funniest joke you'll hear today about congestive heart failure
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- SUBSCRIBE: bit.ly/2Jg9jc1
Do you get it? Because there's a real good chance this will be the only joke you'll hear today about congestive heart failure. My mom thought it was kinda funny, yours probably won't.
Become a Patron (if you're wacky):
/ mattcolbo
FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: / mattsgoofsandgags
Twitter: / mattcolbo
Check out my cameraman, and often times, cinematographer, Evan:
/ tritwiceev
Thank you to Prospre for supporting the channel!
prospre.io
iOS: apple.co/3nOs8WU
Google Play: play.google.co...
A ridiculously fat thank you to my Patrons:
Kaylee Walton
Lisa Ryder
Obrodo
Alfie Whitcher
Nicole Andrews
Brittany Andrews
Kale Sigurdson
Daniel McPherson
Cormac O'Neill
Karlo Krznaric
Olivia Bogley
Tanisha Hunt
The longest setup ever and he just hit a home run.
Honestly this video felt cringy to me
this video was fukn awesome
The marriage jokes at the beginning were loading up the bases and then he just hit a grand slam at the end
|-/
@@takashimizutani1808 Your mom felt cringy to me
This is the weirdest, smartest, most thought out burn, I have ever heard
Etho is always a good source of those as well. Here is one of my favourite examples: th-cam.com/video/pZK9HQK2kj0/w-d-xo.html
@ I- I was not ready for any of that
For real...
If someone messes with me I will bring this up word for word and that’ll tell them to not get on my bad side 🤓
Just like your heart
It keeps getting progressively more complex. I can’t wait until one day you get to a 30 minute video which just ends with “Your mom”
literally was thinking about this yesterday hahaha, every 4 months or so just posting a your mom joke and each one gets longer lolol
Sasha Lemay He’s been recording it since he posted that comment.
Dave Chappelle?
@@MattColbo Great video, I have to assume it was Tom Scott inspired?
@Sasha Lemay He spent the last 4 months telling that joke to ... your mom.
When he said "There is effectively no way that a human being could gain weight at this rate." I knew that it was a "your mom" joke, but at that time I knew, in my heart, that it was too late. All I could do was brace myself for the final line. I am a fallen soldier in combat, boys.
To be your 70th like would be such a shameful act.
So I'm not going to.
@@matrixphijr Thank you, my good man
Or a civilian playing too much COD online
o7
I did a masters research project in heart failure and this video is legit the best explanation of HF I have ever seen. No joke.
I can't like this, it'll mess up the numbers so I leave a dislike in good will
Well Davidson is a very smooth read on this topic and has a small flowchart taking up a quarter of a page explaining all of this and more💯
@@davebotmkii6895Now you may replace it with a like in good will.
The best thing about this joke is actually learning about an entire medical condition on the journey to the punchline
"maybe the true treasure wasn't the punchline but the medical conditions we learn about on the way"
- Idk like, Jack Sparrow or something
@@znkhwhy2822 lol that actually made me laugh out loud
That’s the only thing about this joke
@@znkhwhy2822 lmfao
The world needs more jokes like this
POV: Your bully is studying to go to med school.
Accurate
i’ll deadass be taking notes 😂😂 while he talks
AU: Your bully is your med school professor.
999th like 😔
Omg how triggering would that be lmaoo
This explained CHF better than a whole semester of nursing course.
Fun fact: CHF is also the abbreviation for the swiss frank
@@CB-lh4ph How many Congestive Heart Failures for a waffle breakfast?
@@CB-lh4ph I was confused bc I thought they were referring to the currency
CB to me I always read it as “cold hammer forged” cause they use that abbreviation for it on gun barrels
Aside from the "left heart / right heart" thing...
When the jock has actually been listening to the nerd who's tutoring him and found a love of STEM
I don't think medicine is part of STEM.
@Smells Ahoy! I just finished a bachelor of science and medicine had nothing to do with it. I think traditionally STEM doesn't include medicine.
