Yeah. Ultrasound scans and knowing the sex in advance is not an "old country" thing. It's a very modern invention. I'm curious as to how they maintained the tradition of the first born being a son. Keep your pregnancies quiet until after birth and quietly get rid of the girls until you bear a son? I know there are a few countries where that is or was the done thing.
Story 1:The husband is doing just what he's supposed to, leaving his parents and cleaving to his wife. It's always possible to hold a second wedding ceremony later. It's fun to see the overbearing mother lose it when her son isn't a Mama's boy and won't be pushed around.
News flash, Mommy Dearest: Your son is not a child anymore. He is a full grown adult who is more than capable of making his own decisions in his life and that includes who he wants to marry and live his life. And don't you dare throw around the whole "I gave birth to you and your father and I raised you, so you owe us" crap. Your son don't owe you Jack Sugar-Honey-Ice-Tea for you doing the bear minimum!! No person should ever live their lives how their parents want them to, especially as a way to "pay them back" for everything they've done for them. No sacrifice is ever good enough to justify controlling your own children's lives.
Op is waving a lot of red flags in the post. Everything is about OP,OP and OP. Op- Everyone should worship me, Only my feeling matter. People being uncomfortable doesn't matter and etc. They just meet her in the same breath of - we are getting married. I wonder why they are not supportive /s.
What kind of a mother lets anyone call her daughter a bitch? I would say a very poor excuse for a mother. She would rather have an abusive man around, then no man at all, think again woman.
I know what you mean, I took sex ed AND human anatomy but the man does not DECIDE anything. Its basically RANDOM. By the way, and I am being VERY hypothetical, even IF they could choose the gender, who are they to say that a boy is MORE important than a girl? Even IF they could choose at will and had chosen a girl what would be wrong with that???
I'm so annoyed with the story 2 commener who said YTA. She handled things extremely well in a very difficult situation. OP deserves HUGE credit, not approbation.
Kinda expected him to somehow legally emancipat from his family. Then tell mil she doesn't have to worry about what their grandkid is since he's no longer their son so they'll never have any grandkids.
No one is worth betraying you sibling. I don't care if he is into you too. He was you SISTER's Partner, and it sounds like you have a good relationship with her, so stand by her. It doesn't matter if they are together or not stay away!!!!!!!!!!!!
He needs to tell the sister though, she shouldn't be marrying this man, even if she doesn't marry him, u two becoming an item would destroy your relationship with your sister, tell her and stay away from him.
No while he good for not getting with somone in a relationship no one hasna right to another if they broke up its fair game to say otherwise is incredibly dehumabising
As sister's partner is already admittedly bisexual, and has romantic feelings for OP, there's a LOT to unpack in the relationship. Some premarital counseling seems called for, especially as he sounds lukewarm about marrying OP's sister in the first place.
It is weird, first of all the male determines the sex of the baby not the female, 2nd u are literally as a woman putting yourself down by believing this, if females aren't worthy what does that say about MIL?? Countries that do this must have a male to female ratio of like 10:2 , who's giving u grandchildren now?? Nobody cause they literally can't find a wife.
Just wondering if Tom is being abusive. He sounds like someone who insists on having everything his way at all times. If I were OP, I'd have asked Tom if he's ever heard of this stuff called "ice."
I wonder if Tom is abusive to your mom... every time she sends you a picture of Scrooge, grinch, etc... send her a picture of Johnny from The Shinning played by Jack Nicholson. Alternate this with pictures of other villains: Bill Sikes & Mr. Limbkins from Oliver Twist & any other cruel person that you know your mom may recognize.
She brought it on herself. And FIL should have stood up and told her to shut her mouth! He loses his only grandchild and child out of his life because of her loud mouth!
Story 1, love how MiL is upset and horrified that it's a daughter when her son was hoping for a daughter. Given horrid she is I'm not surprised that she had the audacity to demand her son divorce op because they had a girl. Unfortunately there are people that STILL think men are superior to women and it doesn't make sense to me either. Specially when today, women own HUGE industries and are leaders in the white house. Best interests my ass, she only cares about having a grandson, is ignoring that her son wanted a girl, and blames op. The witch definitely celebrated too early. I love op's husband for what he did. Not surprised that the witch was in denial and couldn't believe that her son wasn't obeying her and was cutting her out of his life. She brought that on herself and not surprised that she threw a huge tantrum like a child. I agree that MiL is very toxic and I think she's also using religion to get her way.
Considering Transwomen (some of them) believe that they are superior to Terfs (biological women) the believe that men are superior to women isn't easyly overthrown..
When someone fall in love over traumatic event… usually eventually it fails… see a therapist and it’s misplaced affection…. Like when patients fall for their nurses and such
First story: As a parting shot, the husband should let his mother know that genetically, it is the father's contribution that determines the sex. OP not "giving" him a son is nonsense and a biological impssibility.
