The KEY SIGNS That Relationship Won't Last & How To ACTUALLY Find Love! | Esther Perel

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 368

  • @viniciomattos
    @viniciomattos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +441

    Be careful, watching this video is dangerous, you will fall in love with this wonderful woman

  • @LSSYLondon
    @LSSYLondon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    25:00
    People fight over these things
    1. Power and Control
    2. Trust and closeness
    3. Respect and integrity

  • @kikiqld1547
    @kikiqld1547 3 ปีที่แล้ว +321

    Imagine the quality of your relationship and your life if you are with someone who communicates so effectively with you.

    • @QUINTUSMAXIMUS
      @QUINTUSMAXIMUS 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I agree that communication is very important. I had a relationship with a girl and we had very good communication, but because our relationship partially moved into the friendship area (it was partially due to some long distance), she said it wasn't keeping the relationship. I highly value communication, being able to understand someone.

    • @RFernandez18
      @RFernandez18 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I keep a great communication and feel that keeping interest to your partner and same for him,is important. Work as a team, not against each other.

    • @HideoutLeather
      @HideoutLeather 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RFernandez18 eew weie2 i3

    • @HideoutLeather
      @HideoutLeather 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@QUINTUSMAXIMUS w

    • @HideoutLeather
      @HideoutLeather 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RFernandez18 re

  • @kokestomoshira5854
    @kokestomoshira5854 3 ปีที่แล้ว +298

    "The vast majority of the world has never raised their children to do what is right for them"... That hit hard👏

    • @mirandarodgers5401
      @mirandarodgers5401 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Definitely felt that one

    • @Jusyna24071981
      @Jusyna24071981 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      But what’s expected from them… hit harder❤️

    • @fredkaufmann8034
      @fredkaufmann8034 ปีที่แล้ว

      1:26

    • @MStar10
      @MStar10 ปีที่แล้ว

      But what's right for them? At a young age - it's what parents think is right for them (ie their experiences and expectations?)

    • @Mr.Steve-O
      @Mr.Steve-O ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Bad parenting is alive and well in the USA

  • @TB-rx1ue
    @TB-rx1ue 3 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    “Fluent in 9 languages”
    This woman... 🙌🏻
    This is the best interviewer of hers. I love that he actively listens, paraphrases, etc. He doesn’t interject, change the subject etc. Kudos!!!

  • @TheDhammaHub
    @TheDhammaHub 3 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    It is so important to talk a lot and early about problems... the longer you avoid them, the bigger they get. Every couple learns that the hard way

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      However if you have a partner who refuses to talk over problems then that can be a big problem. Another answer may be too try to create more happy times instead but I found the untackled issues just piled up on us.

  • @PH1M0
    @PH1M0 3 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    “Naming is framing.” 👏She has really great insight into relationships and individuals 💯

  • @stephenbrody2717
    @stephenbrody2717 3 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    This lady is one of the best communicators I have heard with regards to relationships

  • @muumarlin1731
    @muumarlin1731 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    She's the amazing aunt we all need. A national treasure:)

  • @huyentang8925
    @huyentang8925 3 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    Esther is incredible. Her works and podcasts are pure gold - I truly believe that everyone in a relationship or thinking about entering a relationship, should educate themselves with her work. Relationships take continuous hardwork, y'all. Amazing 👏

  • @jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862
    @jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    At the end of the day, good communication always wins

  • @ginachavez3350
    @ginachavez3350 3 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    Her wisdom and clarity is insurmountable❣️ She is truly heaven-sent! ♥️

  • @Booster85
    @Booster85 3 ปีที่แล้ว +219

    Social media and all them dating apps ruined relationships, these days your a swipe away from being replaced! Nobody likes working through problems and facing adversity, they want the quick fix and that’s the problem.

    • @TB-rx1ue
      @TB-rx1ue 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      According to one of her talks, you decide that you marry when you decide you can’t do better and want to delete the dating apps lol
      She also talks about how there’s definitely also the paradox of choice. It’s easier to choose one of two, but not one of thousands

    • @elroyjetson6380
      @elroyjetson6380 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      If you're a swipe away from being replaced then you are doing something very wrong.

    • @mrmarkcima
      @mrmarkcima 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Seriously. I plan to delete all my social media and just leave on fb messenger.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Online is The Paradox Of Choice- Ted Talk

  • @edminaliutke1110
    @edminaliutke1110 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    Only 10 minutes in and I am so fascinated. I think this is the best of her interview's I've ever listened to. And that is a big compliment to Tom as an interviewer.

