Women need to have attraction. Men telling women that they don't need that type of connection are liars. However, attraction should not override character. You need both.
And so do men but more often than not, it's the females who prioritise being provided for than sexual attraction and sexual compatibility only for that to haunt them both later in life ,more so after having babies.
@@dhernandez7679most people do not date people they're actually sexually attracted to , they are together for every other reason ,as for the attraction part, it sort of builds.
Why do they do that ? I don’t understand! I was with my ex for 2 years and everything she described and what the man said I was going through ! No sex even when everything was all good ! We never really argued unless she said something disrespectful & didn’t wanna apologize & I would just ignore her after that ! We were good at doing things together kicking ppl ass, we could talk all night and watch shows and movies that we had a similar interest in…she even said the sex was good and ik bc I could make her cum at will ! We can’t even spend a weekend together or we would end up having sex. She said I had everything ! Why they waste our time than say that ?
@@32dramaqueen She controls his access to her body. The buck stops with her. Of course he's going to have sex with her - he's not a man of good character. The only thing she can change is her own actions.
It’s SO frustrating for people listening to these types of caller because - no matter how brilliantly Dr John advises her and no matter how much she agrees with him - you KNOW she will NEVER leave him. Grrrrrrr.
They are both absolutely wrong. It’s the complete opposite. When he was a gambling addict stealing from her … yes they broke up but she kept going back to sleep with him. The toxicity gives her excitement and tingles. NOW that he’s worked on himself and improved…he’s boring so that excitement is gone.
Not that she liked the stealing per se. It's the drama that kept her around. The toxicity kept her stimulated, and when it dissipated, so did her sexual attraction. This is the worst type of person to be with.
I love that DR. John talked about the other elements that go into sexual attraction in a relationship. I found out that the man I was deeply in love with for 7 years, as well as having the most incredible sex life with him the entire relationship, was telling other people Huge lies to impress them (that he had been a commercial airline pilot or that he had played hockey for a Canadian team). When I found out I felt like the the floor dropped out from underneath me. He and I talked about it and he didn't deny it. He had also borrowed money from me and when it came time to sign a promissory note, he tried to get out of it. We lasted another month trying to put things back together. I completely lost respect for him and my sexual attraction to him disappeared. Now, Respect is a Huge factor in whether I am sexually attracted to someone I date. If it's not there, and it takes time to find out, sex is not going to happen.
Yikes. I'm just another person online but I'm seriously proud of you for respecting yourself and leaving that. Not easy by any means, especially with an investment of 7 years.
I have come to the same conclusion. Respect and admiration for a man always turns into love, and love and s-x are inextricably linked in my hardwiring.
Yes and that develops over time. However, physical attraction is in a category all by itself and carries much weight. I'd say yes, physical attraction is absolutely necessary for the best chance of the relationship to sustain.
Safety net for what 😂 he gambles away here money. He's broke. She's not physically attracted to him. She didn't say not one positive thing about him. She basicly has no other options is what I'm speculating.
@@user_abcxyzzsafety net for being alone. It's amazing you think that he has nothing to offer but you literally describe women because you think men only offer money. Women offer nothing but themselves
She wasn’t ever attracted to him. First words out of her mouth was “he led me to believe he was better off financially than he actually was.” So she was willing to over look the lack of attraction in exchange for financial security. Then she realized he blows all his money gambling! Now he’s got some help and she’s debating being with him AGAIN. Unreal. This is totally unfair to this guy.
HE stole her money!!! How can you say SHE is using HIM?! I think she is trying to make it work since he is...but she has LOST RESPECT for him and once you've lost that, you can't get anything back...especially attraction. She should move on, definitely.
It's so important for all people to be able to be just as happy alone as they are, with another person. The world tells people they have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy & normal. Many people fight the adjustment to being content in their own company. The loneliness, fear, running to the arms of another person who might not be healthy. All of these are a product of a person fighting the adjustment to being alone. Maybe just for a year or so. It makes someone a stronger, wiser, more secure person with better discernment. Been there, did that. Life is good.
Actually, the world tells people to be happy alone or else they don't deserve a relationship. This leads to many people being lonely and depressed thinking there's something eating with them.
She can’t stand to be alone, just like most of the miserably married/partnered people in the world. She needs some self-awareness because this isn’t groundbreaking.
This guy needs to RUN !!!! He deserves better!!! Relationships are hard enough when you ARE sexually attracted to someone. Why be with someone you’re not into???
Tf you on about "erika" are you fking delusional or insane or something?? Did you somehow MISS the part that he stole from her?? All her money?? And had a gambling addiction?? In what does HE deserves better?? What she is doing is not even CLOSE to what he has done!! No she deserves to find someone who she is FULLY attracted to! Fully respects, feels safe with and who respects her too!! You are out of your fking mind justifying him!! Toxic af
I'm just listening to the rest of your talk show and I now think she needs to make a complete break from him and I mean for good , and stay single and get some serious therapy until she has her head in the place she needs to be 🥰 good luck sweet heart 😘😘😘
YES!!! As a man PHD intimacy is the primary method of connecting with our partner. If you’re not into him in no time you pull the “I’d be fine if I never had see again in my life” Middle Aged wife vibe.
He seems like a good friend, with mental health issues, who she hopes she can be attracted to again because he's there for her, but the trust is gone so he isn't.
