Friendships are a two-way street which is pretty much why my friend pool is 3 people TOPS lmao. It's so hard to trust a bunch of people with that energy and effort
I love how he talks about how YOU make your decisions and YOU always have a choice in the matter, this motivates me to stop feeling sorry for myself over something I have control over.
It can get really lonely with no friends, i still have my one bestfriend in my life and my mother who I talk to often so it's not that lonely for me but since i have lost a lot of friends due to them being either totally fake or just growing away from each other it's hard getting friends irl these days, also with having trust issues it makes it harder for me :/
I would like to have even one friend. I(30) never had a friend in my life. Beside that I never experienced love. Every girl rejected me. I am really lonely. Never had a hug/asked a question/a kiss. Life in that state is hell on earth.
I don't blame you, mate! I have difficulty in making friends because of my autism! It's more common than you think, so don't worry, you're not alone! :)
Thanks for sharing. For me it boils down to trust and an energy exchange. I absorb energies, good and bad. If I find that I feel drained and worse off than I did before being around a person, that usually tells me that I need to make things short and distance myself lol And that’s not even shade towards that person! It’s like “you’ve chosen your energy to be this, and that ain’t for me”. I’m learning that it’s ok to verbalize boundaries and to be honest with myself about what I want out of friendships. There’s nothing wrong with making a judgement call to preserve your energy.
I’ve never been good at keeping friends which is why now, in my early 30’s, I’m almost friendless apart from two long-time friends I see maybe once every 2 months and (since June) a girlfriend I see once a week. I enjoy spending time by myself and I’m NEVER bored but having a very outgoing and social girlfriend who has lots of friends has made me feel a little weird about being so alone. What has helped me though is learning about attachment theory; Thais Gibson has excellent videos on the topic. I’m a Dismissive Avoidant in friendships (and Fearful Avoidant leaning Anxious in serious romantic relationships) which means that I need a lot of space and tend to keep people at arm’s length out of deep-rooted fears, shame, etc. I also get bad social anxiety when in groups larger than 3 people. Understanding that I’m DA/FA has made me realise that I’ve hurt a lot of (potential) friends with my unconscious behaviours, and I’ve hurt myself in the process too. I’ve burnt a lot of bridges and I can’t take that back but at least I can be mindful of my behaviour in the future.
Same. After college all my friends moved out of state for work or got married and then moved away.. I'm lonely. I need a girlfriend but I'm afraid she will have a vibrant social life and be weirded out that I have like no friends I hang out with, I text or play video games with some friends but that's it.
I’ve been subscribed to this channel since I was in 7th grade , I am now in my second term of college and this channel still is the one that manages to relax me and make me feel the most related too 💯🥺 pls don’t ever stop 💯🧡💛💚💙💜❤️
It's very kind from you to share your thoughts on this :) and your whispering 😴 I still feel shame not having friends anymore irl, but like you said, unconsciously it's a decision. I used to put so much energy, to try to keep old frienship, look for people's approval, getting too attached, maybe i got tired and it kind of ruined my selfconfidence. Now I just try to work and improve myself and i'll see 🤷♀️
I can relate to this a lot. I think over time I learned to focus on loving myself, instead of seeking love from others. I think friends are great but sometimes it’s hard to mesh my needs with their needs? I usually keep acquaintances, although I really do care about them from afar. As long as you love and accept yourself, that’s the most important💕
I definitely do the same thing. When I realized this I went into trying to change it mode- only to realize it was something I couldn’t change. I definitely have been trying to learn more about these behaviors and create awareness in myself. Thank you so much for your honesty- I guess I’m not alone! ✨⭐️✨
I have a friend that cut off all her other friends and is in a toxic relationship. She always comes to me and says she needs to make more friends, saying she's ugly and fat and no matter what I tell her it never seems like enough. I'm her only friend but there's times where she tries sabotaging our friendship. I don't know if its bc of her boyfriend, or if its unresolved problems she has with herself. I don't know what to do, I want to help her but I find myself being drained mentally whenever I do try. Its confusing because she pushed everyone else away except for me and tells me all her problems, asks for help but then will do things to sabotage our friendship. I don't know what to do at all.
