They always do that. I kept getting mentally ill women on my fyp saying "US BLACK WOMEN ARE UGLY AND BALD!!" and I'm like girl who is us? Who is we? You, but definitely not me 😂
Dang, this is a deep-rooted self-hate and anti-blackness. Her saying we don't look feminine or pretty in the hair God blessed us with is just sad. I appreciate the honesty. I think a lot of black women feel the same way but are too afraid to admit it because of the backlash. The 1st step towards healing is admitting the truth of the problem.
She is definitely repeating what someone else told her...either in childhood or adulthood and she believed them. I was told I was ugly for a long time in primary /elementary school until I started to get attention in secondary high school from boys and men even though I had short nappy hair and a triple-A cup!! Lol! Then I started reading fashion magazines and I understood the concept of beauty. I also studied Art history in high school and learnt to look at features differently. My education saved me so I could get out of that constant negative loop. I was always aware that there were people out there who thought differently from those in my immediate environment. I had the opportunity to move to London and go to university and I grabbed it with both hands. Never really looked back to thinking I was ugly every again. Even now I'm way fatter!
For me, I generally LOVE my natural hair. I could never understand how a bw or bm could say they don't like afro textured hair. But I understand insecurity and history has done this. But in my personal experience, I wouldn't trade my hair for any other hair type, I think it matches me and is quite feminine. That's the mindset that is needed for this to be fixed. And finding the reason why this problem is happening.
Yea it's sad when black men aren't attracted to your natural look. It's sad when your own family or others make you feel self conscious. I'm now on that journey and now at 47 after maybe 8yrs plus my hair is natural a good length but thin, because my hair sheds a lot ! Yea I find it hard work. Or a lot of effort for little results. So yea I wear wigs too, for body and length. Yea too many black hairdressers don't know or have the patience to look after black hair properly. That is why I rarely go to them. Let's just appreciate hair is a big deal, especially for women and even more so black women, black women who are the most neglected, marginalised, etc...
and its so sad she probably got a lot of hate for this too. I know when I was listening to her I was getting upset at the things she was saying but in reality, this is reality for a lot of people and as someone who is pretty deep in my radical self acceptance journey, the things she said were just really jarring. But ridiculing and shaming her for saying this is not going to help the issue
I went natural late towards the end of the movement and I was mad I didn’t explore my twa stage more 😂. Now im at apl and enjoying the journey. One day I’ll probably cut it again.
@@tashboog5458 The woman with the bad wig said it in her original tiktok. She said Black women use growth oils because we're bald and can't grow our hair naturally 🙁
The saddest and most powerful statement she made has nothing to do with hair. She said "the black community thrives off abuse". Because that's her experience, she also said "it will never change." Unfortunately, the same people who were criticizing her natural hair are probably also criticizing her skin tone, facial features, and everything else about her. When people don't like you, they can't find a good word to say about you. When someone loves you, just you, they will support you in loving yourself. If you're surrounded by people who enjoy hurting you, natural hair is probably not going to work out for you. She's telling the truth..
I understand the sentiment -- but then I would challenge it by saying how many of your afro features are you willing to mitigate before you stop letting said people hurt you by either setting boundaries / making a plan to find new people who won't? Does it stop with hair?
Unfortunately, it doesn't stop with hair. Think about bleaching creams, etc. I feel for the woman who made the post. As you said, you can hear the sadness and trauma in her voice. It's not just about hair. Remember in the video she said "I'm not attractive." Who told her that, and why does she believe them? It's very sad.
@deborahevans4259 she also said she doesn't feel pretty unless he's in a wig or wearing hair that mimics another race. And she knows it's internalized racism/ self hate but she doesn't care, it's her truth. And that's what's honest. I visited my dad in the south last year, wearing old twists that had shrunk near chin length, but I didn't care. Hadn't seen him in years!! He finally had to broach the subject of my hair before saying "I like long hair!!" Then told me how his wife (whom he hadn't lived with in years) would cut her hair when he said that to her, but now a decade later in a bid to win him back, she's growing it out. She's also his "type" otherwise: lightskinned with some ambiguity (nothing like us daughters). What my dad couldn't fathom was that my hair is long, and i took a twist down to show him. I choose not to wear it straightened because it's easier not to. That conversation pissed me off for weeks and had me doubting myself. I kicked myself for even feeling the need to prove myself. I learned early in childhood how to be ok with myself and dismiss everyone else because as a kid i was constantly confronted with my shortcomings, so I really had to call upon my younger self to help me through that mind fk. I realize that's where this woman's line of thinking starts. The family, friends, and community closest to us tell us what to think of ourselves early on. If we're not careful, we end up like this woman. My sister thinks just like this in many ways.
Every community has abusive people don’t loop me into that by basis of being black. Call out the people who are abusive and acknowledge there are those who are not
The part where you said the same people who laugh at your hair and features are the same ones who laugh at your edges being gone and hair being damaged. So true. Stop trying to impress folks. Folks are fickle. Take care of your natural hair and over all well-being.
Two things most people who say "natural hair isn't for me" would never admit because how in the world is something growing out of your own head not for you loll I respect honesty not bs
Yes! I shared this with a woman venting about her natural hair in a chat. My advice was left ignored. Learning our hair is a whole new education. It is actually different from the European way of washing, detangling straight hair. You will do well with education.
@@fin4008 Let’s be real. A lot of these women’s mothers never taught them how to take care of their hair. Their child should have been knowing hair care practices from the age of 3 onward. Many black mothers lost the understanding of how to take care of their hair. Many generations of women in their families were never taught how to take care of it. So when it comes time for their daughters, they overapply tension, don’t know how to observe how their child’s hair looks, and become addicted to relaxers, wigs, weaves, and fake braiding hair as a means of not having to confront who they are and their beauty as well as how that beauty presents to the world. If you can’t go outside with your hair in its shrunken state while it’s healthy. You have issues. If you are developing traction alopecia because of the hairstyles you wear and refuse to see a doctor, you have issues. If you start wearing crazy ass styles that look shit with your beauty and features all as a means to hide your ugliness, you have issues. Too many black women don’t want to do the work. They’re ashamed and embarrassed. They don’t want to wear their hair in the styles that protect it and helps it grow. Wearing natural twists that barely reach your ears, let alone your shoulders scares you because you think you’re prone to looking like a man. Let’s have THAT conversation first.
Your own mom? Wow that's disgusting behavior! My 2nd daughter came out darker than my other 2 her features were a lot stronger and her hair was even more coily than my other 2 girls I always told her to embrace her natural hair she's my cocoa girl so beautiful I'm mulatto her dad is Indian and black so yes she multiracial and my mom is European/Irish decent and my dad is Nigerian but you would never known that by looking at her I just wish all of this would stop life and who we are is a blessing from God no matter how we look! The world is so lost! 😢
Same, I decided to go natural at like 16 and my dad and stepmom told me I would look a hot mess wearing my natural hair. Thankfully I could careless of their opinion.
I agree, that woman who stirred up the natural hair hornets nest is beautiful. Kinky hair would look amazing on her, as it does us all! I hope she realizes it one day. I heard a man preach, that until black women wear their natural hair AND LOVE IT, black little girls will always feel insecure. I agree. The insecure little girls will grow up to be insecure women until the mindset changes. If we don’t wear our natural hair as women for no other reason, do it for the black little girls looking at us.
That man needs to educate his brothers and tell them to stop mocking & degrading our hair on social media for the whole world to see. Part of our first trauma comes from the males in our own families and is then reinforced by the boys in kindergarten. Then it's the older boys in high school and finally the men we're trying to date & marry. They need to be honest and admit that they have had a very big part to play in the situation we are in now instead of trying to backpedal and convince everybody that they loved our hair all along.
Parents need to teach their children outside of the media. If you really want to be happy, get off of social media. If you participate, only use more controllable apps like yt and Pinterest where you choose what you really want to see
The comment she made about Mufasa...I think she needs to love her facial features first , then the relationship with her hair will improve. There is more to Mufasa than his hair. Natural hair is just the tip of the iceberg.
Yea when she said Mufasa, I immediately concluded that she thinks being black in general is what makes her “unfeminine.” Natural hair really is just the top of the iceberg for her.