I've lived in Las Vegas for 23 years. I worked in the nightclub scene for over a decade. And without knowing who this person is, I KNOW this person. I KNOW her boyfriend. What I mean by that -- A Vegas cocktail waitress who's priority in dating/finding a financially well-off man (when describing him to Dr. John the first thing she brings up is him leading her on about his finances.) The guy she is talking about is probably a nightclub host who gets into gambling (very typical). Jesus Christ this is such a stereotypical Las Vegas nightlclub industry "relationship". I'm sure that she is leaving out A LOT of information, especially concerning HER own faults. And I will guarantee that his side of the story is way different. Neither right, neither wrong. Las Vegas dating in the Nightlife industry really should be a reality show of some sort; it's fucking bonkers and definitely not "healthy". In my 11 years working in the Vegas nightclub industry I had quite a few "relationships" like this one. I got out of the Nightlife industry in 2013 and I haven't dated or had a girlfriend since then. And I really don't think it is a coincidence that the greatest, happiest, and most stress-free decade of my life has been 2013-present.
Yep, typical Vegas club girl fucking the exciting club degenerate until she realizes he's not only not rich, but also boring now that he cleaned up his life.
When there is attraction, not just a doorway labeled attraction, there are levels. Soul levels are indescribable by words. You couldn't even be friends, first.
What I am hearing here is that this guy is simply an emotional tampon for her. She probably goes out and parties with the bad guy that she's all excited to be with, and when those flings die, she goes back to him to help her pick up the pieces.
Men a rule to follow. Unless a girl is totally in love with you and attracted to you, never marry her. The feeling of being with a woman who's crazy in love with you is one of the best. The way she treats you, the respect, what she does with you in bed. Even if you're desperate never be a woman's second option
@@BarestTruthsit’s not ridiculous. It Does Happen!! But people still love each other even if they may struggle with their attraction! My husbands grandfather used to paint the mirrors with white paint from the chest down because neither one of them wanted to see themselves in the mirror in their 80s.
I know a guy who is divorced and dating. He got involved with a girl who turned out to be an alcoholic. He was complaining about the amount of her drinking and surprise surprise, she's trying hard and she stopped it. Now he is annoyed with her and finds her less attractive. I was like 🤷🏼♀️ he doesn't want to leave her but is annoyed by her being sober and "she ruined alcohol for him" because she doesn't party like before 😂 I was wondering if he ever was in love with her or her being an addict?😢
if you love your partner it doesn't matter, my boyfriend don't find me physical attractive because of my skin condition but we still do what most couples do, everything works and a lot of cuddles everyday, we will marry pretty soon and i don't care what others say, love isn't perfect or excited but meaningful and forever
@user-ip4wy1ib7n just super weak connective tissue, elasticity problem since childhood so it doesn't look normal for my age, either I have to workout hard to maybe fix it or surgery but I don't give up
The relationship probably *could* work if she was willing to work through the forgiveness and trust issues she has. Using him for sex and validation without being totally honest will definitely not work!
This title is misleading, she appears to only be physically attracted to him, ergo she's still hooking up with him despite him not having his stuff together, she's simply questioning whether or not she should continue doing this because physically attraction is not enough, however it's clear she's mainly physically attracted to him otherwise why put yourself through this?
@@Shaara1its not necessary to be attracted to someone to have s.. As latino man i was a cheater before and i remember visiting my ex gf even when sometimes i didnt want to see her and just wanted to be alone. But, to maintain the contact i still had s.. with her to make her happy. At the end is a kind of duty not to hurt the other one.
@@razorblade413 I get that. But she feels she needs to be attracted to somebody sexually, after break up, to continue to have sex. She can't stand his lifestyle, sex is no good, they gone their separate ways. I just feel it's not her real question, since she has no duty towards this guy anymore. Never had, why now? To me she is either crazy or a liar.
A man that I have 0 attraction to a guy has been trying to date me for the past 11 yrs. It's absolutely necessary that I am attracted to someone in order to date them. He thinks this is something that can be built over time, but that's not how I operate..
They are not married, they lived together for a while. NOPE on a gambling issue. What he did was theft, he stole her money to gamble it. THAT right there is a NO. Attraction including at least some physical/sexual is important, don't use the guy as a placeholder, that's a terrible thing to do if she really cares about what happens to him. She definitely needs to end things entirely and grow up. If she can't keep it at friendship ONLY she needs to let him go as a friend as well.
As a woman in her 40s, yes, yes yes! Very Normal!!! You couldn't pay me to go back. It was just playing house except lawyers get involved eventually. Gah!
I’m 30, no kids yet, never been married and I still don’t want a joint bank account or to share a home with someone. My partner and I have agreed that legal marriage is not appealing to either of us and while he wants us to live together at some point, I’ve expressed that I always want my own space.
It's probably not normal or healthy but I really wanna have 2 separate tiny houses on wheels next to each other, if we break up one of us can just haul our house away 🤣
John is correct. I lose sexual attraction (and gain) by knowing someone and they treat me right. I was very sexually attracted to my ex however he treated me quite poorly and was/is a serious alcoholic. No matter how hot and sexy he is - I just remember the bad stuff and the thought of even speaking to him disappears. sounds like this girl is younger and needs to gain more self-worth. set boundaries and stick to them. Because I did that - my ex and I are done. And my guess is - she didn't set boundaries from day one so he did whatever he wanted. you have to be firm. my new guy - taking it slow - and I am setting boundaries. they guy meant for you will respect them. if not - BYE
Summary: We were friends He told me he was wealthy, so then we dated He conned me and stole my money to feed his gambling addiction Now he says hes wealthy again and doesnt gamble Anyways hes ugly so should I date him cause hes my fall back guy??? The level of delusion in this call! She needs therapy for her childhood trauma before she dates anyone ever again!!!
