Living With High Functioning Anxiety | Jordan Raskopoulos | TEDxSydney
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ค. 2017
- As a comedian and performer, Jordan Raskopolous does not suffer from stage fright, but away from the lights it’s a different story. In this compelling and funny talk, she shares her insights into what it is like to live with high functioning anxiety and how people like her can be perceived - to be both shy and loud at the same time. A talk many will relate to and one that offers strategies for dealing with it.
Jordan Raskopoulos is a comedian, musician and digital content creator. She is best known as the lead singer of The Axis of Awesome, a world renowned musical comedy group and TH-cam Juggernaut. She is the creative director of Press Start Productions. Press Start is currently producing Insert Coin, an ongoing web series about video games. Jordan is also host of This is About, a narrative non-fiction podcast on ABC RN. In 2016 she came out as transgender in a viral video called ‘What’s Happened to Jordan’s Beard’. Since then Jordan has become an inspiration to young LGBTQIA+ people by living her genuine life, openly and publicly and using her platform and profile to promote awareness and understanding to a broad audience through humour.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
People: you're so calm
Me: Actually, I'm just too anxious to express my anxiety
Same
Omg exactly. I will look calm but inside it's so intense and awful that I put all my focus on it and cant really make my body do much
Same..
Exactly!!
My thoughts are so intense it's not even funny! It's like I'm way too connected to the world around me that it makes me anxious. Things about the world upset me, other people's struggles and sadness saddens me. I feel so much all the time. Ugh...
The daunting thing about high functioning anxiety is that you face your fears all the time but the fear never goes away.
YES! THIS ALL DAY EVERY DAY! I am right there with you.
It’s crazy how we learn to live daily in such a mentally/emotionally chaotic space that it’s normal
@@lisaeaker9064 Yeah, I usually have a hard time noticing when I am stressed out if I am not actively triggered by a single event or thing, because I am so used to being stressed out that my tolerance to it (aka the level of stress I can handle why still functionning) is so dangerously high. So if it just builds up, I don't notice, just like a frog in boiling water.
@@honey-chanhaninozuka506 I always say that others have no idea what I deal with inside my head and that most people couldn’t do it
@@honey-chanhaninozuka506 like the saying goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger “
When she said “I never relax, I never stop. Even when I’m procrastinating!!”
That is such a true line.
That's a dude.
@@jonhohensee3258 I am pretty sure that's a woman.
@@littlepurple4794 - Nope. Do some research.
@Erin ! So? That's a guy. Are you really that dense?
Lol this is a man
My anxiety forces me to go back and reanalyze any social interaction after-the-fact: Did I say too much because I was nervous/"loudshy"? Did talk about myself too much? Did I ask enough questions? It all goes back to that fear that you're being judged... Especially with first impressions like at a party
I've always done this, for the longest time I thought everyone did!
@@Violet-Lily good point maybe most people do! It's probably normal to some extent, but sometimes it keeps me up at night worrying about it, and that's probably too much lol
Yes! If I manage to not overthink it for once I get really surprised! ❤️
Yes! This is me. After every conversation I'm thinking I was a disappointment to everyone around me and I should've said this or done that to make myself more "attractive". For some reason I'm never thinking about what THEY said or did as disappointing/awkward. In fact, most of the time, I don't remember their part in the situation. Hmmmm.... maybe I should focus on that idea.
If I don't remember much about their side, maybe they're not even thinking about MY actions/words. Did I just have an epiphany? I gotta write that down! 🙂🙂
I think the same thing all the time
I think the worst thing is when I get stuck between doing work or relaxing and don't accomplish either.
YES EXACTLYYYYY
Yessss. I end up just sitting here for hours staring at the screen, cause if I play music or a video I cant focus on what I should be doing, but I don't need to finish it till next week so I can relax. This just goes on and on till something/someone stops me
Yes
Literally me right now
You mean like watching youtube videos for hours?
"I'm never relaxing, even when I'm procrastinating..." Yep... Can't stop thinking. Can't get anything done. Can't relax.
Same here
C Wood, so freakin accurate.
Yes, there's always something left unfinished, or undone, but cant seem to just 'start'.
Absolutely relate. It makes my day to day messed up. My job is where I suffer. Cyber hugs to an anxiety sister.
Omg there's more people out there like me. .......
"I just need to leave everything for the last minute and it's fine"- my life motto. 90% of my time is spent ridden with anxiety over a task, 10% is spent actually doing the task.
How do you handle it, thats the same with me
@@mrgd7813
Check out the Anxiety Guy here on YT! He helped me more for free, than the therapists I used to pay!
Same I also do that
OMG!!! That is so me!! 😳
@@jonhohensee3258 Yes ridden is a word. debt ridden, doubt ridden anxiety ridden... 😎
i really loved the way that she reframed procrastination. as someone who has been diagnosed with anxiety and has issues with deadlines but always had “high quality work” and “great grades” it didn’t make sense that i constantly procrastinate. but she’s so right- i was constantly paralyzed and unable to sit down to actually work on a project. i had even gotten an extension for it and still wasn’t working on it. but i was thinking about it so much that i had dreams about it and would wake up thinking about my project. when i sat down to work on it due 2 hours before, i got one of the best grades and feedback i’d ever received.
Lol, very true. I find that this is the case with me too, and I also suffer with anxiety. Thanks for sharing.
Same. I often rush it or even cheat out of fear of failing
omg same
In addition to anxiety, I want to mention that this can also be a part of Executive Dysfunction. I have ADHD and anxiety, and both of these things mess with my ability to do things on time instead of stressing until the last possible minute to start.
This was my life all through high school. In my senior year, I handed in NOTHING to my teacher for the first three terms. Final exams came and I scored top marks in every paper. She had a conversation with me afterwards - why did you put me through so much anxiety? I thought you weren't even going to show up for the exams.
