My son's empathy was one of the big reasons that I was mistakenly convinced long ago that he couldn't be autistic. Knowing as I now do that he and I are actually both autistic (as are other people I know), I recognize that many autistic people are highly empathetic, but may not express empathy in the ways that neurotypical people expect.
I didn’t realize that seeing the end result in advance was pattern recognition! My dad always tells me I see things 15 steps further down the road, and I can see it almost instantly when a statement is made or an idea is proposed. It’s very frustrating that others don’t see it, but it’s also useful in some scenarios 😊
Another strength i experience is deep, deep involvement and appreciation of art, ideas, nature, the hearts of others, the divine, etc. This can be experienced even to the point of what you might call ecstasy
For me feeling ok in aloneness comes super easy. When covid pandemy started many neurotypicals felt super alone for the first time experiencing isolation from external activities but it did not feel so bad in my case.
I always felt like could sense the emotions other people in the room are feeling. Also with the pets, sometimes think I understand them better than humans.
That's a big part of why I have always hated being in crowded places. It's like you can feel everybody's emotions washing over you. Yuck! And I have always had a way with animals too. Their thought processes are more direct and sensical. Also, pets who "don't like strangers" or "are afraid of men" always seem to connect with me right away.
This is called super -sensible senses. We have more than five senses that modern science knows about. It's the beginning of mystic abilities. The work of Rudolf Steiner could be helpful or research Indigo children. We are from the stars and here for human evolution. We are future humans.
I am not diagnosed yet, but I relate to most of the things you spoke about. I am 57 and start now to find out what my real strength is, who I really am and how I can profit from my strength.
I totally relate to this video! One thing I would add is that in social situations or family interactions or just any ordinary situation I can immediately spot any detail that is incorrect or out of place or an error of some kind. I think this is closely related to noticing patterns and predicting outcomes. But if it’s a minor thing I try not to mention it to others as I’ve been accused of being overly critical even though I did not mean it that way at all. In my mind I was being helpful. This attention to detail and spotting errors did help me in my job though so I think it’s a positive thing but often others do not.
Hiya Taylor, your videos have explained things so well and I feel like I understand myself more than ever before during my self diagnosis journey (and hopefully official in the future), so thank you!! I only wish I could have learnt it sooner than at 32 years old but I am so glad we have all these resources now. A little story that proved to myself that I have autism is what happened while I was in austic burnout five months ago when my smell sensitivity super ability saved my family and my neighbours when I smelt a gas leak before everyone else. The gas engineer said he couldnt smell it but any leak is serious so they got a specialist company to investigate and they used a special tool to detect it. They eventually found it was leaking outside, it was coming up the pipe sleeve into our house which meant they had to dig up the garden and replace the mains pipes but I felt like if I hadn't smelt the leak that day enough of a gas build up could have sparked causing an explosion which could have taken out our house or even the street. This is something I try to remind myself when I know Im struggling with autistic burnout again and can barerly function. I can't always do everything I need to do but when the time comes I can do something truly amazing. And so can we all with our strengths, being able to benefit our life and the lives of others around us with empathy, pattern recognition, our heightened sensitivities, etc
I also feel that writing is one of my strengths as an autistic person-it is so much easier for me to communicate my thoughts to others when I have time to really consider my words and how they are perceived. I’ve realized this is a function of my autism since I am so often awkward in actual conversations/spoken communication is very difficult for me. But I’ve used this strength to my advantage in so many work settings.
ANIMALS! Totally get this one. But there's also this constant back-and-forth with me and our family pets where it's like, "I love you and totally understand you and appreciate you, but leave me alone!" It's like a battle between my desire to connect with them and my demand avoidance when they want my affection 😐 ...come to think of it, it's like that with my wife and kids, too. ...and anyone who tries to be my friend. ...and my past friends. ...and people.
Thank you so much for this video! I have all of these traits, and I had no idea they were associated with autism. I am 57 and just recently self-diagnosed myself as autistic. I became interested in autism after 2 nephews and my niece's son were diagnosed with autism. It made me think that it might run in the family. I started doing research, which led me to your TH-cam channel. I cannot express how helpful your channel has been for me. My autistic characteristics are quite different than my nephews and my sister's grandson, who is 6 years old and non-verbal. So if I were to tell someone in my family that I thought I was autistic, I'm sure they would think I was crazy. Thank you so much for sharing your experience so that people like me can have a better understanding of autism and how it might look in a female or in an adult. As for the list of things that come easily to you as an Autistic Adult, I resonate with all of them! I have always, since I was a child, had a strong bond with animals, had a strong sense of justice (and a difficult time ignoring what I believe to be injustice), and always see patterns in things. I love to research and study things and still, even at 57 years old, have a curious mind and love to learn new things. These traits make me a little different than most of my friends, family, and coworkers, but these are things that I love about myself!
Never had the boss come back and say "how did you know that was going to happen?'" What I did get was disregarded and alienated. 5 years of day after day entering an environment where you're discounted and ignored (basically being advised to stop talking), really built up to a meltdown. This is not the only time or only employer. They don't listen or understand me, and never do they admit that I was right...good times. I've reached the point where I've had enough of this ride, stop the world I want to get off. Sorry, just really frustrated.
@@kylebest914 I felt the same forever. I finally have found 2 part time jobs that suit me really well. I support other autistic adults by driving them places and helping them participate in society a little more. I am also a surrogate mother for people who can't carry their own babies. They are certainly odd and not for everyone, but it's something that I can do and be appreciated for helping rather than alienated. My optimism may be naive, but I think there is a special niche out there for each of us. I hope you find yours 🙏🏼
@ please do not be a surrogate mother. As far as as the baby knows, you ARE their mother. And you are planning to rip them away from the only person in the world they know at birth. When taken from their Mother, infants go through a grieving process, on a biological level, and enter their own version of survival mode. Surrogacy causes permanent trauma to a baby. Just because they don't remember it doesn't mean there is no trauma - it affects the brain wiring for life. Children of surrogacy are also more often lied to about their origin, causing a lot of internal conflict when they inevitably feel a rift with their parents. They will have no information or way to cope with their trauma, when they are told there was no trauma. Please look up about the "primal wound", and stories of adults born from surrogacy. Furthermore, pregnancy and birth are sacred and should never be bought and sold.
@@Ayverie4 I appreciate your passion and your opinion. I'd love to see the peer reviewed research study where you got this information from. As for the baby, it isn't mine. It possesses none of my DNA. As for "buying and selling" I agree children should never be bought or sold. The intended parents simply reimburse me for some of the cost of living while I am carrying their child. No buying or selling of children going on here. I'm just the incubator helping a family become whole. BTW, you and my daughter share the same name 😊
Sorry, one more thing I've noticed about us.. the parents of autistic children support pages have EXTREMELY detailed responses when a member asks for help. The comments are usually so extremely long bc many of us are also on the spectrum & love to share derailed information about a subject we have experienced ❤
YES!! This is so true about comments within this community, as well. Other content creators have commented on how LONG and detailed comments are within the autistic community. Very interesting to me.
Yes to all of these strengths! Resonating with animals FOR SURE. My mother tells the story of when I was three and told her that I had actually been born a kitten and didn't know what had happened. One other thing that comes super easily to me with an autistic brain (and maybe others too!) is that the combo of pattern recognition, research, and empathy makes it really easy and fun for me to get into the headspace of characters who aren't anything like me. So things like writing fiction, acting, roleplaying games, anything like that have always come really naturally to me. (And because unknowingly masking so hard for so many years means that I feel as though I'm just playing a character of myself all the time anyway, the characters I write/portray feel nearly as valid as my regular persona. 😂) Thank you for posting this lovely, validating video! You made my day. 💖
This is super interesting! One of my friend's kids starting telling his teachers he was a dog and he refuses to talk, only act in dog behaviors. Also love what you're saying about how your strengths also help you tap into different characters. Love it!