Medicine is science, but not all science is medicine @Tavis Bennett
@@lifeontheledgerlines8394medicine is medicine. It is certainly debatable whether medicine is included in STEM. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Science,_technology,_engineering,_and_mathematics
@@lifeontheledgerlines8394 Research is science. The actual practice of medicine? Mostly opinion and guesswork, educated though they might be.
He dribbled out the entire 24 second shot clock crossing every player up twice and then ran back to the half court line and hit a fade away nothing but net
Call him Matt _Curry._
Not only that i laughed, but i also learned something. I appreciate you burning the hell out of me with this mom joke.
oh any time my friend ANY TIME
@@MattColbo even NOW?
@@Anankin12 Why not now?
Totally unrelated but hi Vukašin this is the first time I see someone with my name on the internet it is truly an honour
“burning the hell out of me”
Hmmmmmmmmm
I was just educated by a “your mama” joke
This is why I love the internet
Same
@Hamster Pile I would be there wheezing with you. Partly at the fact that you decided to share it while the whole class just looked at you, bc u thought it was funny. I see that as an admirable quality
Yo mama*
Thanks for the spoiler
@Hamster Pile who doesnt read the comments while watching?
So this is what a cross between Tom Scott's and my channel would look like.
all I need is a skeleton in the background and slightly less fashionable jeans
Edit Note: The jeans comment was referencing Tom, not you Rohin, i'm sure you have the best jeans ;)
Never thought to find you here. This is great
Ah, now I know why this is in my recommendations. Medlife mentions Tom. And thus an easy task for the algorithm to assign it to me. 😁
All the time I was thinking Rohin didn't have any jeans on.
*galaxy brain*
Such a random Rohin sighting!
As someone who scans hearts for a living, this is actually surprisingly accurate.. Well done, Matt.
thanks Edwin! :)
I not only laughed, I spun on my chair and clapped while laughing. Then I turned back to say "Good joke sir" and the video had ended. The pacing of the punchline made my day.
I feel like I’m watching a Tom Scott video but he’s also insulting me.
Educational passive agressiveness is quite a nice medium
Ever played portal? Yeah that
I thought the same! His speech patterns sound oddly similar
i literally found this video from a tom scott vid
Sooo true!
“Well gee golly, I mustn’t have enough fluid”
Best part of the video let’s face it
My grandmother after 3 hours of figuring out why her car stopped running
Lol
Turns out my body is a boy in a 1950s sitcom, who knew!
I love how indiscriminately the video cuts. The joke doesn't even need to finish, we all already know the punchline.
why are you punching the line
@@Yikeowsky called my momma fat >:[
@@doofs damn... that sure does suck
@@Yikeowsky No body calls my momma fat except ma dad :>]
What is actually the punchline tho?
It took me until 2:01 to realize it was a your mom joke lmfaoooo
Of all the congestive heart faliure jokes in history, this is most certainly one of them.
Showed this to my dad. He has congestive heart failure and cardiomyopathy. He laughed so had he stopped moving.
Not funny, didn't laugh
Well I laughed out loud, sir, thank you.
...has he started moving again?
@@PurtyPurple probably, just only by losing weight and falling off the chair because no one cared enough to check in on him
My dad actually does have heart problems. He’s coping with it though. He likes to makes jokes about it to keep things light.
I came into this expecting absolutely nothing, but I'm leaving with a huge grin on my face, thank you.
I want to send this to my mother, because this is exactly her type of humor
Problem is, my grandmother died from CHF back in June, and it feels a little too soon
Can someone please reply to this comment in March 2021 to remind me to send her this? That should be enough time
UPDATE: We did it guys! I showed this to my mother and she laughed. Mission accomplished, time to celebrate!
If I'm alive, I'll remind you
Ok, I'll set a google calendar event. If I don't reply by january 31st, 2021 and this video hasn't gone viral burying this comment, assume I died horribly.
Commenting to see if this happens
@@randomlyrapid8996 I actually saved the link to this video and made a Google Calendar event, it will happen if I don't die
I'm just going to put this here
it's depressing that you are 100% correct from start to finish, every second of the video, painfully true.