100% agree. "You can't help what you feel :(" that's mostly bullshit but even if it weren't you can manage that shit. He didn't have to come clean about anything but he chose to and they can apparently be honest to each other but not with his sister? That's an emotional affair. They have their little secret now, a fantasy they can indulge in, isn't it all so deliciously dramatic? Scum. The biggest AH is the fiance for apparently not wanting to marry this woman but going along with this shit because... it would be awkward to break up? That's bullshit, he does want to marry her, he just also wants her brother around and is feeding him a bullshit excuse to keep this secret romance of theirs going. They both suck so fucking hard. His sister deserves better from both of them. If I ever started developing feelings for a siblings SO I would NEVER give that shit any oxygen which is exactly what OP did by bringing it up. I would KILL that feeling by any means and anyone who says you can't do that is a fucking liar and/or a weakling. He gave it fuel instead of smothering it and distancing himself which was the responsible thing to do. He doesn't owe that dude an explanation for distancing himself, he had no reason to be around him all the time anymore, and even if he did he couldn't think of a lie? I'm calling bullshit on the whole thing. OP is trash.
If a person is HETEROSEXUAL themselves and marries someone who they KNOW is NOT a heterosexual then the burden of risk is on them and if anything bad happens as a result (like a same gender affair) I won't feel any sympathy for the heterosexual member of the relationship.
When you marry you mix cultures and they’re different you don’t just pick one and less but people are OK with it and you should be able to wear whatever you want at your wedding. I’m sorry you could not have your dream.
Last story I’d never let someone talked to my daughter like that. Tom was immature & mom wasn’t being a mom. No telling how many times he’s been abusive to her & u don’t know about it.
There are plenty of situations where kids get abused but the parents don't abuse each other. This "poor thing is probably being abused" narrative is absurd.
Awe boo woo so the baby is a girl .. yaaaah but I pray that the mommy will make a good delivery. Any anything could take her or the Botha life damn peeps be happy it’s a baby mil go to ,, never mind it’s not worth it
Story 3: NTA, but your step-dad is a total Jackass. And his emotional abuse is something your mother is tolerating, and expecting you to tolerate it too. She's an enabler to his emotional abuse. Any woman who does that deserves what she gets.
I hate the mother MORE, that is right EVEN MORE than the guy. A mother's duty to protect and nurture their child takes precedence over almost anything and that includes kowtowing to a stupid and abusive @$$H0L3 boyfriend. Maybe it's wrong to say ANYONE deserves abuse but when he turns his abuse on HER she will have brought it on herself. Calling her own daughter a bitch is what I call a PURPLE FLAG.
last story, if anyone asks at the Christmas party why mother is not there, tell them the truth, don't hold back anything because otherwise she will later lie to protect that crappy husband. Guy sounds like an abuser and people need to be aware of this so they can watch out for it in case it gets worse. OP will not be protecting her mother if she keeps this dispute a secret.
Why does the second story have to be so complicated? You have a crush, said person is spoken for, so you don't act on those feelings? How hard can it be to not throw yourself at someone?
Reminds me at the story My grandma told me after My Grandpa died a guy came around to have a relationship lol My grandma told him that he would Never survive it with her boys both My uncle And My dad where in They late teen Years 😂😂😂 guy Never came back after
Mom had nothing to do with the Tom rift? The Pepsis were from Mom's shopping and *she* didn't make sure her pweshous boy's sodas got into the fridge. BooHooo! Time for some extremely low contact with Mom and nc with Tom. And have yourself a quiet, pleasant xmas! 🎄
Story 1 Sex is determined by the man not the women she has absolutely no idea of science,I think your husband should handle his parents and I truly believe your husband is going to put her firmly in her place she deserves absolutely no access to your baby or any future babies she deserves exactly what I amazed your husband has a wonderful shiny spine moving far from them is truly perfect and congratulations
the last story? L O L Well, did your mother have to go shopping because she let the supply of *_cold Pepsi_* get down to zero? Did she buy any other groceries? Wasn't there a trey of ice cubes in the refigerator? I would have gotten the tallest glass, filled it with ice and poured in some Pepsi and said "Here, pretend you're at McDonalds."
Story 1. Commenters are pathetic. At no point did the start say that he was actually going through with the plan which he might of hoped would put some fear into them. The internet is full of aholes who just assume and invent 'facts'.
Last story- wow, Tom is nuts....and mom should know better- marrying someone after only 3 months??! She couldn't just get a vibrator??! Ugh, let them be juvenile on their own, she'll come crying back again soon after he dumps her over something completely trivial
I’m not sympathetic to OP. She had multiple opportunities to detach from these vile people and didn’t let her husband execute because she was too invested in being right.
Story 1: I thought the papers would be a RESTRAINING ORDER against the parents. Also, how low can the SELF ESTEEM of the MIL be? She HATES that they are having a GIRL but SHE HERSELF IS FEMALE so if she HATES females so much and ONLY values males than can she even value herself? Also, a married couple never OWE grand children to the parents and inlaws. The audacity of that disgusting old hag to berate them for "taking too long" to have a grand child. If they had wanted they could have chose not to have grand children AT ALL. And if having a grand son is so important maybe their next child will be a son? Did they say they were stopping at one?