I mentioned on another comment that im a leo and I love comparing my hair to a lions mane. It makes me feel so powerful and closer to our ancestors since lions are from Africa.
The only thing I agree with her saying is "You know it isn't the same. WW bleaching their hair or straightening their hair is not the same thing as what we do".
Me: looking at white women sitting in the salon every 6 weeks to get their hair bleached for 8 hours and black women sitting in the salon every 6 weeks for 8 hours so that their box braids look perfect at all times. I'm so glad I let go of perfectionism a long long time again. I look like a boho hobo hippie and I'm good with that. My bank balance is happy about it too. lol!
I wish BP who clearly have spent no real time with WP would STOP projecting BS they've overheard or assumed. WW get tracks, spend big money on blowouts, balayages, etc. Beauty practices are time-consuming regardless of hair/skin texture, complexion, etc.
@@ChampayneCole I'm aware WW do spend lots of time and money just for their blonde tracks to play peek a boo. My opinion still stands that it isn't the same as what BW are doing.
@@ChampayneCole I'm telling you hair dye has white women in a chokehold. If it's not bleach, it's covering their grays!! I just never wanted to be tied to the salon..I admire those women who can prioritise it and tolerate it.
@@marleyhill34 That's so true. It doesn't even suit 90% of them because the blonde undertones they choose usually makes them look washed out; they almost always look best in their natural hair color which is usually brown. To some extent, it seems like they're trying to adhere to European beauty standards as well; most white women actually DON'T have blonde hair or blue eyes. Most of them have brown hair and brown eyes as a collective. These beauty standards are literally killing women slowly and I refuse to participate in it at all!
I cut all of my hair off due to chemical damage two years ago and I felt so beautiful but when I was around others, I felt like I had to wear earrings, lipstick and do other things to make me look more “feminine”. It’s unfortunate that we feel so much pressure and are not allowed to just exist and be!
Honestly as someone that rarely styles my hair and never wears makeup people just accept it. If you never give people the impression that their opinion of you matters, they'll never share it. They will compliment you when you do decide to style your hair but they won't go over board because they know it doesn't mean much to you. A style is just a style and not a mask. Oddly enough people respect it, even if it's not something they'd choose.
@@Mimi-ht6xr Generational trauma and slavery. Africans had colonisation but they always knew who they were and where they came from right down to the tribal village. They took back and fought for their freedom whereas in the Caribbean and America we had to wait until the white people relented and gave it to us. We were emancipated and desegrated in the Caribbean and North America but in Africa, Europeans had to sue for peace to end the fighting. Every African generation knew that they were free before the arrival of Europeans and fought for self determination. South Americans and Africans are the proudest people I've ever met, they never hide their identity and it radiates from them. Colonialism in Africa lasted from from the 19th century to the 20th century where as slavery and Jim Crow lasted from 1500 to 1960s. That's the difference. "when you know the history, you can free yourself from the mental slavery." to paraphrase the late great Robert Nesta Marley.
Once you are content and confident with the way you look naturally, you will attract the right people. I’ve worn my hair short, no makeup for years and have been hit on by men and women telling me how beautiful I am. Asking me on dates and whatnot. Focus on you and loving yourself. There will always be someone who thinks you’re ugly makeup, nails, long hair or not.
I worked with a white woman that had naturally curly hair. Her white boyfriend did not like curly hair, so she straightened it everyday for him. This crosses all color lines!
This is so true! I have a lot of White friends and having naturally curly hair is seen as problematic and their men want them to have long, bone straight hair.
I don’t know why you’d date someone when you don’t like a NATURAL part of them. What happens when she can’t straighten her hair anymore? What happens when it falls out? Homegirl is tripping and homeboy can’t pull what he really wants.
@@Judah2019Fashions change. My hair is a fairly flat light brown with a bit of red, and these days a fair bit of grey...and it is absolutely straight with no natural volume at all. In the 80s, the fashion was big wavy or curly hair. To achieve this I had to crimp, roll, hot tong or perm my hair, and the perm required an awful lot of attention to manage the weakened hair that became brittle, split and broke easily...a lot of conditioning products and very careful brushing and combing. Now I don't care very much about 'fashion', and just work with what I've got. I have had very short hair and very long hair (to my hips) during my life. I am more interested in not spending my life trying to style my hair to do something it does not want to do with products and various tools that harm my hair, aggravate my scalp and eyes. If we all make a stand and start working with what we have it forces 'fashion' to take a wider view and stop forcing us all to try and comply with styles that very few people can achieve without chemicals, wigs, hair pieces, heated tools (straighteners or curlers) and styling products.
She doesn’t want to go to work with her natural hair looking like Mufasa. She prefers to go to work looking like Mufasa in a straight wig. She needs to accept her features before accepting her natural hair. That said, natural hair is more compatible with our ethnic features- than straight processed added hair. Once she accepts her natural hair, then she can learn how to care for it and find the right hairstyle. While I don’t understand her sentiments or agree with them, I empathize. My heart goes out to her.
Exactly - she actually thinks that she no longer looks like Mufasa when she puts on the wig. Ummmm no girl - you still look like her. And she is beautiful and wants to wear her natural hair.
@@macummings7818You’re welcome to your opinion. My opinion is, if she thinks she doesn’t look good, and that she looks like Mufasa, donning sheepskin over her scalp isn’t going to change that. Mindset is key.
Yess. I've had perms my entire life. When I was younger, Mom told me "your hair isn't that good". I haven't permed my hair in 9 months and I am loving the coils that are coming through.
I got comfortable wearing my big natural hair in high school(1968) onward. I have always loved my jet blue black thick natural hair. I have always had men loving my hair. I am salt and pepper not. I haven’t dyed my hair nor will I. This poor woman needs to work on her self esteem, first.
I wish natural hair was never banned in the workplace because this has been passed down generation through generation. We probably wouldn’t be here today
@@PrincessYonna1 It is all started during slavery. So I feel like even if the hair was never banned from the workplace, we would still have this issue. Black women were made to wear scarves or cut their hair off during slavery. It is an old generational trauma.
I was born with 4c hair and I will die with it. Never been someone to GAF about what self hating black people or other races have to say. I sense the discomfort and shock of some (not used to seeing natural afro hair these days) when I wear my natural hair and get a few compliments too. The key is to not GAF and keep it moving. Regardless of your life choices someone will always have something to say. In one ear and out the other. Stay blessed people x
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿no lies detected! You can Wear all the weaves and relaxers and SOMEONE will say ish...just wear your hair and live ya life! I have embraced my 4c and the fact my edges do not lay slick and im aiiggt with that
Black hair does grow, it's just not as apparent because of its coily texture, a.k.a. "shrinkage." Also, if you have scalp damage from chemical relaxers or traction alopecia from wearing wigs and weaves too tightly, of course your hair isn't going to grow at a normal rate. Yes prejudices definitely exist when it comes to natural hair. I get complimented when I wear wigs vs. when I wear my natural hair. But her point about Black hair not growing is grossly incorrect. If Black girls were taught to embrace and care for their hair at a young age, it would prevent practices that could slow hair growth. And from her opinions I'm going to assume she was taught from a young age that her natural hair is undesirable.
There are stunning women in every race , pretty ones, mediocre ones and the truly unfortunate, so blanket statements like “we are beautiful “, doesn’t help women and girls with more grasp of reality.
She lost me as soon as she said that us black women are ugly and don’t grow long hair. I had that ignorant mentality when I was kid because my hair would not grow for the life of me because of relaxers and heat damage. But now as an adult, I have been natural for 3 years and my hair has grown so much, almost to the middle of my back 🙌🏽 I suggest she needs to wear more protective styles and take care of her hair better 💯
I thought women braid their hair down under their wigs. Is that not a protective style or do they re-braid it too often? My hair grows like crazy when I braid it down to do crochet passion twists. I leave it for 3-4 weeks.
Honestly she said she knows it’s a shame, and she shouldn’t feel that way- and the proceeded to say her eyes aren’t blind. Her problem doesn’t lie with her hair but her features because she follows up with “I don’t look good with most hairstyles” When it first started I felt angry but now, I feel her. She’s even raised in a different era and time- you can hear her inner child speaking the whole time.
