Hello Friends - my link to get mental health counseling through "BetterHelp" is live: betterhelp.com/rory If you are looking to try mental health counseling but don't have insurance, or live in a part of the world where it is harder to do then this is your chance to get the help. I'm in talks with the company to interview one of their counselors so we can hear the opinions and thoughts of what a typical session is like, their thoughts on breakups and reconciliation with an EX, and much more. BetterHelp only employs licensed mental health professionals (State & board certified)! I am sponsored by BetterHelp - seems like a win-win.
Hi Rory, so I was in Betterhelp, trying to find you for support but haven’t been able to. Do you have a last name I can ask for? Hope to hear from you. Thanks
I think the answer to "Right person, wrong time?" can only be answered in hindsight. If your ex never comes back, then obviously they weren't the right person. If they do choose to come back to you, and they got themself in order while they were away from you, then they may have been the right person at the wrong time. You will have no idea unless the do come back, so default to assuming that they are not coming back and... WORK. ON. YOURSELF.
7 months after being broken up, I realized that there are circumstances that we really have no control over. We just have to focus on what we can control (as the stoics would say) and do our best for ourselves and for a relationship if we are in one. But you really can't control your partner's decisions. You can influence them, you can guide them, but you can't make them do something you want unless they're willing to
Maybe is the wrong person at right time. Because she/he was meant to be the one who taught you a lesson that can make you find the right person. I miss my ex so much (two weeks of nc) but Im embracing this process to grow as a person, even if she doesn't come back... Just like Rory says, focus on what is under you control. Stay strong, you're not alone!
Same. We kinda spontaneously broke no contact and she said she loves me but we are not getting back together right now. Kida weird but ok. I miss her so much...
Stay strong buddies. Think that It was meant to be that way and it will be easier to handle. You had to learn a lesson before to be in this relationship. In my case, after 3 months of the most perfect relationship, she realized she wasn't ready for a relationship yet, because she was not completely over her last one, so broke up with me. Although I did almost anything wrong, I learned some lesson about chosing a partner who is not emotionally available. I saw some warnings but I didn't take them seriously. My point is that there's always something to learn and improve, if you don't take action about it now, you gonna fail again in your next relationship (with your ex or any other person). Use this time now to yourselves. Don't hold on any hope. Let the life surprise you, let them come back. Sorry about my english, is not my first language. Be strong!
Mine came back after 6 months. We only lasted another 6 months though and then she broke up again. This time looks final, been a year and she's in a new relationship.
@@ditteb2199 I did the same, he was the "love of my life", i was ready to start a family with him. I was damn serious. After 4 months he left me, did no contact, came back after 3 months, left me a 2nd time, did 3 months of no contact, came back again, he was so focus on himself with a lot of talks and promises and no actions at all that i ditched him. He made me lose my time and my sanity. Focus on yourself guys. Don't go crazy for someone, don't try to understand them. I had panic attacks at the end lol. It wasn't worth it. 5 months after the last breakup : I feel so much better alone than with him. Lesson learned.
So sorry to hear :-( Did she tell you have she felt the time you where apart? I mean did she go through the breakups stages for the dumper as we all hear so much about?
You're absolutely right, Rory. I don't believe in "right person, wrong time," either. If they're really the right person, there is no wrong time. This belief gives false hopes.
"Stop chasing happiness and start creating it." Sums up everything so well in one sentence :). I think my ex was the right person for the right time to help me grow where I needed to grow, but she isn't the right person any longer. Great video :).
I used to believe in that. My most recent ex. Honestly it just resulted in her trying to fit me into a box of who I was years ago than who I actually was today and made no effort in actually getting to know me. It’s unfortunate as we had SO much in common. Looking back she wasn’t at all ready for the relationship and has a LOT of work she needs to do on herself that I’m not sure she even realizes. I’m moving forward, it’s unfortunate as I truly loved her with my soul. It really feels like a wasted opportunity after knowing each other so long and our connection we’ve had for that time.
7:50 "Sometimes, what you're really doing when you ask questions like 'right person, wrong time' is just looking for ways to hold onto your ex. Even though, deep down, maybe you know you shouldn't hold onto this person. Maybe, you know that they came into your life to teach you a lesson and your life is going to be fantastic once you *fully embrace and learn that lesson*." Reminds me of the analysis when DG reviewed 500 Days of Summer. Essentially, there is no Autumn without Summer. I'm going through this right now. Embracing the lesson, being happy it happened, and realizing the reality of why we didn't work out. Boy I really thought she'd be the one I'll marry. But maybe the next one will just be better than I imagined/thought, because I'll not be starting over, or from nothing, but rather with experience & lessons.
When you have truly moved on and secure and in control of your emotions and anxiety ... and you hold no hope of your ex reaching out ..... ONLY then you can visit the idea of Right person wrong time ... Im in that position now .... i smile and i am thankful for the nice memories ... who knows if our paths may cross in the future .....