Sonetimes some women become bored and will enter a relationship with a guy they dont like, nor attracted. Because they are bored, or do not want to exert effort to date other people or they just want to feel they have a " boyfriend" just for the status of it to say to friends and family.
I don't get why does she mind not being attracted to him? They broke up. That's how it should be. She is sooo unattracted that she wants to sleep with him even when she doesn't have to anymore.
It does seem weird that she led the call by saying she thought he was well off. Sounds like she probably wasn’t attracted to him from the start, just the thought of him being rich.
Hes being a little dramatic about her "using him." She likely cares about him deeply and wants the relationship to work. Hes a consenting adukt, no need to infantilize him. Because of her abandonment issues, she has difficulty processing her emotions and accepting that they are incompatible. Neither of them are at fault.
There is also another side. If him being the way he was caused a loss of attraction, then him being a new man can bring a renewed attraction. I say give it a chance if there was once attraction.
Better find out before then after marriage. Put all your cards on the table before you marry. Let each other see the good and bad PLEASE! Then if each one can accept the others good and bad?then marry. But if someone has a deal breaker? Then break up and walk away befo you marry! The problem is WAY TO MANY hide their bad stuff and it comes back with a vengeance after marriage.that is deception! Not a good way to start a marriage .
I relate to this girl so much. Except it's not a Daddy issue for me; long story short my husband died and I feel abandoned by him. After being completely honest and telling this guy that I don't see a future with him, he convinced me to let him continue to take me out. This guy obviously has deeper issues that he's using me as a band-aid for and I'm using him like John told her, to play house in the absence of my husband. Every time I try to end things he begs to compromise and currently we're just friends. I DO resent myself, I feel filthy! At the same time I feel sorry for this guy who truly needs more than the band-aid I provide. I feel sorry for me too. Eventually I'll be strong enough to cast him away for good. I know that in the end a "friendship" like ours is not healthy.
I don’t get why she broke up with him but still hung out and slept with him and then said she wasn’t attracted, if she wasn’t attracted wouldn’t she just move on?
Umm, why not just stay single, & have friends? Why would you want a relationship boyfriend/girlfriend, if it isn't leading towards romance & physical expression?
She's going back to him for security and he's settling for her even though she doesn't love him. Both need to put their big girl/boy pants on and walk away.
Gamblers are the worst liars, lol. Don't trust them while they drain your bank account. I have never known one that can give up. They just get better at lying.
Doesn’t mean that at all. If I asked someone how much they made so we know what we’re working with when combining incomes for our future, if he were to lie that would be a HUGE issue. Doesn’t mean she’s with him for that at all.
@@iRRichiee because that’s an issue. He stole money from her. If I found out my significant other was stealing from me or gambling all his money away/keeping secrets I would lose all sexual attraction towards him. Often works the same way for a man. Women often need trust to be sexually vulnerable/attracted to someone. They don’t have that bc of his actions. Very simple.
I do find it annoying when women say "like" excessively as well. At a certain point you have to move beyond Clueless level vocabulary. This isn't the 90's any more, ladies.
If you truly loved someone, you would want them to have a fulfilling sexual relationship. She doesnt realise that staying with him when shes not attracted to him is actually being very disrespectful and humiliating him.
Women love friendzoning, ghosting, leading men on, using men as a space holder, for attention or for finances. As someone who's been there it is the worst feeling in the world. A cardinal rule never chase or pursue them. If she ghosts you don't go after. If she's hot/cold walk away. If she has any mental illness run for the hills. If she has a lot of child hood trauma walk away. If she's leading you on or not attracted to you or has you second guessing everything she isn't in to you. If she's in a bad place in her life and u think rescuing her from eviction, rehab, or accepting her kids will win her love you're in for a rude awakening. This only happens in fairytales and movies. As someone who was on the receiving end i've learned its better to walk away and salvage any respect that u have for yourself. The longer u entertain it the more damaged you will be.
@@SashaLawrence-ns3vv In this day and age. We have to speak in generalities. I've heard and seen this happen to so many men. Its a reoccuring theme esepecially with dating. I've seen girls use men for dates with no intentioning of getting to know them just for free food. A woman went viral for not doing grocery shopping beecause she was on multiple dates. It's not the 1900s anymore. The jig is up.
Men do the same damn thing just to get laid lol it’s the end of the world when women act that way though 😂 You may claim yourself to be a “good guy” but you as a guy should know who does the lying, friend zoning and leading on the most.
You don't think men use women? Alot of the times it's to satisfy their need for physical gratification and nothing more. You want to talk about self humiliation and feeling worthless, that's the bottom of the barrell. Luckily I learned and started making better choices for myself. I also stayed away from toxic relationships like this.
@@SashaLawrence-ns3vv As human beings we have to talk in generalities. We don't form conclustions based on minorities and anomalies! + i'm not gay i only deal with women. So, my perspective is dealing with women.
