyes.
I can’t imagine losing my baby, and trying to deal with life. His woman is firm and supportive. Only episode I root for❤
Wow! This was an amazing episode. They way they both expressed themselves with respect, love and openness was so powerful. You could tell they truly loved & treasure each other.
My heart is breaking for this strong man. Hang in there sis because you have a good man.
He can continue to mentor,but he is bringing it to close to home. Mentor after school hours, he still needs to have respect for home,and be able to maintain his privacy🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😊
He said I'm buff, I put the work! Yes! I love it!
❤❤ ….to both of them! I pray that they seek individual and couple’s counseling. God Bless you both!
Much respect to this couple. They are couple goals and struggle we have as a black man and trying to be strong.
People in the comments never loved someone so deeply that it hurts you so badly that in the most desperate time in their life you can’t be there for them. She’s not upset that he’s not paying attention to her she’s hurting because she wants to be there for him desperately but he’s isolating himself from her. That’s hard to just sit and watch your loved one suffering. I feel for her cause it does make you feel powerless and useless. I pray he opens up and allows her to carry some of that burden off his shoulders and don’t continue to fight this fight alone. He’ll never just “get over it” but he can stand together with his family and navigate life to the best of his abilities. That’s what it means to have a partner
Losing a child I can not imagine the pain and grief ❤I have 3 grown son I could not imagine not having one of them on earth with me.
Reading these comments and I disagree with a lot of what people are saying. The easy answer would be "she isn't allowing him to grieve" or "he isn't grieving how she's expecting him to" but that isn't the case. She lets him grieve, she's actually quite supportive. Their lives and relationship changed where he feels compelled to be a father figure to other people which is completely fair considering his daughter died. Because of that, he didn't have enough bandwidth to keep up their relationship. Life changes and so do relationships. Only issues she had were when things affected their relationship. There was no real BAD issue in their relationship. I just don't like how the comments are making it seem like the wife wasn't accommodating or wasn't fair when she was. I'm not sure why everything nowadays has to be so divisive -- it's either his fault or her fault. You can have empathy for his situation AND realize she's right to not like his lack of bandwidth in their relationship now and want to change something about it.
I agree with you 100 percent! He is right to grieve, right to fill that space with mentees if he so desires. And she is supportive, but wants more time and attention for their relationship and wants more communication from him.
She needs to understand grieving isn’t linear. He needs grief counseling but he’s never gonna get over the loss of his daughter. It’ll be with him forever
She also needs counseling too. She seems a little hostile now. He’s wonderful and I hope she can help support him.
he has such a beautiful heart from what i can see and what i hear from this man, i pray nothing but the absolute best for these two. sorry, ive been crying during this one. This hit differently.
My heart Breaks for this dad😢God please heal him please 😢😢🙏🙏🙏❤
Two judges later and nobody does this better than judge Lynn.
Facts
Absolutely ❤❤❤❤
I think they both play diffrent roles
@@iykejnr6296 I agree but I don’t see how any of them is better than her.
He is very well spoken. And exemplifies being a teacher.
I am honored to be watching this episode. Not seeing these toxic couples that can sometimes taint the images of relationships especially- [black ones]bad is refreshing. They seem to be two individuals who love each other, but just have some of life's challenging experiences got them a little bit off track. Everyone deals with tragedy differently. As black people, I think we can sometimes believe that it is wrong if we should are vulnerable, or we have to be tough as nails, and carry our burden by ourselves which is absolutely not true. We shouldn't allow circumstances to pile on and don't deal with it. It will conquer you and the relationship. He should truly trust her and be vulnerable. Don't shut her down. She is just trying to mark her territory with boundaries which is healthy as it should be. .
As a teacher, he should not be allowing mothers of students to be touching him or his arms. Some women are sneaky. It can start with giggling, then a light touch on his arms, then trying to make him their man. This woman is not crazy....she knows how some women can be.
Look How She Rolling Her Eyes While He Talking About His Daughter 🗑️🗑️🗑️She Doesn't Care
He should run, she lacks empathy
Yes, I thought it was just me. She cane off very insensitive.
Yes I saw that too…so disrespectful.
Because he is putting on an act she knows him off camera you all see an edited 20 minutes of him. Give her some credit if she was so bad he wouldn't say those wonderful things about her.
@@richelletvforyou8324yes I feel like he was doing too much and it was fake crying sorry but it didn't seem real..he is sad about his daughter but I think he was being too extra...and if she was rolling her eyes she does probably knw he don't be acting like that at home talking about he don't want her to see him like that yea whatever..some people fall for any body sad story but I wasn't feeling it
poor man never got to finish a sentence
My Condolences to this Mr. Livingston, And I Hope He's Does Awesome with the Grief Counseling. I Believe him and Ms. Hall Will Be fine.
Grief is so hard to understand. Everyone is different, in how they deal.
He seems like a good man, give him some grace and patience..
My heart truly goes out to him
Sounds like he using him grieving as an excuse to cheat
His grieving does not mean she can't advise him on proper boundaries. She's obviously concerned and wants to ensure his intentions with her don't change.
He definitely needs therapy. He tried to do it on his own. He just couldn’t!!! Action is Important for both of them.
God bless this man ❤❤❤
This woman is selfish, and emotionally unavailable. This man lost his only child he have a right to his feelings!
It is tough to mourn as Black men. We are taught to believe that breaking ourselves open reveals our weaknesses. Goodbyes, like mourning, require us to sit in the break, in the liminal spaces between our frail and shattered parts, such that we might piece together a different self-crafted out of ruins.
Such an emotional episode. The Lord shall heal you and give you peace!
Great show....Excellent advice!
I cried a little bit watching this
Awwe my heart goes out to this loving father...I pray they can reconcile and work things out w/ each other. My God grief is something....prayers for healing 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Leave her & never look back. She lacks empathy
That's pretty harsh considering the episodes are edited and you don't know the full story. Some people are better at performing for the camera.
I feel this man’s pain 😢😢😢😢!!! I wish him healing and lots of peace!!!
I understand him very well
Mr. Livingston I say this respectfully… I wish I could be there to help support you. I suffered three major losses, so I completely understand your pain. No one can understand your grief if they have not been through it. It takes time to heal. People must be patient. I speak because I still cry. But God🙌🏽
I will pray that The Lord will help through your time of bereavement. You are an amazing man! Never forget that 🤗May God’s blessings, comfort and love be with you always❤️
Im so sorry for your lost😔❤️
@@Pinkypromise8812 Awww thank you❤️blessings sent to you 🙏🏽
I see a lot of excuses for this man's bad behavior. He completely shut her out of their relationship and on top of that he's doing disrespectful things with other women. Not cool no matter what your going through. Also he knows he's grieving its on him to seek help with his grief. It's almost like he's mad at her for trying to support him through this. He needs therapy.
Right!!!
There should be boundaries and respect on both sides.