Exactly, like from an outsider i think she would look much better with her natural hair because she has bold and strong features but she has to find that acceptance within herself. One of the first things i noted is her age too, its usually older women that struggle pretty bad with this stuff and I feel for them
@@baegonia yes she would, also locs, twist, braids. Black women don’t understand how exotic, beautiful, & intricate braids are possessing an elegance of Heaven and wonder of nature. It also adds the appearance of youth.
@@JesusLovesEVERYTHING Yes her voice broke and trembled this is really paining her. 💕 I’m sending her so much love and will pray for her to be transformed by the renewing of her mind in Jesus name!!
Ps you are 100% right that the protective styles (twists etc) are not seen as feminine but those are the styles that most textured hair thrives in most. But the beauty is, no one can tell me I am not feminine. It's time we stop allowing strangers with their own limiting beliefs (about themselves even) to tell us what we are and are not because of..gasp...hair.
@@7mariposas775amen...I have to say when I stopped dating and decided to decenter men completely, my hair started to thrive. I was able to leave it alone and kept it moisturized in twists; I refuse/refused to wear a wig. 3 yrs later, my hair is now almost waist length...I'm 5'8
A creator I follow Shannon Bailee usually keeps her hair in twists and honestly she is one of my biggest inspos, her and Eugenia Kelcy, are my loves. I don't think twists themselves are ugly, many hairstyles that are not styled would look "unflattering" regardless of who it is.
And that would've been fine if she said *"My hair does not grow."* No one would've batted an eyelid outside of probably offering her pointers. She got on the internet seen by millions and said "Black hair does not grow," which then made it Black people's business to put her straight. And what she said about growth oil? No one sells hair oil more than Asians. They are the reason people put rice water and onions in their hair. People have a problem with her projection of her low self esteem onto all Black people. She said letting us be great "puts wig on." Then calls natural Black hair "Mufasa"...wait, that was actually funny😂
I agree 100% when you said that a lot of length retention styles are tied to masculinity. Ive been doing braids instead of mini twists because of my schedule and my guy friend associated my style with Travis Scott and I have had a guy say it looks like Da Brat. I'm still wearing my hair in the same style because I want to reach my hair goals. Love this channel 💕
My dreads have been called worms (I’m not particular about my hair being called dreads or locs) and I started them when my hair was 2 inches long. People always thought I was a stud or a lesbian when my second year of having dreads rolled around and I’m not 😅! I got mistaken for a man a lot more and being tall confused men even more… men are simple minded lol. When my length picked up then I got more appreciation from others about my hair and more attention from men. If I wasn’t secure within myself and I didn’t accept wearing my hair as it naturally is and style it so that I’ll have variety; I might not have my hair today and I’m so glad I’m still natty because I think my hair is one of my best features just because of how much intention went into the nurturing of my hair! I hope those black women struggling with loving their hair just give it a chance even going as far as figuring out how your genetics can effect your growth pattern! 💚 Thanks for tuning in to my unorganized rant lol!
Although I am not in agreement with her clumping black women into a category, I do appreciate her sharing her experiences. I see a lot of pain reflected in her eyes. In the end, I think that individuals should rock with what resonates with them, whether that's natural hair or not, without shaming occurring on either side.
19:06 It is rare. I noticed since my last relaxer at about 21 years old, that hair salons are not about healthy hair. I haven't been back to a hair salon since. I have the most patience for my hair and since caring for it myself, it is the healthiest I've ever had it. I'm a month away from microlocs and even now, I am semi nervous about someone else's hands being in my hair, because most stylists have no patience, and I'm hella protective over my hair; we've been through alot.
We’re the only group we seem to think that manipulated hair shouldn’t cause damage. It all does. Even combing causes damage. Leaving it alone causes damage. We cry if we lose a little bit, even though that’s normal. Most other groups just move on.
I've been going to white salons for nearly 15 years.....because them and the Puerto Rican Salon never damaged my hair. Not all black stylists but enough that I wanted out.
My heart broke when she said “I don’t look good in any style…” I HAVE overcome these issues. I never thought I would think I was beautiful with my natural hair. The only way to get there is to challenge yourself… if you never get to know your hair you will never love it. I’m not going to bash her. I appreciate her honesty. But, I feel really sorry for her.
If natural Afro-coily hair is so unattractive, why are there so much advertising campaigns going out their way to try and make the Afro- coily hair seem undesirable due to Eurocentric beauty standards. Obviously Afro-coily hair is a threat, especially to Eurocentric beauty standards, hence why they try so hard to tarnish our glorious hair beauty. Please stop letting insecure and horrid lies affect your beautiful hair glory, it's just envy and malice, in regards natural Afro -coily and Afro-curly hair. Ladies let that natural hair beautifully bloom. By the way if that Afro-American lady in the video who was degrading natural Afro-coily hair, started to find time and patience to grow her natural hair the right way, using the correct method. Her natural hair silk pressed would probably look better than that weave or wig that she is wearing.
@kenleyambroise I totally agree. The Eurocentricists get a thrill out of making another ethnicity and tribe, feel inferior due to being beautifully different and unique. All mankind go back to Adam and Eve, something that these carnal minded and superficial group of people ignorantly dismiss.
@kenleyambroise Plus interesting enough Afro/Afro-mixed women with coily and curly hair they like to divide and conquer, as they consider these amazingly unique hair types as an ultimate threat to Eurocentric beauty standards.
@@yesplatinum7956 As women with Afro-coily hair particularly are getting back their regal crown, and rejecting the Eurocentric beauty standards, that has destroyed many for centuries. The less women who relax or texturise their hair, this decreases their commercial sales, as women are no longer buying into the whitewashed lies.
@@yesplatinum7956 They see the beauty of women of colour and how they are on the same coin. This threatens their 'Goldilocks ' and 'Snow White' whitewashed beauty fairytale lies. They do not want their European woman to be side lined or marginalised by a woman of colour, especially a so called (authentic looking) dark skinned 'Black Woman." Hence why they flip the script on you. Invert what they say. What is black is white..
1: “ To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” (Oscar Wilde) 2: “I learned a long time ago, the wisest thing I can do, is to be on my own side.” (Dr. Maya Angelou) 3: “ It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” (Warsan Shine) Peace and blessings to everyone, one love! 👍🏽❤️
If you are a child or teen this is considered verbal abuse and should not be tolerated. This can be detrimental to the mental health and self worth of a child.
It is deeper than self hate or lack of self love. A lot of it has to do with psychological protection and using aspects of non blk identity aka straight hair as a tool to evade the abuse that is often targeted towards our natural features and identity. This bullying comes from blk ppl themselves and they wanna act oblivious when bw RESPOND to the bullying.🙄. Natural hair is beautiful and will grow BUT it is about the distortion of our self image trough the abuse we face that we then project onto our hair which makes it break and cause scalp issues. To reduce this issue to self hate is dishonest and shallow and just another thing used to bully and humiliate bw. As a got ya moment or something. I love that you went into the deeper conversation❤
This is straight up facts. She’s been deeply abused, psychologically, by her own people! Same reason why I hid underneath wigs for so long. You expect to hear it from an ignorant white person, but hearing it from someone the same color/culture as you? It hits real deep.
Thank you for pointing out the bullying that causes black women to exhibit "self-hate." I have been natural for more than a decade. And I only realized recently that the only two people on this planet who handled my hair with love and TLC are me and my mother. Every other set of hands on this head treated it with abuse and disdain, complaining out loud (or in one case asking if they could relax my hair before they worked with it because it seemed that hard to deal with to them). The abuse runs so deep.
I have said that black men being able to wear a lot of protective styles while simultaneously doing masculine things (sports, gang activities, rapping etc) has automatically tricked society into associating these styles as masculine. It makes no sense that a male rapper can comfortably walk around with little girl beads in his hair, but actual black women are judged and ridiculed.
You can't compare an entertainer with a normal person. They also wear outrageous clothes and say outrageous things. Normal people can't do that either.
There’s a certain level of confidence that black women with natural hair exude..! I’m thankful to have a Mum who kept natural hair and never relaxed or straightened my hair.
