I started doing drugs years ago as a teenage, got addicted to cocaine, spent my whole life fighting cocaine addiction. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder, got diagnosed with OCD. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly, 6 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
I’m a 44 year old father, husband, and business owner… and I’ve dealt with addiction for years on and off. I have watched and cried at so many of your videos. I can relate to so many of these people and their stories. More than anyone realizes. My words for Antoinette are these… DO NOT GIVE UP. You’re smart, you’re well spoken, you’re beautiful, you have a huge tender, sincere heart. Please get clean and get your life back. I promise you can. I promise. I love you my friend. Mad love and prayers from Tennessee good people. 💪🏼🧡🇺🇸
Exactly- NEVER GIVE UP! I couldn't get any time in, but I kept hanging around the rooms of AA. I knew I belonged there. So that cliché 'keep coming back' is so true!!!
Perfectly said♥︎. Sweet Antoinette please know you are so worth this fight...in time it will get easier I swear it will. If I may add just one peice of advice it is ONE DAY AT A TIME,if that feels too much then take it ONE MINUTE AT A TIME, it saved me many times when I felt some struggle , funny thing is that temptation passes pretty quickly if we keep ourselves and our minds busy. You got this, much love and strength to you😘💙.
“Everything I go through, he goes through” That is some self-awareness right there. She’s not absolving herself from accountability, and I think that’s a huge glimpse into the kind of person she is. I, too, am looking forward to an update.
SAME!! gawwwd I almost wish I wouldn't have read this statement,, I haven't thought about those days for a long while now,, nope, DON'T miss any of that! .. I would watch traffic in the early morning of all the ppl up and on their way into work to start their drug free days and be productive and wonder wtf my problem was & why I couldn't seem to get my own life together .. such misery,, it was terrible, but yet I would go find my next fix and continue the misery...I've been clean now for 2 decades and remembering those days now just brings it all back,, it was awful..
My friend had a bad coke problem. Like bad bad. He wanted to stop but couldn’t. Then one day, he told me he did a massive dose of Ls D, asked the universe to let him not be addicted to coke, and listened to Ram Dass - sit around the fire (meditation) for hours. When it was over, he was no longer addicted, had zero desire for the drug, and has been clean for several years. Pretty amazing bc I thought he was done. Wish you all the best.
I know her. She was a regular at the bar I work at in Idaho. I saw this and immediately clicked it because I thought I recognized her. Interesting perspective. I’ve been to barbecues she’s hosted, had multiple conversations with her. I hope she finds peace of mind and help because she isn’t a bad person. This frankly made me really sad to watch.
One of the saddest pieces. She’s so gentle and sweet and such a good person you can tell and I hope she gets ahead of this. What a precious soul. The part on self love hit
The good thing about this is you CAN recover! You’ll have a hell of a story to tell when you’re clean. I hope you fight like hell, girl!! We DO recover.
Stimulant recovery is Hell and by no means easy. Everything loses value, and you garner happiness from nothing due to the receptors in your brain being fried. She can quit, but she’s permanently altered her brain chemistry with this specific DOC
I'm a former coke, benzo, and alcohol addict. I had to hit rock bottom. You have to get clean for yourself. Not your child. Cause if anything connected with him goes wrong you'll use again. I've been clean for over a year. God bless you and keep you.
this was my drug of choice. heavily addicted for a couple of years. i moved to weed and psychedelics. had a tough time weening off those as well. i just vape now. and looking to quit soon. i believe in you. you are strong. rehab to start and therapy every so often will secure your safety. wishing you so so well. the addiction is a part of us and will never leave us, however, we can manage it and stop using hard drugs. so much love. best of luck
I hope ans wish her the best but... I guarantee shes been a scumbag of a person and has done people real dirty especially to the undeserving, even before and during the drugs, id bet 100$ shes racked up some real bad karma
@@dm4njoseph881 and you know this because you know her personally? Diminishing what one person has went or is going through because someone else is worse off is kind of a shitty perspective to have. There's nothing wrong with being empathetic towards someone having a rough go at life, regardless of how trivial YOU feel her problems are.
@@dm4njoseph881 nope, I don't. But I did go to school and learned how to assess people and she's clearly not just playing victim. So got eat a bag full of hot 🐓
I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see you accepting rehab! You’re going to come back with a whole new story. We’re all rooting and praying for you. You matter and you can do it!
This one hit close to home but with heroin instead of cocaine. When she started crying it made me incredibly emotional… Antoinette, I can promise you it does get better. I would love a follow up down the line
¿Porque no la dos? 🤷♂️ Snowballs are a thing precisely because you're not too high, or too low. (there's no such thing as "too high", right? 🤔) 40 years on, I can say owning my life, instead of the needle owning it is still the biggest accomplishment I have. 👍
@@PROUDTOBEANAMERICAN55 a big per cent of cocaine uses always end up on crack , followed by heroin from what's of seen with my own eyes 💯👹. strangely most all of them are smokers 💯👹
I am a struggling coke addict coming on 16 years now. I relate to you Antoinette. And I have no idea how to get out. I'm ruining my marriage and my whole life. Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best. You're not alone!
@@jenbrender3815this is a good idea, however you need to be careful when excerting yourself physically and doing cocaine. Its already very strenuous on the cardiovascular system.
As a recovering cocaine and alcohol addict i felt so touched by this. My addiction looked very similar to hers.. people don’t understand that the problem is not the drug.. it’s way more than that. And one day you wake up and realize you have nothing left. We DO recover antoinette!!! Please.. seek for help, you can do this.
Right!? We do recover from a Coke habit. I used blow for 14 years and got clean. You gotta be ready to feel again. All those feelings come rushing back. You have to retrain your brain to be able to deal.
Meth is big in NZ but Cocaine is huge with every type of person who likes to party and has some $ no matter the age. I guess people think its less addictive then meth and less social judgement from peers so they'll be fine.
Cocaine costs way to much for most addicts in America. Most folks who have that kind of addiction are either rich enough to dodge consequences or turn to harder drugs
I just watched it for three and a half minutes, and I feel like Antoinette is going to make it. This interview, I believe, has helped her realize that she needs to get her life back. I empathize with her. Wishing her a lot of strength and a new kind of addiction that will be helping people. She has a great background!
Antoinette, I relate to and understand every single thing you said - I too am a paralegal who hasn’t worked for the past year and other previous periods due to my addiction. I wish you strength for you and your little boy, but please don’t be too hard on yourself, it may take a few times but you can do it!! You’re in my thoughts, all the absolute best…
I almost didn't leave a comment for you but the Lord wanted me to: 3am is the hour when demonic forces are at the height of their powers Demons will give you tempting sinful dreams (about about drugs, booze, food, sex etc) to try an get you to give into them when you are awake One of the things that they like to do is give you the most vivid and intense sinful dreams RIGHT before you wake up so it will stay in your mind longer/throughout the day And if you actually give into the sin in your dreams this basically means you failed the test and the Lord will allow them to keep coming back off an on until your spirit is strong enough to easily say no Once you can easily abstain from sinning in your DREAMS is when you are completely healed
I lost my best friend 8 years ago from a destructive cocaine addiction. He constantly struggled with the guilt of using. Id do anything to have him back. Antoinette, I am sending you so much love and support! This is a huge step for your well being and your sons. We all deserve a fresh start, leave the guilt and the shame in the past. We as humans we are changing and evolving everyday. You're stronger than yesterday.
