Hey you guys :) You should definitely read the description, it explains this video! Dating across different borders is always fun (nerve-racking but fun). One of the number one questions I get asked about living in Germany is "what are German men like?". Hope this video shines a light on some of the differences between German men and USA men!!
I also have some female friends I mean "very very good friends for years" where I would never ever want to have sex with them..simply because that will destroy respectively totally change our fertilizing relationship respectively "friendship" which we have now...and I even don´t feel amourous in any way in their presence either..although they are pretty...at least in my view because as we all know tastes differ... And those girls where I had sex and an intimate relationship after we broke up it was always an very awkward situation when we met again or we didn´t see us again at all...
@@michaelgrabner8977 It's not so weird just imagine she stops beeing your girlfriend but starts to be some of your other friends girlfriend. She was ok before you were a couple, she will be the same after not beeing a couple anymore. Plus you can share shit about her with her new bf behind her back. Seen that many times. Works perfectly. Also it keeps strangers outside of your circle of friends.
@@TremereTT Ha, Ha, Ha I know those things which you told very well as well from the past ..but I don´t play games like this anymore...simply because I´m way too old for that kind of immature mindgames....it´s just truely a waste of time...I´m in the late 40ties now and I´m simply so to say "mind-settled"...so therefore because of my life-experience I´ve got a totally different approach to women now than I´ve got in the past... But I also have to say although I´m an old geezer now when I´m fresh shaved I look like a mid 30 year old guy respectively you won´t believe my age when you see me at all...simply nobody does...because my hair is still dark brown with no white or grey hair in between..and my skin got no wrinkles as well (at least till now) although it is all natural..and my height is 1,84 and I´m still slim and generally I´m looking not so bad I would say respectively I´ve still got a well groomed appearance....I simply got very good genes and that´s it...just saying.. and therefore even today some random young girls in the street or where ever who could be my daughters very often are giving me a random smile or the certain look not being aware of my actual age...And I would lie when I say that this wouldn´t be flattering...
@@emmaalvarez1794 Let me tell you that most German men do, too. Finding genuine, intelligent and sweet guys here that DON'T have sky high expectations is like digging for diamonds in the rough - just as much as it is in the U.S. ^^' And then that guy is probably in a relationship with your best friend 😂
😂 jinx! I thought same thing( but i have felt this way towards europeans in general(& other parts of world also). To be fair, there are some decent men in U.S. just like Ive encountered jerks in Germany and jerks from other countries also. But truth that we have plenty to work on here in the states, women included.
Yes! Finding regular friends is hard in Germany. Germans (male and female) have their close knit group of friends from university/school and they often don't let other people in :(
Here in the North, you just have to be around long enough and you'll find someone who'll introduce you into a "clique" or group of friends. It's just a thing you have to work on active! :)
I found that too. It does take more time but they are choosy in who they invest time in. They take friendship seriously and don't call people friends easily, but as a result friendships tend to be deeper and longer lasting than...some other countries. They have Bekannt and Freund, the two are very different there.
Yes. I have been dating Mike for years now and some of his friends still do not acknowledge me and it's soooo strange. Don't get me wrong a lot of his friends are sweet (his circle is not huge) but I just find it to be soooo strange when my friends and family are so open and accepting and it's the complete opposite in DE
@@HayleyAlexis THAT is strange! I'm from the far north of Germany. We're said to be the people, difficult to get in touch with. But a girlfriend of a friend, left standing in the cold? THAT is strange! A saying, used by northernly bikers, was, if you are introducing a real friend to someone new: "this is FRIEND (whatever:) Ulrich. To point out: "pls accept this person like you do accept me." A very strong indroduction. Not ever to me messed with. Comes from that fact: it's sometimes difficult to be accepted for an "outsider", into a group of people. No matter what gender. My ex-gf sometimes laughed about it. Well: the bikers, using that term, are now in their late 6ties or 7ties. A behaviour of "old school". But I think it's a nice one. It should have some culture, still nowadays.
I would disagree, sure we also date for sex. Sex and relationship is no contradiction, is it? After growing and getting used to the personal levels of hormons and fleshed out your preferences and skills a litte... then even just for sex - leaving aside spontanous quickies - is a (very short-term) relationship. That night/weekend the partner, which you honor with your intimacy and let into your private space, is during this time THE ONE. 100%. So... if sex is more valuable then sports, then with the right woman in the right time is important - otherwise neither can you give 100% to nor require 100% from her. As a side effect, this makes repetition more likely. :-) In this, it does not make too much difference if you are dating for a longterm relationship as lovers or a short-term sex based one. You check out mutably, if this partner fits AND if let him/her wake up in the bed next to you in your appartment in your arms will make both feel well. :-)
Sometimes you just go on a date for nothing. I've dated guys for months and when I asked if we actually were in a relationship the answer was: well at the moment having a relationship doesn't fit in my life, can't we just leave it as it is? ...
German man here: "a guy just tapping me on the shoulder" - maybe that can happen in the US because there is a "smalltalk culture" while in Germany that rarely happens because we don't like smalltalks?
heidebaer41 Yeah, in Canada too. My bf was surprised at the time because some random person started talking to him in a restaurant lol expect that a lot. Just being friendly but doesn’t mean they want anything or friendships.
😂 american girl here. "A gal just tapped me on shoulder" I often wonder if reason why US tends to be small-talk friendly may have to do with geographically being so spread out,& with most population at one time or another having moved or being newcomers to a neighborhood or as immigrants at some point. My mom was from Berlin and came here in 50's, so and i dont know if she was already that way, but here in States she was the one who would approach strangers( and it would at times annoy us to no end, especially if we wanted to get home fast 😂). She would compliment kids, parents, elderly. She just had a heart for people, and wanted be the love she wished to see in the world.She knew she may never see again, but she did anyway, without expecting anything in return. ❤ I tell you that one of the best things she taught us was that instead of feeling sorry for ourselves we should find someone else to encourage; and it really does often help to get mind off self. You realize as you are listening of how much you have to be grateful, but also you kind of self comfort as you give it. ( doesnt always work though; grieving my parents, for example) :( Maybe my mom(& dad did this eventually too) because she knew what it was like to be stranger in foreign land, maybe her faith & maybe kindness of strangers also influenced her. Ich weiss nicht warum. I do respect and can understand how people have different comfort levels though. i also understand how some find it uncomfortable, suspicious or unsettling.
This is so true with the sex part. I remember early in the relationship when me and hubby are still dating that he told me he cant have sex with a person if theres no love, at first it was so imposible for me to believe it but its actually true
When I was a college student, there were 2 or maybe 3 foreign exchange students (it was a small liberal arts college in the USA, in the midsouth). The English guy pursued a red headed Tri Delt, but she friend zoned him. He struggled with girls. There was also one German guy who was there for one semester. He was tall, had curly brown hair, and was kind of intellectual and remote. He enjoyed talking to the professors after class, and he didn't seem to notice any of the girls on campus. And ALL the girls on campus were crazy about him! LOL I think his name was Thomas. He certainly made an impression, without really trying. I don't think he realized all the girls wanted him SO BAD. All the American guys were jealous. One guy said the girls just like him (the German guy) because he's "different" - but being intellectual, not really a partier, and easy on the eyes? Those differences are fine with me. I don't think he ever had a girlfriend while he was here. He was oblivious to the girls, and southern girls are used to not having to pursue (at least in my generation, girls didn't have to make an effort - just give a guy a couple of glances and he would come over and just start talking to you).
When I first came from Germany to the US as a college student, I was struck by how sexualized relations between men and women students were. Everything was “a date.” There was no such thing as just companionship. As a woman, you couldn’t just go to see a movie with a hetero guy you knew and then have a drink and conversation before going home: he would seriously expect to at least make out a bit, if not be invited to your room. German students didn’t think so much in terms of dates and sex whenever they see a person of the gender and age they’re interested in. We could totally do things like movies, hikes, swims, concerts with another person regardless of their gender, without there being an expectation of sex afterwards.
I am from Germany and I think you found yourself a lovely man. In my opinion, he doesn’t represent most of them tho. The part about men not approaching you is true but in my optinion that makes them even more bitter when they get rejected. My friend has so many screenshots of men taking rejections so poorly. And other guys who make women believe they are dating just to have someone to be intimate with. So everyone who wants to come here to find a boyfriend: be careful, es ist nicht alles Gold was glänzt!
German man are very courteous, very respectful, sensitive and very loyal. They are educated and very nice man. Sorry if this offends any man. It is not my intention.👨.