Yes she reminds me of... well me lol. It’s very difficult for people like this to cope with the idea of a friend and accept it into their life. It is what it is. Everyone’s different and has a past. When you are silent that is when you will see who is meant to be in your life and sometimes it’s no one at all and that’s ok... god is teaching us something in that silence.
@@ASMRer I have no problem being alone, I actually like it at times. She says she hates being alone and wants friends but has gone out of her way to isolate herself. I think she needs to hear your experience and reflect on her own relationships. Thanks for your response Tony💕
I’ve been watching you videos from the beginning and I’m just really proud of how much you’ve grown over the years. I feel you’ve really become the person you wanted to be all along ❤️
Tony, you are not alone. A lot of us struggle with maintaining friendship. We are all just trying to make sense of the world and want to be loved. We all make mistakes and we are all flawed. The good thing is you are self-introspecting and trying to be better. I too have pushed people away and Don't have any friends anymore. Maybe in future I'll be able to find good friends and enjoy life. Also, I consider you a friend. Whenever I am feeling down or want to talk to someone, I just watch your videos and listen to you talk about your life.
Hi Tony. It seems we r similar. I push people away too. I dont trust easily. Thank you for sharing. This is a great video. Whats that purple thing you smoking?. Your new mics awesome btw 💜
I feel like this is the best explanation I’ve heard about loving and comforting yourself. I really appreciated the perspective of the peace it brings you since “nothing feels like it needs fixing or resolving.” As someone who is trying to grow and become a better person, I feel like I tend to approach myself like a problem and I do that in therapy all the time. Thank you for reminding me in a very unique and articulate way that I need to accept all parts of myself!
I felt like you were describing me to a T. I completely get it. I can relate to every scenario you just described. I truly thought I was the only one that felt this way.
I think it's the Scorpio rising. I am so much the same way. I have one best friend. It took a long time to trust. I always wondered what the person wanted from me. What was their motive. Thank you for sharing ❤️
About why you do it: you have a pattern from your past that you are reliving or trying to fix. Sure your therapist has suggested something like this ☺️ You are a great interesting person!
@@cait3 Not sure what you mean by that. But an example is that for example if someone had an emotionally detached dad who left them, they seek similar partners and then either deep down are used to re living the same conflict (person leaving) or then they always try to fix it. The correct approach would be to find people who are not emotionally detached and eager to leave.
I feel you, I have trust issues mainly caused by friends who backstabbed me in the past and I find it difficult to make new friends because of this. I'll always be nice to people but it's really hard for me to be myself unless I trust you. I know alot of people can relate to this, especially with social media nowadays I think it makes people alot less social which is ironic. I feel like people don't meet people naturally anymore... it's either through DMs or tinder ☹ people used to be really friendly and make small talk with strangers but I dont see it much anymore.
We are your friends ♥️ I have only a few friends and always feel like I tend to care or put in more effort than most so I don’t bother 😅 I also really don’t like that feeling of being judged and it’s hard to find people I vibe with in Florida ( as a NYer ) I’m sure you know what I mean ♥️
I don’t have friends by choice either. Too busy working , kids, pets etc. I prefer being alone with my kids and dogs to be honest. I relish coming home and being alone . I really feel this video. Glad I’m not the only one like this.
Every time when I'm watching ASMR: "Oh no, I'm falling asleep and I'll miss it!" ... "Oh wait I'm supposed to fall asleep, that's why I turned it on..."
