Catherine Tate is not just a very funny comedian but also a great actress as well. Her period accent and her facial expressions and timing are brilliant.
Catherine Tate is a genius and I reckon this is in fact her best sketch. My favourite line is when she says 'They usually go into show business, don't they'!
Even better - the 'Gene Genie' himself makes an appearance in Part 2! 😹 *Philip Glenister in The Catherine Tate Show* th-cam.com/video/zCHYQd2fDDE/w-d-xo.html
@@crystalidentity technically it translates closer to "pissed off". It was the first Japanese word I learnt from a friend after she got off the phone following an argument with a company :D
@@TheWizardOfTheFens Love CT...But that Nan character does nothing for me. Sorry. I want to laugh at comedy... not regret what we have become as a society.
Yes, Tom Ellis! If you are in the U.S. go to Hulu dot com and watch Miranda, starring Miranda Hart from Call the Midwife. He has a major role on that and I fell madly in love with him watching it! It's very funny.
goodness look at Tom Ellis here looking soooo young like he just graduated from Uni 😂, he still defies age now but hot dayum growing a beard really accentuated his good looks 😍👍👍
A very racist, narrow-minded Mrs. Hudson, sadly! The _real_ Mrs. Hudson has all sorts 'round her. Mrs. Turner next door's even got married ones...! 👨❤️👨
@dickinsonstarkey I don't think it's meant to be Queen's English. It sounds like the same accent as her Nan character - like when working-class people tried to sound posh by rolling their R's.
@@olivercuenca4109 Nan is 75 in the show, which puts her being born in 1933. If it's 1951, then Joanne Taylor would be 18, and I doubt that this woman is 18 with an adolescent daughter who's engaged. Maybe it's her aunt, one of her relatives, and they all share the same cockney style of speaking and that odd laughter.
@@Aritul Anyway, not everyone knows about *_Life On Mars_* . I just saw a reaction vid by a 20-yr-old kid who was watching the two Sam Speed sketches, and he was shocked why people were laughing when the cop gets knocked down by the speeding car, so I explained the whole thing. I was a bit shocked that he didn't even recognise the Beatles song, but I'm not gonna mock him, because not everyone has music-savvy parents or older relations who expose them to music from before they were born... "Let's all get up and dance to a song that was a hit before your mother was born... Though she was born a long, long time ago, your mother should know... Your mother should know." ~ The Beatles
@dickinsonstarkey cor blimey you need to go down the Eastend guv'nor. This is a stereotypical take on Eastend women in the first half of the 20th Century. Watch The Krays and you'll see what she is getting at
Looks like I'm not the only one looking for my anything Tom Ellis fix until "Lucifer" Season 4! What a powerful actor, and genuinely kind and funny man!
I love how Tom's been tweeting anti-Trump messages, and he and his bride kindly asked fans who wanted to send gifts or donations, to send money to Planned Parenthood! What a leftist darling!
*UPDATE: I've **_finally_** managed to decypher 100% of what Mrs. Willard is saying - with **_so much help_** from @Ropsana Khanom - THANK YOU, Ropsana!!! :D* __________________________________________ *Sam Speed: [voice-over]* My name's Sam Speed - Detective Sergeant Sam Speed, Thames Valley Police. In 2006, I was on a routine enquiry... when _this_ happened. - I was hit by a car travelling at 60 miles an hour. When I woke up . . . it was 1951. - Am I dead? In a coma? Or gone back in time? *Young Boy:* Y'olright guv'na? Looks like you come a right nasty cropper there, so it does. 'Ow 'bout we 'elp you back on yer bike. *Sam Speed: [voice-over]* Whatever's happened? It's like I've landed on a different planet. - This is my house! At least... it _looks_ like my house. *Ma:* 'Ello son I been expectin' you I'm Mrs. Willard but everyone calls me Ma. *Sam Speed:* Ex-pecting me? *Ma:* Well you're 'ere for the room aintcha? Now listen up, 'ouse rules. If you want any supper you'll be back indoors by six-thirty. It's liver on Monday, suet on Tuesday; liver on Wednesday, suet on Thursday; fish 'n' chips on Friday. On Saturday it's a surprise, and it's a roast on the Sabbath. You'll be in your bed by ten, and sat down for your breakfast by seven. You can have bread 'n' drippin' during the week, porridge on Saturday, and a good Suffolk sausage every second Sunday. - If you see my Jeanie knockin' about the place, you're to leave 'er alone. She's of a ripe age but she's promised to a farmer. 