Commander Riker's Trying To Sell.....Some Type Of Crap...
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 พ.ย. 2009
- What the hell? The Enterprise Solution eh? Sounds like you're pitching a load of Number 2 there, Number One.
10/19/14 UPDATE!
Found out a little bit more about this commercial. Wilson Maffetano left a comment as well as a link detailing some of the specifics behind this. Very nifty. Essentially this was part of a series of promos that were distributed to potential customers. Nifty. Here's a link to see more.
trekcore.com/blog/2013/10/excl...
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TH-cam won't let me say this in the language I would prefer, so let's try it this way:
You're all a bunch of immoral, same-sex attracted, special "touched" in the head, individuals HA!
Uh...
Mega based ❤
@@Immortalrounin Based in ignorance and fear, sure.
Why were you talking to yourself in the mirror?
I just got here. what's going on?
No you can't, don't even try.
SHUT UP! As in close your mouth and stop talking!
I beg your pardon?!
One or both?! ;)
Will, I sense you are angry.
@@manco828 Deanna, back off.
If Riker appeared to me at work, I'd buy whatever he was selling
If Riker appeared to me at work, I'd have to stop taking acid before my shift.
you're wrong. This is fiction.
@@ladyofthesith1943 I’d double up on it.
Truly a terrifying depiction of an office worker's descent into madness.
Someone should edit this so that all the Riker bits are replaced with Harold talking to a blank screen.
@@TheFirefox Enterprise without Enterprise
But I'd rather dive into Gene Roddenberry's universe than, say, that of H P Lovecraft or J K Rowling.
Other actors have a sextape. Johnathan Frakes has this.
Haha.
Faceless Man Calling Sapphire & Steel. It's no longer just in photos. Now it's in youtube videos. _Every_ youtube video.
I thought when he had a fantasy he was talking about the holodeck
20 minutes later, it did...
No, Stefan, it's not Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's the next generation of information systems management. And what you just heard was the sound of your panties dropping, regardless of the fact that you do not wear them.
I think Riker forgot about the Prime Directive.
primitive man was never meant to manage their enterprise so efficiently, and without all the hassle.
Wisdom has to be earned, it must not be given away.
+winkoman3 How do you know he didn't invent the thing? ;)
Hahaha! Hope I wasn't the only one who got that :D
JediPolock
haha no, you're not the only one.
Riker’s rambling here honestly sounds more technobabbly to me than the actual technobabble from TNG
It all sounds very straight forward to me…
"Reroute through Cleveland."
Aka: "The Picard Maneuver."
lol
I think you mean the Harold Maneuver
Theory: Harold is Riker's ancestor, and Riker is trying to alter the timeline to make his family rich. Once they're rich they can buy Risa generations later and Riker can live there permanently.
But, they don't use money in the future. So, if this was Riker's plan, then it backfired.
@@dexoearth9167he'll invest in latenim
The UFP doesn't use money, Bolians, Ferengi and I believe private citizens do too, like freelance shuttle pilot Kassidy Yates, aka Mrs. Sisko #2.
The writers have always skirted the issue of whether or not the Federation uses currency. In "Encounter at Farpoint", Dr. Crusher finds a bolt of fabric she likes and tells the vendor to charge it to the Enterprise. In another episode, a merchant says he doesn't accept Federation credits. I believe that Federation officers don't get paid per se, but instead receive a stipend for service. The Federation has to have some type of shared currency to conduct trade between members and non-members; bartering is only going to get them so far.
@@joe9739Gold pressed latinum.
Temporal Investigations will be all over Riker for this.
It will still be Kirk's fault somehow. The man is a menace.
Well you gotta be more specific, which Enterprise are we talking here?
@@CathrineMacNiel No bloody A, B, C, or D.
Will will blame Tom, Tom will blame Will. It’s the perfect temporal crime.
"I can't alter history." While he's altering history...
It could be a self fulfilling loop
This works like "We must never interfere in other cultures" ; It gets said to have it on the record that the people in charge were distinctly not violating the rule they were in the middle of gratuitously demolishing down to atoms.... but when there is a review, they can say 'the record shows we were trying to follow the rules'.