Sadly, you are right for the majority of women. I'm a woman so I have the inside track. I never did feel like this myself, but I'm older now and I've seen women only go for the gold. Satin sheets all the way for them (it's an old country song about this very thing).
He's taking it personally that she's not attracted to her guy. Something behind that for him to be reacting to her like he is, he's kind of getting a thrill out of cutting her down.
Women need to have attraction. Men telling women that they don't need that type of connection are liars. However, attraction should not override character. You need both.
It’s still a crucial part of the pie. It shouldn’t be the only thing that matters but it does need to be a part of the pie.
Wtf are you talking about? No man has ever said women don't need to be attracted to a man. You losers just blame men for all your bad decisions
And so do men but more often than not, it's the females who prioritise being provided for than sexual attraction and sexual compatibility only for that to haunt them both later in life ,more so after having babies.
@@dhernandez7679most people do not date people they're actually sexually attracted to , they are together for every other reason ,as for the attraction part, it sort of builds.
Yup! Biggest lie men love to tell themselves.
Gambling problem, stealing money and wasting it? If my partner did that, it’s over, 100%. Nothing else to consider.
💯
You have a point of view of abundance
She’s in the wrong!!!!
Stop sleeping with someone you are not attracted to. You are leading him on and you both need to leave the other alone.
Why do they do that ? I don’t understand! I was with my ex for 2 years and everything she described and what the man said I was going through ! No sex even when everything was all good ! We never really argued unless she said something disrespectful & didn’t wanna apologize & I would just ignore her after that ! We were good at doing things together kicking ppl ass, we could talk all night and watch shows and movies that we had a similar interest in…she even said the sex was good and ik bc I could make her cum at will ! We can’t even spend a weekend together or we would end up having sex. She said I had everything ! Why they waste our time than say that ?
Agreed!!
I disagree. She comes back to him, but he keeps allowing it while he sees that it goes nowhere. The fault is 50/50
@@32dramaqueen She controls his access to her body. The buck stops with her. Of course he's going to have sex with her - he's not a man of good character. The only thing she can change is her own actions.
It’s SO frustrating for people listening to these types of caller because - no matter how brilliantly Dr John advises her and no matter how much she agrees with him - you KNOW she will NEVER leave him. Grrrrrrr.
I agree...and all the goofy laughing is irritating.
She’s using him and that is sick!!! 🤢 She is NOT being transparent.
I took it as both nervous laughter and laughter at herself, not from humor but because she knows she's messed up
They are both absolutely wrong. It’s the complete opposite. When he was a gambling addict stealing from her … yes they broke up but she kept going back to sleep with him. The toxicity gives her excitement and tingles. NOW that he’s worked on himself and improved…he’s boring so that excitement is gone.
That's sick
Are you suggesting sge liked when he was stealing from her?
@@ChrisAndCatsyes because it added excitement and drama to her life. Otherwise she wouldn’t be going back..
Not that she liked the stealing per se. It's the drama that kept her around. The toxicity kept her stimulated, and when it dissipated, so did her sexual attraction. This is the worst type of person to be with.
🎯🎯🎯
If you’re not attracted to the guy, it’s not going to work. Otherwise, love making will become a chore
I love that DR. John talked about the other elements that go into sexual attraction in a relationship. I found out that the man I was deeply in love with for 7 years, as well as having the most incredible sex life with him the entire relationship, was telling other people Huge lies to impress them (that he had been a commercial airline pilot or that he had played hockey for a Canadian team). When I found out I felt like the the floor dropped out from underneath me. He and I talked about it and he didn't deny it. He had also borrowed money from me and when it came time to sign a promissory note, he tried to get out of it. We lasted another month trying to put things back together. I completely lost respect for him and my sexual attraction to him disappeared. Now, Respect is a Huge factor in whether I am sexually attracted to someone I date. If it's not there, and it takes time to find out, sex is not going to happen.
Yikes. I'm just another person online but I'm seriously proud of you for respecting yourself and leaving that. Not easy by any means, especially with an investment of 7 years.
bingo! respect is key.
I have come to the same conclusion.
Respect and admiration for a man always turns into love, and love and s-x are inextricably linked in my hardwiring.
“If a woman is not sleeping with you, she likely doesn’t respect you.”
"Attraction involves agreeableness, it involves character, it involves safety."
Plenty of men who have none of these gets laid all the time, and plenty of men who have all of these goes without. So, no.
Yes and that develops over time. However, physical attraction is in a category all by itself and carries much weight. I'd say yes, physical attraction is absolutely necessary for the best chance of the relationship to sustain.
Did you read this somewhere? A book? Very good quote 👌
@@Christifit406 Thank you! This is actually from the video.
I heard that too and agree 💯!
That's the worst when someone is perfect in every way except no sexual attraction.
that makes them imperfect.
If someone is perfect in every way, I wood be sexually attracted to him
@@roathripperwhat op was saying is that they are perfect in every OTHER way, but not perfect in that one way
@@SarahConnor562 sounds more like a brother or a friend
Sound a like a woman problem
I absolutely love how he gets to the heart of the matter. It’s very impressive gift.
I don’t find that compelling. ‘It’s about your father’. He shouldn’t say he knows that 100%. Possibly.
