Here is what Ren has said about this song/video: 1) "This was shot with no budget at the end of a frickin ' freezing October, felt like I was going to get hypothermia lying on cold slate for a few hours, serious case of mind over matter but so happy with how it turned out :) The song came about after a nervous breakdown following lots of visits to emergency room after some scary health problems. It's a song for anybody who has faced any kind of mental challenges, depression, anxiety, or health struggles while in a relationship and all the fears that come along for the ride with that. It is also a song for the courageous and wonderful people who support their other halves, family or friends during times of crisis :) In whatever context I hope my music can help take some of the weight from anyone suffering and help people feel less alone." 2) "This song is probably my favorite from the first ever album I put out It's called crutch. Weeks before I wrote this I had come out of multiple visits to the emergency room, I didn't know I had lyme disease yet and thought I was loosing my mind. To be transparent I was really scared being this sick, frail, crazy person would make me unlovable. My girlfriend Bibi at the time had been witnessing some of the hardest things I went through, and I was really scared it would push her away. I wanted to write something which put my fears to music, and this song was the end result. We filmed this during a cold October, when I was very underweight, but I wanted the video to be exposing, not shying away from the parts of me that repulsed myself. I think thats whats really powerful about art, it doens't always have to be comfortable, and sometimes the things we think are really ugly, can be alchemised into something that contains beauty."
@@smokedog2185 My interpretation, based on what he said above, is that she was there and then disappeared, because the song represents his fear that he would lose her. To me, imagining her doesn't seem consistent with what he said here.
@@sharoncarlisle9453 tbh the only reason a thought she could've never really been their, just in his head, cos how he still holds his hands up to her face after she disappears like she could've just been in his head all along, then at end just to show us she did end up leaving him when things got bad
@@smokedog2185 I think the video is vague enough to leave room for the listener's interpretation, so who knows. As far as real life goes, I don't know anything about why they didn't stay together. Ren has not shared that, which I think is a good thing. I do know that Biibi set up and ran the go fund me to help raise the money for his stem cell procedure, so it seems like she was around for awhile after this song.
Woman in the chat here. For me, personally, vulnerability is strength. Honesty is strength. Accepting help is strength. There's also a fine line between being supportive of someone and being swallowed up for someone. BOTH partners need support when one person is struggling so deeply but it's worth it. We're all human. Loved this reaction and discussion. As a woman it was great hearing your perspective and personal experiences.
Yep. Male/female inter-relationships vary. Men who always present as a rock, attract women who expect and need that. They aren't being selfish, they're living out the script their parents gave them. Speaking for myself, I wouldn't get involved with a man who thought he needed to "take the lead" and "shield" me. The minute I sniffed that out, I was gone, because it implies a man who CAN'T share, and who can't be vulnerable. If you START by sharing, you'll find a woman who values it. That doesn't mean first date, but at the first appropriate serious moment. And those moments are always there, but usually get buried under bravado.
It's a shame that society has made our men shut down. When my husband and I thought our beautiful pet, Brio, our Australian shepherd, was going to die of cancer, he cried in front of me and it gave me a deeper respect and love for him. I felt more connected to him than ever before. Thank you BP for showing your underbelly much respect!
If you can't show your weakness in front of your partner without judgement, you're with the wrong partner or perhaps you underestimate your partner. A good cry can be very healing male or female! Your Mum sounds amazing ❤❤ Your Dad too.
I’d recommend never, ever exposing yourself to any woman to that extent. It won’t fix anything and it will sooner or later just bring trouble and that trouble will be double.
@@supertuscans9512very sad that you feel that way. You must've had some real shitty women in your life. I can assure you there are plenty who will stand by their man at his weakest point just like in this video, I hope someday you come across the lady who changes your mind 💜
@@supertuscans9512 Jesus! If you're not trolling i genuinely feel bad for you. I don't feel sorry for you because it sounds like you don't deserve sympathy... So i just feel bad for you that you think like that.
Yes , her effort meant Ren could go to Germany and finally get a diagnosis of Lyme disease and start on the journey of a stem cell transplant which turned his life around back to the land of the living .
Finally! One of my absolute favourites. Just stunning. It’s such a perfect expression of agony in lyrics, voice, music, and even the video. Breathtaking and heart wrenching.
It is astonishing and beautiful to see the impact of Ren and his music to BP and many other people! If you went down the rabbithole with BP from the beginning you have witnessed BP, the badass rapper and great reactor, becoming BP the human with empathy who still is a badass rapper and great reactor. But in my eyes now a lot closer to the audience/viewers! BP thank you and of course Don for sharing your thoughts and emotions everytime. ❤❤❤ Much love for your families Peace and love from Germany
Absolutely spot on my friend. BP is the first "Reactor" channel I've ever subscribed to.... Found BP/Don as I discovered Ren (Patron Saint of the ill and infirm) Inviting us to be privy to BPs life is, quite simply, Brave. Love to see the growth. ❤❤❤
I’m going through it with my husband of 24 years. He’s MY crutch and has been for 24 years and more so the last 10. He’s starting to fray at the seams and I’m trying my damndest to step up where I can and ease the little things I can manage. It’s fecking hard to remember your partner’s struggles when you’re curled up mentally and physically in the fetal position. In moments of clarity and shame you realise you have to step up if you are exhausted or not. You have to. There’s no turning your back unless you’re a senseless, narcissistic waste of space. Honesty, vulnerability, strength of character forged in fire makes for a completely different bond between a husband and wife. My father told me when I was little that our family are not quitters. That lessons stayed with me for life. This song absolutely eviscerates me and puts me back together. It epitomises the fears that every broken soul in a relationship goes through but also acknowledges the struggles that their ‘crutch’, their partners and carers go through nd applauds them and acknowledges the damage and the fight they go through to stay or go. Beautiful songwriting and imagery and a metaphor for life. Loved you both opening up . Great reaction as always BP and Don. Cheers from Australia.
When I was 25 (I'll be 43 in 4 days), I married someone who was 40, and I barely knew. We met, fell in love quickly, and eloped. We got married on September 25th. On October 25th, exactly one month to the day later, he had a grand mal seizure. It sent his heart into an irregular rhythm, which then caused full cardiac arrest. He was technically dead for 13 minutes. I did CPR waiting for the ambulance, and when they finally arrived, they had to shock him 3 times before they got a heartbeat. They put him in a medically induced coma and told me that the brain damage would be too great *if* he woke up. At best, he would be in a vegetative state. A shell of who he was. His mom and dad rushed to our city, and they sat me down on our couch and told me I should leave him. "You're only 25. You don't need to be changing his diapers and being his caretaker at such a young age." They meant well, but I told them there was no chance I'd be going anywhere. His sweet mom smiled and said, "I hoped you'd say that." He woke up and basically became a medical miracle, but sadly, he did end up with brain damage that affected his personality. He became cruel and violent, especially toward my 3 year old. That's when I had to leave. It was around 7 months after his release from the hospital. From what I understand, he's back to his old self. He's happy in a new relationship, as am I. We were brought together so his (then) 14 year old son wouldn't have to live without his dad. My purpose in his life was solely October 25th, and I'm ok with that. Our lives now are happy, fulfilled, and beautiful. I'm honored to have been a part of his (and his beautiful family) life. It wasn't his fault that he became violent. It was literal brain damage. But I had to protect my child. I will always protect my children above all else. I hope he's doing well now. He deserves happiness and peace. I hated that I had to leave, but even his parents agreed that I needed to. Such beautiful, loving people.
Thanks for opening up BP. Emotions are one of the things that make us human. We should never feel ashamed of showing others how we feel. If we dont then were hiding who we truly are from the people we love.
Honestly, I don't want a man who feels he has to hide his emotions from me. That connection is so real when fears are shared and it is a safe place for both ❤
I know from previous videos that you probably debated whether to post this one, just wanted to say huge props to you on putting this out there and opening up. Both you guys should take great pride in what you’re doing and sharing so much with those of us who have found the channel, great reaction guys and I love the funny ones and they always make me laugh but these ones are powerful!
A moving reaction, guys. Thank you for being so respectful of Ren’s willingness to show us his vulnerabilities. On a side note: women of substance do not find it off-putting when men display their emotions. Quite the contrary. In fact, that’s what makes Ren so relatable.