Baby gender - I understand if a family has only 1 son in the whole family they would want a male grandchild to pass the name down, to go off on the Dil for having a girl is stupid. The next grandchild could be a boy. Now they have cut their family out of their lives for nothing. OP should make grandparents aware that if they have a son in future he will be given the mother's surname and the rest of the family will be changing their to match.
And they don’t get to see it. Apparently the only care if it’s a son grandparents true grandparents don’t care what the sex is, as long as it’s a healthy baby that’s all that counts
Yo someone seriously needs to explain to me how anyone can find their siblings partner as anything other then alien when it comes to romantic feelings like omfg ewwwwwww hell nah man that's so gross I have two sisters ones gay ones straight and I'm pansexual and I could never ever ever ever EVER see anyone my sisters have been w or is currently w as anything to be interested in that's sooo f*cking gross so please explain to me how is it that I seem to be the weird one for feeling like this
Last story: I suspect Tom won't allow OP's mother to attend if he can't go. No way is a controlling AH like that going to apologise. OP needs to privately talk to her mom in person, ask if she gets the same type of treatment & quietly offer her support if she wants to get away from her husband but feels she can't. If mom doesn't want that, & fully (blindly) supports him, then mom has made her choice, sadly. My guess is "Tom" monitors Mom's communications, & mom is trying the only method she can think of to guilt OP into not isolating her from her family. Suspect any day now OP will be told she's not welcome at Mom's anymore if she doesn't relent (or something similar). It's a weird thing but often the abused will defend or excuse their abusers & sometimes not even recognise abusive behaviour. The AH here is Tom, I am reluctant to blame mom because I think she's probably in a bad situation. She's the frog in the water that's almost boiling & I can't judge if she knows she's about to be frog soup and that it's time to jump out, or just thinks the spa water is getting awfully warm & hopes it will cool down again.
Asking someone to lube the person they love because they had a little girl is ridiculous and very controlling. You’ll never see that got a grandchild and you’ll never see your son again and you caused it all yourself.
Omg. These stories today are disgusting. Last story. You're mom is the issue. Seems like you have normalize these situations. Pathetic woman. Low contact your mom too.
Story 3 You are a adult you watched your mother remarry when you where sixteen and you are now a adult your mother is living with a abusive man he didn't know whether it was you or your mother that left them out he acted in a disgusting behaviour I think she is used to his tantrums your mother should not expect you to accept him into your home he called you axx itch I would be the Grinch and I keep him far away from any children because he has no filter you mother is obviously used to his behaviour
S1 op should ask mil what would have happened if her grandmother had asked her father to divorce her mommy if mil wasn't aborted then and there. and look at her in disgust. people pay far too much respect to those, like mil, who should be swept out of their house like rat droppings. lol. i hope op went nc with the sxxt mil after this. no contact with op's kids.
The first story... It always amazes me that in this time of science, people still just blow past genetics. The male's sperm determines the sex of a baby by either contributing an X chromosome, making the sex female, or a Y chromosome, making the sex male. The woman on!y has X chromosomes to.contribute.
Let mom and Tom stay at home, he is toxic and controlling!! Let them drink warm Coke at home while you enjoy your dinner with people who love and respect you!!
Story 2.... sounds like a fabricated story... OP is a 26m GUY, why would his sister wants him involved in A BRIDAL party which i assume are bridesmaid.... Mix and Mash parts makes a plotline with too many loopholes.
Does the MIL realise that women have XX chromosomes and men have XY chromosomes? Which means that it's the guy who can't give a son. It's wrong to blame the parents for something completely out of their hands. The sperms are an independent entity that cannot be controlled once out
my mom lived through ww2.. and also had friends who had had various careers and were in various parts of the world. I do not know how mom knew this guy and it was before that psychopath mao took over china, but he was on a navy ship and it was stationed on one of china's major rivers... unsure.. but one day he saw a basket with a baby floating by.. I think he still should have done something, but he was stopped by the superior. apparently this was an almost daily occurrence, sometimes several times a day. they were all girl babies. until this species gets over it's 'sacred *****' worship, this will go on.
Final story: How is OP being unfair? She was rudely insulted over not putting Pepsi bottles in the fridge and is just expected to take the insults and allow the person who shows such contempt and disdain for her to attend her Christmas party. Nope, miss me with that noise. If you act like a schoolyard bully and a child then don't be surprised when you get put in time out and suspended from the fun activities. What on Earth precluded this grown man from putting his own Pepsi bottles in the fridge...was he born without hands/arms? Sorry scooter quit being an AH Tom, tuck your misogyny back in there and put your own damn groceries away! OP's mom is also an AH for taking a grown man-baby's side over her child whom he insulted and not kicking his toxic butt to the curb! OP is a million % NTA!!!
