Fascinating! The more I learn about narcissism from credible sources including you, Dr. Malkin, (and a few others of course) the better equipped I feel as a lay person to be able to sift through the nonsense regarding the disorder. It seems as though there’s been an influx of misinformation regarding pathological narcissism-it has my head spinning at times regarding separating what’s fact from fiction. Your book was the first that I bought on the topic (now, after about 3 years I have a mini library on narcissism lol 😉📚) and I can’t thank you enough for helping me and my husband navigate through some pretty heavy stuff. It may sound ridiculous but I think your book (among the others) may have changed the course of our life in a way that nothing else could have. We both feel like we woke up out of a very long nightmare and we’re not confused anymore. Again-thank you so very much. 🙏🏻♥️
Wow--such an wonderful comment in so many ways... I'm just taking it in. Thank you for letting me know your experience and deepest thanks for sharing it in such a kind, supportive way. I'm overwhelmed. Wow.
This presentation cast a lot of light on their inner workings and also provided more context to last week's video. If I understood it correctly, grandiose narcissists and regular people share character-constancy in common, whereas covert narcissists are more flexible in their character. It seems to me that grandiose narcissists are easy to identify by their bluster, but this also offers an effective method of gauging covert ones by paying attention to their shifting behaviour through different settings. If you would consider it as a video topic, I think it would be helpful if you could differentiate a bit more in detail between adaptive/healthy(?) narcissism vs. self-esteem. Thank you Craig!
"Visible & public"...like volunteering in public for organizations and making large online donations online to companies/organizations with social media accounts, etc.
really helpful thanks. Both the clarity over the vulnerability and grandiosity depending on extroversion or introversion and the experiment results are so useful.
This couldn't have come at a better time. No wonder covert narcissists prefer everything to be secret and private. The light of society catches them out for who they truly are, and they care more about looking good than they do about being abusive. At least until they get you home.... Because, unlike in an academic experiment with strangers, when in a relationship and there are children involved, one has to weigh the consequences in real life.
That's an interesting study and story! I was thinking that I would give them another chance as I would like to be given another chance. 😁 Cam they use their helpfulness as a way of regulating their emotions? They help but they oftentimes become angry and resentful, then gripe about the people they are helping.
My husband is covert- he’ll go out of his way to help anyone (except me and our kids) If he sees a neighbor outside, he’ll find an excuse to go over and offer help. It’s really quite embarrassing to watch….. he loves to be praised and worshiped- it makes him feel superior, wanted, and liked. It gives him positive supply! My husband ONLY helps other men. He hates women so much there’s no way he’d ever offer females help.
@@watchmeheal1176 They're using them for supply, but the people that are being helped think this person (your husband, my sister) are just really giving, helpful, kind-hearted, people.
@@mthomas3547 They (his ‘friend’s) truly believe he’s the most generous, helpful, and considerate person- when in reality, he’s the complete opposite. If they could only see the truth🤦♀️🫶🏻
I saw this dynamic with an overt narcissist during the pandemic. I explained how both people wearing masks offers a higher level of protection and that even if the other person wore a mask, you could help protect their vulnerable loved ones, by also masking. They flat out said, "I don't care. It's not my problem. If they are so worried, they should just stay home. If they go to a store and catch COVID from me and pass it on to their loved one, that's on them." I was just stunned into silence. I have also seen, that they can not hide their contempt for someone they consider "lesser" - even when it would be in their purely selfish best interest to do so.
Fascinating! The more I learn about narcissism from credible sources including you, Dr. Malkin, (and a few others of course) the better equipped I feel as a lay person to be able to sift through the nonsense regarding the disorder.
It seems as though there’s been an influx of misinformation regarding pathological narcissism-it has my head spinning at times regarding separating what’s fact from fiction.
Your book was the first that I bought on the topic (now, after about 3 years I have a mini library on narcissism lol 😉📚) and I can’t thank you enough for helping me and my husband navigate through some pretty heavy stuff.
It may sound ridiculous but I think your book (among the others) may have changed the course of our life in a way that nothing else could have. We both feel like we woke up out of a very long nightmare and we’re not confused anymore.
Again-thank you so very much. 🙏🏻♥️
Wow--such an wonderful comment in so many ways... I'm just taking it in. Thank you for letting me know your experience and deepest thanks for sharing it in such a kind, supportive way. I'm overwhelmed. Wow.
If you want a narcissist to do something, tell people they've already agreed. Alert the media! LOL
They wanted to save image of the facade in the case of the vulnerable. So the more people to be there the more effective.
This presentation cast a lot of light on their inner workings and also provided more context to last week's video. If I understood it correctly, grandiose narcissists and regular people share character-constancy in common, whereas covert narcissists are more flexible in their character. It seems to me that grandiose narcissists are easy to identify by their bluster, but this also offers an effective method of gauging covert ones by paying attention to their shifting behaviour through different settings.
If you would consider it as a video topic, I think it would be helpful if you could differentiate a bit more in detail between adaptive/healthy(?) narcissism vs. self-esteem.
Thank you Craig!
"Visible & public"...like volunteering in public for organizations and making large online donations online to companies/organizations with social media accounts, etc.
really helpful thanks. Both the clarity over the vulnerability and grandiosity depending on extroversion or introversion and the experiment results are so useful.
Thank you !
This couldn't have come at a better time. No wonder covert narcissists prefer everything to be secret and private. The light of society catches them out for who they truly are, and they care more about looking good than they do about being abusive. At least until they get you home.... Because, unlike in an academic experiment with strangers, when in a relationship and there are children involved, one has to weigh the consequences in real life.
Well said. So I'm curious what kind of help a non narcissistic person would offer? How would they offer it?
Interesting!!
That's an interesting study and story! I was thinking that I would give them another chance as I would like to be given another chance. 😁 Cam they use their helpfulness as a way of regulating their emotions? They help but they oftentimes become angry and resentful, then gripe about the people they are helping.
My husband is covert- he’ll go out of his way to help anyone (except me and our kids) If he sees a neighbor outside, he’ll find an excuse to go over and offer help. It’s really quite embarrassing to watch….. he loves to be praised and worshiped- it makes him feel superior, wanted, and liked. It gives him positive supply! My husband ONLY helps other men. He hates women so much there’s no way he’d ever offer females help.
@@watchmeheal1176 They're using them for supply, but the people that are being helped think this person (your husband, my sister) are just really giving, helpful, kind-hearted, people.
@@mthomas3547 They (his ‘friend’s) truly believe he’s the most generous, helpful, and considerate person- when in reality, he’s the complete opposite. If they could only see the truth🤦♀️🫶🏻
the grandiosity is like an expression of the vulnerability ?!
When empathy are always available ,Narcsts are not
I saw this dynamic with an overt narcissist during the pandemic. I explained how both people wearing masks offers a higher level of protection and that even if the other person wore a mask, you could help protect their vulnerable loved ones, by also masking. They flat out said, "I don't care. It's not my problem. If they are so worried, they should just stay home. If they go to a store and catch COVID from me and pass it on to their loved one, that's on them." I was just stunned into silence.
I have also seen, that they can not hide their contempt for someone they consider "lesser" - even when it would be in their purely selfish best interest to do so.
You're right and this is how I conceptualize the (ridiculous) masking debate too. It really is a litmus test for empathy
Answer: When they are no longer your problem.
Surely using under graduates will give a different outcome than using members from all walks of life.
What do you mean?