I
Today it took me an hour to work up the courage to return a phone call I missed from the employer of the job I applied for. Even though I sound confident on the phone, my heart is racing, my face is red and I hate every minute of it.
Did you get the job?
Nick D no, I didn’t. It started too early in the morning and I wouldn’t have a ride. Otherwise I probably would have gotten it. But it’s okay, I didn’t really want the job anyways.
I have to call the cultural center administrator tomorrow to check my toeic test results and i've been thinking and stressing about it since a week, makinh phone calls are seriously the worst for me even if my mom often says i sound very confident on the phone but as u said inside im just stressed af
I get anxious every time I sit to study, because I’m constantly wondering if I’d get of all the info inside my head and not to fall asleep in the way.
I hear ya! I was in an accident 3 years ago and I had to call a lawyer's firm for representation. I was so nervous it took me about an hour to psych myself up, my hands and voice shook through the minute-long conversation, and when I hung up, I was drenched in sweat! Glad to know it's not just me...
"Even small tasks take a lot of mental energy" whoa
I sometimes procastinate paying credits cards online because i just don't feel like doing anything.
Sameeee
So true
God bless them and wish them normal routine..
Oh ya, over thinking a problem is a real issue
" Even the smallest tasks take a lot of mental energy" that I can relate to well
When Jordan spoke about how anxiety manifests at work, I started crying, overwhelmed at the relief that someone can explain the same experience I have, that I finally understand this part of myself. Thank you so much Jordan, you are helping so many by sharing your authentic story
I can so relate to her work ethics-procrastination up to the last minute and focusing on one thing. There were days when I even lose sleep because of unaccomplished tasks-i just think of them even if i’m wasting time on Netflix/TH-cam so when i finally do the work at the last minute, I already know how to do it and I don’t care if i miss meals just to finish the task (since i have no other choice anymore because the deadline is in a bit 😭). I can even relate to the anxiety of checking my messages, receiving calls, calling prospects (i work in sales 🥲) so i even branded myself as lazy and unreliable huhuhu it’s great to know that i’m not the only one 😢 i wanna know more about this thing and how to effectively address it. Thanks so much for sharing!
i relate to it so much too and i find it kind of liberating, 'cus im 17 and i never picture this moment that im figuring stuff out, especially at this age. this is so heartwarming.
Exactly the same feeling I bursted out in tears😢😢
People laugh in the audience.. But I'm just here silent and relating to mostly everything.
YellowgirlXD noticed the same. They know nothing Jordan is talking about. I’m not laughing
em 18 the audience doesn’t realise it’s someone’s every day life. This isn’t stand up comedy. Tho the way Jordan tells it is much easier people to approach and understand the subject.
Mental health issues could be a symptom of mercury poisoning and lack of right nutrients. Anyone struggling should google Andy Cutler, read the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price website (just google these tree names and it will come up). And also check out the nutritional recommendations of Weston Price, you might need to alter it for your needs/sensitivities. And read the Cutler success stories. Please do. Wish you all the best!
Same
Same
“I never get to relax. I never stop.” this just hit me hard. I’ve been constantly stressed nonstop for years now and it’s destroying me
Hi, try getting help from a psychatrist maybe hehe but you really should give people chance to help you with your anxiety disorder.
Same
How do we make this happen?
Look at your gut health - gut /brain connection is profound. There is a book called Grain Brain. It might help.
shrooms..... you need to learn about them first, because they are strong, and after a month or two of not doing them, the anxiety seems to come back worse for a short time, but then you realize that you just forgot it was always that bad. The relief is amazing, I had anxiety so long, I thought it was normal, till all of a sudden, it was gone. It's a big deal, not candy, so be ready if you do them. But they are very safe, just heavy.
You just described my 40 year old son. Never fit in, social anxiety finds it difficult to engage etc. However, two years ago he started doing a youtube show about dye cast cars like hot wheels. He never shows his face but when you hear him he sounds so confident. For the first time he has a place where he has no anxiety. His show is called Mystery Box Monday. Take care and keep doing what you're doing.
Kate Carlin Subbed 👊👊
Did he change the name?
Try looking for Fex Deth. Don't know why but sometimes his shows come up with that name.
"I get terrified when I have a chatty taxi driver or hair stylist." I have never felt anything so deeply. The drive to connect with other people and the absolute paralyzing fear of connecting with strangers is a tough life to balance.
"You give me a list of 7 things and I'll worry about 7 things, then procrastinate and not get anything done" "There's nothing wrong with me, there's just something wrong with me" This is meeeee!
Exact thing happens to me all the time
Avoidant personality disorder
She said 7 things and I heard 50. These tasks all have smaller tasks involved and we all know it 😭
When chatty people are around me I get anxiety because I feel like like I have to talk to them
Don't think about want you want to say and simply listen very carefully to them. The talking will come naturally.
@@Neuroneos I wish it would be so easy. It's not that simple
Yes, it's like you feel like they expect you to talk, like they're waiting for you to open your mouth and then you get more anxious because you just focus on thinking "what should i say? should i say it now? or should i wait a bit? i should hurry up, they're waiting for me! but i don't know what to say, what should i say?" and that chain of thought NEVER ends and when you finally have something to say, they have already moved on to the next topic and then you go through the same chain of thought. terrifying in every single situation.
I actually love chatty ppl bc u don't have to talk so much yourself to keep the conversation going
yup
I was about to cry because I understand this so much. I wish people were more educated on anxiety. The thing that hurts the most is being labeled lazy when all you wanna do is get something done but small tasks are like a battle field. Thank you for sharing Jordan.
I can so relate to her work ethics-procrastination up to the last minute and focusing on one thing. There were days when I even lose sleep because of unaccomplished tasks-i just think of them even if i’m wasting time on Netflix/TH-cam so when i finally do the work at the last minute, I already know how to do it and I don’t care if i miss meals just to finish the task (since i have no other choice anymore because the deadline is in a bit 😭). I can even relate to the anxiety of checking my messages, receiving calls, calling prospects (i work in sales 🥲) so i even branded myself as lazy and unreliable huhuhu it’s great to know that i’m not the only one 😢 i wanna know more about this thing and how to effectively address it. Thanks so much for sharing!
