The Secret Rules of Being an American

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.พ. 2025
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    Sixteen years ago, I left Britain to start a new life in the United States. And while I've since learned that a flannel is called a washcloth, nobody prepared me for the secret rules of being American - the bizarre, unwritten social codes that govern everyday life.
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ความคิดเห็น • 1.6K

  • @LostinthePond
    @LostinthePond  20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

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    • @susannpatton2893
      @susannpatton2893 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      In the Caribbean, they say good morning, good afternoon and goodnight ( not as in their going to bed, but as in have a good night)

    • @OlettaLiano
      @OlettaLiano 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Damn, now you got me thinking I might not be an American, even though I was born and raised here. I don't like ranch dressing, I don't wave at strangers or people I know, especially at people I know. I also don't say hello, smile, or participate in small talk. And, I do love British sarcasm and humor. I must be part of a secret alien experiment.

    • @AMPProf
      @AMPProf 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      No Sir.. Chicagland Just a Hidy ho hey ther ho der hi r

    • @elyrienvalkyr8167
      @elyrienvalkyr8167 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Europeans: Americans are all rude and obnoxious
      Americans: constantly polite and waves

    • @cyberherbalist
      @cyberherbalist 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Your American accent is getting pretty good! My English accent is nonexistent.

  • @kalamari3288
    @kalamari3288 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +219

    Small thing about the midwestern goodbye: if you are sitting, it generally begins with slapping your knee or knees rather than your hands. You can also include a sigh after the "Whelp". This helps people understand that you are tired, and can only stay and talk for 3 additional hours rather than the usual 4.

    • @anonymes2884
      @anonymes2884 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +12

      Hah, funny thing is, if you watch "[North] Americans in the UK" videos, they sometimes note the same thing about us as an amusing quirk - apparently we also slap our knees and say "Right then" as a preamble to leaving.
      Difference is, we then actually leave, rather than stay for another entire-unit-of-visit-time :).

    • @tangledthreadworks
      @tangledthreadworks 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +11

      Minimum 30 minutes to say goodbye

    • @SongsOfRelief
      @SongsOfRelief 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      😂😂😂 whelp, (slap) I'm about patched out, so I'll begin limbering up for departure in 3-4 hours.

    • @mrhumpty
      @mrhumpty 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

      Co-sign, knee or thigh slapping is for sitting. If you clap your hands, you'll be labeled an imposter and doomed to the basement for questioning.

    • @ameliadavis1979
      @ameliadavis1979 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      Goes for all of the Southeast states, too. 😊

  • @kfnfjcjf
    @kfnfjcjf 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +256

    Laurence, don't forget about the "thanks" wave when another driver or pedestrian gestures for you to go ahead of them.

    • @erakfishfishfish
      @erakfishfishfish 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +19

      Or the awkward “my bad” wave if they acknowledge they were at fault for something.

    • @Shanghaimartin
      @Shanghaimartin 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +14

      This is actually the norm in the UK too.
      Not just an American thing.

    • @user-vm5ud4xw6n
      @user-vm5ud4xw6n 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      I try to do this all the time. If someone lets me out and I have to be quick about it I will lift my hand high enough so they see me wave thanks!

    • @ruk2023--
      @ruk2023-- 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      This is far more normal in the UK than America. I do it 100% of the time at home but the only places I have ever seen it done in America (and I've driven a fair few states) are 1) Texas - mainly because everyone is packing and nobody wants to get shot it seems, 2) Rhode Island - occasionally an octogenarian in a town car will proffer a friendly wave and 3) Massachusetts - although it always seems to be a wave of a middle finger.
      In California the best you can ever hope for is a scowling nod of acceptance that you're forcefully merging (which is the only kind of merge in California) and I could go on but in short I have found it to be very rare to wave at other drivers in the USA. Oh, wait....Florida! Happens a lot in the suburbs but they are usually waving at something random that isn't you.
      I have literally never seen it in Nevada, Washington state, Illinois, Delaware, Orgegon, Utah, Colorado (actually no it did once happen in a town called Golden), Alambama, Georgia or Kansas. I haven't driven anywhere else to comment.
      None of this is any way a criticism. I much prefer driving in the US.

    • @marcialandakanebeaulieu9229
      @marcialandakanebeaulieu9229 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

      Everyone should do this! It's just good manners. I am disappointed by people who don't...and have strong suspicions regarding their up bringing. 😢

  • @granadascarf4375
    @granadascarf4375 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +319

    In Virginia and West Virginia when you are driving way out in the county, farmers on tractors wave to you, drivers in approaching cars wave, front porch stters wave, and the odd person on foot waves. Of course you wave back. It's such a nice tradition!

    • @stephgreen3070
      @stephgreen3070 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +25

      Upper Midwest as well! It’s the one-finger “farmer wave” when you’re in a vehicle and it’s usually just a raised hand, not a whole-armed wave. And many times it’s accompanied with a head nod and a tight, quick smile.

    • @lolacorinne5384
      @lolacorinne5384 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

      Montana too

    • @brianb7686
      @brianb7686 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

      Same in rural parts of the PNW.

    • @echobeefpv8530
      @echobeefpv8530 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      In farm country, in Canada, it is very similar. When we pass a farmer in a tractor,similar situations, the quick wave / fingers up at the wheel is considered normal. As for chatting with strangers, really has to be the right setting. A quick good morning, or pretty cold / hot / windy is enough.

    • @AngelaPickles1929
      @AngelaPickles1929 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      We do that in western Maryland, too.

  • @EmelRaines
    @EmelRaines 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +183

    The trick is to figure out WHEN to meet the other pedestrian's face. Cause you have to greet them when you meet their face but you don't want to do it too far back or when you're too close. So you look everywhere else until you're the right distance and then you meet their eyes and greet them

    • @Motherhubbard170
      @Motherhubbard170 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +12

      killer true I'm cringing even at the thought

    • @AunaWitherjin
      @AunaWitherjin 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +15

      Well it gets so awkward if you do it too soon, because then you feel like there needs to be more interaction until the pass, but you’ve got nothing to contribute 🤣

    • @angelserene7004
      @angelserene7004 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

      😅😂 This is too true

    • @michaelstein7510
      @michaelstein7510 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

      I’ve found four paces away is about the right moment to greet someone passing by.

    • @heinzriemann3213
      @heinzriemann3213 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      Ok here's my honest to God attempt to help:
      Look at them early and fake a half smile and hold it, looking back down while going and repeat that process until you reach the right distance to greet.
      You're showing slight excitement to greet them instead of pretending not to see them.
      All will be good.

  • @Deeplycloseted435
    @Deeplycloseted435 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +248

    I never appreciated small talk until I left the US, and people would look at me like, “How dare you speak to me,” because I had the nerve to say, “Hi, beautiful day isn’t it?” In the US, even a slightly rude person will at least give you a little smile and nod.
    I had never really payed any attention to how often I spoke to strangers until I had this experience. I’m not even the most social person either. Its just how we do it, I guess?

    • @kyledabearsfan
      @kyledabearsfan 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +15

      yeah people take for granted how lucky we are for the most part. We have our problems sure. But especially rural areas, great places to live.

    • @psymar
      @psymar 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +13

      People tend to be less chatty in major cities where you encounter hundreds of people a day and more chatty out in the boonies when you might not see anyone for a week

    • @ZainKhan-kg6qr
      @ZainKhan-kg6qr 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

      It's what makes us American

    • @nedludd7622
      @nedludd7622 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      People do small talk because they like to hear themselves to reassure themselves they exist.

    • @ValkyrieTiara
      @ValkyrieTiara 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +19

      @@nedludd7622 Who hurt you?

