I have a MLS niece w/ a white mother--its my UADS brother's ex-gf (we have different parents so are mixture is not the same). Not too long ago the mother decided to cut off my niece's hair offwhile she was sleeping BUT she woke up while she was doing it. She called her father and told him; he didn't know how to handle the situation (he can be such a moron sometimes, hence why he impregnated this lunatic) so he asked my aunt (she's extremely fiery) to handle the situation. My niece's mother's excuse was that she was getting too much attention👀 My brother was furious b/c my niece would call him crying her mother took away her hair and she had to wear it like that at school... I hope there are more hair horror story videos b/c I have alot, including my own
I’m not surprised at all! And have you ever noticed that people call young pretty girls “grown” or “fast”? Aka they’re getting too much male attention ? why does no one ever address the guys giving attention to us when we are underage?
@@ExoticalsUnited You're right! B/c I was called "grown" and "fast" but I didn't even act all sexual like the other girls did🤷♀️ I had one aunt who didn't like how I walked so she always "instructed" me on how to walk. This lasted for about two years until I got to the 9th grade and I put my foot down. We didn't speak for make 6 yrs after that lol; now we are each others favor ppl LOL, funny how that works. But you're right. When you are considered "attractive" you are a target and if you don't build up a strong resolve (after realizing what you're up against first) then it can take you under-- it almost took me under until I realized I rather just be pretty and have less friends then to have my self-esteem beat down and have alot of friends. Smh no, that's not fair and I'm not playing that role anymore.
Oh my goodness listening to this made me cry right here at work. I am so sorry that happened to the sender. So much love for you girl 💛 I remember how my mother’s “friend” treated me when doing my hair. Ripping out my edges, calling my hair thin and naturally damaged when it’s just curly. People think we are exaggerating, but we’ve suffered real abuse from the black community!
yes omg! all of our stories have so many commonalities! i remember girls used to say my hair was damaged because my curls are loose. i also remember being called tender headed because my unambiguous family members would brush and comb my hair too hard, to the point where it would form bumps around my forehead.
@PrincessPink-is6kf I wish you lived close to me . I wish there was more of us together. It's starting to be. I was the only one growing up in the 90's. Something always wrong with them ,they complain about everything and bully pretty mixed girls
When people told me, they think I think I'm all that, I would say, No, You think I'm all that! 😂 These people are programmed to have an inferiority complex. I blame it on society and patriarchy.
Yes inferiority complex is literally imbedded to their culture I’ve seen black girls making videos saying “I hate my 4c hair” or they say they’re at the bottom of the beauty scale. So a lot of them literally train themselves to believe that they’re the least privileged, least beautiful, etc.
I can relate to the young lady's story. Unfortunately, some of the bullying came from my own mom. May she rest in peace. She admitted that she chose my dad who is Puerto Rican so she can have a light skinned child, and that she had a baby because she wanted someone to love her. She was a teenager at the time. You'd be surprised how many women do this. I suppose having a light skinned baby was fun for her at first because it was like having a pretty handbag (she received attention) until I grew older, and she realized it would force her to face her own insecurities. She was attractive, but desiring, worshipping or being desperate for the male gaze is a powerful desire that often times complicates female relationships.
I have a video coming soon about regretful parents of MLS daughters . you’re a pet when you’re small but if the mother is jealous she will get mad when people think she’s your nanny, or when people compliment you more than they complimented her when she was younger, etc.
I also experienced this with my own mother! She isn’t even that dark she is definitely more brown skin but has UABW features and she wouldn’t let me live it down. Plus she would constantly compare our looks and say we look exactly alike but I always felt like I looked like my father (who is LS) and his mother (who is Biracial) the most from my family. She’s also been making sly comments about my body as I was an obese/over weight child and teenager due to trauma but I turned that all around starting in my early 20s including some of her indoctrination from when I was a child. I’m so sorry this happened to you 😢 it’s hard what we had to go through and how much it gets down played because we’re lighter skinned, favorable, and pretty!