My parents were married for 63 years before my Dad passed away, they stuck together through everything and I am proud to say they are my parents, My Dad cried maybe 5 times in front of my Mom and she held him to say its ok things will work out. Never be ashamed to show all emotions we are all human
So glad you got to the takeaways you did at the end. The whole “red pill” tip you were talking about initially feels like it is just a caricature of real life and real people and real relationships. I really resonate with everything you were talking about toward the end. As a woman in a relationship with my husband starting very young and lasting over 20 years now, and witnessing all kinds of frailty, and tears, and emotions, and fears in my husband, I can say that not all women are scared away by that. Can it be scary? Yes. But it all comes down to trust. I have to trust my husband enough to know that him expressing his fears and sadness to me does not mean he’s crumbling and will abandon me or destroy himself, and he has to trust me that showing me his fear and sadness won’t freak me out so much that I run away. And it goes both ways. I highly recommend therapy. Both of us have had extensive individual therapy and we’ve also done couples therapy. It can really help. Because before you can put that kind of trust in someone else, you have to first learn to trust yourself. And that is the root of it all.
It's incredible how much emotion Ren's music evokes, and how differently everyone interprets it. Really love the conversation between you two and how I (we) get to know you. Huge hug to you both❤.
Nice reaction, guys, I could see that it impacted you both very much. BP, your dad stood by his woman until the day she died. I stood by my husband as he battled brain cancer, and I held his hand as he died. Someone told me something that gave me comfort, that my husband loved me until the day he died. ❤️😓
It's happened to me twice. I cared for my first husband for 1.5 years as he suffered terminal illness. 20 years later I cared for my second husband for the same amount of time as he battled lung cancer. I was there with them both as they died. They said I was their rock. I felt like mush but they thought of me as a rock. It's what we do for each other, it's not a male/female thing. I will say, I'm never doing it again. No more partners for me. It's been too tough.
@@Dstinii I'm so sorry you had to go through this twice. We are their rocks but we sure don't feel like it when it's happening. I'm with you on I don't ever want to go through this again with anybody else.
@BlackPegasus: I feel you and appreciate your lovely and hard memories... My Mom and Dad met and fell in love when they were 14 years old - when my Mom lost her fight against cancer after 4 heavy years, he held her hand and cried with her - after being her crutch and helping her with everything she needed help, as you describes...she died four months before her 80th birthday. This is 11 years ago but the wounds of her torture aren't healed yet and after they spent their life together - my Dad is lost in a way, we can't heal either. Their love, trust and company (allthough they had hard times and a lot of struggle with each other) give a lot of to think about and wish for... Next month is my Dads 91 birthday and now he is weak, suffering some health issues and a lot of pain - he'd like to die, but isn't "sick enough"...feel so sorry for him and can't help him or take away his pain - wish him all the best...wish he could sleep and finally find peace, like my beloved Mom did...😓
@StelFiRu Thank you for sharing 💕 I will hold this close to my heart for when my husband with terminal cancer reaches the end. I will also be there, holding his hand and remembering your words.
@@giuliettamiller2797 oh no, I'm so sorry for you and your husband. 😓 It's a devastating journey, one that we sign on for but are never ready when it happens. 🫂
I think Don's got it right. There's limits to everything. You can have a crutch, but you can't fall over and expect to be held up by a person who also has their own things to deal with.
Hmm, i don't know about that. I feel like i can fall on my partner and she will (and has) propped me up) but the same goes/went the other way. In a strong relationship where both people have shit to deal with it's not "i can't support you because i have my own shit to deal with". It's "Thank you for supporting me with this, i got you when you need me to prop you up".
GOOD NEWS GUYS! The story behind this video is actually a GOOD one. Bibi did date Ren. If you look at the beginning of the video he’s laying on the ground. In real life, she got him to stand up again. Even though they broke up, she supported him helped raise money so that he could get treatment. She got him on his feet again. In a relationship, you should be able to go back-and-forth, when one partner is down the other can be there for them and vice versa. If a woman can’t handle you at your worst, she cannot have you at your best. She’s not entitled to it!!! In my opinion, there’s nothing stronger than a man that is not a shamed or a bashed at sharing his weaknesses or crying! People don’t realize that a marriage takes work. They give up too soon. Throw it out like a used tissue. If you really take your vows seriously that means you have to put in the work you’re not just gonna have happiness all your life just as you’re not gonna have happiness throughout your marriage. You deserve to find a partner that thinks this way and put it into practice.
As a woman I believe there is absolutely no shame in a man crying , showing his emotions, take a look at James blunt monsters if you haven't already , I have watched many reactions to that and have seen many male reactors cry ! And not just cry a few tears either ! I also agree with the other ladies here ❤
If a crutch is used for too long it will break! Some days I can only give 10% so hubby gives 90%, the next day maybe he can do 20% so I give 80%, and some days we both give 110%. 44 years together and still in love can't be bad. Huge respect to you both guys, you are helping so many with Ren's music ❤️ and your honesty/chats are so refreshing, keep up the amazing work xxx
This is one of my favorite songs. I hate it - but I also love it. I have watched the video so many times and every time my heart breaks. Loneliness can be interpreted into so many different life circumstances - and I think we can all relate in one way or another I haven't seen your reaction yet - as I write here. I'm really looking forward to it - you two can do something very special together, so I think you'll once again deliver a fantastic conversation
This song and video is beautiful but also heartbreaking. The struggle and the literal pain both physical and mental Ren is enduring just destroys me 😢. BP I am sorry for your loss I can see how it still haunts you. I lost my dad when I was 12 and I still miss him. Don I truly believe you will have another chance at love. All we can do is be our true selves. Y’all are awesome! Thanks for being you! ❤❤
So glad you guys covered this one. I absolutely love this song and it makes me cry. I cry because of having a chronic pain that I feel like I can be a burden to my hubby and I cry seeing how thin Ren was just knowing all he has gone through. The end of the video for me means she got him on his feet and even if she is gone (which Bibi and him did eventually breaking up) he is at least on his feet. BP seeing you open up like this is so touching. Lots of love to you both!
#Donjuanabe ..."shield them from these burdens so they don't have to carry them with me..." Maybe they would want to, because they love you. Maybe it's not an act of kindness. Maybe they would love to take on those burdens with you. After all, you just said that trying to keep their burdens light is the greatest act of love you know to do in those moments. So flip that around to their perspectives. Great reaction, great talk guys.
As a mother of 3 boys and wife of a man who suffers with his mental health, this conversation needs to be had more often. Bringing males up to have the comfortable space to bare their souls without fear of rejection in a world where we are conditioned to be strong and silent is not an easy gig. They have the benefit of a father who is willing to show them that still waters run deep. Much love to you both for doing this reaction. It's a beautifully sad song about vulnerability that shouldn't be a burden for ourselves to carry alone but often it is.
Bibi Lea-Ding was his girlfriend from 2014. She raised money to send him to the US for his first treatments. She's a tattoo artist. They follow each other on socials. Unsure if still together or not.
You mutha fuq'ers got me crying again. I have listened to this song enough times that it doesn't make me cry every time I hear it, but then you two had to go and say some real stuff that didn't just hit close to home, it hit the bullseye. So thank you and F you at the same time.
Top 10 Ren reaction for a Ren song that might not be in my top 10. Normally I just watch a reaction to see someone go “damn that’s dope” to justify my own opinions, but you guys actually elevated his song with this reaction, well done fellas
As a woman who has four brothers, I feel as though i have never believed in my heart that a man showing his emotions is a weakness. Are all of his emotions a weakness or just fear and sorrow ? I really appreciated hearing from men's perspectives . I do feel that feeling the need to protect your spouse from your fears lest she is overwhelmed by them is understandable, but this means that she won't fully know you . And at some point may be blind sided by what you are feeling. Also sometimes we just might surprise you. . I also to not want to negate the reality that many women are confused about what a "REAL" man is . This is definitely a nuanced, and complex conversation. The video is fire . For at least the first 5 times i watched it i cried . Even as a woman I have worried about not being well physically and emotionally in front of loved ones for fear of being a burden ( i have struggled with cronic pain ) .Unfortunately there is often a sense of shame attached. That is a whole nother conversation . Thank you so much for opening up about how many men are feeling on this subject , and BP i am sorry to here about your moms' battle with cancer , and i was very moved to hear about how you Dad stuck with her in the trenches. There is so much to learn from your parents lives and Love . Thank you again , this time for sharing a very personal story with us .
Everything that y’all said make me realize how lucky I am to have a wife that consoles me on my down days. I work 60-72 hours a week and there’s times where I just HATE IT and want time with my family but being the only income for my wife and 3 kids makes it hard but being the man I know what I gotta do. This song and conversation hit me, thanks for the great reaction as always. Peace and love to everyone ✌️❤
BP. I don't always agree with your views (I cringe every time you say plandemic). I stumbled across you on the Hi Ren rabbit hole and despite our differences, I stuck with you because of the way you've reacted and found inspiration through his life and songs and I don't want to add to social media's algorithm effects by blocking out anybody with differing opinions to my own. I want a balance. I've just watched this reaction and want you both to know what an incredibly powerful piece of work you have put out. I don't care if we think differently about some things, you deserve massive respect for what I've just watched. Love to you both and thank you.
