Bro is gonna be one of those medical miracles like those 104 year old ladies who say "I smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink a whole container of boxed wine every day" as their explanation for how they've lived so long. Bro's health is gonna integer underflow all the way around to immortality.
I mean, this was basically the immortality meta for thousands of years of Chinese history. Quicksilver was so alien a substance that it just HAD to be immortality juice.
You can do that anyways with an ice cream maker, as Explosions and Fire and Ted Nivison showed. Me and my friends made garlic ice cream once just to see how bad it is
Other neat thing about Malort is that it was legal during prohibition because law enforcement concluded it was so bad that no one in their right mind would drink it recreationally.
The only difference between electrolyte mixes for horses and electrolyte mixes for humans is that the mixes for humans will be cleaner. Literally that's it, the mixes for horses might not be food safe. Horses have way stronger immune systems than humans, that's literally how we get antivenoms, we inject horses with the venom and then harvest the antibodies the horses create to fight off the venom. The only thing that the horse electrolytes can give you that the Gatorade mix won't is e-coli.
15:00 "I want to try the more normal stuff and ramp up as time goes" he says, as if he didn't use lead infused radioactive wood chips from the desk in the first rotation 💀
Yeah, I'm pretty sure even just eating a cigarette can kill you. If not, it will make you extremely sick with nicotine poisoning I smoke 2 packs a day and you wouldn't see me doing that shit
Fun fact, you can drink a bottle of nicotine concentrate and be fine. The actual overdose limit of nicotine is so high we only have rough ideas from failed "self unlife" attempts, notice I say failed. Multiple people have tried. Just makes you feel like crap
@William.Kelly7 you can also eat spoonfuls of nutmeg until I you the hat man and you won't overdose. You'll be fine, but it can still make you feel like crap and land you in the hospital
@@William.Kelly7can you give your sources on the being fine part? I tried looking but couldn't find anything, but I might have just been looking in the wrong places or something.
imagine some guy from the 19th century losing his shit at the discovery of this technology and then subsequently finding out what people like uwo are doing with it
the afterlife / ghosts or w/e hypothetical: mfs from the industrial revolution being killed by horses, electrical mishaps or steam explosions then same beings "from beyond the veil" looking at modern instances, utterly speechless
I worked at a lab for several years that had an ultrasonic bath near the employee entrance. Never have I been less happy walking into a building hung over than that day.
Fun Malort fact: the current distillery that produces it has a sushi restaurant built into it. Gourmet sushi and malort cocktails go surprisingly well together
@@Sabrina_Tea Leviticus 11:23 "But all other flying insects that have four legs you are to regard as unclean." Dawg, i didn't even know about this verse
I really hope there's a part 2 to this. I remember in the science fiction comedy 'Red Dwarf' there was such a thing as marijuana gin, and I've been curious as to what it would actually be like ever since. The only problem is I can't stand the taste of fermentation, so I've never actually made it myself.
Tincture is alright, just mix it into some coffee or something and whatever you do: Don't do shots of it. You need like 5 ml, not a shot. You'll taste it though and it'll taste like ass, so I recommend taking a Big Gulp equivalent sized cup (maybe an OnCue donation cup iykyk) fill it a third of the way with coffee, add a packet of hot chocolate, mix it up, add about 1.5x the amount of coffee in milk, then add about half a tray of ice to it, then finally the tincture. I can't taste it when I do it like this.
fun things with tincture is you can leave it in your mouth (if you manage) and absorb it that way which makes it like edibles but about twice as fast and twice as intense
"I wanna try some more normal stuff then it ramps up as time goes y'know?" Brother you started with a cigarette and some leaded, radioactive desk chips
To clear things up, Baja Blast became a permanent addition in stores for its 20th anniversary. Before that, it was only at Taco Bell, the seasonal appearances at Kroger's and in my experience, Sam's Clubs in a giant pack of cans. I'm not sure if the use of "permanent" in their announcement just means long term just for its anniversary or means it will remain on store shelves forever.