With most of my female friends I've been in a relationship with some time in my life. There usually is a period of time after the breakup where one or both are hurt or resentful but then you realize you both are adults and start behaving like that. Like remembering that you had something in common, were happy together and just don't throw that away. Keep the good parts and stay friends, learn from the bad parts and don't make the same mistakes in the next relationship. Having a party with three ex-gfs sitting on the couch, whispering to each other and then looking at you, smiling. :D Oh, the current gf was listening in as well :P
I found that it is harder to make true friends in America. Once you do make friends in Germany, then the friendship is more genuine than it is in America. Yes Germans may not just let anybody random into their circle, but if you in you are in. As far as American men are concerned: there are differences and differences cultures. Certain cultures here in America don’t respect women overall and are willing and ready to hit the sack and leave when differences arise. German men are more selective when choosing a friend and who they date
I totally agree with the whole friend thing, I’m from New Zealand and have bn in Germany for nearly a year now and it’s not as easy to makes friends like it is in New Zealand! But on a happy note 😊 I learn a lot from your videos which has helped me a lot through awkward situations hahaha
I'm German and that meeting people through mutual friends thing is totally true :D It's quite hard to meet someone in Germany because no one will randomly talk to you. Everyone minds their business and maybe you will someday meet someone at a friends birthday party. But that person will probably be too shy to ask for your number :D
Once I dated with a german guy who were the most descent , loyal, cutest and sweetest man that I’ve never met in my life and I ended up breaking her heart😖😖. I regret sooooo much for not to able to keep him . I just couldn’t handle the strength of feelings between us.😢😭 😭😭
@@HayleyAlexis Nope. Not ready again, yet. If you're into cooking: www.chefkoch.de/rezepte/3263071485119706/General-Tsos-Huehnchen.html Reason is in my profile.
Well not all the dating in Germany happens in the "Friend circle". Many of the people I know do online dating like Tinder, lovoo or something and even make friends though that. I like to expand my Friend circle by meeting new people outside my Clique. I even met my boyfriend on online dating. We have been together now since over 4 years.😘💖 Love your Videos and I am beyond glad and happy we got you back 💖💖💖 Lots of love.
I've been binging your videos because I just found you today and I've been trying to learn German culture for so long now! I want to go over there eventually because it's where my family came from in the late 1800's. My family has a lot of German tradition here still and I feel out of place in this Hispanic populated area of America. I also think dating a German guy would be perfect for me! Thank you for doing these videos!
Vielen Dank für das Video. Sehr erleuchtend. Es ist ja in den USA ja noch schlimmer mit dem daten als ich dachte.. Diese unausgesprochene „Verpflichtung“ dass man im Bett landet nach wenigen Dates für die Frau. Hier bei uns darf man sich Zeit nehmen fürs Verlieben oder was auch immer. Diesen „Druck“ nach ein paar (bezahlten) Abendessen quasi „abzuliefern“ den möchte ich nicht..
das ist eben für die frau in den USA die Kehrseite der Medaille und kommt mit der dort dominierenden Einstellung, dass der mann zu bezahlen hat beim date: er erbringt eine Leistung - und erwartet natürlich eine Gegenleistung. einer Amerikanerin, die sich mal bei mir ausheulte über die amerikanischen Männer und diese Einstellung beim dating hab ich schnurgrad ins gesicht gesagt: dann bezahl für dich selbst bei einem date! ihre Reaktion: nein, niemals! *er* will ja was von *mir*! drauf ich: richtig. aber genau darüber beschwerst du dich ja. bei uns hier ist das gsd anders. (auf der andren seite versteh ich auch die amerikanischen Männer nicht: wenn es einem mann ausschließlich um sex geht, ist dating wohl die teuerste variante mit den unsichersten Erfolgsaussichten...)
@@peterkoller3761 Kann ihnen da nur zustimmen. Ich kann vielleicht etwas Verständnis reinbringen, für die meisten ist es deutlich erstrebenswerter mit jemanden Sex zu haben der dies tut der Person wegen und nicht für Geld, die allermeisten von uns wollen geliebt werden. Und auch wenn diese Mann zahlt Konzept bestimmt gewisse Ähnlichkeiten zu Prostitution aufweist ( aber auch einige Unterschiede) so ist es doch deutlich weniger aktiv und direkt und für beide Seiten deutlich leichter zu verdängen und steht somit dem Gefühl des geliebt/begehrt werden kaum bis gar nicht im Weg.
ganz deiner Meinung! aber, die logische Konsequenz: wenn ich jeden Anschein von, jede nähe zu Bezahlsex vermeiden will, dann muss ich im Vorfeld jeglichen wesentlichen Geldfluss von a zu b vermeiden (und so ein date ist ein wesentlicher Geldfluss, kostet nach amerikanischen Erwartungen an so einen Abend schnell mal 100$. und wie lang muss ein durchschnittsmann wohl arbeiten, damit ihm 100$ *bleiben* um sie ins Dating zu stecken?) - nach meiner Erfahrung, und auch, wenn ich mir so die Aussagen von Amerikanerinnen zum Thema Dating und wer bezahlt beim Ausgehen anschaue, sind gerade Amerikanerinnen (trotz aller vorgeblicher Modernität der Lebenseinstellung) nicht bereit, aufs "eingeladen werden" zu verzichten. mit den genannten logischen Konsequenzen.
@@peterkoller3761 sie wollen nicht darauf verzichten? Sie bestehen darauf, bezahlst du nicht, dann will sie nichts mehr mit dir zu tun haben. Ich persönlich finde aber auch, dass der mann beim ersten date bezahlen sollte.
About the "sex aspect": bear in mind that in Germany there is a way better sex education in school and other opportunities than in the US (especially in the Bible Belt). That can explain the different behaviours when it comes to that topic.
Interesting topic. That reminds me of the very first video I ever saw from you. I was so pissed how arrogant you managed the topic back then. So nice you came to a more adult and objective view. I think you searched for the word fertility or expectations when dating. And yes, german men do have two left hands when it comes to dating. But women are at least as difficult. Both parties hard to please, it's a wonder we Germans still reproduce... 😛
Yes a lot of people saw that video and it was one of my most viewed videos but I had to delete it for copyright issues. I think I have grown up since that video. I am pretty sure I was 22-23 years old and so naive, so young, and so used to my USA way of thinking! Yes women CAN/ARE difficult BUT men still put up with us :p
@@HayleyAlexis I also saw the old video and thought: "What an egocentric, superficial woman!" It seemed a bit like the prejudice of the superficial US-American that had come to life ^^ And yet I kept looking into the channel once in a while and I have to say I was surprised how much more mature, how much more pleasant you have become, how much more open to many things. Basically a proof of how important it is to think outside the box - for everyone :)
Hello Hayley, good afternoon. It's really nice to have back. Nice and interesting topic. Is it the same with American and German woman or totally different??
@@HayleyAlexis not really i know, but i guess you are an american woman and you know other american woman's and after your time in Munich Germany, i think you met some german woman too, so maybe you got some experience how there are acting in a discotheque or bar for example?
My view - due to age - might be a bit old fashioned, but the goal is relationship.When you date or meet people several times there shall grow some sympathy. For that reason sex may be fun, but you'd like to have that person around for some longer. For just sex people don't go out dating for a long time. There are several ways for one-night stands. No hassle at all. Of course on such a thing you can hardly get to "know" another person and so you won't find out about interesting features.
Felt the need to reply. I am an American military black female living in Germany and currently made my relationship official with my German boyfriend and everything you say couldn’t be further from the truth. He is reserved and have mentioned to me how he wouldn’t mind waiting on sex and have regretted having sex with certain women in the past. Being a black woman has never been an issue to him or his family. Don’t mean to bring race in the picture but I didn’t think Germans would be this accepting of this knowing their history. Didn’t know much about the culture before coming here so it shocked me that race is not a big deal here as it is in the USA.
It's also very important that your mom teaches you respect, sometimes the boy is a little Prince, probably mom is not respected by her husband, and so on ...
Hi, I love your videos! But considering the question my german men behave differently towards women may I suggest an other reason? I don't think that it's the lack of time with mothers which causes the immature behaviour of young men (are there really more stay at home moms in Germany anyway?) I think the root of the issue is the lack of fathers. I read (I don't know the source anymore) that there are more children growing up without their fathers in the United States especially in the black community. And that male rolemodel is missing. It's the father by just being there who acts as rolemodel and shows the son how a man is supposed to behave. When the father is missing teenagers usually tend to look for young men within their peergroup as rolemodels who are a few years older. So when he is 15 years old he looks for 18 years old guys for a rolemodel and that significantly influences him. And how mature are those slightly older guys? :D There seems to be a link between fatherlessness on the one hand and immature behaviour, disregard for women, even psychological instability, scholl/colledge drop outs and criminal behaviour at the other hand. Ok, that went dark quickly :D
I don't think there are significantly more Americans without a dad. It may be more common among blacks, due to the racist criminal justice system and extremely high incarceration rates and a higher rate of single moms, yet, just judging from TH-cam comments, immaturity among teenage US boys is most definitely not a problem specific to blacks. Myself, I would be hard-pressed to name a single most important factor. I think the wider use of nannies, less time to socialise outside school, educational taboos due to widespread fundamentalist religion, gamer culture and its malign offshoot the anti-SJW culture, virulent right-wing anti-feminism all play a role in (I think only relative) Europe-US differences.