@@naturallyhoneybrown I was nervous to mention it but I too went through what the sender went through and some of the antagonistic behavior came from my mother too. She's an UADW. I feel like she was picked on alot due to her dark skin and as a result, developed issues surrounding her blackness (in color) that she didn't get taken of of on a psychological level before she had children and she really should have. She wouldn't move back to the south b/c she didn't like it down there but life was much better for her (my other family has told me this); she has experienced more issues with her skin tone being further north b/c shes one of those UABW who tries to fit in with WW (thats alot of bk women's downfall I see)
When my hair is long and healthy, it’s becaused I’m mixed. When my hair is more damaged (due to coloring) and a little shorter, it’s because I am Black and “trying to do something to my hair that isn’t just for my hair type”. Only UABW will tell my these comments. Everyone else, across races and genders and cultures, find my hair beautiful. In Australia, in Ecuador, and in Mexico I have been told I am beautiful as is my hair.
@@ExoticalsUnited although my UABP half of my family tell me I am beautiful and uplift me, they did HEAVILY police what I did with my hair. Because I used to be in the scene/emo style I would give myself a shag/choppy cut and my Black family was horrified and told me I should be doing x, y, z yet none of them had healthy hair (this was before most of them went natural and late 2000’s time)….. i used to hate my hair when I was a kid and they told me how people would pay thousands for my hair. But when I asked them if that was true, why werent THEY wearing their natural hair, all I got was crickets…. It would have helped me so much to know that the Black women in my family rocked natural hair but the truth is, at the time, they did not love their God-given hair but didnt have the strength to tell me, a little 8 year old girl, I should love my curly hair because they did not love their kinky-coily hair. I just want to discuss texturism so much. I hate that for us, our stories are not considered valid because we have “good hair” 🙄. I was one of a few people with curly hair for YEARS at school, and even then, most other girls have looser curls which made me feel like I wasn’t mixed enough (UABP pointing out we are the same skintone to humble me). And now people who are just learning how to care for their own hair, have the audacity to tell me I never experienced hair discrimination because my hair is considered gold to the Black community….. I have only lived in counties where the Black people are at max 8% of the total population. How is being on a pedestal of less for than 10% of the population helpful for me? But I’m a colorist/texturist if I don’t acknowledge this “hair privilege” 😂. They just need to say they feel that my hair gives me first pick on Black men. Like girl, I can pass on that “privilege”. Men across all races want me because I am beautiful, intelligent and interesting. My hair is just the cherry on top! When I wear a headscarf or straighter/wavy hair pieces, I am still complimented on my facial beauty, my style, my smile and my intelligence.
Man this story makes me sad. My sis who was SA'd by an aunt who was jealous of my pretty, LS mother. My sis recognized the signs(my aunt was bullying me) and forced my parents to keep me away from her because she knew she disliked me for looking JUST like my mother and what would come next. In middle school I had 2 TEACHERS/COACHES...not children, grown ass women... beefing with me because I "thought I was too cute and too good" because I didn't want to be a cheerleader and got dressed separate from the weirdos in PE that would stare at my body. I literally heard them say this as I walked by them one day. I am a bonified introverted nerd. Like beta club, choir geek, & winning science fairs type. I clearly had no interests in cheerleading, but they insisted on targeting me because I didn't fit the stereotype they had of me in their heads.
Yes people have an obsession with wanting to control you because you’re like a real life Barbie doll to them. They want to control how you dress, how you look, what your hobbies are etc .
😩 “you think you cute/all that” and “your hair is pretty… what you mixed with?” has started so many targeted attacks from the people closest. I remember a stranger standing up for me against my “best friend” (non ambiguous) because this “friend” couldn’t take that I was getting yet ANOTHER compliment about my hair texture in her presence. I am gagging because this channel is helping me see that the attacks really aren’t personal 💜 Between this conversation and the conversation about regretful parents, I am so much more forgiving to a lot of the issues I suffered from. But I’m more forgiving towards myself because I let myself be “humbled” because of fear of being without family or friends.
