In the sixth grade for some reason every day our math teacher would read the obituaries out loud to the class. I'll never know what the hell that was all about.
Reminding you that your time will run out. And you got to spend a lot of it sitting in class learning about how government works (and then growing up and finding out it just doesn’t)
There are some comedians where your like “Yeaa I can see him being funny in a social setting but as a stand-up comedian!?? Ehhh not so much.” Not Patton. He was created and BORN to be a stand-up comedian. He’s one of the greatest of all time.
It made me remember the time I was in Amsterdam, 1981, when pot was just starting to move out of the bars and into the coffee shops. In the bars, patrons would roll their own "joints". They would mix a gram with a large amt of tobacco, and it was a thing to pass around. Ppl would hold on to it for a while before passing it on. Also, they would fashion a "filter" from the cardboard of a matchbook. It was held it your hand in a way that your mouth did not touch it. When I rolled an American style joint, it got some funny looks.
4:18 "They'll bring their bullsh--" 🫨🫨🫨 Patton Oswalt is my all-time favorite comedian in the world and I've never seen or heard him curse in all my life... until now! 🤣🤣🤣
The joke and title of the special just shreds me everytime I think if it. The context of the narrative just adds to the line. 70s SF Bay Area kid here...I've prolly heard "inner child" yada yada yada a few thousand times at this point. I've even said it myself. Predictably, The Man came the very next day and tore up my man card. 👍 Bastids.
Back in this era I used to imagine what it would be like to go to an Amsterdam coffee shop and experience the tabooed devils flower. 2 days ago I bought legal weed from a drive thru in effing Ohio in the most pedestrian way imaginable. Weird.
@@clawabidingcitizen Norm's special came out in 2011. Although he could have been telling that joke for years. 2 of my favorite comedians but they are very close in the premise.
If you study forest succession, after a fire or other clearing, the first plants to move in are very different than the eventual much taller and more longer lived plants, such as the white oak trees used for bourbon barrels. Each has its purpose and time, and all are important for something. If things change so they are useless, it is extinction time.
I think in reality there is a middle ground. You can't be wimpy to found a country, but you also don't have to be a sociopath, which is what a lot of conservatives believe.
@@waitselljones8068 There IS a middle ground. Unfortunately greed, selfishness, racism, sexism, homophobia, fear of the unknown/different and the desire to be in control of everything and everyone is the problem. And that's not a political statement, that's just my observation of how much simpler life could be for everyone if they all just chilled the heck out and treated each other with the same respect and love that they feel they're entitled to.
Perhaps the doctors hoped that him having to grow a nose upside down on his forehead for an entire year ffs... ...would have inticed him to change his mind...because who would ever accept such a thing..!? "Well, if you're gunna be dumb...you gotta be tough..!!"
It’s an obvious joke, it’s commonly said about people who have passed away from the C saying, you can make a joke saying the opposite. You reframe a common saying or situation and reverse it. That’s a percentage of all standup
The top story Anne Frank and her family lived in was gigantic. There's no way any person with eyes didn't see that full on apartment with big windows. She also died of the Typhus Plague as accounted by many witnesses in the camp she was in. Can anyone name that camp? 200 bonus points in it for you!!!!
My dad used to say, “I read the obituaries every morning, if I’m not in them I go to work.” Very funny and very serious all at once. Quite a man.
The irony of his ‘phantom wife’ comment is heart breaking.
At least it's not a rhino
Also saying he was like Templeton the Rat was oddly prophetic. Ratatouille.
Glad his new woman is around washes mad cool
Young Patton is incredibly funny. It's bitter sweet when he talks to his imaginary wife.
Why? What happened?
OH! Diagnosed fentanyl and undiagnosed heart problem.
Ah, gotta love old Patton, before the world was dark enough to actually appreciate his style of comedy.
Except for Robin Williams, all comics cease to be funny with age.
Patton Oswalt was hysterically funny when starting out.
@@richardtidwell4361 cork it, deadbeat
In the sixth grade for some reason every day our math teacher would read the obituaries out loud to the class. I'll never know what the hell that was all about.
Hopeless romantic
Dude was a serial killer
That’s Werid
Reminding you that your time will run out. And you got to spend a lot of it sitting in class learning about how government works (and then growing up and finding out it just doesn’t)
Love that! To the kids:
Do the math, you will all die eventually, it's just simple math! Ha ha ha! Sweet Dreams!
This guy's mayonnaise delivery was so good. He's got such a talent.
he sounds exactly like Morty
There are some comedians where your like “Yeaa I can see him being funny in a social setting but as a stand-up comedian!?? Ehhh not so much.” Not Patton. He was created and BORN to be a stand-up comedian. He’s one of the greatest of all time.