What a beautiful reaction ❤. You should be allowed to be open with your partner, male or female, and be supported. This song always hits hard, being someone whose partner left during my toughest time and I had to survive without that support. Thanks for being you ❤❤
Emotions are cathartic. Keeping them bottled up can make you forget they exist. I know you think that to be strong, man have to pretend there’s nothing ever wrong. While I think there is value in a “fake it til you make it” mentality sometimes, intimacy is important in a relationship. While men tend to think of intimacy as physical/sexual, emotional intimacy is what keeps you tied with your partner when the honeymoon part of dating matures. My husband is my person because he shares the burdens of my lows, and celebrates the happiness of my successes. But I think it’s hollow if I don’t get to do the same for him. It’s normal and healing to let yourself cry over your mom, btw. I’m a mammo tech, I’ve known hundreds of women diagnosed with breast cancer. She fought it for 15 years. Incredible. She was a warrior and I’m happy you speak of her and keep her memory alive. Think about all the people in your community who get to know how amazing she was. ❤
Wow, wow you guys I’m so glad you show your emotions. I’m going to tell you my story. I have 5 siblings, we grew up in forties and fifties. Totally different era , the one you talk about often, the lines were clear husband was the provider the protecter , the wives were the home makers the guardians of the souls the peace makers. I lost my husband of 52 years 7 years ago. Call me old fashioned, but I wanted and needed that strength that he provided. There were times in our marriage when ups and downs, but we were real partners in every sense, if he was down I lifted him up and vice versa . It is possible to have that kind of relationship even today, just really be honest with each other. With the one, nothing I mean nothing was off limits to share, even if we were uncomfortable for a moment. And by the way my siblings are all still married 65-63-60-60, I would of been 59 and my brother 53 . I know it’s unheard of now a days. But it’s possible. I pray for the young couples of today. BP and Don much love and respect from Great Grandma ❤️❤️❤️👵🏼
This raw, and authentic video has me bawling like a baby. BP, I'm extremely sorry for the hell your mom & ur family endured. Your mom is a warrior! My parents were married 30 yrs when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I knew they loved each other (obviously) but i didn't realize how deep that love was until my dad was bedridden, and my mom left her job and did EVERYTHING for my father. Watching that type of love, shook me to my core, and I'll never forget her being by his side until he passed away in the living room. To know that she lost her soulmate, her best friend, the person she grew up with, breaks my heart. I was there when my dad took his last breath, i was holding his hand. That's real life stuff that sticks with you forever. My perspective on life changed and i choose, like you and Don, to find the beauty in the struggle. Much love as always ❤️
I think the beginning bit with Bibi is the romantic idea of supporting somebody through a mental crisis and the second bit is the grim reality. Stunning.
I hear that if you share with your partner you might lose your relationship and Don experienced this. But I just want to say you aren't losing, you are moving forward to find a partner that WILL be there for you in the way you need (and vice versa). You were worth more than having your pain rejected. This is a great conversation.
The story of Black P's parents was everything. What I get from the video is that Ren wanted her to be as strong, loving, and compassionate as your father was to take care of your mother through cancer. It's not that it's too much to ask of a life partner, it's that life is filled with people (men AND women) who don't have the capacity of your father. Black P, not only did your mother's cancer teach you what medical treatments are appropriate for your daughter, but your father taught you how to do anything to take care of your baby. It sounds like both of your parents are responsible for teaching you to be a man, a husband and a father. I'm blessed by you sharing this story today.
I share everything with my wife. We have such a deep connection that we can share the most sincere or disturbing thoughts of our psyche. To me, if you can’t share your full self with someone, they aren’t worth it. Tears don’t make you less of a man. Awesome song. Thanks for your honesty and deep insights. ❤
Guys, I love you. As humans, I just love you. ❤ I've been following your channel for a little while now, and I always look for your reactions because they're fun. This is my favorite reaction of yours to date. Hands down. The humanity of it. It's just... thank you. We lost our 3 year old on the tail end of me nearly losing my own life. I don't have to wonder what caliber man I have. I KNOW. He helped me when I couldn't walk, talk, eat, toilet, bathe, or even breathe by myself. He stuck with me through all of it. And just when we thought we were on the steady road to recovery, the day I came home from the hospital, we lost our son violently. I know he shields me from the full force of his grief. He leans on me... but only to a degree. He allows me to fully open up the bottomless chasm of pain, but releases from himself only enough of his personal torture to make sure I know it's there and that he identifies. There are times I feel like he's sort of closed off from me. I wish I could peek behind that door and see the depths. He allows me to look through the keyhole but not open it. He walks that fine line you both described, of wanting to collapse into my arms but also wanting to be the strong arms that hold me. Again. Thank you. You described something I know he struggles with. And I know he does it for me, for our children. I have a GOOD man. You guys are good men, too. You have a lot of integrity, personal growth, and desire to BE the right kind of guy.
Black P and Don’s stories literally melted my heart before walking in to work ugh people are gonna think me and the wife are fighting I’m so teary eyed lol. What an amazing song and conversation oh my God ❤
Baby if I lose my mind, would you stay with me. No. This hits me like a train every time I watch it. No. She didn't in my case and it's painful to be taken back to the flood of despair 20 plus years ago. Yet another musical gem from this gifted artist we're so lucky to have known.
Crutch has brought out so many different thoughts and feelings in every person I have spoken to about it. It means something different to everyone. Different perspectives, different life experiences. This is really special!✌❤
shoutout black pegasus for being emotional more men need it but they also need to handle things and be a threat... your story of your mom is close to home you are not alone in cancer battles.... i don't know if i'll ever be alright after losing so many people and watching the slide....thanks for making content i can relax to.
Sharing a few tears with you both. Big hugs to you BP because I know what it is like to have a one and a million mom. Then when Don said, I will be your crutch because I believe in you, was like a much-needed therapy session. I thought I had found my soul mate, but that wasn't the case. Much love to you guys, Ren, & Bibi for giving us a place to chat about our real emotions.
Ren's videos/songs are very thought provoking and result in much needed discussions.... from which, other people learn as they get to understand another perspective. But the real question is....was she ever there in the first place?? Did he truly lose her or is he simply voicing his fears?? Loved the reaction and the chat that it provoked. Much love from the UK xx
I've spent 15 years with the love of my life till the last year when cancer happened in 2017. and then the cancer ended life in 2018. I was that crutch for a year, did everything that was required to help someone with colon cancer deal with the stoma bag, the washing, the cleaning up, the waking up in the middle of the night... I cant imagine how it feels living with cancer for 15 years... But what I DO KNOW is - the person that is the crutch, that person has the strength of a mountain. Nothing was ever hard for me, nothing could break me or tire me out. I felt like I could do ANYTHING because I was doing it for my love. A kind of superpower almost. Now that I'm left alone, all that strength evaporated. I don't imagine ever finding love like that in this life. Say hi to your dad from me, and give that guy a hug a little more often.
BP, you made me cry. You're a beautiful human. In my experience, in a relationship the need for support fluctuates between partners. There's no "correct" ratio. It may be that one partner, absolutely doing their very best, needs the ongoing massive support of the other. And it can be incredibly hard on the supporting partner, yes. That person may simply not be up to the task (which has been my personal experience -- I've not had that kind of support myself), but I still think it's an individual characterological issue and independent of a person's gender. We're all imperfect humans, as Ren has observed, and some are just too wounded to be there for others beyond a certain depth. Wonderful discussion, guys.
Yo guys. This reaction hitted me different. I'm sitting here in silence 10 minutes after this vid was done. Thank you. For a moment, I felt so recognised as a man. For a moment, able to allow emotion without feeling alone. You must be great friends to have irl. Seriously, thank you. Didn't know I needed this, but I did. So uhm, Pegasus, I feel you completely, i wouldn't be comfortable at all either showing this to a camera. But know that you did help at least one person here. You both did.