    • @1maybeline
      @1maybeline 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes! I was proud of him for not cursing ones during this interview!

    • @edminaliutke1110
      @edminaliutke1110 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@1maybeline lol his cursing is fine. I don’t know why people are so against curse words. It a language of passion.

  • @reallifepsych3309
    @reallifepsych3309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    Thank you so much for this video. So many of our past traumas still linger in our new relationships unintentionally. Improvement begins with awareness.

    • @QUINTUSMAXIMUS
      @QUINTUSMAXIMUS 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yes, we also are wrongly encouraged to look away from our pain, wounds when looking at them helps us heal.

  • @vp5134
    @vp5134 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Did I hear well??? Fluent in 9 languages?? I was already amazed by Esther Perel, now I am even more amazed by her?

  • @maxmd9218
    @maxmd9218 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    1) Power & control
    2) Trust & closeness
    3) Respect & Recognition- Am I seen? Do not distort my intention.

  • @h0llyisawes0me
    @h0llyisawes0me 3 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    Absolutely love Ester's concept to place two objects in your daily view.. One representing what you must leave behind and another representing what you mean to foster, and asking what you have done today about each.

  • @katelynmccorkle9902
    @katelynmccorkle9902 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Power, Trust, Respect, Integrity, Recognition, Understanding, Nurturing, Reaching out.....VS....Shaming, Criticism, Stonewalling, Contempt.

    • @Melly16yr10
      @Melly16yr10 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'll also add the 7 deadly sins. Ego, Arrogance, Ignorance, Sloth, Lust and Envy

    • @katelynmccorkle9902
      @katelynmccorkle9902 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Melly16yr10 I've been thinking about those lately and I think about how good it feels to have pride and lust for others and my life itself so I can't agree 🤷‍♀️

  • @belengutierrez1961
    @belengutierrez1961 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Esther is ABSOLUTELY brilliant, it's MESMERIZING to me how she's able to break down SUCH complex concepts in a digestible way.. she's the hero relationships need

  • @christinekriel3773
    @christinekriel3773 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Esther Perel’s work is exceptional....I’ve watched and listened to every piece available....this interview was one of the most incredible...you both so articulately isolated different individuals experiences......please see me, please hear me, please respect me....thank you to both of you.

  • @davidgoodman6928
    @davidgoodman6928 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Tom did a superb job at this interview. Best Esther P interview on the internet to date.

  • @nataliesmith4778
    @nataliesmith4778 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I love that > we stop looking at ourselves and only focus on the other person, and the problems we see in thm.
    As a single person I see this alot when talking with my coupled friends

    • @sandteena42
      @sandteena42 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello film Ft. Worth, Texas

  • @IevaKambarovaite
    @IevaKambarovaite 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Tom's questions are absolutely briliant. I'm in awe.
    I've read Esther Perel's books and listened to her speak so many times, but this conversation was very different. Thank you so much 🙏🏻

    • @palladium607
      @palladium607 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      In my opinion, Tom is one of THE all time best interviewers. 👌🏼

    • @ChantalFourie
      @ChantalFourie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is what makes Tom THE best interviewer! He has the unique ability to dive deep into someone's work and then to interview him/her in such a way that he gets all the golden nuggets in a very short time. I've listened to so many of Esther's interviews, podcasts, TED Talks, but this one is the best. I love her work and it certainly had a great impact on my own relationships. Thank you to you both!

    • @IevaKambarovaite
      @IevaKambarovaite 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ChantalFourie I couldn't agree more. He's one the best prepared hosts ever!
      If you get a chance listen to Tom Bilyeu on Mikhaila Peterson's podcast. Loved seeing Tom on a different side of the conversation.

  • @tanuhuff
    @tanuhuff 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Change your thoughts - Change your life

  • @tracesprite6078
    @tracesprite6078 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    The beginning of a relationship with all the attention and curiosity is exciting but I also think people need to withdraw from one another at times. You may need to mooch about, to sulk for a while over hurts which feel too petty to bring to the light of day etc. The important thing is to not extend these withdrawal times for too long as they can be hurtful to your partner.