@Hauke Holst gun violence is magnitudes higher than in Europe, but it's not high enough to make a significant amount of people orphans... there are a lot more kids who are fatherless due to divorce or separation before marriage.
Good vid Hayley. I did read the description and I noticed your specific age number changed. 😁 You're still young and beautiful Hayley. Really liking your hair! I'm sure it's work but certainly worth it.
hahahah I just changed it last night thinking no one would notice ;) Very good eye! The grey hairs are multiplying like weeds on my head but nonetheless I don't mind aging :)
Hey Hayley, now that I moved to Germany I am slowly getting how harsh can be finding a guy, but not only that finding friends, so it s not actually bad the mutual friends shop idea hahha 💓😁 but I am working on it
hahahaha, you haven´t seen me, then. If a girl asked me before a blind date how she would recognize me I would say: " If you see a guy and think by yourself: god, please don´t let it be him!, that´s me!" (and the sad thing is: this would not be a joke but the painful truth.)
The height of men in the US and desirability as a partner is an unfortunate issue that can perhaps cause some men to feel insecure and self conscious. Older movies, TV shows and books actually state tall men are stronger, better protectors and more sexually appealing. This height thing is a mentality that still lingers subconsciously but I hope is going away.
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5 ปีที่แล้ว +1
If you put the speed at 0.25 at the part she fasted forward it sounds basically like an alien
I’m in a long distance relationship NY to Berlin now I live in Thailand still going strong we are in the same career we have a lot in common. Finally he will visit Thailand. I been following your TH-cam Chanel since 2019 and your intent has been very helpful. ❤️ my question to you why you cut your hair ? I’m going to cut mine like your but have mix emotions on it
09:00 As a German, I definitely can relate to that, didn't think that was gonna happen more often, though (if that generalisation for German men is correct). Germans once had the reputation of being more "cerebral", ie. rational and in a way also schizoid, thus less emotive and more self-controlled. This might be advantageous in some areas and disadvantageous in others ...
I would prefer the American way.... I am German and a lot of German men are "beziehungsunfähig". I am lucky. My husband was a friend of my friends and that was how we met each other. But most of the singles search on dating apps and that does not work. Too many opportunities, too many choices. They date one girl, get a message from another which is maybe more pretty and they will never call the first girl again..... That is how it goes today. Very very sad and I am so thankful, that I am not single today.
Where do you think those dating apps originate from? the US. Of course there are German ones but the concept is an American one that has spread to other countries. OKCupid, eHarmony, Tinder...all American. And they were designed for the American dating scene hence the things you don't like about them- moving from one to the next quickly, the superficiality of it, the "too many choices, too many opportunities" as you put it are all American consumer values applied to dating. And the reason why it devalues relationships and dating.
Dann hast du einfach nur die Arschlöcher kennen gelernt, ich kann als mann sowas auch nicht gutheissen, wenn ich eine Freundin suche dann gilt ihr meine aufmerksamkeit, da such ich bestimmt nicht noch nach einer die hübscher ist. Der Charakter der Frau steht an erster stelle, und wenn der zu mir passt, können so viele heisse Frauen kommen wie wollen, die lass ich dann stehen :D
Isn't it nice that you still have a person that knows you and what you want. When both partners have the feelings that they are no more in love why not stay as friends. What is very important: both have to be serious and no one has the feelings to be cheated!
I must be really old fashioned bc i am not like typical American,& moreso like german folks( maybe bc my mom was German,& my dad was so respectful of my mom and other women). Truth though, Americans in general could use some improvement. Ps i really like that color on you!
My mom tought me, that also women enjoy sex, and that it is totally ok, to hae sex with a person you don't love, just cause you enjoy it. Just be honest about it, dont't tell any lies just to get laid. After you get the "desperation for sex" out of the datingprocess, you are really able to get to know your partner. And this can become the foundation of a lifelong relationship. Sex is a nice side effect, of finding a partner, but should never be the fonudation or reason for a relationship. For it is way easier, to have sex then sharing you life.
It turns out that the height thing functioned as a rough proxy for what kind of resources were available to children in a given society and rank within it. Furthermore, a peculiar genetic pattern occurs, whereby as a population's childhood health improves, so does the average height of that population; if it declines, so does average height; if it stagnates, so does average height. It is most interesting...
@@WS3838 yao ming, yi jianlian, jeremy lin, yutaki hagiwara, Mengke Bateer and finaly, my father in law. ..... Just because Asians are smaller on average, does not mean that there are less tall people in Asia. Don't forget. >1.000.0000 in China alone That's like saying all Americans are obese or overweight just because the average is. But we all know a lot of Americans that aren't.
Well, on the plus side, men and women become friends with each other in the hopes the other party has dateable friends, so the interact with each other and learn from the other gender in the process without sexual motives towards the person you are friends with.
Only thing i dont like is that sometimes groups of friends can be so enmeshed that if there is a break up or divorce, it could be so messy or awkward. I knew a group of friends from UK for a time( i was becoming closer with a gal in group)and they were all cheating on each other behind backs, and I just had to escape bc it was too dysfunctional for me
Personally, as a man, I like the fact that I am NOT expected to pay for the woman when we go out on a date in Germany!! In most cases, I was far poorer than the girls I went out with (both in Canada and in Germany). In Germany, the woman was never upset or surprised when I asked for separate checks; in Canada, I would have to tell her that before we went on a date (and a few declined)! And I am seldomly the first to initiate sex, I'd rather wait until they are ready and they let you know! I had a parttime job while I was in college and that income barely covered rent, tuition, books and food let alone dating and tuition back then was far less than now and after second year we had an eight-month work term (it was a co-op engineering diploma)! The co-op job paid more than my part-time job but it was far from a living wage until I started to work overtime!! Nowadays women can easily earn as much if not more than men and should not expect men to cover the cost of dating!
Man nehme einen Atlas und ein Geschichtsbuch und erkennt warum wir in Deutschland so unterschiedlich aussehen: Wir liegen in Zentraleuropa und seit Ewigkeiten sind wir Durchreise- und Einwanderungsland. Und eins haben alle Menschen zu allen Zeiten gemeinsam: Sie hinterlassen sehr gerne ihre Gene wo auch immer sie sind. - Zitat von irgendwo auf Twitter: And I think this ist beautiful! :-) -
@Hayley You could have just looked up the average male heights of typical countries people are migrating from. ;-) I googled that and also stumbled over maps for body hair and penis size. xD
That is a very logical thought 😂😂😂 i mean I won’t deny that I have come across the penis size websites and I also won’t deny that I might have looked 🙈😂
Men will ALWAYS lose a lot of respect for a girl who asks them out. Because if you think about it the most desirable women NEVER ask a guy out. So if you want to be more desirable to him, don't ask him out!! I'm warning you ladies. You will come off super thirsty and desperate. It's a major turn off to guys. He will never take you seriously after this. It doesn't matter how much we don't like 'the rules' they are tried and true.
We don't call it that in Ireland either. Here you just chat to someone in a bar or club when you've both had a few drinks to get over nerves and, well that's it really. No-one would ever ask someone on a date in a park or start chatting up a stranger on the street. You'd be seen as a weirdo 😆
@@funbun5698 out of which dark hole are you coming? Asking out is not asking "ficken?" but is just to do the first step and approach. Nobody will loose respect for such a behavior (except in a conservative Turkish community)
wow... hayley i love you but german men dont date for sex. they want to get to know the girl and then have a relationship. sex is not a goal... its a part of the relationship. what makes you think like that?
i think social distancing is part of german culture but germans compensate this trough clubs or associations (dont know how to prnc). Germany has a huge club culture for any kind of interests where u can meet new friends and people like sport clubs or other stuff. Its not common to speak to a random person out on the streets or in public.
I know we are not good in delivering a nice dating expirience...but we also don't have the magic "friendzone" that Americans seem to fear. I allmost allways, got into a relationship with girls that were friends. It's a logic step. Not so much in the USA, I guess. Off course there is no official date culture envolved when transitioning from friend to girlfriend. We just hang out with each other...and get intimate.