Well, this is not any crap nor any ordinary commercial. I've worked for a multinational IT company in the 1990's and we used Boole & Babage's Enterprise System and it was really excepcional at the time. It allowed us to have full control on our network and solve many problems very easily. About this video, it's in fact part of a series of tapes which were distributed to potencial customers to evaluate their proposal. And B&B has even issued a special poster using the Enterprise-D plans to demonstrate how to improve one's business. I believe all this promotional stuff has not been public available...
Now that's some pretty cool info! Figured it was some type of non-public proposal, but was never able to find any info on it! I'll add some of your post to the description, as it actually makes sense relating to the video. Appreciate the knowledge!
Cool story bro, such a rivetting tale.
+Wilson Maffetano Glad that all worked out for you, seriously. Nonetheless, this promotional video sucks ass... and yet is mesmerizing and hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Frakes loves himself some shill.
+Wilson Maffetano Your company needs people like you. You have vision!
jeri ryan footjob
I love how they used TOS sound effects on a TNG set.
He's talking from one of the Enterprises when Worf's shuttle creates hundreds of realities. In this universe the Enterprise sells things to different worlds
I want a full series of inter dimensional salesman Riker, in a sorta dreamy weird Neil Gaiman sandman type thing
ALternatively this might be from the pocket universe Beverly created in “Remember Me” except Riker is the last one standing and not Bev.
So, this is the universe where the Ferengi took control of the universe!
Harold readily accepts that Riker is a real person from the future talking to him on his computer, but is amazed that he can locate the problem on their computer system in a matter of minutes
That's... canon, right?
It wouldn't be the oddest interaction with the 20th century
I said shut up as in shut your mouth! Lol
I beg your Pardon.
Riker was as deep in debt as he was as deep into freakish holodeck porn, and was blackmailed into highly unethical chrono-marketing by the Orion syndicate.
@@SMFCNA yes yess
"I can't alter history, but you can alter the future"
DEEP
That’s basically Picard’s speech in “A Matter of Time”
RASMUSSEN: If I were to influence you, everything in this sector, in this quadrant of the galaxy could change. History, my history, would unfold in a way other than it already has. Now what possible incentive could anyone offer me to allow that to happen?
PICARD: I have two choices. Either way, one version of history or another will wend its way forward. The history you know or another one. Now who is to say which is better? What I do know is here, today, one way, millions of lives could be saved. Now isn't that incentive enough?
RASMUSSEN: Everyone dies, Captain. It's just a question of when. All of those people down there died years before I was born. All of you up here, as well. So you see, I can't get quite as worked up as you over the fate of some colonists who, for me, have been dead a very, very long time.
PICARD: Of course, you know of the Prime Directive, which tells us that we have no right to interfere with the natural evolution of alien worlds. Now I have sworn to uphold it, but nevertheless I have disregarded that directive on more than one occasion because I thought it was the right thing to do. Now, if you are holding on to some temporal equivalent of that directive, then isn't it possible that you have an occasion here to make an exception, to help me to choose, because it's the right thing to do?
RASMUSSEN: We're not just talking about a choice. It sounds to me like you're trying to manipulate the future.
PICARD: Every choice we make allows us to manipulate the future. Do I ask Adrienne or Suzanne to the spring dance? Do I take my holiday on Corsica or on Risa? A person's life, their future, hinges on each of a thousand choices. Living is making choices. Now you ask me to believe that if I make a choice other than the one found in your history books, then your past will be irrevocably altered. *Well, you know, Professor, perhaps I don't give a damn about your past, because your past is my future and as far as I'm concerned, it hasn't been written yet.*
I would have watched an entire series of Riker helping this guy reroute through Cleveland rather than Discovery.
I also hate myself
I strongly disagree but I also laughed really hard so have my upvote!
*haha disco bad*
Am I funny yet?
@@CoralCopperHead Nope.
I think Harold was an ancestor or Riker and Riker was helping himself get rich.
Truly, a self-made man.
Time travel's funny that way.
There's no "money" in the 24th century though.
Addison Ford Except for all the money shown on DS9
Was Harold related to David Xanatos?
Riker. THE PRIME DIRECTIVE?!
Also, seeing how compatible the ship's systems were with that office computer, it implies they use a descendent of Windows. No wonder the crew of the Enterprise had technical issues every other episode.
Xepthrichros To be fair, the Enterprise might be running Wine or a Windows 3.1 VM.
It actually appears to be running OS/2. Which is hard to virtualize in our era, but technology's improved in the 24th century.