As good as Mark is, he does have a tendency to ask quite leading questions. Particularly relating to addiction stemming from childhood trauma. Although there is a strong correlation between these two, its isn't always the case. The danger in always asking questions which lead an interviewee in this direction is that you can miss the nuance associated with the emergence of an addiction. Understanding this nuance is key to recovery. Oversimplified hypothesis don't help as the issue of addiction is by definition, a complex one.
“I can’t keep it together.” “And you blame the coke for that?” 😂 I saw an interview where a woman was molested at age 9 and Mark asked, “So you didn’t want that to happen?” It’s like he’s trolling.
@@jeffmccullough7341 that depends on your definition of professional. Probably doesn’t have a “degree” but he makes money from interviewing people. What’s the definition of “professional”?
You can do this Antoinette!! I never thought I could beat my addiction!! Nothing scared me more than getting clean! I was terrified of the sickness. I was terrified to feel again. You think coke makes you feel? Just wait until you detox and all those endorphins and the natural serotonin starts to reboot and kick in!! It's like being born again feeling, tasting, seeing and hearing for the first time again!! It's amazing!! You got this now all you need to do is trust the process and let it happen! The reward is so worth it!! If I can help in any way, let me know. Your not alone!! God Bless!! Go get your life back!!
i have been waiting for a cocaine interview! not crack as a substance dependant person, cocaine is one thing i struggle with. so thank you mark for this interview and Antoinette i wish you the best of luck and hope to see you in a follow up interview hearing great things. Im rooting for you girl don't give up!
Also used it for years before it got the better of me. The change was I became hurt and struggled with midlife adjustment. It waited that long. Addiction is patient. That’s when recreation changed face and escapism took over. 12 steps, sponsor and rehab. You deserve to be happy. And this can all be your past. Not your future. I wish you all the strength and courage. I did it. And you can too. The cravings will cease and you’ll get yourself back. One day at a time and be kind to yourself like you would to another. Go girl x
I hope this doesn't come off as dismissive, but I really think she'll be ok. She seems like she wants to help herself even if the fear of the unknown of the path towards getting clean seems daunting right now. When there's a will there's a way, and she seems to have the will to change. I have faith in her.
A follow-up interview is needed for sure Mark. Antoinette did fall off the rails as you said. Wishing her all the best in rehab. You can do this Antoinette.
I’ve been dealing with postpartum depression for so long and have MDD, I turned to this substance and have regretted it so much. Your story is helping me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing your story.
I love that SWU has people from wide field.Everyone from addicts to cops ,porn stars to nazis.This one hits home cause you can feel her pain.And she wants to get clean.Addiction doesn’t discriminate,how right she is.Mark if you can help her find a rehab.This one looks ready.I hope you make it.🙏🙏
You got this! Like other commenters have said in this thread, everyone makes mistakes. You are enough! Take the tools they give you in rehab and make them your new habit! I'll pray for you!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I feel her, I’m currently struggling with the same problem, had everything and lost it all recently, trying to find myself and some direction, people I know don’t have any patients with me, I don’t blame anyone that’s abandoned me, but being alone carrying a heavy weight sucks, depression and anxiety is never far, sleep is minimal. I only blame myself and I know I can turn it around again, but my mind is my worst enemy so it’s a process for sure. I can see the desperation to shake the addiction, I feel it too. Hearing your story hits me hard because you’re telling my story too., I rarely run into anyone that would understand what it’s like. Thank you for sharing, stay strong you got this
@@Callmezachhx yeah that is my man.I don't come around as much.Too much deleted comments when I say something against the narrative.But yeah I was there from day one.
Hearing her say how tired she is was the relatable part for me. When I was finally ready to give up alcohol, it was being tired of the whole pattern. Never mind any kind of “rock bottom” moments. She’s got a whole new community of like-minded souls who are ready to welcome and support her. Can’t wait to see the update.
Mark, it amazes me your resilience in these daily encounters with the darkest characters in society. I am 25 years a nurse, and am realizing the PTSD that I suffer from daily service to others. Holding on to your own spirit and joy is a challenge.
Mark, I sense in your voice such weariness and sadness. Please give yourself some me time. You can't allow yourself to be gobbled up by, people who use you over and over and over. Your voice is flat and uninterested. Sense your enthusiasm and eagerness about one of your frequent guests is doing a number on you. You are a very caring person with a caring heart,, and I understand what is going on, almost identical to what I've experienced.......the strong desire to make things right. for another. to no avail.
@@BelleTolles Here we go again with the 'You don't know what someone else is experiencing, so you don't know bla bla bla bla....' It's called burn out.
Wishing her all the best. I would love to see how she is doing later on in her recovery. Thank you for sharing this video with us. 👍🇨🇦😊 It really comes down in the end...how badly they want to be sober. After seeing so many of Mark's interviews...it's all about them, & the change that they want in their lives. As much as we want to see them succeed...it has nothing to do with any of us. They need to want it.
When she brought up her son it reminded me of my mother. She used coke on and off during my childhood. It’s interesting though, most people I met who use coke seemed to be able to drop it pretty easily when they want to, or don’t use it very regularly.
I use to think the same not that I take it but from friends that take this nasty drug it’s a myth, have friends that are on it and it takes a real Hold of you
i think its less common to be a heavy user bc of the price, and different substances affect everyone differently. physically its highly addictive though, so if she had the money for it, it makes sense it got this bad. hopefully she’s able to forgive herself and get off of it.
@@LayLoowit's not a myth. Plenty of us use substances recreationally and have no issues. That's not to say we don't have other addictions, I struggle with food myself. Drugs have never had that effect on me though.
There was a Summer years ago when my son was 8 & at his dad's for Summer, I tried a few things but boy when I tried Coke, it had a hold on me that Summer. When I got my son back from Summer break, I literally told myself "ummm no I can't do this" He's 19 now and I never picked it up again. Man that was a Crossroads moment...
I'll never understand it. My childrens father, he is now dead from his addiction. My daughters friend she deserted her 2 children for crack. My children are damaged from their fathers abuse. Even in death is was the worse possible thing as my Son found him dead after weeks. He's now traumatized. But, I dont get why people do this to themselves. I've been so poor and struggling for years. But, I never turned to drugs. I just kept struggling. Finally after 30 years divorced I now can live fairly confortable. I had to work hard and make a ton of sacrifices.
Antoinette, the observation I made watching your interview is that having someone spend time really talking with you and holding space for you to express everything you're feeling could make a big difference in you creating the life you want. Therapy is a fantastic place for that. Thank you for sharing.
Girl, don't beat yourself up about the house, we all out here struggling just to pay rent each month and have NOTHING to show for it. I did the coke. It was fun until it wasn't. And I wouldn't touch ANY street drugs or even prescribed drugs nowadays. Sending love and light on your journey. It's a tough life and it's stopped being fun anymore.
Literally. We’re all one paycheck away from losing our homes, so she really shouldn’t beat herself up. Lol. It’s hard as hell right now. And street drugs now are sooooo different from when I was using heroin 8-10 years ago, before I went to rehab and got clean. I’d be scared as hell to even do a line of anything out here now, cause the purity is trash, and everything is laced and unsafe. Your last line, shot, etc might be your last line or shot for real. You just don’t know what you’re getting. My cousin who’s still in his addiction said finding real heroin is like winning the lottery, cause there’s only fentanyl out here. I’ll be so glad when he’s ready to get clean. I pray for him so much.