Second story. OK OP! Your sister should not marry this man at all because the relationship is doomed. Marriages are a lifelong commitment and even with a lot of love and desire and common interest and shared goal it sometime just doesn't work. But this man is going to marry your sister because he can't give her an explanation of why he can't marry her that isn't--what, embarrassing to him, or doesn't shift the blame to her. It sounds to me like he can't marry your sister because he is not sexually attracted to her, and he is more attracted to men. Hello, this is a thing your sister has to know, from him, to save her and him from a lifetime of pain and hurt. You and this man have strong feelings for each other, and the truth is it really isn't your fault for being who you are and it isn't his fault for being who he is, but it is your and his fault if your sister isn't told the truth. I would think that it is unlikely there will be a romantic future with your sister's boyfriend because there is that stealing sibling's partners thing that seems to be so ingrained in so many of these stories. But just the idea that if you love your sister, she has to know the truth about her boyfriend and his sexuality. That information should come from her boyfriend in a fair world, but it has to come out before she gets to much further into this relationship. Her boyfriend's sexuality isn't going to change and in time he will end up having to cop to it anyway, so better now than 10 years from now when there are kids, and a mortgage. OP, I feel for you bigtime, and I feel bigtime for your sister too. At the moment I even feel for the boyfriend, since I am sure he is in an extremely uncomfortable situation. But if he does not tell your sister the truth, he is a major AH, and you are going to have to bite the bullet and make sure she knows before the wedding. The boyfriend needs to come out of the closet and not put his issues with his sexually ahead of the fact his decision will be a disaster to your sister's life.
That 1st story, the husband sounds wonderful. But his parents are not 'traditional' as they claim, and as everyone has made for their excuse. 'Traditional' does not mean you're overly horrible and hostile to your grandchild's mother, it does not mean you're horrified by the thought of a girl as a grandchild. People need to stop using 'they're traditional' for sh*t behavior like that because not only is it blatantly incorrect, it gives society the wrong idea about actual traditional parents and grandparents. These grandparents were simply prejudice and stuck-up.
2nd story... Can someone please explain to me. As far as I understood op is SINGLE! How can he then have an emotional AFFAIR? Aren't single people allowed to fall in love anymore? That yta commenter is way out of line.
I don’t get the “firstborn has to be a son” thing. How self-important can you be? These people aren’t royalty.
And they act as if the woman has any control over that when in fact it's the men who have that control.
@Tammohawk I mean like we are the root cause of the gender but I don't think we can control it..........
@@blazingbluedeath Not mentally, no. Your body does that. That's what I meant. Sorry, I had just got up and was on my first cup of coffee, lol.
I can understand wanting a specific gender, one way or the other. But freaking out over the "wrong" gender...
Yeah. Ultrasound scans and knowing the sex in advance is not an "old country" thing. It's a very modern invention. I'm curious as to how they maintained the tradition of the first born being a son. Keep your pregnancies quiet until after birth and quietly get rid of the girls until you bear a son? I know there are a few countries where that is or was the done thing.
Story 1:The husband is doing just what he's supposed to, leaving his parents and cleaving to his wife. It's always possible to hold a second wedding ceremony later. It's fun to see the overbearing mother lose it when her son isn't a Mama's boy and won't be pushed around.
News flash, Mommy Dearest: Your son is not a child anymore. He is a full grown adult who is more than capable of making his own decisions in his life and that includes who he wants to marry and live his life. And don't you dare throw around the whole "I gave birth to you and your father and I raised you, so you owe us" crap. Your son don't owe you Jack Sugar-Honey-Ice-Tea for you doing the bear minimum!! No person should ever live their lives how their parents want them to, especially as a way to "pay them back" for everything they've done for them. No sacrifice is ever good enough to justify controlling your own children's lives.
Well up until that point, they still did EVERYTHING she wanted
Op is waving a lot of red flags in the post. Everything is about OP,OP and OP. Op- Everyone should worship me, Only my feeling matter. People being uncomfortable doesn't matter and etc. They just meet her in the same breath of - we are getting married. I wonder why they are not supportive /s.
@@fanfictiondreamer7836 Nor the wolf minimum.
@
I'm proud of ops husband sticking up for his wife and kid
Why will you admit to have feelings for YOUR SISTERS PARTNER , and his reaction wtf, the sister is surrounded by 🐍🐍
MIL needs a lesson in biology as it's the male that determines the child's gender.
To be that delighted about the divorce, papers you have to really be messed up, especially in this case
man i would of grabbed the pepsie bottles and open them then procede to pour into sink
The toxicity of his mother is above and beyond!
Now that is a husband with a shiny spine. Many of these men with cultural
Mothers like this won’t ever stand up to Mummy. You got a good one
Brother story irks me. YTA. Be a brother to your sister. Not the creep in the shadows
Good morning all. Have a blessed day.
Good morning!
What kind of a mother lets anyone call her daughter a bitch? I would say a very poor excuse for a mother. She would rather have an abusive man around, then no man at all, think again woman.
Its been proven for years, that it is the man that decides the gender of the baby. Someone needs to educated these people
Well the man doesn't actually decide it. A man produces male and female sperm. It's pure chance which one gets in the ovum first.
I know what you mean, I took sex ed AND human anatomy but the man does not DECIDE anything. Its basically RANDOM. By the way, and I am being VERY hypothetical, even IF they could choose the gender, who are they to say that a boy is MORE important than a girl? Even IF they could choose at will and had chosen a girl what would be wrong with that???