  • @da_ghoul9432
    @da_ghoul9432 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +305

    This guy wouldn't last a week in the south, the kindness would overtake him. Bless his heart.

    • @stephaniegee227
      @stephaniegee227 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +13

      I was thinking the same thing.

    • @CptJistuce
      @CptJistuce 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +8

      You ain't lyin'.

    • @adriansolis5362
      @adriansolis5362 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +8

      Texan here: You're 100% correct.

    • @HOTD108_
      @HOTD108_ 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Southern folk are so nice!
      Unless you're black... :(

    • @alisong2328
      @alisong2328 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +20

      He probably thinks "bless his heart" is a good thing! 😅

  • @rowynnecrowley1689
    @rowynnecrowley1689 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +292

    It's true. If you make eye contact with a stranger, you obligated to acknowledge them, either verbally or with a smile and/or nod (said nod can be in either direction).

    • @twentyonegrams8617
      @twentyonegrams8617 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +29

      Themz the rulez

    • @adv2ht
      @adv2ht 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +17

      although i would say never make eye contact with a person who appears to be insane or behaving irrationally, it will pull aggro

    • @lainiwakura1776
      @lainiwakura1776 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

      That's why I always look away or at the ground.

    • @rancon265
      @rancon265 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      What other direction other than down, can you nod? They're gonna think you're a tweaker with a twitch.

    • @teemoto3923
      @teemoto3923 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      ​@@adv2htthis is why mirrored sunglasses should be standard equipment when walking the "downtown" if many large cities.

  • @rebapuck5061
    @rebapuck5061 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +74

    As a kid I hated talking just for the sake of talking. As I told my mom, I had nothing to say. Ten years later I told her that I considered myself an adult as I now could talk to people while still having nothing to say.

    • @nedludd7622
      @nedludd7622 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      Well put.

  • @Maxfr8
    @Maxfr8 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +133

    It's easier speaking to strangers because I have zero connection to them and can walk away with no lasting responsibility.

    • @NoirMorter
      @NoirMorter 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

      Right! Trying to explain that to my Asian wife was hilarious.

    • @Maxfr8
      @Maxfr8 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      @NoirMorter Exactly !

    • @CptJistuce
      @CptJistuce 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

      And they won't pull you into the long goodbye at the end.

    • @PatientPerspective
      @PatientPerspective ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      I'd say it's sometimes more genuine because theoretically you don't have those subjective biases. You can be your actual self. Politics and religion is where it stops, though.

  • @robertlong3561
    @robertlong3561 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +20

    Not sure if this is an American thing or just my family, but after all those stages of goodbye, there’s the shameful return. Somewhere between two blocks and 20 miles away, someone will realize they left something important. Dad left his wallet on the counter in the bathroom upstairs. Missy left her iPad. Junior left his shoes. It’s always something important enough to require a return trip. And once the item is reunited with its owner, the goodbye sequence resumes at the driveway phase.

    • @ggjr61
      @ggjr61 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

      😂

  • @bethsmith3421
    @bethsmith3421 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +240

    That American that will speak to absolutely anyone is my mother, except she is like that American times 100. Here's an example. When I was a child in the 70s, before cell phones you had to remember phone numbers or write them down. It was quite common for people to accidentally dial the wrong number. So this one time this man dialed our number, my mother answered the phone. They established that it was an accident within 30 seconds but my mother talked to the man for more than an hour. She will get into a deep conversation with people she doesn't know in the grocery store, in restaurants, and any other place people stand around or are moving slowly.

    • @karenh2890
      @karenh2890 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +24

      I'm afraid I may be a bit like your mom. 😬

    • @AC-ni4gt
      @AC-ni4gt 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

      Aw man! I remember those days where we actually had to memorize phone numbers for our homes and parents' work phones. If we wanted to have a playdate with a friend or RSVP to a birthday party, numbers will be written down or on the invitation. My fondest memory was seeing the phone book come on the driveway. By the way, I'm an early 90's baby.

    • @erakfishfishfish
      @erakfishfishfish 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +17

      My mom was like that. She would try to strike up a conversation with everyone. When I first saw Fight Club and they introduced the concept of the single-serving friend, I immediately thought of my mom.
      The only people she couldn’t crack were New Yorkers. I had to explain to her that people in NYC were always on guard because if a stranger was friendly to you, they were inevitably going to ask you for money.

    • @cdstoc
      @cdstoc 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +11

      Ha ha! You made me think of my mom, who once (that I know of) talked to a wrong number for over 30 minutes.

    • @judicat1
      @judicat1 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

      My husband's mother was like that. She could make your ears bleed.

  • @ronhutcherson9845
    @ronhutcherson9845 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +58

    The pedestrian greeting is also for security. It says we are aware of our surroundings, you’ve been noticed, and if you’re a neighbor it helps build connections.

    • @CptJistuce
      @CptJistuce 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Security's handled by my dog trying to shout down any attempt at conversation.

    • @vincedibona4687
      @vincedibona4687 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      @CptJistuce My sister’s yappy dog has made doorbell ringers so much more pleasant to deal with since she moved in. Chihuahua-Corgi mix, all of 8 pounds and can bark at approximately 143.787878~ decibels for about 90 minutes on one breath. I just point to my ears, mouth “I can’t hear a thing”, and close the door. 🤣👍🏻😃

    • @CptJistuce
      @CptJistuce 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @vincedibona4687 Haha!
      I tend to larger dogs, which are generally louder but not as fast... though I used to have a shepard-chow mix that barked fast like a chihuahua, but with the volume and bass level of a much larger set of lungs. She sounded like a whole pack of angry wolves all on her own.
      That dog was the best in a lot of ways.

    • @VS-re1sr
      @VS-re1sr 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      Precisely. Eye contact/seeing a face/acknowledging you could identify each other in a lineup makes it less likely that one will attack the other. If someone does not give me this courtesy I tend to give them a wide berth, pull out my phone so I can call for help if needed, or try to pass them in a well lit area with witnesses. So, if someone avoids eye contact due to discomfort they never know how uncomfortable I was.

  • @MarciaD-c3z
    @MarciaD-c3z 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +263

    Yes, the Midwestern goodbye is a southern phenomenon as well.

    • @lindaedwards6683
      @lindaedwards6683 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +17

      I hadn't really thought about this before, but yeah, often times you just can't make a clean exit no matter how hard you try. I thought it was just my family.

    • @Hessen84
      @Hessen84 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +13

      I am from the West Coast and so are my parents and we all do this too.

    • @steventambon2588
      @steventambon2588 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

      Here too in the NE

    • @David-k8d5j
      @David-k8d5j 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

      My sister's ex-husband was from California. He never got used to the Minnesota "Long Good-bye." I think our father had doubts about him because of this, and Dad was from Pennsylvania!

    • @deanm375
      @deanm375 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

      We do it in SoCal as well. Our goodbyes extend to the curb for up to an hour. (usually at night).

  • @commonsense571
    @commonsense571 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +15

    Today a random person caught my eye as I was unknowingly being noticed wincing as I stretched my back. This was at the grocery store.
    “I hope you feel better soon ma’am” FULL sincere eye contact!!
    Well, my American self felt that.. gosh darn it.. people’s at least that random dude, really did care.
    Faith in humanity restored. 🤷🏻‍♀️💕🕊️
    Lovely.
    Can’t lie. Felt lovely.

  • @sethherdt6126
    @sethherdt6126 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +71

    Loving the "ornery American contrarian" character-the accent is quite good!

    • @loistverberg900
      @loistverberg900 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      I'm guessing that this represents the video commenting trolls that Lawrence is tired of hearing from.