I like this. I've never giving 2nd chances in my life. Sometimes I wonder should I. This confirms it. I've always since I was 16 years old wanted to be a good person and become better. I've been hurt so many times as a good person..I never once thought to hurt anyone. I think two right people belong together. Why is it we have intentions to fight and work on ourselves and the other person don't. You deserve someone who is willing to fight and do the work like you.
I have a long distance ex, and I can whole heartedly say that she is the right person but wrong time. This isn’t something I like to cling onto but it’s more of a sentiment that’s buried within the subconscious. Long distance relationships don’t work unless there’s a set time where you close off the distance. However in my situation that’s out of our control as I’m still studying in England whereas she is studying in Scotland. My friends, don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way, it’s a natural feeling just as Rory said. But it’s what we do with our time and how we take on these lessons is what will define our future. You can sit and wallow about what-if’s (making you less attractive in the long-run if you were to meet up with your ex again) or you can work on being the best version of you (which would make you more attractive in the long-run if you rekindle with your ex or meet somebody better) - Let things fall into place NATURALLY, like how life’s supposed to, because no matter the outcome, you will be happy
Reece Woodall I have an long distance ex too. It’s hard to say if it’s the right person wrong time or wrong person wrong time. But at the end of the day, he left, what can I do? 🤷🏻♀️ move the f**k on
Wrong person, right time... wrong on me for not seeing it in the first place. The Red Flags were there, I just refused to acknowledge them. And now I pay the price with a fractured heart.
Hi Rory! I just wanted to say thank you for being straight-forward and honest! I'm only 23 and a month ago I thought I was with the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. But this pandemic happened, and he had to go back to his home (Aus).. for weeks after the break up there were times where I would cry and ask myself why he had to dumped me when things were going so well between us. I was caring and supportive towards him. I was willing to compromise and be patient with him.. I guess you are right sometimes even when we do everything at our best, it wouldn't guarantee us a happy ending. So instead of hoping that he'll come back, I am slowly focusing on the things that I have control over like spending more time with my family and friends, learning Norwegian and binge watching Netflix.. it's very difficult to be in this situation during a pandemic but I am truly grateful that you exists and I was able to find you at the right time! 😊 When he left I started searching for a good TH-cam channel that can help me cope with my heartbreak and I found you and a few good coaches. I am in debt of youand I hope you'll keep doing this 🧡 and stay safe 😊
Gonna have to put this one on loop for a couple weeks or a month. Feels like finally giving up this mentality that they may come back, and the seemingly constant stream of intrusive thoughts about it is the final piece to finding my own peace.
This is what she told me during our breakup talk. It gave me a lot of false hope but we havent spoken in 8 months and I'm moving on and it feels good!! Thanks Rory, you're truly amazing and keep up the quality content!!! Stay safe!!
Great answers. No matter how you look at it. Great answers. We all have to move on regardless. I have forgiven him but not what he done. Was all wrong. Especially since I knew him for 9 yrs. He could have Told me what he wanted. No more bread crumbs for me. Thank you.
Thank you for this! My ex told me that although we have an intense connection, our situations (kid related) made our future unknown. So he broke up with me. I’ve held onto the hope that in the future, when things are different, he’ll come back. Your message is what I needed to hear. If he’d been the right one, he would have stayed.
Been listening for over a year.. been in no contact for that long with ex fiance. I'm living this literally right now this week. Did a ton of work on myself to be the right person to meet the right person at the right time. Met someone amazing this week, and saw my ex this week also for only the second time since the break up...I was ok seeing my ex because of the new person.....thanks Rory for all you out out there...
For a very long time I thought my ex was "the right person at the wrong time" as well. For 2 years, everything was just fine and we even began planing our future together. But unfortunately he had to join military service in his home country. While being there, his personality changed in a very negative way to the point where I hardly recognized him anymore. Today, 10 months after our break-up and of NC, I know he was definitely NOT the right person for me. But he was the lesson I needed to learn when it comes to setting healthy boundaries and what I want and expect from a good partner. So, in some way, he was "the right person" karmically but not romantically!
My ex-fiance told me this the last time she reached out to me... Trying not to get caught up by that, but I'm human. Just focus on yourself, things will work out for the best, even when it doesn't feel like it.
Maybe under normal circumstances I'd agree with wrong person wrong time.. but everything just came together to sabotage this relationship before it had a chance.. pandemic, long distance.. But it doesn't matter unless she decides to do something to fix it. Truth is I'd like to move on and reach that stage of acceptance but it's not happening until in a few months when I have that certainty that she won't reach out.
Rory, thank you SO much for this video!! I hadn't thought about this as part of the bargaining stage. I thought instead that I was being considerate to both he and I by putting everything that's gone wrong, down to circumstances. I have been going around in circles with this one question, this one question stopping me from letting go and moving on. Holding on to "But what if....things had been different". By different, we really mean 'better'. What if I wasn't grieving, he wasn't rebounding, we didn't live 600 miles apart. But they weren't. And he wasn't. And I wasn't. I've been bargaining and never knew it. THANK YOU for the wake up. It's bananas for me to consider that circumstances could be different, he could be different and I could be different and THEN it would be okay! That's a lot of things that would need to be different! If THAT much needs to change, then clearly neither of us is the right person for the other.