'Cos I tell you this - police fellow or no police fellow. If you give me any trouble you'll be out of the door quicker than you can say ‘doolally tap’. Well don't stand there on the doorstep galling like a dullard, people will think I'm a scarlet woman so they will. MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ______________________________________________ *Ma:* Sit down an' take the weight off. - Make some space for the young fella. Or better still, get that sad backside of yours back down the gasworks, look at the time, now I told you once about your jiggery-pokery you'll be out on your ear an' _then_ see what you get. - I'll make us a nice pot of Lipton's tea. _Pipin'_ hot . . . if you _don't_ mind! - Get some cigarettes on the side. Help yourself, why dontcha. *Sam Speed:* Err, thanks! but I, I don't smoke... *Ma:* What _is_ the matter, lad? You feelin' a little _elsewhere_ ? *Sam Speed:* No. I, I don't smoke. *Ma:* Stick one behind your ear for later. When you're feelin' better. - I bet yer guts is 'angin' out, innit they? Get that down ya. _That_ 'll fill a hole. *Sam Speed:* What's this? *Ma:* It's Saturday Surpriiise! *Sam Speed:* I... don't eat meat. *Ma:* Stop talkin' gibberish an' eat your giblets. *Sam Speed:* No, no - I'm, I'm a vegetarian. *Ma:* Well. Blow me down... I never met a _real_ one. An' a police officer to _boot_ ! They usually go into showbusiness, don't they? *Jeannie:* Mum, 'ave you seen me stays? - Oh. Pardon me, I didn't _know_ we had company. *Sam Speed:* Hi... *Jeannie:* How do you do? *Sam Speed:* Detective Sergeant Sam Speed, Thames Valley Police. *Ma:* You keep your eyes out front, and your smiles for your mother! Don't go puttin' any ideas into _my_ Jeannie's head, she's a big enough dreamer as it is. I've told you before, she's betrothed to the son of a farmer and _we need_ the onions. *Jeannie:* I _can_ dream, mum! *Ma:* You'll do no such thing. Remember what your grandmother used to say. “Slow and steady wins the race - but no good will come from a one-eyed sailor.” - Now go to the pantry and 'elp your father organise 'is boots. - Get yer 'at off the table son, you don't live at 'ome _anymore_ , y'know. MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Var:* Anyone 'ome? *Ma:* Hello, Var! - Now Var, what _is_ the matter, you _do_ look queer. *Var:* 'Ere, I've ever 'ad such a _fright_ ! I just seen the _new_ family movin' into Number 47! *Ma:* Yes...? *Var:* Black as your 'at, they are - every last one of 'em!! *Ma:* Oh, Var... *Var:* My Nellie came over _all unnecessary_ when she clapped eyes on 'em! _Wot a thing to 'appen!!_ *Ma:* Now pull yourself together, gettin' yourself all hot 'n' bothered. Come one, come all, that's what _I_ say. As long they're decent, law-abidin' citizens, there's no reason why we can't all live together side-by-side in peace and harmony. *Var:* Oh... *Ma:* _However._ If they think they can start knockin' on my door with bones through their noses, they're very much mistaken. *Sam Speed:* You can't say that! *Var:* _Wot's this??_ *Ma:* Oh, take no notice of copper-top 'ere. 'E's 'ad a knock on the 'ead. - Well, look at the _time_ ... It's ten past _six_ , and we 'aven't 'ad a _sing-song_ yet! *Var:* Oh! *Ma:* Come into the parlour, Var. A bit of cheerin' up's what you need! MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ______________________________________________ *Willard family and Var: [singing]* I dillied and dallied, Dallied and dillied, Lost me way and don't know where to roam. You can't trust a special Like the old time coppers When you can't find your way 'ome...! *Ma:* MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Ma:* What's the matter son, are you not a singer of songs? *Sam Speed:* Errr, not really. Well, I know a few... *Jeannie:* Oh, I should _love_ to 'ear you sing! *Ma:* You keep your eyes out front, young woman! - Budge up, 'Erbert. - Come on then son, let's see what yer made of! *Sam Speed: [sings]* When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom: “Let it be”... *Ma:* _Wot_ a bleedin' racket - you tryin' to deafen us all?? Ooh, _my lug-'oles!!_ - Come on, look _sharp_ 'Erbert. - Go an' stand over there son, you've _embarrassed_ yerself, so you 'ave! - Oh, Var - what a load of bleedin' _rubbish!!_ *Willard family and Var: [singing]* Let's all... go down the Strand - 'ave a banana! Let's all... go down the Strand - 'ave a banana! Let's all... go down the Strand - 'ave a banana! *Sam Speed: [mouths]* « Please. Help. Me. » ______________________________________________
Not sweet it's = there sir it does It's not nan = everyone calls me Ma If you see my Jeanie knocking about the place, you're to leave her alone She's of a ripe age and promised Cause I tell you this, police fellow Noses, they're very much mistaken
@@RK-ep8qy Okay, I've corrected those ones - that's awesome! :D Now, there's two remaining bits I can't get. Just after the "Slow and steady wins the race" speech, she tells Sam "Get yer 'at off the table son, [ . . . ] anymore, y'know." And the last missing bit is (just after Sam sang the Beatles song) "Wot a bleedin' racket - you tryin' to deafen us all?? Oh my [ . . . ] !!" Thanks!