I'm so annoyed with the story 2 commener who said YTA. She handled things extremely well in a very difficult situation. OP deserves HUGE credit, not approbation.
I agree eventhough OP is male not female 😁
You said the right word, but the corresponding text was "Sceptical" instead of "Skeptical" and that is hilarious. They were indeed poopy about it 😂
Kinda expected him to somehow legally emancipat from his family. Then tell mil she doesn't have to worry about what their grandkid is since he's no longer their son so they'll never have any grandkids.
Story 1: finally...a just no mil with a shiny spine of carbon fiber of a husband....
No one is worth betraying you sibling. I don't care if he is into you too. He was you SISTER's Partner, and it sounds like you have a good relationship with her, so stand by her. It doesn't matter if they are together or not stay away!!!!!!!!!!!!
This.
He needs to tell the sister though, she shouldn't be marrying this man, even if she doesn't marry him, u two becoming an item would destroy your relationship with your sister, tell her and stay away from him.
No while he good for not getting with somone in a relationship no one hasna right to another if they broke up its fair game to say otherwise is incredibly dehumabising
As sister's partner is already admittedly bisexual, and has romantic feelings for OP, there's a LOT to unpack in the relationship. Some premarital counseling seems called for, especially as he sounds lukewarm about marrying OP's sister in the first place.
The sister's man is openly bi. He said his sister is fully aware. Drop the AIDS era homophobic crap
“the wedding was insanely complicated”
If I would have to guess, I would say that the husband’s family originated from India
Maybe ..I still don't know why they had to bent backwards
What is wrong with these parents? Has no one studied the subject of Biology? WTH
Yeah, the whole son/grandson thing is a weird cultural thing for many cultures. It’s a really weird thing that a lot of people are obsessed with.
It is weird, first of all the male determines the sex of the baby not the female, 2nd u are literally as a woman putting yourself down by believing this, if females aren't worthy what does that say about MIL?? Countries that do this must have a male to female ratio of like 10:2 , who's giving u grandchildren now?? Nobody cause they literally can't find a wife.
@@arleneclark6369 That is so true on so many levels.
What's worse is the female tends to be blamed when biologically the fault lies with the male.
She will never make Tom apologize. I suspect that he is the main breadwinner between the two of them and she doesn’t to lose her ATM
Just wondering if Tom is being abusive. He sounds like someone who insists on having everything his way at all times.
If I were OP, I'd have asked Tom if he's ever heard of this stuff called "ice."
I wonder if Tom is abusive to your mom... every time she sends you a picture of Scrooge, grinch, etc...
send her a picture of Johnny from The Shinning played by Jack Nicholson. Alternate this with pictures of other villains: Bill Sikes & Mr. Limbkins from Oliver Twist & any other cruel person that you know your mom may recognize.
Yeah, break it off. Then give some time. Then ask her if she would be upset if they dates.
She brought it on herself. And FIL should have stood up and told her to shut her mouth! He loses his only grandchild and child out of his life because of her loud mouth!
I'm going to guess that it is an Asian family, possibly Indian. If they're the type that is extremely traditional.
Story 1, love how MiL is upset and horrified that it's a daughter when her son was hoping for a daughter. Given horrid she is I'm not surprised that she had the audacity to demand her son divorce op because they had a girl. Unfortunately there are people that STILL think men are superior to women and it doesn't make sense to me either. Specially when today, women own HUGE industries and are leaders in the white house. Best interests my ass, she only cares about having a grandson, is ignoring that her son wanted a girl, and blames op. The witch definitely celebrated too early. I love op's husband for what he did. Not surprised that the witch was in denial and couldn't believe that her son wasn't obeying her and was cutting her out of his life. She brought that on herself and not surprised that she threw a huge tantrum like a child. I agree that MiL is very toxic and I think she's also using religion to get her way.
Considering Transwomen (some of them) believe that they are superior to Terfs (biological women) the believe that men are superior to women isn't easyly overthrown..
MiL has severe internalized misogyny.
Ding Dong the WITCH is Gone !! LOL!!
When someone fall in love over traumatic event… usually eventually it fails… see a therapist and it’s misplaced affection…. Like when patients fall for their nurses and such
The last story is why I will never marry again. Let alone think about dating.
Pop takes up too much space in the refrigerator! Use ice.
XD she should Tell her husband about what tom said
If shes not excited about having a girl for a grandbaby then they dont have to see her. Problem solved!!
First story: As a parting shot, the husband should let his mother know that genetically, it is the father's contribution that determines the sex. OP not "giving" him a son is nonsense and a biological impssibility.