  • @min-achozeno3237
    @min-achozeno3237 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Im listening to this and feel she’s onto something really important at 13:00. A lot of us use the same words but the cultural context of the words are different. Words like sex, marriage, family, happiness, etc. Marriage meant something entirely different to my grandparents than it did for my parents who came together out of love more than parental expectations. Success and happiness for them is still very much tied to how well my sister and I do in life.

  • @selfbeliefchief
    @selfbeliefchief 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Most of us stare at the things that are uncertain and can't be controlled and hope it changes. Certainty can be a feeling, so create certainty in the other areas of life and it will give you a stronger foundation to handle some uncertainty 🙌

  • @bh5079
    @bh5079 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I wish this was longer. She is truly amazing at what she does🙂

  • @gabrielamartinyuk9894
    @gabrielamartinyuk9894 3 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    Marriage : Serving your spouse, thinking of their best interest. Imagine if BOTH spouses practiced exactly this? Both would be seen and loved and respected.

    • @always12lovemusic
      @always12lovemusic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Two people can go into a relationship/marriage with this intention and think that they are doing it, but both could feel unseen or not respected. It's important that they are on the same page.
      I could marry you and I love oranges, so every day I give you an orange thinking "she's going to feel so loved by my actions". You could love apples and give me apples every day and think "she's going to feel so loved by my actions". But in reality, you could hate oranges and I could hate apples and every gesture of good-will is actually offensive to the other. That's why it's important for you and I to sit down and communicate with each other and explain our wants and needs as well.
      But you're right, I think people get complacent and an imbalance can grow in the relationship.

  • @cloudhi
    @cloudhi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It's not just romantic relationships that this all applies to, but everything discussed in this vid is important to foster a good relationship with anyone in this world.

  • @bitarezaee6152
    @bitarezaee6152 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    And by the way, your introduction was not the same as the other guests! She is a genius and she deserves to be introduced better

  • @kingzach5000
    @kingzach5000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She is so good with speaking and her words. It is her nine languages for sure that gives her that understanding. Truly remarkable

  • @sxd29
    @sxd29 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    LOVE Esther!!!!!!!!! I can hear Esther Perel and Brene Brown ALL Day!!!!!! They make such simple points but oh so right points!!!!!!!!

  • @bitarezaee6152
    @bitarezaee6152 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I am so excited for this interview but I expected a longer talk. She is pure gold...

  • @da4728
    @da4728 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is the 1st time I've fell in love over someone's pure intellect & intelligence - she's soooo attractive 😍

  • @HowellConsultations
    @HowellConsultations 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    In case no one has told you today, Keep pushing through the heartache, lack of motivation & self doubt. When you feel lost, that’s the perfect opportunity to find a reroute. There’s so much you’re meant to do in this lifetime, don’t give up on it. Hope our channel helps you on your journey ✌

    • @tracesprite6078
      @tracesprite6078 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You have touched on an important issue. Many of us feel somewhat discouraged by life and may not have the confidence and energy that Esther has. Some people need to withdraw from one another at times.

  • @KhushSoul
    @KhushSoul 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    You have to bring her back for part 2!! Pleaseeeee

  • @sophieblooming8555
    @sophieblooming8555 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    “Naming is framing” is what a role language serves in our thinking and communicating process. Her multilingual capacity definitely helps her to switch the frameworks among languages and cultures to reduce the self serving biases we all have.

    • @simonehinds8288
      @simonehinds8288 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂🎉😢😂😢😢

  • @aossi4565
    @aossi4565 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Literally made me drop what I was doing to take notes. I was saving this one for the weekend and I’m beyond excited! What the two of you bring in these conversations is amazing.

  • @terrifranklin7585
    @terrifranklin7585 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    2 of my favorite peeps! She makes intelligence seem so common place. Tom is still the best interview around! Do it again- soon please.

  • @gloriasaliba3395
    @gloriasaliba3395 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    One of the very best relationship psychologists I’ve heard !! The ability to hold multiple perspectives and through varied cultural lenses is key.

  • @RedIria
    @RedIria 3 ปีที่แล้ว +227

    "She has podcasts around this stuff" .. how about "She has multiple TED talks and books published around this stuff" ?

    • @Miutaeht
      @Miutaeht 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yes, what happened to the amazing intros Tom used to do!?

    • @tatianab2049
      @tatianab2049 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah, a missed opportunity

    • @jemineye02
      @jemineye02 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Yeah... C'mon Tom. Her work in relationship dynamics is groundbreaking. She deserves a solid introduction.