I must admit she's right, it will never change as long as moms like her put weaves and extensions in their little girls hair from very young! I have had a problem with this new normal surroundings black little girls and weaves for many years, it's really heartbreaking to see a 3 year old wearing extensions down to her waist ...and there's no shame anymore! Many moms are teaching self hate to their daughters through these practices, they might not realize it, but based on what she said she knows she has self hate issues, so some might even be aware of what they are doing...it's really sad, but hopefully you reach many of these women through your videos, thanks for what you are doing! 😊
The crazy thing is,, more men talk to me with a wig on then my locs. I tested this and with my locs, mid back length and I love my 4c hair… but not many even look my way. Men are also programmed by social media/society to like these wigs
_Why_ does this woman's voice sound like Samantha Cooker on TH-cam?!😅 🤔 Black women's hair does grow. It just doesn't lay flat/wavy/etc like non-Black people's hair (Asians, Whites, Indigenous, Latinx, Middle Easterns, Aboriginals, etc.) She needs to stop putting down Black hair...and her own as well 💯!
I think it is her because I have heard her speak badly about black women's hair. I've commented about it a few times in her comment section. I didn't even notice until you mentioned it; she does sound just like her!
After several years of relaxers and heat damage my natural hair has been through it. I wear wigs to minimize the stress I put on my hair but I refuse to wear straight wigs. I only wear wigs that mimic my natural curl pattern and I get so many compliments and often people think it is my natural hair. My daughter hair much thicker, kinky hair and she has LOVED her hair since the day she was born. Loves her afro puffs, bantu knots, twists, you name it, she adores her hair and I am so thankful and will pour into that every chance I get.
How can your hair that grows directly from your scalp not be for you? TMHYah literally made it just for you. I am the second of 3 girls (same mom, same dad) and each of us has different textures. I say we should drop the European beauty standards and embrace ourselves and love who we are, period.
. I Have a problem with people that wear fake hair making suggestions about how I should wear mine. I consider natural hair as that which is grown from one's own scalp and worn in whatever way that makes me feel attractive.And all women should feel that way without others opinions.
A lot of black people of her generation and older have those views. So yes, she definitely got those views from the community. The black community needs to take accountability for how women like her feel about themselves, instead of shaming them for expressing views that they've been taught. If the community doesn't change, it will continue to produce people who think like that woman.
I agree with this ! All these comments calling her crazy but until we stop with these protective styles and start wesring our own hair. I will continue to think that most black women hate their hair!
@@AshaHassellwell bw do hate their hair but it didn’t come out of no where. It is time they stop trying to justify why and unlearn that hatred. Too many are selfish to even hear it or attempt to
Our hair grows at the same rate as other races. Our issue is that we have the most delicate hair of any race, which makes our hair very prone to breakage. Black women don't have a growth problem, we a retention problem.
Self hatred is so sad. I absolutely love my natural. I’m so glad that I had good examples of natural beauty growing. My childhood bestie was from Cape Verde. She was a beautiful dark skin girl with curly hair. I had a relaxer, because of her I grew out my natural hair and never looked back. This was long before TH-cam was a thing back in the year 2000. Most black girls had relaxers back then. I have never had a hard time growing my hair.
That lady is 100% correct on a lot of the statements she made. I disagree with her saying black women don't look feminine with short natural hair because obviously that's not true, but a lot of people THINK certain black women don't and will attempt to tear you down for it. This issue often has a primary target. No short hair texture is disrespected by black people as much as 4C hair is, and that's just a cold fact. I never see someone roasting women with short 3C or 4A hair. The women who get targeted the most are usually dark or brown skinned. The same black people who get upset by her statements are some of the ones who will be quick to make nasty colorist comments without hesitation. THEY are part of the reason self hatred continues to fester and destroy self esteem... but they won't acknowledge that.
I am saddened to hear this. Saying natural hair isn't for everyone is like saying God made a mistake. He did not! I feel you have to change your mind set about how you feel about yourself.
My hair grows, and so do other bw hair. That wig on her head don’t look good either, so I’m not sure what she is talking about. She is projecting her low self esteem. Also, I know plenty of bm that love bw how we are.
Whenever I wear wigs I get a lot of attention from “Hood Rich” men. When I wear my natural hair I get attention from high-value men “ Doctors, Lawyers, Athletes.” It seems men of value much rather prefer natural hair. That is my perspective.
Perspective is an interesting concept. Just about everyone's experience will be a little different based on features, skin color, hair texture and other phenotypical attributes. On other channels, I've seen content creators project guilt or try to push expectations onto viewers that may not be realistic based on how they look Also it's on brand for those content creators to analyze alternative beauty standards and practice what they preach. But much of they're viewers don't make the same profit or benefit from rejecting western norms.
Yes as a black woman with natural the compliments i get compared to non textured extensions look is outstanding i dont even bother wesring extensions that isnt afro texture...my man is yt and cant stand a silk press LOL rather me in my natural state plus gives our little girl self worth to know your kinks and curls ARE JUST FINE AS THEY ARE! you were born this way...its hair not a disease that needs controlling or life is over
Many of us need a reminder that we are of the Divine, TMH Daughters...and The Most High does not make mistakes. We are Perfectly Perfect just the way we are. We are different for a divine reason. Man made media wants us to believe otherwise. 💖🙏🏾
I just cut off all my to take the perm out. My 1st day at work with basically no hair was scary for me. But I had to admit to myself that I needed to learn how to care for my natural hair and love it. ❤️
Let’s pray for her as other black women,that God helps her to realize the beauty He has given her and every other black woman out there. She is hurt and so are many other black women, God loves you and after creating you He said this is good He died for you and numbered every hair on your head.Jesus loves you. Don’t forget that you can talk to God about your hurts and insecurities ,even your hair and body He cares about it all.He is the only one that gives peace and heals.Love you ❤❤❤
Beautiful Comment. Many of us need a reminder that we are of the Divine, his Daughters...and The Most High does not make mistakes. We are Perfectly Perfect. Man made media wants us to believe otherwise.
A person has the right to dislike something about themselves (like those "groups" of girls with wht skin who get nose jobs and perms for their 16th or 18th bdays or the wht women who are obsessed with tanning or botox at age 25 and nobody bats an eye), and some people can do it WITHOUT having low self esteem. Maybe she DOES have low self esteem, but let's not AUTOMATICALLY equate thinking you're unattractive with having low self esteem. I know women who think they are unattractive who have high self esteem, exude confidence, have/wear their natural hair, and have very attractive, provider, protector husbands that they attracted while feeling UNattractive. Its THEIR opinion, the same as when they think someone else is unattractive. It does not always equal low self esteem and we really should move away from using so many absolutes and just allow bw to be different, to have autonomy and individuality, their own opinions. Her opinion of some bw may not fit everyone, (which she DID make a "not all" comment about) but it fits some. No other race ON AVERAGE has to nearly become hair experts to figure out how to get and keep long hair (they just exist and it just grows), just like most blk ppl don't need to tan, like some people have to MOVE MOUNTAINS just to have clear skin for a week and others have the worst diets and habits but look 20 at age 30. Some people's nails grow, and other women with long hair have stubby nails that don't grow or they grow and quickly break. We're different, and its ok, we just find what work for us. Its not ok to keep invalidating some bw's feelings and experiences, and this is something that I have to remind myself as well. Its almost like bw are the ONLY women who are expected to CONSTANTLY be the target and butt of every joke and bashing (esp dark skinned bw) yet maintain God-like self esteem and never have the freedom to be honest about their own dislikes. Be real and excel from there. ❤️
Great video! My hair personally grows slower than average, but healthy hair care has helped me retain the length. I really wish I could help that lady. You're right, she is hurting.
This is so insulting to Black women. She basically said we are ugly and that's why we can't rock a twa. Most BW IMO look stunning with a short fro. This woman is projecting.