"If this wasn't meant for me, why does it hurt so much? And if you're not made for me why did we fall in love?" -- this video brings these lyrics to my mind and I've thought about it a lot during my healing process. If you look closely, it was a lesson. Sometimes we learn the bad things through our favorite people. Sometimes we have to let go. I don't know if the right time will bring them back again, but even if it does, will it be the same? For myself, I doubt it. Good luck everyone
Banking your happiness on a maybe... Love it. Thanks Rory! I know you’re a Picard fan and I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the phrase "Sometimes you can commit no mistake and still loose" actually comes from Spock. It’s a chess reference. I just can’t find the episode (I tried). Picard also said it, but as a wink to the first series.
I think in some ways this idea can give you false hope too. In my situation, it felt like this, but in truth, he still loved his ex and had a son to worry about. I ignored the red flag that while yes, we were compatible, he still had a lot going on in his personal life that I just could not fit. Poor choices were made as a result. I do believe this is possible, but the dumpee mustn’t put too much thought into it because it could close them off to new people and new experiences.
We hit it off really fast the chemistry was incredible unfortunately he has a custody hearing with his ex-wife in a couple weeks and he says life is a mess needs to work on himself well I'm no contact now his kids are high school still at home
“Right person at the wrong time” is definitely a false hypothesis that no one should engage and go down this rabbit hole. I hope everyone could be in peace with the idea of obtaining happiness loving themselves first before extend that love to anyone else.
@@FreeTheJambon he changed. I guess bcauze the break up broke him tht time. But I met someone else in August.. We both had a crush on the other but we aren't allowed to date. Well lucky me ha
It's good to talk with this person after some time to see if he/she is actually a right person at the wrong time. In my case maybe it really is. But I heard it from him. He said he loves me but he has to go to therapy first. It's hard with a depressed person who is trying to push everyone away to „protect them”. He asked if he will be better and came to my country then would I want to try again ofc if Im gonna be single. I don’t close myself to new relationships, but neither do I for my ex. It’s only up to him whether he actually does something. And will it be the right time 😉
I'm in no contact I met a woman who was separated from her husband. For 3 & half years he did not touch or talk too her, so she kicked him out. We start dating & he came back they were married for 25 years with children. I think its hopeless we had everything. Right person wrong time.
Hey Rory, this video is spot on to me. You nailed it and it spoke to me because once again you approached this topic like other topics of yours in a realistic and practical. I find this video is realistic and practical. I am willing to swallow more tough pills like this if it's the right medication and vitamin and supplements to process. I am improving lately on embracing change.
This is my situation. It was my ex of 10yrs's best friend. We hung out 1yr after the break up after a few weeka, he decided he should to let my ex know we like each other- my ex was furious... To the point his best friend decided maybe we could just be Friend's with Ben's instead. ...i said no.. And now it's over. 🙁 ....this was end of August 2020.. I'm completely bummed.
@@kaldea6111 I was dying tocget her back almost a year.Then she contacted me and I saw that it was nothing special and boom.One day after a year feom breakup,I woke up and I was great.I met one great woman and that happened like that,my ex is now contacting me but I don't feel anything even that I wanted her so bad 2 months ago.It will happen,trust me. :)
Rory can you answer me this. My ex broke up with me and it’s been a month. I have been devastated and have been doing no contact. I went to Vegas to get my mind clear and took some photos. My ex blocked me on ig and Snapchat after she saw them. Then I posted a beach trip on Facebook then she deleted me. Why is she doing this if she the one that has broken up with me. I haven’t messaged her or anything. I am beyond confused
Just discovered your chanel and I'm subscirbing. Thank you so much, your videos are great and are helpping me so much right now I haven't checked yet, but could you do a video about breaking up during quarentine?
@@TheLoveChat Rory.... You have been the right person at the exact right time for so many of us... I've also been dumped over a month ago but my ex was dragging the breakup on and on... It was to the point that he was controlling me by holding on and making me feel like there 'could be' a future for us but just not now etc etc.... Yet I can't hold onto something I am so unsure of.... He was like making me feel like another option in case things get sour for him. But my relationship with my ex was honestly the best.. There was such a good communication, negotiation and respect between us - it was only after the breakup that I started to not know who he is. I was incredibly conflicted. I saw a counsellor as well like you said in many of your videos and I feel so saved. Thank you oh so much really.... I swear to god I've listened to like 3/4 of your videos by now.... And I'm happy to keep pursuing my individualistic mindset and goals - first jiu jitsu class tonight even!
OMG Rory you and the recent topics make me want to get into a respectable debate. What if the person was a high school sweetheart? How does that tie into the topic?
what if my ex told me we were quite a match but wrong timing? (after we meet 1.5months later in NC since we planned this meeting due to some finances settlement )
Damn! I was wondering why i haven't seen a video from thic chanel for ages. I just discovered that i'm somehow unsubscribed... YT is really getting weird. And i feel like i met my person more under wrong circumstances... ldr sucks
So my gf broke up with me because she has alot on her mind an has no time for affection. How do I deal with moving on when ik she's the one I feel it in my soul
If you walk away from someone who was playing you. Do you really get your power back. Do they really look back at you and say waw they have a lot f self respect !