Fairly sure base Baja Blast is going to stay a permanent, but they're putting out seasonal variants within the line and I *think* there's still limited time ones exclusive to Taco Bell. On top of T.Bs experiments like Baja Blast Gelato.
there is actually a dude who makes wood chip ice cream! He infuses the cream with woodchips and even smokes the chocolate he puts in, so the cream idea wasnt bad, just the execution
Are you trying to compliment the hands of a man who has a radioactive arsenic lead darmstadtium table that’s covered in dust and decayed chemical mixtures in his house?
@oxotniknaoleney They're kinda like extended compound words comprised mostly of nouns/adjectives. Even if it looks silly, you'd get the gist of birthdaypresent as one word (Geburt + Tag + Geshenk). RIP to my dyslexic homies tho.
There's a bar where I live that is known for serving malort. My good friend loves it. I went there for her birthday and we took one of their signature shots dubbed "dumpster fire" consisting of fireball and malort. I had never before tasted something that was so exactly like what's left in one's mouth after vomiting for an extended time
Malort is pretty bad, yes, but Greg from How To Drink posited that it's not even close to the worst; that dubious honor goes to kaoliang sorghum liquor, a traditional drink in China.
Brother, you're one video away from being in a ChubbyEmu video lmaooooo "UL is *presenting* to the emergency room with..." "'Desk chips are healthy', he thought, as he downed the shot, 'I'm practically immortal bro, let's go', he thought. Until he'd consumed the entire science experiment."
Also.... the reason the desk might have give some "sweet" taste is 100 hundo % lead, the rason why we had so many lead cake tins and stuff back in the days were, they give some extra sweetnes to the treats.
This is the alternate timeline where Dr. Stien's special interest wasnt pulling people apart to see what makes them tick, but something much much worse.
Take that Malort, put it in a sausage, speed age the sausage. I think we all know a man who can(and probably will) help with this. Maybe offer to boil him a lobster tail in maple syrup and baked beans.
as someone who works with like 3 huge ultrasonic vats fairly regularly, yeah they are pretty loud when running 24/7 in commercial capacity- a small one like that probs wont do too much though.
When you vibrated the cream, it separated the milk fat from the other stuff. Tldr; Yes, you made butter and the milk you strained out and drank is called buttermilk.
That was a FANTASTIC video! I hope you didn't develop some crazy uranium-lead-based illness after the desk chip flavor. Liked, subscribed, and seeing what else you have in your channel.
I hope someone mentioned that you probably shouldn’t be in the same room while that thing is on. While it sounds low volume, it’ll still damage your ears
does anyone else see some large cat in the burnt pattern? near the pause symbol is the eye, just above the brown-filled jar is the ear, far left with the orange rimmed jar is the neck, aimed down to the bottom right jar/pump is the mouth and whiskers
Just as a heads up: DO NOT DO THESE THINGS. For example, don’t eat paint chips off your desk, especially if the paint is sweet (cause lead), or alcohol extracting nicotine, cause it’s so effective that you can get nicotine poisoning.
Imagine the Ultrasonic cleaner fell and broke, leading to a jump cut of you showing the replacemnt saying "i paid $80 for this ultrasonic cleaner" then swatting the old one out of frame
You should try using lightly torched maple wood chips. Or you could try to make a quick amaretto by putting some almonds or some other stone fruit pit in it.
Some people only ask whether they could, and not whether they should. This guy asks whether he could, whether he should, notices that he shouldn't, and takes that as a reason to do it.
Ive had actual barrel aged malort, it tasted like wiskey but evil, but not like obviously evil, like it took half the story to realize its evil, better than normal malort still
"The desk chips taste sweet" brother that's LEAD
And cigarettes, radioactive, and so many more other bad stuff
the impending cancer from the char:
Which is unsafe to consume in literally any amount.
Lead will end up in hospital with Uwos poisoning
Lead tastes sweet, some forms of it
Bro is gonna be one of those medical miracles like those 104 year old ladies who say "I smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink a whole container of boxed wine every day" as their explanation for how they've lived so long. Bro's health is gonna integer underflow all the way around to immortality.
I mean, this was basically the immortality meta for thousands of years of Chinese history. Quicksilver was so alien a substance that it just HAD to be immortality juice.