@@crystalidentity I can sort of make out those but not clearly and they're probs not right which is why I left them out. So I can hear, "You don't have many more you know" it might be this or her saying holiday and then something else. Like I said these two I'm really not sure about sorry 😬😅 Oh my lavards (I think I've heard this before but i think I've spelt it wrong or heard it wrong, it's something to do with the ears tho obvs)
@@RK-ep8qy Hi Ropsana - thank you _so much_ for all of your help until now, you've been incredible!! :D For the last bit, I was looking up 'laggards' and 'lavards' but I found there was no such word. Then I looked up the 'L' words in the British Slang Dictionary - and found 'lug-holes' which means ear holes. 'Lugs' means ears! Now it makes sense... :) www.peevish.co.uk/slang/l.htm
MY Mum is is a really good nursing home and they have singers { and other varied events} on all the time, I wait with baited breath during a sing song because any song they can fit a "have a banana" into they always do and the best part is they are so deadly serious when they do it, oh I love it so lol
Why were they so obsessed with having a banana, though? Was it because it was an exotic imported delicacy in those days? I recall an old sketch from *_Alexei Sayle's Stuff_* where he plays a spiv trying to sell black-market bananas hidden inside his trenchcoat!
OMG - just looked him up...!! Haha, he does vaguely look alike... But, pardon my anglo - this fucker sounds like an absolute DICK. I literally _can't_ understand how the British can even tolerate the likes of him and that other racist wanker, Jeremy Clarkson (who unfortunately sometimes also gets compared in appearance to my favourite singer, Neil Tennant, haha!). en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giles_Coren#Controversies
A very racist, narrow-minded Mrs. Hudson, sadly! The _real_ Mrs. Hudson has all sorts 'round her. Mrs. Turner next door's even got married ones...! 👨❤️👨
that guy is also in the bbc programme where him and this comdey woman do a show where they go into an eira and see and est the foods like one time they went back to the 50's life.
Haha - you're right! Have you seen Part 2 of the sketch? The 'Gene Genie' himself makes an appearance!! ;D *Philip Glenister in The Catherine Tate Show* th-cam.com/video/zCHYQd2fDDE/w-d-xo.html
A very racist, narrow-minded Mrs. Hudson, sadly! The _real_ Mrs. Hudson has all sorts 'round her. Mrs. Turner next door's even got married ones...! 👨❤️👨
@@ronaldcustard4636 I was about to remark on your own demise, but you've had so many incarnations and reboots, I've lost track of what happened to you.
I was about to say all they need is Gene Hunt to appear, but then in the next skecht when here on the beach he appears. This couldn't be more perfect Catherine Tate and Life on Mars
![เปิดบ้าน พี่ตูน Bodyslam หลังใหม่คนแรก ที่ภูเก็ต l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/flFwcmyDQSk/mqdefault.jpg)
Catherine Tate is not just a very funny comedian but also a great actress as well.
Her period accent and her facial expressions and timing are brilliant.
Catherine Tate is a genius and I reckon this is in fact her best sketch. My favourite line is when she says 'They usually go into show business, don't they'!
This must be Nan when she was younger. I know that laugh!
Maybe so.... but look what she developed into.
Something not funny at all.
Well you're right! I never even thought of it!
That is EXACTLy what I thought, as well!
Nah, it can't be because nan in the 50s had long hair and got married to Jake, who wasn't a bald fat man.