She did ask me why I didn’t came into her life 2 years ago or later in the future I was very confused and still soon I know she end move into a relationship after 3 moths of dating still wanted to be friend??? My lord can you answer this? Thx
my ex sent me a clean slate message (apologizing for breaking up and being thankful) after 3 months of breaking up idk if i should respond but he said i don't need to reply. should i respond?
Hi Rory! Its me again. Just have a question its been a year now since me and my ex broke up. She cheated on me but then she’s the one who hated my so much after I become a better person after the breakup. Why is that so?
She most likely is not interested in reconciliation and so she is being mean to send the message along that she isn't interested. If it's been a year I would begin to focus on bigger and better things!
Same situation but I don’t think they do since they don’t really pay much attention to the rebound. Rebound is something to help them realize what they lost and get back with an ex or help them to forget about their ex and move on to a new relationship ( not with the rebound) :(. It’s very unfair for the rebound that they are the ones that help them get over the break up and get broken up to at the end.
Amy Dibwa I think the longer you guys were together, there must be more to it for him to reconsider for reconciling. I wish you the best. It’s okay to have hope but keep focusing on yourself, try to heal and move on. When you are healed and confident, I’m sure he will get back to you or you can get someone better :)
I need help! So this girl was crazy over me in the beginning when we started dating, she couldn’t leave me alone and even wanted to have my kid before we even get to talk about family. And we been only dating for like 4 months. She bought me clothes, make food, give me massages and she loves my D. Not to brag it’s like she’s obsessed with my D idk. I wasn’t ready to take things that far. She told me about her last relationship and she said she always gets bored with all her previous ex after certain period of time. This 4th of July will be our first year but last month she told me she don’t love me anymore. She ask to stop everything and I said well, love sometimes fade away so I will give you time to go spend times with your friends and be yourself. She basically dump me. I ask her if we can slowly fix this, she said up to you so I was open to putting effort, but I still give her space and time. But we still see other like twice a week or once but this time she’s so disrespectful, everything she do annoys me now. I tried talking and she would just ignored and change completely different subjects. So yesterday I finally said, if you don’t want to love me and don’t want to put effort into this relationship, I’m letting you go, well she already let me go so I was just the only one trying by myself to fix it. I told her, I’m letting you go, let me know if you change your mind. She said I will. That was it. Since that I don’t text her or call her. But she keeps calling me now, I haven’t answer her and she texted me saying “hello” I didn’t respond to it. She’s calling me as I type this smh. So what should I do? Should keep NC or remind her that she can only contact me only if she wants to to fix the relationship. Please help! Thanks Rory for all your video been watching them.
Thank you, Rory! Please could you do a video about dreaming about your ex. I think I am moving on and then I dream about them and it takes me back again to the day of breakup. Doing no contact and it’s helping me. 💕
Hello Friends - my link to get mental health counseling through "BetterHelp" is live: betterhelp.com/rory
If you are looking to try mental health counseling but don't have insurance, or live in a part of the world where it is harder to do then this is your chance to get the help.
I'm in talks with the company to interview one of their counselors so we can hear the opinions and thoughts of what a typical session is like, their thoughts on breakups and reconciliation with an EX, and much more. BetterHelp only employs licensed mental health professionals (State & board certified)!
I am sponsored by BetterHelp - seems like a win-win.
Hi Rory, so I was in Betterhelp, trying to find you for support but haven’t been able to. Do you have a last name I can ask for? Hope to hear from you. Thanks
I think the answer to "Right person, wrong time?" can only be answered in hindsight. If your ex never comes back, then obviously they weren't the right person. If they do choose to come back to you, and they got themself in order while they were away from you, then they may have been the right person at the wrong time. You will have no idea unless the do come back, so default to assuming that they are not coming back and...
WORK.
ON.
YOURSELF.
7 months after being broken up, I realized that there are circumstances that we really have no control over. We just have to focus on what we can control (as the stoics would say) and do our best for ourselves and for a relationship if we are in one. But you really can't control your partner's decisions. You can influence them, you can guide them, but you can't make them do something you want unless they're willing to
Maybe is the wrong person at right time. Because she/he was meant to be the one who taught you a lesson that can make you find the right person.
I miss my ex so much (two weeks of nc) but Im embracing this process to grow as a person, even if she doesn't come back...
Just like Rory says, focus on what is under you control.
Stay strong, you're not alone!
Same. We kinda spontaneously broke no contact and she said she loves me but we are not getting back together right now. Kida weird but ok. I miss her so much...
I'm 1.5 months in and I broke down today. Its hard to live with it but at least I can function.
@@JeyKeropi16 2 months for me buddy and I still can't sleep, depressed and sad with no friends...
Stay strong buddies. Think that It was meant to be that way and it will be easier to handle. You had to learn a lesson before to be in this relationship.
In my case, after 3 months of the most perfect relationship, she realized she wasn't ready for a relationship yet, because she was not completely over her last one, so broke up with me.