I’m not just talking about this video… In general he finds the deeper issue behind the actual issue.
He's her safety net and it's not fair to him. She needs to let him go.
Safety net for what 😂 he gambles away here money. He's broke. She's not physically attracted to him. She didn't say not one positive thing about him. She basicly has no other options is what I'm speculating.
@@user_abcxyzz that's exactly what safety net means lol He's the fall back. I wasn't referring to money.
@@user_abcxyzzsafety net for being alone. It's amazing you think that he has nothing to offer but you literally describe women because you think men only offer money. Women offer nothing but themselves
@@user_abcxyzzemotional safe net i think.
@razorblade413 it's a false sense of security. She's insecure. He can never fix that. It's her own personal issue to address.
Poor child. I’m glad she got some good advice. Sometimes you just don’t know until someone tells you straight up
She wasn’t ever attracted to him. First words out of her mouth was “he led me to believe he was better off financially than he actually was.” So she was willing to over look the lack of attraction in exchange for financial security. Then she realized he blows all his money gambling! Now he’s got some help and she’s debating being with him AGAIN. Unreal. This is totally unfair to this guy.
Bull's-eye, 100% agreed.
HE stole her money!!! How can you say SHE is using HIM?! I think she is trying to make it work since he is...but she has LOST RESPECT for him and once you've lost that, you can't get anything back...especially attraction. She should move on, definitely.
Shes lonely and desperate, he's her fallback guy, period end of story.
Yup. No options. If he's her best option....wow. good luck lady.
I tend to agree, while realizing that we are both speculating.
It's so important for all people to be able to be just as happy alone as they are, with another person. The world tells people they have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy & normal.
Many people fight the adjustment to being content in their own company. The loneliness, fear, running to the arms of another person who might not be healthy.
All of these are a product of a person fighting the adjustment to being alone. Maybe just for a year or so. It makes someone a stronger, wiser, more secure person with better discernment.
Been there, did that. Life is good.
Actually, the world tells people to be happy alone or else they don't deserve a relationship. This leads to many people being lonely and depressed thinking there's something eating with them.
Wtf? He’s your back up guy? You don’t trust him, you’re not attracted to him like what are you getting at lady?
She can’t stand to be alone, just like most of the miserably married/partnered people in the world. She needs some self-awareness because this isn’t groundbreaking.
Yes. End it. You can't negotiate desire
Oh thank God....I read the title and thought my wife called in for a second!
😂😂😂
Hahaha. Nice. 😅
😂😂😂😂😂wow😅😅😅😅😢
😂😂😂
She only likes him for what he can provide her. She is the textbook definition of it.
Sometimes it’s too late All the negative things that they have done prior just kills all desire There’s no going back
This guy needs to RUN !!!! He deserves better!!!
Relationships are hard enough when you ARE sexually attracted to someone. Why be with someone you’re not into???
He’s a thief lol, he should have been sent to jail
@@stonecake313she should have broke it off for good after he stole from her for sure
Tf you on about "erika" are you fking delusional or insane or something??
Did you somehow MISS the part that he stole from her?? All her money?? And had a gambling addiction??
In what does HE deserves better??
What she is doing is not even CLOSE to what he has done!!
No she deserves to find someone who she is FULLY attracted to! Fully respects, feels safe with and who respects her too!!
You are out of your fking mind justifying him!! Toxic af
I'm just listening to the rest of your talk show and I now think she needs to make a complete break from him and I mean for good , and stay single and get some serious therapy until she has her head in the place she needs to be 🥰 good luck sweet heart 😘😘😘
Good job Delony on calling out her part in this.
YES!!! As a man PHD intimacy is the primary method of connecting with our partner. If you’re not into him in no time you pull the “I’d be fine if I never had see again in my life” Middle Aged wife vibe.
She's a gem, he takes her money and gambles it away, breaks up, then continues to sleep with him, bravo, bravo 👏
She's a turd
Dude is a chad
..and she is worried about not being sexually attracted to him. After they broke up. What if he was her type?!
He seems like a good friend, with mental health issues, who she hopes she can be attracted to again because he's there for her, but the trust is gone so he isn't.
Women love bad boys.
He’s the back up guy. The safety physical partner.
I've lived in Las Vegas for 23 years. I worked in the nightclub scene for over a decade. And without knowing who this person is, I KNOW this person. I KNOW her boyfriend. What I mean by that -- A Vegas cocktail waitress who's priority in dating/finding a financially well-off man (when describing him to Dr. John the first thing she brings up is him leading her on about his finances.) The guy she is talking about is probably a nightclub host who gets into gambling (very typical).
Jesus Christ this is such a stereotypical Las Vegas nightlclub industry "relationship". I'm sure that she is leaving out A LOT of information, especially concerning HER own faults. And I will guarantee that his side of the story is way different. Neither right, neither wrong. Las Vegas dating in the Nightlife industry really should be a reality show of some sort; it's fucking bonkers and definitely not "healthy". In my 11 years working in the Vegas nightclub industry I had quite a few "relationships" like this one. I got out of the Nightlife industry in 2013 and I haven't dated or had a girlfriend since then. And I really don't think it is a coincidence that the greatest, happiest, and most stress-free decade of my life has been 2013-present.
Was going to say exactly this. She was fucking the exciting club degen, and then got bored when he cleaned up his life.