I move people with strong intuition tend to be alone because they feel when someone isn’t being sincere. I’ve had the same problems in my social circle
Well any kind of human relationship needs to be maintained, i personally suck at staying in touch and with alot of drama that happened cause of toxic friends I had it kinda lowered on my priority list as in, i don't use it as my main income of fulfillment. I have one best friend who I've known for like 10 years that I keep close, i have my family, SO and they give me alot of happiness in life already
I find that I'm like this with relationships. It's soo bad. Im a 20 year old girl/woman btw. I was talking to this boy since the start of the pandemic and throughout the entire period, I would think "how long until he realises that I'm a phony" and with time I realised he genuinely liked me so I thought "okay maybe it's time I reveal it to him" and I started sabotaging everything. I'd act embarrassing, say dumb stuff, play mind games, disappear from a month at a time. I have love for him, I'm attracted to him physically. I have been ghosting and ignoring his calls for the past 4 days Edit: still I find myself asking why he likes me and I even lose respect for him for liking ME
Hey Tony!!😊😊 It's been a while since I commented on your videos. I GREATLY APPRECIATE you sharing your thoughts & current life decision. You've enlightened me on certain life decisions I should take. Also, can you list what equipment, background screen, camera, lighting & microphone set are you using? EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL & I'M LOVING IT!! 😊 I hope to hear from you soon!!
Friendships are a two-way street which is pretty much why my friend pool is 3 people TOPS lmao. It's so hard to trust a bunch of people with that energy and effort
Yes it’s so much work omg
@@ASMRer it's worth it though imo and you will always have us tony ❤❤❤ you've been such a kind soul all these years
Hopefully you find many who give your life peace ❤
I love how he talks about how YOU make your decisions and YOU always have a choice in the matter, this motivates me to stop feeling sorry for myself over something I have control over.
Lets just appreciate the fact that he wills to discuss his own personal problems with us, strangers on the inernet.
it’s honestly so empowering
It can get really lonely with no friends, i still have my one bestfriend in my life and my mother who I talk to often so it's not that lonely for me but since i have lost a lot of friends due to them being either totally fake or just growing away from each other it's hard getting friends irl these days, also with having trust issues it makes it harder for me :/
Same
I would like to have even one friend.
I(30) never had a friend in my life. Beside that I never experienced love. Every girl rejected me. I am really lonely. Never had a hug/asked a question/a kiss. Life in that state is hell on earth.
I don't blame you, mate! I have difficulty in making friends because of my autism! It's more common than you think, so don't worry, you're not alone! :)
Same!
hey just wanted to pass by nd tell u that ur amazing and loved ☺️☺️
@@neelemio agree
My mom works at a school and she works in a class with autistic kids !
It's hard when you actively try with people and they don't give you the same energy back
Thanks for sharing. For me it boils down to trust and an energy exchange. I absorb energies, good and bad. If I find that I feel drained and worse off than I did before being around a person, that usually tells me that I need to make things short and distance myself lol And that’s not even shade towards that person! It’s like “you’ve chosen your energy to be this, and that ain’t for me”. I’m learning that it’s ok to verbalize boundaries and to be honest with myself about what I want out of friendships. There’s nothing wrong with making a judgement call to preserve your energy.
It’s so hard to make real friends anyway.
Ikr its so many fake ppl
We are your friends 💖💖💖
Aw yes
@@ASMRer Yes 😘!!!
Yes he will always have us
Yes
I’ve never been good at keeping friends which is why now, in my early 30’s, I’m almost friendless apart from two long-time friends I see maybe once every 2 months and (since June) a girlfriend I see once a week. I enjoy spending time by myself and I’m NEVER bored but having a very outgoing and social girlfriend who has lots of friends has made me feel a little weird about being so alone. What has helped me though is learning about attachment theory; Thais Gibson has excellent videos on the topic. I’m a Dismissive Avoidant in friendships (and Fearful Avoidant leaning Anxious in serious romantic relationships) which means that I need a lot of space and tend to keep people at arm’s length out of deep-rooted fears, shame, etc. I also get bad social anxiety when in groups larger than 3 people. Understanding that I’m DA/FA has made me realise that I’ve hurt a lot of (potential) friends with my unconscious behaviours, and I’ve hurt myself in the process too. I’ve burnt a lot of bridges and I can’t take that back but at least I can be mindful of my behaviour in the future.
Yes you remind me so much of myself for sure. I can feel the pain when you say burn the bridge. Definitely a pattern we do...