I have high functioning anxiety and I have for many, many years. The one thing for me that sucked the most wasn’t the fact that I’ll struggle with these feelings until the day that I die, or that no matter how many meds I try or therapist I go to these feelings and thoughts will still be here. It’s was telling people about my struggles and having them not believe me because I was “so outgoing”
I had a amazing grades, lots of friends, I was great at my jobs, people thought I was friendly and fun to be around. But no one believed me when I’d say the second I get home I sit in my room in the dark, my mind racing with panic, heart pounding for hours, hands shaking violently, throat tightening quickly.
People never realize how harmful their words can be. And anxiety looks different for everyone. Just because some are good with the public doesn’t mean they don’t struggle the same as the ones who aren’t.
@Custom BatchServices you cant reverse Autism WHAT😭💀
I don't know how to overcome my anxiety. It is just life that i am scared of. Beeing alone and getting old.
Thank you for sharing your story. I needed this today.
A lot of times, we are the ones who “trigger” our anxiety. I know I make myself cry every day all the time JUST BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT SOMETHING TOO MUCH and I work myself up. If I have to live through an uncomfortable situation, I cry about it later when it’s over, and I think about it for a ridiculous amount of time. I’m constantly wishing I never opened my mouth to say something. I understand what’s being said in this video, and I’m happy that other people have good advice and good ways to put what we’re feeling.
maddie oddly enough, I actually try hard to make myself cry during moments of intense anxiety or panic attacks, it calms me down so much somehow
Mental health issues could be a symptom of mercury poisoning and lack of right nutrients. Anyone struggling should google Andy Cutler, read the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price website (just google these tree names and it will come up). And also check out the nutritional recommendations of Weston Price, you might need to alter it for your needs/sensitivities. And read the Cutler success stories. Please do. Wish you all the best!
Ah you too?
Wow this is me to a T.
I AGREE! I do that so often when it comes to friendships or relationships and then it gets to the point where I start blaming myself.
people: you're lazy
me: no i'm too anxious to do that specific task right now
Sounds like a excuse
Mynameisgone Lmao
@@mynameisgone7274 then im sorry but you need to educate yourself more
Me to my modules
i have panic attacks weekly and i throw up in my bathroom, i still do my chores, i still get good grades, stop using it as an excuse to not do simple tasks
Hearing someone else say they are good in emergency situations but not anything else made me feel better because that's how I am I uave generalized anxiety..this was a great TT
Same case here. I become who I was before the trauma got to me when in an emergency...sort of.
“I don’t get stage fright, I get life fright.” Finally, someone said it.
“I don’t get stage fright, I get life fright” 😭😭😭😭😭😭
This line really struck me
10:41
"There's something really freeing about finding out that you have a mental health issue"
"Oh there's nothing wrong with me, there's just something wrong with me"
This is so true on so many levels. I'm so happy to see that others think like this too (cause i'm not alone)
Conner Luice yessss
Exactly! When i found out it was so freeing to put a name to feelings and issues ive been dealing with my entire life
The key is that being able to identify and name what is wrong helps by virtue of limiting its scope. When you don't know what's wrong, it could be that everything about you is wrong.
Laughed myself into a cry over this one! lol love it.
Same!
I was not ready for me to relate to this so- much. I genuinely feel so validated; how did I just now finding this, 4 years later.
I cried when I first saw this video and then I watched it like seven more times. I’m now coming back after watching it about eight months ago. This video taught me what kind of anxiety I have.
Truly same.
Currently struggling a lot with my anxiety disorder so I’m watching videos and reading comments and it’s definitely making me feel less isolated in my struggles. Solidarity
I have never connected with a speech like I have with this one. I can relate to EVERYTHING that has been said. I really am a shyLOUD.
Valentyn Lyevyentsov same!!
Valentyn Lyevyentsov me too! Nice to realise there are others who suffer in the same way
I'm pretty quiet, but I become that when I'm most uncomfortable. It's kind of funny.
same 100% haven't really connected the idea until now lmao
Me too!!!
Anyone else think their anxiety would benefit from therapy but every time they've tried it they've gotten extremely anxious about going to each session and having to make one-on-one conversation for an hour??? HURRAH
Cara Stone LOL! Yes!
Lol I definitely get anxious about therapy. I generally avoid it and often postpone/reschedule.
I spent the whole time not there rehearsing conversations that I'll probably never have with my therapist and the worst part is she's surprised to hear that I do that @_@
Possibly try group therapy with people you know
I overthink every single session beforehand. But I'm always coming back because if I don't do it, my anxiety wins, as it did for 7 years.
I can't believe this specific TEDx showed up in my recommendations. This describes the way my anxiety works to a T. I really needed to hear this right now. "When I can focus on ONE THING, I thrive." Exactly this.
This speech changed my life. I cannot believe how beautifully structured this honesty is. Finding strength in anxiety, such a treasured video for me now. I’m not alone!!! ❤️
Simply brilliant. She described exactly what I have struggled with my entire life. I can be very outgoing animated joking and at the same time quietly have a panic attack and want to leave the conversation at the same time
norwegian68 :)
yes. just...yes.
Nearly every detail is spot on. It feels nice to know that someone is going through the same thing.
When I get really anxious in social situations I start talking more and joking. Everyone around me starts laughing and having a good time but inside I secretly want to melt into the floor but I can’t shut up now because they’re all looking at me and so I keep talking and making everyone laugh. Later when I get home I go over everything I said over and over with a fine tooth comb picking it all apart . It usually takes a day of no people to recover from all the stimulation . Everyone thinks I’m hilarious and a lot of fun to be around and I secretly want to move to a deserted island .
norwegian68 me too
"Oh, there's nothing wrong with me! There's just something wrong with me."