“You keep your eyes out front, and your smiles for your mother”
One of her funniest sketches 😂
Let's all go down the strand, _HAVE A BANANA!!!_ lmao
I always end up singing this drunk...
@@andrewmark2783 me to lol, and everytime I go shopping in the fruit and veg Isle, once it's in your head you can't get it out. 😁
Lucifer Morningstar, Donna Noble, and Mrs Hudson! Lmao I didn’t realize they all did something together. Hellavu crossover lmao
Even better - the 'Gene Genie' himself makes an appearance in Part 2! 😹
*Philip Glenister in The Catherine Tate Show*
th-cam.com/video/zCHYQd2fDDE/w-d-xo.html
Not to mention Tom Ellis was actually in an episode of doctor who with Martha (sound of drums/last of the timelords)
This is the funniest sketch ever. The end is an absolute gem.
As a Londoner born in the fifties, the similarities are so true of that time!
Born in Manchester 1951…..love this sketch !
Remember what your grandmother used to say "slow and steady wins the race but no good'll come from a one eyed sailor"
My favourite line
😂
@Sergiu Stanciu At the risk of sounding indelicate, 'one-eyed sailor' or 'one-eyed trouser snake' is a common British euphemism for a penis! 👖🐍
To late, I think I've met that one eyed sailor, *MAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHA*"
Absolutely Class...nearly pissed myself at these
For this incredible sketch alone, The Catherine Tate Show should have received a BAFTA.
Catherine does a perfect job here. Promised to the farmers son : we need the onions!
when the land lady started speaking I checked my playback speed if I forgot to set it back to normal.
"They usually go into show-business don't they?" LOL.
@Michael G How Very Dare you!
"Well don't stand there on the doorstep galling like a dullard, people will think I'm a scarlet woman so they will. *_MAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHA_*"
Thanks for that. I couldn't understand her.
Thanks as well. I’ve got Alzheimer’s.
@@hilarybarker1386 yes, but a little less nasal! Janice was more like Fran Drescher in The Nanny.
This was the first time I had seen Tom Ellis, and I thought at the time "oh wow,this young man going to go far ". Very glad that I was right.
TheMargaretfletcher yes...Lucifer lol
Don't forget Miranda!
Lol you should seen him now Netflix
Yeah, I don't watch a lot of T.V and so I had no idea who he was, but I'm in love tonight, anyway 💕.
So the police is Lucifer!???
Waking up in 1951 and it's Hell on Earth, but then you realise you'll be the ruler of Hell anyway
Mukatsuku wake up in your house but full of strangers so burnt that house 🤦🏻♀️
@Mukatsuku - your Japanese name is so weird and hilarious! (What is it that makes you so 'nauseated', though?? 🤢)
@@crystalidentity technically it translates closer to "pissed off". It was the first Japanese word I learnt from a friend after she got off the phone following an argument with a company :D
This guy can actually sing
Of course he can, he's Welsh.
He sings all the time in *_Lucifer_* - have you not seen it yet? 🎤😈🎶
"Slow and steady wins the race but no good'll come from a one-eyed sailor." 🤣
I keep coming back to this gem. Catherine Tate is the goddess of comedy so she is maaaahaaahaaa!
Back to the year I was born...
Catherine Tate , just brilliant
So gorgeous! And still is.
Oooooh the GORGEOUS TOM ELLIS!!! Grrrrrrrrrr
Lucifer
This really reminds me of the proper Ealing comedies from the 50's
My God, Catherine is sharp, both in writing and in performance!
I love how the cop whispers at the end please help me
OMG he played Let it be 😍😍😍😍😍😍
I was absolutely poorless when she interrupted him playing let it be
All i see is catherine tate and tom ellis in a scene together. I cant really hear anything else
And Mrs. Hudson from _BBC Sherlock_ as the racist neighbour!
Tom Ellis doing a good Miranda 'talking to the camera' at the end!
He should've mimed the desperate wave and drowning in the water!
@@dollcefina haha yes!!
Nan in the 50s!
correct! Same hair, same laugh!
@@TheWizardOfTheFens Love CT...But that Nan character does nothing for me. Sorry.
I want to laugh at comedy...
not regret what we have become as a society.
i can't believe i only recognize tom ellis from his singing voice.... he looks like a young darren criss back then
Tom Ellis in a police uniform!! Why haven’t I discovered this sooner 😍😍😍
"Well blow me down". Genius, after a spinach reference.