I love natural hair I always would get compliments wearing big beautiful curls . This lady needs to learn to love herself tbh . Also lupita has short natural hair and the media loves her never called her masculine looking she’s always called beautiful and eloquent
A white co-worker said to me"I like your hair the other way(straight)it was washed that morning,so it was in its "shrink" state. I smiled n said "yeah." THE next day,It was a BIG ,blow-out afro,like a Nefertiti Headpiece!!her face was like 😮😮mine😂😂😂
Like she said, on the internet, natural hair is pushed and encouraged but in real life, but in real life, it's completely different thing. It take a lot of work and time that I don't have and you get different reactions when you wear straight hair vs natural hair. Me personally, I don't care either way but she's not wrong in her point of view. It all depends on who's wearing it.
Damn shame …. I like that she’s honest and I really feel sorry for her. Black people, we are the originators of mankind and the start of civilization but we reduce ourselves to this because of the mental slavery and trauma. It’s sad
After being natural for a long time, I have embraced it. The young woman who spoke earlier saddens me which likely comes from enduring years of verbal abuse. Taking care of my own hair has taught me a lot, and now my hair is healthier than ever. I regret not going natural sooner.
She has experienced a lot a pain in hair issues. As far as wigs , these wig wearer look be looking a drag queen. Been natural for 10 p!us years. Stopped focusing on long hair but healthy hair.
God, created every race to look as they do to have the types of hair they have and out of all races, he created black people to have the only kinky texture hair and this truly stands out, it stands alone what more, no races can copy our natural hair regardless to how they may see it and I know God did this for a purpose. To say u don’t like ur natural kinky texture is the same as saying u don’t accept God’s gift.
There was ALOT of truth in what that woman with the wig on said about black people. Whether yall want to admit it or not. Why do you need to LEARN how to love your true self or natural hair if you didn’t have those same beliefs as her 🧐
I think the comment stating that women who have the typical Afro- Coily hair, that very few have proper long hair swooping down their back is true, it is a minority of women who have this long or super long hair length. 20 years ago back in the day a lot of Afro-Caribbean and African women especially West African women, majority whose hair was relaxed did not have long hair cascading past their shoulders, shoulder length relaxed hair was seen as long back then. Plus very few women would wear their natural beautiful Afro-coily hair like Lauryn Hill,YaYa Decosta or Amera Le Negra. I think with the natural hair movement and the impression it has made on the Afro-Caribbean, Afro-Hispanic/Latina, Afro-American and African community etc, a lot of women have been inspired to wear there natural hair, especially now there is an emerging remnant of echelon women who have long or super long Afro-coily hair, which is inspiring many women to grow their natural hair long. As well as just wear their natural hair in a healthy state, regardless of hair length. Now women are finding better suited techniques, and natural and organic hair products to stimulate amazing hair growth, so that the hair grows long, and most importantly have a beautiful head of healthy hair that is all natural. Thank the Heavenly Father through the True Messiah for this testimony. Women stay humble and keep striving for the best.😁
Not all black women come from the background of having to learn to love their hair. Some of us have been natural our whole lives and embrace the curls and coils. the only reason you have to LEARN to love your hair is because someone taught you it was bad, which is false so unlearning it is just correcting the way you think. Not everything has to be as negative as people make it out to be, we were taught wrong in the first place so it’s just corrective learning.
@@AbianahAlmeida maybe my experience is a bit different because no one has really ever talked bad about my hair - I grew up in a black community however social institutions I went to were predominantly white. Still never got any flack for my hair. I would see it mainly online the bullying of women with 4b/4c hair and it mainly came from the black American community. I’m of Jamaican descent and live in the UK so maybe that’s why my opinion is a bit different, you had to go outside with the hair that grew out your scalp and make it look presentable, that’s all.
I think the comment stating that women who have the typical Afro- Coily hair, that very few have proper long hair swooping down their back is true to some extent, it is a minority of women who have this long or super long hair length. Many of these women with amazing long Afro-coily hair are on TH-cam.20 years ago back in the day a lot of Afro-Caribbean and African women especially West African women, majority whose hair was relaxed did not have long hair cascading past their shoulders, shoulder length relaxed hair was seen as long back then. There are some women who had a medium short bob relaxed hair, considered their hair to be long, particularly those who were growing out their hair from a pixie/cropped short style.Plus very few women would wear their natural beautiful Afro-coily hair like Lauryn Hill, YaYa Decosta or Amera Le Negra. I think with the natural hair movement and the impression it has made on the Afro-Caribbean, Afro-Hispanic/Latina, Afro-American and African community etc, a lot of women have been inspired to wear their natural hair, especially now there is an emerging remnant of echelon women who have long or super long Afro-coily hair, which is inspiring many women to grow their natural hair long. Especially now women are finding better suited techniques, and natural and organic hair products to stimulate amazing hair growth, so that the hair grows long. Thank the Heavenly Father through the True Messiah for this testimony. Women stay humble and keep striving for the best.
She said she didn’t look feminine with natural hair. She doesn’t look feminine with straight hair either. She has a problem with how she herself looks…and that has nothing to do with hair.
You said she doesn’t look feminine with straight hair, not her. Don’t just assume stuff because she clearly said she thinks she looks more feminine with straight hair
@@thesoutherngossip4548 The worse thing about what this person is saying is that this woman does not look feminine either in straight or kinky hair. I wonder why that person thinks that the woman does not look feminine at all.
She's so wrong! Shes beautiful and would rock any natural hair style especially short! Shes hurting deep inside i can hear it! Even though im mulatto i have suffered a lot of racial verbal abuse just for being biracial growing up! She needs a hug! 😢😞
You are so right, she would look great with a short natural style, her features would be better suited to a style close to her head. The wig/weaves drown her features.
I feel very very sorry for her and this is why I make it a point to wear my own natural hair most of the year. I do braids for 6 weeks max when I’m in grind time and I have kinky 4a-4c clip ins extensions for last minute plans if I’m in twists/fro. We have got to own our beauty and make things work for us. I got the clip ins idea from a white friend who wears her own hair 99% of the time but if we’re stepping to the club or a nice date night, it’s great to have the option for versatility!
She thinks natural hair makes her look masculine. There are some Black women that look masculine with or without straight hair. Imo, the straight hair wig just makes her appear hard and older. She would look better with locs, updo braids midlength twists/coils. I did feel a bit sad when she said she only feels feminine wearing straight hair. That's very troubling statement but it's very real. I think it has a lot to do with how we see ourselves, the lives we often live and the fact that we are so very different than any other race. Also negative marketing has a lot to do with our self esteem as Black women. Black women are not ever shown living glamorous lives or soft feminine lives or being desired with natural coily textured hair. Also, it is no lie that coily hair is high maintenance because it really is especially when it's between 3 to 6 inches and often chronically dry with 2 days no matter how much H20 you drink. Although some of us hold natural textured hair in high regard, we need to be honest that caring for our hair can be a lot to handle especially when it's midlength. Also, it requires more attention than other types of hair especially if it's not in braids which is often the main reason of why so many of us find our own hair dissatisfying.
Everyday I'm grateful for my parents who instilled self love for my hair. I embraced my texture early on, with my dad being my hair crush with his long natural hair. I can only imagine how one must feel to hate your hair so much you put others hair texture on yours. Don't include me in that "we". I wanna look majestic like Mufasa.✨
The bad wig is not feminine at all. The flatness of it clashes with her round features. Natural hair definitely suits her better than that flat cheap plastic wig. And if she doesn't want to "look like mufasa" there are millions of different hairstyles. She haven't even tried.
I wish this lady could see how beautiful she is. She has really nice features. So as you think so as you are. If she thought she was pretty she would bring that out with natural hair or not.
As a woman who's struggled with self esteem all my life, it breaks my heart how much of this is rooted in psychology. That poor woman wasn't talking so much about hair as she was honestly and openly confessing hurt. Yes, I choked up because I know her pain well. And I know that my own hurt is rooted in rejection and bullying, abuse and very old trauma. Two things saved me from that brutal hell. First, when I was finally empowered to conquer my worst features. For me, being motivated to DO something about my issues helped so much. But I had to set healthy limits of what I was willing to do. I refused to hurt myself in the pursuit of appearance. NO surgery or procedures that could cause damage. The goal was to be MY personal best. Part of that is to be healthy. And second, consciously removing myself from female competition. This competition instinct takes many forms and for me, it was just knowing that I was 'less' than every other woman in the room. Feeling small, despite my best efforts. I didn't feel envious, just never enough. "Comparison is the thief of joy." This is so very true. When I found myself with a woman who was SO much more beautiful than I ever could be that I couldn't help noticing, I chose to shift that shameful small feeling into joy for her. I'd offer a sincere compliment and chose to feel genuine appreciation for her natural gifts. I believe that we're human souls piloting around an animalistic body. Too often that animal gets hold of the reigns and our higher self has to wrestle control away. The animal is constantly fighting to feel safe, satiated, and gratified. I wants and needs. It's really a toddler at heart. Our higher soul is the adult and is capable of great wisdom. One of the most empowering realizations we can have is to recognize that we can control how we choose how to perceive and feel. When we practice that skill (and it does take practice), we can be MUCH happier and more centered.