That pretty much sums it up 😂👏👏👏
thisisnotally
Its funny how true this statement is 😄
Totally
it's too relatable to be given a phone number to call, and then never getting help
For me, anxiety and self confidence have always tied together. This TED Talk I related to so much and seeing all these comments bring so much peace and comfort. Anxiety runs on my mom's side of the family so I have some as well. I overthink EVERYTHING. I experience anxiety attacks when I hold too many emotions in. I've struggled with self confidence for as long as I can remember. I'm so self reflective that I believe all the negatives I see in myself are what people see. I close myself off because I have no love for myself and I don't want anybody to see what I see, when in reality, the people around us see us differently than we see ourselves. Deep down, I know I'm this outgoing person and talking to other people doesn't make me anxious. It wakes me up. I know I have so much to say and I'm not afraid to. Here's to a muhfuckin journey. And too all my people here, just remember the way you see yourself is not how others view you. All of you are so beautiful inside and out.
Huhuhu relate. I always create scenarios and dialogues in my head as a product of my negative self perception, but it has been proven time and again that’s it’s not always the case 🥺
Why don't they ever show these videos at schools? School is a very difficult time for people as they differentiate from others, feeling like an outcast because of them being shy or seemingly quiet, when in fact they're perfectly normal and they should realise that this is not a negative attribute, it's just the way they are.
Bessie YES THANK YOU
Certain teachers do
At least at my schools
Mental health issues could be a symptom of mercury poisoning and lack of right nutrients. Anyone struggling should google Andy Cutler, read the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price website (just google these tree names and it will come up). And also check out the nutritional recommendations of Weston Price, you might need to alter it for your needs/sensitivities. And read the Cutler success stories. Please do. Wish you all the best!
I enjoyed the talk, but I don't need this in school, why force me to sit around getting theraphy for phobia? I would hate to be in a world that makes her comfortable.I appreciate a chatty driver, tell me something that might help me.
Sometimes if I’m really anxious about something I’ll procrastinate until the very last second which causes me more anxiety because it would make a lot more sense to have dealt with the issue but the issue gives me so much anxiety that I can’t deal with it and then it’s just this whole circle over and over again
Jordan Johns - our lives are the same. I wish all of these commentators would get together for a Ted talk. Think of the crazy energy of being amongst our clan. 😂
I related to this so much! This comment feels like an explanation of doing literally almost anything in my life. XD
My life 365 days a year.
Yes, and don't forget the anxiety related to explaining why you waited to the last second.
Start keeping a journal. When you have a worry write it down, and forget about it. Put it off. Keep taking your mind back to the issue at hand.
Then, at the end of the day - in a safe area where you feel comfortable. Look at your worries. Cross out ones which aren't important anymore. And ones you can't fix, or do anything about.
But if it is a legitimate worry - like I need to pay this bill - write a plan of action. When will you pay the bill? Friday. How much is it? $450. How much money can I spend this week? etc etc.
"There's something very freeing about finding out you have a mental health issue. Oh, there's nothing wrong with me, there's just something wrong with me"
I really like that. It's an excellent way to describe having mental health issues.
Yep! This is literally how I feel 😅 but it is a relief
this is the first time ive ever really felt seen in my anxiety. I've never been able to articulate it and my anxiety doesn't make sense to a lot of people in my life because of that. i see my anxiety as the worst part about me and that its presence as a driving force in my life makes me weak and lazy and just generally a disappointment to everyone around me. this helped to ease that even for just a little while.
I have very similar sentiments, it's comforting reading all the comments here of people talking about their struggles. It lets me know I'm not the only one with them.
Thank you for sharing.
"When I can focus on one thing, I thrive". This.
emphasis on the CAN right, when you can it is epic, it's just a matter of being in the state in the first place, aieee!
*People think I’m aloof, but the truth is, i care so much, im stunned into silence.*
I had been unable to put this feeling into words for as long as I remember and now, she said it. God I’m so happy i watched this😩
Empath here and your words resonate big time.x
I watched a lot of videos about anxiety and always felt like a mix of things, but this is me. this video is me, she is me and a lot of other people are now I know that they're coping with the same thing, and I cried of relief and fright of this thing that is going on in my head and hundreds of thousands other people. Thank you Jordan!
This is me too, I cried too, but I wanna live peacefully like others do, I hate it, why am I not like others. Others seem to glide through life just fine. All these talks tell about the problem, but what's the solution??!! Give us the solution!!
That’s it!! That’s the summation of it. I’ve had to do laundry, clean my bathroom, clean my room, help my mom (who calls me everyday. Sometimes several time a day) with a laundry list of things for the past three weeks. And I can’t get myself to do a single thing. While I’m avoiding, my anxiety is building. Even though I do nothing, I can’t relax. Like the she said, I never get to relax. My anxiety is made worst because I don’t have a support system. I am a support system. It’s currently three AM and I’m in the grips of anxiety. I can’t go to sleep even though I’m tired. I hate living like this.
Such a great talk. I’ve had high functioning anxiety my whole life and have really struggled with the shame that comes with it. I often find myself making excuses for my bizarre behaviour like not answering the phone (it’s broken) or taking ages to respond to emails (so, so busy ) or freaking out about having a coffee with an old friend (oh I’m actually busy that day ). People naturally think I’m outgoing and extroverted because of my job but when the camera’s are off, i’m so shy it hurts and it can be a hard thing to explain so I just lie my way around it. I worry about everything and can’t physically relax. The only time i feel a sense of freedom is when I’m singing/ performing - the rest is all difficult. Life with anxiety is a life spent swimming against the current.