@@HayleyAlexis Wow really no friend zone? Thats so interesting and maybe deserves a video. In America the friend zone is a big deal and like everyone's nightmare. We are still debating whether or not men and women who are attracted to each other can be 'just friends'. They can't in my opinion. How do Germans avoid it? In America you can't ever escape the friends zone. Maybe it's because of how we flirt? I heard in another video by another american girl that german guys are more blunt and direct. While American guys beat around the bush more. I'm tired of american guys and their passive aggressiveness and lack of honesty because really that's what it comes down to you not being honest with yourself about your feelings. They waste so much time and life is short. They act like little boys, not men. I would be pissed if my guy said he "used to" have feelings for one of his female friends. If you're still friends with someone you like who rejected you then you'll never get over them, you'll most likely just fall harder and feel jealous of their partners. And if you respect yourself why do that to yourself? You're still looking for hope and haven't let go. That's not a man in my opinion.
@@funbun5698 We date inside and "beneath" our circle of friends. You don't have to do that! But you can and many do. But that's more about getting into a relationship and not just about getting kinky. You can approach girls in the club or bar, but this mostly happens after she gave OK to be approached via bodylanguage. Then you can make a pass on her and she can turn you down, because she just wanted the attention...or don't turn you down...this all usually ends in intimacy with no real deep further connection. Getting friends or friends of friends as girlfriends is the goto way, as far as I know.
@@leonardcoop7361 Never came across a friendzone in my youth. Also several of my friends became couples and even married. I live in the Ruhrgebiet where did you get friendzoned? Are you a 4chan citizen?
Typical German government Civil servant. I am a civil servant. I hate it when my colleagues acting like that. It is the older generation. They are rude and disrespectful. Before I was a civil servant I had the same situation like you. No smiling, not being friendly and so on. In every department was the same. Today I know why these people doing this. Because they are unhappy with the bureaucracy and as a civil servant in Germany you have not many options to make a career. You're supervisor acting like that and the subordinate do the same to the citizens. It's really sad. I don't do this to citizens oder foreign people. But we are another generation. We're younger and we thinking global and we are happier with our life. Ämter/Angestellte müssen freundlich sein!!! We're getting payed for that. Next time come to me🤪👍 I tell you some Beamtenwitze!
I know of a sorcerer who can help you regain your love ... He also helped me attract my ex partner back after the breakup ... Contact him at +2347086892323❤❤❤
It's funny that many outside Germany assume that Hitler's beauty ideal applied to most Germans, rather than to a minority among mostly brown-haired and brown-eyed people like Hitler himself. What's even more funny is that most of the blonde part in the modern German gene pool most probably came from assimilated Slavs and Baltic people (including the original Prussians).
Haha, that is not what you said the last time you broached this topic. I recall that the last time you said that height was an important sticking point for you. Is this authentic growth in sophistication or political correctness? Hmmm
It is kind of revealing but it surely has some sense, just to skip the opportunity for quick sex even if it is here (both want it if there is attraction), and put some time to gauge the compatibility, is it sustainable, and at the end what is it for. Just scoring is not something that makes sense, simply without connection on a deeper level why to pursue intimacy.
@@anna_hbz I'm not talking about the variety American English. As a non-native English speaker I have a penchant for a specific (ie. I chose one) variety, but that wasn't my point. I discovered that compared to eg. GB, American women often sound displeasing, I can't tell why. It's a combination of vocal pitch, intonation and manner of speaking which I find unalluring. Once I've been to Canada and as soon as I crossed the Quebec border to Ontario, women sounded that way.
I think the approach is quit the opposite. Europeans want to know first how the other person is like bevor they are ready for a relationahip. Sometimes its not enough for relationship, but you can still be friends without bad feelings. The american way is more like fast forward to the bedroom and after that we find out who the other person really is. And iam honestly surprised that the size chart still is splitted in different ethnices for US men.
Well YOU could just go ask him first instead then lol. Instead of waiting. And if you dont want too, well then you know why they dont want too aswell. Same reason maybe :) Could just be respect of your privacy aswell up here near the nordic contries honestly. Or they didtn go to town to meet someone, but still think you look cute and cant help looking at you :)
This makes sense as to why the German man that I’m getting to know is so sexual towards me. This all makes sense... The culture is so different in this way...🤔 So, they aren’t dating with sex as the main goal. They’re dating with potentially more in mind...and they apparently really like you if they go that far with you.? Im learning to understand how he works...cause I’ve been struggling. Mine is Swiss German.
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Hey you guys :) You should definitely read the description, it explains this video! Dating across different borders is always fun (nerve-racking but fun). One of the number one questions I get asked about living in Germany is "what are German men like?". Hope this video shines a light on some of the differences between German men and USA men!!
I also have some female friends I mean "very very good friends for years" where I would never ever want to have sex with them..simply because that will destroy respectively totally change our fertilizing relationship respectively "friendship" which we have now...and I even don´t feel amourous in any way in their presence either..although they are pretty...at least in my view because as we all know tastes differ...
And those girls where I had sex and an intimate relationship after we broke up it was always an very awkward situation when we met again or we didn´t see us again at all...
That was the song rolling through my head 😜😂
@@michaelgrabner8977 It's not so weird just imagine she stops beeing your girlfriend but starts to be some of your other friends girlfriend. She was ok before you were a couple, she will be the same after not beeing a couple anymore. Plus you can share shit about her with her new bf behind her back. Seen that many times. Works perfectly. Also it keeps strangers outside of your circle of friends.
@@TremereTT Ha, Ha, Ha I know those things which you told very well as well from the past ..but I don´t play games like this anymore...simply because I´m way too old for that kind of immature mindgames....it´s just truely a waste of time...I´m in the late 40ties now and I´m simply so to say "mind-settled"...so therefore because of my life-experience I´ve got a totally different approach to women now than I´ve got in the past...
But I also have to say although I´m an old geezer now when I´m fresh shaved I look like a mid 30 year old guy respectively you won´t believe my age when you see me at all...simply nobody does...because my hair is still dark brown with no white or grey hair in between..and my skin got no wrinkles as well (at least till now) although it is all natural..and my height is 1,84 and I´m still slim and generally I´m looking not so bad I would say respectively I´ve still got a well groomed appearance....I simply got very good genes and that´s it...just saying..
and therefore even today some random young girls in the street or where ever who could be my daughters very often are giving me a random smile or the certain look not being aware of my actual age...And I would lie when I say that this wouldn´t be flattering...
It was very funny to see this clip ! Greetings from a blue-ehedem and blond-haired 186cm tall german guy 😀👍
Oh, that explains it, why especially in American movies, guys often get cold feet when things are getting serious in a relationship.
Excuse me while I move to Germany and find myself a nice, respectful German man
We need to go where the men are. Here American men have unrealistic expectations for women
@@emmaalvarez1794 Let me tell you that most German men do, too. Finding genuine, intelligent and sweet guys here that DON'T have sky high expectations is like digging for diamonds in the rough - just as much as it is in the U.S. ^^' And then that guy is probably in a relationship with your best friend 😂
I'm german and most of the guys that I know are actually really disrespectful...but mean it depends on the person
😂 jinx! I thought same thing( but i have felt this way towards europeans in general(& other parts of world also).
To be fair, there are some decent men in U.S. just like Ive encountered jerks in Germany and jerks from other countries also. But truth that we have plenty to work on here in the states, women included.
Yes! Finding regular friends is hard in Germany. Germans (male and female) have their close knit group of friends from university/school and they often don't let other people in :(
Here in the North, you just have to be around long enough and you'll find someone who'll introduce you into a "clique" or group of friends. It's just a thing you have to work on active! :)
I found that too. It does take more time but they are choosy in who they invest time in. They take friendship seriously and don't call people friends easily, but as a result friendships tend to be deeper and longer lasting than...some other countries. They have Bekannt and Freund, the two are very different there.
Yes. I have been dating Mike for years now and some of his friends still do not acknowledge me and it's soooo strange. Don't get me wrong a lot of his friends are sweet (his circle is not huge) but I just find it to be soooo strange when my friends and family are so open and accepting and it's the complete opposite in DE
You want to become part of a group? Join a "Verein" for whatever. Most important source of couples apart from work / school.
@@HayleyAlexis THAT is strange! I'm from the far north of Germany. We're said to be the people, difficult to get in touch with. But a girlfriend of a friend, left standing in the cold? THAT is strange!