@@caffeinato 99% of Chinese emperors die before drinking enough mercury to become immortal
That last 1% concerns me
@@XceptionalBro They aren't terracotta
Rare case where a comment starting with "bro is" is high quality
yes UwO , take the chemically burnt,radioactive and microwaved pieces of a treated hardwood table and eat them! what could possibly go wrong!
don't forget the lead in there that makes it taste sweet
@@oggilein1afaik straight lead doesn't taste sweet, only lead salts like lead acetate taste sweet. Pretty sure pure lead would just taste metallic.
@@newmeta2668 not from my experience
@@newmeta2668 Pure metal doesn't have a taste though.
brother nothing ain't pure there
i think at this point, uwo's gonna somehow find the next element on the periodic table
That, or he’s gonna turn himself into a mutant/superhuman with all the dubious stuff he consumes
I think it will be extracted from his blood...
@@Sleepy-oi3xh he will turn himself into the new element
they’re gonna have to place it on the 9th period 😭
irradiated cannabis-plastic
*wonderous*
"the cream isnt rancid its ALMOST PRETTY new" I do love the words he uses to convince himself its not gonna kill him
i mean mf keeps uploading
gotta be more fresh than not right???
@@Volti-Vagra this man is like those chinese emperors who think that drinking mercury is good for your health. Except this guy just survives anyways
Cream becomes Butter + Buttermilk. That's the sourness he smelled
Get one of those handheld Geiger counter companies to sponsor a video or send you a test unit see how radioactive the desk is!
he has a geiger counter
Why would his desk be radioactive? Did he spill radioactive debris on it
@jungianorigami9975 he has used uranium many time and literally made a cancer gun
lots of the assorted replies are implying so
@@jungianorigami9975 yes, i think
IDEA: If you can infuse cream with different flavors, you can make your own abomination flavors of ice cream..
Horse spunk ice cream
Cigerette ice cream, here we cum
You can do that anyways with an ice cream maker, as Explosions and Fire and Ted Nivison showed. Me and my friends made garlic ice cream once just to see how bad it is
@@hunterhudson4577 Horse Spunk Galaxy Gas????
ayo?
Cat Piss Penjamins
the black spot on that table looks like a lobster got vaporized
Uwo definetely raptures lonpbsters in his spare time
That's so funny
you know what it does
Holy shit, it's a lobster tail!
Local crazy scientist makes moonshine using a Sonic Screwdriver.
Other neat thing about Malort is that it was legal during prohibition because law enforcement concluded it was so bad that no one in their right mind would drink it recreationally.
Malort is good tho what do you mean
@@sparklesparklesparkle6318 so you like one note bitterness
@@sparklesparklesparkle6318 alcoholic spotted
@@sparklesparklesparkle6318stop lying to yourself
@@sparklesparklesparkle6318 some people enjoy black liccorice or drinking redbull
to each their own- but to the others it seems insane
Speed age horse electrolytes
Please Uwo I need this
Speed age gorilla biscuits to transcend humanity
@@GhostGhostyReturn to Primordial Monke.
Speed age glock brand horse semen
The only difference between electrolyte mixes for horses and electrolyte mixes for humans is that the mixes for humans will be cleaner. Literally that's it, the mixes for horses might not be food safe. Horses have way stronger immune systems than humans, that's literally how we get antivenoms, we inject horses with the venom and then harvest the antibodies the horses create to fight off the venom. The only thing that the horse electrolytes can give you that the Gatorade mix won't is e-coli.
15:00 "I want to try the more normal stuff and ramp up as time goes" he says, as if he didn't use lead infused radioactive wood chips from the desk in the first rotation 💀
i mean, for Uwo... normal enough 😭
republic of serbia once again gratulates our biggest inventor. you saved our economy once again. you earned your statue.
The guy is a serb?
Fun fact: alcohol extracts so much nicotine from tobacco that it can land you in the hospital
Yeah, I'm pretty sure even just eating a cigarette can kill you. If not, it will make you extremely sick with nicotine poisoning
I smoke 2 packs a day and you wouldn't see me doing that shit
Fun fact, you can drink a bottle of nicotine concentrate and be fine. The actual overdose limit of nicotine is so high we only have rough ideas from failed "self unlife" attempts, notice I say failed. Multiple people have tried. Just makes you feel like crap
@William.Kelly7 you can also eat spoonfuls of nutmeg until I you the hat man and you won't overdose. You'll be fine, but it can still make you feel like crap and land you in the hospital
sorry to ruin the immersion, but he uses nicotine free cigarettes
@@William.Kelly7can you give your sources on the being fine part? I tried looking but couldn't find anything, but I might have just been looking in the wrong places or something.