I straightened my hair after 9 years natural. It was nice and it was a shame how everyone reacted towards me differently. I liked it too but i honestly just straightened my hair to see where i was at in regards to split ends and etc. I felt like an importer honestly. I washed my hair today and i prayed because i was so happy to see my coils again. We have to love ourselves first.
Saying she doesn’t look feminine is bull. Just admit that you don’t know how to style your hair because that’s exactly what that wig is saying. The natural hair movement failed because it was just as expensive as everything else AND because it was labor intensive. If it’s our natural hair, why did we need so many products? Why did it take so many steps? Why did it take a whole damn day?! We were promised wash and go, but what we got were people blaming us for our curl pattern. Blaming us for not using the right stuff. Blaming us for not following the right steps. Oh, and white women have issues too. Their hair doesn’t hold a curl or have body. They damage their hair too. The difference is that they aren’t going around saying other white women are less than because they need a perm for curls. They aren’t constantly telling each other that if they’d just do this, that will happen. No, it’s always us.
![ลองสั่งของจากแอพ temu ถูกจริงหรอ?? [โกงไหมครับ ep.88 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RTcZSQTiDZw/mqdefault.jpg)
Everything was cool until she started saying "We", I can respect her honesty regarding how she feels about herself but aint no "we" sis
Right, cause was like who the hell is, “we”?
She can speak for herself and her lack of beauty
They always do that. I kept getting mentally ill women on my fyp saying "US BLACK WOMEN ARE UGLY AND BALD!!" and I'm like girl who is us? Who is we? You, but definitely not me 😂
I like my real hair the devil complains
@@illiciumverum6149I have big thick hair. erm I am not bald 🌝 like don’t bring me into this
“Commit to a script of adoring your hair instead of apologising for it!” 😭🥺
@@Tina-wj8qgLearn how to exegete the Scriptures. 😩
❤
@Whateverbro888 sounds like a self esteem problem.
@VE-qb2mb well stay away from this space it is not for you
@Whateverbro888 stay away from this space it is not for you
Dang, this is a deep-rooted self-hate and anti-blackness. Her saying we don't look feminine or pretty in the hair God blessed us with is just sad. I appreciate the honesty. I think a lot of black women feel the same way but are too afraid to admit it because of the backlash. The 1st step towards healing is admitting the truth of the problem.
She is definitely repeating what someone else told her...either in childhood or adulthood and she believed them. I was told I was ugly for a long time in primary /elementary school until I started to get attention in secondary high school from boys and men even though I had short nappy hair and a triple-A cup!! Lol! Then I started reading fashion magazines and I understood the concept of beauty. I also studied Art history in high school and learnt to look at features differently. My education saved me so I could get out of that constant negative loop. I was always aware that there were people out there who thought differently from those in my immediate environment. I had the opportunity to move to London and go to university and I grabbed it with both hands. Never really looked back to thinking I was ugly every again. Even now I'm way fatter!
For me, I generally LOVE my natural hair. I could never understand how a bw or bm could say they don't like afro textured hair. But I understand insecurity and history has done this. But in my personal experience, I wouldn't trade my hair for any other hair type, I think it matches me and is quite feminine. That's the mindset that is needed for this to be fixed. And finding the reason why this problem is happening.
Yea it's sad when black men aren't attracted to your natural look. It's sad when your own family or others make you feel self conscious.
I'm now on that journey and now at 47 after maybe 8yrs plus my hair is natural a good length but thin, because my hair sheds a lot ! Yea I find it hard work. Or a lot of effort for little results. So yea I wear wigs too, for body and length. Yea too many black hairdressers don't know or have the patience to look after black hair properly. That is why I rarely go to them.
Let's just appreciate hair is a big deal, especially for women and even more so black women, black women who are the most neglected, marginalised, etc...
most of the black comunity hated on blue ivys natural hair....
and its so sad she probably got a lot of hate for this too. I know when I was listening to her I was getting upset at the things she was saying but in reality, this is reality for a lot of people and as someone who is pretty deep in my radical self acceptance journey, the things she said were just really jarring. But ridiculing and shaming her for saying this is not going to help the issue
Idk what’s wrong with me; but for the past several years, me having short hair makes me feel oh so sexy.
OMG....me too! I 💜 that 4 U! Single, Sexy & Celibate over here. #ShortHairDontCare
Looks great on you!
I went natural late towards the end of the movement and I was mad I didn’t explore my twa stage more 😂. Now im at apl and enjoying the journey. One day I’ll probably cut it again.
Yes! Even with my straight hair, my favorite where always the cropped short hair styles.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving short hair. ❤✨
Asian woman (particularly indian and middle eastern) put oils in their hair more than we do. Growth oils is not just a "Black" thing.
Nobody said it was..
@@tashboog5458rewatch the video. She did say it
@@tashboog5458she did say it
I agree and if you search MSM and biotin hair grown supplement. I see a lot of non-black faces.
@@tashboog5458 The woman with the bad wig said it in her original tiktok. She said Black women use growth oils because we're bald and can't grow our hair naturally 🙁
The saddest and most powerful statement she made has nothing to do with hair. She said "the black community thrives off abuse". Because that's her experience, she also said "it will never change." Unfortunately, the same people who were criticizing her natural hair are probably also criticizing her skin tone, facial features, and everything else about her. When people don't like you, they can't find a good word to say about you. When someone loves you, just you, they will support you in loving yourself. If you're surrounded by people who enjoy hurting you, natural hair is probably not going to work out for you. She's telling the truth..
I understand the sentiment -- but then I would challenge it by saying how many of your afro features are you willing to mitigate before you stop letting said people hurt you by either setting boundaries / making a plan to find new people who won't? Does it stop with hair?
Unfortunately, it doesn't stop with hair. Think about bleaching creams, etc. I feel for the woman who made the post. As you said, you can hear the sadness and trauma in her voice. It's not just about hair. Remember in the video she said "I'm not attractive." Who told her that, and why does she believe them? It's very sad.
@@deeann7777Ushe’s being honest …
@deborahevans4259 she also said she doesn't feel pretty unless he's in a wig or wearing hair that mimics another race. And she knows it's internalized racism/ self hate but she doesn't care, it's her truth. And that's what's honest.
I visited my dad in the south last year, wearing old twists that had shrunk near chin length, but I didn't care. Hadn't seen him in years!! He finally had to broach the subject of my hair before saying "I like long hair!!" Then told me how his wife (whom he hadn't lived with in years) would cut her hair when he said that to her, but now a decade later in a bid to win him back, she's growing it out. She's also his "type" otherwise: lightskinned with some ambiguity (nothing like us daughters). What my dad couldn't fathom was that my hair is long, and i took a twist down to show him. I choose not to wear it straightened because it's easier not to.
That conversation pissed me off for weeks and had me doubting myself. I kicked myself for even feeling the need to prove myself. I learned early in childhood how to be ok with myself and dismiss everyone else because as a kid i was constantly confronted with my shortcomings, so I really had to call upon my younger self to help me through that mind fk. I realize that's where this woman's line of thinking starts. The family, friends, and community closest to us tell us what to think of ourselves early on. If we're not careful, we end up like this woman. My sister thinks just like this in many ways.
Every community has abusive people don’t loop me into that by basis of being black. Call out the people who are abusive and acknowledge there are those who are not
The part where you said the same people who laugh at your hair and features are the same ones who laugh at your edges being gone and hair being damaged. So true. Stop trying to impress folks. Folks are fickle. Take care of your natural hair and over all well-being.