He better be doing stand up in heaven when we all get there
It made me remember the time I was in Amsterdam, 1981, when pot was just starting to move out of the bars and into the coffee shops. In the bars, patrons would roll their own "joints". They would mix a gram with a large amt of tobacco, and it was a thing to pass around. Ppl would hold on to it for a while before passing it on. Also, they would fashion a "filter" from the cardboard of a matchbook. It was held it your hand in a way that your mouth did not touch it.
When I rolled an American style joint, it got some funny looks.
Snobbery
"like templeton the rat from charlotte's web" - Ratatouille just got a whole lot darker
I saw Patton back in 2019. He was so hilarious. It was unreal seeing Spence Olchin from the King of Queens show.
That show is underrated and still smacks
King of Queens was pretty good
I like how the audio is so quiet on the official comedy Central channel lmao
"He loves life, he won't let go"
ha ha ha!
I saw him about a year ago. It's amazing seeing him back when he was younger than I am now.
Ah the sixth grade, the age when the prettiest girl in school was still your math teacher.
English teacher for me.
Reminds me, I need to give Miss Lawless a call..
Hello everyone enjoy your day
u have a BETTER day casey 🫶🏽
showin' up to work regardless of any obstacle. patton oswalt is a true badass
The headling out to see him in Dallas tonight. I love this guy
the fact that htis is from 1999 but most of the jokes are still completely relevant is bot hilarious and a bit unsettling.
This is throwback as hell. I remember watching this special as teen when MySpace was a thing. He was my fav. Nostalgia.
4:18 "They'll bring their bullsh--"
🫨🫨🫨 Patton Oswalt is my all-time favorite comedian in the world and I've never seen or heard him curse in all my life... until now! 🤣🤣🤣
What? He curses like a sailor. Are you a new fan?
@@eamon2please Damn right, I am!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
15:48 "HAPPY EASTER AND BITE MY WRINKLY ****!!!!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
He curses as punctuation rather than commonly used words. It's an art form. 🤘
@@oregoncoastbeachcomber2060 Oh. Like, why didn't I think of that before?
This guy is funny af in reno 911 as dungeons boy rofl True funny
He's probably my favorite comedian....and you know he's good because I mainly disagree with his political beliefs, but you can't deny FUNNY.
Okay, he was funny back in the day, but saying he's your absolute favorite is a little extreme
I luv how he tells the cameraman to "GTFO" in the intro..!! xD
I only know him because of ratatouille and Minecraft story mode😭
Are you 12
@@notveryniceatall nope
Nah same here
I adore this guy.
One of my all time favorites. Patton
Big Papa Patton general of peace and hope thru laughter. Thanks for the laugh medicine for eons
So good! That depression was running free like a bronco on the open plain though. Glad to see you are better now Patton. 😁
Most knowledge is forbidden unless. All ready taken and given.
The joke and title of the special just shreds me everytime I think if it. The context of the narrative just adds to the line.
70s SF Bay Area kid here...I've prolly heard "inner child" yada yada yada a few thousand times at this point. I've even said it myself. Predictably, The Man came the very next day and tore up my man card. 👍
Bastids.
Now, what have we learned?
Apparently this was originally aired on my third birthday lol. It's crazy how well it holds up today.
I think God gave us laughter to remind us to not take life so seriously...chill out and relax....don't try to carry the world on your shoulders 😉❤️
Why do you think God gave us child cancer?
@@coletrickle1775 cause he's God 😂
Patton came a long way since then.
I love the idea of a, Midnight in the Olive Garden of Good and Evil, written by Patton Oswald. "Two bread sticks in the bucket, mother bus it."
Back in this era I used to imagine what it would be like to go to an Amsterdam coffee shop and experience the tabooed devils flower. 2 days ago I bought legal weed from a drive thru in effing Ohio in the most pedestrian way imaginable. Weird.
19:24 i cannot stop weazing laughing at this
I used to love his material and cry and laughter. I don’t know ifs me or just him and this material. Anyone reading this know some things we don’t??
He was ahead of his time. The crowd just didn't get it. Over their heads.
Oh, Patton, if only you knew you could have the Amsterdam experience just down the street from your house in 20 years
Shows how much times have changed that he was bragging about weed that apparently had seeds in it. 😅
SLATHERED, Bernie.
I finally figured it out! Patton is just a tall midget. He's so cute waving his short little arms around. Adorable!
Wow, baby Patton
Patton's cancer joke is very similar to Norm McDonnel's cancer joke.