Yep, typical Vegas club girl fucking the exciting club degenerate until she realizes he's not only not rich, but also boring now that he cleaned up his life.
When there is attraction, not just a doorway labeled attraction, there are levels. Soul levels are indescribable by words. You couldn't even be friends, first.
What I am hearing here is that this guy is simply an emotional tampon for her. She probably goes out and parties with the bad guy that she's all excited to be with, and when those flings die, she goes back to him to help her pick up the pieces.
I don't think the guy who stole from her to finance his gambling addiction qualifies as the typical nice backup guy lmao
As long as the pieces he's picking up aren't more of her coins
How she can sleep with him after she found out he stole from her is beyond me.
Men a rule to follow. Unless a girl is totally in love with you and attracted to you, never marry her.
The feeling of being with a woman who's crazy in love with you is one of the best. The way she treats you, the respect, what she does with you in bed.
Even if you're desperate never be a woman's second option
Agreed and vice versa
Is it still the best feeling if the guy doesn’t feel the same love for her as she does for him, though?
Serious question…
@@lifeobstaclewarrior2685 no really. Because we want to be loved by those we love
When people get old im sure your not attracted to each other physically. Still there is love
But why though?
Yeah but that's after being married for years, not for new young couple. Come on now.
Why do you assume people aren’t physically attracted to their partner as they age? What a ridiculous sentiment.
@@BarestTruthsit’s not ridiculous. It Does Happen!! But people still love each other even if they may struggle with their attraction! My husbands grandfather used to paint the mirrors with white paint from the chest down because neither one of them wanted to see themselves in the mirror in their 80s.
That's for long term couples.
I know a guy who is divorced and dating. He got involved with a girl who turned out to be an alcoholic. He was complaining about the amount of her drinking and surprise surprise, she's trying hard and she stopped it. Now he is annoyed with her and finds her less attractive. I was like 🤷🏼♀️
he doesn't want to leave her but is annoyed by her being sober and "she ruined alcohol for him" because she doesn't party like before 😂
I was wondering if he ever was in love with her or her being an addict?😢
Talk about self-inflicted problems…
The attraction goes way beyond just the outside appearance
if you love your partner it doesn't matter, my boyfriend don't find me physical attractive because of my skin condition but we still do what most couples do, everything works and a lot of cuddles everyday, we will marry pretty soon and i don't care what others say, love isn't perfect or excited but meaningful and forever
@user-ip4wy1ib7n just super weak connective tissue, elasticity problem since childhood so it doesn't look normal for my age, either I have to workout hard to maybe fix it or surgery but I don't give up
The relationship probably *could* work if she was willing to work through the forgiveness and trust issues she has.
Using him for sex and validation without being totally honest will definitely not work!
He would need to do some *major* ass kissing for that, after gambling away all her money.
The guy better run… when someone isn’t physically attracted to their partner, it’s a recipe for disaster
They guy sounds like a sucker like most men and will be used and tossed aside when she finds someone better.
I love that you called this girl out. Yes have more self respect girl lol
Stop giving your body to someone you don’t even like
None of my romantic partners have I found physically attractive. I am attracted to intelligence and how you treat me as a person.
Searching for Good looking would leave a lot of women unmarried or with low quality men simply for looks.
So how do you want to have sex with them? Just curious?
"Dating in Vegas is horrendous"
And I'm sure you're not part of the problem, honey.
How can you still f*ck with someone that steal from you? That’s disgusting
This title is misleading, she appears to only be physically attracted to him, ergo she's still hooking up with him despite him not having his stuff together, she's simply questioning whether or not she should continue doing this because physically attraction is not enough, however it's clear she's mainly physically attracted to him otherwise why put yourself through this?
She said she doesn't like hooking up with him about halfway through the video 😬
@@ijustneedmyselfShe lied, because she keeps going back for more even when she doesn't have to.
@@Shaara1 Maybe she does it because she's so attatched and knows he will leave if she doesn't? Do not know
@@Shaara1its not necessary to be attracted to someone to have s.. As latino man i was a cheater before and i remember visiting my ex gf even when sometimes i didnt want to see her and just wanted to be alone. But, to maintain the contact i still had s.. with her to make her happy.
At the end is a kind of duty not to hurt the other one.
@@razorblade413 I get that. But she feels she needs to be attracted to somebody sexually, after break up, to continue to have sex. She can't stand his lifestyle, sex is no good, they gone their separate ways. I just feel it's not her real question, since she has no duty towards this guy anymore. Never had, why now?
To me she is either crazy or a liar.
A man that I have 0 attraction to a guy has been trying to date me for the past 11 yrs. It's absolutely necessary that I am attracted to someone in order to date them. He thinks this is something that can be built over time, but that's not how I operate..
Sounds like you still enjoy the attention he gives you.
They are not married, they lived together for a while. NOPE on a gambling issue. What he did was theft, he stole her money to gamble it. THAT right there is a NO. Attraction including at least some physical/sexual is important, don't use the guy as a placeholder, that's a terrible thing to do if she really cares about what happens to him. She definitely needs to end things entirely and grow up. If she can't keep it at friendship ONLY she needs to let him go as a friend as well.
At 51 years old I don't want to get married again, live with a woman again, or have a joint bank account again. Is this normal? 😂
As a woman in her 40s, yes, yes yes! Very Normal!!!