Those screens showed OS/2. Fun Fact OS/2 Warp got its name from Star Trek.
That doesn't imply that LOL
The Enterprise is shown to be able to interface with basically any computer ever, including (just to name a few “ancient” ones) the Iconian probe and the disk drives from the cryogenic satellite in “The Neutral Zone”. The Enterprise doesn’t run anything like current (or 90s) tech; it’s just so powerful and well-programmed that it can interface with anything, possibly by just brute forcing the encoding scheme
"If you don't buy the thing, I'll snap you back so hard..."
"...you'll think you're a first year cadet again"
Harold is having some kind of major breakdown
So this is what going crazy feels like.
Because that's the type of employee you want to be in a time of crisis, the numpty seeking tech support by having a Star Trek themed psychotic episode!
Oh and great use of TOS sound effects!
So i guess this was Riker punishment to be involved with the Pegasus incident
LOL
It's Tom Riker. And he gots to get paid.
Sisko: And I want you to not give him the death penalty
Dukat: *Plays video*
Sisko: *Shoots Riker*
Is Harold having a nervous breakdown induced by work stress?
he wasn't beamed onto the enterprise, he was being taken to a mental hospital
Yes. Mental Breakdown. That sounds exactly like something Temporal Investigations would believe...
... I mean something that could have happened.
Riker: Captain, I have a great idea for a new holodeck program.
Picard: I'm listening, Number One.
Riker: We create a scenario where an airline logistics office has an issue with their mainframe, and we discuss possible solutions to fix their problem with a plucky young go-getter named Harold.
Picard: *facepalm*
alternate title: Riker gets bored one day and takes the entire ship back in time to solve some random guy's problem for fun
That sounds like it should be an episode of Lower Decks.
By Grabthar's Hammer... What a savings.
Q did this to Harold, not Riker! Notice that the rest of the bridge is empty. Very rarely did this happen during the show's run. One example was when Data took it over in "Brothers."
The obvious conclusion is that Q decided to troll Harold but didn't want to do it himself, so appeared on the bridge of the Enterprise and asked for a volunteer. Picard objected to the distraction and so Q vanished him away, along with everyone else, except Riker. Q then told Riker that the shift's bridge crew was in a "penalty box"; if Riker didn't go along with the trolling, they'd all be sent to nothingness.
So, Riker, of course, went along with the shenanigans and successfully trolled Harold. The end.
+terminat1 I love you
Well, if you're a lady, how about a date then? :)
I'm not, sorry:(
Brilliant hahaha and the little conversation after 😊😂😊
Excellent explanation.
Can someone explain to me wtf I just watched.
I'm a bit annoyed at how many fans seem outraged at this. I'm a hardcore Trek fan and I think it's awsome they used this for a commercial. And a tech company at that, how very fitting. And to all you people saying Star Trek "sold out", get over yourselves. Considering Star Trek was a TV show which sought to get ratings, the whole "selling out" argument makes no sense. It may be hard for some fanboys to believe, but Paramount doesn't receieve funding from the United Federation of Planets to make the series. It's kinda fictional, to say the least.
Honestly, I'm damn impressed by Frakes' ability to deliver his lines with such sincerity in this situation. Compare that to that one clip of Patrick Stewart complaining about the script he's been given for some ad for an energy company (or was that the ad itself? can't remember).
It's cheesy, especially the out of focus appearance of the Enterprise on the guy's monitor. But, Frakes is a pro and he delivers. Or is it just that we could never distinguish his style of acting from a convention center business film promo in the first place?
@@davidc.2878 Star Trek is cheesy too
For the annoyed fans, it’s what happens when liberalism meets reality.
1980s video, TNG set, TOS sound effects, timeless sales pitch
So just how pissed would Picard be to find Harold in his chair?
+Koldeman And how high would his eyebrow be raised? I'd imagine he'd need a dozen Earl Grey's LOL.
He would've told Wesley to shut up...
Picard: "Number One, why is there a man from the 20th century in my command chair?!"
I must obtain the power of "MAIN VIEW".
Commander Riker I think your in clear violation of the Prime Directive.
Its Earth...
He's in violation of the Temporal Prime Directive, which supercedes the regular one.
Well Done! well done!
Live Long and Prosper fellow Trekkie.