It warms my heart to know that bullies don't have to be dumb jocks anymore. You Gen Zers have really broken down all preconceived social walls
So this guy's sitting in class on his way through medical school. On the day he learns congestive heart failure can lead to rapid weight gain, he sees the potential for a killer joke. It might take a little bit of setup, he thinks, but it'll be worth it.
This is the result.
KILLER JOKE
ChubbyEmu would be proud
Worth it!
This was by far the most elaborate yo mama joke I have ever heard
"much like your parent's decision to try and save their marriage by having well... you."
Pfft jokes on you. My parents married because I was born.
oh... oh no
Oop, we got a bastard ova here!
Jkjk, I'm sure you're very much loved.
same lol
same 😗✌️
@@Angel_Kittichik they love me from time to time yea
My mom and an uncle were both recently hospitalized due to fluid based weight gain. Your explanation helped pull together all the things I’ve heard over the past few months. After being given diuretic via IV my mom lost 3 pounds overnight.
this is one of those jokes where it takes so long for the punchline that you will be like "can you say that again?"
Making this joke is the equivalent of trying to reach the word number requirement on a school paper.
Exactly
Congestive heart failure, my favourite comedy
file it under comedy you didn't know you loved
@@MattColbo Y E S
this literally was the most intelligently put your mom joke i’ve every heard
it’s a shame my mom hasn’t came back from the milk trip to hear it
big papi gay this is good
I used this in my science class. I had to do a project on the circulatory system, so I memorized an abridged version and let it loose. That was a good day.
Perhaps the best video on this platform.
This should be included in a comedy doctor show
"come, let me check out your funny bone"
MattColbo you made me sad
Reminds me of something Cox from Scrubs would say
Awkward silence for 2 minutes and 16 seconds...
1 second later.... Uncontrollable laughter
That's a great idea! They could name it after the clothing doctors wear, something like "White Coats" or... "Scrubs!"
I feel personally attacked.
10/10 would watch again.
You go into it knowing the inevitable outcome but you must remember: it's about the journey, not the destination with Mr. Colbo
Rick gets it
This beats out all the other jokes about congestive heart failure I’ve heard today.
You sir are the king of yo momma jokes, this man just took me on a 2:17 trip about CHF just to end it with a yo momma joke ngl tho I actually learned something
I’ve got a teacher who stops class for the entire day to let you do, well, whatever you want, cancelling all work and homework that day as long as you can make him laugh out loud. He’s been at the school for 50 years and barely anyone had gotten him to do it.
I’m 1000% sure this’d do it
But it’s too damn long for me to memorize lmao
PLEEAASE try
Just show him the video
I believe in you
Did it work?
Him: “your mom”
*video ends*
Ad: “ oh oh oh oh reily, auto parts, wooah”
To me it was more of Yow!
More of an ow to me
yea it was an OW
I thought it was ow
This was the funniest joke i've heard about chf today because it's the only joke about chf i've heard today.
it's the only joke about chf I've heard ever.
@LittleRedRhuari RRR shut up :)
@@drhentai :(
Man, i sure do love when a yo mama joke comes out of nowhere. Honestly the best way to play thst joke.
Why did it take me exactly 1 year to find this masterpiece of a video?
Cool video, Matt. Is it just me or it looks like you're imitating Tom Scott. Keep up the good work 👍 - a random fan from Québec
Edit:
Whoahhhhh thank you so much for 394 likes. Unbelievable! ☺️ Well...turns out I'm a fortune-teller now 😂. Time to make 2021 predictions!
hahaha not directly an imitation, but damn i love Tom
@@MattColbo Don't we all.
@@MattColbo If only you had yelled "one take!" at the end of it
Fast forward 4 months...
This comment is prophetic.
I like to imagine this is the American college-student version of Tom Scott.
SB Gaming , Americans don't say against like that 0:41
Canadian
Haha "American"
Haha "American"
@@Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj630 Canada is in North America lol
I clicked on this video for a joke on congested heart failure, and yet I got so much more
Best explanation on TH-cam. You’ve got a gift!
I’ll admit- that gave me a massive stupid grin. Well done!