You couldn't pay me to go back.
It was just playing house except lawyers get involved eventually. Gah!
I’m 30, no kids yet, never been married and I still don’t want a joint bank account or to share a home with someone. My partner and I have agreed that legal marriage is not appealing to either of us and while he wants us to live together at some point, I’ve expressed that I always want my own space.
I'm a woman and feel exactly the same way! Much happier on my own without drama!!!
Yes I'm in my 50's and 99 percent of the male population is just gross at home.
It's probably not normal or healthy but I really wanna have 2 separate tiny houses on wheels next to each other, if we break up one of us can just haul our house away 🤣
When she said she kept going back because “I know HE really loves ME”…that was telling
Hello Amy, just let Ty go and stopping abusing him. (Heartland series)
I just want to say sexual attraction is absolutely not necessarily for a relationship, but trust and communication are
John is correct. I lose sexual attraction (and gain) by knowing someone and they treat me right. I was very sexually attracted to my ex however he treated me quite poorly and was/is a serious alcoholic. No matter how hot and sexy he is - I just remember the bad stuff and the thought of even speaking to him disappears. sounds like this girl is younger and needs to gain more self-worth. set boundaries and stick to them. Because I did that - my ex and I are done. And my guess is - she didn't set boundaries from day one so he did whatever he wanted. you have to be firm. my new guy - taking it slow - and I am setting boundaries. they guy meant for you will respect them. if not - BYE
Summary:
We were friends
He told me he was wealthy, so then we dated
He conned me and stole my money to feed his gambling addiction
Now he says hes wealthy again and doesnt gamble
Anyways hes ugly so should I date him cause hes my fall back guy???
The level of delusion in this call! She needs therapy for her childhood trauma before she dates anyone ever again!!!
Love is a choice
You can lose attraction for someone when you lose respect
Hold up. Wait a minute. SHE. Hooked up with him many many times and NOW shes not physically attracted? What do women want. She is to blame, not him.
He's boring now. Women love uncertainty.
Sonetimes some women become bored and will enter a relationship with a guy they dont like, nor attracted.
Because they are bored, or do not want to exert effort to date other people or they just want to feel they have a " boyfriend" just for the status of it to say to friends and family.
I don't get why does she mind not being attracted to him? They broke up. That's how it should be.
She is sooo unattracted that she wants to sleep with him even when she doesn't have to anymore.
It does seem weird that she led the call by saying she thought he was well off. Sounds like she probably wasn’t attracted to him from the start, just the thought of him being rich.
Hes being a little dramatic about her "using him." She likely cares about him deeply and wants the relationship to work. Hes a consenting adukt, no need to infantilize him. Because of her abandonment issues, she has difficulty processing her emotions and accepting that they are incompatible. Neither of them are at fault.
Excellent call
Yeah you can definitely tell somebody loves and genuinely cares about you when they steal your money and gambles it and almost gets yall evicted😂
There is also another side. If him being the way he was caused a loss of attraction, then him being a new man can bring a renewed attraction. I say give it a chance if there was once attraction.
There are women out there you are just attracted to broken men
AS soon as I heard her speak, I knew she was one of those......
Yup
I'm afraid of being alone and I keep going back 😢
Better find out before then after marriage. Put all your cards on the table before you marry. Let each other see the good and bad PLEASE! Then if each one can accept the others good and bad?then marry. But if someone has a deal breaker? Then break up and walk away befo you marry! The problem is WAY TO MANY hide their bad stuff and it comes back with a vengeance after marriage.that is deception! Not a good way to start a marriage .
She's a walking red flag. With everything she said, I wonder what she left out.
American grown women who giggle incessantly are usually bad news.
This sounds heavy 🤸👍
This is the kind of thing that happens when you throw your body around before you have commitment....
I'm not attracted him but he pays all my bills. Life is so hard.
I relate to this girl so much. Except it's not a Daddy issue for me; long story short my husband died and I feel abandoned by him. After being completely honest and telling this guy that I don't see a future with him, he convinced me to let him continue to take me out. This guy obviously has deeper issues that he's using me as a band-aid for and I'm using him like John told her, to play house in the absence of my husband. Every time I try to end things he begs to compromise and currently we're just friends. I DO resent myself, I feel filthy! At the same time I feel sorry for this guy who truly needs more than the band-aid I provide. I feel sorry for me too. Eventually I'll be strong enough to cast him away for good. I know that in the end a "friendship" like ours is not healthy.
This question doesn’t need a session. The answer is always yes.
I don’t get why she broke up with him but still hung out and slept with him and then said she wasn’t attracted, if she wasn’t attracted wouldn’t she just move on?
You need to be attracted to the person your with if not you can fall into temptation and end up with someone else
Not true. You can be happily married and still face temptation
@@candyxoxo19less likely
I’m not sexually attracted to anyone. Does that mean I’ll never have a relationship?
My advice is just remain single or find someone who's not attracted to anyone either
There are people who aren't sexually attracted to others either! Find one of them and you'll hopefully be happy.
Umm, why not just stay single, & have friends? Why would you want a relationship boyfriend/girlfriend, if it isn't leading towards romance & physical expression?
@@mariatorres9789Good point!
Maybe you haven't found that right person. I personally think you're smart to wait before getting into something serious unlike what this woman did.