This is the very first interviewee I have felt bad for on SWU. This is very sad she seems like such a sweet person. I really hope she pulls through her addiction
Recovering addict of almost 9 years here. Same D.O.C., and similar in that my active addiction didn’t take off until I was in my 30s. If you were to see my life today vs. my life on the day that I got clean, it would be unrecognizable. The only thing that has remained the same is a commitment and willingness to recovery a day at a time. A day clean is a win, and I am so proud of you for making the decision to love yourself and get help. If I can make one suggestion to you, it would be to surround yourself with strong women in recovery. Latch onto them. They will give you the comfort, wisdom, guidance, and love that you will need in this process. You got this!!
Antoinette, this was hard to watch because you are so likable and so smart. I have so much faith in you and picture you after doing the program and thriving. I see the compassion and sensitivity in you and one day you will make a wonderful friend to people who are lucky enough to be in your life. You're amazing, I see it. I wish you so much success and also hope to see you in a second interview with Mark! Rooting hard for you!!
😢 IMMEDIATELY when she started to cry, I felt a lump come in my throat as I almost cried also..... I know exactly how she feels to have sold things, have a bunch of money and it's gone in no time, and have absolutely NOTHING to show for it!!! My grandma died 14 years ago and left me and my sister with several savings bonds, and I was in active heroin addiction at the time, and cashed in ALL the savings bonds that had matured over 40 years, and received thousands and thousands of dollars, and literally almost every penny went to heroin within about 4 months! I did buy a nice mustang, but when my money ran out, I sold the mustang and bought a cheaper car, and did that same thing about 3 or 4 times until I was left with a POS bucket of a car. What a vicious cycle addiction is!!!!! My grandma would be SOOOO hurt if she ever knew what I did with those savings bonds! I get choked up every time I even start to think about what I did, and I immediately switch to thinking of something else because I just can't bear it! 😢 I love you gram, and miss you more than you will ever know 😘💞
If you can, forgive yourself the next time, it comes up for you instead of switching to thinking for something else, truly resolve it inside, and forgive yourself, for what you did when you were in addiction, or even at any other time, then it can truly go away, and you'll never have to push those thoughts back down deep inside of you. That's what we call shadow work God bless you
@@AJP-j8coff of what you said, forgiveness is the path to loving yourself and truly practicing self maintenance. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't very hard, but no matter what damage you have caused, it is repairable. I thank my God everyday for giving me the strength to love who I am. Inner peace is achievable, and it starts with forgiving.
Trust me, your Gram loved you NO MATTER WHAT. She would only care that you’re healthy now. She would want you to be healthy and happy. Let it go, child. Forgive yourself ❤️
Well I didn’t expect to start my day feeling this emotional but I can fell Antoinette pain, I’m so sorry for what you are going through, you are young and can turn your life around, you are stronger than you think. Don’t listen to your mind saying that you cannot do it. You will, you are worth it.
You’re a saint Mark! Deep family history with addiction - not sure I have the capacity for sympathy for addicts but the world is better with people like you in it!
I was addicted to cocaine for the better part of 8 years in my 20’s-early 30’s. When I decided to stop, the first 2 weeks was awful, but it got easier. Thankfully I have a supportive family and friends to lean on… That loneliness started to go away, but she’s right; No one can help you fix yourself from addiction but you.
She's ready to recover. She's at her rock bottom. She's filled with guilt and shame AND she knows there is a better way, a better life. She used to live it. I think that's a crucial piece of successful recovery - knowing the better life you once had and knowing you can get it back. It's a great motivator and you already have a template for how. I'd love to see a follow up, good or bad.
I felt like the you were talking about your childhood I could see that little girl, I just wanted to hold her. I've gotten over my addictions, I forgave myself and I've held on to the idea of a life I want to live. Loving yourself isn't easy but it gets easier.
I’m over 9 years sober (and clean), but I couldn’t do it without help, though I tried for years on my own. I pray that you have your own moment of clarity and that you find recovery. Please don’t give up, there is a whole new life waiting for you!
Former coke addict and alcoholic of 2 years here. Almost 2 years clean. I hated those come downs and everytime I think “yeah it was fun and I miss it sometimes” I think about those moments and how it was horrible. It is possible to get clean, it is possible! Good luck Antoinette ❤
Antoinette - you are strong & you are still young & you are so wise & you can defeat this problem. take the smallest of steps forward - it takes the courage that's already inside you. and this is huge - and i used to do this - stop shaming yourself. shaming yourself is the fuel to this disease... remember that, shame leads to using.... and one more thing: we are rooting for you.
Addiction turns good people into monsters man, it destroys everything good in your life. Not judging at all, have had my own struggles in that area.. I feel her pain
True that bro, but you wouldnt call Antoinette a monster im sure 😁 You n me, seen folks who'll break morals within weeks of their first hit, and those who don't. Different strokes for different folks, yet all "addicts" are labelled as the same .. Time we overhauled the labels around mental health struggles and consequent illicit self medicating imho. Its a sort of global racism thats been going on since "reefer madness" very complex topic in a black and white world. Diabetics whose lives would be hideous without insulin arent labelled addicts or monsters. Yet imagine If insulin was illegal and only available on the street in questionable quality and insane prices... we'd see more than a few moral transgressions by diabetic desperados! Opiates are given such a bad rap but Methadones been dispensed safely for many decades. Sure, diversion happens, collateral damage is unavoidable but in the end reducing harm and keeping families intact is key For a certain percent of humanity alcohol is a magical Jekyll and hyde potion, yet all who drink alcohol arent labelled alcoholics..
Babyyyyy, I lost everything to drugs. You gotta be ready. If you’re not, it won’t ever stop…but you have to find your reason to want to stop because it’s never just gonna happen…see what you can find that makes you feel happiness. I have a son. He’s my everything. Thats why I’m clean. I’m lucky my son is little still but your son will thank you time and time again if you can stop.
That's true. The cycle won't stop till she goes clean. I'm proud that you too the chance and risk to stop. That's good. Keep going. May opportunities, blessings, favour and comfort find you as you continue with life Love and light to you❤️
I've done a lot of shit when I was younger, but coke was intense. The want for more and more is just insanity and no other drug had ever had a hold on me like cocaine did, there was even a point where i would tell myself "do the drugs, don't let the drugs do you"... luckily I was able to break away from it and stay sober for these past 2 years. Big prayers to every single person suffering from this same thing, there are brighter days it just takes a whole lot of strength to not fall back in that hole! Much love👊
Girl you are still young enough to fix your happiness. Forgive yourself. $200,000 is nothing. People lose millions and fix their lives. Only you are creating your reality. Go ask for help. ❤ you are not alone.
My close friend died from taking cocaine not knowing fentanyl was in it's cut. She never used those drugs ever so please people avoid this garbage. It's not worth it. I'm so scared for anyone that thinks we're in the late 70s or the early 2000s we are in a time of crisis. You can trust no one with your life when it comes to drugs. Out of respect for her child I tell nobody we know in common these details because I understand her families right to preserving their privacy and my friends dignity but it's just so upsetting to hear anyone go into these powders blindly. I wish she had gone somewhere else that day or I'd called her.