  • @jovanweismiller7114
    @jovanweismiller7114 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +16

    You forgot the very last part of the Mid-Western Goodbye, the honk of the horn as you pull away from the house & the final frantic waves.

    • @kathyjohnson2043
      @kathyjohnson2043 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      my husband's family added 2 raps on the vehicle as you first moved away. scared me EVERY time and I never got used to it.

  • @sallycapotosto6927
    @sallycapotosto6927 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +129

    Have you ever seen a "farmer's wave"? That's when you meet a car (while driving in YOUR car) and the driver simply looks straight at you and raises one finger (usually). (Sometimes they raise all their fingers) and you freak out because you weren't sure if you knew them and didn't return the "wave". Ya. Welcome to the midwest. 💜

    • @O2life
      @O2life 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +17

      1 finger: I acknowledge you as a fellow human being.
      all fingers: Not sure I know you, but I think I might have seen you before.
      all fingers and a smile: I know you and I like you.

    • @kathleengomez3207
      @kathleengomez3207 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +21

      From Texas. My husband (from Boston) once saw me exchange a friendly over-the-steering wheel three finger wave with an oncoming driver. Asked me if I knew him. Was stumped when I said I did not.
      Now 13 years later I see him doing it to other drivers all the time.

    • @debfincher1741
      @debfincher1741 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

      Common in Australia as well. Specifically if someone has been courteous whilst driving.

    • @stephgreen3070
      @stephgreen3070 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

      You can also use it if you pass someone walking/running or mowing on a rural road.

    • @nmgg6928
      @nmgg6928 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +8

      I from/live in Illinois and I know exactly the wave you're talking about and have done it myself but never had a name for it lol

  • @emilyb5307
    @emilyb5307 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +36

    It's funny. I don't consider myself very social. Oh, I can be if I have to. But I'm introverted and easily exhausted. But if I catch an eye outside on the street or pass someone, at the minimum a nod and brief smile.
    Heck, I have brushed past someone and said "have a good one!" , held the door open for strangers, or thanked strangers doing it for me.
    Once, a couple a table across from me very clearly were wondering about a dish I'd ordered.
    My company and I turned and I gave them a quick "it's good!" And left them to their conversation.
    To me, these little brief bits of contact are ways of spreading cheer and kindness. If you can take 5 seconds for a smile and nod, you might make someone's day a little nicer. At the very least you'll keep from making it worse. And it costs nothing!

  • @ericswann1417
    @ericswann1417 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +78

    Your American accent is impeccable, and the Midwestern goodbye is a true thing!!! :)

    • @danielsims6483
      @danielsims6483 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Lawrence has at last perfected the generic Midwest American accent. Pitch perfect. Congrats!

  • @TiggerIsMyCat
    @TiggerIsMyCat 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +68

    As a cashier, I can say that that brief human connection is what I love about the job and getting to chat with people about their purchases, how the day is going, how pretty you'll look in your new sparkly shoes (Marshalls gets a lot of moms with toddlers during the day)

    • @BTinSF
      @BTinSF 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

      Thank Heaven Marshall's doesn't get as many male shoppers because they would be fuming while you are chatting. This sort of thing is partly why I buy my "stuff" almost exclusively online these days.

    • @bettyir4302
      @bettyir4302 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

      Even the bank teller at the drive thru used to chit chat and get into your business. "Oh, you have a check from the insurance company, I'm so sorry, what happened?" And it was just being small town nice. I do miss the long drive into town passing only 4 cars and we'd wave at each other. Today, after the Californian invasion, it is bumper to bumper idiot drivers.

    • @CptJistuce
      @CptJistuce 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@BTinSF I know plenty of men that will talk your ear off if given half a chance.

    • @analoren4745
      @analoren4745 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      as another retail worker, I wish they understood that I was just trying to be polite. I really don't need to know about your dying sister and relationship troubles, thank you.

    • @TiggerIsMyCat
      @TiggerIsMyCat 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      @ I do get some men, and to be honest, a few have actually seemed to appreciate me complimenting their choices. Nice color, nice pattern, oh that shirt goes so well with the pants. And I mean, it's not like I'm not scanning and de-sensoring and bagging their stuff while I'm at it. And I mean, if they're not super responsive, I don't really talk AT them, I mean, a conversation isn't a conversation if it's one way.
      And geez, fuming? Is it really worth getting angry over? If just the thought of me chatting with you while I ring up your items pisses you off, I think you might need to take a deep breath.

  • @jillynnrekowski3106
    @jillynnrekowski3106 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +60

    And part of the midwestern goodbye is to convey how much you care about the people leaving by saying “watch out for deer”.
    LOL

    • @leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586
      @leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586 11 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      Right. And you really need to, especially in November.

    • @MidwestArtMan
      @MidwestArtMan 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      I have an aunt who would always tell her sons to watch out for black ice when they'd go out in the winter. After hearing this a few times, one cousin's friend asked him, "Why does your mom always tell you to watch out for black guys?" 😬

    • @rebeccadoty-evans4499
      @rebeccadoty-evans4499 48 นาทีที่ผ่านมา

      😂😂​@@MidwestArtMan

  • @RD1341-x7w
    @RD1341-x7w 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +25

    So true! As a 69 year old Iowan, I've done the farmer wave and extended good-byes my whole life. There's also the holiday sit round the table chit chat about people you've never heard of, such as your mother in law talking about "Susan, who lives down the road from Chuck, and went to grade school with my mother's cousin, Jill." I bought a house in a small town, and lost my identity - now I'm just known as the person who bought the Mason house (12 years ago) and it's mentioned in every conversation I've had with neighbors since.

  • @Itstoearly
    @Itstoearly 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +124

    You also always wave at another person when you pass them on a dirt road, regardless of how they're travelling. Driving? You wave at the person walking. Riding a bike? Wave at the person on horseback. Doesn't matter. Always wave on a dirt road.

    • @onesunnyday5699
      @onesunnyday5699 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

      Someone honks while you're picking up your dog poo & your other hand just instinctively goes up. 👋😂

    • @shelso1300
      @shelso1300 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      Agreed.

    • @Cardinal_claw
      @Cardinal_claw 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

      Feels like a safety thing. "I'm not dangerous, I know you're there" y'know?

    • @sarah.s.flanagan
      @sarah.s.flanagan 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

      Also true on a paved road that USED to be a dirt road

    • @cynthiajohnston424
      @cynthiajohnston424 10 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@onesunnyday5699 😂

  • @candaceroberts3238
    @candaceroberts3238 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +11

    I often talk to people in line at the grocery store. one time the woman and I actually gave each other a big hug as she left ahead of me. It always feels nice to say hi or to wave. Small talk is important even if it’s to a stranger.
    Oh, and I’m in Washington state and from California and it like that all over the country.

    • @loboclaud
      @loboclaud 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      In Portugal we do that a lot, espcially in smaller towns. Small talk is an art we have also perfected.

  • @benclark1423
    @benclark1423 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +79

    As my British father-in-law once pointed out to me when we were at the grocery during a visit over to the UK, “in the States, the cashiers are always so friendly. Here they just sit and scowl at you.”
    Edit: Something I should've mentioned that'd probably help my post make more sense: There was this really great element of comedic timing that went along with his statement, as we'd just gotten in line to pay with a very perturbed-looking cashier. I suppose that's why it sticks in my mind.

    • @au9parsec
      @au9parsec 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +11

      Indeed. Being an introvert can make it much harder to find or keep a job here in the states than in the UK or Europe.

    • @LaLayla99
      @LaLayla99 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

      If they aren't, they get fired.

    • @uncletoby-
      @uncletoby- 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      He’s obviously never shopped at a U.S. Walmart

    • @Uruz2012
      @Uruz2012 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      Fake niceness for the sake of being paid isn't pleasant.