Thank you both for being so open and honest with us and strong men share their joy, love and fears. We have emotions for a reason and they need to be expressed and processed to not cause internal trauma. Personaly, I look for a man who can be his true self in any situation and share all aspects of his life with me. Thats what love is to me, acceptance, understanding, respect and openness in good times and bad. You are a team and togheter you stand strong against whatever life might throw at you. I am still looking for that person, thought I had found him but I was mistaken. Mistakes are what we learn from and I know there is someone out there for me, I just have not found that person yet... I must not forget, We must not forget, that we are human beings ❤
Oh my 😢 I've found you guys through my Ren deep dives since my husband introduced me to "Hi Ren" a few months ago and I now listen to anything and everything Ren puts out. He's a truly amazing multi talented musician and a massively huge heart to help others. I connect so deeply with his struggles because my 16 year old daughter has POTS and medical help is minimal and her life as a teen is mostly bed ridden. Also this reaction y'all did to Crutch hit me harder than just the powerful song itself because of Black Pegasus discussing his dad sticking by his mom during cancer for years. I was diagnosed at 37 with breast cancer, my kids were 11 and 9. My husband has been my crutch since 2016 when it happened. Our lives were forever changed with the surgeries and chronic pain i have daily that makes it hard to get out of bed with the massive amounts of meds i take just to ease pain for 8 years. My husband is truly my angel and the most amazing man I've ever met. We've been married since 2003 and together 8 years before marriage! I don't know how i got so lucky, but I thank God daily for him. He's a firefighter helping people daily. Thank you for the views of how a man feels breaking down to a woman. I think he feels he can tell me most anything except really bad emergencies he runs at work. But Im going to have him watch this reaction of y'all's and bring it up. Thank you so much for supporting Ren. I can't imagine all he's been through and what an honor it is to be a fan of someone so genuine and trying to put good things into the world!
I, the youngest of 3 boys, moved to MN to care for my mother during her battle. She lost. I feel your thoughts BP. Thank you for making me revisit my past. We should always remember where we come from.
Love to you both ❤❤❤ 🥺 Hopefully we are escaping the stereotype that Man is protector and Woman will look down for showing vulnerability. Amazing heart wrenching song and what a breath of fresh air listening to you both open up. Thank you guys xx
As a 43 year old man who grew up in care with no reference of proper family/real love I can honestly say I could have done with hearing this conversation 20/25 years ago and I'm sure there are young folks about nowadays who need to hear it too. I'm gonna sit down with my grown up children and watch this one with them. Much love guys. 🤜🤛💯
That is what I love about Ren and NF. They are not afraid to show emotion and be vulnerable and they are such an inspiration to the young men and even those in the 40's. Men have always had to be the rock and not show emotions or be vulnerable. The problem is they still have these emotions and they get stuffed down and buried until they fester and become physical illnesses and dis-ease. I am 63 years old married 44 years to a Viet Nam combat vet with PTSD. Whenever he loosens the grip and shows emotion, which is rare, it just makes me love him all the more. There were times I was going to go, because I felt I was in it alone, now we are the closest we have ever been and he is my rock because he is always there and he is my best friend. We are in a disposable world and the first sign of something undesirable people bail and look for greener pastures. Pro tip there are none, no one is perfect including yourself and it is the conflict the struggle that can bring out the best or the worst in us, and can bring us closer. It isn't healthy to keep emotions stuffed down. Probably why men statistically die younger than women. To me there is so much more strength in sharing the struggle, the emotion, the fears and doubts than to stuff it down. Women know something is up, there is something her man is struggling with, and our imaginations are usually much worse than reality (personally speaking lol). And like what was said in another comment if your woman doesn't support you than you are with the wrong woman. I let this go longer than intended, and I love you both even more than I did yesterday for being vulnerable with us.
Ren said this video was made with literally zero budget…they also filmed it in October and he almost got hypothermia. He is truly special in his way to deliver a message.
As a husband and a dad, it's hard to show that side of you, always the rock. I have very supportive wife, but we had a moment, recently, where we were going through a family issue with my wife's dad and while I know she was having a very hard time dealing, so was I as a lot of it fell on me. At one point when I vented, she broke down and it turned into a shouting match until I told her that I'm allowed to break down too. It was all good after that. Still the rock when it's important.
I looked into this and Bibi was Ren's girlfriend at that time. She set up a gofundme page for him to generate money for his treatment. She did stay with him some time after this video was recorded. I read an interview where she said she couldn't imagine leaving him. It looks like the song and video was a premonition for what eventually happened. No wonder he had goose bumps, it was a cold october evening I believe when the video was made. That heater was literally the only thing keeping him warm and it created a nice light too.
i didnt like where this reaction was going at first, but i gave you guys the benefit of the doubt and watched through. im glad i did. Thanks for sharing that story about your parents BP, it was meaningful. especially in how raw you got when you shared it much love. and also shout out to Don admitting he has the think inwardly about his choices too.
This is my what I like to call a ren gem ren is truly amazing that he never misses but he has songs that touch your soul and they are little pockets of gems in the rabbit whole. Thank you for sharing and being so truly honest you made me cry yet again and it's always ren that brings this out. BP your dad sounds like an absolute gent and a man you can truly look up to. My dad has stage 4 cancer and his wife left him because she doesn't want to as she said "end up wiping his bum" so just shows the true love your dad has for your mum ❤
My dad had lung cancer and my mom had alzheimers and he chose to not have"emergency" surgery and spent the last couple of months that she knew who he was and where she was with her.Bravest act I'v ever witnessed.
My late wife & I were married 40 years and shared everything together, especially our emotions. We have 2 daughters + grandkids . After she passed on last July 2022, I became physically challenged cuz of my spinal arthritis. Everyday I want my Crutch back. She could have done everything in her power to help with my health issues…today.
For me, a relationship is team work. I prefer to share vulnerability together. We hold each other up. To be shunned for opening up to your woman or being protective as a man and not sharing is a act of blindness on both parts. Thank you for opening up. It shows so much strength. BP, much love sent to you. Thank you for showing your vulnerability. My x husband left when I had breast cancer, left when I was bald, bloated with steroids. Much appreciation towards your Dad for standing by his family. Don, don't shut your heart down. You can be vulnerable with the right person. Sorry for what you went through. Crutch works both ways.
Any person, man, woman or child who breaks down and opens up their soul is in my eyes a warrior for having that ability to let go, let it out and create space to let the healing in. And ANYONE who does that in front of me or you is giving us a gift and it is a privilege to receive that gift. Anyone who is “turned off” or “disgusted” is unhealed and disconnected from real human experience and as such will not experience the deep array of colour therein and for them and that I feel so deeply sorry. Ren reaches in deep for every piece of light, dark, taste, smell, sound and touch imaginable. Soul shaking, breathtaking and life giving warrior truth. Peace, love and light people ❤
I admire you guys so much for the deep and honest conversations you can have depending on what you’re reacting to. This makes your channel so valuable! Thank you for all you do. ❤
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this one, I guess I'm from a different place but I practically beg my partner to open up to me but I can see the fear that I may think he's weak which is far from the truth much love guys x
Blesss you BP. You started me off crying. I have just losst my dad from cancer in May. He was a rock for my Mum and shown her the world. He faught it but it took him in as little as 6 months with this raging disease. My Mum held his hand till his very last breath. i am now my Mum's crutch.
Here is what Ren has said about this song/video:
1) "This was shot with no budget at the end of a frickin ' freezing October, felt like I was going to get hypothermia lying on cold slate for a few hours, serious case of mind over matter but so happy with how it turned out :) The song came about after a nervous breakdown following lots of visits to emergency room after some scary health problems. It's a song for anybody who has faced any kind of mental challenges, depression, anxiety, or health struggles while in a relationship and all the fears that come along for the ride with that. It is also a song for the courageous and wonderful people who support their other halves, family or friends during times of crisis :) In whatever context I hope my music can help take some of the weight from anyone suffering and help people feel less alone."
2) "This song is probably my favorite from the first ever album I put out
It's called crutch.
Weeks before I wrote this I had come out of multiple visits to the emergency room, I didn't know I had lyme disease yet and thought I was loosing my mind. To be transparent I was really scared being this sick, frail, crazy person would make me unlovable. My girlfriend Bibi at the time had been witnessing some of the hardest things I went through, and I was really scared it would push her away. I wanted to write something which put my fears to music, and this song was the end result.
We filmed this during a cold October, when I was very underweight, but I wanted the video to be exposing, not shying away from the parts of me that repulsed myself. I think thats whats really powerful about art, it doens't always have to be comfortable, and sometimes the things we think are really ugly, can be alchemised into something that contains beauty."
So at the end when she disappeared, was he scared she'd not be their in the end, or wasn't she ever really there and he was imaging her being there
@@smokedog2185 My interpretation, based on what he said above, is that she was there and then disappeared, because the song represents his fear that he would lose her. To me, imagining her doesn't seem consistent with what he said here.
@@sharoncarlisle9453 so the girl singing in the song was his girl at the time but split up after this
@@sharoncarlisle9453 tbh the only reason a thought she could've never really been their, just in his head, cos how he still holds his hands up to her face after she disappears like she could've just been in his head all along, then at end just to show us she did end up leaving him when things got bad
@@smokedog2185 I think the video is vague enough to leave room for the listener's interpretation, so who knows. As far as real life goes, I don't know anything about why they didn't stay together. Ren has not shared that, which I think is a good thing. I do know that Biibi set up and ran the go fund me to help raise the money for his stem cell procedure, so it seems like she was around for awhile after this song.