Something I hear time and again. An addict becomes estranged from their family due to their substance abuse issues, isolating them even more, pushing them deeper into addiction. It's a vicious cycle. Instead, families should step up and surround the addict with company, love and give them purpose. Just dropping by to see them every so often isn't enough. Move them in with you if that's what it takes, an addict needs constant distraction whilst they get clean and even still once they're navigating life without the crutch they've depended on for, in most cases, years. Johann Hari's TED talk on addiction nails this exact point. We need connection not isolation. The whole way society and governments approach drug use and users is completely broken. We need change! My heart goes out to you Antoinette, know that we do recover, it is possible. I have faith in you
@@stoney_703 I did go through this actually, hence I can speak from a place of experience. Yes, I know we avoid people, but I didn't say it'd be easy. But that's what we need. Not to be allowed to isolate ourselves. I don't have the answers for _how_ that's achieved, something for those much smarter than I to figure out. But it starts at the highest level in civilised societies via our governments taking positive actions first, instead of avoiding it like the plague to avoid risking their political careers.
i disagree friend ive seen first hand how stigmatizing and drug shaming by family members just makes the situation much worse. its like pouring petrol on a fire. Gets nowhere... Look at the stupid neverending war on drugs Society across the planet encourages openly judging and vilifies the most vulnerable in our communities No wonder users gravitate towards each other, if meds were prescribable by healthcare in safe doses they way methadone, suboxone, Desoxyn and ritalin are, many users would glady remove themselves from the bankruptcy and shitshow dramas of obtaining illicit meds on the street. And the money saved would give living in regular society a chance. @@stoney_703
@@ASOA_STRENGTH I feel for addicts especially people coping with abuse, but unless you’re mentally ill, one must make a choice if they want to continue on the life of drugs or make the choice to get help and stop doing drugs REGARDLESS of what anybody else has to say about it. It’s on them and no one else, they don’t need to blame anyone or think “they need to be nicer to me” or “what aren’t they coddling me” They need to not worry about anyone else but themselves and to get off drugs !
I used cocaine for 20 years. One day i stopped and never looked back. I never thought i could stop but i cried out to the One who can set you free. Jesus is real amd He loves you and he will help you. Just ask. He will take it from their
Not sure if you will ever read this but you can come back from this, you’re stronger than you could ever image. Coke is just a means of escape from childhood trauma and it’s perfectly understandable why. Once you can have self compassion for why you need to escape, you can start to heal from it ❤️🙏
I'm very proud of your decision, Antoinette. You definitely can do this. Remember drugs re-wire your brain, so the come down off the cocaine is just that. Your brain chemicals are trying to rebalance themselves, hence the overwhelming emotions that hit with the comedown. You have a lot to live for! I look forward to seeing you return to SWU as a role model.
I relate to her story and how she's feeling 100%. I've been exactly where she was and I didn't see a way to help myself. I've shared the same thoughts of not recognizing myself, lonely, loss of friends, shame ,guilt and just low but, Today I am 13 months clean and sober. We DO recover. Becky, you can and will get through this!
My councilor told me about a client he had that "Put a million dollars up his nose" and had nothing left to show for how successful of a business man he was. Coke became more important. Addiction takes away everything.. it's just a matter of when.
Antoinette.. Go well.Stay focussed and be brave.You are smart.Do this for you first. then for your son.Have been in the pit of darkness too but there is light beyond.Thankyou Becky for getting this opportunity in place: Thank you ,Mark for your compassion ,as always .🙏xxx
Been off that junk for 12 years and one day it will be like it all never happened because you can remove yourself so far from the lifestyle and the junk. I don't even think about it and I'm never tempted because I truly don't want it. You can recover.
Walked in those shoes of hers!! She has made the first step to the rest of her life! I’m praying for her to find the peace strength and love of herself!! ❤
This is probably one of the darkest and saddest interviews marks done, you can tell from her voice that her addiction has cost her her life, much love to her and her family and prayers for recovery ❤❤
God damn, this one hit me. For years I was a decent looking, well spoken, completely broken, suicidal drug addict. Then one day, it all blew up in my face. I swear to god I hope this woman makes it.
I was there. A little over 3 years sober after struggling with a coke addiction for 11 years. I was 29 when I quit after finding out I was having a baby boy. You got this. We do recover
I imagine this is what my mom was going through when I was a kid. She was a cocaine addict. She died on her 40th birthday. Did some coke, fell and got a brain bleed. Died alone not to far from this interview spot on Main Street in Downtown LA. I was 15 at the time. I wish she was still here. I am 48 now and crying like a baby while typing this. ANYONE can change.
I started doing drugs years ago as a teenage, got addicted to cocaine, spent my whole life fighting cocaine addiction. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder, got diagnosed with OCD. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly, 6 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Shrooms are life changing.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
I’m a 44 year old father, husband, and business owner… and I’ve dealt with addiction for years on and off. I have watched and cried at so many of your videos. I can relate to so many of these people and their stories. More than anyone realizes. My words for Antoinette are these… DO NOT GIVE UP. You’re smart, you’re well spoken, you’re beautiful, you have a huge tender, sincere heart. Please get clean and get your life back. I promise you can. I promise. I love you my friend. Mad love and prayers from Tennessee good people. 💪🏼🧡🇺🇸
Exactly- NEVER GIVE UP! I couldn't get any time in, but I kept hanging around the rooms of AA. I knew I belonged there. So that cliché 'keep coming back' is so true!!!
You sound better than her dad you didn't just leave and move across the country
Perfectly said♥︎. Sweet Antoinette please know you are so worth this fight...in time it will get easier I swear it will. If I may add just one peice of advice it is ONE DAY AT A TIME,if that feels too much then take it ONE MINUTE AT A TIME, it saved me many times when I felt some struggle , funny thing is that temptation passes pretty quickly if we keep ourselves and our minds busy. You got this, much love and strength to you😘💙.
That was a very nice post :)
Yes these are facts.
Mark, we need a follow up on her in a few months! I feel like we’re going to see a totally different person! You got this Antoinette!
This is exactly what I was going to comment! 💜💜💜
Praise God
Yes,I believe in this woman
Agreed!
@@James-m3o5x me too. You can absolutely tell that she’s tired of that life.
“Everything I go through, he goes through”
That is some self-awareness right there. She’s not absolving herself from accountability, and I think that’s a huge glimpse into the kind of person she is. I, too, am looking forward to an update.
Agree! There’s accountability here. I really hope she gets clean.
❤
❤
Definitely don’t miss the sun coming up and the birds chirping not being able to sleep, a bloody runny nose, feeling like a piece of scum etc
I remember those days
Those were miserable days.
Yeah, spot on. The thought of it makes me feel sick.
SAME!! gawwwd I almost wish I wouldn't have read this statement,, I haven't thought about those days for a long while now,, nope, DON'T miss any of that! .. I would watch traffic in the early morning of all the ppl up and on their way into work to start their drug free days and be productive and wonder wtf my problem was & why I couldn't seem to get my own life together .. such misery,, it was terrible, but yet I would go find my next fix and continue the misery...I've been clean now for 2 decades and remembering those days now just brings it all back,, it was awful..
@@tammylouasksdearsubswtf7955❤
My friend had a bad coke problem. Like bad bad. He wanted to stop but couldn’t. Then one day, he told me he did a massive dose of Ls D, asked the universe to let him not be addicted to coke, and listened to Ram Dass - sit around the fire (meditation) for hours. When it was over, he was no longer addicted, had zero desire for the drug, and has been clean for several years. Pretty amazing bc I thought he was done. Wish you all the best.
@@apparentlyworshipped7747nope. He got sober and became super successful
BS
@@NoName-ql1wknot BS.