    • @shellshocked7620
      @shellshocked7620 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      And then he got the name of her podcast wrong too... Esther is wonderful and articulate. Tom was irritating.

    • @villaespesa1
      @villaespesa1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      She's so insightful and articulate about everything she says, her introduction lacks how paramount she is around her area of expertise and how much she is respected.

  • @frankvaneck1
    @frankvaneck1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    What I see as a pattern in the work of relationships through having been watching Esther a lot is that when the host or questioning person is male, the conversation is about rationalizing and categorizing and trying to understand relationships. While when the other person is a woman it is more about the actual Living of relationships, the struggles, the conflicts, the hardship, through sharing personal stories and experiences.
    I prefer when the both being present. In this case the host does not show his own vulnerability yet only shows how well he is in understanding which is not adding to the convo unfortunately.
    Still Esther is gold and her work full of nuggets to collect for my own life.

  • @MyPersonalCoachingClub
    @MyPersonalCoachingClub 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The process does shape the experience. The power of the mind is so intriguing. What one perceives most times is what one gets!!

  • @janetkirsten6233
    @janetkirsten6233 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    There are 4 things that kill a relationship and you should look for from day one....
    1. Contempt
    2. Neglect
    3. Stonewalling and
    4. Disrespect

    • @LolitaSurely
      @LolitaSurely ปีที่แล้ว +2

      1.) Criticism
      2.) Defensiveness
      3.) Stonewalling
      4.) Contempt

    • @AndrewBeniston
      @AndrewBeniston 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The four horsemen!

  • @whizzardno1
    @whizzardno1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I absolutely agree with her point on language and "naming and framing". I've seen people get really angrynand frustrated because they couldn't explain or convey how they felt and couldn't get pass the misunderstanding.

  • @scramblendan
    @scramblendan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    She is the bomb. Love her and how she understands, explains how to love another.

  • @IevaKambarovaite
    @IevaKambarovaite 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    This was so good. I'm going to spend my night writing a couple of letters instead of binging on another series. Absolutely loved this 💜

  • @elgeebee5250
    @elgeebee5250 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    So true. Meditation and self awareness and bodily awareness! Polyvagal theory too! Also perception understanding one's past/values/triggers/beliefs

  • @annagrear4167
    @annagrear4167 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Relational intelligence as the capacity to hold multiple perspectives at the same time: spot on!

  • @victoriahalpin8816
    @victoriahalpin8816 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love how her content , no matter how many times I listen to her always sounds fresh .

  • @revathysembuganathan
    @revathysembuganathan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    ooo i am thrilled to know more about the card game Ester described towards the end of this talk, fantastic interview as usual Tom. Thank you for bringing Ester's wisdom.

  • @sassenachdragon
    @sassenachdragon ปีที่แล้ว

    You listen to so many “experts” which all have many interesting insights but with Esther Perel you have someone who deals with all the different dynamics in real life relationships with her actual patients day in and day out! No wonder she has such a comprehensive perspective!
    Now Tom is interesting, I’ve watched some of Lisa’s interviews and I can tell they have such a healthy marriage because they had been so purposeful in their setting rules for communication within their marriage. Not only are they good role models, their relationship helps them ask the crucial questions of their fascinating guests, particularly Esther Perel!!

  • @aprililes8355
    @aprililes8355 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Emotional integrity, respect, validation are all a very good start for a successful relationship always! Thank you Ester!🙏❤

  • @smenicatti1039
    @smenicatti1039 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    My simple way of communication explanation is that there are 2 types of people. Narcissist style with whom the word communication is one way and it is their way and then you have the second group who are willing to communicate and fix problems.

  • @romifontana-daguerre5473
    @romifontana-daguerre5473 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love her power of language, and how important framing situations in proper language matters.

  • @joeydiamond4756
    @joeydiamond4756 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This needed to be longer! I love this insight on relationships on any spectrum. Wonderful!

    • @joshikawale25
      @joshikawale25 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You can check out more on Lewis Howes's channel

  • @susanminihane4664
    @susanminihane4664 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Wow! What a great interview! This content is very helpful for my personal and professional relationships. I was so engrossed with the interview it seemed to last only 5 seconds.

  • @mariah3654
    @mariah3654 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great interview. I like how you let the interviewee speak, and did not turn it into a miniature counseling session for yourself.