I haven’t had any friends for nearly ten years.......my own fault
Oh wow well if you don’t mind it then nothing wrong with that!
@@ASMRer exactly.
I can relate to all of this. I'm still happy without friends.
Same. After college all my friends moved out of state for work or got married and then moved away.. I'm lonely. I need a girlfriend but I'm afraid she will have a vibrant social life and be weirded out that I have like no friends I hang out with, I text or play video games with some friends but that's it.
@@B3_6 some women liked that .you just need to find one
I’ve been subscribed to this channel since I was in 7th grade , I am now in my second term of college and this channel still is the one that manages to relax me and make me feel the most related too 💯🥺 pls don’t ever stop 💯🧡💛💚💙💜❤️
Tony I'mYourFriendOni🥺🥺❤
I've watched you grow so much over the years. Keep yourself in the flow...you're doing great!
Hearing someone speak openly and honestly is always amazing, and when it's THIS tingly...🤤
Love the awareness in this video and the clarity with which he speaks about ego. This man knows himself!
It's very kind from you to share your thoughts on this :) and your whispering 😴
I still feel shame not having friends anymore irl, but like you said, unconsciously it's a decision. I used to put so much energy, to try to keep old frienship, look for people's approval, getting too attached, maybe i got tired and it kind of ruined my selfconfidence. Now I just try to work and improve myself and i'll see 🤷♀️
I'm very careful about who I allow in my life. Tony you are wrong you do have friends, you just haven't met us yet 🤗
I remember when you first started out. I'm so sorry things haven't gone your way. I hope things start looking up for you. Cheers.
Your vulnerability is refreshing. Thank you for sharing ❤️🙏🏾
I can relate to this a lot. I think over time I learned to focus on loving myself, instead of seeking love from others. I think friends are great but sometimes it’s hard to mesh my needs with their needs? I usually keep acquaintances, although I really do care about them from afar. As long as you love and accept yourself, that’s the most important💕
You definitely have BPD. I have it and you basically described me. Lmfaooooo. 😭🤣
Thanks for watching
I definitely do the same thing. When I realized this I went into trying to change it mode- only to realize it was something I couldn’t change. I definitely have been trying to learn more about these behaviors and create awareness in myself. Thank you so much for your honesty- I guess I’m not alone! ✨⭐️✨
I had friends but they all dropped me because of stupid rumors. People are so immature and fake. You described my life tho
❤️❤️❤️
I have a friend that cut off all her other friends and is in a toxic relationship. She always comes to me and says she needs to make more friends, saying she's ugly and fat and no matter what I tell her it never seems like enough. I'm her only friend but there's times where she tries sabotaging our friendship. I don't know if its bc of her boyfriend, or if its unresolved problems she has with herself. I don't know what to do, I want to help her but I find myself being drained mentally whenever I do try.
Its confusing because she pushed everyone else away except for me and tells me all her problems, asks for help but then will do things to sabotage our friendship. I don't know what to do at all.
Yes she reminds me of... well me lol. It’s very difficult for people like this to cope with the idea of a friend and accept it into their life. It is what it is. Everyone’s different and has a past. When you are silent that is when you will see who is meant to be in your life and sometimes it’s no one at all and that’s ok... god is teaching us something in that silence.
@@ASMRer I have no problem being alone, I actually like it at times. She says she hates being alone and wants friends but has gone out of her way to isolate herself. I think she needs to hear your experience and reflect on her own relationships. Thanks for your response Tony💕
I’ve been watching you videos from the beginning and I’m just really proud of how much you’ve grown over the years. I feel you’ve really become the person you wanted to be all along ❤️
I had a group and I realised who needed enemy's when I had those friends, so I stopped and now Iv 2 best friends and I generally prefer animals ❤️
Exactly!
Aww I would like to be your friend. ❤️☺️
😁
Tony, you are not alone. A lot of us struggle with maintaining friendship. We are all just trying to make sense of the world and want to be loved. We all make mistakes and we are all flawed. The good thing is you are self-introspecting and trying to be better. I too have pushed people away and Don't have any friends anymore. Maybe in future I'll be able to find good friends and enjoy life.