    • @anonymes2884
      @anonymes2884 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      I dunno, at least the scowling UK cashier isn't pretending to be something they're not, which isn't all bad (and I have to admit, my experience with UK cashiers is _mostly_ fine anyway - we're _not_ friends so I don't expect anything beyond basic manners and 99.99% of them deliver that 99.99% of the time). If, as a person on the til, you're having a bad day/life then to be honest, it's none of my business and I don't really want you to offload onto me BUT I _also_ don't need you to talk to me with fake bonhomie and a false smile plastered on your face, pretending you're _not_ feeling that either. People aren't robots, we have ups and downs and that applies to people working in customer service too.
      On the _other_ hand though, on a _day to day_ basis even fake good cheer is _arguably_ nicer to be around than everyone being honest about how miserable they feel so I get it if others disagree. It's a matter of perspective and personal preference.

  • @amyl9864
    @amyl9864 11 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

    I had a lovely conversation in the grocery line with a 3 year about how much he loves broccoli!

  • @justinmeasiam5710
    @justinmeasiam5710 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +94

    Yes, all of these are true. I grew up in the south and the wave was a requirement. If you didnt wave, something was wrong or you were angry at the person you went past and the entire community for a 15 mile radius would be informed of the incident within 5 minutes. This would spawn weeks worth of gossip and conjecture

    • @MumRah
      @MumRah 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

      From GA, can confirm 😂

    • @sallyboberg522
      @sallyboberg522 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      Same in Tenn, especially out in the country. Big cities, different story.

    • @carlacook5181
      @carlacook5181 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

      @@sallyboberg522yep, and the old men who still wear a hat, or even a baseball cap, tipping it to a female and also, holding doors.

    • @nancywiebe3693
      @nancywiebe3693 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Rural KS yes

    • @kalamari3288
      @kalamari3288 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      Never ask a Southerner for directions in their town. They'll spend like 10 minutes per turn describing the houses you are passing by and the people who live there or lived there over the past 50 years.

  • @donaldsmith1055
    @donaldsmith1055 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +29

    Saying Hello are speaking to someone on the street as you pass is really a form of recognition that the other person is there, nothing more, nothing less.

    • @kathyjohnson2043
      @kathyjohnson2043 3 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      ah, but WHY do we need to recognize them as there at all? I think other cultures would find that weird.

  • @AC-ni4gt
    @AC-ni4gt 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +44

    A huge difference from Asian culture where we don't do eye contact with absolute strangers; when we visit a fellow Asian, we need a gift on hand; and one of our greetings basically mean "Have you eaten yet?". Which makes me feel awkward as a damn bloody Hell as an Americanized Asian.

    • @auntietara
      @auntietara 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      My great-grandmother homesteaded in North Dakota, and had some “country” habits. When we arrived to visit her, she would give everyone hugs and then say, “ya’et?” That means “have you eaten,” the word “et” being the past tense of “eat.” 😂

  • @williamjones7163
    @williamjones7163 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +28

    Saying Hello to complete strangers is so American. The other day I had gone to the post office to mail a letter. The office was closed, but the lobby was open. As I was leaving, another lady was coming in. We both smiled, exchanged pleasantries and proceded on. It was just the American/Montanan thing to do.

    • @noedgelines9565
      @noedgelines9565 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      … An American/Ohioan thing as well.😉

    • @Sandy-j9b4x
      @Sandy-j9b4x 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      American Illinoian thing to do 😊

    • @christopherlawley1842
      @christopherlawley1842 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      Northern British too. Mildly alarming for a Southern Brit.

    • @leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586
      @leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586 11 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      Also and American/Michigandian thing to.

    • @anonymes2884
      @anonymes2884 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@christopherlawley1842 Seen the "Mash Report" sketch ? "Northerner terrifies Londoners by going around saying 'Hello' to strangers" should get you there if not - funny cuz it's _sort of_ true :).
      (having lived in both - and the middle for that matter - I think it's true that "overt friendliness" is _broadly_ on a sort of increasing gradient from southern England northwards but _also_ true that people are generally friendlier in smaller places than big towns/cities, regardless of north/south)

  • @stephgreen3070
    @stephgreen3070 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +16

    “Watch for deer” is also an important thing to say as they are backing out the driveway after a midwestern goodbye. It shows you really care about them

    • @ZeroTolerance-tk9ce
      @ZeroTolerance-tk9ce 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      In Virginia that's my standard goodbye to everyone. ( we have so many deer. )

  • @BPBomber
    @BPBomber 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

    I absolutely love when Lawrence uses his various American accents 😂

  • @kenbrown2808
    @kenbrown2808 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +69

    you forgot "watch out fer deer."

    • @AC-ni4gt
      @AC-ni4gt 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      Especially when they can come outta nowhere. Heck I still remember when a school bus driver hit a deer on the way to school. My reaction: "Oh dear".

    • @misspat7555
      @misspat7555 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      And turkeys. And Amish buggies. And tractors. And, in south-central New York State, apparently bears. 🐻

    • @andromeda331
      @andromeda331 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      That can also lead to a conversation about all stories about deer they've ever seen. From stopping in front of your car to camping in the woods.

    • @leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586
      @leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586 11 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yes, the deer are really dangerous, especially in the Fall.

    • @raymondmuench3266
      @raymondmuench3266 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586Don’t veer. Hit the deer. So it runs in MN.

  • @alisong2328
    @alisong2328 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +15

    The "well, we'll be going" is a signal for "get out the tupperware and give us some leftovers!" 😂

    • @Brandyalla
      @Brandyalla 2 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Last Christmas, part of my mom's presents were cheap disposable containers for everyone so so she could stop using hers, because nobody ever remembers to return it lol

  • @gnomevoyeur
    @gnomevoyeur 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +30

    I went through a difficult time with depression that led to me being retired early on medical grounds. I spent months receiving telephone calls from an HR representative who would start every call with "How are you?" On a certain level I knew it was a nonsense greeting that required no response but I also knew it was her job to actually ascertain how I was. It threw me for a loop every time.

    • @yrednai
      @yrednai 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      The responses are
      Having a good day: I’m good thanks, you?
      Having a meh day: Not too bad thanks, you?
      Having a bad day: Living the dream

  • @jeffhands7097
    @jeffhands7097 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

    Your “redneck - lumberjack” character is HILARIOUS! Please do more of him! AND, you should even give him a name like Jake or Dan or something. You could even do a Lost in the Pond survey to find the most suitable name. Those cameos were so good, I’m gonna watch this video again and forward it to a few friends.

  • @twentyonegrams8617
    @twentyonegrams8617 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +69

    We do love our waves, chit chat and small talk. 😂 🇺🇸 Sometimes a random stranger brightens my whole day.

    • @kmrose
      @kmrose 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

      I despise small talk. I'm an introvert in an extroverted country.

    • @twentyonegrams8617
      @twentyonegrams8617 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +8

      @kmrose 😂 I'm sorry. You're welcome to hide behind me while I carry the conversation like my introverted husband does.

    • @grace7701
      @grace7701 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      ​@twentyonegrams8617 same 😂 My family tells me I can make friends with anyone. I honestly just like to at least not and smile to strangers to help brighten their day. Someone having a bad day or going through a rough time, I feel like like a genuine smile can make a big difference for someone.

