I quit drinking but my spouse has not

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 พ.ค. 2016
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    Annie Grace, author of This Naked Mind is answering reader's questions live. Today she answers, I quit drinking but my spouse has not - any advice. You can start reading This Naked Mind free at: thisnakedmind.com.
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ความคิดเห็น • 48

  • @Jenrose7037
    @Jenrose7037 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Words can't express my gratitude for this video. I seriously have been struggling with my boyfriend drinking even though he doesn't even drink all that much. I genuinely feel like a whole new, better person from being a non-drinker now. Like you said, we want others to feel this freedom.. But it's only up to them to explore it for themselves. I definitely need to work on the acceptance part of other people drinking. It's a journey, but I'm sure it will get easier in time. Annie, you are such a light in this world. Thank you for making these videos, This Naked Mind book, and This Naked Mind podcast! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you do. I hope that some day I can do an interview with you! I definitely need more sobriety under my belt though. Anyway, keep on shining your light.. You're inspiring so many people and I just think the world of ya. Much love 💜

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I look forward to hearing your story one day!

  • @lauraneedham325
    @lauraneedham325 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What a thorough, balanced, perfect response to the question about what to do when a spouse/partner is still drinking. Annie is smart! Thank you!

  • @miguelstevens3042
    @miguelstevens3042 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very thoughtful information, and a perfect answer to this question, thank you!

  • @donnajones990
    @donnajones990 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, I needed this tonight. :)

  • @ryanhayes2968
    @ryanhayes2968 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for this video.

  • @john4365
    @john4365 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you I needed to listen to that Annie it is so true of my life currently!

  • @veronicajones7095
    @veronicajones7095 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you times a thousand!! I really needed to hear this right now. You're a blessing :)

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  7 ปีที่แล้ว

      You're welcome Veronica, i'm glad i was able to help.

    • @tomdavis9402
      @tomdavis9402 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Great advice thankyou

  • @bevgiles8179
    @bevgiles8179 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is great advice Annie thank you. My husband has been supportive of my decision not to drink but doesn't engage in conversation with me when I get all evangelical about my experience (which I try hard not to do!) He is drinking less as a result of me not drinking which is a huge positive. Your advice in the video is appropriate for many aspects of relationships too, not just alcohol.

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Relationships are a struggle even without alcohol!

    • @micheleseifert9597
      @micheleseifert9597 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      About to face the music and think of me! 😊 Thanks , tired of the alcohol rat race.

  • @lisemellor2101
    @lisemellor2101 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks Annie, that was really helpful x

  • @daisymendez2332
    @daisymendez2332 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this ❤

  • @amandaw6142
    @amandaw6142 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She is so smart. Just did the 30 day alchohol experiment and loved it and I just bought her book and I'm looking forward to reading it. It's a whole new way to view drinking that doesn't beat you up for messing up!

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you and congrats!

    • @BB-cw3uv
      @BB-cw3uv 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Amanda W what’s the 30 day experiment?

    • @amandaw6142
      @amandaw6142 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@BB-cw3uv you can sign up on her website and it sends you motivation and "what to expect" type messages for 30 days and has an online journal/worksheet you can do. I found it very helpful!

    • @BB-cw3uv
      @BB-cw3uv 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Amanda W thanks . I just want to tell everyone that’s it’s all in ya mind . Me fasting for them 3 days was more so to control things in my mind, I wanted to eat plenary times but I didn’t because I want gonna let that shit control me . U have to be strong

  • @normkender5524
    @normkender5524 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank this helped me a lot today

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad to hear it!

  • @kathleenanset1109
    @kathleenanset1109 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I absolutely agree it hard but you are so right the more you go on about their drinking the more they will drink
    You can’t change anyone else you have got to change 👍

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      We can inspire others to change through our change!

  • @gwillis01
    @gwillis01 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It is hard for someone who is deep in the alcoholic fog to realize that there is another way to live. It is hard to imagine another way to live when the alcohol demon is talking or shouting so loudly so loudly near the ear.