This is a BIG RED FLAG‼️ MOM IS BEING ABUSED‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
It’s nice when the husband has the wife’s back
15:25 what a horrible brother for having an emotional affair. She's marrying a guy in the closet. What a mess
100% agree. "You can't help what you feel :(" that's mostly bullshit but even if it weren't you can manage that shit. He didn't have to come clean about anything but he chose to and they can apparently be honest to each other but not with his sister? That's an emotional affair. They have their little secret now, a fantasy they can indulge in, isn't it all so deliciously dramatic? Scum. The biggest AH is the fiance for apparently not wanting to marry this woman but going along with this shit because... it would be awkward to break up? That's bullshit, he does want to marry her, he just also wants her brother around and is feeding him a bullshit excuse to keep this secret romance of theirs going. They both suck so fucking hard. His sister deserves better from both of them. If I ever started developing feelings for a siblings SO I would NEVER give that shit any oxygen which is exactly what OP did by bringing it up. I would KILL that feeling by any means and anyone who says you can't do that is a fucking liar and/or a weakling. He gave it fuel instead of smothering it and distancing himself which was the responsible thing to do. He doesn't owe that dude an explanation for distancing himself, he had no reason to be around him all the time anymore, and even if he did he couldn't think of a lie? I'm calling bullshit on the whole thing. OP is trash.
If a person is HETEROSEXUAL themselves and marries someone who they KNOW is NOT a heterosexual then the burden of risk is on them and if anything bad happens as a result (like a same gender affair) I won't feel any sympathy for the heterosexual member of the relationship.
When you marry you mix cultures and they’re different you don’t just pick one and less but people are OK with it and you should be able to wear whatever you want at your wedding. I’m sorry you could not have your dream.
Big W with OP's husband right, dude basically said, you know what? you're right i should leave my family
Last story I’d never let someone talked to my daughter like that. Tom was immature & mom wasn’t being a mom. No telling how many times he’s been abusive to her & u don’t know about it.
Mum is also immature with her response. Also she should have noticed the Pepsi was out and put it in the fridge.
There are plenty of situations where kids get abused but the parents don't abuse each other. This "poor thing is probably being abused" narrative is absurd.
Awe boo woo so the baby is a girl .. yaaaah but I pray that the mommy will make a good delivery. Any anything could take her or the Botha life damn peeps be happy it’s a baby mil go to ,, never mind it’s not worth it
Story 3: NTA, but your step-dad is a total Jackass. And his emotional abuse is something your mother is tolerating, and expecting you to tolerate it too. She's an enabler to his emotional abuse. Any woman who does that deserves what she gets.
I hate the mother MORE, that is right EVEN MORE than the guy. A mother's duty to protect and nurture their child takes precedence over almost anything and that includes kowtowing to a stupid and abusive @$$H0L3 boyfriend. Maybe it's wrong to say ANYONE deserves abuse but when he turns his abuse on HER she will have brought it on herself. Calling her own daughter a bitch is what I call a PURPLE FLAG.
Last story...
Well. Be the Grinch. I dont see the issue.
Tom is a DBAG.. and mom owns it!! So Mom.. deal with it..
Good day. Good weekend.
You too!!
"a very intimate gender reveal party" 😏
last story, if anyone asks at the Christmas party why mother is not there, tell them the truth, don't hold back anything because otherwise she will later lie to protect that crappy husband. Guy sounds like an abuser and people need to be aware of this so they can watch out for it in case it gets worse. OP will not be protecting her mother if she keeps this dispute a secret.
I hope there is an update on the last story. I want to know what ended up happening at the end.
Its best to end the relationship with the sister. Try to be as gentle and amicable.
Why does the second story have to be so complicated? You have a crush, said person is spoken for, so you don't act on those feelings? How hard can it be to not throw yourself at someone?
last one. tom isn't invited and mommy just uninvited herself as well. it is still open but tell her to stuff it
Why not have two weddings. One for his family and one for her? So you both get the wedding if your dreams.
Reminds me at the story My grandma told me after My Grandpa died a guy came around to have a relationship lol My grandma told him that he would Never survive it with her boys both My uncle And My dad where in They late teen Years 😂😂😂 guy Never came back after
Mom had nothing to do with the Tom rift? The Pepsis were from Mom's shopping and *she* didn't make sure her pweshous boy's sodas got into the fridge. BooHooo! Time for some extremely low contact with Mom and nc with Tom. And have yourself a quiet, pleasant xmas! 🎄
The last story, doesn't Tom know about this thing called *ICE?*
If gender isn't a big deal, why are we making a big deal out of it? Hmm? Just call the family gossip, it's cheaper. Or Fakebook it.
Story 1
Sex is determined by the man not the women she has absolutely no idea of science,I think your husband should handle his parents and I truly believe your husband is going to put her firmly in her place she deserves absolutely no access to your baby or any future babies she deserves exactly what I amazed your husband has a wonderful shiny spine moving far from them is truly perfect and congratulations
the last story? L O L Well, did your mother have to go shopping because she let the supply of *_cold Pepsi_* get down to zero? Did she buy any other groceries? Wasn't there a trey of ice cubes in the refigerator? I would have gotten the tallest glass, filled it with ice and poured in some Pepsi and said "Here, pretend you're at McDonalds."
Story 1. Commenters are pathetic. At no point did the start say that he was actually going through with the plan which he might of hoped would put some fear into them. The internet is full of aholes who just assume and invent 'facts'.