I am super good and shunting emotions to the side in crisis situations to deal with later. My brain will start building action steps to take almost immediately keeping me focused on what I need to do next.
Me too. Big aftershock in Chch when my brothers family was visiting, sister-in-law started to scream, so I grabbed her toddler and ran to the doorway to shelter, calmly telling the panicking adults to do the same. It was a bit of an eye opener as I was alone in the big one... had no idea my reaction was weird. I try really hard to not get cross when people panic first now (i just don't see how it helps). I don't need to dismiss their emotions (like mine are often diminished!) too.
Yeah they don't panic on purpose. I was surprised in one emergency how my brain just stopped working. When the event was over it was obvious what I should have done, but I was very afraid that my dog was lost or hurt and had to reason thru how to find her in the woods. My brother, also autistic, was with me and he does not have that effect at all... totally calm and reasoned in an emergency. However, it also wasn't his dog ! I did better in an earthquake. 😅 I got under my desk at work, everybody else ran out the building... either the right thing to do was easy enough to remember, or I wasn't scared enough for my brain to deactivate!
I vibe with all of those! I’m AuDHD. Two things that feel related to my neurodivergence are being very good at finding the most efficient way to accomplish a task (ah, but if you use these keyboard shortcuts, you can do this thing in half the amount of time as you could with a mouse!) and being very good at explaining things to people with varying levels of understanding of some situation or issue (it’s easy for me to come at a topic from multiple angles to find the best one for my audience.)
Efficiency and precision 😂😂😂 my partner gets so frustrated with me for being like this. Saying "precision" with the knife hand has become a running joke in our household. Question. Does the efficiency thing ever cause task paralysis for you? I think it's my ADHD getting in the way, but sometimes I get stuck because I can't do things in the most efficient way or order so I don't do anything at all. This is obviously far worse than not doing something the most efficient way. My logic brain says "just do the thing" but the anxiety won't let me.
@@AnatoleMeliae yes! Absolutely I’ve been unable to start a task because I can’t figure out the “best” way to execute it. Super frustrating when that happens. I think it’s one of the reasons that deadlines are one of the things I rely on to break my inertia, because I’m finally forced to just start the thing even if I’m not “ready” to do so.
Hey Taylor! I wanted to thank you for all of the things that you do! My fiance and I are both late-diagnosed...she just turned 40 and I am 57...and we have both learned of our autism in the last few years. Anni and I have watched many of your videos together and paused them and discussed them as we watched! Anni is Finnish and as a 'rabbit-hole' for you to go down, you might want to look into Finnish culture. I love in there when I am visiting (Hopefully moving there soon!)...there is virtually no small talk...it just isn't part of their culture and all of the public transportation is clean and very quiet! Again, Thank you for everything that you do for the Autistic community! You are doing Great! Keep it up!!! :)
Self awareness and empathy were the most relatable to me. Although, every time I dive more deeply into myself, I realise I’m not as self aware as I thought. But that’s how you keep growing in that regard. I feel like I’ve probably done more self reflection, aged 19, than some people ever will in their lives.
My theory is, the reason we listen so closely and you might even say scramble viscerally to sort out what's happening on multiple levels, and where it's likely to go (also comparing it similar situations, cross-referencing it with our memories and previous perceptions, hence the pattern-recognition), is what I consider the essence of autism, which I call matrixlessness. The whole thing about "nobody gave me the script," not knowing the game plan, that whole "this is the first time I've ever done this" when it's the millionth time you've done it (like the supermarket run), even stuff like proso... that thing where you don't recognize faces (in me it's works out this way: I think I know EVERYBODY), it all comes down, my perception tells me, to an essential matrixlessness. The absence of a core matrix for the surrounding world means we're continually at a loss, constantly startled, repeatedly challenged to negotiate and maneuver our way through an "alien" world even when it's the world we've been in for 40, 50, 60 or more years. Because that world simply NEVER settles into a fixed INTERNAL "matrix" for us. There's no inner image corresponding to the outer one, thus the outer one is perpetually something in some way, to some degree, a leap into the unknown. Paradoxically it forces us to learn patterns (perhaps we're learning patterns INSTEAD of a "matrix"?) that nobody else around us seems to pay attention to. So many times I've bitten my tongue, because I don't want to come off as either a cynic or know-it-all, but I've just known that some program or idea was a no-go (or, sorry to say, even a marriage) because the pattern was screamingly obvious and "doesn't anybody else see where this is going?"
Your comment made me think of autism research on the default mode network. This quote from the linked article speaks to what I hear you sayin: "adolescents with autism have a smaller salience network, which is involved in directing attention to stimuli, and larger default mode network, which is active when a person’s attention is turned inward." I make this mean we aren't sorting information into a usability hierarchy, especially not social information, but rather everything is funneled through the self...which is why it's overwhelming.
Oh wow. I just had a flash of a childhood memory of being told “Nobody cares just what YOU think. People care what many people think.” I think it was my dad trying to explain eccentricity and how it’s not exactly wise to let your freak flag fly in front of any and everyone. Maybe even most. I have such early (3yo?) and distinct memories of knowing my sorting matrix didn’t match much of anyone’s really outside of my immediate family or if it did match, invariably those matching people were equally ostracized and “othered” or even moreso than myself. Then the empathy brain train chugging along to “Why can’t everyone just default to being kind anyway?” 😊
Love this, I would add: total comfort with and ability to observe, understand, and seamlessly integrate a huge amount of intricate detail (I see this as related to/synergistic with the pattern recognition thing, but I see it as its own thing). Or maybe more like: finding a lot of detail comforting and helpful rather than confusing or distressing. I do, um, miss the big picture sometimes, but I absolutely adore my detail orientation, and it benefits my family and myself directly all the time.
For my experience, I can handle understanding a great deal of detail... as long as the details are relevant. If I have a bunch of details in front of me and the task requires that I process it, I can usually find the answer quickly. The problem comes up when I'm looking for the answer and someone is asking me about something not immediately related to the task (but I feel that has more to do with transitions).
Most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life is act normal so everyone around me is more comfortable lol. My love for animals is ineffable. I woke one morning to find over thirty animals in my yard, blew my mind all day, rabbits raccoons dogs cats and 2 horses ! lol
This is spot on. Except the management disregards my educated predictions and doesn't remember I even brought it up, no matter what kind of stink I make.
Everything you've listed is exactly what I would say about myself. I don't know about for others, but for me, there's so much comfort in that. Not that I need everyone to be the same. I have felt like an outsider my whole life, so it's just like a breath of fresh air to know there are others who operate similarly. Thank you as always Taylor for creating such an amazing community ♥
I've often thought I was "in my own head" too much. It was hard to explain, but I felt self-focused, yet not self-ish. I like selfism. I thought maybe it was a lonely 80's only child thing. But ever since I've learned more about Autism I've realized that it's probably related. I never thought of it as self-aware because I thought that meant you had your stuff all figured out. I always felt so 'self-confused' and assumed I was not self-aware.
I also can see pattern to predict the future. Though good at avoiding problems, some things disproportionately stress me out. For example, when my kids are doing art projects. I can foresee all the spills and stains and mess. It makes me SUPER anxious to watch them doing crafts. My wife has to be the one to do art projects with them because I get too stressed out about them.
This is pre-cognition , it is a mystic ability. Autistics have advanced DNA. We also have synesthesia where our senses are combined. We are just brainwashed to think it's a disorder. The world is disordered, not us.