***** They have room for interpretation but I'm sure "don't go saying 'hi, I'm from the future and I'm going to help you in accounting' to anyone" is a def NO-NO.
+Errin Pritchard Damn, someone else said it first. :)
+Errin Pritchard And in clear violation of professional acting 101. Take your eyes off the damn cue card, Frakes!
"Commander Riker, containment is failing! I'm reading an imminent warp core breach!"
"Recommendations?"
"We need to run an immediate subspace bypass!"
".."
"..through Cleveland?"
"That's what I like to hear, Geordi."
that dude is having a psychotic break
5:34 he said to nobody because the bridge is empty
hahahahaha
that close up of Riker from 5:15-5:20... there's a gif of that which is probably the best out of context shot of anything from the whole franchise.
I'm glad I played a small part in making meme gif history.
"Yes, this is Harold. Do it now."
Correction: "Yes, this is Harold. Make it so!"
Likely scenario: Frakes was blackmailed by someone from this company to help promote it. Frakes broke in to the studio one night and brought some intern cameraman to record this. They cleaned up after the 5 hour recording and no one ever knew the following day; that is until the day this was released.
like how they use TOS sound effects on TNG bridge. super professional
Wow, now this is relic from a by-gone era
Still a better love story than Twilight.
I was on the fence over whether to give you an upvote but the Scorpius(Harvey?) picture pushed me over the edge.
Taras Shevchenko Hahaha.... Yeah. Anything with Scorpy is awesome.
Right in the last thirty seconds we have:
1. Harold clumsily talking about living out a "fantasy".
2. Riker giving the biggest "I'm about to get freaky" smiles ever recorded as he abducts Harold.
3. Harold's boss describing him as a little strange...a little queer even.
And we end with Harold suggestively saying "oh wow" right as the enterprise enters warp.
LadyMizra so right!
Still not as bad as Shades of Gray
I don't think they said "Enterprise" enough times.
Which one? There are 5 Enterprises.
@@CathrineMacNiel 6
If this was in the early 90's, having a full video show up in broadcast quality on a computer monitor would amaze/shock anyone.
Having seen Star Trek: Generations, I can confirm the Enterprise-D does *not* have airbags.
Still better than Star Trek '09
JJ did a fine job. You went in expecting an instant legend.
JJ did a shit job. Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and an awesome cast pulled that shit up by their bootstraps.
i find it's easier to think of Star Trek '09 as a fan re-boot rather than a full fledged cannon film. Esp after re-examining the cast.
Thank you!
"What if instead of using time tested story telling structure, what if you set up a bunch of mysteries that you had no idea how to resolve? Instead of getting called out on it as a cheap marketing tactic worthy of 1930s film serials, I'll give a TED talk to make the idea sound cool and interesting. - JJ
"FUCKING PUT HIM IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING!" - The U.S. entertainment industry.
I watch this when I'm HIGH and it makes me feel GREEEEEAAAAAT!
LoL this is great. I like that they didn't get the rights to the music and that they're using sound effects from the original series :)
Hearing Riker say the words "Star Trek The Next Generation" is something else
"Warp nine ... engage!"
"Uh, sir, you didn't give us any coordinates ... ah, well, I'm sure we'll end up somewhere."
How did Paramount Studios allow this? This is THE Enteprise-D set.
Boole and Babage probably paid them to use it. Any owner of content can license their content to other people in return for money.
MONEEEEYYY!!! *throws it around* FILTHY MONEEEYY!! *rubs it up*
That's how.
In 1993, Boole & Babbage announced at the Computer Measurement Group annual conference that they had bought a two-year licence from Paramount Pictures to use Star Trek imagery in their advertising for COMMAND/Post and MainView for $75,000 a year.[4]
*1 phone rings*
"Somebody get those phones NOW!"
Just... look at how sincere this space dad is. He just wants Harold to do well.
Got to love Riker's charisma.
When I read the title, I was thinking something more along the lines of...
"Now Billy, you have vision, and we can enhance that vision using ecstasy."
This officially has broken something in my brain...
this is the greatist piece of shit i've ever found...
Why didn't they get Data to do this? He's a frigging android!
DarthRushy
Because Data is a responsible crew member and sticks to the Prime Directive... unlike Riker... :D
Jonathan is such a good actor in this that I almost missed seeing him read off of the cue cards!
WHAT. AM I WATCHING.