My guy a huge dose of LSD can reveal the truth... And if you are not ready it will be a very nasty trip
@@BB-pw7ig total BS
The shame and guilt is overflowing from her, I've been there and I hate to see anyone like this.
for real
Im going thru this right now. Been working over 70hrs a week just to stay away from it
@@nocapFR focus on yourself, keep yourself busy, cut ties with negativity
But no remorse
I know her. She was a regular at the bar I work at in Idaho. I saw this and immediately clicked it because I thought I recognized her. Interesting perspective. I’ve been to barbecues she’s hosted, had multiple conversations with her. I hope she finds peace of mind and help because she isn’t a bad person. This frankly made me really sad to watch.
It's sad to watch. Hope she finds clarity and peace
I had a roommate who was lonely and did coke. She's clean now and thriving. You got this
One of the saddest pieces. She’s so gentle and sweet and such a good person you can tell and I hope she gets ahead of this. What a precious soul. The part on self love hit
I feel for her. You can see she's holding back tears and just needs to let it out. It's okay to cry. Sending her hugs and love. ❤❤
Yeh, she's shy too.
Addiction doesn't discriminate. Very true. Sending thoughts of patience and courage. Thank you Mark and guest.
The good thing about this is you CAN recover! You’ll have a hell of a story to tell when you’re clean. I hope you fight like hell, girl!! We DO recover.
Stimulant recovery is Hell and by no means easy. Everything loses value, and you garner happiness from nothing due to the receptors in your brain being fried. She can quit, but she’s permanently altered her brain chemistry with this specific DOC
@@stonedbeachaidan6574 do you think opiate addiction is any different? It isn’t. But it’s all doable. You just have to fight like hell!!
@benjaminhenderson4786 not all ROA
I'm a former coke, benzo, and alcohol addict. I had to hit rock bottom. You have to get clean for yourself. Not your child. Cause if anything connected with him goes wrong you'll use again. I've been clean for over a year. God bless you and keep you.
WoW it’s a tough watch. I felt quite emotional myself.
Antoinette .. you have a lovely smile please don’t give up! You got this..
this was my drug of choice. heavily addicted for a couple of years. i moved to weed and psychedelics. had a tough time weening off those as well. i just vape now. and looking to quit soon. i believe in you. you are strong. rehab to start and therapy every so often will secure your safety. wishing you so so well. the addiction is a part of us and will never leave us, however, we can manage it and stop using hard drugs. so much love. best of luck
She seems like a smart, no-BS kind of person. She can do anything she puts her mind to.
100% agree!
I hope ans wish her the best but... I guarantee shes been a scumbag of a person and has done people real dirty especially to the undeserving, even before and during the drugs, id bet 100$ shes racked up some real bad karma
This is equality women having problems men have always had to battle with, they asked for it and we get to see it.
Like an 8ball?
A lot of people are smart and bright yet they end up in this situation. This was my story from 2005-2010.
Bro, this was sad. You can tell this woman is hurting
You’ve been fooled, she’s playing the victim, her life is sunshine and rainbows for other people
@@dm4njoseph881 and you know this because you know her personally? Diminishing what one person has went or is going through because someone else is worse off is kind of a shitty perspective to have. There's nothing wrong with being empathetic towards someone having a rough go at life, regardless of how trivial YOU feel her problems are.
Yeah.... something doesn't seem genuine about this. I could be wrong but she doesn't legit.@@dm4njoseph881
@@tgbeam and you know she’s hurting cuz you know her personally ? Shutup lol
@@dm4njoseph881 nope, I don't. But I did go to school and learned how to assess people and she's clearly not just playing victim. So got eat a bag full of hot 🐓
I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see you accepting rehab! You’re going to come back with a whole new story. We’re all rooting and praying for you. You matter and you can do it!
thank you for not letting her beat herself up by mentioning she’s not the only one. i needed that during my addiction
This one hit close to home but with heroin instead of cocaine. When she started crying it made me incredibly emotional… Antoinette, I can promise you it does get better. I would love a follow up down the line
¿Porque no la dos? 🤷♂️
Snowballs are a thing precisely because you're not too high, or too low. (there's no such thing as "too high", right? 🤔)
40 years on, I can say owning my life, instead of the needle owning it is still the biggest accomplishment I have. 👍
Down the line 👃
@@PROUDTOBEANAMERICAN55 a big per cent of cocaine uses always end up on crack , followed by heroin from what's of seen with my own eyes 💯👹. strangely most all of them are smokers 💯👹
I am a struggling coke addict coming on 16 years now. I relate to you Antoinette. And I have no idea how to get out. I'm ruining my marriage and my whole life. Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best. You're not alone!
I don’t know if this helps but working out and lifting weights helps me get a mini rush. It’s not as intense as the coke rush but it definitely helps.
@@jenbrender3815 Thank you.
You can do this call uplift recovery they will help you
Adderall
@@jenbrender3815this is a good idea, however you need to be careful when excerting yourself physically and doing cocaine. Its already very strenuous on the cardiovascular system.
I will keep Antoinette in my prayers. I think she has great potential and can make it!
I feel the same
God won't help
Liar
@@Abbieabmapraying won't hurt either.
@@dgtwo3724placebo’s for everyone!
As a recovering cocaine and alcohol addict i felt so touched by this. My addiction looked very similar to hers.. people don’t understand that the problem is not the drug.. it’s way more than that. And one day you wake up and realize you have nothing left. We DO recover antoinette!!! Please.. seek for help, you can do this.
Right!? We do recover from a Coke habit. I used blow for 14 years and got clean. You gotta be ready to feel again. All those feelings come rushing back. You have to retrain your brain to be able to deal.
Finally someone I can relate with heavy! Thanks for being vulnerable , not easy thing to do
It's wild to me that this is the first cocaine addict you've featured. Cocaine is HUGE here in the UK.
Meth is number 1 here in USA.
Cocaine is huge every where I’m pretty sure
Meth is big in NZ but Cocaine is huge with every type of person who likes to party and has some $ no matter the age. I guess people think its less addictive then meth and less social judgement from peers so they'll be fine.
Cocaine costs way to much for most addicts in America. Most folks who have that kind of addiction are either rich enough to dodge consequences or turn to harder drugs
Yea one of my friends from Scotland does it and shes been doin it since a teen, shes 23 :/
I just watched it for three and a half minutes, and I feel like Antoinette is going to make it.
This interview, I believe, has helped her realize that she needs to get her life back.
I empathize with her. Wishing her a lot of strength and a new kind of addiction that will be helping people. She has a great background!
Her story is so similar to mine.
Been clean for 12 years off coke and heroin. It’s possible. ❤❤
Antoinette we are all cheering for you!!!! You have everything you got to succeed.
Antoinette, I relate to and understand every single thing you said - I too am a paralegal who hasn’t worked for the past year and other previous periods due to my addiction. I wish you strength for you and your little boy, but please don’t be too hard on yourself, it may take a few times but you can do it!! You’re in my thoughts, all the absolute best…
Waking up from a bad dream about drugs at 3am to see swu upload this
Ty Mark:)
I almost didn't leave a comment for you but the Lord wanted me to:
3am is the hour when demonic forces are at the height of their powers
Demons will give you tempting sinful dreams (about about drugs, booze, food, sex etc) to try an get you to give into them when you are awake
One of the things that they like to do is give you the most vivid and intense sinful dreams RIGHT before you wake up so it will stay in your mind longer/throughout the day
And if you actually give into the sin in your dreams this basically means you failed the test and the Lord will allow them to keep coming back off an on until your spirit is strong enough to easily say no
Once you can easily abstain from sinning in your DREAMS is when you are completely healed
This woman has a wonderful soul. I hope you make it through this addiction, you are worth so much more.