Omg yes! I’ve had friends get mad when I would get a compliment ! When I was a teenager I would get a lot of compliments from adults, people would call me a teachers pet etc.
It was my Black Grandmother who always made that comment to me " You Think You're Cute". I was the lightest of my sisters and had the best shape. She would also remind me that I am more brown-skin and NOT lighskin.
My late mother (MLS) would often talk about stuff like that (Blackistan doesn't understand/realize that not everyone is from Texas/Louisiana/Oklahoma in the first place, as was the case in the early 1970's). I did my own thing out of necessity for my sanity.
Oh my goodness I'm so srry this happened to this girl and i can 1000% relate on the hair story 😮💔. My mum used to take me to this Nigerian ' friend ' and she was so jealous and hated me because i was prettier than her daughter. And she would purposefully braid my hair in ugly styles whilst her daughters hair looked good. She'd also mistreat me whilst i lived with her and her family as they were babysitting me and would make me sleep on the floor underneath the bunk beds and making my mum pay a fee for me living with them. Sometimes they wouldn't even feed me 💔💔💔 I've also noticed with hairdressers anytime i went to a darkskin hairdresser id have such a bad experience and would be in alot of pain. I noticed a huge difference ever since I've changed hairdressrs and started wearing a mask to the appointments. My hair is so much longer and healthier and the hair appointment experience is so good
omg yes! i never went to a salon again after a mono black girl tried to imply that my hair was more difficult to manage than her white customers. i have type 3 hair. imagine if i had made a negative comment about her type 4 hair! she was definitely trying to humble me and she was just mad because she couldn't work on as many hair customers that day.
I stopped going to hairdressers. They ALWAYS chop my hair off or they don't know how to style my curls. I do everything myself unless I want an actual hair cut...but I do my own straightening and trims. I used to even do my own coloring.
Their insecurity is so strong. I just looked at Flower Tower’s tragic channel and she’s still ranting about her hatred for light skin/mixed people. Maybe we should find the obsession flattering.
Girl at an old job, when I first started, a group of 5+ UABW were standing just watching me and I thought it was so weird. One of them came up to me to “assess my beauty” and yelled “SHE HAS A GAP” 🫢 I was like what the F? They all immediately disregarded me. It was a very strange interaction. A LOT of guys still continued to “holler” at me and at least two or three of them told me they didn’t even notice a gap 🙄 like it was really a topic of their conversations. The women would often tell me they didn’t know why I was receiving so much attention 🫤 like why do you even notice how much attention I’m getting?
I agree . I wear weave because I don’t like doing my own hair but I will wear it often still and I got it washed and pressed and a girl came up to me and work and ran her fingers through it and walked off and I’m all black but I have got fired from a job pregnant and just resting against something because we are down and had already cleaned (years ago ) and my boss looks up and says “ you think u to pretty to do anything” I looked around like I didn’t know she was talking to me so I pointed at myself and said said yes you who else I’m talking too and it upset me so bad because it was a lie I was pregnant and training people and she was a black women and all the men were saying “it’s cause your pretty “ don’t worry about and she got mad for them sticking up for me and fired me the next day for absolutely no reason
I have a MLS niece w/ a white mother--its my UADS brother's ex-gf (we have different parents so are mixture is not the same). Not too long ago the mother decided to cut off my niece's hair offwhile she was sleeping BUT she woke up while she was doing it. She called her father and told him; he didn't know how to handle the situation (he can be such a moron sometimes, hence why he impregnated this lunatic) so he asked my aunt (she's extremely fiery) to handle the situation. My niece's mother's excuse was that she was getting too much attention👀 My brother was furious b/c my niece would call him crying her mother took away her hair and she had to wear it like that at school... I hope there are more hair horror story videos b/c I have alot, including my own
I’m not surprised at all! And have you ever noticed that people call young pretty girls “grown” or “fast”? Aka they’re getting too much male attention ? why does no one ever address the guys giving attention to us when we are underage?
that is just so sad
@@ExoticalsUnited You're right! B/c I was called "grown" and "fast" but I didn't even act all sexual like the other girls did🤷♀️ I had one aunt who didn't like how I walked so she always "instructed" me on how to walk. This lasted for about two years until I got to the 9th grade and I put my foot down. We didn't speak for make 6 yrs after that lol; now we are each others favor ppl LOL, funny how that works. But you're right. When you are considered "attractive" you are a target and if you don't build up a strong resolve (after realizing what you're up against first) then it can take you under-- it almost took me under until I realized I rather just be pretty and have less friends then to have my self-esteem beat down and have alot of friends. Smh no, that's not fair and I'm not playing that role anymore.