Also, I consider you a friend. Whenever I am feeling down or want to talk to someone, I just watch your videos and listen to you talk about your life.
This is so relaxing
Thank yewwww
Take a lot of courage to admit to ones own flaws and to be open about who they truly are 🤍 you will be okay as long as y stay true to yr self.
Tony i would love to be your friend, you seem so chill and easy to talk to! 😇
This video reminds me of your old videos. Soda, monq, and a old fashioned ramble
Hi Tony. It seems we r similar. I push people away too. I dont trust easily. Thank you for sharing. This is a great video. Whats that purple thing you smoking?. Your new mics awesome btw 💜
Monq essential oil vapes :) he has a discount code for them if you go back to his video on it 💜 looks yummy
@@Zav369 cooel thanks hun. Will check it out. Gotta give up the cigs they look like a good alternative. 👍✌💚
LMAO it would take me so long to explain why i don’t
That is why god gave us pets. No need for people.
I love this comment! 🐶❤
@What you talkin about Willis ? He is my 9 year old bichon frise
Now I really want to be friends with you
Couldn't agree more ☑
*It doesn’t matter what you say or do, everything is just super tingly* 😌🌟✨
I feel like this is the best explanation I’ve heard about loving and comforting yourself. I really appreciated the perspective of the peace it brings you since “nothing feels like it needs fixing or resolving.” As someone who is trying to grow and become a better person, I feel like I tend to approach myself like a problem and I do that in therapy all the time. Thank you for reminding me in a very unique and articulate way that I need to accept all parts of myself!
It’s so important
Revisiting old videos. I really love the sound on this one!
This is making me feel so much comfort tonight
I felt like you were describing me to a T. I completely get it. I can relate to every scenario you just described. I truly thought I was the only one that felt this way.
I think it's the Scorpio rising. I am so much the same way. I have one best friend. It took a long time to trust. I always wondered what the person wanted from me. What was their motive. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Ah now this makes more sense...
I love listening to asmr, but I love making it even more. Great video!
About why you do it: you have a pattern from your past that you are reliving or trying to fix. Sure your therapist has suggested something like this ☺️ You are a great interesting person!
like limbo?
@@cait3 Not sure what you mean by that. But an example is that for example if someone had an emotionally detached dad who left them, they seek similar partners and then either deep down are used to re living the same conflict (person leaving) or then they always try to fix it. The correct approach would be to find people who are not emotionally detached and eager to leave.
Love love this new Tony
!! I have been watching since the beginning!💜🙏💜
You just have to stretch your hands and you will find friends. Friendship is a relationship with no conditions , no complains and no regrets.
I feel you, I have trust issues mainly caused by friends who backstabbed me in the past and I find it difficult to make new friends because of this.
I'll always be nice to people but it's really hard for me to be myself unless I trust you. I know alot of people can relate to this, especially with social media nowadays I think it makes people alot less social which is ironic. I feel like people don't meet people naturally anymore... it's either through DMs or tinder ☹ people used to be really friendly and make small talk with strangers but I dont see it much anymore.
We are your friends ♥️ I have only a few friends and always feel like I tend to care or put in more effort than most so I don’t bother 😅 I also really don’t like that feeling of being judged and it’s hard to find people I vibe with in Florida ( as a NYer ) I’m sure you know what I mean ♥️
I don’t have friends by choice either. Too busy working , kids, pets etc. I prefer being alone with my kids and dogs to be honest. I relish coming home and being alone . I really feel this video. Glad I’m not the only one like this.
you would be a great friend and we’re here for you!! 💕
I can literally say Tony Bomboni for hours. I'm your friend, we all are.
Every time when I'm watching ASMR:
"Oh no, I'm falling asleep and I'll miss it!" ...
"Oh wait I'm supposed to fall asleep, that's why I turned it on..."
I relate to this to the extreme.
@@the5kyraven517 i feel you,bro)
I move people with strong intuition tend to be alone because they feel when someone isn’t being sincere. I’ve had the same problems in my social circle
I subscribed after watching. You're amazing , thanks for making videos.😇
MOOD.