A saying, used by northernly bikers, was, if you are introducing a real friend to someone new: "this is FRIEND (whatever:) Ulrich. To point out: "pls accept this person like you do accept me." A very strong indroduction. Not ever to me messed with. Comes from that fact: it's sometimes difficult to be accepted for an "outsider", into a group of people. No matter what gender. My ex-gf sometimes laughed about it. Well: the bikers, using that term, are now in their late 6ties or 7ties. A behaviour of "old school".
But I think it's a nice one. It should have some culture, still nowadays.
You go on a date for a relationship in Germany and not for f****. 😅 Greets from Germany.
Ehhh I sortuve agree BUT I have met plenty of men that would disagree
I would disagree, sure we also date for sex. Sex and relationship is no contradiction, is it?
After growing and getting used to the personal levels of hormons and fleshed out your preferences and skills a litte... then even just for sex - leaving aside spontanous quickies - is a (very short-term) relationship. That night/weekend the partner, which you honor with your intimacy and let into your private space, is during this time THE ONE. 100%.
So... if sex is more valuable then sports, then with the right woman in the right time is important - otherwise neither can you give 100% to nor require 100% from her. As a side effect, this makes repetition more likely. :-)
In this, it does not make too much difference if you are dating for a longterm relationship as lovers or a short-term sex based one. You check out mutably, if this partner fits AND if let him/her wake up in the bed next to you in your appartment in your arms will make both feel well. :-)
Sometimes you just go on a date for nothing. I've dated guys for months and when I asked if we actually were in a relationship the answer was: well at the moment having a relationship doesn't fit in my life, can't we just leave it as it is? ...
@Hauke Holst wait for the next generation. Die kids sind genauso versaut wie die in den US
"WE" are also dating for Sex. Easy and fast, happens too.
I think, maybe I'm wrong, but there efficient Sex dates too
Please open Up a "find a friend" shop😂🇩🇪
I will charge a subscription amount... 5 euros a month
German man here: "a guy just tapping me on the shoulder" - maybe that can happen in the US because there is a "smalltalk culture" while in Germany that rarely happens because we don't like smalltalks?
Surprised the heck outta me first time in US. I could just randomly talk to people. Doesnt happen in Deutschland
heidebaer41 Yeah, in Canada too. My bf was surprised at the time because some random person started talking to him in a restaurant lol expect that a lot. Just being friendly but doesn’t mean they want anything or friendships.
We also respect private spaces, and non-consensual touching is rare
😂 american girl here.
"A gal just tapped me on shoulder"
I often wonder if reason why US tends to be small-talk friendly may have to do with geographically being so spread out,& with most population at one time or another having moved or being newcomers to a neighborhood or as immigrants at some point.
My mom was from Berlin and came here in 50's, so and i dont know if she was already that way, but here in States she was the one who would approach strangers( and it would at times annoy us to no end, especially if we wanted to get home fast 😂).
She would compliment kids, parents, elderly.
She just had a heart for people, and wanted be the love she wished to see in the world.She knew she may never see again, but she did anyway, without expecting anything in return. ❤
I tell you that one of the best things she taught us was that instead of feeling sorry for ourselves we should find someone else to encourage; and it really does often help to get mind off self. You realize as you are listening of how much you have to be grateful, but also you kind of self comfort as you give it. ( doesnt always work though; grieving my parents, for example) :(
Maybe my mom(& dad did this eventually too) because she knew what it was like to be stranger in foreign land, maybe her faith & maybe kindness of strangers also influenced her. Ich weiss nicht warum.
I do respect and can understand how people have different comfort levels though. i also understand how some find it uncomfortable, suspicious or unsettling.
But what she describes isn’t “smalltalk.” It’s a pickup line, a rather obvious and rehearsed one.
This is so true with the sex part. I remember early in the relationship when me and hubby are still dating that he told me he cant have sex with a person if theres no love, at first it was so imposible for me to believe it but its actually true
This is so me.
When I was a college student, there were 2 or maybe 3 foreign exchange students (it was a small liberal arts college in the USA, in the midsouth). The English guy pursued a red headed Tri Delt, but she friend zoned him. He struggled with girls. There was also one German guy who was there for one semester. He was tall, had curly brown hair, and was kind of intellectual and remote. He enjoyed talking to the professors after class, and he didn't seem to notice any of the girls on campus. And ALL the girls on campus were crazy about him! LOL I think his name was Thomas. He certainly made an impression, without really trying. I don't think he realized all the girls wanted him SO BAD. All the American guys were jealous. One guy said the girls just like him (the German guy) because he's "different" - but being intellectual, not really a partier, and easy on the eyes? Those differences are fine with me. I don't think he ever had a girlfriend while he was here. He was oblivious to the girls, and southern girls are used to not having to pursue (at least in my generation, girls didn't have to make an effort - just give a guy a couple of glances and he would come over and just start talking to you).
When I first came from Germany to the US as a college student, I was struck by how sexualized relations between men and women students were. Everything was “a date.” There was no such thing as just companionship. As a woman, you couldn’t just go to see a movie with a hetero guy you knew and then have a drink and conversation before going home: he would seriously expect to at least make out a bit, if not be invited to your room. German students didn’t think so much in terms of dates and sex whenever they see a person of the gender and age they’re interested in. We could totally do things like movies, hikes, swims, concerts with another person regardless of their gender, without there being an expectation of sex afterwards.
@@moot9798 In the U.S. there definitely are platonic relationships between men and women. Companionship is real.
Schön, dass es mit TH-cam wieder klappt. Ich freue mich für dich - und uns! :)
Danke :D
I am from Germany and I think you found yourself a lovely man. In my opinion, he doesn’t represent most of them tho. The part about men not approaching you is true but in my optinion that makes them even more bitter when they get rejected. My friend has so many screenshots of men taking rejections so poorly. And other guys who make women believe they are dating just to have someone to be intimate with.
So everyone who wants to come here to find a boyfriend: be careful, es ist nicht alles Gold was glänzt!
German man are very courteous, very respectful, sensitive and very loyal. They are educated and very nice man. Sorry if this offends any man. It is not my intention.👨.
With most of my female friends I've been in a relationship with some time in my life. There usually is a period of time after the breakup where one or both are hurt or resentful but then you realize you both are adults and start behaving like that. Like remembering that you had something in common, were happy together and just don't throw that away. Keep the good parts and stay friends, learn from the bad parts and don't make the same mistakes in the next relationship.
Having a party with three ex-gfs sitting on the couch, whispering to each other and then looking at you, smiling. :D Oh, the current gf was listening in as well :P
I found that it is harder to make true friends in America. Once you do make friends in Germany, then the friendship is more genuine than it is in America. Yes Germans may not just let anybody random into their circle, but if you in you are in. As far as American men are concerned: there are differences and differences cultures. Certain cultures here in America don’t respect women overall and are willing and ready to hit the sack and leave when differences arise. German men are more selective when choosing a friend and who they date
I totally agree with the whole friend thing, I’m from New Zealand and have bn in Germany for nearly a year now and it’s not as easy to makes friends like it is in New Zealand! But on a happy note 😊 I learn a lot from your videos which has helped me a lot through awkward situations hahaha
And now?
honey a germen friend you will have for a lief time so yes its hard to get them but you will love this to the end ( sorry for my bad englisch )
I'm German and that meeting people through mutual friends thing is totally true :D It's quite hard to meet someone in Germany because no one will randomly talk to you. Everyone minds their business and maybe you will someday meet someone at a friends birthday party. But that person will probably be too shy to ask for your number :D
Once I dated with a german guy who were the most descent , loyal, cutest and sweetest man that I’ve never met in my life and I ended up breaking her heart😖😖. I regret sooooo much for not to able to keep him . I just couldn’t handle the strength of feelings between us.😢😭 😭😭
So nice to see you back on. I enjoyed this video as always.
Thank you Debbie :)
Hi, the Part of the dating german men (Friend of a friend etc and how you find a boyfriend in Germany) is so true 😂 mach weiter so ! :)
Ich hätte so pech am anfang -__- NO BOYFRIENDS FOR HAYLEY
It's not as easy to makes friends in Germany!
Swiss: Hold my beer but stay away!
I'm a german guy. Sometimes in the US. Not wanting to date. But this one told me alot! Thanks! We live to learn!
No dating???
@@HayleyAlexis Nope. Not ready again, yet. If you're into cooking:
www.chefkoch.de/rezepte/3263071485119706/General-Tsos-Huehnchen.html
Reason is in my profile.
Well not all the dating in Germany happens in the "Friend circle". Many of the people I know do online dating like Tinder, lovoo or something and even make friends though that. I like to expand my Friend circle by meeting new people outside my Clique. I even met my boyfriend on online dating. We have been together now since over 4 years.😘💖 Love your Videos and I am beyond glad and happy we got you back 💖💖💖 Lots of love.