Oh my goodness listening to this made me cry right here at work. I am so sorry that happened to the sender. So much love for you girl 💛 I remember how my mother’s “friend” treated me when doing my hair. Ripping out my edges, calling my hair thin and naturally damaged when it’s just curly. People think we are exaggerating, but we’ve suffered real abuse from the black community!
yes omg! all of our stories have so many commonalities! i remember girls used to say my hair was damaged because my curls are loose. i also remember being called tender headed because my unambiguous family members would brush and comb my hair too hard, to the point where it would form bumps around my forehead.
thank you for sharing your story! I hope you can share more soon!
@@PrincessPink-xomg ❤ ❤❤❤
@PrincessPink-is6kf I wish you lived close to me . I wish there was more of us together. It's starting to be. I was the only one growing up in the 90's. Something always wrong with them ,they complain about everything and bully pretty mixed girls
When people told me, they think I think I'm all that, I would say, No, You think I'm all that! 😂 These people are programmed to have an inferiority complex. I blame it on society and patriarchy.
Yes inferiority complex is literally imbedded to their culture I’ve seen black girls making videos saying “I hate my 4c hair” or they say they’re at the bottom of the beauty scale. So a lot of them literally train themselves to believe that they’re the least privileged, least beautiful, etc.
I used to say the same back at them!
I can relate to the young lady's story. Unfortunately, some of the bullying came from my own mom. May she rest in peace. She admitted that she chose my dad who is Puerto Rican so she can have a light skinned child, and that she had a baby because she wanted someone to love her. She was a teenager at the time. You'd be surprised how many women do this. I suppose having a light skinned baby was fun for her at first because it was like having a pretty handbag (she received attention) until I grew older, and she realized it would force her to face her own insecurities. She was attractive, but desiring, worshipping or being desperate for the male gaze is a powerful desire that often times complicates female relationships.
I have a video coming soon about regretful parents of MLS daughters . you’re a pet when you’re small but if the mother is jealous she will get mad when people think she’s your nanny, or when people compliment you more than they complimented her when she was younger, etc.
@@ExoticalsUnited looking foward to it
I also experienced this with my own mother! She isn’t even that dark she is definitely more brown skin but has UABW features and she wouldn’t let me live it down. Plus she would constantly compare our looks and say we look exactly alike but I always felt like I looked like my father (who is LS) and his mother (who is Biracial) the most from my family. She’s also been making sly comments about my body as I was an obese/over weight child and teenager due to trauma but I turned that all around starting in my early 20s including some of her indoctrination from when I was a child. I’m so sorry this happened to you 😢 it’s hard what we had to go through and how much it gets down played because we’re lighter skinned, favorable, and pretty!
@@tealepatterson7601 yep, I'm from gen x, so I'm hoping better for the younger generations since you have platforms, outlets etc. Be blessed
@@naturallyhoneybrown I was nervous to mention it but I too went through what the sender went through and some of the antagonistic behavior came from my mother too. She's an UADW. I feel like she was picked on alot due to her dark skin and as a result, developed issues surrounding her blackness (in color) that she didn't get taken of of on a psychological level before she had children and she really should have. She wouldn't move back to the south b/c she didn't like it down there but life was much better for her (my other family has told me this); she has experienced more issues with her skin tone being further north b/c shes one of those UABW who tries to fit in with WW (thats alot of bk women's downfall I see)
When my hair is long and healthy, it’s becaused I’m mixed. When my hair is more damaged (due to coloring) and a little shorter, it’s because I am Black and “trying to do something to my hair that isn’t just for my hair type”. Only UABW will tell my these comments. Everyone else, across races and genders and cultures, find my hair beautiful. In Australia, in Ecuador, and in Mexico I have been told I am beautiful as is my hair.