Ha! Cool. Assuming you are healthy, your heart when working normally, acts, sort of like a pump or rather, two pumps you see, your right heart expands to draw deoxygenated blood in from the body, and contracts to pump it out to the lungs to become oxygenated. And at the same time, your left heart draws in oxygenated blood from the lungs and then pumps it out to the rest of your stupid, misshapen bod. Now sometimes, irregularities can occur that prevent your heart from pumping properly. “Congestive Heart Failure,” is an interesting one. Say, your heart loses some of its contractile force due to high blood pressure, for example, this will result in the pooling of blood in your left heart, or left ventricle chamber, and in response to this, the cells in your left ventricle will enlarge to push against the higher circulatory resistance caused by the increase of blood pressure, which is a great solution, but only in the short term. Much like your parents’ decision to try and save their marriage by having, well, you. But because of these enlarged cells, the left ventricle chamber then becomes much smaller resulting in less blood being able to fill into it and because the blood coming into the left ventricle has nowhere to go, it begins to back up into the lungs and from there, because it’s all a cycle, it’ll back up into the right heart and then, you’ve got congestive heart failure on your hands. Not unlike, how the incessant, heated disagreements between your timeworn mother and father is also, on your hands. The name “congestive” heart failure though is apt because fluid then leaks into your alveolar air spaces making it difficult to breathe, and with all this, blood pressure increases, yet again, and the original hypertrophy of muscle cells in your left ventricle is no longer a help, and since the contractile force of your heart has decreased, it certainly can’t pump against the new, much higher resistance and because of that, your body, in response to the heart not pumping sufficient blood, thinks: “Well gee golly, Ha, I mustn’t have enough fluid!” so it tells your kidneys then, to return any liquid you take in, meaning you’ll retain a lot more water, which has to go somewhere, so it leaks into your legs, abdomen, and all over the body, and can result in the gaining of 2-3 pounds (0.9-1.3kg), per day! Which, as you can imagine, will cause rapid accumulation of total body weight and after just one month, someone afflicted by this disease could amass up to 100(45kg) extra pounds! There is effectively no way that a human being could gain weight at this rate, by any other mechanism. And that is why, it seems as though it is the only rational explanation as to what must be happening to your mom.
my heart is gone :((
Bro holy shit, thank you lol this must have taken ages
Le do Mhaim bro can you not copy comments anymore?
Respect for typing this out
Raccoon On A Rampage no ur not able to but i just screenshotted it, went into google translate app set language French to English, put the picture in and I just copied the translation which was just the comment itself
BROOOO THANK YOU
I have conflicting feelings about this. IDK If I should laugh more, be educated or offended.
Great job Matt
Greetings from Argentina btw
@@Chaarlie11 hahaha i love it! thanks my friend, say hello to some Argentinians for me!:)
Imagine walking around and this guy comes up to you and tells this joke.
Brilliant!! Im a nurse and this is the best overall description ever of CHF.
“All that for a drop of blood.”
-Thanos, Infinity War (2018)
"Your left/right heart"
Dude is talking to me like I'm a timelord
He means ventricle chamber
Top tip. Don't say this to someone who's mother has heart problems. They may cry.
Oops
Yeah, of course, don't joke about people's issues with them.
He's like an alternate universe Weird Al who became a doctor instead of a musician.
Well i.do know your frother.and your brother name branndon.thibodeau.and your sister name cryistal thibodeau yes i do know you.3 kids i had as little babys they.were in a fosters homes when you was kids i might be your birth mom that had you 3
I had 2 sons.and.a.doughter with your dad i was marryed to him. One time along timeago i had. a.baby name matthew john..thibodeau.a nother baby name branndon john thibodeau so.was your.dads wife im his ex wife. Would make your mom. Your real mother now so im looking.for my kids that i put them up befor and know them.as kids. John thibodeau was my housband along time but your dad is marryed to. Jannis thibodeau now i know her.to. on face.book
Ask for. Barbara may thibodeau. Ok matt. I used to call my son.matt when he was a kid. And matthew
This feels like a Tom Scott video with anxiety
I was wondering how you would pull off a ur mom joke while talking about this... you didn't fail to surprise me
As soon as he mentioned weight I knew the end result, when he started tracing the blood and other stuff I was guessing it was to do with something increasing.