Awsome
Last story- wow, Tom is nuts....and mom should know better- marrying someone after only 3 months??! She couldn't just get a vibrator??! Ugh, let them be juvenile on their own, she'll come crying back again soon after he dumps her over something completely trivial
--- MIL blames OP for having a son, she obviously doesn't realize that it's the man that determines the baby's sex.
Once again a op who had a chance to get rid of a toxic in-laws and they don’t take the offer by spouse to cut off their toxic family 🤦 story1
A girl can still carry the families name and do many things that a boy can do.
Women be sp desperate to be married
Dont meet family til engagement. ? You have to know what you are getting onto.
A lot certainly are desperate but I think she chose well with this one and his spine of steel.
I’m not sympathetic to OP. She had multiple opportunities to detach from these vile people and didn’t let her husband execute because she was too invested in being right.
OP is so right a healthy happy. The baby is more important than the sex of the baby.
Story 1: I thought the papers would be a RESTRAINING ORDER against the parents.
Also, how low can the SELF ESTEEM of the MIL be? She HATES that they are having a GIRL but SHE HERSELF IS FEMALE so if she HATES females so much and ONLY values males than can she even value herself?
Also, a married couple never OWE grand children to the parents and inlaws. The audacity of that disgusting old hag to berate them for "taking too long" to have a grand child. If they had wanted they could have chose not to have grand children AT ALL. And if having a grand son is so important maybe their next child will be a son? Did they say they were stopping at one?
Baby gender - I understand if a family has only 1 son in the whole family they would want a male grandchild to pass the name down, to go off on the Dil for having a girl is stupid. The next grandchild could be a boy. Now they have cut their family out of their lives for nothing. OP should make grandparents aware that if they have a son in future he will be given the mother's surname and the rest of the family will be changing their to match.
And they don’t get to see it. Apparently the only care if it’s a son grandparents true grandparents don’t care what the sex is, as long as it’s a healthy baby that’s all that counts
Receives pics of scrooge and the grinch? Send pics of Ted Bundy and Jeffery Dahmer.
I’m not into gender reveal parties they get way out of hand, but if I went to one, I would be civil and nice and keep my mouth shut
Story 2 don't care about gay guy drama
Yo someone seriously needs to explain to me how anyone can find their siblings partner as anything other then alien when it comes to romantic feelings like omfg ewwwwwww hell nah man that's so gross I have two sisters ones gay ones straight and I'm pansexual and I could never ever ever ever EVER see anyone my sisters have been w or is currently w as anything to be interested in that's sooo f*cking gross so please explain to me how is it that I seem to be the weird one for feeling like this
I guess the MIL must have played hooky the first day of Biology class .
IT IS THE MAN'S SEED THAT DETERMINES THE SEX OF A CHILD !
Mil needs to look into genetics and learn which parent determines what sex the baby will be 😂😂
Y Chromosome comes from the man
MIL does realize its the sperm that determines gender.....right.?
Last story: I suspect Tom won't allow OP's mother to attend if he can't go. No way is a controlling AH like that going to apologise. OP needs to privately talk to her mom in person, ask if she gets the same type of treatment & quietly offer her support if she wants to get away from her husband but feels she can't. If mom doesn't want that, & fully (blindly) supports him, then mom has made her choice, sadly. My guess is "Tom" monitors Mom's communications, & mom is trying the only method she can think of to guilt OP into not isolating her from her family. Suspect any day now OP will be told she's not welcome at Mom's anymore if she doesn't relent (or something similar). It's a weird thing but often the abused will defend or excuse their abusers & sometimes not even recognise abusive behaviour. The AH here is Tom, I am reluctant to blame mom because I think she's probably in a bad situation. She's the frog in the water that's almost boiling & I can't judge if she knows she's about to be frog soup and that it's time to jump out, or just thinks the spa water is getting awfully warm & hopes it will cool down again.
Asking someone to lube the person they love because they had a little girl is ridiculous and very controlling. You’ll never see that got a grandchild and you’ll never see your son again and you caused it all yourself.
I'm betting the Family is either Muslim or Indian. Most likely the later.
or both? A lot of ppl in India are Muslims
@@robertx8020 Yeah. But given that there was no demand for her to convert, I bet they were Hindu.
Omg. These stories today are disgusting. Last story. You're mom is the issue. Seems like you have normalize these situations. Pathetic woman. Low contact your mom too.
It never fails to amaze me how people can screw their lives up so badly over the damn dumbest things.
Story 3
You are a adult you watched your mother remarry when you where sixteen and you are now a adult your mother is living with a abusive man he didn't know whether it was you or your mother that left them out he acted in a disgusting behaviour I think she is used to his tantrums your mother should not expect you to accept him into your home he called you axx itch I would be the Grinch and I keep him far away from any children because he has no filter you mother is obviously used to his behaviour
❤️
S1 op should ask mil what would have happened if her grandmother had asked her father to divorce her mommy if mil wasn't aborted then and there. and look at her in disgust.
people pay far too much respect to those, like mil, who should be swept out of their house like rat droppings. lol.
i hope op went nc with the sxxt mil after this. no contact with op's kids.