Right, and notice how others can comment on OUR bodies but we cannot comment on anyone else’s body or hair ?
@@ExoticalsUnited although my UABP half of my family tell me I am beautiful and uplift me, they did HEAVILY police what I did with my hair. Because I used to be in the scene/emo style I would give myself a shag/choppy cut and my Black family was horrified and told me I should be doing x, y, z yet none of them had healthy hair (this was before most of them went natural and late 2000’s time)….. i used to hate my hair when I was a kid and they told me how people would pay thousands for my hair. But when I asked them if that was true, why werent THEY wearing their natural hair, all I got was crickets…. It would have helped me so much to know that the Black women in my family rocked natural hair but the truth is, at the time, they did not love their God-given hair but didnt have the strength to tell me, a little 8 year old girl, I should love my curly hair because they did not love their kinky-coily hair.
I just want to discuss texturism so much. I hate that for us, our stories are not considered valid because we have “good hair” 🙄. I was one of a few people with curly hair for YEARS at school, and even then, most other girls have looser curls which made me feel like I wasn’t mixed enough (UABP pointing out we are the same skintone to humble me). And now people who are just learning how to care for their own hair, have the audacity to tell me I never experienced hair discrimination because my hair is considered gold to the Black community….. I have only lived in counties where the Black people are at max 8% of the total population. How is being on a pedestal of less for than 10% of the population helpful for me? But I’m a colorist/texturist if I don’t acknowledge this “hair privilege” 😂. They just need to say they feel that my hair gives me first pick on Black men. Like girl, I can pass on that “privilege”. Men across all races want me because I am beautiful, intelligent and interesting. My hair is just the cherry on top! When I wear a headscarf or straighter/wavy hair pieces, I am still complimented on my facial beauty, my style, my smile and my intelligence.
this!!
Man this story makes me sad. My sis who was SA'd by an aunt who was jealous of my pretty, LS mother. My sis recognized the signs(my aunt was bullying me) and forced my parents to keep me away from her because she knew she disliked me for looking JUST like my mother and what would come next.
In middle school I had 2 TEACHERS/COACHES...not children, grown ass women... beefing with me because I "thought I was too cute and too good" because I didn't want to be a cheerleader and got dressed separate from the weirdos in PE that would stare at my body. I literally heard them say this as I walked by them one day. I am a bonified introverted nerd. Like beta club, choir geek, & winning science fairs type. I clearly had no interests in cheerleading, but they insisted on targeting me because I didn't fit the stereotype they had of me in their heads.
Yes people have an obsession with wanting to control you because you’re like a real life Barbie doll to them. They want to control how you dress, how you look, what your hobbies are etc .
😩 “you think you cute/all that” and “your hair is pretty… what you mixed with?” has started so many targeted attacks from the people closest. I remember a stranger standing up for me against my “best friend” (non ambiguous) because this “friend” couldn’t take that I was getting yet ANOTHER compliment about my hair texture in her presence.
I am gagging because this channel is helping me see that the attacks really aren’t personal 💜 Between this conversation and the conversation about regretful parents, I am so much more forgiving to a lot of the issues I suffered from. But I’m more forgiving towards myself because I let myself be “humbled” because of fear of being without family or friends.
Omg yes! I’ve had friends get mad when I would get a compliment ! When I was a teenager I would get a lot of compliments from adults, people would call me a teachers pet etc.
@@ExoticalsUnited smh like why are you mad at my hair when you got a big ass booty 😂 damn can’t have nothing! 🤣🤣🤣
It was my Black Grandmother who always made that comment to me " You Think You're Cute". I was the lightest of my sisters and had the best shape. She would also remind me that I am more brown-skin and NOT lighskin.
They always say that shxt 😂😂😂 and I’m sick of it.