It’s just a lack of hair care education and self esteem
Two things most people who say "natural hair isn't for me" would never admit because how in the world is something growing out of your own head not for you loll I respect honesty not bs
Yes!
I shared this with a woman venting about her natural hair in a chat. My advice was left ignored.
Learning our hair is a whole new education. It is actually different from the European way of washing, detangling straight hair.
You will do well with education.
@@fin4008 Let’s be real. A lot of these women’s mothers never taught them how to take care of their hair. Their child should have been knowing hair care practices from the age of 3 onward.
Many black mothers lost the understanding of how to take care of their hair. Many generations of women in their families were never taught how to take care of it. So when it comes time for their daughters, they overapply tension, don’t know how to observe how their child’s hair looks, and become addicted to relaxers, wigs, weaves, and fake braiding hair as a means of not having to confront who they are and their beauty as well as how that beauty presents to the world.
If you can’t go outside with your hair in its shrunken state while it’s healthy. You have issues. If you are developing traction alopecia because of the hairstyles you wear and refuse to see a doctor, you have issues. If you start wearing crazy ass styles that look shit with your beauty and features all as a means to hide your ugliness, you have issues.
Too many black women don’t want to do the work. They’re ashamed and embarrassed. They don’t want to wear their hair in the styles that protect it and helps it grow. Wearing natural twists that barely reach your ears, let alone your shoulders scares you because you think you’re prone to looking like a man. Let’s have THAT conversation first.
Excellent comment. You hit the nail on the head!
Also poor nutrition! I would bet you money, I am older than the woman in the hair hat..
My poor mother told me my natural hair did not look good. I ignored her. I know it was her programming
Your own mom? Wow that's disgusting behavior! My 2nd daughter came out darker than my other 2 her features were a lot stronger and her hair was even more coily than my other 2 girls I always told her to embrace her natural hair she's my cocoa girl so beautiful I'm mulatto her dad is Indian and black so yes she multiracial and my mom is European/Irish decent and my dad is Nigerian but you would never known that by looking at her I just wish all of this would stop life and who we are is a blessing from God no matter how we look! The world is so lost! 😢
@@red2thebone 👍🏾💜
Same, I decided to go natural at like 16 and my dad and stepmom told me I would look a hot mess wearing my natural hair. Thankfully I could careless of their opinion.
My mom told me natural hair was childish, and then she changed her mind once she saw how nice my afro was
I agree, that woman who stirred up the natural hair hornets nest is beautiful. Kinky hair would look amazing on her, as it does us all! I hope she realizes it one day. I heard a man preach, that until black women wear their natural hair AND LOVE IT, black little girls will always feel insecure. I agree. The insecure little girls will grow up to be insecure women until the mindset changes. If we don’t wear our natural hair as women for no other reason, do it for the black little girls looking at us.
BEAUTIFULLY SAID ❤
I fully agree
That man needs to educate his brothers and tell them to stop mocking & degrading our hair on social media for the whole world to see.
Part of our first trauma comes from the males in our own families and is then reinforced by the boys in kindergarten. Then it's the older boys in high school and finally the men we're trying to date & marry.
They need to be honest and admit that they have had a very big part to play in the situation we are in now instead of trying to backpedal and convince everybody that they loved our hair all along.
Parents need to teach their children outside of the media. If you really want to be happy, get off of social media. If you participate, only use more controllable apps like yt and Pinterest where you choose what you really want to see
@@leonessbutterfly8813 - I agree. We hear bw talking about what our hair is going to be like while we are literally still in the womb.
The comment she made about Mufasa...I think she needs to love her facial features first , then the relationship with her hair will improve. There is more to Mufasa than his hair.
Natural hair is just the tip of the iceberg.
Yea when she said Mufasa, I immediately concluded that she thinks being black in general is what makes her “unfeminine.” Natural hair really is just the top of the iceberg for her.
Also, Mufasa has a gorgeous mane!
I mentioned on another comment that im a leo and I love comparing my hair to a lions mane. It makes me feel so powerful and closer to our ancestors since lions are from Africa.
The only thing I agree with her saying is "You know it isn't the same. WW bleaching their hair or straightening their hair is not the same thing as what we do".
Me: looking at white women sitting in the salon every 6 weeks to get their hair bleached for 8 hours and black women sitting in the salon every 6 weeks for 8 hours so that their box braids look perfect at all times. I'm so glad I let go of perfectionism a long long time again. I look like a boho hobo hippie and I'm good with that. My bank balance is happy about it too. lol!
I wish BP who clearly have spent no real time with WP would STOP projecting BS they've overheard or assumed. WW get tracks, spend big money on blowouts, balayages, etc. Beauty practices are time-consuming regardless of hair/skin texture, complexion, etc.
@@ChampayneCole I'm aware WW do spend lots of time and money just for their blonde tracks to play peek a boo. My opinion still stands that it isn't the same as what BW are doing.
@@ChampayneCole I'm telling you hair dye has white women in a chokehold. If it's not bleach, it's covering their grays!! I just never wanted to be tied to the salon..I admire those women who can prioritise it and tolerate it.
@@marleyhill34 That's so true. It doesn't even suit 90% of them because the blonde undertones they choose usually makes them look washed out; they almost always look best in their natural hair color which is usually brown. To some extent, it seems like they're trying to adhere to European beauty standards as well; most white women actually DON'T have blonde hair or blue eyes. Most of them have brown hair and brown eyes as a collective. These beauty standards are literally killing women slowly and I refuse to participate in it at all!
I cut all of my hair off due to chemical damage two years ago and I felt so beautiful but when I was around others, I felt like I had to wear earrings, lipstick and do other things to make me look more “feminine”. It’s unfortunate that we feel so much pressure and are not allowed to just exist and be!
You can exist without the makeup etc but be prepared for how visual ppl are
Honestly as someone that rarely styles my hair and never wears makeup people just accept it. If you never give people the impression that their opinion of you matters, they'll never share it. They will compliment you when you do decide to style your hair but they won't go over board because they know it doesn't mean much to you. A style is just a style and not a mask. Oddly enough people respect it, even if it's not something they'd choose.
@@Mimi-ht6xr Generational trauma and slavery. Africans had colonisation but they always knew who they were and where they came from right down to the tribal village. They took back and fought for their freedom whereas in the Caribbean and America we had to wait until the white people relented and gave it to us. We were emancipated and desegrated in the Caribbean and North America but in Africa, Europeans had to sue for peace to end the fighting. Every African generation knew that they were free before the arrival of Europeans and fought for self determination. South Americans and Africans are the proudest people I've ever met, they never hide their identity and it radiates from them. Colonialism in Africa lasted from from the 19th century to the 20th century where as slavery and Jim Crow lasted from 1500 to 1960s. That's the difference. "when you know the history, you can free yourself from the mental slavery." to paraphrase the late great Robert Nesta Marley.
@@Mimi-ht6xrAfrican women bleach and wear straight wigs. They’re not at the top of the totem pole of the most confident black women.
Once you are content and confident with the way you look naturally, you will attract the right people. I’ve worn my hair short, no makeup for years and have been hit on by men and women telling me how beautiful I am. Asking me on dates and whatnot.
Focus on you and loving yourself. There will always be someone who thinks you’re ugly makeup, nails, long hair or not.
I worked with a white woman that had naturally curly hair. Her white boyfriend did not like curly hair, so she straightened it everyday for him. This crosses all color lines!
Yup. Because to them and Asians they are seen as having “straight hair” the get treatments.
This is so true! I have a lot of White friends and having naturally curly hair is seen as problematic and their men want them to have long, bone straight hair.
I don’t know why you’d date someone when you don’t like a NATURAL part of them. What happens when she can’t straighten her hair anymore? What happens when it falls out? Homegirl is tripping and homeboy can’t pull what he really wants.
@cece3917 not if we don't let it
@@Judah2019Fashions change. My hair is a fairly flat light brown with a bit of red, and these days a fair bit of grey...and it is absolutely straight with no natural volume at all. In the 80s, the fashion was big wavy or curly hair. To achieve this I had to crimp, roll, hot tong or perm my hair, and the perm required an awful lot of attention to manage the weakened hair that became brittle, split and broke easily...a lot of conditioning products and very careful brushing and combing.