    • @DanasGardenRetreat
      @DanasGardenRetreat 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      @@kmroseit’s kind of a nervous habit for some people I think… I talk out of nervousness in line sometimes instead of awkward silence 😂

  • @Moikyuu
    @Moikyuu 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

    I'm from the Chicago area and my best friend has parents from Virginia. Our goodbye rituals in college were legendary. It was like a knife fight of hugs and walking backwards while saying things like "well I'd better get going" before we end up in another conversation and drawn back together. It usually took hours. In the end he usually just walked me back to my dorm because the "goodbye" ended up halfway home 😂

  • @KariHoffmann1
    @KariHoffmann1 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +17

    The neighbour wave, socially polite hello, small talk esp in the grocery store 100% easy but rarely, and lmao the Midwestern goodbyes!! Message me when you get home is classic country living phrase which also means I care/love you!
    I'm also Canadian btw 😜🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

  • @MichaelW969
    @MichaelW969 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +12

    I'm a mailman, and a wave is a constant when I drive through any neighborhood.

    • @yetinother
      @yetinother ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Can i move to where you live please? (probably cant afford it)

    • @MichaelW969
      @MichaelW969 53 นาทีที่ผ่านมา

      @yetinother suburban St Louis Missouri

  • @Nurichiri
    @Nurichiri 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +37

    Funny story about the porch wave. When I was a kid (this would have occurred somewhere in the late '80s, early '90s) I lived in a house on a corner lot, a side street going out onto a main street. One day, my mom got the idea that we would do the porch wave and see what some drivers' reactions were. We mostly got waved back and a few friendly honks. The most memorable was a guy who reversed his car to see if he knew us. (This was all on the side street, so we didn't mess with fast moving traffic.)

    • @Phiyedough
      @Phiyedough 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      I suppose the existence of front porches is also a cultural thing. In Europe we sometimes have a similar facility but at the back of the house, in the form of a verandah or patio. That makes it more private, although you might speak to your immediate neighbours if they are nearby.

    • @Nurichiri
      @Nurichiri 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

      @@Phiyedough We Americans can (but not always do) have porches everywhere. Front porches, back porches, even wrap-around porches that go around the side of the house.

  • @luvtinamc
    @luvtinamc 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +14

    In the smallest of small towns, you wave at everyone you pass in the car. A little ungrip of the stearing wheel wave. And if they didn't wave you know they ain't from there. Lol

  • @Mahmah476
    @Mahmah476 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +15

    There's an old Andy Griffith Show (the Mayberry Andy Griffith series with Opie, etc.) where it's evening and Andy and Barney are sitting in rockers on the front porch. Barney says that it's time for him to head home now, but they continue talking and rocking. This goes on a while. Reminds me of what one of my friends and me do when we get together.

  • @deborahdanhauer8525
    @deborahdanhauer8525 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

    Down here in the south, we add one more thing to the long goodbye. After the drive way chat and before the reverse sad goodbyes, there is the “in the car with the window rolled down last minute flight check,” to make sure you haven’t left anything behind.
    Your American accent has improved!!❤️🐝🤗

    • @shirw
      @shirw 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Lol, I'm from Louisiana and I felt that

    • @deborahdanhauer8525
      @deborahdanhauer8525 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      @ Right!? I’ve sat there with the window down and the air conditioner running mightily for half an hour before lol🐝🤗❤️

  • @brodyofhillcountry4050
    @brodyofhillcountry4050 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +25

    I remember when I was a kid, my dad pulled a midwestern goodbye so long on new years day that the family visiting us stayed until 4 am. They said they were leaving at 12:30.

  • @SongsOfRelief
    @SongsOfRelief 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    I was a self- conscious teenager. Sometimes, a secure grown up would see me, and before i could avert my eyes, they'd smile at me and say hello. It was partly awkward, since i expected to be ignored, but it also shored me up through those times. I was seen, and the person wasn't afraid of me or annoyed by me; they smiled. "Maybe i don't look so bad?" I would think. It helped a lot. So now i do it, too, especially if the person looks like i did as a youth.

  • @noah1502
    @noah1502 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +145

    LOLLLL SAYING HELLO TO STRANGERS IS SO NORMAL. when i was growing up i hated it bc i wanted to be left alone. but now that im an adult, i take walks in the morning or evening and i often say "hello" or "good morning" when i pass people on the sidewalk lol

    • @MumRah
      @MumRah 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

      I have become the reverse 😂

    • @profile2047
      @profile2047 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +11

      Same. I was an “introvert” but after 30 years I started looking for fun/happy people to acknowledge or interact with.

    • @Octopusmaster
      @Octopusmaster 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +8

      Here in Florida we have ppl retiring from all over…and the Hello, who ya doin, sup, nod is universal to Americans….its rather weird, cold, or impolite not to.

    • @nazzurro
      @nazzurro 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

      @@profile2047 I've become an introvert as I've grown older but I also do look for the fun looking people to beam a smile at and say hello

    • @jackgilchrist
      @jackgilchrist 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      Hello, how are you? 👋🙂

  • @davidcashin1894
    @davidcashin1894 11 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

    Also you need to spend more time in rural america where "The finger wave" (where the hand gripping the steering wheel raises up the index finger acknowledging your presence) from the steering wheel while driving and encountering each other is a thing. You will know you have arrived when you get a finger wave from a kid on a bicycle, driving a tractor or a small tractor lawn mower! LOL. And yes everything you have discussed I have encountered with family and friends in California, Kansas, Mississippi, Florida, Virginia, Delaware, and New England.

  • @llYossarian
    @llYossarian 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +18

    8:34 - _"Eat if ya get hungry! Pull over if ya get tired!"_ is still my favorite departing exhortation.

  • @Rickettsia505
    @Rickettsia505 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

    In the South, if an elderly lady reaches her hand for yours and you take her hand....just give up. She will never let go, and you will be in the longest conversation of your life.

  • @CarolannBrendel
    @CarolannBrendel 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +21

    Dang it! You told everybody the secret rules. Now we have to come up with new ones. Thanks a lot, Lorenzo.

  • @DianaOfPortland
    @DianaOfPortland 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

    Re: the long midwestern goodbye. About the time we reached the porch my Dad would give an exasperated sigh, rattle his keys, and say, “The car leaves in 30 seconds.” It was ritual speech because no one believed him and the whole sequence you described would continue to play out.

    • @ameliadavis1979
      @ameliadavis1979 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Southeast too

  • @MaryEvans-e5z
    @MaryEvans-e5z 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +14

    I grew up with different rules for greeting and saying goodbye based on which side of the family we were with. On my mom’s side, we greeted everyone with a hug and a kiss. We said goodbye with a hug. On my dad’s side of the family it was do not touch. I had no problem with this because it had always been that way. Now that my grandparents, aunts and uncles, my parents’ cousins are all gone, we are less likely to hug and kiss in my generation. As all kids are, you assume what your family does is how everybody else’s family did it.
    Yes, I will talk to people in the grocery line if we are standing there for a while. I don’t want to look like I’m being deliberately rude.
    We traveled weekly to visit relatives that lived 100 miles away. We called to let them know we were on the way. We always called them when we got home to let them know we were safe. This was considered being polite and reduce any worry about our safety.
    In Texas on 2 lane highways, if someone pulled over and drove on the shoulder to let you pass, you always waved to them to say thank you.

  • @Gworgalad
    @Gworgalad 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +8

    0:20 I moved from the US to the UK almost 2 years ago (cheers from across the pond), and it took me a few months to get used to hearing "sorry" every 5 seconds in public. The American equivalent of "excuse me". I think I prefer "sorry". Both ultimately translate to "Get out of my way, please".
    The slow goodbye is most prevalent in the country. There's been occasions where I've spent more time standing and slowly inching my way to my car trying to leave than I spent sitting inside having a chat. Sometimes people will stand at your car door and continue to talk to you for 30 minutes after the car is started and your seatbelt is on.