I lost my best friend 8 years ago from a destructive cocaine addiction. He constantly struggled with the guilt of using. Id do anything to have him back. Antoinette, I am sending you so much love and support! This is a huge step for your well being and your sons. We all deserve a fresh start, leave the guilt and the shame in the past. We as humans we are changing and evolving everyday. You're stronger than yesterday.
As good as Mark is, he does have a tendency to ask quite leading questions. Particularly relating to addiction stemming from childhood trauma. Although there is a strong correlation between these two, its isn't always the case. The danger in always asking questions which lead an interviewee in this direction is that you can miss the nuance associated with the emergence of an addiction. Understanding this nuance is key to recovery. Oversimplified hypothesis don't help as the issue of addiction is by definition, a complex one.
Excellent point
“I can’t keep it together.” “And you blame the coke for that?” 😂 I saw an interview where a woman was molested at age 9 and Mark asked, “So you didn’t want that to happen?” It’s like he’s trolling.
I agree. She also alluded to a shooting, which led to her increased coke use, which he didn't delve into at all
He’s not a professional interviewer, he’s a photographer
@@jeffmccullough7341 that depends on your definition of professional. Probably doesn’t have a “degree” but he makes money from interviewing people. What’s the definition of “professional”?
good luck on your journey to sobriety, all 5 million of us here are rooting for you! you got this!
You can do this Antoinette!! I never thought I could beat my addiction!! Nothing scared me more than getting clean! I was terrified of the sickness. I was terrified to feel again. You think coke makes you feel? Just wait until you detox and all those endorphins and the natural serotonin starts to reboot and kick in!! It's like being born again feeling, tasting, seeing and hearing for the first time again!! It's amazing!! You got this now all you need to do is trust the process and let it happen! The reward is so worth it!! If I can help in any way, let me know. Your not alone!! God Bless!! Go get your life back!!
i have been waiting for a cocaine interview! not crack as a substance dependant person, cocaine is one thing i struggle with. so thank you mark for this interview and Antoinette i wish you the best of luck and hope to see you in a follow up interview hearing great things. Im rooting for you girl don't give up!
Also used it for years before it got the better of me. The change was I became hurt and struggled with midlife adjustment. It waited that long. Addiction is patient. That’s when recreation changed face and escapism took over. 12 steps, sponsor and rehab.
You deserve to be happy. And this can all be your past. Not your future. I wish you all the strength and courage. I did it. And you can too. The cravings will cease and you’ll get yourself back. One day at a time and be kind to yourself like you would to another. Go girl x
I hope this doesn't come off as dismissive, but I really think she'll be ok. She seems like she wants to help herself even if the fear of the unknown of the path towards getting clean seems daunting right now. When there's a will there's a way, and she seems to have the will to change. I have faith in her.
I agree.. something about her.. that statement when I look in the mirror. She's gonna make it.
You seem to have hope in the hopeful.
If she doesn't start smoking crack when here nose starts to fall apart....maybe
A follow-up interview is needed for sure Mark. Antoinette did fall off the rails as you said. Wishing her all the best in rehab. You can do this Antoinette.
Thanks for sharing you story, Antionette.
I’ve been dealing with postpartum depression for so long and have MDD, I turned to this substance and have regretted it so much. Your story is helping me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing your story.
I love that SWU has people from wide field.Everyone from addicts to cops ,porn stars to nazis.This one hits home cause you can feel her pain.And she wants to get clean.Addiction doesn’t discriminate,how right she is.Mark if you can help her find a rehab.This one looks ready.I hope you make it.🙏🙏
Admitting , and asking for help takes a lot of courage …… you got this girl …. Sending you positive vibes…
You got this! Like other commenters have said in this thread, everyone makes mistakes. You are enough! Take the tools they give you in rehab and make them your new habit! I'll pray for you!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I feel her, I’m currently struggling with the same problem, had everything and lost it all recently, trying to find myself and some direction, people
I know don’t have any patients with me, I don’t blame anyone that’s abandoned me, but being alone carrying a heavy weight sucks, depression and anxiety is never far, sleep is minimal. I only blame myself and I know I can turn it around again, but my mind is my worst enemy so it’s a process for sure. I can see the desperation to shake the addiction, I feel it too. Hearing your story hits me hard because you’re telling my story too., I rarely run into anyone that would understand what it’s like. Thank you for sharing, stay strong you got this
Escapism is the most POWERFUL trigger for myself and others.
Hey, I’ve seen you on Rom Wills comment section!
@@Callmezachhx yeah that is my man.I don't come around as much.Too much deleted comments when I say something against the narrative.But yeah I was there from day one.
Escape ism ya buddy! !!!
Hearing her say how tired she is was the relatable part for me. When I was finally ready to give up alcohol, it was being tired of the whole pattern. Never mind any kind of “rock bottom” moments.
She’s got a whole new community of like-minded souls who are ready to welcome and support her.
Can’t wait to see the update.
Mark, it amazes me your resilience in these daily encounters with the darkest characters in society. I am 25 years a nurse, and am realizing the PTSD that I suffer from daily service to others. Holding on to your own spirit and joy is a challenge.
It's called burnout, not PTSD.
Mark, I sense in your voice such weariness and sadness. Please
give yourself some me time. You
can't allow yourself to be gobbled
up by, people who use you over
and over and over. Your voice is
flat and uninterested. Sense your
enthusiasm and eagerness about
one of your frequent guests is doing
a number on you. You are a very
caring person with a caring heart,,
and I understand what is going on,
almost identical to what I've experienced.......the strong desire
to make things right. for another.
to no avail.
@@jellylight3358exactly
@jellylight, you don't know what someone else is experiencing.a nurse may hear and see things that trigger PTSD
@@BelleTolles Here we go again with the 'You don't know what someone else is experiencing, so you don't know bla bla bla bla....'
It's called burn out.
Wishing her all the best. I would love to see how she is doing later on in her recovery. Thank you for sharing this video with us. 👍🇨🇦😊 It really comes down in the end...how badly they want to be sober. After seeing so many of Mark's interviews...it's all about them, & the change that they want in their lives. As much as we want to see them succeed...it has nothing to do with any of us. They need to want it.
When she brought up her son it reminded me of my mother. She used coke on and off during my childhood. It’s interesting though, most people I met who use coke seemed to be able to drop it pretty easily when they want to, or don’t use it very regularly.
I use to think the same not that I take it but from friends that take this nasty drug it’s a myth, have friends that are on it and it takes a real Hold of you
It really does.... and it's more common than we think. 😢
i think its less common to be a heavy user bc of the price, and different substances affect everyone differently. physically its highly addictive though, so if she had the money for it, it makes sense it got this bad. hopefully she’s able to forgive herself and get off of it.
@@LayLoowit's not a myth. Plenty of us use substances recreationally and have no issues. That's not to say we don't have other addictions, I struggle with food myself. Drugs have never had that effect on me though.
There was a Summer years ago when my son was 8 & at his dad's for Summer, I tried a few things but boy when I tried Coke, it had a hold on me that Summer. When I got my son back from Summer break, I literally told myself "ummm no I can't do this" He's 19 now and I never picked it up again. Man that was a Crossroads moment...
Mark, your compassion and empathy is enviable. We all need kindness.