I wouldn't be surprised if bro built up a tolerance for cancer, so now he's just immune
He’s trying to integer under flow his way to immortality
He gets so many cancers they cancel each other out
@@Herlenberg they destroyed each other trying to get the first hit in
This entire channel is just watching intrusive thoughts win and seeing what it leads to.
Usually these kind of comments mean impulsive thoughts not intrusive thoughts but in this case I think intrusive thoughts is accurate.
23:11 goofy as he chokes on a sip of some drink prior to tumbling down cushioned stairs - ASMR
imagine some guy from the 19th century losing his shit at the discovery of this technology and then subsequently finding out what people like uwo are doing with it
the afterlife / ghosts or w/e
hypothetical: mfs from the industrial revolution being killed by horses, electrical mishaps or steam explosions then same beings "from beyond the veil" looking at modern instances, utterly speechless
I think they'd be glad there's a potential industrial use for it, to expedite the process of aging alcohol.
The cream made me realize you could probably make some pretty wicked compound butters with this.
Omg you probably could
Man, that 'Gulk' after he tasted the pickle solution definitely put a good start to my year.
algorithm has dragged me back to the lab again i see
I worked at a lab for several years that had an ultrasonic bath near the employee entrance. Never have I been less happy walking into a building hung over than that day.
Fun Malort fact: the current distillery that produces it has a sushi restaurant built into it. Gourmet sushi and malort cocktails go surprisingly well together
"Pilk-infused Chinese cigarettes"
NONE of those words are in the Bible
you don't know *any* of the words in the actual bible
@@tmzillamy brother in christ, where has Pilk, Chinese or Cigarettes appeared in the bible
like, maybe the word infused, but still.
@@another-derpycrafterthey actually appear in leviticus 11:23 (i have never read the bible)
@@Sabrina_Tea
Leviticus 11:23
"But all other flying insects that have four legs you are to regard as unclean."
Dawg, i didn't even know about this verse
Bro’s channel is peak, get this man to a million ASAP
I really hope there's a part 2 to this. I remember in the science fiction comedy 'Red Dwarf' there was such a thing as marijuana gin, and I've been curious as to what it would actually be like ever since. The only problem is I can't stand the taste of fermentation, so I've never actually made it myself.
Just soak some crushed leaves in a bottle of gin, shake vigorously at least twice a day, and after 48 hours the flavor will have pervaded.
@@remobothic I appreciate it.
Ive had tincture where the weed was soaked in everclear for over a week and it was pretty good.
Tincture is alright, just mix it into some coffee or something and whatever you do: Don't do shots of it. You need like 5 ml, not a shot. You'll taste it though and it'll taste like ass, so I recommend taking a Big Gulp equivalent sized cup (maybe an OnCue donation cup iykyk) fill it a third of the way with coffee, add a packet of hot chocolate, mix it up, add about 1.5x the amount of coffee in milk, then add about half a tray of ice to it, then finally the tincture. I can't taste it when I do it like this.
fun things with tincture is you can leave it in your mouth (if you manage) and absorb it that way which makes it like edibles but about twice as fast and twice as intense
I felt the WOW and WOOOO at 0:15
"I wanna try some more normal stuff then it ramps up as time goes y'know?"
Brother you started with a cigarette and some leaded, radioactive desk chips
To clear things up, Baja Blast became a permanent addition in stores for its 20th anniversary. Before that, it was only at Taco Bell, the seasonal appearances at Kroger's and in my experience, Sam's Clubs in a giant pack of cans. I'm not sure if the use of "permanent" in their announcement just means long term just for its anniversary or means it will remain on store shelves forever.
Fairly sure base Baja Blast is going to stay a permanent, but they're putting out seasonal variants within the line and I *think* there's still limited time ones exclusive to Taco Bell.
On top of T.Bs experiments like Baja Blast Gelato.