  • @alschiller1578
    @alschiller1578 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Having a guest such as Esther Perel is a treat but I really admired your hosting abilities! You do a great job and ask good questions that keep a viewer intriqued! Great show!!

  • @frankmassello9073
    @frankmassello9073 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is one of her best. I think the interviewer facilitated this. Thanks

  • @marista8884
    @marista8884 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    "The process shapes the experience. The form is more important than the content"!!!! WOW wow wow!!!👏👏👏

  • @MaddieLam
    @MaddieLam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Wow, Esther really just shined in this interview.

  • @ellipsis1228
    @ellipsis1228 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Wow! So many tools handed out in this interview. Will definitely be looking into her work. She's amazing. Thanks for this golden nugget!!

  • @anaharap8781
    @anaharap8781 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    She needs to be invited to "Conversations with Tom". I'd love to hear you guys talk more.

  • @Amegla1976
    @Amegla1976 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Esther is such a gem! I always enjoy and learn so much from her perspective. Also, Tom is a great interviewer that brings consistently good content to this otherwise controversial social media platform. Very much appreciated!

  • @consummatel
    @consummatel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I LOOOOOVE HER!!! can we please have a part 2?

  • @FZAChannel
    @FZAChannel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    24:59 Three things we are really fighting about . Power/control , trust, recognition

  • @williamfisher2427
    @williamfisher2427 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Respect is what makes a relationship work. I know because I’ve been married for 46 years. I’ve seen the that work in two of my children’s marriages and two that didn’t work in my other two children’s marriages.

  • @eviebernal2913
    @eviebernal2913 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Many people have lost these things and stayed together. However, they wouldn’t be any happier single if they couldn’t get someone to give them the validation they need. Sometimes the double edge sword with somebody who doesn’t want to emotionally grow as an individual. At that point you take what you can get. However, if you grow as an individual and they grow as an individual you’d most likely will get past all of these issues. It’s definitely a lot of work. The consistency and the positive treatment of one another makes a relationship absolutely beautiful but it doesn’t make it perfect and it certainly does it make it unsinkable.

  • @valvrj
    @valvrj 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    She is so well thought and full of wisdom. It's hard to maintain relationships in these days (personal, professional, spiritual) but with the right tools in place it's possible to nurture them and keep the flame going for life.

  • @Dounia8686
    @Dounia8686 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Je t'aime Esther !!! Je t'ai découvert il n'y a pas longtemps et je ne peux juste pas arrêter de regarder tes vidéos et écouter tes Podcasts.Je suis belge aussi by the way, fière d'avoir une compatriote comme toi.

  • @sharmpadayachee8939
    @sharmpadayachee8939 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    She's sent from God. With wisdom.. Intelligence.. I'm in awe of her..

  • @guitarsz
    @guitarsz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The woman looks like she's 39 or 42 max. WHAT amazing clarity of mind and energy. Not only is she masterful in her field, but she walks the walk. She's healthy through and through.

    • @joshikawale25
      @joshikawale25 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well she is 63... I was assuming somewhere in her late 50s but not 60 also the assumption was based on the fact that she has two sons who are already adults now and that she has been working for a very long time... But yes she is amazing!

  • @begonebegone7825
    @begonebegone7825 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She is so articulate and right on. Saw her on Ted Talk and she is wonderful.

  • @Heasbxh123
    @Heasbxh123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Fights are primarily about these three things:
    - Power and control
    - Trust and closeness
    - Respect and recognition
    Important questions to reflect on:
    - What have I done lately to affirm the importance of the relationships in my life ? Is there someone I owe a phone call , or an apology to? Is there someone I could help in this moment?
    - What have I done to nurture my connections? What are the things you want to leave behind, and the things you want to develop in a certain connection?

  • @mireillekobeissi3881
    @mireillekobeissi3881 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    She is Fabulous!! By far the best...highly skilful and inspiring. Very insightful interview

  • @kirstinstrand6292
    @kirstinstrand6292 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Open, honest communication is a prerequisite of good sex.
    Without vulnerability in communication...sex will disappear between the two
    in the relationship.

  • @wispervalley
    @wispervalley ปีที่แล้ว

    33:12 "where am I coming from and where do I want to go" Soo powerful words of wisdom. Thank you. Hut ab für Esther, a wise woman who speaks 9 languages. Thank you Tom for having her on your podcast. I'm sure she also impressed you very positively :-) Kind regards, Scottie K.