Yes! Ty! Also sensitivity to light is fun bc I can see in the dark (even if I got major wrinkles from squinting all my life ha) and my fingers have “eyes” as in I find things, in my purse say, quicker with my fingers than if I look with my eyes. Idk if relatable here. I love finding others “like me” even if only thru interwebs. It’s wild how it’s coming out that we really were right all along ;) The sense of justice is causing much stress and suffering for me, especially recently. Perhaps it’s helping me tho, bc I feel passionate for people to be heard and taken seriously and I’d like to be a part of changing things for the better too ❤
3:00 I've been told I should be a therapist for the straightforward questions I ask. I will hear someone explain a story about their life, gather inferences, and ask meaningful questions
that first one, I'm struggling to even exist, injustice everywhere, i can't just ignore it or pretend I don't see it, I don't just keep quiet like others do yet it makes me appear troublesome cos I"m always fighting or lobbying.
100% 😊 Especially the animal thing & the Empath thing. WHICH, if you combine those together, it explains why out of the different types of Empaths that there are, I think I'm an Animal Empath 😇
Almost all of the list applies to me. I created my book and program for leaders based on what I now understand it my superpower of pattern recognition. When I was a lawyer, mediator and administrative law judge I could so clearly see the places the parties went off track. And it took until I retired for me to finally get it that what seemed obvious to me over my career wasn't at all obvious to most people in the workplace. Even judges and lawyers I respected. And my love of research was a bonus as a TV news anchor/reporter and then in my legal career. Finally, I'm an empath and lightworker.
I think this video was very helpful! This things I have been thinking of myself, but thought of it just traits of my personality. I really like the way these things can be put in the autistic "system", that I have in my brain. There is so much focus on the negative sides of autism, because the health system wants to find ways to help. And then you need to focus on what's hard. But there is so much help in focusing on what comes easy as well. We cannot just skip that part. It creates the whole picture. And as an autistic human, I really need to see the whole picture to understand. Love to you❤️
Okay, pattern recognition is something I KNOW my brain does but it's hard for me to think of a specific example. You mentioned noticing people's mannerisms and behavior and that is SUCH an eye-opener. I notice people's typical responses and phrases, quirks, etc in a way that is SO ANNOYING to me and I never understood why I noticed that stuff so much. What a light bulb moment that this is indeed pattern recognition.
All of these resonate for me deeply. I almost didn't resonate with the one about routines, until you mentioned creating them is a skill, but following through is tough. I LOVE organizing and color-coding systems. Then, I struggle to commit to them. 😬 Anyone else?
All of these conpletely resonate with me. The pattern recognition asoect really comes in useful also for reading body language for unsaid things, as well as the listening aspect for detecting hidden agendas. I could always tell when a colleague was pregnant or when they were planning on leaving before they'd said anything. The conceot that autistic people can't read between the lines is flawed; some of us do it very well.
I'm a fixer. I fix problems and also broken things. I can always figure out a way to improve a situation. I'm also a great diplomat. I am great at making people feel good about themselves, even while communicating a problem I am extremely resourceful And I can make things and build things without instructions or patterns
The sense of justice and the pattern recognition is causing me a lot of problems at work right now. Decisions have been made that make no sense at all, and I can see the possible outcomes this will bring and it’s not good. But my input is not wanted or appreciated, and I have absolutely no say in it. It’s so much more difficult accepting decisions when the reasoning isn’t sound.
This is so hard. I've almost lost several jobs because of it, my brain would just not let it go so I could put my head down and do the socially expected thing even though I knew there would be negative consequences. No advice or platitudes, I just feel this so much and I'm sorry its happening to you right now. (I also know this is a projection since I obviously don't know you or your employer but I am 100% certain that you are right about whatever it is.)
Loved this video. I'm recently diagnosed Autistic, with a pending adhd assessment. I'm 56. I've lived my life processing my experience through the lens of things like being psychic and an empath, finding comfort in the esoteric philosophies. I think the biggest thing that comes easy to me is my creativity. I am uncompromising on carving out my own unique path as an artist. My PDA profile is a brilliant BS detector and I can sniff out insincerity like a master. I sought understanding about how I see things through astrology (is it because I'm a Pisces moon lol) or through MyersBriggs personality testing (i'm an INFJ which literally mirrors Autistic criteria) and so many other ways, just to get to that level of self awareness needed to understand why I was very often isolated in a groupthink, bullied or manipulated by friendship groups or workplace politics. None of it could 'cure' me lol. I remain the same steadfast, bold, direct thinker and speaker, but now after menopause, and a lot of trauma healing, firstly I can see the Autism, and secondly I now couldn't care less what people think of me. I've untangled so many layers that masked it. But I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't have an intellectual disability to navigate and that confuses so many neurotypical people. Right now I'm nourishing myself with all the content I can find that embraces all the positives, since a deficit based diagnosis is pretty disempowering. Thanks for sharing this.
Not only do I feel what those around me feel, I can put it into words and offer assistance to them in addressing problems, working out solutions, and helping them put it into action. However, I can’t easily do that for myself. It’s extremely frustrating. Thankfully as I have matured and learned more about myself, I have gotten better at identifying problems, labeling my emotions, and finding solutions. I often plug my story into one of a friend and approach it from the perspective of talking to a friend instead of thinking of myself and that helps me a lot. For example when my older son assaulted his minor brother, I didn’t immediately know how I felt nor could I decide how to proceed. I asked myself if this were anyone other than my son what would I advise and the answer was call the police, so that’s exactly what I did. There was a time I wouldn’t have been able to come to a conclusion that fast.
This is a great list. I think I would add (in no particular order): 1. A gift for seeing meta-structures in human dynamics. And, yeah, kind of being surprised when other people can't. 2. I think that what sometimes gets coded by others as a lack of empathy is actually the ability to cut through the noise and static of ego to look at a situation very objectively. Like, In all of my careers, I have found great value in reviewing events and looking for what worked well, what was problematic, what appeared to be neutral, what may be unnecessary. I'm not interested in blame or punishment. I want to understand what happened and then integrate what can be learned from it so that we can continue to grow and improve. I experience the process as enriching, not threatening. 3. As a mental health clinician, I think that being autistic is really useful in my work to help clients understand how they make sense. (Pro tip: because how people are does make sense). This, in turn, dissolves shame and makes was for greater self-compassion and curiosity. 4. This one is more of an observation. I'm not sure it rises to the standard of being a trait. It seems to me that allistic people can tend to be more focused on insecurity masquerading as pride, blame, and punishment. These ideas don't appear to seem as relevant to autistic people. Accountability? Yes. Sure. But not an accompanying need to denigrate, humiliate, bully, shame, etc.
I received the diagnostic, but since I'm the 2e (or 3e), this have been a big salad of symptoms and sign(al)s! So, I sometimes doubt the diagnosis, because it is a bunch of stuff almost melt-blended. And yes, I was commenting while watching, this is so ADHD of me... 😂 I don't know if what I commented made sense, but I'm too exhausted to check; that's why I'm gonna trust my somehow intermediate fluency. And I guess this is a very neurodivergent comment.
Totally relate, except that perimenopause hormones exacerbate the ADHD part that interrupts people - so I'm actively listening and also participating too early in the conversation 😅 I would say a strength is even though my sense of smell can bother me or can be overstimulating, it can also be good for detecting danger! I have always been one to smell electrical stuff overheating/burning or smoke in the air. Oftentimes maybe not so positive for someone trying to hide something- but also smelling that someone had smoked in the restroom, for example 😅 Unfortunately MJ is legal in California so that smell drives me crazy, but I suppose I can at least identify where to keep my distance hahah. Also, it came in handy when the oldest kids were younger - like Hey You know you're not supposed to use nail polish in the bedrooms! Or um I'm pretty sure your bf is underaged smoking! You better not be! 😅
Super relatable, especially the whole Justice thing. Justice as a virtue is super important to me, and it's always a bit jarring when others don't seem to hold justice in the same light. I also love cats. They are amazing creatures. I think they are a lot smarter than many people give them credit for, and they have an incredibly diverse range of communication methods. Empathy is also another one that is super relatable. It's always been very normal for me to be very empathetic, which I think is one of the reasons I always thought I couldn't be autistic. Though I've since learned that apparently is a semantics issue and "empathy" doesn't exactly mean what we think it does when autistic people got classed as not being "empathetic", which basically was meant to mean that you can't predict what someone else is thinking. (which is strange because who the heck can predict what another person is thinking anyway lmao). And YES, I'm ALWAYS trying to learn something new, or expand my knowledge on something. I absolutely love researching anything and everything that interests me. Sometimes I even have to tone it back because I get into tunnel vision mode and forget to eat lol Anyway, great video! I haven't tried eye masks yet but you might have sold me on this one. I think it could be super helpful. Thanks!