"bones through their noses" killed me hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yes, Tom Ellis! If you are in the U.S. go to Hulu dot com and watch Miranda, starring Miranda Hart from Call the Midwife. He has a major role on that and I fell madly in love with him watching it! It's very funny.
Oh - I didn't know Miranda was in _Call the Midwife_ .
she really is a good comedy writer
goodness look at Tom Ellis here looking soooo young like he just graduated from Uni 😂, he still defies age now but hot dayum growing a beard really accentuated his good looks 😍👍👍
Is this Gary in Miranda?
You keep your eyes out front and your smiles for your mother.... pmsl
stop talking gibberish and eat your giblets haha
5:22 I wanna hear the full Tom-Ellis-Cover, pliiis D:
5:41 Amazed-letting-pipe-down-moment XD
Its Gary from Miranda series!!! :D :D :D
We neeed the onions 😃😃😂😂😆
Tom Ellis sings at 5:36 Love it.
I think we can all safely say that Catherine Tate is a comedic genius.
"A good Suffolk sausage every second Sunday."
Poetry
it's Mrs. Hudson...
A very racist, narrow-minded Mrs. Hudson, sadly! The _real_ Mrs. Hudson has all sorts 'round her. Mrs. Turner next door's even got married ones...! 👨❤️👨
@dickinsonstarkey I don't think it's meant to be Queen's English. It sounds like the same accent as her Nan character - like when working-class people tried to sound posh by rolling their R's.
I always presumed that the lady in this was Nan if I'm honest. She's the right age for it.
Sawrattan Queens English!? Far from it HA! This is East End friend.
Insert Name Here same laugh
@@olivercuenca4109 Nan is 75 in the show, which puts her being born in 1933. If it's 1951, then Joanne Taylor would be 18, and I doubt that this woman is 18 with an adolescent daughter who's engaged. Maybe it's her aunt, one of her relatives, and they all share the same cockney style of speaking and that odd laughter.
@@EclipseOfTsuki93 Maybe Ginnie in this became Joannie/Nan... she could be about 18 here easily.
The woman could be her mum lol
He's got such a lovely singing voice - never knew
lucifer
Tom Ellis, look up 'Gary and Miranda'... you won't regret it... also he was in Doctor Who, Merlin and many other things...
Which Doctor Who season???
Which episode???
Last of the Time Lords
@@liliantorrente1494 Thanks! :D Who'd he play in *_Merlin_* , though?
@@neszi3 S03 E13
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_of_the_Time_Lords
I would watch this as a time travel show.
Is it just me or does that laugh sound strikingly familiar..
Nathaniel Taylor I thought it was the nan when she was younger 😂
@@coolwahl it is x
SimplyEm is it? She has a different name though
@@coolwahl hmm maybe not. I don't know x
SimplyEm we will never know 😂
and we need the onions
stop talking jibberish and eat ya jiblets
hahaa
x
i love Tom Ellis.
I swear to god Una Stubbs's face on the 2nd "have a banana" is comedy gold! I piss myself laughing everytime
people will think i'm a scarlet woman say they will...mwohahahahahah....Lmao! xD
I am a massive fan of english language and this accent is soooo well done ...
Seb maybe because she's English... It's also very overdone
That’s because they are English...
London accent of a certain era exaggerated for comedy.
Nice reference to "Life On Mars"
Wow you must be the brains in your family
@@terrys461 And you must be the arse in your family...
@@crystalidentity 😂
@@Aritul Anyway, not everyone knows about *_Life On Mars_* . I just saw a reaction vid by a 20-yr-old kid who was watching the two Sam Speed sketches, and he was shocked why people were laughing when the cop gets knocked down by the speeding car, so I explained the whole thing. I was a bit shocked that he didn't even recognise the Beatles song, but I'm not gonna mock him, because not everyone has music-savvy parents or older relations who expose them to music from before they were born...
"Let's all get up and dance to a song that was a hit before your mother was born... Though she was born a long, long time ago, your mother should know... Your mother should know." ~ The Beatles
its called a parody
This show has two of my faves Catherine Tate and Tom Ellis
love the put the pipe down moment, when the old man hears the intro to 'let it be'
Donna Noble, Mrs Hudson and Lucifer in one room. Lucifer doesn't stand a chance.