  • @vaishalivaidya7978
    @vaishalivaidya7978 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She is the most amazing speaker, thinker who brings all aspects of us together and how they interplay, right from biology, to evolution, to communities, cultures, beliefs, organisations, our shared and personal history and all of the little nuances that shape the interplay of our relatiinships.
    We truly need many many more thinkers, speakers like her, like Dr.Mate, Dick Scharwtz, Shefali Tsabary, who go on all levels of the ground to unearth our beautiful fascinating complexities.

  • @dericflairmultiverse4952
    @dericflairmultiverse4952 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    10 languages, Esther Perel is also fluent in Relationships lol

    • @sinthiaszato9189
      @sinthiaszato9189 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wish I could have had my 18 year relationship analyzed by her when we were in crisis and it broke apart. I was very open to therapy but my partner was afraid and unfamiliar and resistant so the marriage went down the hole,,,although we remain good friends but in a surface lightweight more superficial arrangement. It’s hard to find a great therapist that both people like and trust, therapy and self introspection are hard and can be painful plus just a lot of work.

  • @RozzaMindset
    @RozzaMindset 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Great episode! That's why communication skills are so important! Thank you for this valuable information!

  • @debbiesianturi2505
    @debbiesianturi2505 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I believe one thing can kill the relationship of couple, when one of the other keep an old habit such as "A man is a bread winner and a woman only do local duties." Life is change. So I suggest to all couples who need great relationship with their love one, build communication and find the same goal that both of you want to accomplish in life. Compromise is very essential in life.

  • @denisesharon-fallon4758
    @denisesharon-fallon4758 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    what a FULLLLLL body of information that deserves time to embrace at every point. Wow. Thank you. Please enlist all of her contact information

    • @Megan6772
      @Megan6772 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can Google her

  • @jobywatermusic
    @jobywatermusic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thanks Tom and Esther ❤️👌 Mating in Captivity is a fantastic book as is every interview I've heard with this lady.

  • @kari25nov
    @kari25nov 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    In a company setting, where 2 people are "fighting" , the fight may be about 1. power and control, 2. trust and closeness, 3. respect and integrity, but these three issues might also become a cover-up story. The cover-up story is then really about who is going to get the most credits for the success of the company and/or who is going to accept the blame for the company not succeeding. How open and honest are people with each other?

  • @katmarcoux5332
    @katmarcoux5332 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This woman is amazing! Thank you!

  • @mrkevintetz
    @mrkevintetz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow. That was massively packed with insight! I'm gonna have to watch it again lol.

  • @readingsbycara
    @readingsbycara 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Soooo much wisdom.
    ♥️
    *I literally have to re-watch... !*

  • @albertodeulofeu5277
    @albertodeulofeu5277 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Wish i learned this stuff when it mattered. I lost the love of my life to pure ignorance of this stuff

    • @MegaCheese48
      @MegaCheese48 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same here.

    • @aundreaanderson5670
      @aundreaanderson5670 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I believe many have probably lost the love of their life due to ignorance of Relationships.

  • @kirstinstrand6292
    @kirstinstrand6292 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Esther Perel - no one is better on Relationships !

  • @khemaloving4031
    @khemaloving4031 ปีที่แล้ว

    This interview was all over the place… but I was somehow able to keep up. Love Esther!

  • @dean6046
    @dean6046 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Tom and everyone involved in this video!

  • @monalisakar715
    @monalisakar715 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    An amazing deep wisdom on relationship and human mind!!!
    Am a big fan !!!!

  • @ivastoianova7453
    @ivastoianova7453 3 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    She is incredible:)

    • @kathrynrobinson8924
      @kathrynrobinson8924 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      💯 I love her too!! I learn so much from her. 💕💕💕

    • @JaZmine147
      @JaZmine147 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I could listen to her voice forever.

  • @workinprogress6282
    @workinprogress6282 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great engagement here. Glad I listened in. Keep up the good work Tom

  • @Sunshinebuttercups
    @Sunshinebuttercups 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My partner often mistranslates what I say and even when I say immediately no that’s not what I said he just says that’s how I took it and I’m like but that’s not what I said so there’s no point being upset or angry but he won’t budge and I can’t resolve.

  • @priusa8113
    @priusa8113 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Is Esther French or Russian? Love her accent , knowledge and personality!!! What a gem!!

  • @maryjanebrant
    @maryjanebrant 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Such a wonderful presentation. Esther Perel is brilliant.