I’m black, Sweden, Irish, Native American, Jamaican, Haitian, and German. Oh my goodness!😫🤗🥹
I did not know that other women experience random hands shoved into their hair. What gives anyone the right to violate my personal space?
right! people treat you like a doll or something. they want to play in your hair or in some cases see if its real 🙄
I had a coworker walk up to me in the break room to tell me "You so prissy!" 😂😂😂😂 Girl WHAT!? I'll knock all this shit over!
My late mother (MLS) would often talk about stuff like that (Blackistan doesn't understand/realize that not everyone is from Texas/Louisiana/Oklahoma in the first place, as was the case in the early 1970's). I did my own thing out of necessity for my sanity.
right!
Omg I'm so sorry that happened to her. This isn't a surprise at this point, just devastating
Ive heard this all my life
Right 😭😭
Oh my goodness I'm so srry this happened to this girl and i can 1000% relate on the hair story 😮💔. My mum used to take me to this Nigerian ' friend ' and she was so jealous and hated me because i was prettier than her daughter. And she would purposefully braid my hair in ugly styles whilst her daughters hair looked good. She'd also mistreat me whilst i lived with her and her family as they were babysitting me and would make me sleep on the floor underneath the bunk beds and making my mum pay a fee for me living with them. Sometimes they wouldn't even feed me 💔💔💔 I've also noticed with hairdressers anytime i went to a darkskin hairdresser id have such a bad experience and would be in alot of pain. I noticed a huge difference ever since I've changed hairdressrs and started wearing a mask to the appointments. My hair is so much longer and healthier and the hair appointment experience is so good
Congrats on 11k!🥳
I can't even get my hair done professionally because of the hair jealousy. Smh
omg yes! i never went to a salon again after a mono black girl tried to imply that my hair was more difficult to manage than her white customers. i have type 3 hair. imagine if i had made a negative comment about her type 4 hair! she was definitely trying to humble me and she was just mad because she couldn't work on as many hair customers that day.
I stopped going to hairdressers. They ALWAYS chop my hair off or they don't know how to style my curls. I do everything myself unless I want an actual hair cut...but I do my own straightening and trims. I used to even do my own coloring.
Their insecurity is so strong. I just looked at Flower Tower’s tragic channel and she’s still ranting about her hatred for light skin/mixed people. Maybe we should find the obsession flattering.
Girl at an old job, when I first started, a group of 5+ UABW were standing just watching me and I thought it was so weird. One of them came up to me to “assess my beauty” and yelled “SHE HAS A GAP” 🫢 I was like what the F? They all immediately disregarded me. It was a very strange interaction. A LOT of guys still continued to “holler” at me and at least two or three of them told me they didn’t even notice a gap 🙄 like it was really a topic of their conversations. The women would often tell me they didn’t know why I was receiving so much attention 🫤 like why do you even notice how much attention I’m getting?
I myself myself am unambiguous so I thought it was so weird 🤷🏾♀️ like aren’t women supposed to stick together?
Wow
Some women only stick together until another pretty woman walks into the room smh
This is heartbreaking
Listening and learning quietly from the back row. 🙏🏾💗
Wow, I had a lot of this happen to me in high and middle school even from teachers 😬
Smh I’m not surprised
I agree . I wear weave because I don’t like doing my own hair but I will wear it often still and I got it washed and pressed and a girl came up to me and work and ran her fingers through it and walked off and I’m all black but I have got fired from a job pregnant and just resting against something because we are down and had already cleaned (years ago ) and my boss looks up and says “ you think u to pretty to do anything” I looked around like I didn’t know she was talking to me so I pointed at myself and said said yes you who else I’m talking too and it upset me so bad because it was a lie I was pregnant and training people and she was a black women and all the men were saying “it’s cause your pretty “ don’t worry about and she got mad for them sticking up for me and fired me the next day for absolutely no reason
Hopefully someone will do workshops about these topics in schools, work places, etc.
Thank you!! 🌻🌻
Yesss the twist out comment 😂 got that many times . The amount of times UABW touched my hair is annoying
Yes ! 😂