@RoseLexThorne oh yeah I completely forgot about the baja blast variants.
there is actually a dude who makes wood chip ice cream! He infuses the cream with woodchips and even smokes the chocolate he puts in, so the cream idea wasnt bad, just the execution
Are we thinking about the Justin tree guy?
gonna tell the ladies they age like fine menthols aged alcohol.
Signalis pfp spotted! 🫵😮
Barrel aged monkey biscuits with uranium ore when?
Barrel aged monkey biscuits aged in horse electrolytes for nutritionmaxxing
*Barrel Aged Monkey Biscuits in a Horse Spunk glaze & Slow Loris tear duct extract crumble
Uwo is either gonna live to 100 or die in the next 10 years, i don't think there's an inbetween anymore.
Mans hands look so soft and healthy. excellent cuticles. Could pull off nail polish quite well.
Are you trying to compliment the hands of a man who has a radioactive arsenic lead darmstadtium table that’s covered in dust and decayed chemical mixtures in his house?
@@oxotniknaoleneyyes! cute
@oxotniknaoleney Whats wrong with that? I am somthing of a garage chemist myself.
...said yoshikage kira.
Radioactive desk wood spirit is definitely something new
as a german a Ultraschallreinigungsgerät is absolut common and my ears bleed....
i was looking for this comment 😂
On a side note: how the hell do germans pronounce these words with like 10^1000 letters in them
@oxotniknaoleney
They're kinda like extended compound words comprised mostly of nouns/adjectives. Even if it looks silly, you'd get the gist of birthdaypresent as one word (Geburt + Tag + Geshenk). RIP to my dyslexic homies tho.
@@ericonion3561 i mean, if it works, it works. So there’s that
Fühle ich
As a fellow ultrasonic cleaner owner: yeah, tobacco vodka is nasty.
Barrel aged lead
Yummy.
Also, did you know that in the mid-Urals, there is a city called Asbestos AND PEOPLE LIVE THERE? Just wanted to give you that little nugget
I audibly gasped at the desk chip one.
There's a bar where I live that is known for serving malort. My good friend loves it. I went there for her birthday and we took one of their signature shots dubbed "dumpster fire" consisting of fireball and malort. I had never before tasted something that was so exactly like what's left in one's mouth after vomiting for an extended time
i imagine the cigarette one smells like an outdoor ashtray thats been rained on but worse
Smell worse. Source? I made it once.
It was not mentol, just normal tabacco.
I cant believe he drank the desk one even though i had told him not to lol
I breathed a sigh of relief when he said he was going to stop for his health
Always love that Americans just have a wine called 'Josh'.
Bros just sitting there drinking poison
Malort is pretty bad, yes, but Greg from How To Drink posited that it's not even close to the worst; that dubious honor goes to kaoliang sorghum liquor, a traditional drink in China.
Brother, you're one video away from being in a ChubbyEmu video lmaooooo
"UL is *presenting* to the emergency room with..."
"'Desk chips are healthy', he thought, as he downed the shot, 'I'm practically immortal bro, let's go', he thought. Until he'd consumed the entire science experiment."
Don't forget ultrasonic cleaners can cause hearing damage, even if you don't hear it
Small wonder he can't hear it lmao. Prolly already took out his higher range of hearing already
cigs in alcohol sounds like a way to make poison lol
nicotine is alcohol solubile and defintefly poisonus...
where's HowToDrink when you need him
fellow greg enjoyer
Also.... the reason the desk might have give some "sweet" taste is 100 hundo % lead, the rason why we had so many lead cake tins and stuff back in the days were, they give some extra sweetnes to the treats.
Sell the cream as “Austrian Goat Milk”. Make a fortune!
Barrel aged cigarettes when
2029
The lead and uranium adds a nice, tart and sweet aftertaste.
I hope to see more experimentation with that cream in the future, as well as other creations.
birb
Uwos speed running addictions
Some one in the thought emporium video on this said to boil the chips in water for 5 mins and throw out the water to get rid of harsh flavors
Barrel aged orange juice seems like a dangerous idea, with Orange Juice's quick spoilage
Thank you recommendations for the reminder i need to clean my glasses frames in my ultrasonic cleaner.