I truly love watching your videos. You are such a lovely human being. Incredibly positive and reasonable. Hugs
I've been binging your videos because I just found you today and I've been trying to learn German culture for so long now! I want to go over there eventually because it's where my family came from in the late 1800's. My family has a lot of German tradition here still and I feel out of place in this Hispanic populated area of America. I also think dating a German guy would be perfect for me! Thank you for doing these videos!
Did you found one?
Vielen Dank für das Video. Sehr erleuchtend. Es ist ja in den USA ja noch schlimmer mit dem daten als ich dachte.. Diese unausgesprochene „Verpflichtung“ dass man im Bett landet nach wenigen Dates für die Frau. Hier bei uns darf man sich Zeit nehmen fürs Verlieben oder was auch immer. Diesen „Druck“ nach ein paar (bezahlten) Abendessen quasi „abzuliefern“ den möchte ich nicht..
das ist eben für die frau in den USA die Kehrseite der Medaille und kommt mit der dort dominierenden Einstellung, dass der mann zu bezahlen hat beim date: er erbringt eine Leistung - und erwartet natürlich eine Gegenleistung. einer Amerikanerin, die sich mal bei mir ausheulte über die amerikanischen Männer und diese Einstellung beim dating hab ich schnurgrad ins gesicht gesagt: dann bezahl für dich selbst bei einem date! ihre Reaktion: nein, niemals! *er* will ja was von *mir*! drauf ich: richtig. aber genau darüber beschwerst du dich ja. bei uns hier ist das gsd anders. (auf der andren seite versteh ich auch die amerikanischen Männer nicht: wenn es einem mann ausschließlich um sex geht, ist dating wohl die teuerste variante mit den unsichersten Erfolgsaussichten...)
@@peterkoller3761 Kann ihnen da nur zustimmen. Ich kann vielleicht etwas Verständnis reinbringen, für die meisten ist es deutlich erstrebenswerter mit jemanden Sex zu haben der dies tut der Person wegen und nicht für Geld, die allermeisten von uns wollen geliebt werden. Und auch wenn diese Mann zahlt Konzept bestimmt gewisse Ähnlichkeiten zu Prostitution aufweist ( aber auch einige Unterschiede) so ist es doch deutlich weniger aktiv und direkt und für beide Seiten deutlich leichter zu verdängen und steht somit dem Gefühl des geliebt/begehrt werden kaum bis gar nicht im Weg.
ganz deiner Meinung! aber, die logische Konsequenz: wenn ich jeden Anschein von, jede nähe zu Bezahlsex vermeiden will, dann muss ich im Vorfeld jeglichen wesentlichen Geldfluss von a zu b vermeiden (und so ein date ist ein wesentlicher Geldfluss, kostet nach amerikanischen Erwartungen an so einen Abend schnell mal 100$. und wie lang muss ein durchschnittsmann wohl arbeiten, damit ihm 100$ *bleiben* um sie ins Dating zu stecken?) - nach meiner Erfahrung, und auch, wenn ich mir so die Aussagen von Amerikanerinnen zum Thema Dating und wer bezahlt beim Ausgehen anschaue, sind gerade Amerikanerinnen (trotz aller vorgeblicher Modernität der Lebenseinstellung) nicht bereit, aufs "eingeladen werden" zu verzichten. mit den genannten logischen Konsequenzen.
peter koller
In den USA ist fast überall Prostitution illegal. Da haben Hetero Männer gar keine andere Möglichkeit…
@@peterkoller3761 sie wollen nicht darauf verzichten? Sie bestehen darauf, bezahlst du nicht, dann will sie nichts mehr mit dir zu tun haben. Ich persönlich finde aber auch, dass der mann beim ersten date bezahlen sollte.
0:45 im that blonde haired blue-eyed Mathias 😂😂👌🏼
Typical :p 😂😆
@@HayleyAlexis true that! 😅
About the "sex aspect": bear in mind that in Germany there is a way better sex education in school and other opportunities than in the US (especially in the Bible Belt). That can explain the different behaviours when it comes to that topic.
I made a video specifically about that but had to delete it -_- I agree
@@HayleyAlexis TH-cam forced you to delete it????
Interesting topic. That reminds me of the very first video I ever saw from you. I was so pissed how arrogant you managed the topic back then. So nice you came to a more adult and objective view. I think you searched for the word fertility or expectations when dating. And yes, german men do have two left hands when it comes to dating. But women are at least as difficult. Both parties hard to please, it's a wonder we Germans still reproduce... 😛
Yes a lot of people saw that video and it was one of my most viewed videos but I had to delete it for copyright issues. I think I have grown up since that video. I am pretty sure I was 22-23 years old and so naive, so young, and so used to my USA way of thinking!
Yes women CAN/ARE difficult BUT men still put up with us :p
@@HayleyAlexis I also saw the old video and thought: "What an egocentric, superficial woman!" It seemed a bit like the prejudice of the superficial US-American that had come to life ^^ And yet I kept looking into the channel once in a while and I have to say I was surprised how much more mature, how much more pleasant you have become, how much more open to many things. Basically a proof of how important it is to think outside the box - for everyone :)
Woohoooo, congrats on getting YT-approved again Hayley!!
Hello Hayley, good afternoon. It's really nice to have back.
Nice and interesting topic.
Is it the same with American and German woman or totally different??
It is very hard for me to comment on German women because.... I havent dated them!! 😂
@@HayleyAlexis not really i know, but i guess you are an american woman and you know other american woman's and after your time in Munich Germany, i think you met some german woman too, so maybe you got some experience how there are acting in a discotheque or bar for example?
Oh yes... BUT I think that video would be hated by many people because a lot of the girls in Munich are Pfui -__-
@@HayleyAlexis 😅 okay, that's a good point, i should be glad to life in Vienna.
@@robertzander9723 hehe ,...in vienna its easy...you just say the magic words "ge pupn zahte zuaba hau ma uns zom auf a packl"
You look gorgeous! Love the make up ❤️
THank you :D
Come on Hayles...you dont need to do a whole youtube-video about it.. Simply ask me if you want to date me...
I've never been happier to see an youtube ad in my live😍😂
ME TOO!! LMAO. It will take about a month or 2 to get my channel back to where it was number wise BUT I am still very happy
@@HayleyAlexis Congratulations Hayley, I'm so happy for you! Lots of love from France ❤️
Great analysis. Thank you, as I will be traveling there soon. - You are gorgeous, BTW.
Yes, it is as difficult to date in Munich as Hayley says, at least from my personal point of view. I'm a straight man and I speak German fluently.
My view - due to age - might be a bit old fashioned, but the goal is relationship.When you date or meet people several times there shall grow some sympathy. For that reason sex may be fun, but you'd like to have that person around for some longer. For just sex people don't go out dating for a long time. There are several ways for one-night stands. No hassle at all. Of course on such a thing you can hardly get to "know" another person and so you won't find out about interesting features.
My bf is from Germany 💓 and I am from Jamaica never met b4 but it's 3 ½ months in our relationship 🙀❤️✋💞
Sounds like everything moves slower in Germany
Felt the need to reply. I am an American military black female living in Germany and currently made my relationship official with my German boyfriend and everything you say couldn’t be further from the truth. He is reserved and have mentioned to me how he wouldn’t mind waiting on sex and have regretted having sex with certain women in the past. Being a black woman has never been an issue to him or his family. Don’t mean to bring race in the picture but I didn’t think Germans would be this accepting of this knowing their history. Didn’t know much about the culture before coming here so it shocked me that race is not a big deal here as it is in the USA.
It's also very important that your mom teaches you respect, sometimes the boy is a little Prince, probably mom is not respected by her husband, and so on ...
Hi, I love your videos! But considering the question my german men behave differently towards women may I suggest an other reason? I don't think that it's the lack of time with mothers which causes the immature behaviour of young men (are there really more stay at home moms in Germany anyway?) I think the root of the issue is the lack of fathers. I read (I don't know the source anymore) that there are more children growing up without their fathers in the United States especially in the black community. And that male rolemodel is missing. It's the father by just being there who acts as rolemodel and shows the son how a man is supposed to behave. When the father is missing teenagers usually tend to look for young men within their peergroup as rolemodels who are a few years older. So when he is 15 years old he looks for 18 years old guys for a rolemodel and that significantly influences him. And how mature are those slightly older guys? :D There seems to be a link between fatherlessness on the one hand and immature behaviour, disregard for women, even psychological instability, scholl/colledge drop outs and criminal behaviour at the other hand. Ok, that went dark quickly :D
I don't think there are significantly more Americans without a dad. It may be more common among blacks, due to the racist criminal justice system and extremely high incarceration rates and a higher rate of single moms, yet, just judging from TH-cam comments, immaturity among teenage US boys is most definitely not a problem specific to blacks.