Although I did almost anything wrong, I learned some lesson about chosing a partner who is not emotionally available. I saw some warnings but I didn't take them seriously.
My point is that there's always something to learn and improve, if you don't take action about it now, you gonna fail again in your next relationship (with your ex or any other person). Use this time now to yourselves.
Don't hold on any hope. Let the life surprise you, let them come back.
Sorry about my english, is not my first language.
Be strong!
@@bastianmunozamestica9364 Gracias 😌 your answer has helped me go thru my day today.
This = right video, right time. Thanks Rory, you're doing so much and you don't even know ❤️
exactly 😂
I so agree!!!
If it helps some of you, no contact worked on my ex two times, the second time I couldn’t be bothered to play games anymore
After how Long of No No contact did your ex reach out?
Mine came back after 6 months. We only lasted another 6 months though and then she broke up again. This time looks final, been a year and she's in a new relationship.
@@ditteb2199 I did the same, he was the "love of my life", i was ready to start a family with him. I was damn serious.
After 4 months he left me, did no contact, came back after 3 months, left me a 2nd time, did 3 months of no contact, came back again, he was so focus on himself with a lot of talks and promises and no actions at all that i ditched him. He made me lose my time and my sanity.
Focus on yourself guys. Don't go crazy for someone, don't try to understand them. I had panic attacks at the end lol. It wasn't worth it.
5 months after the last breakup : I feel so much better alone than with him. Lesson learned.
So sorry to hear :-( Did she tell you have she felt the time you where apart? I mean did she go through the breakups stages for the dumper as we all hear so much about?
@@ditteb2199 She said that in the time we didn't talk she realised how much I meant to her and that she couldn't let me go so easily
You're absolutely right, Rory. I don't believe in "right person, wrong time," either. If they're really the right person, there is no wrong time. This belief gives false hopes.
Yes. There is no "wrong time". They are just using you for something and not at all serious about you. Which means "wrong person" not "wrong time".
"Stop chasing happiness and start creating it." Sums up everything so well in one sentence :). I think my ex was the right person for the right time to help me grow where I needed to grow, but she isn't the right person any longer. Great video :).
I used to believe in that. My most recent ex. Honestly it just resulted in her trying to fit me into a box of who I was years ago than who I actually was today and made no effort in actually getting to know me. It’s unfortunate as we had SO much in common. Looking back she wasn’t at all ready for the relationship and has a LOT of work she needs to do on herself that I’m not sure she even realizes. I’m moving forward, it’s unfortunate as I truly loved her with my soul. It really feels like a wasted opportunity after knowing each other so long and our connection we’ve had for that time.
7:50 "Sometimes, what you're really doing when you ask questions like 'right person, wrong time' is just looking for ways to hold onto your ex. Even though, deep down, maybe you know you shouldn't hold onto this person. Maybe, you know that they came into your life to teach you a lesson and your life is going to be fantastic once you *fully embrace and learn that lesson*." Reminds me of the analysis when DG reviewed 500 Days of Summer. Essentially, there is no Autumn without Summer. I'm going through this right now. Embracing the lesson, being happy it happened, and realizing the reality of why we didn't work out. Boy I really thought she'd be the one I'll marry. But maybe the next one will just be better than I imagined/thought, because I'll not be starting over, or from nothing, but rather with experience & lessons.
When you have truly moved on and secure and in control of your emotions and anxiety ... and you hold no hope of your ex reaching out .....
ONLY then you can visit the idea of Right person wrong time ...
Im in that position now .... i smile and i am thankful for the nice memories ... who knows if our paths may cross in the future .....
Right person at the wrong time is a wrong person...
Absolutely😄
I like this. I've never giving 2nd chances in my life. Sometimes I wonder should I. This confirms it. I've always since I was 16 years old wanted to be a good person and become better. I've been hurt so many times as a good person..I never once thought to hurt anyone. I think two right people belong together. Why is it we have intentions to fight and work on ourselves and the other person don't. You deserve someone who is willing to fight and do the work like you.
I have a long distance ex, and I can whole heartedly say that she is the right person but wrong time. This isn’t something I like to cling onto but it’s more of a sentiment that’s buried within the subconscious. Long distance relationships don’t work unless there’s a set time where you close off the distance. However in my situation that’s out of our control as I’m still studying in England whereas she is studying in Scotland. My friends, don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way, it’s a natural feeling just as Rory said. But it’s what we do with our time and how we take on these lessons is what will define our future. You can sit and wallow about what-if’s (making you less attractive in the long-run if you were to meet up with your ex again) or you can work on being the best version of you (which would make you more attractive in the long-run if you rekindle with your ex or meet somebody better) - Let things fall into place NATURALLY, like how life’s supposed to, because no matter the outcome, you will be happy
Reece Woodall I have an long distance ex too. It’s hard to say if it’s the right person wrong time or wrong person wrong time. But at the end of the day, he left, what can I do? 🤷🏻♀️ move the f**k on
Wrong person, right time... wrong on me for not seeing it in the first place. The Red Flags were there, I just refused to acknowledge them. And now I pay the price with a fractured heart.