    • @anonymes2884
      @anonymes2884 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Never been but i've heard that Canadians do the "sorry" thing too though, not to blow our own trumpet, I suspect in the UK we may have perfected it. You step on their foot, "Sorry", _they_ step on _your_ foot, "Sorry", you need to get past "Sorry", _they_ need to get past "Sorry". Etc. I like it because it at least _suggests_ an initial position of "Hey, _maybe_ what just happened/is about to happen is on _me_ and not _you_ ?".
      And a bit like "cheers", it works in _many_ contexts :).

  • @purplelotus517
    @purplelotus517 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +13

    Americans talk to everyone. It’s just what we do. Grew up in the Midwest and the porch wave is very common. It’s expected. It’s just being friendly.

  • @Svensk7119
    @Svensk7119 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    My grandfather waved at everyone while driving. I thought about that recently, and started waving at the line of cars that I was passing.
    Laurence, I love your ax-less lumberjack accent!

  • @deborahd7171
    @deborahd7171 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +27

    I can confirm the Midwestern goodbye is more complex than the Texas goodbye involving at least an additional step in the process.

    • @O2life
      @O2life 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +17

      Lawrence didn't even cover the forever wave, in which you pull away and then wave at each other from the porch or the car until the other is no longer within sight.

    • @philipliethen519
      @philipliethen519 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      What is the extra step?

  • @southpawSara
    @southpawSara 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

    as for the "midwestern goodbye"..... in my family the joke was (and this is because we're Jewish): do you know the difference between the British and the Yiddish? The British leave without saying goodbye, and the Yiddish keep trying to say goodbye but never leave 😅

  • @ianfurqueron5850
    @ianfurqueron5850 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +16

    Small talk is definitely "American" although somewhat less prevalent in larger cities. My ex- grew up in northern NJ and is very much an introvert. I grew up in the south and while I'm also introverted, that is overruled by my "southern-ness". This would occasionally mortify my ex as I would randomly strike up conversations with strangers while waiting in check-out lines. Mostly out of boredom but it really wasn't anything I consciously thought about doing. It was just something I'd do without thinking about it. If I actually think about trying to talk to someone, I freeze up like a mute.
    And it usually takes at least an hour to leave after saying goodbye... totally normal...

  • @catsinq5726
    @catsinq5726 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +30

    I'm Midwestern, and when I moved down south (Florida) I was AMAZED at how unfriendly people were. Sure, they waved, but they would NOT engage in meaningful conversation while standing in line at the grocery store, the bank, the doctor's waiting room, etc. It was sad. In Chicago, we talked to strangers all the damn time.

    • @grace7701
      @grace7701 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

      That's cause a lot are from New England and they tend to be a bit cranky, this is coming from a New Englander that lived in South Florida for 6 years and now lives in South Carolina. One time I went back home to New England and had to pull off this road (was a country winding hilly road) and was half on the road and half on basically dirt. We were lost and was trying to figure out where to go on the gps. This guy comes out of his house and I'm think southern in my head and how we do people here. So I'm think of great he's coming over to see if we need any help (it was my mom and I and my two kids) and begin to roll down my windows. Well I get the windows halfway down when he start yelling at us to get off his lawn, waving his arms in the air. I roll up the window and we drive off and I'm thinking "I'm not in SC anymore". We definitely don't do that to folks here, unless you are a transplant that has yet to learn the southern ways of politeness and helpfulness. 🙄

    • @erakfishfishfish
      @erakfishfishfish 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

      My wife grew up in NYC, where store clerks are generally grouchy. The first time she went to Chicago, the workers at Walgreens were so friendly it made her deeply uncomfortable!

    • @bakende1103
      @bakende1103 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@grace7701 I lived in central FL close to 10 years and it was the opposite for me. On the road, however, no one gives any effs...only if you go out of your way to do something nice, you MIGHT get a little finger wave over the steering wheel.

    • @DAmend3
      @DAmend3 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

      South Florida is not Dixie, and it's barely America.

    • @CptJistuce
      @CptJistuce 16 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Wild. I'm from Texas and just walking through a parking lot without a conversation is a challenge sometimes.
      I guess that's why Florida's shaped like a dick.

  • @chrisinolympiawa9295
    @chrisinolympiawa9295 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

    We wave at (or greet) people on our street whether walking or driving whether we know them or not. We live in Washington State. The long goodbyes are also true of moms picking up their kids from a visit at a friend's house. Whether we lived in AZ or WA, our daughter knew from the time we said the first goodbye to the final leaving, she had about another half hour to play. 😀

  • @cwavt8849
    @cwavt8849 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

    I have Always spoken to, waved to and engaged strangers.
    Being from the South, I have had extended conversations with absolute strangers.
    I've even done it overseas. In England, they responded Very coldly. In every other country I have been welcomed snd engaged. It was lovely

    • @anonymes2884
      @anonymes2884 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Without knowing the full context, i'd _bet_ that was in southern England ? Broadly, people in the south are a bit more reserved (especially with strangers) and if it's a big city, especially London, that's even more true - _mostly_ they're not really being "cold" though I get it coming across that way, it's just that the default is "mostly, it's polite not to bother other people" (what's sometimes called "negative politeness" because it's about what you _don't_ do being polite/considerate). Whereas the further north you go, the more people are US style _overtly_ friendly (as I understand it, broadly speaking obviously, this is the reverse of the US ?).
      By the time you get up to e.g. Glasgow though, folk'll talk to just about anyone about just about anything :).

  • @rachelgates509
    @rachelgates509 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +19

    The waving thing is deeper than just friendliness!! Its the human version of butt sniffing!!! We have a thing, an idiosyncrasy if you will, about staring or eye contact with strangers!! A smile, or a wave, is a nonverbal gesture to convey to the other “I am non threatening. I’m just looking around casually! I promise I am not staring at you!! I’m good, are you good?” And general sentiments of that nature!! Its a way of going, “Oops! We’ve made eye contact! I promise it was unintentional!!!” lol 😊

  • @bromixsr
    @bromixsr 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

    I live in the rural South, we have a completely different set of goodbyes that involves standing in the road and talking to the people inside the car, while a line is backing up behind them.

  • @kylecarter1599
    @kylecarter1599 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +11

    In the Northeast, most people ignore everyone around them unless they're in a group. And then they only pay attention to the group. And the Irish Goodbye beats the Midwestern Goodbye every time. One goodbye is one goodbye too many.

    • @sharonsmith583
      @sharonsmith583 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      This was a culture shock for me when I moved to NJ from Georgia.

    • @erakfishfishfish
      @erakfishfishfish 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

      I love a good Irish goodbye.

  • @user-vm5ud4xw6n
    @user-vm5ud4xw6n 17 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    Once when my son, my southern born mother in law and I were in a grocery store, as I was selecting some produce , I asked my son (who just returned from cruising around the store looking for samples) where his grandmother was. He said “I don’t know. Probably off somewhere making a friend.” That summed up my mother in law. A woman who took brownies to new neighbors, soup to sick friends (home made, not canned) , if you were having a procedure at a hospital she cheerfully drove you, armed with a romance novel and a thermos of black coffee she would be in the waiting room however long it took. And of course, dad (my father in law) expected nothing less when he got home from work and there she’d be working away at dinner. She baked cookies for coffee hour at church, making a special tin of them for her pastor who was unable to leave his post at the door as he greeted parishioners after the service and so regularly missed Nick and Geri’s cookie bonanza. During the winter if there was a snow warning she say “Nick go get your beer and me some cigarettes (she was finally able to quit) . Those two items being the only thing they didn’t make themselves!

    • @ameliadavis1979
      @ameliadavis1979 5 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      In the Southeast too, except for the dinner on the table. Whichever parent got home first cooked.

