Thank you Dr Talbot. This is one of the best sessions I’ve come across in my studying of workplace bullying being a target myself and even taking inventory of anything I’m doing that I may be seen as a bully. But my bully has never been addressed. 29:38 this resonates as I’ve moved to escape my perpetrator, things were fine, perpetrator takes oversight of where I escaped to, and turmoil arises again, necessitating another move. Idk the details on Sheila’s case, but worth pausing and ensuring there is a third party evaluation to corroborate what is being reported about that individual particularly if it’s coming from one source who you feel is your best, most honest manager. Also, understanding that within management are sub levels of management and as you go down the ladder, those managers who understand that that which is being a ledge by the target is fictional, may find themselves changing and aligning with the fictitious narrative. If the oversight changes . And recognizing that coworkers may be scared to deny whatever narrative of the lesser power (than the mgr) employee out of self preservation as inherently, there is a bias towards management, and should somebody “side” with the target, and nothing happens to the management, well can guess what what happened to the person who tried siding with the target that was eventually pushed out. It’s been interesting and heartbreaking seeing each step falling into place as in the literature. Unfortunately, while we may have cognitive awareness of a process, and the things that are to ensue, the emotional and subconscious responses are shielded and occur just as painfully as without cognitive awareness imho
Ops I just listen to the part where you said, needs to take the person in the side, and have a conversation. In my case, there has been several set aside from leader ship, but it became pretty obvious that no one in leadership had went in to investigate, (actually one had & reported everything was fine but the others went off the word of the bully). I guess it would be really having someone whom is a completely neutral party that is funded by may be a state agency, or some thing that there is no potential for bias to do the deep dive. Not to bring politics into the mix, but it became very evident with our previous presidents in the United States. That psychology plays an enormous role in conscious thought and when people joke “thinking is hard” in scenarios, such as these which are heavily predicated on psychology, thinking is hard because you have to take a step back and look at any unconscious bias that is coming into how you were responding to the situation.
This is about bending over backwards for the perpetrator. What about the poor target, who has had their health wrecked, self confidence shattered, and often ends up leaving their job? Shouldn’t they be offered support and counselling, and to have their complaints properly investigated? Mediation is not appropriate for workplace bullying as the target has been compromised and should not be asked to take part.
Hi Joanne. Thanks for your comment, Great to have you engage with our webinar. Couple of quotes from the webinar that might relate to your concerns: at 7.00 there is a comment about 'zero-tolerance' of bullying, and under such an approach perpetrators would very much get the message, 'we're not going to put up with this' (7:06). Targets definitely need the organisation's attention and care (8:37), especially for the organisation to investigate quickly and take very seriously any allegations they receive. And part of the duty of care (8:40) would normally be to provide support for targets, which would come in the form of counselling but also through mechanisms such as 'Freedom to Speak Up' which ensure that the target has a voice. The figures at the start of the piece reinforce the devastating impact of bullying and I can't find any part where it suggests we pander to perpetrators or let them off the hook for inexcusable behaviour that is not going to change. Targets/victims of such bad behaviours are indeed often impacted quite profoundly and in 25 years of doing this work we have seen many unfortunate cases where, as you say, people's lives are changed. So I don't think that any reasonable response would include ignoring or minimising this impact. In our work, many targets have welcomed, indeed relished, the opportunity to get in front of the bully and tell him/her what impact their conduct has had on them. Mediation is a unique environment in which perpetrators can be brought to task and be required to hear from their victims. It is an option that is there if people want it. But no, expecting victims to take part if they do not willingly elect to do so would be really inappropriate, possibly illegal, and I don't know of any reputable mediation provider who would do that. Thanks again for your thoughts. Good to hear from you.
I’m so sorry that happened to you I can relate. Targets tend to be the highest performers, which I think makes it the most mind baffling scenario to be in.
Mostly few toxic bosses toxic clients few toxic sacristic talking coworkers created dirty workplace. I am experience such nasty bullying scariest dirty working environments at moment as well.