@dickinsonstarkey cor blimey you need to go down the Eastend guv'nor. This is a stereotypical take on Eastend women in the first half of the 20th Century. Watch The Krays and you'll see what she is getting at
Michael C I know someone who worked for the Krays. He's in his 70's now but still has his marbles. So be careful. :)
@@unhban Why does he need to be careful telling you to check out accents on a movie...?
First time I’ve seen this. I’d have happily watched a full series based in this.
It's a parody of an actual show, Life on Mars.
Looks like I'm not the only one looking for my anything Tom Ellis fix until "Lucifer" Season 4! What a powerful actor, and genuinely kind and funny man!
I've been watching alot of Tom Ellis since discovering Lucifer
I love how Tom's been tweeting anti-Trump messages, and he and his bride kindly asked fans who wanted to send gifts or donations, to send money to Planned Parenthood! What a leftist darling!
5:42 kills me
Wow, the film Yesterday was ripped off from this sketch.
Tom Ellis looks so young here Dashing as ever He is sooooo very good at comedy
*UPDATE: I've **_finally_** managed to decypher 100% of what Mrs. Willard is saying - with **_so much help_** from @Ropsana Khanom - THANK YOU, Ropsana!!! :D*
__________________________________________
*Sam Speed: [voice-over]* My name's Sam Speed - Detective Sergeant Sam Speed, Thames Valley Police. In 2006, I was on a routine enquiry... when _this_ happened.
- I was hit by a car travelling at 60 miles an hour. When I woke up . . . it was 1951.
- Am I dead? In a coma? Or gone back in time?
*Young Boy:* Y'olright guv'na? Looks like you come a right nasty cropper there, so it does. 'Ow 'bout we 'elp you back on yer bike.
*Sam Speed: [voice-over]* Whatever's happened? It's like I've landed on a different planet.
- This is my house! At least... it _looks_ like my house.
*Ma:* 'Ello son I been expectin' you I'm Mrs. Willard but everyone calls me Ma.
*Sam Speed:* Ex-pecting me?
*Ma:* Well you're 'ere for the room aintcha? Now listen up, 'ouse rules. If you want any supper you'll be back indoors by six-thirty. It's liver on Monday, suet on Tuesday; liver on Wednesday, suet on Thursday; fish 'n' chips on Friday. On Saturday it's a surprise, and it's a roast on the Sabbath. You'll be in your bed by ten, and sat down for your breakfast by seven. You can have bread 'n' drippin' during the week, porridge on Saturday, and a good Suffolk sausage every second Sunday.
- If you see my Jeanie knockin' about the place, you're to leave 'er alone. She's of a ripe age but she's promised to a farmer. 'Cos I tell you this - police fellow or no police fellow. If you give me any trouble you'll be out of the door quicker than you can say ‘doolally tap’. Well don't stand there on the doorstep galling like a dullard, people will think I'm a scarlet woman so they will. MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
______________________________________________
*Ma:* Sit down an' take the weight off.
- Make some space for the young fella. Or better still, get that sad backside of yours back down the gasworks, look at the time, now I told you once about your jiggery-pokery you'll be out on your ear an' _then_ see what you get.
- I'll make us a nice pot of Lipton's tea. _Pipin'_ hot . . . if you _don't_ mind!
- Get some cigarettes on the side. Help yourself, why dontcha.
*Sam Speed:* Err, thanks! but I, I don't smoke...
*Ma:* What _is_ the matter, lad? You feelin' a little _elsewhere_ ?
*Sam Speed:* No. I, I don't smoke.
*Ma:* Stick one behind your ear for later. When you're feelin' better.
- I bet yer guts is 'angin' out, innit they? Get that down ya. _That_ 'll fill a hole.
*Sam Speed:* What's this?
*Ma:* It's Saturday Surpriiise!
*Sam Speed:* I... don't eat meat.
*Ma:* Stop talkin' gibberish an' eat your giblets.
*Sam Speed:* No, no - I'm, I'm a vegetarian.
*Ma:* Well. Blow me down... I never met a _real_ one. An' a police officer to _boot_ ! They usually go into showbusiness, don't they?
*Jeannie:* Mum, 'ave you seen me stays?
- Oh. Pardon me, I didn't _know_ we had company.
*Sam Speed:* Hi...
*Jeannie:* How do you do?
*Sam Speed:* Detective Sergeant Sam Speed, Thames Valley Police.
*Ma:* You keep your eyes out front, and your smiles for your mother! Don't go puttin' any ideas into _my_ Jeannie's head, she's a big enough dreamer as it is. I've told you before, she's betrothed to the son of a farmer and _we need_ the onions.