That’s all too real.
Same. Hurts like hell. How are you now? Mines is fresh. 3 months so far
Hi Rory! I just wanted to say thank you for being straight-forward and honest! I'm only 23 and a month ago I thought I was with the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. But this pandemic happened, and he had to go back to his home (Aus).. for weeks after the break up there were times where I would cry and ask myself why he had to dumped me when things were going so well between us. I was caring and supportive towards him. I was willing to compromise and be patient with him.. I guess you are right sometimes even when we do everything at our best, it wouldn't guarantee us a happy ending. So instead of hoping that he'll come back, I am slowly focusing on the things that I have control over like spending more time with my family and friends, learning Norwegian and binge watching Netflix.. it's very difficult to be in this situation during a pandemic but I am truly grateful that you exists and I was able to find you at the right time! 😊 When he left I started searching for a good TH-cam channel that can help me cope with my heartbreak and I found you and a few good coaches. I am in debt of youand I hope you'll keep doing this 🧡 and stay safe 😊
same! this pandemic break so worst.
Gonna have to put this one on loop for a couple weeks or a month. Feels like finally giving up this mentality that they may come back, and the seemingly constant stream of intrusive thoughts about it is the final piece to finding my own peace.
This is what she told me during our breakup talk. It gave me a lot of false hope but we havent spoken in 8 months and I'm moving on and it feels good!! Thanks Rory, you're truly amazing and keep up the quality content!!! Stay safe!!
You got this!
Perfectly correct and succinct explanation; you are wise.
Great answers. No matter how you look at it. Great answers. We all have to move on regardless. I have forgiven him but not what he done. Was all wrong. Especially since I knew him for 9 yrs. He could have Told me what he wanted. No more bread crumbs for me. Thank you.
I think the only right person at ANY time is ME!! 🍒
Thank you for this! My ex told me that although we have an intense connection, our situations (kid related) made our future unknown. So he broke up with me. I’ve held onto the hope that in the future, when things are different, he’ll come back. Your message is what I needed to hear. If he’d been the right one, he would have stayed.
Been listening for over a year.. been in no contact for that long with ex fiance. I'm living this literally right now this week. Did a ton of work on myself to be the right person to meet the right person at the right time. Met someone amazing this week, and saw my ex this week also for only the second time since the break up...I was ok seeing my ex because of the new person.....thanks Rory for all you out out there...
For a very long time I thought my ex was "the right person at the wrong time" as well. For 2 years, everything was just fine and we even began planing our future together. But unfortunately he had to join military service in his home country. While being there, his personality changed in a very negative way to the point where I hardly recognized him anymore. Today, 10 months after our break-up and of NC, I know he was definitely NOT the right person for me. But he was the lesson I needed to learn when it comes to setting healthy boundaries and what I want and expect from a good partner. So, in some way, he was "the right person" karmically but not romantically!
so perfectly said, most of the case it's the wrong person and the wrong time and we just don't want to believe it.
it's all about you, controling your life and taking responsibilities.
My ex-fiance told me this the last time she reached out to me... Trying not to get caught up by that, but I'm human. Just focus on yourself, things will work out for the best, even when it doesn't feel like it.
Maybe under normal circumstances I'd agree with wrong person wrong time.. but everything just came together to sabotage this relationship before it had a chance.. pandemic, long distance..
But it doesn't matter unless she decides to do something to fix it.
Truth is I'd like to move on and reach that stage of acceptance but it's not happening until in a few months when I have that certainty that she won't reach out.
I have similar situation with pandemic, long distance and emotionally unavailable. This year really sucks
Rory, thank you SO much for this video!! I hadn't thought about this as part of the bargaining stage. I thought instead that I was being considerate to both he and I by putting everything that's gone wrong, down to circumstances. I have been going around in circles with this one question, this one question stopping me from letting go and moving on. Holding on to "But what if....things had been different". By different, we really mean 'better'. What if I wasn't grieving, he wasn't rebounding, we didn't live 600 miles apart. But they weren't. And he wasn't. And I wasn't. I've been bargaining and never knew it. THANK YOU for the wake up. It's bananas for me to consider that circumstances could be different, he could be different and I could be different and THEN it would be okay! That's a lot of things that would need to be different! If THAT much needs to change, then clearly neither of us is the right person for the other.
Sometimes you can commit no mistakes and still lose. That's not weakness, that's life. It hits me hard.
"If this wasn't meant for me, why does it hurt so much? And if you're not made for me why did we fall in love?" -- this video brings these lyrics to my mind and I've thought about it a lot during my healing process. If you look closely, it was a lesson. Sometimes we learn the bad things through our favorite people. Sometimes we have to let go. I don't know if the right time will bring them back again, but even if it does, will it be the same? For myself, I doubt it. Good luck everyone
I believe the right person at the wrong time is the wrong person
Banking your happiness on a maybe... Love it. Thanks Rory!
I know you’re a Picard fan and I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the phrase "Sometimes you can commit no mistake and still loose" actually comes from Spock. It’s a chess reference. I just can’t find the episode (I tried). Picard also said it, but as a wink to the first series.