Woman in the chat here. For me, personally, vulnerability is strength. Honesty is strength. Accepting help is strength. There's also a fine line between being supportive of someone and being swallowed up for someone. BOTH partners need support when one person is struggling so deeply but it's worth it. We're all human. Loved this reaction and discussion. As a woman it was great hearing your perspective and personal experiences.
second that
Amen 😊
💯 If you can't be completely honest with your partner, you're with the wrong partner.
Yep. Male/female inter-relationships vary. Men who always present as a rock, attract women who expect and need that. They aren't being selfish, they're living out the script their parents gave them. Speaking for myself, I wouldn't get involved with a man who thought he needed to "take the lead" and "shield" me. The minute I sniffed that out, I was gone, because it implies a man who CAN'T share, and who can't be vulnerable.
If you START by sharing, you'll find a woman who values it. That doesn't mean first date, but at the first appropriate serious moment. And those moments are always there, but usually get buried under bravado.
yes 🙌
This channel is what MTV should have become. In depth music analysis with real life chat. Amazing stuff🔥
Couldn't agree more with you!!!!!
Well said!
On point 😂
We had Beavis and Butthead do this in the 90s...
Amen
Also I see it this way, She was there for him as long as she could without being taken down herself. She didn't leave until he was on his feet.
I think that’s a very optimistic take.
Absolutely. Him standing on his own 2 feet at the end is definitely intentional
Agree, this is very optimistic. She was never there.
It's a shame that society has made our men shut down. When my husband and I thought our beautiful pet, Brio, our Australian shepherd, was going to die of cancer, he cried in front of me and it gave me a deeper respect and love for him. I felt more connected to him than ever before. Thank you BP for showing your underbelly much respect!
If you can't show your weakness in front of your partner without judgement, you're with the wrong partner or perhaps you underestimate your partner. A good cry can be very healing male or female!
Your Mum sounds amazing ❤❤ Your Dad too.
I’d recommend never, ever exposing yourself to any woman to that extent.
It won’t fix anything and it will sooner or later just bring trouble and that trouble will be double.
@@supertuscans9512very sad that you feel that way. You must've had some real shitty women in your life. I can assure you there are plenty who will stand by their man at his weakest point just like in this video, I hope someday you come across the lady who changes your mind 💜
I’m content with fun but disposable.
@@supertuscans9512 wow 🙄 sooooo you're the problem, gotcha 👍
@@supertuscans9512 Jesus! If you're not trolling i genuinely feel bad for you. I don't feel sorry for you because it sounds like you don't deserve sympathy... So i just feel bad for you that you think like that.
Yes Bibi is Ren’s ex. There is an interview (article) online that you can find where it mentions it. Bibi created Ren’s first GoFundMe.
Yes, if you Google "Ren and Bibi, Sussex Tab" you will find it
Yes , her effort meant Ren could go to Germany and finally get a diagnosis of Lyme disease and start on the journey of a stem cell transplant which turned his life around back to the land of the living .
There’s nothing sexier than a man that shows vulnerability and can shed a tear❤️
Finally! One of my absolute favourites. Just stunning. It’s such a perfect expression of agony in lyrics, voice, music, and even the video. Breathtaking and heart wrenching.
Totally agree 💐
Yes! And fear. 😢
you found the tear jerker at last, I just wanted to wrap Ren up in a blanket when I first saw this one
It is astonishing and beautiful to see the impact of Ren and his music to BP and many other people! If you went down the rabbithole with BP from the beginning you have witnessed BP, the badass rapper and great reactor, becoming BP the human with empathy who still is a badass rapper and great reactor. But in my eyes now a lot closer to the audience/viewers!
BP thank you and of course Don for sharing your thoughts and emotions everytime. ❤❤❤
Much love for your families
Peace and love from Germany
Absolutely spot on my friend. BP is the first "Reactor" channel I've ever subscribed to....
Found BP/Don as I discovered Ren (Patron Saint of the ill and infirm) Inviting us to be privy to BPs life is, quite simply, Brave.
Love to see the growth. ❤❤❤
I am sorry, a man who can cry sometime is a true strong man!
The conversation between you guys was immense and real and raw. Real friendship. Thank you for letting us share it.
This is for your mum, BP🌹🙏 xxx
I’m going through it with my husband of 24 years. He’s MY crutch and has been for 24 years and more so the last 10. He’s starting to fray at the seams and I’m trying my damndest to step up where I can and ease the little things I can manage. It’s fecking hard to remember your partner’s struggles when you’re curled up mentally and physically in the fetal position. In moments of clarity and shame you realise you have to step up if you are exhausted or not. You have to. There’s no turning your back unless you’re a senseless, narcissistic waste of space. Honesty, vulnerability, strength of character forged in fire makes for a completely different bond between a husband and wife. My father told me when I was little that our family are not quitters. That lessons stayed with me for life. This song absolutely eviscerates me and puts me back together. It epitomises the fears that every broken soul in a relationship goes through but also acknowledges the struggles that their ‘crutch’, their partners and carers go through nd applauds them and acknowledges the damage and the fight they go through to stay or go. Beautiful songwriting and imagery and a metaphor for life. Loved you both opening up . Great reaction as always BP and Don. Cheers from Australia.
When I was 25 (I'll be 43 in 4 days), I married someone who was 40, and I barely knew. We met, fell in love quickly, and eloped. We got married on September 25th. On October 25th, exactly one month to the day later, he had a grand mal seizure. It sent his heart into an irregular rhythm, which then caused full cardiac arrest. He was technically dead for 13 minutes. I did CPR waiting for the ambulance, and when they finally arrived, they had to shock him 3 times before they got a heartbeat.
They put him in a medically induced coma and told me that the brain damage would be too great *if* he woke up. At best, he would be in a vegetative state. A shell of who he was. His mom and dad rushed to our city, and they sat me down on our couch and told me I should leave him. "You're only 25. You don't need to be changing his diapers and being his caretaker at such a young age." They meant well, but I told them there was no chance I'd be going anywhere. His sweet mom smiled and said, "I hoped you'd say that."
He woke up and basically became a medical miracle, but sadly, he did end up with brain damage that affected his personality. He became cruel and violent, especially toward my 3 year old. That's when I had to leave. It was around 7 months after his release from the hospital.
From what I understand, he's back to his old self. He's happy in a new relationship, as am I. We were brought together so his (then) 14 year old son wouldn't have to live without his dad. My purpose in his life was solely October 25th, and I'm ok with that. Our lives now are happy, fulfilled, and beautiful. I'm honored to have been a part of his (and his beautiful family) life. It wasn't his fault that he became violent. It was literal brain damage. But I had to protect my child. I will always protect my children above all else.
I hope he's doing well now. He deserves happiness and peace. I hated that I had to leave, but even his parents agreed that I needed to. Such beautiful, loving people.
Thanks for opening up BP. Emotions are one of the things that make us human. We should never feel ashamed of showing others how we feel. If we dont then were hiding who we truly are from the people we love.
this content is fast turning into the best music magazine on the web, love the variety especially your exploring outside hip hop
Honestly, I don't want a man who feels he has to hide his emotions from me. That connection is so real when fears are shared and it is a safe place for both ❤
Correct on both counts BP, Bibi and Ren dated and he plays keys on here, the video is what I love it's so amazing.
I know from previous videos that you probably debated whether to post this one, just wanted to say huge props to you on putting this out there and opening up. Both you guys should take great pride in what you’re doing and sharing so much with those of us who have found the channel, great reaction guys and I love the funny ones and they always make me laugh but these ones are powerful!
A moving reaction, guys. Thank you for being so respectful of Ren’s willingness to show us his vulnerabilities. On a side note: women of substance do not find it off-putting when men display their emotions. Quite the contrary. In fact, that’s what makes Ren so relatable.
My parents were married for 63 years before my Dad passed away, they stuck together through everything and I am proud to say they are my parents, My Dad cried maybe 5 times in front of my Mom and she held him to say its ok things will work out. Never be ashamed to show all emotions we are all human
This... time is what builds a relationship!
So glad you got to the takeaways you did at the end. The whole “red pill” tip you were talking about initially feels like it is just a caricature of real life and real people and real relationships. I really resonate with everything you were talking about toward the end. As a woman in a relationship with my husband starting very young and lasting over 20 years now, and witnessing all kinds of frailty, and tears, and emotions, and fears in my husband, I can say that not all women are scared away by that. Can it be scary? Yes. But it all comes down to trust. I have to trust my husband enough to know that him expressing his fears and sadness to me does not mean he’s crumbling and will abandon me or destroy himself, and he has to trust me that showing me his fear and sadness won’t freak me out so much that I run away. And it goes both ways. I highly recommend therapy. Both of us have had extensive individual therapy and we’ve also done couples therapy. It can really help. Because before you can put that kind of trust in someone else, you have to first learn to trust yourself. And that is the root of it all.