*Jeannie:* I _can_ dream, mum!
*Ma:* You'll do no such thing. Remember what your grandmother used to say. “Slow and steady wins the race - but no good will come from a one-eyed sailor.”
- Now go to the pantry and 'elp your father organise 'is boots.
- Get yer 'at off the table son, you don't live at 'ome _anymore_ , y'know. MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*Var:* Anyone 'ome?
*Ma:* Hello, Var!
- Now Var, what _is_ the matter, you _do_ look queer.
*Var:* 'Ere, I've ever 'ad such a _fright_ ! I just seen the _new_ family movin' into Number 47!
*Ma:* Yes...?
*Var:* Black as your 'at, they are - every last one of 'em!!
*Ma:* Oh, Var...
*Var:* My Nellie came over _all unnecessary_ when she clapped eyes on 'em! _Wot a thing to 'appen!!_
*Ma:* Now pull yourself together, gettin' yourself all hot 'n' bothered. Come one, come all, that's what _I_ say. As long they're decent, law-abidin' citizens, there's no reason why we can't all live together side-by-side in peace and harmony.
*Var:* Oh...
*Ma:* _However._ If they think they can start knockin' on my door with bones through their noses, they're very much mistaken.
*Sam Speed:* You can't say that!
*Var:* _Wot's this??_
*Ma:* Oh, take no notice of copper-top 'ere. 'E's 'ad a knock on the 'ead.
- Well, look at the _time_ ... It's ten past _six_ , and we 'aven't 'ad a _sing-song_ yet!
*Var:* Oh!
*Ma:* Come into the parlour, Var. A bit of cheerin' up's what you need! MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
______________________________________________
*Willard family and Var: [singing]*
I dillied and dallied,
Dallied and dillied,
Lost me way and don't know where to roam.
You can't trust a special
Like the old time coppers
When you can't find your way 'ome...!
*Ma:* MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*Ma:* What's the matter son, are you not a singer of songs?
*Sam Speed:* Errr, not really. Well, I know a few...
*Jeannie:* Oh, I should _love_ to 'ear you sing!
*Ma:* You keep your eyes out front, young woman!
- Budge up, 'Erbert.
- Come on then son, let's see what yer made of!
*Sam Speed: [sings]*
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Mother Mary comes to me.
Speaking words of wisdom:
“Let it be”...
*Ma:* _Wot_ a bleedin' racket - you tryin' to deafen us all?? Ooh, _my lug-'oles!!_
- Come on, look _sharp_ 'Erbert.
- Go an' stand over there son, you've _embarrassed_ yerself, so you 'ave!
- Oh, Var - what a load of bleedin' _rubbish!!_
*Willard family and Var: [singing]*
Let's all... go down the Strand - 'ave a banana!
Let's all... go down the Strand - 'ave a banana!
Let's all... go down the Strand - 'ave a banana!
*Sam Speed: [mouths]* « Please. Help. Me. »
______________________________________________
Not sweet it's = there sir it does
It's not nan = everyone calls me Ma
If you see my Jeanie knocking about the place, you're to leave her alone
She's of a ripe age and promised
Cause I tell you this, police fellow
Noses, they're very much mistaken
@@RK-ep8qy THANK YOU so much!! Will fix up these bits.
@@RK-ep8qy Okay, I've corrected those ones - that's awesome! :D Now, there's two remaining bits I can't get. Just after the "Slow and steady wins the race" speech, she tells Sam "Get yer 'at off the table son, [ . . . ] anymore, y'know."
And the last missing bit is (just after Sam sang the Beatles song) "Wot a bleedin' racket - you tryin' to deafen us all?? Oh my [ . . . ] !!"
Thanks!
@@crystalidentity I can sort of make out those but not clearly and they're probs not right which is why I left them out. So I can hear,
"You don't have many more you know" it might be this or her saying holiday and then something else. Like I said these two I'm really not sure about sorry 😬😅
Oh my lavards (I think I've heard this before but i think I've spelt it wrong or heard it wrong, it's something to do with the ears tho obvs)
@@RK-ep8qy Hi Ropsana - thank you _so much_ for all of your help until now, you've been incredible!! :D For the last bit, I was looking up 'laggards' and 'lavards' but I found there was no such word. Then I looked up the 'L' words in the British Slang Dictionary - and found 'lug-holes' which means ear holes. 'Lugs' means ears! Now it makes sense... :)
www.peevish.co.uk/slang/l.htm
Have a banana!!!