I have this video saved to watch later but decided to scroll through the comments. I read yours and this hit me so hard that I have tears in my eyes: "Life with anxiety is a life spent swimming against the current"
Karliene Hope u doing well now 😇
Hello,
You excellent explained all !! I can find myself in all your words. I have anxiery - depression desorder 30 yrs ago !! Regards from Croatia, Europe.
I dont think you can put it any better than that, beautiful words
Thank God you do the singing & performing! Is it only your type that can handle the stress? Well then, you are the star!
I'm kinda weird. I don't have social anxiety but I'm constantly this low level anxious 24/7. It might seem not bad but I never feel relief. It's called generalized anxiety. Nothing fears me in particular, I'm just always tense. It's exhausting.
Nose Trade interesting! I can relate to the way you described it, but never heard of it before. Thanks for sharing, I will look into more details about it :)
Oh no your not weird or we are weird together hahaha. Because damn I can relate with you. I also have generalized anxiety and I'm so exhausted. Sorry if my english is bad not my first language you know.
Same.
Me too. So much me too.
It's not weird trust me I suffer from it every single day of my life.. people wonder why I don't hang out socially or do anything it's because when I get off of work I'm so mentally exhausted from dealing with life I can't talk to other people
I find it astonishing that I am a psych student and never thought that the reason I detrimentally procrastinate could because I have anxiety... This video made me cry, I felt like someone was describing my emotions.
Beware of being a psychiatrist student with anxiety! The combo often makes me a mental health hyperchondriac 😅
I've never felt so understood before. So many people tell me that I don't have anxiety or don't look like I have anxiety because I don't "appear" anxious to the point that I've been doubting if I struggled with anxiety at all. This makes so much sense and brought me lots of comfort.
its .. strange.. reading all these comments that are like "omg thats me!" ..... guess what? thats me too! but just look.. at all the comments.. when we feel and/or think that nobody knows what its like.. look back, you are not a lone sisters and brothers.
stay strong, rave on
That's lovely.
i'm close to tears. thank you
Damn... there are good people in this world. Thank you friend
Thank you
I’m always waiting for the day God will take it away
It hurts,doesn’t feel good
I just want to be me again
☺️
thanks Valerie.youre so right.
adhd 🤝 anxiety
being seen as lazy while its really just anxiety/executive dysfunction
I felt that... 💔
me too =(
yup, can relate. its just a double whammy
Me too.
Yes 😔
It feels so good to hear that someone else who lives with high functioning anxiety, somebody just like me, also takes charge in emergencies. I've been unlucky enough to be in more than one crisis and I've always surprised myself and others with how swiftly I took charge and got the wheels turning for help.
silence is the most terrifying when around people, you ask yourself a million questions, "should i be talking right now", "why isn't anyone speaking?", "this is awkward, why aren't they talking?", etc.
Here I am literally in tears, scared of being alive. I see how I can do lots of things pretty effectively, but how every single one of them requires so much energy, how I'm scared of deadlines & failure, how I need a break often but every time I do get one I never get to relax. I wonder if things will ever change, and if people will ever understand.
This made me cry too.
There are people in these comments that feel like that too. You are not alone.
I totally feel the same way! It’s extremely difficult to explain to other people even my friends, of which I have a few... and I’m always worried that they think I’m not doing enough.. I try to relax myself and I also just wish other people could understand what anxiety everyday feels like... I hope for a future where we can all understand each other more on these intricate levels and even know how to offer support through it! Even reading your comment made me feel seen today so thanks for opening up!!🙏🏻🙏🏻
Face your fear dnt be afraid of it ..step by step push yourself
this is exactly how I feel ur not alone
High functioning anxiety, nervous types, highly sensitive people, sensitive types, shy- louds, socially awkward, aloof, arrogant, lazy, unreliable, crazy, weird, creative, witty, smart, performer: just a few words used to describe a type of person we don't quite understand. Thank you for bringing our personality to light.👍
LionessProwess I have all of these.. ALL my friends say I am a awkward person, sensitive, weird, and ily to sing, and I always have this need to explain myself. For example if someone askes me why I got like sushi or something I go into this thing where I talk rlly rlly fast and try to explain. And I procrastinate A LOT and I am fast talker mostly bc I want to get everything out as quickly as possible and then like hope they didn’t hear me to judge me and. Like I was taking out the trashcans and I thought “what if I get hit by a car?!!” And a car was coming and when I realized that it won’t hit me bc it was far away my brain thought THAT “WHAT IF IT HAS A GUN AND ITS GONNA SHOOT ME” so before it could passed I ran so fast to my house and slammed the door and actually felt relieved and now looking at it I really do have bad anxiety
I’m freaked out that I found all of this so relatable…
The weird thing is, people think I’m a social butterfly because I’ll spark up a conversation in a line at the grocery store with a complete stranger. But the thing is, I’m really not a social butterfly… Doing that allows me to be social on MY terms. I can be social as much as I want as long as I want and when I’M done being social, it’s done. Best of all, they can judge me all they want, I don’t care. What are the odds I’ll ever see them again, right? So I feel free to be myself because I don’t need to worry about what type of impression I’m making.
I have had crippling social anxiety and hyper awareness and (aka feeling like you are in a movie rather then real life) since I could remember and didn’t know what was wrong with me...not until way after highschool did I forgive myself and research about my mental health that I have gotten better. You are not alone!
Woah i can relate with hyper awareness 😮
The way you say you forgave yourself is so beautiful and so important
I'm not only ShyLOUD but I get sHYPER. I get so nervous around people that my energy skyrockets and I seem very hyper. I need a while to recover after being around people so my brain and body can take a breather.
Luckydog Sanctuary I can relate🌻
EXACTLY! Wow literally I feel exhausted after occurrences like that... it just overall is overwhelming and it’s almost painful during those moments..
I can understand you :)
I hope you all come back to this comment because now I have ideas on how to get over this. Go to MAPS. org for ideas =)
Yup yup yup. The sweating, the shaky hands and tendency to interrupt others because of the overwhelming surge of nervous energy. Which leaves you empty and holed up in your home for days after. Very familiar with that.