  • @Octopusmaster
    @Octopusmaster 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +11

    Great Video…very accurate…the multiple good byes is spot on and the personal space are related….Us Americans are usually very isolated and social at the same time in this weird Dichotomy of wanting others to be around us…but not really….

  • @bullettube9863
    @bullettube9863 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    Over the years I have met many people from different countries and they have always commented on how friendly Americans are. Several people have told me that back in their home countries you can always identify an American because they will smile and say hello to every one they meet. I always smile when I meet foreigners as I remind them that we are the most powerful military in the world capable of destroying the world with nuclear bombs 430 times over. When I attended an airshow many years ago I meant someone from London and as a flight of B-52s flew overhead I said "aren't you glad we are allies?" and he replied; "you still haven't gotten over Concord and Lexington have you?` We both laughed and continued to enjoy the show!

  • @mowen016
    @mowen016 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +12

    I don't wave but am a master of the nod. Like lifting a hat off my head, but I don't wear hats.

  • @auntietara
    @auntietara 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I’m from Western Washington, and we do the midwestern goodbye there, too. I’m an introvert, but there’s nothing better than a nice, long goodbye conversation! It’s like getting a little extra hug.
    🤗😁🥰

  • @noahhodge5543
    @noahhodge5543 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +9

    I would agree that the Midwest Goodbye is a broader phenomenon. I experienced it plenty growing up in the Lancaster County area of Pennsylvania. The Midwesterners give it a new meaning though, I came out west for college and it's a whole other level of drawn-out farewells!

  • @claire6258
    @claire6258 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    Loving the cheeky humour in this one, Loz! 😂😂

  • @jamiesuejeffery
    @jamiesuejeffery 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +7

    I live in the Reno, Nevada suburbs. It is a bit rude if you don't wave, give a not or pet the puppy. (Well, puppies are a bit off limits). The least you can do is shout, "Hey!" that will suffice.

  • @lemonsasa
    @lemonsasa 8 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I grew up in the suburbs of Philly where everyone really does know everyone else. But we only talk to people if we want to. I was used to the front porch wave, but strangers didn't say hi on the street. Then I moved to San Diego and for the first time in my life I found myself in the middle of a conversation with a stranger before I even realized they were talking to me.
    I've lived in Minnesota now for 8 years and I can small talk about the weather with the best of them in the grocery store but it took some time. The first guy I dated in MN questioned my social skills because I didn't smile, nod, and say hello to every single person we passed while hiking. I was too busy looking down, trying not to trip on tree roots and rocks, to look everyone I passed in the eye and say hello. Now I'm used to the midwestern goodbye so I Irish goodbye everyone instead. Luckily, my partner and my family here are all also from Philly so the people I really love know how to say bye at an appropriate hour and for no longer than 10 minutes.

    • @voyageurmike
      @voyageurmike 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yes, in the Philly suburbs people are not outgoing, personal space never seems to be wide enough. I once moved from the Northeast to Boulder, where such public friendliness then existed. Amazing how drastically regional the US can be!

  • @Little_Man152
    @Little_Man152 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +32

    Its called just being nice and a good neighbor. Especially in the south.

    • @onesunnyday5699
      @onesunnyday5699 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Yes. Because EVERYTHING is originally Southern & therefore better 😒🙄

    • @Little_Man152
      @Little_Man152 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      @onesunnyday5699 I didn't say it was better. Why the retaliation.

    • @maikotter9945
      @maikotter9945 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Dixieland -----> mostly evil humans!

    • @ameliadavis1979
      @ameliadavis1979 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      ​@@Little_Man152 I was wondering the same thing.

  • @jessamynfinneran5036
    @jessamynfinneran5036 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Born and raised a city person, but I always walk my guests to the door and often out to the porch and will often tell them to say, "Hi," to loved ones for me. It's definitely not just a Midwestern thing. 😊

  • @asbrotman1
    @asbrotman1 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

    Remember, Laurence, if someone random or in passing asks how you're doing, as a white guy, your obligatory response is "livin' the dream!"

    • @Lord.1337-7
      @Lord.1337-7 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

      Or "hanging in there" lol

  • @nickinderrieden7630
    @nickinderrieden7630 15 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    I live in a city much smaller than Chicago and do sometimes walk around my neighborhood at night. I think a small part of acknowledging strangers on the street is a safety thing. Making eye contact, smiling at a stranger, a friendly phrase, all let both parties know, "I'm not a treat, just traveling." Maybe that's just me.

  • @kathywiseley4382
    @kathywiseley4382 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +8

    Oh dear. You forgot the two finger salute from your steering wheel as you pass somebody while driving in your neighborhood.

  • @judyhawkins6584
    @judyhawkins6584 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    I'm "american" -- born, educated, lived here for 65 years, and I remain helplessly incapable of long form small talk. I did get to observe a lot of it over my forty-three years in the workplace, but the furthest I got with being able to join such a conversation was to jump in with something that I thought was one of the points under discussion, keep my comments brief, and shut up, because I know I can talk at length on anything I know about, in a real conversation with someone who knows stuff and likes telling me about it too, and I can confidently say that one of the rules of long form small talk is not to go on for more than one or two sentences. However, small talk conversations take my contribution with a brief moment of silence, and expressions on the faces like I just stuck gum in someone's hair, and then they go back to where I stepped in, continuing from there as though I said nothing at all.
    Fortunately, I did find workplaces where there were people who wanted to have real conversations about real and interesting topics. The odd thing for me was that some of those people also were able to participate in the small talk conversations, although, often, they didn't stay in them for long. I'm thinking in particular about the chief technician of the last place I worked before I retired -- that guy would start getting this glazed look on his face, and soon after he would fade off into his work. I never found enough acceptable things to say to even get that far; and yet I had many enjoyable conversation with the chief technician and some of the other people who passed through during the years I was there. Working for that chief technician for eighteen years (even though he wasn't actually my boss, in the company's official heirarchy) working for and with that chief technician was what kept me there, because we both loved the kind of work we were doing. Our first interactions demonstrated to both of us that we thought about things in very much the same way, in the ways we approached solving problems and assessing quality. But that's the stuff of real conversations, not small talk.
    My view is that sustained small talk is kind of like the difference between pop music and classical; you can say all sorts of nearly meaningful things, as long as they are neither too heavy or too silly, and it's all about finding the narrow path between too heavy, too meaningful, on the one hand, and on the other, so silly or devoid of content as to be just plain stupid. I've never gotten the hang of that; I can see the path, hazily, somewhere over there across the room, but as soon as I try to step onto it, I wind up in the quicksand.

  • @leev4206
    @leev4206 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +14

    I usually talk to folks in the check out line (and always talk to the cashier) as well as folks in the store aisles. One time I had a real conversation (NOT small talk) right through the lady having her purchases rung up, ending with us agreeing that God had led us to be in that line so we could talk. The cashier was amazed as she realized we were total strangers.

    • @auntietara
      @auntietara 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      I was at Missouri Star buying quilt fabric, and there was a woman there who was trying to decide which fabric would be better with what she’d picked already. As I was walking by I told her which one I thought was better, she responded positively, and we started talking about her project. We ended up having a great conversation, picked out a couple more pieces together, and she left happy. The clerk asked me about the woman, and I said I’d never met her before in my life! She didn’t believe me! 😂

    • @maikotter9945
      @maikotter9945 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      THERE CAN NEVER BE >= 1 "GOD"!

  • @lcflngn
    @lcflngn 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Love that my lovely dad waved us off from the front porch every single time we drove off. Not the least Midwestern, just PNW >SoCal >NoCal him. We try to do the same with our kids but honestly sometimes it’s like “we’re freezing, closing the door now love you!” Not sure how he did that, but he really did. Every time.