Yes, it is so important to love, and trust yourself first, because we are the only ones that can make us happy
It's incredible how much emotion Ren's music evokes, and how differently everyone interprets it. Really love the conversation between you two and how I (we) get to know you. Huge hug to you both❤.
Nice reaction, guys, I could see that it impacted you both very much. BP, your dad stood by his woman until the day she died. I stood by my husband as he battled brain cancer, and I held his hand as he died. Someone told me something that gave me comfort, that my husband loved me until the day he died. ❤️😓
It's happened to me twice. I cared for my first husband for 1.5 years as he suffered terminal illness. 20 years later I cared for my second husband for the same amount of time as he battled lung cancer. I was there with them both as they died. They said I was their rock. I felt like mush but they thought of me as a rock. It's what we do for each other, it's not a male/female thing. I will say, I'm never doing it again. No more partners for me. It's been too tough.
@@Dstinii I'm so sorry you had to go through this twice. We are their rocks but we sure don't feel like it when it's happening. I'm with you on I don't ever want to go through this again with anybody else.
@BlackPegasus: I feel you and appreciate your lovely and hard memories...
My Mom and Dad met and fell in love when they were 14 years old - when my Mom lost her fight against cancer after 4 heavy years, he held her hand and cried with her - after being her crutch and helping her with everything she needed help, as you describes...she died four months before her 80th birthday. This is 11 years ago but the wounds of her torture aren't healed yet and after they spent their life together - my Dad is lost in a way, we can't heal either.
Their love, trust and company (allthough they had hard times and a lot of struggle with each other) give a lot of to think about and wish for... Next month is my Dads 91 birthday and now he is weak, suffering some health issues and a lot of pain - he'd like to die, but isn't "sick enough"...feel so sorry for him and can't help him or take away his pain - wish him all the best...wish he could sleep and finally find peace, like my beloved Mom did...😓
@StelFiRu Thank you for sharing 💕 I will hold this close to my heart for when my husband with terminal cancer reaches the end. I will also be there, holding his hand and remembering your words.
@@giuliettamiller2797 oh no, I'm so sorry for you and your husband. 😓 It's a devastating journey, one that we sign on for but are never ready when it happens. 🫂
I think Don's got it right. There's limits to everything. You can have a crutch, but you can't fall over and expect to be held up by a person who also has their own things to deal with.
Hmm, i don't know about that. I feel like i can fall on my partner and she will (and has) propped me up) but the same goes/went the other way.
In a strong relationship where both people have shit to deal with it's not "i can't support you because i have my own shit to deal with". It's "Thank you for supporting me with this, i got you when you need me to prop you up".
Thanks for getting to Crutch, one of his best.
GOOD NEWS GUYS! The story behind this video is actually a GOOD one. Bibi did date Ren. If you look at the beginning of the video he’s laying on the ground. In real life, she got him to stand up again. Even though they broke up, she supported him helped raise money so that he could get treatment. She got him on his feet again.
In a relationship, you should be able to go back-and-forth, when one partner is down the other can be there for them and vice versa. If a woman can’t handle you at your worst, she cannot have you at your best. She’s not entitled to it!!!
In my opinion, there’s nothing stronger than a man that is not a shamed or a bashed at sharing his weaknesses or crying!
People don’t realize that a marriage takes work. They give up too soon. Throw it out like a used tissue. If you really take your vows seriously that means you have to put in the work you’re not just gonna have happiness all your life just as you’re not gonna have happiness throughout your marriage. You deserve to find a partner that thinks this way and put it into practice.
This song and video by Ren and Bibi is a work of ART!
I love you black p. You're the fucking man dude.
You helping me let out my emotions while you do it.
Thank you
As a woman I believe there is absolutely no shame in a man crying , showing his emotions, take a look at James blunt monsters if you haven't already , I have watched many reactions to that and have seen many male reactors cry ! And not just cry a few tears either ! I also agree with the other ladies here ❤
If a crutch is used for too long it will break! Some days I can only give 10% so hubby gives 90%, the next day maybe he can do 20% so I give 80%, and some days we both give 110%. 44 years together and still in love can't be bad. Huge respect to you both guys, you are helping so many with Ren's music ❤️ and your honesty/chats are so refreshing, keep up the amazing work xxx
This is one of my favorite songs. I hate it - but I also love it. I have watched the video so many times and every time my heart breaks. Loneliness can be interpreted into so many different life circumstances - and I think we can all relate in one way or another
I haven't seen your reaction yet - as I write here. I'm really looking forward to it - you two can do something very special together, so I think you'll once again deliver a fantastic conversation
This song and video is beautiful but also heartbreaking. The struggle and the literal pain both physical and mental Ren is enduring just destroys me 😢. BP I am sorry for your loss I can see how it still haunts you. I lost my dad when I was 12 and I still miss him. Don I truly believe you will have another chance at love. All we can do is be our true selves. Y’all are awesome! Thanks for being you! ❤❤
So glad you guys covered this one. I absolutely love this song and it makes me cry. I cry because of having a chronic pain that I feel like I can be a burden to my hubby and I cry seeing how thin Ren was just knowing all he has gone through. The end of the video for me means she got him on his feet and even if she is gone (which Bibi and him did eventually breaking up) he is at least on his feet. BP seeing you open up like this is so touching. Lots of love to you both!
#Donjuanabe
..."shield them from these burdens so they don't have to carry them with me..."
Maybe they would want to, because they love you. Maybe it's not an act of kindness. Maybe they would love to take on those burdens with you. After all, you just said that trying to keep their burdens light is the greatest act of love you know to do in those moments. So flip that around to their perspectives.
Great reaction, great talk guys.
As a mother of 3 boys and wife of a man who suffers with his mental health, this conversation needs to be had more often. Bringing males up to have the comfortable space to bare their souls without fear of rejection in a world where we are conditioned to be strong and silent is not an easy gig. They have the benefit of a father who is willing to show them that still waters run deep. Much love to you both for doing this reaction. It's a beautifully sad song about vulnerability that shouldn't be a burden for ourselves to carry alone but often it is.
Bibi Lea-Ding was his girlfriend from 2014. She raised money to send him to the US for his first treatments. She's a tattoo artist. They follow each other on socials. Unsure if still together or not.
You mutha fuq'ers got me crying again. I have listened to this song enough times that it doesn't make me cry every time I hear it, but then you two had to go and say some real stuff that didn't just hit close to home, it hit the bullseye. So thank you and F you at the same time.
Yeah fuq you BP and Don…how dare you open up and share just to make me cry!!! Top reaction..top comment
@rbbea Lol. I know, right?
Top 10 Ren reaction for a Ren song that might not be in my top 10. Normally I just watch a reaction to see someone go “damn that’s dope” to justify my own opinions, but you guys actually elevated his song with this reaction, well done fellas
This is one of hardest videos for me to watch...It's always a punch to the gut .. ALWAYS
As a woman who has four brothers, I feel as though i have never believed in my heart that a man showing his emotions is a weakness. Are all of his emotions a weakness or just fear and sorrow ?
I really appreciated hearing from men's perspectives . I do feel that feeling the need to protect your spouse from your fears lest she is overwhelmed by them is understandable, but this means that she won't fully know you . And at some point may be blind sided by what you are feeling. Also sometimes we just might surprise you. . I also to not want to negate the reality that many women are confused about what a "REAL" man is . This is definitely a nuanced, and complex conversation. The video is fire . For at least the first 5 times i watched it i cried . Even as a woman I have worried about not being well physically and emotionally in front of loved ones for fear of being a burden ( i have struggled with cronic pain ) .Unfortunately there is often a sense of shame attached. That is a whole nother conversation . Thank you so much for opening up about how many men are feeling on this subject , and BP i am sorry to here about your moms' battle with cancer , and i was very moved to hear about how you Dad stuck with her in the trenches. There is so much to learn from your parents lives and Love . Thank you again , this time for sharing a very personal story with us .
I always see the standing alone at the end as a sign that he no longer needs that kind of crutch
I agree . She helped him stand up and then he didnt need a crutch any more .
Everything that y’all said make me realize how lucky I am to have a wife that consoles me on my down days. I work 60-72 hours a week and there’s times where I just HATE IT and want time with my family but being the only income for my wife and 3 kids makes it hard but being the man I know what I gotta do. This song and conversation hit me, thanks for the great reaction as always. Peace and love to everyone ✌️❤
If you read the description on the actual video, it does give you context ❤
BP. I don't always agree with your views (I cringe every time you say plandemic). I stumbled across you on the Hi Ren rabbit hole and despite our differences, I stuck with you because of the way you've reacted and found inspiration through his life and songs and I don't want to add to social media's algorithm effects by blocking out anybody with differing opinions to my own. I want a balance.