I have always told my mom that I need to be alone sometimes to recharge after being around people. She doesn't get it.
She is me except that I am horrible at public speaking too. haha
She?
By the way, he is fantastic !
@@vladzignus2069 she is yes
@@vladzignus2069 nope she is fantastic
Oh I thought the speaker was male, I'm confused.
I can relate so much.
Also, turns out the procrastination and hyper focus is adhd in my case. I had been suspecting it for the past 10 years but anxiety and expert level procrastination made me wait 10 years to get a diagnosis and medication. So now at 46 years old, I'm still working on it, but finally with my eyes open.
Having hobbies helps. I recently took up woodworking again simply because I found painting or varnishing timber relaxing. So I self taught myself basic carpentry, it gives me something to focus on. It is therapeutic to the mind.
I can make decisions very quickly in a crisis too, but am very indecisive in day to day things. If I have too much time to think, then the anxiety creeps in.
hobbies are key. so is exercising and being out in nature. currently i am not doing either smh. winter is here so i have to get creative physcially. painting helps me but i'm also a perfectionist and find it really hard to finish a piece. i love to start them though lol.
I've never met anyone who shared this experience of anxiety. Whenever I've tried to explain "life fright" to people, they just don't get it. ("Aren't you anxious? I thought you had anxiety? If you're fine onstage then you can't actually have anxiety..") It makes me feel completely alone. Thank you so much for sharing.
My mother has known me my whole life.... I still can't explain it to her. I understand.
my family doesn't understand because i'm a dancer and when i was younger i did drama performances and plays but i can't give a 3 monute speech at school, etc.
fighting blind - this is her only escape from the constant anxiety is this very brief moment of telling the world about it. Instead of concentrating on what could go wrong during her speech she is probably thinking about how excited she is to share her thoughts and experiences with thousands of people helping them better understand her and helping to explain she’s not rude and aloof and lazy as well as hoping to find other people who share the same issue. I think that’s why she is able to speak publicly about it although she suffers extreme anxiety. Plus knowing your on stage alone being highlighted in front of 4,000 people... well that is truly how we feel every day when we’re in the grocery store with one other person, isn’t it? Well if she now knows people are definitely going to be judging her as she put herself on stage it’s no longer just an assumption of hers, a worry of hers, it’s reality. It really is happening and she really is being judged by everyone watching so she’s putting her best self out there since her worst fear is coming true, it’s no longe the threat if your actually living he moment in it. Make any sense? I hope so. Just trying to help.
fighting blind I absolutely understand how you feel because I’m a dancer, a musician, I grew up on the stage and in studios so it’s like my room- I’m comfortable and I don’t think about what I did wrong at the time I need to most of the time
fighting blind my daughter just messaged me that she thinks she has this. She also told me she loves acting because she can take the focus off her, her anxiety kicks in after!
I had a class presentation in a subject matter that I was not very good at with a very extroverted professor. I remember staying up for weeks doing my very best and submitting my drafts to her to get her opinions. She thought that my work was strong and that my research was very well done. I was the last one to present my work(as usual), I had a hard time speaking. I was visibly shaking, my voice was speeding at 100mph, but despite that, I tried my damned hardest to do my best. In the end of the presentation, I received a failing grade. Not because of the content, but because of my delivery. This happened to me in several other classes as well. In college, no one cared about the quality of the work. They only cared about how social and active you were in class. Those who suffered from extreme anxiety failed simply for being shy in a room full of extroverts.
if this isn't me too
and I seem to get worse with the more I've to put myself out there - like presenting my ideas or the research I've been doing all that time. I haven't found a solution yet but keeping my vision blurry helps a little (I've very bad eyesight) and the less I rehearse the more spontaneous is the delivery (this mostly doesn't work but sometimes it does, also makes me feel a little less unsatisfied and less miserable afterwards). Impromptu is not my thing - anxiety doesn't approve but it lets me eat, sleep and not have diarrhea throughout the day if that makes sense. I try to go for mild impromptu (when the work is not sth high priority and doesn't need a lot of work to begin with) but it's just so hard to do.
Let me guess, USA?
And those who make it often wing it 😏
That's terrible.
@angel yeas I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope you had better experiences afterwards.
My husband has always laughed and joked about how much space I needed to do my hobbies at home. I never heard anyone talk about having many hobbies, and having to do them in 'very specific' places in the household. The 5 desk thing is literally not a joke to me. I was stunned that I was not the only one like this. Thank you for helping me realize that my anxiety is more towards the 'high functioning' levels with this talk. You're one in a million to me.
In 14 minutes I've come to tremendous realisations about my own anxiety and why I feel the way do, and why I never used to feel that way.
I used to regularly be in situations where I'd be standing in front of a room full of strangers and have to engage and interact with them. Never used to phase me at all, now I work in a different job and have really struggled with anxiety, to the point I physically can't take deep breaths alot of the time.
Just realising why I feel that way, and being able to put a name to it has already helped tremendously.
Good lord shes *_fantastic_*
Fartastic
I thought it was a man - im confused
Carol Fremel no she refers to herself in the talk as a woman
@Adam Baum biologically HE.
Ethically SHE.
Morally he doesn't even know.
@@docbainl9504 "Biologically he" sis, pronouns aren't biological.
this was so reassuring.... I function so well I struggle to accept that I have a problem with anxiety. I am not just like her, but I am so similar. I love love love socializing, I love being in new places and meeting new people.... but I fret and fret after any sort of socialization that I have been misinterpreted, that I am hated, and that I spoke too much or too enthusiastically. It is reassuring to be reminded that high functioning anxiety is real, and deserves treatment as well.
I relate so much with your comment. I internalize all my interactions with people too, especially those in higher positions and people I have to live and work with. And I'm constantly apologizing for being too verbose. Glad to know others think and feel simarly. Just know you do have value and the people who care about you don't judge you for all the things you judge yourself for.