This is the alternate timeline where Dr. Stien's special interest wasnt pulling people apart to see what makes them tick, but something much much worse.
If you add a dash of yogurt to milk, with this process, you could make French yogurt
Take that Malort, put it in a sausage, speed age the sausage.
I think we all know a man who can(and probably will) help with this. Maybe offer to boil him a lobster tail in maple syrup and baked beans.
I havent seen Kamchatka vodka since i was drinking as a teen
Brings back some bad hazy memories 😂
Why does mans sound like he's halfway through a pack of natty light every time i watch a video?
as someone who works with like 3 huge ultrasonic vats fairly regularly, yeah they are pretty loud when running 24/7 in commercial capacity- a small one like that probs wont do too much though.
Oh yeah the desk wood thats had direct contact with URANIUM.
12:25 Funny enough the wood char in bourbon barrels is what creates a vanilla, almost shortbread cookie, sweetness to it.
He truly is the most powerful drinker of them all.
Baja Blast is available year-round in stores like Walmart now
In case anyone wanted to know
Oh good. A use for the extra 6L ultrasonic cleaber that Temu sent me by mistake, for free.
There's an alternate universe where you infuse Malort with something and it suddenly becomes pretty enjoyable.
This is not that universe.
This is some SCP researcher activities here.
As someone who owns a bigass ultrasonic cleaner, this video was very entraining even though I've did all this shit myself 😂
When you vibrated the cream, it separated the milk fat from the other stuff. Tldr; Yes, you made butter and the milk you strained out and drank is called buttermilk.
I actually can imagine the chili-tequila not being that bad tbh
uwos never fails to fill me up
Did you know that ultrasonic can heat up/ melt plastic in water ? It's pretty neat !
Idea: "age" cheap vodka with activated charcoal to remove all the nasty impurities?
Found you through the fnaf irl video. Stayed for the insane science!
Please don't kill yourself by accident
This could be an entire arc we're eating good boys.
Okay hear me out. You take your [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] into the jar and barrel age your [REDACTED], for science of course.
That was a FANTASTIC video! I hope you didn't develop some crazy uranium-lead-based illness after the desk chip flavor.
Liked, subscribed, and seeing what else you have in your channel.
I looked into this process when I was wanting to produce homemade mushroom wines
I hope someone mentioned that you probably shouldn’t be in the same room while that thing is on. While it sounds low volume, it’ll still damage your ears
Pretty sure despite everything he does here, this method will also work with every single DokaRyan drink experiment video.
Enjoy at your own risk lol
does anyone else see some large cat in the burnt pattern?
near the pause symbol is the eye, just above the brown-filled jar is the ear, far left with the orange rimmed jar is the neck, aimed down to the bottom right jar/pump is the mouth and whiskers
What the hell did he do to that table?
@ man- i think its easier to ask what didnt he do lol
So glad that someone else knows of that videos existence and it wasn’t a manic episode memory I made up
Just as a heads up: DO NOT DO THESE THINGS. For example, don’t eat paint chips off your desk, especially if the paint is sweet (cause lead), or alcohol extracting nicotine, cause it’s so effective that you can get nicotine poisoning.
Not using clear glasses was criminal
13:27 Cancer speedrun Any% WR 😂
Imagine the Ultrasonic cleaner fell and broke, leading to a jump cut of you showing the replacemnt saying "i paid $80 for this ultrasonic cleaner" then swatting the old one out of frame
You should try using lightly torched maple wood chips. Or you could try to make a quick amaretto by putting some almonds or some other stone fruit pit in it.
This has been one of my favorite episodes lmfao
Some people only ask whether they could, and not whether they should. This guy asks whether he could, whether he should, notices that he shouldn't, and takes that as a reason to do it.
I love how the burn mark on the table slowly turns into wiener
peak discovered initiating obsession with creator for the next week.
Ive had actual barrel aged malort, it tasted like wiskey but evil, but not like obviously evil, like it took half the story to realize its evil, better than normal malort still
25:15 oh... oh my... the ideas... heavy cream and vanilla pods? hm......
thanks for the great content!
20:00 me with the banana popsicles that ive carefully taken from apartment to apartment
There's a whole horrific frontier to be explored. Rapid infused dairy