My boss says I am so logical because I see solutions to problems that arise that other staff don't. They seem to choose the harder route to a solution where my thoughts go to easiest "problem solved" route. I also have most of the traits you listed but not the empathy. I always second guess myself when I try to be empathetic to someone else that I am always thinking afterwards that I may have said something inconsiderate instead.
For me, questioning assumptions is a big one that's pretty much automatic. I think it's one of the reasons I seem so smart to people when they get to know me a bit. I don't think I'm much above average, but I have a different perspective and I have a few automatic things like questioning my assumptions that causes me to evaluate things more critically and reach more robust conclusions that other people just miss because they don't do that. I think that causes me to look smarter than I actually am. Then again, I don't really know what intelligence is or how to define or quantify it, and I do like to dig deep into things and I do have tons of broad interests and my special interests are always in flux between this and that (aside from a few that linger and are more "permanent", so to speak), and other people don't have that, so maybe depending on how intelligence is defined then I am more than just above average, but again I think it just has a lot more to do with how I approach the world and how I think than it has to do with any inherent superior intellect. I think that anyone who did what I do would look a lot smarter over the course of their life than if they didn't.
Veganism combines my passion for justice and fairness amd my love for other animals. Just had this though and I wouldn't be suprised if a lot of vegans are neurodivergent.
I resemble all these attributes and, personally I think they are all good things! I am baffled by those who hear my comments and mock me or others who have these. Why would others think they are "superior" for not actively listening, for not connecting to animals, for not having empathy? To me, Neurotypicals are so bland- so milk toast! We rule!
Agreed, i also share every traight you mentioned👍 I call myself THE Hermetic Master, Ive created the narcist psychopath and empathy theory, the catperson and dogperson theory.
My superiors and bosses hate when I know better than them. They feel threatened and get angry or passive aggressive wit m with me. Because I always know how to improve things and they take it personally. Especially when they know it's a great idea.
"The second thing on my list is pattern recognition" Beyond the 'big picture', there is also a 'massive picture.' We're better than neurotypicals at seeing the 'massive picture'. 😀
I think we're better at the very small and very large, roughly inverting the bell-curve of how much attention we pay to topics at different scales compared to neurotypicals.
Love of animals is not supervisial or obvious. I know a lot of people that feel that way. I do not have it... I stay away from them. Can not handle there smell, movement and sounds. They are unpredictable to me. (I do'nt hate them, I just prefer them not being around me :p ) Altought as a child I did say I was gonna play with the dog or kitten so I did not have to be around all the people... But instead of playing with the animals i sat in a different room or under the table and palyed alone or read a book.
Allowing myself to feel the weight of things NOT being normal. I’m not great at it but I’m trying to carve out time and space to process how I’m actually feeling. It’s tough.
I had a mini fight with my boss recently about the use of AI writing as crediting to a human (lie) for a publication. She told me she was the boss and makes final decisions. I hate conflict but I could not help myself. I've decided that I lost now and I don't want to lose any income so.. yep. End of that!
What about electricity - static electric shocks from styrofoam cups a long time ago and shocks from polyester in other environments especially in winter
It’s a bit weird to say that a sense of justice ‘comes easily’. It’s a majorly debilitating trait. There are all sorts of lucrative jobs that I can’t do because of it, whilst neurotypicals rake in the cash. It means I’m always aware of when I or others are victims of something, whilst neurotypicals can often be exploited but unbothered by it because they accept the right of people higher in a hierarchy to use and hurt people in a lower position, and entirely unconcerned with things that happen to others unless perhaps a social rule is broken.
your video is fairly self explanatory in the point I am making that you should all stop using the word autistic to describe yourselves as the real autistic ones are usually neurotypicals who are indeed morbidly focused on self. Please correct your terminology...... stop self inflicting ignorance upon the neurodivergent community, we need to stop using that word to describe ourselves as it's incorrect!
I find the word "Autism" now has too negative a connotation. For the last decades (and now 5 minutes ago per Grok) it has been and still is listed with , Down Syndrome, Fragile X Syndrome, and intellectual disorders (retardation). The world should start considering us all "On the Spectrum". The Spectrum can be defined as, we are at one point and Elon Musk at some point on the other end. The Spectrum is not 2-dimensional, it is multi-dimensional. What a person on the Spectrum is capable of is a major unknown. Having neurotypicals direct our future is like having a non[-musician lead an orchestra. We need to take responsibility for directing ourselves. . . Our continuing to used the word autistic simply continues to groups us with Fragile X and Down Syndrom grouping us with Fragi;e X. This is a mentally unhealthy outlook. The word Autism makes sense when used on insurance forms. But denying your children the knowledge that their brain is in ways more like Elon Musk is bad parenting! MRIs etc show that neurodivergent brains have more synapse and neurons and are larger. . .
I didn’t realize that seeing the end result in advance was pattern recognition! My dad always tells me I see things 15 steps further down the road, and I can see it almost instantly when a statement is made or an idea is proposed. It’s very frustrating that others don’t see it, but it’s also useful in some scenarios 😊
My son's empathy was one of the big reasons that I was mistakenly convinced long ago that he couldn't be autistic. Knowing as I now do that he and I are actually both autistic (as are other people I know), I recognize that many autistic people are highly empathetic, but may not express empathy in the ways that neurotypical people expect.
Super strong empathy
I didn’t realize that seeing the end result in advance was pattern recognition! My dad always tells me I see things 15 steps further down the road, and I can see it almost instantly when a statement is made or an idea is proposed. It’s very frustrating that others don’t see it, but it’s also useful in some scenarios 😊
Another strength i experience is deep, deep involvement and appreciation of art, ideas, nature, the hearts of others, the divine, etc. This can be experienced even to the point of what you might call ecstasy
This. ❤
Beauty = Patterns in nature. More powerful pattern recognition = Deep appreciation of nature.
Yes! Autistic joy! For sure
For me feeling ok in aloneness comes super easy. When covid pandemy started many neurotypicals felt super alone for the first time experiencing isolation from external activities but it did not feel so bad in my case.
In fact, the Pandemic felt no different than life before or after it!
Yes the lockdowns really affected me. 5 years later I self diagnoses
I always felt like could sense the emotions other people in the room are feeling. Also with the pets, sometimes think I understand them better than humans.
HAVE their emotions from touch. Sometimes for a LONG time
That's a big part of why I have always hated being in crowded places. It's like you can feel everybody's emotions washing over you. Yuck! And I have always had a way with animals too. Their thought processes are more direct and sensical. Also, pets who "don't like strangers" or "are afraid of men" always seem to connect with me right away.
@nathanh6439 Yes, exactly. I hate crowds too.
This is called super -sensible senses. We have more than five senses that modern science knows about. It's the beginning of mystic abilities. The work of Rudolf Steiner could be helpful or research Indigo children. We are from the stars and here for human evolution. We are future humans.
I am not diagnosed yet, but I relate to most of the things you spoke about. I am 57 and start now to find out what my real strength is, who I really am and how I can profit from my strength.
So glad you're here! I have other videos on autistic strengths as well. Feel free to check them out if you think they'd be helpful.