Thank you Dr Talbot. This is one of the best sessions I’ve come across in my studying of workplace bullying being a target myself and even taking inventory of anything I’m doing that I may be seen as a bully. But my bully has never been addressed. 29:38 this resonates as I’ve moved to escape my perpetrator, things were fine, perpetrator takes oversight of where I escaped to, and turmoil arises again, necessitating another move. Idk the details on Sheila’s case, but worth pausing and ensuring there is a third party evaluation to corroborate what is being reported about that individual particularly if it’s coming from one source who you feel is your best, most honest manager. Also, understanding that within management are sub levels of management and as you go down the ladder, those managers who understand that that which is being a ledge by the target is fictional, may find themselves changing and aligning with the fictitious narrative. If the oversight changes . And recognizing that coworkers may be scared to deny whatever narrative of the lesser power (than the mgr) employee out of self preservation as inherently, there is a bias towards management, and should somebody “side” with the target, and nothing happens to the management, well can guess what what happened to the person who tried siding with the target that was eventually pushed out.
It’s been interesting and heartbreaking seeing each step falling into place as in the literature. Unfortunately, while we may have cognitive awareness of a process, and the things that are to ensue, the emotional and subconscious responses are shielded and occur just as painfully as without cognitive awareness imho
Ops I just listen to the part where you said, needs to take the person in the side, and have a conversation. In my case, there has been several set aside from leader ship, but it became pretty obvious that no one in leadership had went in to investigate, (actually one had & reported everything was fine but the others went off the word of the bully).
I guess it would be really having someone whom is a completely neutral party that is funded by may be a state agency, or some thing that there is no potential for bias to do the deep dive. Not to bring politics into the mix, but it became very evident with our previous presidents in the United States. That psychology plays an enormous role in conscious thought and when people joke “thinking is hard” in scenarios, such as these which are heavily predicated on psychology, thinking is hard because you have to take a step back and look at any unconscious bias that is coming into how you were responding to the situation.
This is about bending over backwards for the perpetrator. What about the poor target, who has had their health wrecked, self confidence shattered, and often ends up leaving their job? Shouldn’t they be offered support and counselling, and to have their complaints properly investigated? Mediation is not appropriate for workplace bullying as the target has been compromised and should not be asked to take part.
Hi Joanne. Thanks for your comment, Great to have you engage with our webinar. Couple of quotes from the webinar that might relate to your concerns: at 7.00 there is a comment about 'zero-tolerance' of bullying, and under such an approach perpetrators would very much get the message, 'we're not going to put up with this' (7:06). Targets definitely need the organisation's attention and care (8:37), especially for the organisation to investigate quickly and take very seriously any allegations they receive. And part of the duty of care (8:40) would normally be to provide support for targets, which would come in the form of counselling but also through mechanisms such as 'Freedom to Speak Up' which ensure that the target has a voice.
The figures at the start of the piece reinforce the devastating impact of bullying and I can't find any part where it suggests we pander to perpetrators or let them off the hook for inexcusable behaviour that is not going to change. Targets/victims of such bad behaviours are indeed often impacted quite profoundly and in 25 years of doing this work we have seen many unfortunate cases where, as you say, people's lives are changed. So I don't think that any reasonable response would include ignoring or minimising this impact.
In our work, many targets have welcomed, indeed relished, the opportunity to get in front of the bully and tell him/her what impact their conduct has had on them. Mediation is a unique environment in which perpetrators can be brought to task and be required to hear from their victims. It is an option that is there if people want it. But no, expecting victims to take part if they do not willingly elect to do so would be really inappropriate, possibly illegal, and I don't know of any reputable mediation provider who would do that.
Thanks again for your thoughts. Good to hear from you.
I’m so sorry that happened to you I can relate. Targets tend to be the highest performers, which I think makes it the most mind baffling scenario to be in.
Mostly few toxic bosses toxic clients few toxic sacristic talking coworkers created dirty workplace.
I am experience such nasty bullying scariest dirty
working environments at moment as well.