  • @janewilliamsyouaresoright9662
    @janewilliamsyouaresoright9662 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    thank you! I too needed that question answered. My husband knows we both need to quit, but I can feel him resisting. I only quot yesterday, commented on another video. hit my head two nights ago and that was my wake up call. You are helping me tremendously. I got him to watch 2 of your videos and he liked them. Said, she's really good and she's not just saying " Al you need is god or SAY." I'm worried I will have a hard time if he drinks, both because I'm afraid I'll get annoyed and be unable to say anything and also afraid of the temptation. I think he thinks that he'll be able to revert to moderate occasional drinking, but I know that won't happen. what would you advise I do if he drinks again in my presence and I get annoyed? he didn't drink yesterday either so that's good. I'm have a family of many, many alcoholics. didn't drink most my life because of that , but started late in life. I'm 53. he was drinking before me. Not sure if you answer questions from here or if I have to go to your website. I was told it's $400 to join and I really can't afford that. Thank you again. You are so beautiful!

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Remember that you can only make the decision for yourself and not for anyone else!

  • @kalualauber1921
    @kalualauber1921 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I think that her issue may be how not to be drawn back into drinking again due to her husband’s drinking. If she drank with him the thing is that it’s the companionship. When I stopped drinking my husband would always bring alcohol into the house and try to get me to have a drink with him. It was a tough thing and I slipped many times and always ended up giving into him. It sounds like you are talking to moderate drinking. Alcoholics will try to pull the person into joining him. Drinking is a lonely game.

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  ปีที่แล้ว

      It certainly can create additional challenges if we haven't worked through the beliefs that keep us drinking.

  • @kimberlystover488
    @kimberlystover488 ปีที่แล้ว

    I no longer want alcohol in my system.. I don’t want my husband to change , he’s great . I want to better my body , cleanse myself..

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  ปีที่แล้ว

      Your why is you and that is amazing!

  • @gokuhawks14
    @gokuhawks14 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I quit drinking drinking a month ago and feel better, But my wife doesn't trust me and does not encourage me at all. She still drinks in front of me while checking every water bottle I drink for vodka. It would be nice if she if she would say keep up the good work stay sober. Instead it's always "are you drinking again?" or " where are you hiding it?" I really did go sober and am not lying. I haven't had a drop. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's a rebuilding process for both sides. Trust takes time and she's nervous and adjusting as well!

  • @mattball8702
    @mattball8702 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hello! I have enjoyed your videos thus far. My question to you is actually from the view point of the spouse. My wife is not 20 days sober which i am very proud of. But I struggle with whether or not I need to be sober as well. Im not a heavy drinker but enjoy a drink a night. I support my wife in her sobriety and do not drink in front of her. But I hear some resentment in her. Should I quit? Am i crazy? I dont know what to do......

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Talk to her and see what her feelings are. Don't do it for her though. It needs to come from you and your desire.

  • @aprilhumen1229
    @aprilhumen1229 ปีที่แล้ว

    My husband is feeling disappointed that I quit drinking. We bonded much over alcohol. I think this is good for us because we will have to find hobbies to have true meaningful bonds. We were going to Napa next year, but that isn’t happening now because I told him I may never want to drink again. So he is taking this pretty hard. I know he needs to work through his disappointment and change. This just validated to me how centered alcohol is in society. It’s just sad.

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  ปีที่แล้ว

      How great that you can continue to show him the other ways you can bond and grow your relationship!

    • @Whitney322
      @Whitney322 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My husband wants to divorce me because I stopped drinking 3 months ago. He’s a heavy drinker and sees alcohol as central to his and our fun.

  • @gwillis01
    @gwillis01 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Don't talk to a drunken shell of a person. Talk to an awake, alert person.

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's much easier to have a conversation with the latter.

  • @gwillis01
    @gwillis01 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Everyone has to walk their own path to sobriety. You cannot force anyone into long term sobriety.

  • @kristanebejerano3283
    @kristanebejerano3283 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Don't agree with when you say "with how brainwashed we are". Wanting and praying for her husband to stop drinking goes a long way. People out here will give you advice to how they seem fit. Truth is we cant change them but it doesnt stop us from praying that God can. My purpose is to fulfill the word of God. I am not judging if I quote fully what's in the Bible about it. Especially if we both said we need to stop drinking. I will be here for full support of him stopping. Husband should understand the change of their woman and try to respect not drinking around them anymore. To each their own salvation so talk with him and express your appreciation that you would like for him to eventually stop. Pray with him, have devotion, be the example and God will do the rest. ❤ getting angry normally just leave us astray last thing we want is that. Just like it's been a process for us to stop. It is a process for them too

    • @ThisNakedMind
      @ThisNakedMind  11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Appreciate you sharing your perspective. There's so much we can learn from each other!