I so so so relate to you.
Omg you are describing exactly what I have too. You are sooo reassuring too.
Same here
Have u found good treatment?
I think it makes sense. In life, you’re waiting for someone’s response to something you say or do, but on stage, everyone has to be quite and just listen to you 😌
I’m a Broadway actor. I’m the same. I’m my most confident and comfortable on stage - the bigger the crowd, the more comfortable and comforting.
As i was laying down, staring at the screen, listening to her speak, i zoned out. I began thinking if i should have sent this message to someone on Instagram over 4 hours ago. my eyes never left the screen, yet my brain was completely occupied with worry about that message. “should i have sent that?” “what if they don’t message back because they think i’m weird?” “what if i should’ve worded it differently?”
I am genuinely surprised every time i remember that not everyone has high-functioning anxiety. I’m so used to feeling this way, and i really wish i wasn’t.
Boy do I relate. 😏
I can relate to this so much.
same
Doing this right now, with someone I like. Its truly exhausting:( my mind never stops. Goes 100 mph. "Oh I shouldn't have texted that, she might think I'm weird now" or if they don't answer relatively fast I freak out thinking they never will answer again. Bleh. Is this high functioning anxiety?!
Me!
This truly broke my heart. The world is loud, and sharp, and I seldom (if ever) come in contact with individuals who can understand the disorder that has devastated my life, and yet made me who I am.
You are never alone! We all have anxiety and no one can judge us.
I havent cried like this in a long time just knowing that its not just me!!
This comment is far too beautiful. Me too.
"and yet, made me who I am" ❤️❤️
This comment is perfect
Thank you! I only recently discovered the term “high functioning anxiety”. I used to have generalized anxiety and improved in some areas but these core things never improved the same way. It’s not important to label things per se but being able to name it is powerful because, as you say, then you realize you can work on making “that thing” better. I loved hearing this; I’m incredibly confident at work but freak out if I’m at a party and left alone to make small talk with a stranger. As soon as I arrive I am thinking, “how do I get out of here?”. My parasympathetic nervous system is in over drive and is literally trying to help me avoid this perceived danger. ❤❤
I myself have Anxiety Disorders. I am impressed by her ability to withstand the audience laughing when she was saying things like the "chatty taxi driver". She was not joking around.
What if he actually doesn't have an anxiety disorder?
@@SirBlackReeds she does
@@SirBlackReedsshe does :)
It’s called relief . This your first speech or talk ever lol ? She def has anxiety
this is the first time I have had someone with the same type of anxiety symptoms as me. Everyone I meet believes I come off as a rude individual because of my anxiety keeping me from speaking more than a few words in a conversation. Even as you said, responding to emails and texts and phone calls are my worst nightmare and Im constantly made fun of for it.
Becka Scott or the anxiety causes me to, unintentionally, say the wrong thing!
Becka Scott i relate so much
So true and right on point
I also even have it with whatapps messages
Oh my goodness, I could have sworn she read my journals and was describing my life. This is how I feel, and it's such a confusing way to navigate social situations. I can completely pass as a normal and witty social butterfly when I know my audience and know my place, but in an unfamiliar situation with new people, without a rehearsed script. I am dying inside and trying to escape.
He*
Serpent Noose *SHE. In the description for the video it uses she/her pronouns for Jordan.
She definitely described my anxiety. Great presentation!
That's a dude.
She definitely described exactly what people with anxiety and general nervousness suffer from. In this day and age, we have to care way too much to have society or people within our social circle think of us.
She explained it so well … it’s crazy how my thoughts about EVERYTHING never end my thoughts think about my thoughts that then think about those thoughts and on n on n on
I'm istening to this, heart racing, making noises, "YEP.MMMHMM."
"Oh, yes, yep."
Cannot WAIT to show my partner her talk. He's going to be shocked. He thinks these symptoms are entirely unique to myself. I'm basking in the feeling of not being alone.
Dude has never noticed someone with an anxiety disorder before?! Does he live under a rock? :P
My girlfriend just thought I was mysterious and aloof, came as a bit of a shock to her to find out I was just terrified of everyone everywhere and how they operate.
Saaaaame. My anxiety drives my husband nuts. I can't help it! I really wish I could
I have social anxiety. I get panic attacks bc of it. They tend to build up over time and then explode with violent sobbing and hyperventilation that can last a few minutes to hours. It makes it hard to work, be around large groups or strangers, and make any friends. Its caused me to develop clinical depression too.
I feel your pain, same here.
Me too! Ive recently started going to therapy and its helping. I still get mild attacks but have been getting better. Its a pain in the neck to deal with though.
Meditate and breath 🙏🏻
I also have social anxiety. It's like there all these things I want to say but my brain freezes and my tongue won't work.
Same...i think everyone is speaking negatively about me.
When my close friends brought me to meet their other friends without me knowing, they thought that every thing was going well because I was smiling and talking to strangers like normal. But that's me being too anxious to let my friends know that I'm uncomfortable because I didn't want to ruin everyone's day. I then went and cried to myself in the restroom when I got home.
I feel seen. 'Aloof' is something I am sure people consider I am, because of everything Jordan is talking about. So lucky that this was shared. Thank you.
I developed an anxiety disorder after getting my first panic attack. Anxiety disorders are no joke... I’ve been learning how to live with multiple mental disorders, one developing after another. It’s horrible.
samiian this is so interesting to read this happened to you too!! I had some hard life situations that also resulted in a tendency toward anxiety, but it was certainly after my first panic attack that my anxiety really came to the surface
@@AmandaJ__ Me too!! wow thank you guys for sharing, I thought that was just me. My whole life I was always a bit of an over thinker, but I was never one to have anxiety. I had my first panic attack in my life last semester in the middle of my calculus class and since then my anxiety has skyrocketed.