I'll never understand it. My childrens father, he is now dead from his addiction. My daughters friend she deserted her 2 children for crack. My children are damaged from their fathers abuse. Even in death is was the worse possible thing as my Son found him dead after weeks. He's now traumatized. But, I dont get why people do this to themselves. I've been so poor and struggling for years. But, I never turned to drugs. I just kept struggling. Finally after 30 years divorced I now can live fairly confortable. I had to work hard and make a ton of sacrifices.
Antoinette, the observation I made watching your interview is that having someone spend time really talking with you and holding space for you to express everything you're feeling could make a big difference in you creating the life you want. Therapy is a fantastic place for that.
Thank you for sharing.
Girl, don't beat yourself up about the house, we all out here struggling just to pay rent each month and have NOTHING to show for it. I did the coke. It was fun until it wasn't. And I wouldn't touch ANY street drugs or even prescribed drugs nowadays. Sending love and light on your journey. It's a tough life and it's stopped being fun anymore.
Literally. We’re all one paycheck away from losing our homes, so she really shouldn’t beat herself up. Lol. It’s hard as hell right now. And street drugs now are sooooo different from when I was using heroin 8-10 years ago, before I went to rehab and got clean. I’d be scared as hell to even do a line of anything out here now, cause the purity is trash, and everything is laced and unsafe. Your last line, shot, etc might be your last line or shot for real. You just don’t know what you’re getting. My cousin who’s still in his addiction said finding real heroin is like winning the lottery, cause there’s only fentanyl out here. I’ll be so glad when he’s ready to get clean. I pray for him so much.
@@alexandriaturner3492the difference is she had full owner ship of it.
This is the very first interviewee I have felt bad for on SWU. This is very sad she seems like such a sweet person. I really hope she pulls through her addiction
Recovering addict of almost 9 years here. Same D.O.C., and similar in that my active addiction didn’t take off until I was in my 30s. If you were to see my life today vs. my life on the day that I got clean, it would be unrecognizable. The only thing that has remained the same is a commitment and willingness to recovery a day at a time. A day clean is a win, and I am so proud of you for making the decision to love yourself and get help. If I can make one suggestion to you, it would be to surround yourself with strong women in recovery. Latch onto them. They will give you the comfort, wisdom, guidance, and love that you will need in this process. You got this!!
Oh my heart breaks, i feel you and send you all the love and light!
Antoinette, this was hard to watch because you are so likable and so smart. I have so much faith in you and picture you after doing the program and thriving. I see the compassion and sensitivity in you and one day you will make a wonderful friend to people who are lucky enough to be in your life. You're amazing, I see it. I wish you so much success and also hope to see you in a second interview with Mark! Rooting hard for you!!
😢 IMMEDIATELY when she started to cry, I felt a lump come in my throat as I almost cried also..... I know exactly how she feels to have sold things, have a bunch of money and it's gone in no time, and have absolutely NOTHING to show for it!!! My grandma died 14 years ago and left me and my sister with several savings bonds, and I was in active heroin addiction at the time, and cashed in ALL the savings bonds that had matured over 40 years, and received thousands and thousands of dollars, and literally almost every penny went to heroin within about 4 months! I did buy a nice mustang, but when my money ran out, I sold the mustang and bought a cheaper car, and did that same thing about 3 or 4 times until I was left with a POS bucket of a car. What a vicious cycle addiction is!!!!! My grandma would be SOOOO hurt if she ever knew what I did with those savings bonds! I get choked up every time I even start to think about what I did, and I immediately switch to thinking of something else because I just can't bear it! 😢
I love you gram, and miss you more than you will ever know 😘💞
Exactly that.. for people that judge.. drugs REALLY do not discriminate!! It doesn't matter who you are!!!!
Addiction costs a lot of money!! That's why dealers are balling and laughing hard!! It sucks! I feel you hun!! Xxx
If you can, forgive yourself the next time, it comes up for you instead of switching to thinking for something else, truly resolve it inside, and forgive yourself, for what you did when you were in addiction, or even at any other time, then it can truly go away, and you'll never have to push those thoughts back down deep inside of you. That's what we call shadow work
God bless you
@@AJP-j8coff of what you said, forgiveness is the path to loving yourself and truly practicing self maintenance. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't very hard, but no matter what damage you have caused, it is repairable. I thank my God everyday for giving me the strength to love who I am. Inner peace is achievable, and it starts with forgiving.
Trust me, your Gram loved you NO MATTER WHAT. She would only care that you’re healthy now. She would want you to be healthy and happy. Let it go, child. Forgive yourself ❤️
Well I didn’t expect to start my day feeling this emotional but I can fell Antoinette pain, I’m so sorry for what you are going through, you are young and can turn your life around, you are stronger than you think. Don’t listen to your mind saying that you cannot do it. You will, you are worth it.
Wishing her the best luck in recovery
You’re a saint Mark! Deep family history with addiction - not sure I have the capacity for sympathy for addicts but the world is better with people like you in it!
She would make a great detective, she's smart and seem to have had her head on her shoulder at one point of her life. I hope she gets the help needed.
Plus she'd definitely be able to find where they'd stashed the coke.
I was addicted to cocaine for the better part of 8 years in my 20’s-early 30’s. When I decided to stop, the first 2 weeks was awful, but it got easier. Thankfully I have a supportive family and friends to lean on… That loneliness started to go away, but she’s right; No one can help you fix yourself from addiction but you.
It’s normal to have fear of the unknown, but you can do it Antoinette. You and your son deserve a better life, and you can do it. Rooting for you 🎉
She's ready to recover. She's at her rock bottom. She's filled with guilt and shame AND she knows there is a better way, a better life. She used to live it.
I think that's a crucial piece of successful recovery - knowing the better life you once had and knowing you can get it back.
It's a great motivator and you already have a template for how.
I'd love to see a follow up, good or bad.
I felt like the you were talking about your childhood I could see that little girl, I just wanted to hold her. I've gotten over my addictions, I forgave myself and I've held on to the idea of a life I want to live. Loving yourself isn't easy but it gets easier.
I’m over 9 years sober (and clean), but I couldn’t do it without help, though I tried for years on my own. I pray that you have your own moment of clarity and that you find recovery. Please don’t give up, there is a whole new life waiting for you!
Former coke addict and alcoholic of 2 years here. Almost 2 years clean. I hated those come downs and everytime I think “yeah it was fun and I miss it sometimes” I think about those moments and how it was horrible. It is possible to get clean, it is possible!
Good luck Antoinette ❤
Antoinette - you are strong & you are still young & you are so wise & you can defeat this problem. take the smallest of steps forward - it takes the courage that's already inside you. and this is huge - and i used to do this - stop shaming yourself. shaming yourself is the fuel to this disease... remember that, shame leads to using.... and one more thing: we are rooting for you.
Addiction turns good people into monsters man, it destroys everything good in your life. Not judging at all, have had my own struggles in that area.. I feel her pain
True that bro, but you wouldnt call Antoinette a monster im sure 😁
You n me, seen folks who'll break morals within weeks of their first hit, and those who don't.
Different strokes for different folks, yet all "addicts" are labelled as the same ..
Time we overhauled the labels around mental health struggles and consequent illicit self medicating imho.
Its a sort of global racism thats been going on since "reefer madness"
very complex topic in a black and white world.
Diabetics whose lives would be hideous without insulin arent labelled addicts or monsters.
Yet imagine If insulin was illegal and only available on the street in questionable quality and insane prices... we'd see more than a few moral transgressions by diabetic desperados!