Weird. The same thing happened to me.
MY Mum is is a really good nursing home and they have singers { and other varied events} on all the time, I wait with baited breath during a sing song because any song they can fit a "have a banana" into they always do and the best part is they are so deadly serious when they do it, oh I love it so lol
Ron Wylie I'm gonna make it a mission to find a nursing home where they do this.
Why were they so obsessed with having a banana, though? Was it because it was an exotic imported delicacy in those days? I recall an old sketch from *_Alexei Sayle's Stuff_* where he plays a spiv trying to sell black-market bananas hidden inside his trenchcoat!
I wonder if Danny Boyle got the idea for his new film yesterday.by watching this 5:24 ??????
Haha - maybe you're right!! ;D
luv this, brill
he reminds me of Giles Coren, just considerably taller and younger
Giles Coren??
OMG - just looked him up...!! Haha, he does vaguely look alike... But, pardon my anglo - this fucker sounds like an absolute DICK. I literally _can't_ understand how the British can even tolerate the likes of him and that other racist wanker, Jeremy Clarkson (who unfortunately sometimes also gets compared in appearance to my favourite singer, Neil Tennant, haha!).
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giles_Coren#Controversies
What is the song playing at the start when he is on his motorbike?
ave a bannana! LMAO!
MRS. HUDSON!!!!!!
A very racist, narrow-minded Mrs. Hudson, sadly! The _real_ Mrs. Hudson has all sorts 'round her. Mrs. Turner next door's even got married ones...! 👨❤️👨
Lucifer has stepped up in this world
Isn't that the wonderful Una Stubbs as the neighbour? She also appears in other Tate sketches. Bless her.
Life on Mars parody😂
God, I miss that show... The sequel I just couldn't quite get into.
TOM ELLIS!!!
that guy is also in the bbc programme where him and this comdey woman do a show where they go into an eira and see and est the foods like one time they went back to the 50's life.
What? Which show is that?
Can't trust a special like the old time coppers - pretty apt choice for a song.
Haha - you're right! Have you seen Part 2 of the sketch? The 'Gene Genie' himself makes an appearance!! ;D
*Philip Glenister in The Catherine Tate Show*
th-cam.com/video/zCHYQd2fDDE/w-d-xo.html
Tell me miss tate, what do you really desire?
❤ Catherine Tate
OMG.... !!!! This is one of the best sketches she has ever done....... so funny. It's genius. :):)
Brexit Britain ..... I bet the Rees Mogg family have chuckled over this sketch many a time ..set in Jacobs utopian Era
@imanacer Tom Ellis, who is also my favorite 'villian' on Merlin as King Cedren...yummy!
I didn't know his Merlin character was a villain - NICE!!!
She really nails the accent you hear in old films.
That is Mrs Hudson!
A very racist, narrow-minded Mrs. Hudson, sadly! The _real_ Mrs. Hudson has all sorts 'round her. Mrs. Turner next door's even got married ones...! 👨❤️👨
And the devil has always played the piano! 😈
Tom Ellis for James Bond
He'd be perfect, wouldn't he?
No - @@lauraopper2571
Better yet, a Bond villain!
I LOVE THAT I HAVE FOUND THIS VIDEO
Tom Ellis is sooo handsome!
I wish someone could provide a transcription of the dialogue! I could barely make out half of what they were saying, lol...
Crystalline Entity what part didn't you get? I can transcribe it but to do the whole video would take too long
Crystalline Entity I thought you were destroyed near Melona IV
@@ronaldcustard4636 I was about to remark on your own demise, but you've had so many incarnations and reboots, I've lost track of what happened to you.
Crystalline Entity At least I came back you where destroyed lol
@@ronaldcustard4636 Awww, shit - Touché!! 🌞❄️😰💦
My God!
When Donna.. I mean Catherine laughed!... It's so weird!!!😮😌😝
Just like my gran’s house. Copnor, Portsmouth.
She absolutely nails it every time. A classic. As good as the two Ronnie dare I say.
I was about to say all they need is Gene Hunt to appear, but then in the next skecht when here on the beach he appears. This couldn't be more perfect Catherine Tate and Life on Mars
th-cam.com/video/zCHYQd2fDDE/w-d-xo.html
herbet get back down the gas works.. not before we have a sing song HAVE A BANANNA