I saw the title and was like damn...me too boo boo:(
Great reading! 💓💓
Wait what is that cigarette thing
I have BPD and this is so ME
I'm your online friend! You have all my support ❤❤🤗
Tony just love yourself, Mom,brother and of course Paco buddy
Terrific asmr, love the whispers. Liked and subbed, new friend here 😊
I relate too much to relax haha. This life shit is hard damn it.
Well any kind of human relationship needs to be maintained, i personally suck at staying in touch and with alot of drama that happened cause of toxic friends I had it kinda lowered on my priority list as in, i don't use it as my main income of fulfillment. I have one best friend who I've known for like 10 years that I keep close, i have my family, SO and they give me alot of happiness in life already
We love you Tony.
I dont know if the background is fake, it looks so real !! Its a really beautiful bonsai tree. Great Job !!!
It’s faker than my friendships
@@ASMRer 😂❤️
But tony we are your friends we hear you we love you thanks cause I have these same feelings but felt good hearing it make me wanna get better
I understand completely sending you love from your virtual friend 😊
I ain’t never seen two pretty best friends I
I laughed so hard when you “rebuked in the name of Jesus” 😂😂😂😂
Awwww, you have friends you haven’t even met yet. ♥️🕊🙏🙋♀️
I sooooo INNER/OVERSTAND what you have said. 🙆💙💜💙😍
love your videos soo much
I have no friends too, I understand u
I don't like needy people. I don't mind people needing me but at some point if it gets to be too much I want out.
Yeah
I find that I'm like this with relationships. It's soo bad. Im a 20 year old girl/woman btw. I was talking to this boy since the start of the pandemic and throughout the entire period, I would think "how long until he realises that I'm a phony" and with time I realised he genuinely liked me so I thought "okay maybe it's time I reveal it to him" and I started sabotaging everything. I'd act embarrassing, say dumb stuff, play mind games, disappear from a month at a time. I have love for him, I'm attracted to him physically. I have been ghosting and ignoring his calls for the past 4 days
Edit: still I find myself asking why he likes me and I even lose respect for him for liking ME
I only got 1 friend to be real
who needs friends when you have us 💚💚💚
Hey Tony!!😊😊 It's been a while since I commented on your videos. I GREATLY APPRECIATE you sharing your thoughts & current life decision. You've enlightened me on certain life decisions I should take. Also, can you list what equipment, background screen, camera, lighting & microphone set are you using? EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL & I'M LOVING IT!! 😊 I hope to hear from you soon!!
In my opinion I don’t need friends there’s no such thing as friends they are a made up thing they end up being fake in the end.
I have some good friends and I love them but in a new town meeting new people is so hard for me
Right with you ❤️
I have no friends (by choice). I just need my family
I truly have no friends either my mom and my sisters, family, my Boyfriend his family and a couple others that's it.
Same all I have is my bf and his family and my family.
I wish I could tell you Who/WHAT I AM..Give This Earth School experience a chance. KEEP LIVING
Yikes im like that friend. Sandly not a choice its bc of social anxiety and i dont leave my house 🤦🏿♀️
What’s your sign? Curious. Also thank you for opening up. I relate so. Soooo much
Sun virgo, rising Scorpio, moon Capricorn
aww tony i know how it is i have left alot of people out my life :) awww you can be my friend :)
Sweetheart you make my nights better. To me, you are my friend.
Same
Lol welcome to the club
Early for the first time ever heyyyy tonyyyyy❤️
Your story is so similar to mine😕
Girl me too, just cut them all of yesterday lol
dabi pfp
It izzz what it izzz
I dont have any friends either:(
26 is so young, you can change things IF you want, but no need to want it if that is how you feel 😊
The realest people have no friends-tupac
I’d be glad to be pen-pals. You seem like a nice person. :)
What brand vape pen is that ? I want to try it lol
Look at the description, the 1st link at the top
It is not a vape stick but an aroma therapy diffuser you inhale . Link in description box