I totally relate to this video! One thing I would add is that in social situations or family interactions or just any ordinary situation I can immediately spot any detail that is incorrect or out of place or an error of some kind. I think this is closely related to noticing patterns and predicting outcomes. But if it’s a minor thing I try not to mention it to others as I’ve been accused of being overly critical even though I did not mean it that way at all. In my mind I was being helpful. This attention to detail and spotting errors did help me in my job though so I think it’s a positive thing but often others do not.
Hiya Taylor, your videos have explained things so well and I feel like I understand myself more than ever before during my self diagnosis journey (and hopefully official in the future), so thank you!!
I only wish I could have learnt it sooner than at 32 years old but I am so glad we have all these resources now.
A little story that proved to myself that I have autism is what happened while I was in austic burnout five months ago when my smell sensitivity super ability saved my family and my neighbours when I smelt a gas leak before everyone else.
The gas engineer said he couldnt smell it but any leak is serious so they got a specialist company to investigate and they used a special tool to detect it.
They eventually found it was leaking outside, it was coming up the pipe sleeve into our house which meant they had to dig up the garden and replace the mains pipes but I felt like if I hadn't smelt the leak that day enough of a gas build up could have sparked causing an explosion which could have taken out our house or even the street.
This is something I try to remind myself when I know Im struggling with autistic burnout again and can barerly function.
I can't always do everything I need to do but when the time comes I can do something truly amazing.
And so can we all with our strengths, being able to benefit our life and the lives of others around us with empathy, pattern recognition, our heightened sensitivities, etc
I also feel that writing is one of my strengths as an autistic person-it is so much easier for me to communicate my thoughts to others when I have time to really consider my words and how they are perceived. I’ve realized this is a function of my autism since I am so often awkward in actual conversations/spoken communication is very difficult for me. But I’ve used this strength to my advantage in so many work settings.
I have never felt so perfectly heard in my entire life.
ANIMALS! Totally get this one. But there's also this constant back-and-forth with me and our family pets where it's like, "I love you and totally understand you and appreciate you, but leave me alone!" It's like a battle between my desire to connect with them and my demand avoidance when they want my affection 😐
...come to think of it, it's like that with my wife and kids, too.
...and anyone who tries to be my friend.
...and my past friends.
...and people.
I have to put a body pillow between myself and the doggo or else she'll sleep on me and i can't sleep with someone touching me.
Every single thing you spoke about here is ..."me too". Utterly and completely. It is such a comfort to hear it expressed. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this video! I have all of these traits, and I had no idea they were associated with autism.
I am 57 and just recently self-diagnosed myself as autistic. I became interested in autism after 2 nephews and my niece's son were diagnosed with autism. It made me think that it might run in the family. I started doing research, which led me to your TH-cam channel. I cannot express how helpful your channel has been for me. My autistic characteristics are quite different than my nephews and my sister's grandson, who is 6 years old and non-verbal. So if I were to tell someone in my family that I thought I was autistic, I'm sure they would think I was crazy. Thank you so much for sharing your experience so that people like me can have a better understanding of autism and how it might look in a female or in an adult.
As for the list of things that come easily to you as an Autistic Adult, I resonate with all of them! I have always, since I was a child, had a strong bond with animals, had a strong sense of justice (and a difficult time ignoring what I believe to be injustice), and always see patterns in things. I love to research and study things and still, even at 57 years old, have a curious mind and love to learn new things. These traits make me a little different than most of my friends, family, and coworkers, but these are things that I love about myself!
Never had the boss come back and say "how did you know that was going to happen?'" What I did get was disregarded and alienated. 5 years of day after day entering an environment where you're discounted and ignored (basically being advised to stop talking), really built up to a meltdown. This is not the only time or only employer. They don't listen or understand me, and never do they admit that I was right...good times. I've reached the point where I've had enough of this ride, stop the world I want to get off. Sorry, just really frustrated.
@@kylebest914 I felt the same forever. I finally have found 2 part time jobs that suit me really well. I support other autistic adults by driving them places and helping them participate in society a little more. I am also a surrogate mother for people who can't carry their own babies. They are certainly odd and not for everyone, but it's something that I can do and be appreciated for helping rather than alienated. My optimism may be naive, but I think there is a special niche out there for each of us. I hope you find yours 🙏🏼
@ please do not be a surrogate mother. As far as as the baby knows, you ARE their mother. And you are planning to rip them away from the only person in the world they know at birth. When taken from their Mother, infants go through a grieving process, on a biological level, and enter their own version of survival mode. Surrogacy causes permanent trauma to a baby. Just because they don't remember it doesn't mean there is no trauma - it affects the brain wiring for life. Children of surrogacy are also more often lied to about their origin, causing a lot of internal conflict when they inevitably feel a rift with their parents. They will have no information or way to cope with their trauma, when they are told there was no trauma. Please look up about the "primal wound", and stories of adults born from surrogacy. Furthermore, pregnancy and birth are sacred and should never be bought and sold.
@@Ayverie4 I appreciate your passion and your opinion. I'd love to see the peer reviewed research study where you got this information from. As for the baby, it isn't mine. It possesses none of my DNA. As for "buying and selling" I agree children should never be bought or sold. The intended parents simply reimburse me for some of the cost of living while I am carrying their child. No buying or selling of children going on here. I'm just the incubator helping a family become whole. BTW, you and my daughter share the same name 😊
Sorry, one more thing I've noticed about us.. the parents of autistic children support pages have EXTREMELY detailed responses when a member asks for help. The comments are usually so extremely long bc many of us are also on the spectrum & love to share derailed information about a subject we have experienced ❤
YES!! This is so true about comments within this community, as well. Other content creators have commented on how LONG and detailed comments are within the autistic community. Very interesting to me.
and just a few days ago I felt ashamed and thought about delete my comment, because it was way to long but still incorrect…
Yes to all of these strengths! Resonating with animals FOR SURE. My mother tells the story of when I was three and told her that I had actually been born a kitten and didn't know what had happened. One other thing that comes super easily to me with an autistic brain (and maybe others too!) is that the combo of pattern recognition, research, and empathy makes it really easy and fun for me to get into the headspace of characters who aren't anything like me. So things like writing fiction, acting, roleplaying games, anything like that have always come really naturally to me. (And because unknowingly masking so hard for so many years means that I feel as though I'm just playing a character of myself all the time anyway, the characters I write/portray feel nearly as valid as my regular persona. 😂) Thank you for posting this lovely, validating video! You made my day. 💖
This is super interesting! One of my friend's kids starting telling his teachers he was a dog and he refuses to talk, only act in dog behaviors.
Also love what you're saying about how your strengths also help you tap into different characters. Love it!
I am super good and shunting emotions to the side in crisis situations to deal with later. My brain will start building action steps to take almost immediately keeping me focused on what I need to do next.
I totally relate to this!
Me too. Big aftershock in Chch when my brothers family was visiting, sister-in-law started to scream, so I grabbed her toddler and ran to the doorway to shelter, calmly telling the panicking adults to do the same. It was a bit of an eye opener as I was alone in the big one... had no idea my reaction was weird. I try really hard to not get cross when people panic first now (i just don't see how it helps). I don't need to dismiss their emotions (like mine are often diminished!) too.
Yeah they don't panic on purpose. I was surprised in one emergency how my brain just stopped working. When the event was over it was obvious what I should have done, but I was very afraid that my dog was lost or hurt and had to reason thru how to find her in the woods. My brother, also autistic, was with me and he does not have that effect at all... totally calm and reasoned in an emergency. However, it also wasn't his dog !
I did better in an earthquake. 😅 I got under my desk at work, everybody else ran out the building... either the right thing to do was easy enough to remember, or I wasn't scared enough for my brain to deactivate!
Hear, hear sister! You just described me to a tee. I have a friend who is always telling me, "Quit noticing things!"