I learned more about the heart just now than i have in all my years in school, and this is an educational video where you get insulted, if you think about it, if teachers taught like this kids would actually remember these things because either they were laughing at someone else when they learned something or they were being traumatized 😂 A+ every time
This is exactly what Einstein says to you once you roast him and then he comes up with a comeback.
Underrated comment!
I love how Matt goes on an entire university lecture, to set up a yo mama fat joke
I like that the title suggests that you will probably hear more congestive heart failure jokes after today and they will most likely be funnier than this one.
Damn. He got me. I wasn't prepared for a "yo mama joke" like this
0:47 bold of you to assume that i was a decision
This dude did not just only teach you more about biology than any teacher could do in those 2 Minutes and 17 seconds, no. He also roastes half of a Million people in that amount of time. I'm impressed
This video is simply incredible the way it is delivered is without question simply amazing!
This is legit the most elaborate and complex Your Mom joke I've ever heard
My husband's mom died from congestive heart failure when he was little... Not going to show him this...
@@heartcomedy5 haaaaa😅
@@heartcomedy5 she died b4 they got married idiot. She was never his mother in law
Good call.
@Robert Sallow, lol
Ngl this is the very first your mom joke that made me “chuckle”. The rest is just “😑”.
The first ‘your mom’ joke that I have A) been fully invested in, and B) laughed out loud at
Thank you
I need this guy teaching my college classes.
my favourite channel
im happy
thank u
thank you hchxvj ucuffu
Gaining 3 pounds a day is not heart failure, it is lockdown.
1:40 my abusive father after his 13th pint of beer
I've never been so invested in a video like this one
when your highschool bully goes to college to get a Ph.D. and goes to medical school for 8 years, has a successful fulfilling life so he can professionally tell you your mother is fat
These are by far my favorite videos you produce! Short and sweet and right to the point! Very good job! I don’t think some people may realize the effort put into these videos, even though they are short. Keep up the good work! You are gonna make it big!
Ryan Stackpole thanks Stacksy! That’s very nice of you, this one certainly did take a while lol, appreciate the kind words buddy
How come I know the end of the joke before you even get started?
Comments be like: “you weren’t searching for this video, it was in your recommended” “who gets this in 2020?” “When a video is this short, you know its gonna be a good one”
I searched for this video
I did search for this 5 or 6 separate times, the first one I was binge watching Matt
This was a your mom joke. A 2 minute 17 second mom joke. Time in my life I will never get back. And it was possibly the best 2 minutes and 17 seconds of my life. I'm laughing so hard I might be crying. This is the peak of humanity, the best think that I could ever hoped to have gained.
By far the funniest joke I've heard
About heart failure
“ Much like your parents’ decision to try and save their marriage by having, well, *you* “
“Well gee golly I musn’t have enough fluid”
A highly complex subject just to make a mom joke...
Worth it
The delivery is perfect.
The wind was literally going wild as this guy was roasting my entire existence. Damn! Thanks life
Ceeya all when this is randomly recommended to everyone
I'm here now
It just did.
Yes
Hi it is me, the person
Actually yes, that is what was happening to my mom. Thank you for helping us save her.
Thank you been looking for jokes about congestive heart failure all day
That's BRILLIANT! You might've just saved my mom's life!
“Assuming you are healthy...”
What do you mean ‘assume’?👀
That's what shé said
... all the time I was expecting you to break into:
"or - is it? Hey! Vsauce, Michel here...."
I involuntarily heard the "VSauce intrigue" chord while reading this.
"Can we have Tom Scott?"
"We have Tom Scott at home"
Tom Scott at home:
The only educational video that insults your entire family and existance at the same time it educates you
This is a work of art
Ah. The child of Chubyemu and Tom Scot
bwahahaha! nice! ...I will say the cadence of the build up is very "Michael, VSauce here"-like :D
Cheers!
hahaha love that, thank you Gabriel!
I literally didn't understand a thing except "to ur mom" 🤣
Khemiri Adam , Yo mama so fat she must have a bad heart!
hmmm, not quite the same effect.