I'd love if you could find me the EP! I searched but couldn't find it. So far it's only a Picard quote to Cmdr. Data!
I think in some ways this idea can give you false hope too. In my situation, it felt like this, but in truth, he still loved his ex and had a son to worry about. I ignored the red flag that while yes, we were compatible, he still had a lot going on in his personal life that I just could not fit. Poor choices were made as a result. I do believe this is possible, but the dumpee mustn’t put too much thought into it because it could close them off to new people and new experiences.
We hit it off really fast the chemistry was incredible unfortunately he has a custody hearing with his ex-wife in a couple weeks and he says life is a mess needs to work on himself well I'm no contact now his kids are high school still at home
Right video...right time
Glad you think so!
Shit I've started dating Rory, I'm back for new reasons! Aaaargh 🤷♀️😂 It's amazing how different I feel now after everything you've taught xx
This video hit me the hardest of all of yours. Definitely needed to hear this. Thank you.
“Right person at the wrong time” is definitely a false hypothesis that no one should engage and go down this rabbit hole. I hope everyone could be in peace with the idea of obtaining happiness loving themselves first before extend that love to anyone else.
I was having a bad day, and then DG posted a new video and now you! Thank you so much
The right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person period.
Happened to me..
Let's see.. In August I gonna meet my ex. We've dated from 2012-2014 ne he loved me to the moon n back.. But I wasn't ready.
Wow how did it go ?
@@FreeTheJambon he changed. I guess bcauze the break up broke him tht time.
But I met someone else in August.. We both had a crush on the other but we aren't allowed to date. Well lucky me ha
So true. Thanks buddy
It's good to talk with this person after some time to see if he/she is actually a right person at the wrong time. In my case maybe it really is. But I heard it from him. He said he loves me but he has to go to therapy first. It's hard with a depressed person who is trying to push everyone away to „protect them”. He asked if he will be better and came to my country then would I want to try again ofc if Im gonna be single. I don’t close myself to new relationships, but neither do I for my ex. It’s only up to him whether he actually does something. And will it be the right time 😉
Thank you so much for this, definitely feel like this is right for me at the moment! Keep it up because you have helped me more than I can say
You're so welcome!
Still struggling after six months of break up. He dumped me because of his anxiety 😭
I'm in no contact I met a woman who was separated from her husband. For 3 & half years he did not touch or talk too her, so she kicked him out. We start dating & he came back they were married for 25 years with children. I think its hopeless we had everything. Right person wrong time.
Me and my ex had a good chemistry, we clicked. but unfortunately, things doesn't work out. Loss of attraction maybe.
Thanks, Rory. Insightful and helpful, as always.
I reckon if Chad or Brad would show up for her at the wrong time, suddenly, miraculously, its the right time 🤨
Great explanation
Hey Rory, this video is spot on to me. You nailed it and it spoke to me because once again you approached this topic like other topics of yours in a realistic and practical. I find this video is realistic and practical. I am willing to swallow more tough pills like this if it's the right medication and vitamin and supplements to process. I am improving lately on embracing change.
Just wow!!! What a great video... I will see it again :))
This is my situation. It was my ex of 10yrs's best friend. We hung out 1yr after the break up after a few weeka, he decided he should to let my ex know we like each other- my ex was furious... To the point his best friend decided maybe we could just be Friend's with Ben's instead. ...i said no.. And now it's over. 🙁 ....this was end of August 2020.. I'm completely bummed.
Great, Thank you! 🙏🏼
Man..I feel so weird..my ex is contacting me after 1 year,every two days but now I am crazy for another woman..
I hope to get to that point someday
@@kaldea6111 I was dying tocget her back almost a year.Then she contacted me and I saw that it was nothing special and boom.One day after a year feom breakup,I woke up and I was great.I met one great woman and that happened like that,my ex is now contacting me but I don't feel anything even that I wanted her so bad 2 months ago.It will happen,trust me. :)
Next topic : friend with benefit with ex, good idea?
You are the best coach!
rory what if by doing no contact your ex thinks you've moved on and wouldn't want to speak to them so they don't bother reaching out?
This is what an ex said to me after breaking up with me after 4 years...
Rory can you answer me this. My ex broke up with me and it’s been a month. I have been devastated and have been doing no contact. I went to Vegas to get my mind clear and took some photos. My ex blocked me on ig and Snapchat after she saw them. Then I posted a beach trip on Facebook then she deleted me. Why is she doing this if she the one that has broken up with me. I haven’t messaged her or anything. I am beyond confused
Thanks so much Rory.
Right person wrong time is still a wrong person. 🤷🏻♀️
Spot on
Mhh I don't think like tht
Calida 89 ....you don’t ???? Ok
Just discovered your chanel and I'm subscirbing. Thank you so much, your videos are great and are helpping me so much right now
I haven't checked yet, but could you do a video about breaking up during quarentine?
Sure!! Welcome!
YESSSS..... Thank you so much
You are so welcome!