  • @marysweeney7370
    @marysweeney7370 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +33

    Don't forget about the wave from the front door window and the reply of the "beep" "beep", wave out the car windows, or flashing of the high beams (if night time) from these in the car saying their last good bye after the goodbye in the kitchen, the front porch, the driveway.

    • @dqan7372
      @dqan7372 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Our neighbors in Michigan honked their horn every time someone left the house. Every time. At least their car had a tinny little horn.

    • @leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586
      @leahmollytheblindcatnordee3586 11 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Yup. Love that one.

  • @rebeccar4270
    @rebeccar4270 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +2

    Yes, my family always did the midwestern goodbye, even though many of us migrated away to other parts of the US.
    I would add one last stage: the waving goodbye at the curb until you can no longer see the car. And folks in the car have their hands out the windows waving as well. And always remember the sunglasses to hide tears.
    Lots of red noses and sunglasses in our photos.

  • @staceegutierrez281
    @staceegutierrez281 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

    My first trip to the UK I didn't know why everyone was asking me if I was "alright?". I was like, "Do I not look alright?" I had a complex that I looked haggard or something. I would respond with a true response....like.... "Oh yeah, I just am trying to get to the train..." LOL. I didn't know until I got home that "You alright?" is the same as the American "How are you?" .... it's a greeting, not a conversation initiation nor do they expect a true response on if you are alright.

  • @saltrock9642
    @saltrock9642 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    A smile and a wave makes both involved feel warm inside. Opening doors for someone shows kindness and that you’re not selfish. 🙂

    • @cynthiajohnston424
      @cynthiajohnston424 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      In the midwest , my husband & I have also offered to help folks load things into their car or truck if they appear to be struggling . We live in a small town so it's not a threatening thing to help a stranger - likely we know someone who knows someone who knows ... 🥰

    • @saltrock9642
      @saltrock9642 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      @ same for us down in south Louisiana. I live in a very rural parish where hugs, waves and helping your neighbor is done without thinking. It’s a reaction.

  • @mcmlxv9827
    @mcmlxv9827 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +6

    Midwestern small talk and waving is nothing compared to rural areas in the south. My mom would offer lemonade and something to eat to delivery drivers, like the mailman, UPS, Scwanns, etc. We are talking out in the middle of nowhere, in the hills of Tenn.

    • @cynthiajohnston424
      @cynthiajohnston424 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      In the midwest , it's often done as well . If I see the road crew working down our road in summer , I get iced tea ready to give out , cookies for delivery drivers & mail person during the holidays & cold drinks in summer , etc. While I was on a brief trip to town , our township road guys were repaving our road & one of the crew sat in the shade in our yard w/ our two dogs til the heavy equipment passed , keeping the dogs out of harms way . The crew was profusely thanked w/ homemade baked goods ! 🥰🐾🐾💙

  • @darcyjorgensen5808
    @darcyjorgensen5808 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +10

    This is all so true, but we don’t even think about it. Seriously, when was the last time you were in an elevator and no one spoke?

    • @cynthiajohnston424
      @cynthiajohnston424 9 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      In an elevator , it's fun to say something , just a bland remark , to break up the annoying silence . Results in interesting responses - a smile , a nod , a reply or even on rare occasions , a brief conversation ! 😂

    • @anonymes2884
      @anonymes2884 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Happens all the time in _lifts_ though :).

  • @nancyminton3064
    @nancyminton3064 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

    For sure, Southern goodbyes are in stages - we have one more, in which your handed some leftovers in a Kool Whip container with the re-heating instructions.

  • @Zach-ku6eu
    @Zach-ku6eu ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Just minutes ago, I was finishing the snow shoveling down my driveway. I'd noticed a n unfamiliar car repeatedly circling the neighborhood was now parked in front of my house.I've had many interactions wirh middle eastern men, as a veteran most were not cordial. *Regardless* I waved and asked if they were looking for an address. 'No, Son's Driver Training With The Snow' is what I gathered. 'Good Skill To Teach, Good Luck' *A pair of waves and smiles as they begin again*

    • @Zach-ku6eu
      @Zach-ku6eu ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      This happened only 48 hours after a meth addict tried to hide and fence jump throughout mine and my neighbors yards. My 'drill sergeant voice' terrifies civilians. Also wakes up every veteran neighbor for a city block! Set a perimeter with a minute and had police sweep the properties.

  • @akhagee4707
    @akhagee4707 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

    Front porch wave is not just a Midwestern thing... totally a southern thing too.
    And saying hello is not necessarily an invite to a conversation. It's to make sure you don't get looked at weird for making eye contact weirdly. If you never look at the people, you don't have to initiate the greetings.

  • @kylebarton778
    @kylebarton778 13 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    My favored "goodbye" is "I hope you have a great day!" It's usually met with a " Well thank you, I hope you do too!" It makes both of our days better. America is great. Semper Fi.

  • @andybearchan
    @andybearchan 19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +3

    My grandparents still stand on the pourch and wave as we drive away.

  • @spacecaptain9188
    @spacecaptain9188 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Just thought I'd point out that saying hello to people you have no intention of actually holding a conversation with is considered rude by many Americans, even in Chicago. This is especially true when you're a man, saying hello to a woman, who is wearing headphones, keeping her head down, engaging with someone/something else, or otherwise indicating that she does not wish to be bothered. Constant mental interruptions are stressful!

  • @margomoore4527
    @margomoore4527 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +4

    You especially wave at cars going by, in Texas, because not too many cars go by. Everyone is your neighbor. They tell you that in church!

  • @isaiah4216
    @isaiah4216 20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Truth. I was visiting friends in Nebraska. My arm nearly fell off from all the waving I did just driving from the airport to their home. I loved it!!!! We do that in DC, but not to that extent. Also, the never-ending goodbyes! Yes, yes, and yes! Visiting siblings, friends, and acquaintances. It does not matter. The famous clapping of hands, fist bumping the tabletop, or your leg and then standing and stretching; with the well, we better be heading out before it gets too dark. Then, the slow walk to get coats and pick up food containers (you never leave without a container of food or something; it's the law). The continued conversation with new topics popping up every 5 minutes. The final arrival to the front porch/stoop; the continuation of conversation for the next 30 to 45 minutes. The descent to the vehicle, the discussion in the driveway/street; 20 more minutes, handshakes and hugs all around, 5 more minutes of talk; finally, you get in the car, windows down, folks still surrounding your car, leaning in for another hug, kiss, or slap on the shoulder; 5 more minutes of talk (making sure you know how to get back to the main road). The slow back out, the slow drive away because you must tell them how much you love them and be safe, and call me when you get home. And then....... the actual driving away and honking the horn as you leave. Did I miss anything:????

  • @stephenhill3286
    @stephenhill3286 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +5

    You should see rural America, where you wave at everyone you drive by

  • @deborahmantha1080
    @deborahmantha1080 18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    As more and more "out-of-staters" moved into our rural Montana neighborhood during covid, I noticed that these new neighbors didn't wave when we passed eachother in our vehicles on our way to and from town. I decided to begin waving to every vehicle (a full wave if I knew them, a two-finger lift from the steering wheel if I didn't). Soon, people started waving back, and then even started waving first when they saw my car.

  • @titheproven954
    @titheproven954 22 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +16

    1:22 ....I-Is that an American accent? IS THAT WHAT WE SOUND LIKE TO YOU!

    • @nealkellytheoriginal
      @nealkellytheoriginal 21 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Like he's voicing a muppet. Not in the British meaning

    • @stephenevelyn1571
      @stephenevelyn1571 10 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      ​@@nealkellytheoriginal sounds like he belongs in Canada on the red green show.