I can just picture Harold doing his best Sisko imitation after being on the enterprise '' IT'S REAL, IT'S REAL, DON'T YOU SEE IT'S REAL''
That ate a bit of my soul.
_TURBOLIFT NOISE_
Picard: Numbah one what are you doing on the bridge by yourself
Riker: *uhhhhhh...*
No Harold, the Enterprise does not have drivers side airbags, but it does have inirtial dampeners
They just fucking kidnapped Harold! All he wanted to do was restore the company's system, but he was never seen again.
But hey he requested asylum :^)
Riker violates the Prime Directive and trolls pre-warp civilizations while the Enterprise is in drydock xD
20 years later and Harold is CEO of that company. Thank you Commander Riker!
I laughed at the cheesy MIDI music and laughed even more at the TOS sound effects when Riker pressed buttons on the panel.
Hey people! Here's a type of specialized operating system that will put most of you out of work!
It's just OS/2 you fuck.
Actually, this technology is exactly what we're all still trying to find today.
I think they did a good job of using the way they talk and solve problems on the show to talk about their product.
I think it would be really funny if it took a dark turn with Commander Riker telling the dude to kill his boss.
I'm as big a Trekkie as any other, but that was so strange I seriously had no freaking clue what I was watching. If I was one of those "out there", "cards missing from the deck" Trekkie, I'm sure I'd have had an out of body experience. You know, seeing the proof it's all real!! (before reading the background info)
This makes me think of the believe it or not urban legend show Jonathan Frakes hosted. He is playing the Jonathan Frakes host character not Com. Riker except he is in the star fleet uniform
So they paid for the uniforms, the ship footage, the use of the bridge, the trademarked character name and show title, and Jonathan Frakes, but someone said "Pay for the actual STAR TREK theme? What are we, made of money?!?!? No way!"
Starfleet meets capitalism. An interesting concept considering that people on the 24th century thought that capitalism was an archaic mentality and societal norm.
Holy shit! I'm scared! I just peed my pants...
But now I'm laughing at my urine soaked boxers, causing me to throw up a little in my mouth. Or is that blood? What's that copper taste mean? My head hurts, and I just lost sight in one eye.
Go to hell, BeholdMyStrength. I love you.
LOL, token ring...
Upvote if you think this works better as Enterprise's series finale instead of the actual one.
If I ever get a time machine this has inspired me to go troll a blacksmith from the Middle Ages.
Boole and Babbage? I see what you did there!
harold forgot to take his meds..
the stress has finally gotten to him and he starts seeing the Enterprise.
"Doing more with less." LOL, why am i not surprised.
Wait, so this is a real commeral?
Well, this is not any crap nor any ordinary commercial. I've worked for a multinational IT company in the 1990's and we used Boole & Babage's Enterprise System and it was really excepcional at the time. It allowed us to have full control on our network and solve many problems very easily. About this video, it's in fact part of a series of tapes which were distributed to potencial customers to evaluate their proposal. And B&B has even issued a special poster using the Enterprise-D plans to demonstrate how to improve one's business. I believe all this promotional stuff has not been public available...
Recommendation, don't use token ring.
Check the comment from the guy above, Wilson-something. This is from the 1990's, when Token Ring was not yet totally obsolete. But yes, that caught my eye at once.
Imagine if Riker was talking to somebody from Enterprise Car Rentals! 😂
"Commander, I've had this fantasy... It involves you, Risa, and whipped cream."
Why the fuck is Riker the only one on the bridge? WTF number one...
Prowly-b He just finnish killing and eating the rest of the crew. Now hes not only Number 1. He's now Only 1
+Prowly-b Because Frakes loves him some heaping piles of shill. Dood makes Ferengi's facepalm.
+Shayne O'Neill Damn, that cracked me up.
I think I was pretty drunk when I wrote that lol
This is horrifying.
Seriously! This reminded me of the episode where people kept disappearing and eventually it was just Crusher and Picard.
Also...how is it that Riker is aware of the Star Trek show?!?!
Consider the context: an early 90's tech company were such huge Star Trek fans that they paid a licensing fee and hired Jonathan Frakes to be in their TNG themed demo video. Other companies might have tried a cheesy Star Trek parody, but these guys went out and paid for the real thing. That's some real nerd aspiration right there
Commander Riker Trying to Hawk Some Crap
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
Watching this at 3:00 am hits different