Myself, I would be hard-pressed to name a single most important factor. I think the wider use of nannies, less time to socialise outside school, educational taboos due to widespread fundamentalist religion, gamer culture and its malign offshoot the anti-SJW culture, virulent right-wing anti-feminism all play a role in (I think only relative) Europe-US differences.
@Hauke Holst gun violence is magnitudes higher than in Europe, but it's not high enough to make a significant amount of people orphans... there are a lot more kids who are fatherless due to divorce or separation before marriage.
Am looking forward for the man of my dream, who is loving, caring and focus.
Ouuu! Hayley girl that fla tan got you glistening, I see you! Haha
My ego will be the size of Texas when I get back to Germany 😂😂😂 Brown and golden. The sun just makes everyone look better
@@HayleyAlexis Not everyone...I turn pink in the sun 😂
Good vid Hayley. I did read the description and I noticed your specific age number changed. 😁 You're still young and beautiful Hayley. Really liking your hair! I'm sure it's work but certainly worth it.
hahahah I just changed it last night thinking no one would notice ;) Very good eye! The grey hairs are multiplying like weeds on my head but nonetheless I don't mind aging :)
objection! I for my part am quite sure I would not find a guy to tickle my imagination, neither in Germany nor in the USA.
You never know!
I am stubborn in an old fashioned way: when I am looking for a rose, I want to find a rose - not a thorn. ;)
hight in the world, croatia and nederlands
tall as trees :P
Hey Hayley, now that I moved to Germany I am slowly getting how harsh can be finding a guy, but not only that finding friends, so it s not actually bad the mutual friends shop idea hahha 💓😁 but I am working on it
German men are 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Annett G. Nickol 😂😂😂 no those are the flame emoji
so you mean, German guys are burned?
peter koller no like they’re hot.
hahahaha, you haven´t seen me, then. If a girl asked me before a blind date how she would recognize me I would say: " If you see a guy and think by yourself: god, please don´t let it be him!, that´s me!" (and the sad thing is: this would not be a joke but the painful truth.)
🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪
That's weird because the one time I went to a bar in Germany, I got approached too many times and it was rather uncomfortable... never again
Welcome back !!!!
Thank you!!
I have a preference for tall with dark hair
Die Durchschnittsgröße der deutschen Männer ist mindestens 1,80 Meter
The height of men in the US and desirability as a partner is an unfortunate issue that can perhaps cause some men to feel insecure and self conscious. Older movies, TV shows and books actually state tall men are stronger, better protectors and more sexually appealing. This height thing is a mentality that still lingers subconsciously but I hope is going away.
It's the same everywhere.
why is height such a big thing in the US?
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If you put the speed at 0.25 at the part she fasted forward it sounds basically like an alien
I’m in a long distance relationship NY to Berlin now I live in Thailand still going strong we are in the same career we have a lot in common. Finally he will visit Thailand. I been following your TH-cam Chanel since 2019 and your intent has been very helpful. ❤️ my question to you why you cut your hair ? I’m going to cut mine like your but have mix emotions on it
09:00 As a German, I definitely can relate to that, didn't think that was gonna happen more often, though (if that generalisation for German men is correct).
Germans once had the reputation of being more "cerebral", ie. rational and in a way also schizoid, thus less emotive and more self-controlled.
This might be advantageous in some areas and disadvantageous in others ...
how to date a american women would be nice... its that difficult, like impossible... ty from a german guy
I would prefer the American way.... I am German and a lot of German men are "beziehungsunfähig". I am lucky. My husband was a friend of my friends and that was how we met each other. But most of the singles search on dating apps and that does not work. Too many opportunities, too many choices. They date one girl, get a message from another which is maybe more pretty and they will never call the first girl again..... That is how it goes today. Very very sad and I am so thankful, that I am not single today.
Where do you think those dating apps originate from? the US. Of course there are German ones but the concept is an American one that has spread to other countries. OKCupid, eHarmony, Tinder...all American. And they were designed for the American dating scene hence the things you don't like about them- moving from one to the next quickly, the superficiality of it, the "too many choices, too many opportunities" as you put it are all American consumer values applied to dating. And the reason why it devalues relationships and dating.
Dann hast du einfach nur die Arschlöcher kennen gelernt, ich kann als mann sowas auch nicht gutheissen, wenn ich eine Freundin suche dann gilt ihr meine aufmerksamkeit, da such ich bestimmt nicht noch nach einer die hübscher ist. Der Charakter der Frau steht an erster stelle, und wenn der zu mir passt, können so viele heisse Frauen kommen wie wollen, die lass ich dann stehen :D
Welch Ironie, meine Erfahrung ist, dass deutsche und in Deutschland lebende Frauen beziehungsunfähig sind.
Isn't it nice that you still have a person that knows you and what you want. When both partners have the feelings that they are no more in love why not stay as friends. What is very important: both have to be serious and no one has the feelings to be cheated!
I must be really old fashioned bc i am not like typical American,& moreso like german folks( maybe bc my mom was German,& my dad was so respectful of my mom and other women).
Truth though, Americans in general could use some improvement.
Ps i really like that color on you!
You're so fun to watch love the video
Do women approach men in Germany?
She is an exceedingly attractive woman with a perfect skin tone : )
You mean with perfect make up skills?
@@nihilisticmonkeydancing9806 You mean that that gorgeous, perfect dark skin is not natural???? Say it isn't so!!!! : 0
My mom tought me, that also women enjoy sex, and that it is totally ok, to hae sex with a person you don't love, just cause you enjoy it. Just be honest about it, dont't tell any lies just to get laid.
After you get the "desperation for sex" out of the datingprocess, you are really able to get to know your partner. And this can become the foundation of a lifelong relationship.
Sex is a nice side effect, of finding a partner, but should never be the fonudation or reason for a relationship. For it is way easier, to have sex then sharing you life.
don't look anymore disney makes you sick
I think you just hit on a point too. Lot of people dont feel comfortable being still and quiet. The pandemic has probably helped some with this.
It turns out that the height thing functioned as a rough proxy for what kind of resources were available to children in a given society and rank within it. Furthermore, a peculiar genetic pattern occurs, whereby as a population's childhood health improves, so does the average height of that population; if it declines, so does average height; if it stagnates, so does average height. It is most interesting...
I’m an Asian male that’s 6’2 and in no way small in any aspect( just had to put that out there because of that jab you took at us)
Jon Doe a rarity don’t make a norm
An Asian male who is 6'2" is a mutant. Expect a lot of deformed offspring
and how many other Asians >6' do you know?
@@WS3838 yao ming, yi jianlian, jeremy lin, yutaki hagiwara, Mengke Bateer and finaly, my father in law. .....
Just because Asians are smaller on average, does not mean that there are less tall people in Asia. Don't forget. >1.000.0000 in China alone
That's like saying all Americans are obese or overweight just because the average is. But we all know a lot of Americans that aren't.
Well, on the plus side, men and women become friends with each other in the hopes the other party has dateable friends, so the interact with each other and learn from the other gender in the process without sexual motives towards the person you are friends with.
Love your videos so interesting 😂😂
Only thing i dont like is that sometimes groups of friends can be so enmeshed that if there is a break up or divorce, it could be so messy or awkward. I knew a group of friends from UK for a time( i was becoming closer with a gal in group)and they were all cheating on each other behind backs, and I just had to escape bc it was too dysfunctional for me
A real German woman are loyal and understanding.
Personally, as a man, I like the fact that I am NOT expected to pay for the woman when we go out on a date in Germany!! In most cases, I was far poorer than the girls I went out with (both in Canada and in Germany). In Germany, the woman was never upset or surprised when I asked for separate checks; in Canada, I would have to tell her that before we went on a date (and a few declined)! And I am seldomly the first to initiate sex, I'd rather wait until they are ready and they let you know! I had a parttime job while I was in college and that income barely covered rent, tuition, books and food let alone dating and tuition back then was far less than now and after second year we had an eight-month work term (it was a co-op engineering diploma)! The co-op job paid more than my part-time job but it was far from a living wage until I started to work overtime!! Nowadays women can easily earn as much if not more than men and should not expect men to cover the cost of dating!
Man nehme einen Atlas und ein Geschichtsbuch und erkennt warum wir in Deutschland so unterschiedlich aussehen: Wir liegen in Zentraleuropa und seit Ewigkeiten sind wir Durchreise- und Einwanderungsland. Und eins haben alle Menschen zu allen Zeiten gemeinsam: Sie hinterlassen sehr gerne ihre Gene wo auch immer sie sind. - Zitat von irgendwo auf Twitter: And I think this ist beautiful! :-) -
Ha! Back to your favorite topic ;)
Join a specific interest club.