@@TheLoveChat Rory.... You have been the right person at the exact right time for so many of us... I've also been dumped over a month ago but my ex was dragging the breakup on and on... It was to the point that he was controlling me by holding on and making me feel like there 'could be' a future for us but just not now etc etc.... Yet I can't hold onto something I am so unsure of.... He was like making me feel like another option in case things get sour for him. But my relationship with my ex was honestly the best.. There was such a good communication, negotiation and respect between us - it was only after the breakup that I started to not know who he is. I was incredibly conflicted. I saw a counsellor as well like you said in many of your videos and I feel so saved. Thank you oh so much really.... I swear to god I've listened to like 3/4 of your videos by now.... And I'm happy to keep pursuing my individualistic mindset and goals - first jiu jitsu class tonight even!
OMG Rory you and the recent topics make me want to get into a respectable debate. What if the person was a high school sweetheart? How does that tie into the topic?
what if my ex told me we were quite a match but wrong timing? (after we meet 1.5months later in NC since we planned this meeting due to some finances settlement )
In other words, the right person at the wrong time IS the wrong person
Damn! I was wondering why i haven't seen a video from thic chanel for ages. I just discovered that i'm somehow unsubscribed... YT is really getting weird. And i feel like i met my person more under wrong circumstances... ldr sucks
Welcome back!
Planning on a live stream this week?
Yep!
If you're the right person at the wrong time, it's because you're the wrong person to begin with. 🤔
So my gf broke up with me because she has alot on her mind an has no time for affection. How do I deal with moving on when ik she's the one I feel it in my soul
If you walk away from someone who was playing you. Do you really get your power back. Do they really look back at you and say waw they have a lot f self respect !
If you really walk away - and really mean it - it doesn't matter what they think
The Love Chat So true ❤️
Like Rory's video, power is perceived!!
She did ask me why I didn’t came into her life 2 years ago or later in the future I was very confused and still soon I know she end move into a relationship after 3 moths of dating still wanted to be friend??? My lord can you answer this? Thx
my ex sent me a clean slate message (apologizing for breaking up and being thankful) after 3 months of breaking up idk if i should respond but he said i don't need to reply. should i respond?
@Mara i didn't!
Amen 🙏🏽
Hi Rory! Its me again. Just have a question its been a year now since me and my ex broke up. She cheated on me but then she’s the one who hated my so much after I become a better person after the breakup. Why is that so?
She most likely is not interested in reconciliation and so she is being mean to send the message along that she isn't interested. If it's been a year I would begin to focus on bigger and better things!
Maybe she is upset you weren't that better you when she was still with you...
Can I get my ex back if I was a rebound?
Same situation but I don’t think they do since they don’t really pay much attention to the rebound. Rebound is something to help them realize what they lost and get back with an ex or help them to forget about their ex and move on to a new relationship ( not with the rebound) :(. It’s very unfair for the rebound that they are the ones that help them get over the break up and get broken up to at the end.
Nhat - we were together for a year. And I stayed/lived in his house for a few months. Not sure if that means something or not
Amy Dibwa I think the longer you guys were together, there must be more to it for him to reconsider for reconciling. I wish you the best. It’s okay to have hope but keep focusing on yourself, try to heal and move on. When you are healed and confident, I’m sure he will get back to you or you can get someone better :)
Wrong time because of the coronavirus 😕
I need help! So this girl was crazy over me in the beginning when we started dating, she couldn’t leave me alone and even wanted to have my kid before we even get to talk about family. And we been only dating for like 4 months. She bought me clothes, make food, give me massages and she loves my D. Not to brag it’s like she’s obsessed with my D idk. I wasn’t ready to take things that far. She told me about her last relationship and she said she always gets bored with all her previous ex after certain period of time. This 4th of July will be our first year but last month she told me she don’t love me anymore. She ask to stop everything and I said well, love sometimes fade away so I will give you time to go spend times with your friends and be yourself. She basically dump me. I ask her if we can slowly fix this, she said up to you so I was open to putting effort, but I still give her space and time. But we still see other like twice a week or once but this time she’s so disrespectful, everything she do annoys me now. I tried talking and she would just ignored and change completely different subjects. So yesterday I finally said, if you don’t want to love me and don’t want to put effort into this relationship, I’m letting you go, well she already let me go so I was just the only one trying by myself to fix it. I told her, I’m letting you go, let me know if you change your mind. She said I will. That was it. Since that I don’t text her or call her. But she keeps calling me now, I haven’t answer her and she texted me saying “hello” I didn’t respond to it. She’s calling me as I type this smh. So what should I do? Should keep NC or remind her that she can only contact me only if she wants to to fix the relationship. Please help! Thanks Rory for all your video been watching them.
1:47 hahahahahahahhaa
💕💕💕
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Thank you, Rory! Please could you do a video about dreaming about your ex. I think I am moving on and then I dream about them and it takes me back again to the day of breakup. Doing no contact and it’s helping me. 💕
Im pretty sure that he had already made such a video called “your ex and your dreams”
Ditte B thank you! I will search for it. :)
Your welcome :-) I know how it is to look for answers 😔
First!!!