Why didn't someone inform her about the fact that the sex of a baby is determined by the male?? It ts
The first story... It always amazes me that in this time of science, people still just blow past genetics. The male's sperm determines the sex of a baby by either contributing an X chromosome, making the sex female, or a Y chromosome, making the sex male. The woman on!y has X chromosomes to.contribute.
Story 1 should have a redo wedding so she can have it the way she wants… and the sex of the baby depends on the father
Let mom and Tom stay at home, he is toxic and controlling!! Let them drink warm Coke at home while you enjoy your dinner with people who love and respect you!!
Thats his fault because the man decides the gender. Its not like they can control that. I would tell her to except it or you dont have a grandchild.
Story 2.... sounds like a fabricated story... OP is a 26m GUY, why would his sister wants him involved in A BRIDAL party which i assume are bridesmaid.... Mix and Mash parts makes a plotline with too many loopholes.
Does the MIL realise that women have XX chromosomes and men have XY chromosomes? Which means that it's the guy who can't give a son. It's wrong to blame the parents for something completely out of their hands. The sperms are an independent entity that cannot be controlled once out
Yeah pray cause that fixes things (sarcasm)
Well i'm sure you going f*** yourself isn't going to help either but it makes me happy telling you so.
my mom lived through ww2.. and also had friends who had had various careers and were in various parts of the world. I do not know how mom knew this guy and it was before that psychopath mao took over china, but he was on a navy ship and it was stationed on one of china's major rivers... unsure.. but one day he saw a basket with a baby floating by.. I think he still should have done something, but he was stopped by the superior. apparently this was an almost daily occurrence, sometimes several times a day. they were all girl babies. until this species gets over it's 'sacred *****' worship, this will go on.
Final story: How is OP being unfair? She was rudely insulted over not putting Pepsi bottles in the fridge and is just expected to take the insults and allow the person who shows such contempt and disdain for her to attend her Christmas party. Nope, miss me with that noise. If you act like a schoolyard bully and a child then don't be surprised when you get put in time out and suspended from the fun activities. What on Earth precluded this grown man from putting his own Pepsi bottles in the fridge...was he born without hands/arms? Sorry scooter quit being an AH Tom, tuck your misogyny back in there and put your own damn groceries away! OP's mom is also an AH for taking a grown man-baby's side over her child whom he insulted and not kicking his toxic butt to the curb! OP is a million % NTA!!!
OP try to understand your culture mother-in-law that says a lot about her character. It also says a lot about your character and it’s not good.
Second story. OK OP! Your sister should not marry this man at all because the relationship is doomed. Marriages are a lifelong commitment and even with a lot of love and desire and common interest and shared goal it sometime just doesn't work. But this man is going to marry your sister because he can't give her an explanation of why he can't marry her that isn't--what, embarrassing to him, or doesn't shift the blame to her. It sounds to me like he can't marry your sister because he is not sexually attracted to her, and he is more attracted to men. Hello, this is a thing your sister has to know, from him, to save her and him from a lifetime of pain and hurt. You and this man have strong feelings for each other, and the truth is it really isn't your fault for being who you are and it isn't his fault for being who he is, but it is your and his fault if your sister isn't told the truth. I would think that it is unlikely there will be a romantic future with your sister's boyfriend because there is that stealing sibling's partners thing that seems to be so ingrained in so many of these stories. But just the idea that if you love your sister, she has to know the truth about her boyfriend and his sexuality. That information should come from her boyfriend in a fair world, but it has to come out before she gets to much further into this relationship. Her boyfriend's sexuality isn't going to change and in time he will end up having to cop to it anyway, so better now than 10 years from now when there are kids, and a mortgage. OP, I feel for you bigtime, and I feel bigtime for your sister too. At the moment I even feel for the boyfriend, since I am sure he is in an extremely uncomfortable situation. But if he does not tell your sister the truth, he is a major AH, and you are going to have to bite the bullet and make sure she knows before the wedding. The boyfriend needs to come out of the closet and not put his issues with his sexually ahead of the fact his decision will be a disaster to your sister's life.
That 1st story, the husband sounds wonderful. But his parents are not 'traditional' as they claim, and as everyone has made for their excuse. 'Traditional' does not mean you're overly horrible and hostile to your grandchild's mother, it does not mean you're horrified by the thought of a girl as a grandchild. People need to stop using 'they're traditional' for sh*t behavior like that because not only is it blatantly incorrect, it gives society the wrong idea about actual traditional parents and grandparents. These grandparents were simply prejudice and stuck-up.
gender reveals are just another excuse for a gift grab
2nd story... Can someone please explain to me. As far as I understood op is SINGLE! How can he then have an emotional AFFAIR?
Aren't single people allowed to fall in love anymore?
That yta commenter is way out of line.
Yes, but they BOYFRIEND of her sister is not.
You realize that the connection they have is the sister of the OP that is the girlfriend and now fiancee of the other dude.