She's going back to him for security and he's settling for her even though she doesn't love him. Both need to put their big girl/boy pants on and walk away.
Gamblers are the worst liars, lol. Don't trust them while they drain your bank account. I have never known one that can give up. They just get better at lying.
I don't feel sorry for this woman at all. She needs to grow up and move on to a decent man (if she even knows what that means).
Women never grow up.
She admitted at the start of the relationship he led her to believe he had more money than he actually has; she’s only with him for money.
Doesn’t mean that at all. If I asked someone how much they made so we know what we’re working with when combining incomes for our future, if he were to lie that would be a HUGE issue. Doesn’t mean she’s with him for that at all.
@@Ciera_Bankswell then what does the gambling etc have to do with being sexually attracted or not?
@@iRRichiee because that’s an issue. He stole money from her. If I found out my significant other was stealing from me or gambling all his money away/keeping secrets I would lose all sexual attraction towards him. Often works the same way for a man. Women often need trust to be sexually vulnerable/attracted to someone. They don’t have that bc of his actions. Very simple.
The giggling and saying “like” every third word is too much, is she 12? She’s trying to be cute but it’s annoying. The guy needs to move on from her.
I'll say it again, I think it's a nervous reaction. Some people do this when they are in confronting situations.
I do find it annoying when women say "like" excessively as well. At a certain point you have to move beyond Clueless level vocabulary. This isn't the 90's any more, ladies.
Short answer...YEEEEES U BETTA END IT WOMAN
If you truly loved someone, you would want them to have a fulfilling sexual relationship. She doesnt realise that staying with him when shes not attracted to him is actually being very disrespectful and humiliating him.
Been the last guy on her roster before, it's a miserable feeling, better to be alone and have some dignity than accept that position.
He done work? He stole her money and always was using her for money. She's empty headed.
Playing musical chairs with people is quite Shady
She is the problem full stop
hes a thief and gambling addict and you want to blame her? LMFAO
He redeemed himself and became a better version of himself. There is no more drama to stimulate her.
@@doctorpostinghe changed, she didn’t. She is bad and should be locked up
I might have missed something.
They broke up but they keep having sex with eachother. And her question is, what to do to be sexually attracted to him?
"You're using him as a Xanax, and that's not fair!"
"I don't want to let her live with me or pay her bills"
if you wouldn't accept that then you know the answer to this one.
Him*
Yall need to chill out in these comments.
and I am a strong independent woman who need no man but I need a man to pay my bills because I cant let go even if I am not attracted to him! LOL
Caller is definitely attracted to Dr. John. Firstly. 😂you can hear it in her voice.
Its called having your cake and eating it to
Women love friendzoning, ghosting, leading men on, using men as a space holder, for attention or for finances. As someone who's been there it is the worst feeling in the world. A cardinal rule never chase or pursue them. If she ghosts you don't go after. If she's hot/cold walk away. If she has any mental illness run for the hills. If she has a lot of child hood trauma walk away. If she's leading you on or not attracted to you or has you second guessing everything she isn't in to you. If she's in a bad place in her life and u think rescuing her from eviction, rehab, or accepting her kids will win her love you're in for a rude awakening. This only happens in fairytales and movies. As someone who was on the receiving end i've learned its better to walk away and salvage any respect that u have for yourself. The longer u entertain it the more damaged you will be.
Broken women and Broken men . Dont talk yourself into generalising because you will block your blessings. 💫
@@SashaLawrence-ns3vv
In this day and age. We have to speak in generalities. I've heard and seen this happen to so many men. Its a reoccuring theme esepecially with dating. I've seen girls use men for dates with no intentioning of getting to know them just for free food. A woman went viral for not doing grocery shopping beecause she was on multiple dates. It's not the 1900s anymore. The jig is up.
Men do the same damn thing just to get laid lol it’s the end of the world when women act that way though 😂
You may claim yourself to be a “good guy” but you as a guy should know who does the lying, friend zoning and leading on the most.
You don't think men use women? Alot of the times it's to satisfy their need for physical gratification and nothing more. You want to talk about self humiliation and feeling worthless, that's the bottom of the barrell. Luckily I learned and started making better choices for myself. I also stayed away from toxic relationships like this.
@@SashaLawrence-ns3vv As human beings we have to talk in generalities. We don't form conclustions based on minorities and anomalies! + i'm not gay i only deal with women. So, my perspective is dealing with women.
The world is screwed. People are so messed up. She is just using him to cover up her own insecurities.
Damn, homeboys on the B team
Usually means she finds him boring.
See. Women don't value physical attraction. She cares he is financially stable. Money wins every time.
Sadly, you are right for the majority of women. I'm a woman so I have the inside track. I never did feel like this myself, but I'm older now and I've seen women only go for the gold. Satin sheets all the way for them (it's an old country song about this very thing).
@@texasrodeogirl3814Ms. Loretta Lynn
The amount of toxicity of this relationship on display in the first 5 min is kind of impressive.... not in a good way
✅✅✅
He's trying to trap her, because she is a source of money. Gambling is an addiction. Treat yourself with respect. How deeply in debt is he?
Ok, cool. It’s not my wife calling in 🎉
😂
He's taking it personally that she's not attracted to her guy. Something behind that for him to be reacting to her like he is, he's kind of getting a thrill out of cutting her down.
@@SarahConnor562bingo
This guy deserves better than her.