I've just watched this reaction and want you both to know what an incredibly powerful piece of work you have put out. I don't care if we think differently about some things, you deserve massive respect for what I've just watched. Love to you both and thank you.
What a beautiful reaction ❤. You should be allowed to be open with your partner, male or female, and be supported. This song always hits hard, being someone whose partner left during my toughest time and I had to survive without that support. Thanks for being you ❤❤
Faces everyone… faces!
Emotions are cathartic. Keeping them bottled up can make you forget they exist. I know you think that to be strong, man have to pretend there’s nothing ever wrong. While I think there is value in a “fake it til you make it” mentality sometimes, intimacy is important in a relationship. While men tend to think of intimacy as physical/sexual, emotional intimacy is what keeps you tied with your partner when the honeymoon part of dating matures. My husband is my person because he shares the burdens of my lows, and celebrates the happiness of my successes. But I think it’s hollow if I don’t get to do the same for him.
It’s normal and healing to let yourself cry over your mom, btw. I’m a mammo tech, I’ve known hundreds of women diagnosed with breast cancer. She fought it for 15 years. Incredible. She was a warrior and I’m happy you speak of her and keep her memory alive. Think about all the people in your community who get to know how amazing she was. ❤
I'm so sorry guys I hear pain in you both! I hope you both have or find relationships that give you that crutch. Thanks for opening up you guys xxx
Wow, wow you guys I’m so glad you show your emotions. I’m going to tell you my story. I have 5 siblings, we grew up in forties and fifties. Totally different era , the one you talk about often, the lines were clear husband was the provider the protecter , the wives were the home makers the guardians of the souls the peace makers. I lost my husband of 52 years 7 years ago. Call me old fashioned, but I wanted and needed that strength that he provided. There were times in our marriage when ups and downs, but we were real partners in every sense, if he was down I lifted him up and vice versa . It is possible to have that kind of relationship even today, just really be honest with each other. With the one, nothing I mean nothing was off limits to share, even if we were uncomfortable for a moment. And by the way my siblings are all still married 65-63-60-60, I would of been 59 and my brother 53 . I know it’s unheard of now a days. But it’s possible. I pray for the young couples of today. BP and Don much love and respect from Great Grandma ❤️❤️❤️👵🏼
This raw, and authentic video has me bawling like a baby. BP, I'm extremely sorry for the hell your mom & ur family endured. Your mom is a warrior! My parents were married 30 yrs when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I knew they loved each other (obviously) but i didn't realize how deep that love was until my dad was bedridden, and my mom left her job and did EVERYTHING for my father. Watching that type of love, shook me to my core, and I'll never forget her being by his side until he passed away in the living room. To know that she lost her soulmate, her best friend, the person she grew up with, breaks my heart. I was there when my dad took his last breath, i was holding his hand. That's real life stuff that sticks with you forever. My perspective on life changed and i choose, like you and Don, to find the beauty in the struggle. Much love as always ❤️
I think the beginning bit with Bibi is the romantic idea of supporting somebody through a mental crisis and the second bit is the grim reality. Stunning.
"If you lose, don't lose the lesson"
Thank you, gentlemen.
I hear that if you share with your partner you might lose your relationship and Don experienced this. But I just want to say you aren't losing, you are moving forward to find a partner that WILL be there for you in the way you need (and vice versa). You were worth more than having your pain rejected. This is a great conversation.
The story of Black P's parents was everything. What I get from the video is that Ren wanted her to be as strong, loving, and compassionate as your father was to take care of your mother through cancer. It's not that it's too much to ask of a life partner, it's that life is filled with people (men AND women) who don't have the capacity of your father. Black P, not only did your mother's cancer teach you what medical treatments are appropriate for your daughter, but your father taught you how to do anything to take care of your baby. It sounds like both of your parents are responsible for teaching you to be a man, a husband and a father. I'm blessed by you sharing this story today.
BP; your recollection about your parents with your mother's cancer was really moving. I was very moved. Thanks for sharing ❤🙏
I share everything with my wife. We have such a deep connection that we can share the most sincere or disturbing thoughts of our psyche. To me, if you can’t share your full self with someone, they aren’t worth it. Tears don’t make you less of a man. Awesome song. Thanks for your honesty and deep insights. ❤
Guys, I love you. As humans, I just love you. ❤
I've been following your channel for a little while now, and I always look for your reactions because they're fun.
This is my favorite reaction of yours to date. Hands down. The humanity of it. It's just... thank you.
We lost our 3 year old on the tail end of me nearly losing my own life. I don't have to wonder what caliber man I have. I KNOW.
He helped me when I couldn't walk, talk, eat, toilet, bathe, or even breathe by myself. He stuck with me through all of it.
And just when we thought we were on the steady road to recovery, the day I came home from the hospital, we lost our son violently.
I know he shields me from the full force of his grief. He leans on me... but only to a degree. He allows me to fully open up the bottomless chasm of pain, but releases from himself only enough of his personal torture to make sure I know it's there and that he identifies.
There are times I feel like he's sort of closed off from me. I wish I could peek behind that door and see the depths. He allows me to look through the keyhole but not open it. He walks that fine line you both described, of wanting to collapse into my arms but also wanting to be the strong arms that hold me.
Again. Thank you. You described something I know he struggles with. And I know he does it for me, for our children. I have a GOOD man. You guys are good men, too. You have a lot of integrity, personal growth, and desire to BE the right kind of guy.
Black P and Don’s stories literally melted my heart before walking in to work ugh people are gonna think me and the wife are fighting I’m so teary eyed lol. What an amazing song and conversation oh my God ❤
Baby if I lose my mind, would you stay with me. No. This hits me like a train every time I watch it. No. She didn't in my case and it's painful to be taken back to the flood of despair 20 plus years ago. Yet another musical gem from this gifted artist we're so lucky to have known.
Crutch has brought out so many different thoughts and feelings in every person I have spoken to about it. It means something different to everyone. Different perspectives, different life experiences. This is really special!✌❤
This is the best reaction I have seen for this song yet. Thank you guys for what you do.
BP your story is a example for young generation
shoutout black pegasus for being emotional more men need it but they also need to handle things and be a threat... your story of your mom is close to home you are not alone in cancer battles.... i don't know if i'll ever be alright after losing so many people and watching the slide....thanks for making content i can relax to.
my mum won twice but lost in the rematch age 43, I have memories that I run from like a coward yet others I cherish, I feel you brother ❤🩹
Sharing a few tears with you both. Big hugs to you BP because I know what it is like to have a one and a million mom. Then when Don said, I will be your crutch because I believe in you, was like a much-needed therapy session. I thought I had found my soul mate, but that wasn't the case. Much love to you guys, Ren, & Bibi for giving us a place to chat about our real emotions.
Great episode! REALLY loved how Don opened up. You guys are so awesome. Thank you soooo much for all the great content! ❤️❤️❤️
Ren's videos/songs are very thought provoking and result in much needed discussions.... from which, other people learn as they get to understand another perspective. But the real question is....was she ever there in the first place?? Did he truly lose her or is he simply voicing his fears??
Loved the reaction and the chat that it provoked. Much love from the UK xx
I've spent 15 years with the love of my life till the last year when cancer happened in 2017. and then the cancer ended life in 2018. I was that crutch for a year, did everything that was required to help someone with colon cancer deal with the stoma bag, the washing, the cleaning up, the waking up in the middle of the night... I cant imagine how it feels living with cancer for 15 years... But what I DO KNOW is - the person that is the crutch, that person has the strength of a mountain. Nothing was ever hard for me, nothing could break me or tire me out. I felt like I could do ANYTHING because I was doing it for my love. A kind of superpower almost. Now that I'm left alone, all that strength evaporated. I don't imagine ever finding love like that in this life. Say hi to your dad from me, and give that guy a hug a little more often.
BP, you made me cry. You're a beautiful human. In my experience, in a relationship the need for support fluctuates between partners. There's no "correct" ratio. It may be that one partner, absolutely doing their very best, needs the ongoing massive support of the other. And it can be incredibly hard on the supporting partner, yes. That person may simply not be up to the task (which has been my personal experience -- I've not had that kind of support myself), but I still think it's an individual characterological issue and independent of a person's gender. We're all imperfect humans, as Ren has observed, and some are just too wounded to be there for others beyond a certain depth. Wonderful discussion, guys.