Well this was taped in 1999, so make if that what you will
@@clawabidingcitizen Norm's special came out in 2011. Although he could have been telling that joke for years. 2 of my favorite comedians but they are very close in the premise.
I’m sure if he copied Patton it was subconsciously and not intentional.
It was an Onion article first I think
It's weird to hear Patton talk about "getting old" at age 30 when now he's 55 😅
The OG Justin Roiland Morty voice
You know what character you should be? Cupid. Still in Amherst.
The blade joke. Was it foreshadowing?
4:05 This was around the time that inspired SILVER SCREEN FIEND.
I don't Wanna Die 😂🎉 but you get Tired 😩
"SKY CAKE..!!"
Home boy is on point.
Wonder who plays bass on the outro theme. James Genus?
he is so funny
That last bit was nothing to sneeze at.
8:15 Had to pause to check out Supergras, am now down the rabbit hole. I bet the rest was funny tho
I want to hear him talk about Star Wars.
😂😂😂 Brace Brace ❤ ✈️
"Starbucks liberalism" is now a term I am going to use
The sound mixing for this is incredibly low
Literally everything posted to TH-cam by Comedy Central.
@@clawabidingcitizen unfortunately you're right. I'll still point it out though
Super funny
We've been too the Dolphin Coffeeshop!
If I looked like a Picasso painting, I might consider self-harm as well.
My best friend was that person who hated to laugh.
January 10 is my birthday, that's hillarious
I see Jesse is doing well in beacon town.
HEY IT'S JESSE!!! 🤩⭐
Judging by the build, the clothes, and the haircut, I'd say it's a hobbit.
Ooof the sound quality..
He just turned 30 here, wow
I'm now older than he was when he recorded this and I don't know how to feel about it lol
Oswalt the man child
Pot became legal and now it's just not Fun Anymore... 😹🤔
He got better later
Not everyone functions very well when stoned.
I love Patton, generally, but he got a little dark in this one for my taste. Nobody cares, right?
I will say he's absolutely spot on about liberals watching old movies and the type of person our ancestors had to be in order to conquer this country.
If you study forest succession, after a fire or other clearing, the first plants to move in are very different than the eventual much taller and more longer lived plants, such as the white oak trees used for bourbon barrels. Each has its purpose and time, and all are important for something. If things change so they are useless, it is extinction time.
@@jeffruebens8355 There is a lot to unpack in your very well worded comment my friend.
I think in reality there is a middle ground. You can't be wimpy to found a country, but you also don't have to be a sociopath, which is what a lot of conservatives believe.
@@waitselljones8068
There IS a middle ground.
Unfortunately greed, selfishness, racism, sexism, homophobia, fear of the unknown/different and the desire to be in control of everything and everyone is the problem.
And that's not a political statement, that's just my observation of how much simpler life could be for everyone if they all just chilled the heck out and treated each other with the same respect and love that they feel they're entitled to.
😄💯👍
😂😂
Hi Jesse (from mcsm)
5:14
17:00
Patton got away with murder
Pat,
You gotta know that you can say no, you, (respectfully) a-sexual promoter you.
Love ya, yo boy
Perhaps the doctors hoped that him having to grow a nose upside down on his forehead for an entire year ffs...
...would have inticed him to change his mind...because who would ever accept such a thing..!?
"Well, if you're gunna be dumb...you gotta be tough..!!"
Ah, his spectral wife...
I just want to know when this was originally released because norm macdonald had avery similar joke about cancer.
1999
It’s an obvious joke, it’s commonly said about people who have passed away from the C saying, you can make a joke saying the opposite. You reframe a common saying or situation and reverse it. That’s a percentage of all standup
Damn Patton looks 12 in this vid.
I'm 6 feet tall and never been stoned.
Ah....comedy before the World ended.
Dr Lesterman. I'm sorry to bother you but i think i'm close to a temper control incident.
its jesse
But it is tho
It's odd how quaint this routine sounds now. TV somehow got a whole lot better AND a whole lot worse since then.
I see where Tom Segura got his stand up from.
Except Patton dosent hate the poors
Oh MyY gOsH ItS Guy frOm MinEcRAfT sTorY mODe11!!
Those comments about his wife …
Im sorry. But to ME he is Koenig
The top story Anne Frank and her family lived in was gigantic. There's no way any person with eyes didn't see that full on apartment with big windows. She also died of the Typhus Plague as accounted by many witnesses in the camp she was in. Can anyone name that camp? 200 bonus points in it for you!!!!
Go touch grass
Patton was funny, but that crowd sucked.
🎈