Love your videos
@Hayley
You could have just looked up the average male heights of typical countries people are migrating from. ;-)
I googled that and also stumbled over maps for body hair and penis size. xD
That is a very logical thought 😂😂😂 i mean I won’t deny that I have come across the penis size websites and I also won’t deny that I might have looked 🙈😂
@@HayleyAlexis
Data is pretty... inconsistent though. :-P
I cannot stand the term "dating" - or rather the "rules" that come with it. If you see a cute guy - ask him out.
Men will ALWAYS lose a lot of respect for a girl who asks them out. Because if you think about it the most desirable women NEVER ask a guy out. So if you want to be more desirable to him, don't ask him out!! I'm warning you ladies. You will come off super thirsty and desperate. It's a major turn off to guys. He will never take you seriously after this. It doesn't matter how much we don't like 'the rules' they are tried and true.
We don't call it that in Ireland either. Here you just chat to someone in a bar or club when you've both had a few drinks to get over nerves and, well that's it really. No-one would ever ask someone on a date in a park or start chatting up a stranger on the street. You'd be seen as a weirdo 😆
@dev0n james no, hooking sounds more like a ONS. But this is about actual relationships
That's a very Icelandic point of view and not common in the rest of the world. Though I love the very confident Icelandic women.
@@funbun5698 out of which dark hole are you coming? Asking out is not asking "ficken?" but is just to do the first step and approach. Nobody will loose respect for such a behavior (except in a conservative Turkish community)
wow... hayley i love you but german men dont date for sex. they want to get to know the girl and then have a relationship. sex is not a goal... its a part of the relationship. what makes you think like that?
ehhh you show me a couple that does not have sex then I will believe that
Ja Ja
i think social distancing is part of german culture but germans compensate this trough clubs or associations (dont know how to prnc). Germany has a huge club culture for any kind of interests where u can meet new friends and people like sport clubs or other stuff. Its not common to speak to a random person out on the streets or in public.
I know we are not good in delivering a nice dating expirience...but we also don't have the magic "friendzone" that Americans seem to fear. I allmost allways, got into a relationship with girls that were friends. It's a logic step. Not so much in the USA, I guess. Off course there is no official date culture envolved when transitioning from friend to girlfriend. We just hang out with each other...and get intimate.
I actually forgot to mention the imaginary "friendzone" and lack of labels in Germany! Such a big difference!!
@@HayleyAlexis Wow really no friend zone? Thats so interesting and maybe deserves a video. In America the friend zone is a big deal and like everyone's nightmare. We are still debating whether or not men and women who are attracted to each other can be 'just friends'. They can't in my opinion. How do Germans avoid it? In America you can't ever escape the friends zone. Maybe it's because of how we flirt? I heard in another video by another american girl that german guys are more blunt and direct. While American guys beat around the bush more. I'm tired of american guys and their passive aggressiveness and lack of honesty because really that's what it comes down to you not being honest with yourself about your feelings. They waste so much time and life is short. They act like little boys, not men. I would be pissed if my guy said he "used to" have feelings for one of his female friends. If you're still friends with someone you like who rejected you then you'll never get over them, you'll most likely just fall harder and feel jealous of their partners. And if you respect yourself why do that to yourself? You're still looking for hope and haven't let go. That's not a man in my opinion.
@@funbun5698 We date inside and "beneath" our circle of friends. You don't have to do that! But you can and many do. But that's more about getting into a relationship and not just about getting kinky.
You can approach girls in the club or bar, but this mostly happens after she gave OK to be approached via bodylanguage. Then you can make a pass on her and she can turn you down, because she just wanted the attention...or don't turn you down...this all usually ends in intimacy with no real deep further connection. Getting friends or friends of friends as girlfriends is the goto way, as far as I know.
TremereTT i don’t agree with that we definitely have „friendzone“ in Germany
@@leonardcoop7361 Never came across a friendzone in my youth. Also several of my friends became couples and even married. I live in the Ruhrgebiet where did you get friendzoned? Are you a 4chan citizen?
You can change your skin colour. just jump into a bucket of Paint. Thats how i became blue
... picked the wrong bucket
Typical German government Civil servant. I am a civil servant. I hate it when my colleagues acting like that. It is the older generation. They are rude and disrespectful. Before I was a civil servant I had the same situation like you. No smiling, not being friendly and so on. In every department was the same.
Today I know why these people doing this. Because they are unhappy with the bureaucracy and as a civil servant in Germany you have not many options to make a career. You're supervisor acting like that and the subordinate do the same to the citizens. It's really sad. I don't do this to citizens oder foreign people. But we are another generation. We're younger and we thinking global and we are happier with our life. Ämter/Angestellte müssen freundlich sein!!! We're getting payed for that. Next time come to me🤪👍
I tell you some Beamtenwitze!
Zümpatısch ist die richtige Aussprache von sympatisch btw, y=ü mach weiter so, continue comme ça, keep up the good work
Hi Hayley...german guys dont like to show their feelings even if they are around you for a long time...or they act like child...🤓😊
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A very good sample.
germany is not scandinavia, blonds here
It's funny that many outside Germany assume that Hitler's beauty ideal applied to most Germans, rather than to a minority among mostly brown-haired and brown-eyed people like Hitler himself. What's even more funny is that most of the blonde part in the modern German gene pool most probably came from assimilated Slavs and Baltic people (including the original Prussians).
@@Daneelro Hitler had blue eyes, get your facts straight.
Haha, that is not what you said the last time you broached this topic. I recall that the last time you said that height was an important sticking point for you. Is this authentic growth in sophistication or political correctness? Hmmm
Im hoping growth 😂
Hey I think I’m a German man in an American body!
your last name is definitely german... :-)
Anne Banane You’re right
It is kind of revealing but it surely has some sense, just to skip the opportunity for quick sex even if it is here (both want it if there is attraction), and put some time to gauge the compatibility, is it sustainable, and at the end what is it for. Just scoring is not something that makes sense, simply without connection on a deeper level why to pursue intimacy.
I need need need a similar video on German guys vs Canadian guys! 😑 where do I find it!
Look at Diana’s channel. She’s Canadian and living in Berlin’s. She might have something similar but I don’t think she’s dating a German
@@HayleyAlexis thank you so much, Hayley! Will take a look 😺
Have you set the "private" videos public again?
They were deleted :(
do german guys like german-american girls?
Also depends on your voice. I personally find most (Anglo-)American women really off-putting by their voices.
Zzy It really depends... Eine deutsche Frau hat es gesagt, dass ich akzentfrei Deutsch spreche. ich bin mit Deutsch aufgewachsen.
Zzy If you mean by accent in English, that’s 100% your issue, not mine. 🤷🏼♀️
@@anna_hbz I'm not talking about the variety American English. As a non-native English speaker I have a penchant for a specific (ie. I chose one) variety, but that wasn't my point.
I discovered that compared to eg. GB, American women often sound displeasing, I can't tell why. It's a combination of vocal pitch, intonation and manner of speaking which I find unalluring. Once I've been to Canada and as soon as I crossed the Quebec border to Ontario, women sounded that way.
@@zzy2620 i have noticed one thing: many women here have a higher pitched voice. i have a lower voice, though.
I think the approach is quit the opposite.
Europeans want to know first how the other person is like bevor they are ready for a relationahip. Sometimes its not enough for relationship, but you can still be friends without bad feelings. The american way is more like fast forward to the bedroom and after that we find out who the other person really is.
And iam honestly surprised that the size chart still is splitted in different ethnices for US men.
Well YOU could just go ask him first instead then lol. Instead of waiting.
And if you dont want too, well then you know why they dont want too aswell. Same reason maybe :)
Could just be respect of your privacy aswell up here near the nordic contries honestly. Or they didtn go to town to meet someone, but still think you look cute and cant help looking at you :)
I met my boyfriend through a mutual friend.. in June this year we're two years together
You are very lucky :p
to have a normal conversation with your ex is difficult for everyone, dont overhype germans ;) but i get where your coming from
Hey! Beautiful have you ever dated non European looking guys and if not would you?
This makes sense as to why the German man that I’m getting to know is so sexual towards me. This all makes sense...
The culture is so different in this way...🤔
So, they aren’t dating with sex as the main goal. They’re dating with potentially more in mind...and they apparently really like you if they go that far with you.?
Im learning to understand how he works...cause I’ve been struggling. Mine is Swiss German.