This might be my favorite song from Ren. About time 👍
Yo guys. This reaction hitted me different. I'm sitting here in silence 10 minutes after this vid was done. Thank you. For a moment, I felt so recognised as a man. For a moment, able to allow emotion without feeling alone. You must be great friends to have irl. Seriously, thank you. Didn't know I needed this, but I did. So uhm, Pegasus, I feel you completely, i wouldn't be comfortable at all either showing this to a camera. But know that you did help at least one person here. You both did.
One of my favourites,Beautiful and Hearbreaking❤❤❤ We love you Ren ❤️❤️❤️Thanks B.P and Don x
Really glad yall found this one. Beautiful song!
BP, you just blew me away man, sooooo much respect for you man.
Thank you and Don for this reaction.
I hope you are both ok.
Take care guys
Daz
He said the night he did the video, it was VERY cold out. Very hard for him to make, but the cold help add the effects that make this one sooo real. ❤
This was the most touching reaction to see two men talk honestly about being vulnerable and it’s ok to feel and share your fears and sadness.
Thank you both for being so open and honest with us and strong men share their joy, love and fears. We have emotions for a reason and they need to be expressed and processed to not cause internal trauma. Personaly, I look for a man who can be his true self in any situation and share all aspects of his life with me. Thats what love is to me, acceptance, understanding, respect and openness in good times and bad. You are a team and togheter you stand strong against whatever life might throw at you.
I am still looking for that person, thought I had found him but I was mistaken. Mistakes are what we learn from and I know there is someone out there for me, I just have not found that person yet...
I must not forget, We must not forget, that we are human beings ❤
Yay!!!!! So excited Been waiting for this one. It's one of my faves. Beautiful video and beautiful song.
Oh my 😢 I've found you guys through my Ren deep dives since my husband introduced me to "Hi Ren" a few months ago and I now listen to anything and everything Ren puts out. He's a truly amazing multi talented musician and a massively huge heart to help others. I connect so deeply with his struggles because my 16 year old daughter has POTS and medical help is minimal and her life as a teen is mostly bed ridden. Also this reaction y'all did to Crutch hit me harder than just the powerful song itself because of Black Pegasus discussing his dad sticking by his mom during cancer for years. I was diagnosed at 37 with breast cancer, my kids were 11 and 9. My husband has been my crutch since 2016 when it happened. Our lives were forever changed with the surgeries and chronic pain i have daily that makes it hard to get out of bed with the massive amounts of meds i take just to ease pain for 8 years. My husband is truly my angel and the most amazing man I've ever met. We've been married since 2003 and together 8 years before marriage! I don't know how i got so lucky, but I thank God daily for him. He's a firefighter helping people daily. Thank you for the views of how a man feels breaking down to a woman. I think he feels he can tell me most anything except really bad emergencies he runs at work. But Im going to have him watch this reaction of y'all's and bring it up. Thank you so much for supporting Ren. I can't imagine all he's been through and what an honor it is to be a fan of someone so genuine and trying to put good things into the world!
I, the youngest of 3 boys, moved to MN to care for my mother during her battle. She lost. I feel your thoughts BP. Thank you for making me revisit my past. We should always remember where we come from.
This song is great! And I feckin hate it, I normally avoid this track at all costs but here to support you and the channel.
Love to you both ❤❤❤ 🥺 Hopefully we are escaping the stereotype that Man is protector and Woman will look down for showing vulnerability. Amazing heart wrenching song and what a breath of fresh air listening to you both open up. Thank you guys xx
As a 43 year old man who grew up in care with no reference of proper family/real love I can honestly say I could have done with hearing this conversation 20/25 years ago and I'm sure there are young folks about nowadays who need to hear it too. I'm gonna sit down with my grown up children and watch this one with them. Much love guys. 🤜🤛💯
That is what I love about Ren and NF. They are not afraid to show emotion and be vulnerable and they are such an inspiration to the young men and even those in the 40's. Men have always had to be the rock and not show emotions or be vulnerable. The problem is they still have these emotions and they get stuffed down and buried until they fester and become physical illnesses and dis-ease. I am 63 years old married 44 years to a Viet Nam combat vet with PTSD. Whenever he loosens the grip and shows emotion, which is rare, it just makes me love him all the more. There were times I was going to go, because I felt I was in it alone, now we are the closest we have ever been and he is my rock because he is always there and he is my best friend. We are in a disposable world and the first sign of something undesirable people bail and look for greener pastures. Pro tip there are none, no one is perfect including yourself and it is the conflict the struggle that can bring out the best or the worst in us, and can bring us closer. It isn't healthy to keep emotions stuffed down. Probably why men statistically die younger than women. To me there is so much more strength in sharing the struggle, the emotion, the fears and doubts than to stuff it down. Women know something is up, there is something her man is struggling with, and our imaginations are usually much worse than reality (personally speaking lol). And like what was said in another comment if your woman doesn't support you than you are with the wrong woman. I let this go longer than intended, and I love you both even more than I did yesterday for being vulnerable with us.
Ren said this video was made with literally zero budget…they also filmed it in October and he almost got hypothermia. He is truly special in his way to deliver a message.
As a husband and a dad, it's hard to show that side of you, always the rock. I have very supportive wife, but we had a moment, recently, where we were going through a family issue with my wife's dad and while I know she was having a very hard time dealing, so was I as a lot of it fell on me. At one point when I vented, she broke down and it turned into a shouting match until I told her that I'm allowed to break down too. It was all good after that. Still the rock when it's important.
I love that I saw your emotion BP. We all love you🖤
I looked into this and Bibi was Ren's girlfriend at that time. She set up a gofundme page for him to generate money for his treatment. She did stay with him some time after this video was recorded. I read an interview where she said she couldn't imagine leaving him. It looks like the song and video was a premonition for what eventually happened. No wonder he had goose bumps, it was a cold october evening I believe when the video was made. That heater was literally the only thing keeping him warm and it created a nice light too.
i didnt like where this reaction was going at first, but i gave you guys the benefit of the doubt and watched through. im glad i did. Thanks for sharing that story about your parents BP, it was meaningful. especially in how raw you got when you shared it much love. and also shout out to Don admitting he has the think inwardly about his choices too.
This is my what I like to call a ren gem ren is truly amazing that he never misses but he has songs that touch your soul and they are little pockets of gems in the rabbit whole.
Thank you for sharing and being so truly honest you made me cry yet again and it's always ren that brings this out.
BP your dad sounds like an absolute gent and a man you can truly look up to.
My dad has stage 4 cancer and his wife left him because she doesn't want to as she said "end up wiping his bum" so just shows the true love your dad has for your mum ❤
My dad had lung cancer and my mom had alzheimers and he chose to not have"emergency" surgery and spent the last couple of months that she knew who he was and where she was with her.Bravest act I'v ever witnessed.
That is true love .
My late wife & I were married 40 years and shared everything together, especially our emotions. We have 2 daughters + grandkids . After she passed on last July 2022, I became physically challenged cuz of my spinal arthritis. Everyday I want my Crutch back. She could have done everything in her power to help with my health issues…today.
So sorry to hear your loss. Bless you
For me, a relationship is team work. I prefer to share vulnerability together. We hold each other up. To be shunned for opening up to your woman or being protective as a man and not sharing is a act of blindness on both parts. Thank you for opening up. It shows so much strength.
BP, much love sent to you. Thank you for showing your vulnerability. My x husband left when I had breast cancer, left when I was bald, bloated with steroids. Much appreciation towards your Dad for standing by his family.
Don, don't shut your heart down. You can be vulnerable with the right person. Sorry for what you went through. Crutch works both ways.
Any person, man, woman or child who breaks down and opens up their soul is in my eyes a warrior for having that ability to let go, let it out and create space to let the healing in. And ANYONE who does that in front of me or you is giving us a gift and it is a privilege to receive that gift. Anyone who is “turned off” or “disgusted” is unhealed and disconnected from real human experience and as such will not experience the deep array of colour therein and for them and that I feel so deeply sorry. Ren reaches in deep for every piece of light, dark, taste, smell, sound and touch imaginable. Soul shaking, breathtaking and life giving warrior truth. Peace, love and light people ❤
I admire you guys so much for the deep and honest conversations you can have depending on what you’re reacting to. This makes your channel so valuable! Thank you for all you do. ❤
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this one, I guess I'm from a different place but I practically beg my partner to open up to me but I can see the fear that I may think he's weak which is far from the truth much love guys x
Partners should be able to lean on each other, when one is down the other holds their partner up
This is so emotional in many levels. Thank you for reacting to this
Blesss you BP. You started me off crying. I have just losst my dad from cancer in May. He was a rock for my Mum and shown her the world. He faught it but it took him in as little as 6 months with this raging disease. My Mum held his hand till his very last breath. i am now my Mum's crutch.