Yeah, some autistic people are hyper observant! And I know it can be exhausting 😅
I vibe with all of those! I’m AuDHD. Two things that feel related to my neurodivergence are being very good at finding the most efficient way to accomplish a task (ah, but if you use these keyboard shortcuts, you can do this thing in half the amount of time as you could with a mouse!) and being very good at explaining things to people with varying levels of understanding of some situation or issue (it’s easy for me to come at a topic from multiple angles to find the best one for my audience.)
Yes! Especially love what you're saying about explaining things at various levels of understanding. Thanks for sharing!
Efficiency and precision 😂😂😂 my partner gets so frustrated with me for being like this. Saying "precision" with the knife hand has become a running joke in our household.
Question. Does the efficiency thing ever cause task paralysis for you? I think it's my ADHD getting in the way, but sometimes I get stuck because I can't do things in the most efficient way or order so I don't do anything at all. This is obviously far worse than not doing something the most efficient way. My logic brain says "just do the thing" but the anxiety won't let me.
@@AnatoleMeliae yes! Absolutely I’ve been unable to start a task because I can’t figure out the “best” way to execute it. Super frustrating when that happens. I think it’s one of the reasons that deadlines are one of the things I rely on to break my inertia, because I’m finally forced to just start the thing even if I’m not “ready” to do so.
@@CoreenMontagna I'm going to have to try setting deadlines for myself. That might actually work. Thanks!
@ only works for me if the deadline is imposed by someone else, but good luck!
Hey Taylor! I wanted to thank you for all of the things that you do! My fiance and I are both late-diagnosed...she just turned 40 and I am 57...and we have both learned of our autism in the last few years. Anni and I have watched many of your videos together and paused them and discussed them as we watched! Anni is Finnish and as a 'rabbit-hole' for you to go down, you might want to look into Finnish culture. I love in there when I am visiting (Hopefully moving there soon!)...there is virtually no small talk...it just isn't part of their culture and all of the public transportation is clean and very quiet! Again, Thank you for everything that you do for the Autistic community! You are doing Great! Keep it up!!! :)
Fascinating! Thanks for sharing - so glad you’re both part of the community.
Self awareness and empathy were the most relatable to me. Although, every time I dive more deeply into myself, I realise I’m not as self aware as I thought. But that’s how you keep growing in that regard. I feel like I’ve probably done more self reflection, aged 19, than some people ever will in their lives.
My theory is, the reason we listen so closely and you might even say scramble viscerally to sort out what's happening on multiple levels, and where it's likely to go (also comparing it similar situations, cross-referencing it with our memories and previous perceptions, hence the pattern-recognition), is what I consider the essence of autism, which I call matrixlessness. The whole thing about "nobody gave me the script," not knowing the game plan, that whole "this is the first time I've ever done this" when it's the millionth time you've done it (like the supermarket run), even stuff like proso... that thing where you don't recognize faces (in me it's works out this way: I think I know EVERYBODY), it all comes down, my perception tells me, to an essential matrixlessness. The absence of a core matrix for the surrounding world means we're continually at a loss, constantly startled, repeatedly challenged to negotiate and maneuver our way through an "alien" world even when it's the world we've been in for 40, 50, 60 or more years. Because that world simply NEVER settles into a fixed INTERNAL "matrix" for us. There's no inner image corresponding to the outer one, thus the outer one is perpetually something in some way, to some degree, a leap into the unknown. Paradoxically it forces us to learn patterns (perhaps we're learning patterns INSTEAD of a "matrix"?) that nobody else around us seems to pay attention to. So many times I've bitten my tongue, because I don't want to come off as either a cynic or know-it-all, but I've just known that some program or idea was a no-go (or, sorry to say, even a marriage) because the pattern was screamingly obvious and "doesn't anybody else see where this is going?"
🤯 really enjoy reading through your insight on this. thanks for your comment!
Your comment made me think of autism research on the default mode network. This quote from the linked article speaks to what I hear you sayin: "adolescents with autism have a smaller salience network, which is involved in directing attention to stimuli, and larger default mode network, which is active when a person’s attention is turned inward." I make this mean we aren't sorting information into a usability hierarchy, especially not social information, but rather everything is funneled through the self...which is why it's overwhelming.
Oh wow. I just had a flash of a childhood memory of being told “Nobody cares just what YOU think. People care what many people think.” I think it was my dad trying to explain eccentricity and how it’s not exactly wise to let your freak flag fly in front of any and everyone. Maybe even most. I have such early (3yo?) and distinct memories of knowing my sorting matrix didn’t match much of anyone’s really outside of my immediate family or if it did match, invariably those matching people were equally ostracized and “othered” or even moreso than myself. Then the empathy brain train chugging along to “Why can’t everyone just default to being kind anyway?” 😊
@@MomontheSpectrum Thank you. 🙂
@@beautyactivist 🙂
And a grateful thanks to you for being so generous and supportive with your life! God bless you 🙏😇
Thanks so much for your kind comment!
Love this, I would add: total comfort with and ability to observe, understand, and seamlessly integrate a huge amount of intricate detail (I see this as related to/synergistic with the pattern recognition thing, but I see it as its own thing). Or maybe more like: finding a lot of detail comforting and helpful rather than confusing or distressing. I do, um, miss the big picture sometimes, but I absolutely adore my detail orientation, and it benefits my family and myself directly all the time.
For my experience, I can handle understanding a great deal of detail... as long as the details are relevant. If I have a bunch of details in front of me and the task requires that I process it, I can usually find the answer quickly. The problem comes up when I'm looking for the answer and someone is asking me about something not immediately related to the task (but I feel that has more to do with transitions).
Most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life is act normal so everyone around me is more comfortable lol. My love for animals is ineffable. I woke one morning to find over thirty animals in my yard, blew my mind all day, rabbits raccoons dogs cats and 2 horses ! lol
100% wow yes. I love that I'm not alone anymore
This is spot on. Except the management disregards my educated predictions and doesn't remember I even brought it up, no matter what kind of stink I make.
Can relate to alot of this especially re sense of justice and seeing the end point of something.
So frustrating at times.
Everything you've listed is exactly what I would say about myself. I don't know about for others, but for me, there's so much comfort in that. Not that I need everyone to be the same. I have felt like an outsider my whole life, so it's just like a breath of fresh air to know there are others who operate similarly. Thank you as always Taylor for creating such an amazing community ♥
I've often thought I was "in my own head" too much. It was hard to explain, but I felt self-focused, yet not self-ish. I like selfism.
I thought maybe it was a lonely 80's only child thing. But ever since I've learned more about Autism I've realized that it's probably related.
I never thought of it as self-aware because I thought that meant you had your stuff all figured out. I always felt so 'self-confused' and assumed I was not self-aware.
Yeah, I haven’t found self awareness to mean you’ve got your stuff all figured out. I definitely don’t!
*Takes notes for my resume*
I also can see pattern to predict the future. Though good at avoiding problems, some things disproportionately stress me out. For example, when my kids are doing art projects. I can foresee all the spills and stains and mess. It makes me SUPER anxious to watch them doing crafts. My wife has to be the one to do art projects with them because I get too stressed out about them.
This is pre-cognition , it is a mystic ability. Autistics have advanced DNA. We also have synesthesia where our senses are combined. We are just brainwashed to think it's a disorder. The world is disordered, not us.
Yes! Ty! Also sensitivity to light is fun bc I can see in the dark (even if I got major wrinkles from squinting all my life ha) and my fingers have “eyes” as in I find things, in my purse say, quicker with my fingers than if I look with my eyes. Idk if relatable here. I love finding others “like me” even if only thru interwebs. It’s wild how it’s coming out that we really were right all along ;)
The sense of justice is causing much stress and suffering for me, especially recently. Perhaps it’s helping me tho, bc I feel passionate for people to be heard and taken seriously and I’d like to be a part of changing things for the better too ❤
3:00 I've been told I should be a therapist for the straightforward questions I ask. I will hear someone explain a story about their life, gather inferences, and ask meaningful questions
that first one, I'm struggling to even exist, injustice everywhere, i can't just ignore it or pretend I don't see it, I don't just keep quiet like others do yet it makes me appear troublesome cos I"m always fighting or lobbying.