Opiates are given such a bad rap but Methadones been dispensed safely for many decades.
Sure, diversion happens, collateral damage is unavoidable but in the end reducing harm and keeping families intact is key
For a certain percent of humanity alcohol is a magical Jekyll and hyde potion, yet all who drink alcohol arent labelled alcoholics..
Should have asked her more about the shooting that triggered the chronic cocaine use.
Babyyyyy, I lost everything to drugs. You gotta be ready. If you’re not, it won’t ever stop…but you have to find your reason to want to stop because it’s never just gonna happen…see what you can find that makes you feel happiness. I have a son. He’s my everything. Thats why I’m clean. I’m lucky my son is little still but your son will thank you time and time again if you can stop.
That's true. The cycle won't stop till she goes clean.
I'm proud that you too the chance and risk to stop. That's good.
Keep going. May opportunities, blessings, favour and comfort find you as you continue with life
Love and light to you❤️
I've done a lot of shit when I was younger, but coke was intense. The want for more and more is just insanity and no other drug had ever had a hold on me like cocaine did, there was even a point where i would tell myself "do the drugs, don't let the drugs do you"... luckily I was able to break away from it and stay sober for these past 2 years. Big prayers to every single person suffering from this same thing, there are brighter days it just takes a whole lot of strength to not fall back in that hole! Much love👊
Girl you are still young enough to fix your happiness. Forgive yourself. $200,000 is nothing. People lose millions and fix their lives. Only you are creating your reality. Go ask for help. ❤ you are not alone.
Sending this brave woman love and strength. Thank you for sharing your story and helping so many 🤍
One day at a time, Antoinette. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You’ve got this!
My close friend died from taking cocaine not knowing fentanyl was in it's cut. She never used those drugs ever so please people avoid this garbage. It's not worth it. I'm so scared for anyone that thinks we're in the late 70s or the early 2000s we are in a time of crisis. You can trust no one with your life when it comes to drugs. Out of respect for her child I tell nobody we know in common these details because I understand her families right to preserving their privacy and my friends dignity but it's just so upsetting to hear anyone go into these powders blindly. I wish she had gone somewhere else that day or I'd called her.
Something I hear time and again. An addict becomes estranged from their family due to their substance abuse issues, isolating them even more, pushing them deeper into addiction. It's a vicious cycle. Instead, families should step up and surround the addict with company, love and give them purpose. Just dropping by to see them every so often isn't enough. Move them in with you if that's what it takes, an addict needs constant distraction whilst they get clean and even still once they're navigating life without the crutch they've depended on for, in most cases, years. Johann Hari's TED talk on addiction nails this exact point. We need connection not isolation. The whole way society and governments approach drug use and users is completely broken. We need change!
My heart goes out to you Antoinette, know that we do recover, it is possible. I have faith in you
It sounds like you’ve never gone through this, drug addicts avoid family and friends, or only come around when they need something
@@stoney_703 I did go through this actually, hence I can speak from a place of experience. Yes, I know we avoid people, but I didn't say it'd be easy. But that's what we need. Not to be allowed to isolate ourselves. I don't have the answers for _how_ that's achieved, something for those much smarter than I to figure out. But it starts at the highest level in civilised societies via our governments taking positive actions first, instead of avoiding it like the plague to avoid risking their political careers.
i disagree friend
ive seen first hand how stigmatizing and drug shaming by family members just makes the situation much worse.
its like pouring petrol on a fire.
Gets nowhere... Look at the stupid neverending war on drugs
Society across the planet encourages openly judging and vilifies the most vulnerable in our communities
No wonder users gravitate towards each other, if meds were prescribable by healthcare in safe doses they way methadone, suboxone, Desoxyn and ritalin are, many users would glady remove themselves from the bankruptcy and shitshow dramas of obtaining illicit meds on the street.
And the money saved would give living in regular society a chance.
@@stoney_703
@@ASOA_STRENGTH I feel for addicts especially people coping with abuse, but unless you’re mentally ill, one must make a choice if they want to continue on the life of drugs or make the choice to get help and stop doing drugs REGARDLESS of what anybody else has to say about it. It’s on them and no one else, they don’t need to blame anyone or think “they need to be nicer to me” or “what aren’t they coddling me” They need to not worry about anyone else but themselves and to get off drugs !
Have you ever moved an addict into your home? Oftentimes it is simply not safe.
I used cocaine for 20 years. One day i stopped and never looked back. I never thought i could stop but i cried out to the One who can set you free. Jesus is real amd He loves you and he will help you. Just ask. He will take it from their
Not sure if you will ever read this but you can come back from this, you’re stronger than you could ever image. Coke is just a means of escape from childhood trauma and it’s perfectly understandable why. Once you can have self compassion for why you need to escape, you can start to heal from it ❤️🙏
I'm very proud of your decision, Antoinette. You definitely can do this. Remember drugs re-wire your brain, so the come down off the cocaine is just that. Your brain chemicals are trying to rebalance themselves, hence the overwhelming emotions that hit with the comedown. You have a lot to live for! I look forward to seeing you return to SWU as a role model.
Thank you Mark ❤
I loved it when she said everything she goes through, her son goes through. Very insightful and self aware of her
I cant wait until she gets better ❤
I relate to her story and how she's feeling 100%. I've been exactly where she was and I didn't see a way to help myself. I've shared the same thoughts of not recognizing myself, lonely, loss of friends, shame ,guilt and just low but, Today I am 13 months clean and sober. We DO recover. Becky, you can and will get through this!
My councilor told me about a client he had that "Put a million dollars up his nose" and had nothing left to show for how successful of a business man he was. Coke became more important. Addiction takes away everything.. it's just a matter of when.
His probably not got a nose to show for it now aswell
Antoinette.. Go well.Stay focussed and be brave.You are smart.Do this for you first. then for your son.Have been in the pit of darkness too but there is light beyond.Thankyou Becky for getting this opportunity in place: Thank you ,Mark for your compassion ,as always .🙏xxx
Been off that junk for 12 years and one day it will be like it all never happened because you can remove yourself so far from the lifestyle and the junk. I don't even think about it and I'm never tempted because I truly don't want it. You can recover.
Walked in those shoes of hers!! She has made the first step to the rest of her life! I’m praying for her to find the peace strength and love of herself!! ❤
This is probably one of the darkest and saddest interviews marks done, you can tell from her voice that her addiction has cost her her life, much love to her and her family and prayers for recovery ❤❤
Hate seeing such a short video. Such a strong story. Hoping the best for you and your son.
Looking forward to an update!
God damn, this one hit me. For years I was a decent looking, well spoken, completely broken, suicidal drug addict. Then one day, it all blew up in my face.
I swear to god I hope this woman makes it.
Antoinette,
Keeping you close in heart, and thought; as you navigate your recovery 💛
I was there. A little over 3 years sober after struggling with a coke addiction for 11 years. I was 29 when I quit after finding out I was having a baby boy. You got this. We do recover
I hope this lady overcomes her addiction and raises her son.
I so hope she does well … or did well
She has so much promise
I imagine this is what my mom was going through when I was a kid. She was a cocaine addict. She died on her 40th birthday. Did some coke, fell and got a brain bleed. Died alone not to far from this interview spot on Main Street in Downtown LA. I was 15 at the time. I wish she was still here. I am 48 now and crying like a baby while typing this. ANYONE can change.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Stay strong.
Antoinette addiction group rehab is a good step ….you will come through this tunnel and help others . 🙏❤️