It's true, I know all this very well !!
samiian I had my first panic attack when I was 21 years old and I'm doing just fine right now. I learned how to live with my anxiety disorder. I just make sure it will never stop me from doing the things I enjoy like travelling and language learning. It will definitely gets better!
Hi,
When I read that you now have learnt to cope with it successfully, I knew I had to reach out... I am suffering from anxiety and panic disorder since 2014.. and now am still on medications... Except that most of the times a day, my anxiety escalates and it stops me from feeling normal... Even SOS meds can only do so much... How long did it take for you to being able to cope with it and do I have to be on meds to cope? I am now trying hard to reach out to others who suffer the same and the answers could really help me understand better..
.
the reason I haven't made an appointment for a haircut in over 2 years... afraid of being trapped in a chair and forced to chat.
Angie why not bring headphones? After you tell her/him what you want your hair to look like then ask if they mind you listening to your music with headphones🎧💇
Angie omg same
that's why I cut my bangs myself and only let a friend cut my hair haha
Being a guy makes life easier. I can get away with just grunting and pretending I’m asleep.
You can always say you have tonsillitis and it hurts to talk :-)
I was diagnosed with anxiety and was on medication. I knew stress and insomnia are its symptoms. But i never understood why I am guilty of being lazy and procrastinate and struggle with due dates and reluctant to open emails and recieve calls.
Sitting here immediately crying my eyes out listening/relating to my life experiences pour out of this woman’s mouth as her audience laughs. This whole video feels like my life. Anytime I’m bold enough to share I have anxiety with someone who doesn’t, it’s always “*chuckle* you’ll be alright. Try harder. It’s not that serious. Calm down. It’s just an excuse. Etc.”
I feel You about being terrified of picking up the phone
I actually paid $100 instead of getting a refund for a free subscription that renewed, because you could only get a refund by calling. It's sooo bad
Its just not even a consideration anymore, its either a text or see me in person if its an emergency otherwise you won't hear from me.
Phones are the worst :( Calling someone is worse than answering a call though.
Same I hate my phone for any communication!!! Terrifying
First of all, I love IU. Second, same here!!! I usually pass the phone to my husband or let it ring many times before I answer. I hate calls. (Why can't they send a text instead?!) Or those who send messages but leave you hanging with what they need/want from you. Uggghh.
Its nice that her friends look out for her and can help in times when she becomes overwhelmed
*&
Johnny Carson was the classic “shy loud.” Many people simply could not believe why, in private, he was so different from the charming, funny public personality. Many performers have this paradoxical personality, which is well understood by performing artists. I am not sure whether it is really an illness or a personality attribute.
this hit different when you're procrastinating
Everyone thinks I am being rude or aloof but in reality, I am just putting a mask to hide the fact that I am nervous, fidgety and am having an internal panic attack. I could so much relate to this, I thank her for her speech!
I was diagnosed with: OCD, Social Anxiety, Separation Anxiety and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I hate leaving my house and even thinking about leaving my house. I hate speaking to people so I immediately get defensive because I don't want to talk to them. I don't want any attention yet I crave reassurance from my friends that they still like me.
Ppl never know I'm having a panic attack at times, but the ones who know me can tell. I don't rock back and forth or look a "panic attack sufferer". I stare off with a thousand mile stare, I hum to try to occupy my mind, or bite my lip, swallow alot, etc. Nobody ever knows. It is a real thing to look calm and be panicking horribly inside.
Men find it hard to talk to me cuz I seem aloof or rude. And therefore, dating is hard. Making friends can be hard. I'm seen as quiet, shy or again, aloof. But I grow open when I know them more.
Cognitive therapy is AMAZING
I honestly have never related to anything more. When she was talking about not being able to do small tasks like looking at people, talking, even just starting tiny projects resonated so much with me. Everyone sees me as rude, selfish, uncaring, and aloof when i'm really a nice person! Having anxiety is hard but I manage to live happily still, and to anybody who feels like me and Jordan, you'll be okay :) there's nothing wrong with you
My daily motto is:
"You're scared but no one needs to know"
My anxiety is always *MY* secret
I need to do more of this. I'm often open about it. Will keep it more to myself
Why wouldn't you want to tell people about it?
It can kinda feel like a great big flashing sign above your head! 😀 Then someone will comment that you're in good mood and I'm all "Excellent. The ruse is working".
I kind of had this mentally but just previous week I broke down so I had to tell everybody
is this healthy tho??
I relate SO MUCH TO the line “do a ted talk. see you at the ted talk.” AHHHHHHHH
This is so very relatable. I feel like this at work every day. People recognize the work that I accomplish, but simultaneously think I am not trying hard enough to do all of my tasks.
Mental exhaustion is so hard to explain, the amount of times I’ve told people “you wouldn’t believe how busy I’ve been” - this includes mentally busy aswell as physically busy, but mentally busy is harder to explain! 💭
Ahhhhhhh.... so true.
Thank you. People often see me as rude and arrogant, but if they knew all the self loathing that was going on in my head, they'd change that opinion :( I Just do so much better if I were alone!! Which is... sad... lol
Me too. Some people have hated and attacked me for it in the past, when in reality I was just a soft daisy on the inside. Getting stepped on.
Me three. But mine comes in cycles so people really think I'm stuck up AND some-timey.
Same....
haley k, same here. I always say "I'm at my happiest when I'm by myself."
I find that so strange...like people can't tell you're shy and frightened and that you're shaking but they believe you're stuck up...but when you try speaking up you seem terrified...which you are but you're trying to push past...first impressions are crazy
I hate phone calls with people I don't know! Ordering pizza is a nightmare.
I know right. Online ordering has been so freeing for me!
she’s so real, i get my anxious thoughts proven wrong time and time again yet they keep coming. not being able to trust your thoughts is such an awful and lonesome feeling
“Living With High Fun”: the partial title I clicked on. Well worth it.