100% 😊 Especially the animal thing & the Empath thing. WHICH, if you combine those together, it explains why out of the different types of Empaths that there are, I think I'm an Animal Empath 😇
Great connection!
Almost all of the list applies to me. I created my book and program for leaders based on what I now understand it my superpower of pattern recognition. When I was a lawyer, mediator and administrative law judge I could so clearly see the places the parties went off track. And it took until I retired for me to finally get it that what seemed obvious to me over my career wasn't at all obvious to most people in the workplace. Even judges and lawyers I respected. And my love of research was a bonus as a TV news anchor/reporter and then in my legal career. Finally, I'm an empath and lightworker.
Wow! Fascinating turn of events. Thanks for sharing part of your story with us!
Thank you for mentioning the light workers. I think our extra light turns chaos into order, by our very beingness and the love we hold in our hearts.
thank you so much! at the moment I'm struggling so much, its such a relief to be remembered of our strong sides.
Empathy. Ugh! I mask and supress my own emotions so much that I just obsorb other people's instead of just feeling my own. It's rough!
I think this video was very helpful! This things I have been thinking of myself, but thought of it just traits of my personality. I really like the way these things can be put in the autistic "system", that I have in my brain. There is so much focus on the negative sides of autism, because the health system wants to find ways to help. And then you need to focus on what's hard. But there is so much help in focusing on what comes easy as well. We cannot just skip that part. It creates the whole picture. And as an autistic human, I really need to see the whole picture to understand. Love to you❤️
Okay, pattern recognition is something I KNOW my brain does but it's hard for me to think of a specific example. You mentioned noticing people's mannerisms and behavior and that is SUCH an eye-opener. I notice people's typical responses and phrases, quirks, etc in a way that is SO ANNOYING to me and I never understood why I noticed that stuff so much. What a light bulb moment that this is indeed pattern recognition.
All of these resonate for me deeply. I almost didn't resonate with the one about routines, until you mentioned creating them is a skill, but following through is tough. I LOVE organizing and color-coding systems. Then, I struggle to commit to them. 😬 Anyone else?
Yeah, I can organize stuff, but I didn’t talk about follow through…. 🙃 not my strong suit
I am a book dragon! Consuming knowledge is a special interest.
🐉
All of these conpletely resonate with me. The pattern recognition asoect really comes in useful also for reading body language for unsaid things, as well as the listening aspect for detecting hidden agendas. I could always tell when a colleague was pregnant or when they were planning on leaving before they'd said anything. The conceot that autistic people can't read between the lines is flawed; some of us do it very well.
I'm a fixer. I fix problems and also broken things. I can always figure out a way to improve a situation.
I'm also a great diplomat. I am great at making people feel good about themselves, even while communicating a problem
I am extremely resourceful
And I can make things and build things without instructions or patterns
I relate to almost the whole list.
My strong sense of justice is really struggling at the moment with everything that's originating from DT and EM.
The sense of justice and the pattern recognition is causing me a lot of problems at work right now. Decisions have been made that make no sense at all, and I can see the possible outcomes this will bring and it’s not good. But my input is not wanted or appreciated, and I have absolutely no say in it. It’s so much more difficult accepting decisions when the reasoning isn’t sound.
This is so hard. I've almost lost several jobs because of it, my brain would just not let it go so I could put my head down and do the socially expected thing even though I knew there would be negative consequences. No advice or platitudes, I just feel this so much and I'm sorry its happening to you right now. (I also know this is a projection since I obviously don't know you or your employer but I am 100% certain that you are right about whatever it is.)
Every single one of these applies to me!
Animals are my people. I always felt like an animal compared to people.
Loved this video. I'm recently diagnosed Autistic, with a pending adhd assessment. I'm 56. I've lived my life processing my experience through the lens of things like being psychic and an empath, finding comfort in the esoteric philosophies. I think the biggest thing that comes easy to me is my creativity. I am uncompromising on carving out my own unique path as an artist. My PDA profile is a brilliant BS detector and I can sniff out insincerity like a master. I sought understanding about how I see things through astrology (is it because I'm a Pisces moon lol) or through MyersBriggs personality testing (i'm an INFJ which literally mirrors Autistic criteria) and so many other ways, just to get to that level of self awareness needed to understand why I was very often isolated in a groupthink, bullied or manipulated by friendship groups or workplace politics. None of it could 'cure' me lol. I remain the same steadfast, bold, direct thinker and speaker, but now after menopause, and a lot of trauma healing, firstly I can see the Autism, and secondly I now couldn't care less what people think of me. I've untangled so many layers that masked it. But I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't have an intellectual disability to navigate and that confuses so many neurotypical people. Right now I'm nourishing myself with all the content I can find that embraces all the positives, since a deficit based diagnosis is pretty disempowering. Thanks for sharing this.
Not only do I feel what those around me feel, I can put it into words and offer assistance to them in addressing problems, working out solutions, and helping them put it into action. However, I can’t easily do that for myself. It’s extremely frustrating.
Thankfully as I have matured and learned more about myself, I have gotten better at identifying problems, labeling my emotions, and finding solutions. I often plug my story into one of a friend and approach it from the perspective of talking to a friend instead of thinking of myself and that helps me a lot.
For example when my older son assaulted his minor brother, I didn’t immediately know how I felt nor could I decide how to proceed. I asked myself if this were anyone other than my son what would I advise and the answer was call the police, so that’s exactly what I did. There was a time I wouldn’t have been able to come to a conclusion that fast.
This was a crazy accurate description of my life 😳 😄
Thank you, I’m gonna go share this with family members now!
Very good list. All of those traits are ever present in my life.
i resonated with every word, thank you so much!!!
So glad! And you’re welcome! Thanks for your comment
Yep - really get all these 🖤
This is a great list. I think I would add (in no particular order):
1. A gift for seeing meta-structures in human dynamics. And, yeah, kind of being surprised when other people can't.
2. I think that what sometimes gets coded by others as a lack of empathy is actually the ability to cut through the noise and static of ego to look at a situation very objectively. Like, In all of my careers, I have found great value in reviewing events and looking for what worked well, what was problematic, what appeared to be neutral, what may be unnecessary. I'm not interested in blame or punishment. I want to understand what happened and then integrate what can be learned from it so that we can continue to grow and improve. I experience the process as enriching, not threatening.
3. As a mental health clinician, I think that being autistic is really useful in my work to help clients understand how they make sense. (Pro tip: because how people are does make sense). This, in turn, dissolves shame and makes was for greater self-compassion and curiosity.
4. This one is more of an observation. I'm not sure it rises to the standard of being a trait. It seems to me that allistic people can tend to be more focused on insecurity masquerading as pride, blame, and punishment. These ideas don't appear to seem as relevant to autistic people. Accountability? Yes. Sure. But not an accompanying need to denigrate, humiliate, bully, shame, etc.
I received the diagnostic, but since I'm the 2e (or 3e), this have been a big salad of symptoms and sign(al)s! So, I sometimes doubt the diagnosis, because it is a bunch of stuff almost melt-blended. And yes, I was commenting while watching, this is so ADHD of me... 😂
I don't know if what I commented made sense, but I'm too exhausted to check; that's why I'm gonna trust my somehow intermediate fluency. And I guess this is a very neurodivergent comment.
✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️ to every single one. Really reassuring. 🙂
Totally relate, except that perimenopause hormones exacerbate the ADHD part that interrupts people - so I'm actively listening and also participating too early in the conversation 😅
I would say a strength is even though my sense of smell can bother me or can be overstimulating, it can also be good for detecting danger! I have always been one to smell electrical stuff overheating/burning or smoke in the air. Oftentimes maybe not so positive for someone trying to hide something- but also smelling that someone had smoked in the restroom, for example 😅 Unfortunately MJ is legal in California so that smell drives me crazy, but I suppose I can at least identify where to keep my distance hahah. Also, it came in handy when the oldest kids were younger - like Hey You know you're not supposed to use nail polish in the bedrooms! Or um I'm pretty sure your bf is underaged smoking! You better not be! 😅
oooh my daughter has super perceptive hearing. interesting to read your perspective on this!
All the above. Thank you. Really truly helpful.
Tim.
Glad it was helpful!
Super relatable, especially the whole Justice thing. Justice as a virtue is super important to me, and it's always a bit jarring when others don't seem to hold justice in the same light.
I also love cats. They are amazing creatures. I think they are a lot smarter than many people give them credit for, and they have an incredibly diverse range of communication methods.
Empathy is also another one that is super relatable. It's always been very normal for me to be very empathetic, which I think is one of the reasons I always thought I couldn't be autistic. Though I've since learned that apparently is a semantics issue and "empathy" doesn't exactly mean what we think it does when autistic people got classed as not being "empathetic", which basically was meant to mean that you can't predict what someone else is thinking. (which is strange because who the heck can predict what another person is thinking anyway lmao).
And YES, I'm ALWAYS trying to learn something new, or expand my knowledge on something. I absolutely love researching anything and everything that interests me. Sometimes I even have to tone it back because I get into tunnel vision mode and forget to eat lol
Anyway, great video! I haven't tried eye masks yet but you might have sold me on this one. I think it could be super helpful. Thanks!
100%. On all of it.
wow, crazy, this is 100% match with me!!!!
My boss says I am so logical because I see solutions to problems that arise that other staff don't. They seem to choose the harder route to a solution where my thoughts go to easiest "problem solved" route.
I also have most of the traits you listed but not the empathy. I always second guess myself when I try to be empathetic to someone else that I am always thinking afterwards that I may have said something inconsiderate instead.
For me, questioning assumptions is a big one that's pretty much automatic. I think it's one of the reasons I seem so smart to people when they get to know me a bit. I don't think I'm much above average, but I have a different perspective and I have a few automatic things like questioning my assumptions that causes me to evaluate things more critically and reach more robust conclusions that other people just miss because they don't do that. I think that causes me to look smarter than I actually am.
Then again, I don't really know what intelligence is or how to define or quantify it, and I do like to dig deep into things and I do have tons of broad interests and my special interests are always in flux between this and that (aside from a few that linger and are more "permanent", so to speak), and other people don't have that, so maybe depending on how intelligence is defined then I am more than just above average, but again I think it just has a lot more to do with how I approach the world and how I think than it has to do with any inherent superior intellect. I think that anyone who did what I do would look a lot smarter over the course of their life than if they didn't.
Veganism combines my passion for justice and fairness amd my love for other animals. Just had this though and I wouldn't be suprised if a lot of vegans are neurodivergent.
So Hello from another vegan 🌱😀
Love this insight!
I resemble all these attributes and, personally I think they are all good things! I am baffled by those who hear my comments and mock me or others who have these. Why would others think they are "superior" for not actively listening, for not connecting to animals, for not having empathy? To me, Neurotypicals are so bland- so milk toast! We rule!
I relate to all of these traits.
Hi from Georgia!
Hello! 👋
5:50
Research on my own terms comes easily to me. But the structured, suffocating way they taught at uni doesn’t.
OMG i have all of them to a high degree (except the animals.. i guess books are my animals) I am 55 and have not been diagnosed.
Yes yes yes. !
Agreed, i also share every traight you mentioned👍
I call myself THE Hermetic Master, Ive created the narcist psychopath and empathy theory, the catperson and dogperson theory.
My superiors and bosses hate when I know better than them. They feel threatened and get angry or passive aggressive wit m with me. Because I always know how to improve things and they take it personally. Especially when they know it's a great idea.
"The second thing on my list is pattern recognition"
Beyond the 'big picture', there is also a 'massive picture.'
We're better than neurotypicals at seeing the 'massive picture'. 😀
Ha. Love the distinction! Thanks for sharing
I think we're better at the very small and very large, roughly inverting the bell-curve of how much attention we pay to topics at different scales compared to neurotypicals.
"I think we're better at the very small and very large, roughly inverting the bell-curve...."
I think you're right about that.
That's amazing, I'm so similar! I thought it's my personality. Turns out it's just autism XD
Is that a Djembe I see in the back?
Love of animals is not supervisial or obvious. I know a lot of people that feel that way.
I do not have it... I stay away from them. Can not handle there smell, movement and sounds.
They are unpredictable to me. (I do'nt hate them, I just prefer them not being around me :p )
Altought as a child I did say I was gonna play with the dog or kitten so I did not have to be around all the people... But instead of playing with the animals i sat in a different room or under the table and palyed alone or read a book.
That sense of justice and needing things to be right is causing me a lot of problems this week. How are you managing to act like everything is normal?
Allowing myself to feel the weight of things NOT being normal. I’m not great at it but I’m trying to carve out time and space to process how I’m actually feeling. It’s tough.
I had a mini fight with my boss recently about the use of AI writing as crediting to a human (lie) for a publication. She told me she was the boss and makes final decisions. I hate conflict but I could not help myself. I've decided that I lost now and I don't want to lose any income so.. yep. End of that!
What about electricity - static electric shocks from styrofoam cups a long time ago and shocks from polyester in other environments especially in winter
your so cool.
It’s a bit weird to say that a sense of justice ‘comes easily’. It’s a majorly debilitating trait. There are all sorts of lucrative jobs that I can’t do because of it, whilst neurotypicals rake in the cash. It means I’m always aware of when I or others are victims of something, whilst neurotypicals can often be exploited but unbothered by it because they accept the right of people higher in a hierarchy to use and hurt people in a lower position, and entirely unconcerned with things that happen to others unless perhaps a social rule is broken.
I'm just the opposite about animals. I can't handle the smell, sounds and activity of animals.
Thanks for sharing this perspective! There are so many different experiences amongst autistic individuals, all across the spectrum.
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Animals ❣️
I think the animal affinity is common because they are non-verbal..
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your video is fairly self explanatory in the point I am making that you should all stop using the word autistic to describe yourselves as the real autistic ones are usually neurotypicals who are indeed morbidly focused on self. Please correct your terminology...... stop self inflicting ignorance upon the neurodivergent community, we need to stop using that word to describe ourselves as it's incorrect!
I find the word "Autism" now has too negative a connotation. For the last decades (and now 5 minutes ago per Grok) it has been and still is listed with , Down Syndrome, Fragile X Syndrome, and intellectual disorders (retardation).
The world should start considering us all "On the Spectrum". The Spectrum can be defined as, we are at one point and Elon Musk at some point on the other end. The Spectrum is not 2-dimensional, it is multi-dimensional. What a person on the Spectrum is capable of is a major unknown.
Having neurotypicals direct our future is like having a non[-musician lead an orchestra. We need to take responsibility for directing ourselves. . . Our continuing to used the word autistic simply continues to groups us with Fragile X and Down Syndrom grouping us with Fragi;e X. This is a mentally unhealthy outlook.
The word Autism makes sense when used on insurance forms. But denying your children the knowledge that their brain is in ways more like Elon Musk is bad parenting! MRIs etc show that neurodivergent brains have more synapse and neurons and are larger. . .
I must have a different type of autism. I don't like animals, am a terrible listener and have pretty low empathy 😅
I didn’t realize that seeing the end result in advance was pattern recognition! My dad always tells me I see things 15 steps further down the road, and I can see it almost instantly when a statement is made or an idea is proposed. It’s very frustrating that others don’t see it, but it’s also useful in some scenarios 😊