Now I don't care very much about 'fashion', and just work with what I've got. I have had very short hair and very long hair (to my hips) during my life. I am more interested in not spending my life trying to style my hair to do something it does not want to do with products and various tools that harm my hair, aggravate my scalp and eyes.
If we all make a stand and start working with what we have it forces 'fashion' to take a wider view and stop forcing us all to try and comply with styles that very few people can achieve without chemicals, wigs, hair pieces, heated tools (straighteners or curlers) and styling products.
She doesn’t want to go to work with her natural hair looking like Mufasa. She prefers to go to work looking like Mufasa in a straight wig. She needs to accept her features before accepting her natural hair.
That said, natural hair is more compatible with our ethnic features- than straight processed added hair. Once she accepts her natural hair, then she can learn how to care for it and find the right hairstyle.
While I don’t understand her sentiments or agree with them, I empathize. My heart goes out to her.
Exactly - she actually thinks that she no longer looks like Mufasa when she puts on the wig. Ummmm no girl - you still look like her. And she is beautiful and wants to wear her natural hair.
But...
It sounds like YOU are saying she looks like Mufasa... 🙃
@@macummings7818 I agree. This is where the problem lies.
Mufasa is a lion??
@@macummings7818You’re welcome to your opinion. My opinion is, if she thinks she doesn’t look good, and that she looks like Mufasa, donning sheepskin over her scalp isn’t going to change that. Mindset is key.
Natural hair is gorgeous on all blk women, it just takes awhile to get comfortable wearing it naturally.
Agreed
Yess. I've had perms my entire life. When I was younger, Mom told me "your hair isn't that good". I haven't permed my hair in 9 months and I am loving the coils that are coming through.
@Whateverbro888 not it's true human hair not dog fur
I got comfortable wearing my big natural hair in high school(1968) onward. I have always loved my jet blue black thick natural hair. I have always had men loving my hair. I am salt and pepper not. I haven’t dyed my hair nor will I. This poor woman needs to work on her self esteem, first.
All the other races of women have “natural hair” so why do people get so upset about black natural hair? This convo always upsets me❤
🎯💯
Our hair is a different texture.
@@geewizwiz3 A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TEXTURE w/ DIFFERENT PROPERTIES. Why do we gasslight ourselves????
I wish natural hair was never banned in the workplace because this has been passed down generation through generation. We probably wouldn’t be here today
@@PrincessYonna1 It is all started during slavery. So I feel like even if the hair was never banned from the workplace, we would still have this issue. Black women were made to wear scarves or cut their hair off during slavery. It is an old generational trauma.
I was born with 4c hair and I will die with it. Never been someone to GAF about what self hating black people or other races have to say. I sense the discomfort and shock of some (not used to seeing natural afro hair these days) when I wear my natural hair and get a few compliments too. The key is to not GAF and keep it moving. Regardless of your life choices someone will always have something to say. In one ear and out the other. Stay blessed people x
Oooooo...😂😂😂😂....well said!!!!
@@carlalamar6193 Thank you sis x
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿no lies detected! You can Wear all the weaves and relaxers and SOMEONE will say ish...just wear your hair and live ya life! I have embraced my 4c and the fact my edges do not lay slick and im aiiggt with that
“THE KEY IS TO NGAF AND KEEP IT MOVING.” Yes ma’am!
Black hair does grow, it's just not as apparent because of its coily texture, a.k.a. "shrinkage." Also, if you have scalp damage from chemical relaxers or traction alopecia from wearing wigs and weaves too tightly, of course your hair isn't going to grow at a normal rate. Yes prejudices definitely exist when it comes to natural hair. I get complimented when I wear wigs vs. when I wear my natural hair. But her point about Black hair not growing is grossly incorrect. If Black girls were taught to embrace and care for their hair at a young age, it would prevent practices that could slow hair growth. And from her opinions I'm going to assume she was taught from a young age that her natural hair is undesirable.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but afrocentric features, hair textures, and skin tones are beautiful. We are stunning!❤
Do you feel this way about all races of women?
@@MyAccountForCommenting The subject matter is black women not all women, have a nice day!
@@SelfLove4eva So, "no."
❤❤❤
There are stunning women in every race , pretty ones, mediocre ones and the truly unfortunate, so blanket statements like “we are beautiful “, doesn’t help women and girls with more grasp of reality.
She lost me as soon as she said that us black women are ugly and don’t grow long hair. I had that ignorant mentality when I was kid because my hair would not grow for the life of me because of relaxers and heat damage. But now as an adult, I have been natural for 3 years and my hair has grown so much, almost to the middle of my back 🙌🏽 I suggest she needs to wear more protective styles and take care of her hair better 💯
I thought women braid their hair down under their wigs. Is that not a protective style or do they re-braid it too often? My hair grows like crazy when I braid it down to do crochet passion twists. I leave it for 3-4 weeks.
@@MyAccountForCommenting yes that’s a protective style. Me personally I like sewins, but wigs are cool too
Honestly she said she knows it’s a shame, and she shouldn’t feel that way- and the proceeded to say her eyes aren’t blind. Her problem doesn’t lie with her hair but her features because she follows up with “I don’t look good with most hairstyles” When it first started I felt angry but now, I feel her. She’s even raised in a different era and time- you can hear her inner child speaking the whole time.
Exactly, like from an outsider i think she would look much better with her natural hair because she has bold and strong features but she has to find that acceptance within herself. One of the first things i noted is her age too, its usually older women that struggle pretty bad with this stuff and I feel for them
@@baegonia yes she would, also locs, twist, braids. Black women don’t understand how exotic, beautiful, & intricate braids are possessing an elegance of Heaven and wonder of nature. It also adds the appearance of youth.
Sounded like she was gonna cry at some points, I could hear the sadness in her voice
@@JesusLovesEVERYTHING Yes her voice broke and trembled this is really paining her. 💕 I’m sending her so much love and will pray for her to be transformed by the renewing of her mind in Jesus name!!
Ps you are 100% right that the protective styles (twists etc) are not seen as feminine but those are the styles that most textured hair thrives in most. But the beauty is, no one can tell me I am not feminine. It's time we stop allowing strangers with their own limiting beliefs (about themselves even) to tell us what we are and are not because of..gasp...hair.
The main strangers that make black women hate their hair is the black male strangers in their beds
PREACH ❤
@@7mariposas775amen...I have to say when I stopped dating and decided to decenter men completely, my hair started to thrive. I was able to leave it alone and kept it moisturized in twists; I refuse/refused to wear a wig. 3 yrs later, my hair is now almost waist length...I'm 5'8
A creator I follow Shannon Bailee usually keeps her hair in twists and honestly she is one of my biggest inspos, her and Eugenia Kelcy, are my loves.
I don't think twists themselves are ugly, many hairstyles that are not styled would look "unflattering" regardless of who it is.
She's stating what is true to her. Her feelings are valid. Some may not agree with her, but I wouldn't bash her for her feelings.❤
And that would've been fine if she said *"My hair does not grow."* No one would've batted an eyelid outside of probably offering her pointers. She got on the internet seen by millions and said "Black hair does not grow," which then made it Black people's business to put her straight. And what she said about growth oil? No one sells hair oil more than Asians. They are the reason people put rice water and onions in their hair. People have a problem with her projection of her low self esteem onto all Black people. She said letting us be great "puts wig on." Then calls natural Black hair "Mufasa"...wait, that was actually funny😂
I agree with this… She can feel how she feels and love her truth but she can’t say other people truth and I think she did that a few times
Yup. This is her opinion.
@@jasminelewis315i agree
She needs to state it for HERSELF. Notice how she's speaking for the collective. So she needs to be bashed.
I agree 100% when you said that a lot of length retention styles are tied to masculinity. Ive been doing braids instead of mini twists because of my schedule and my guy friend associated my style with Travis Scott and I have had a guy say it looks like Da Brat. I'm still wearing my hair in the same style because I want to reach my hair goals. Love this channel 💕
I think the opposite. I think the men look fem
If that is you on the picture. You are pretty with pretty hair. 😊
You need to get rid of that guy friend, Sis.
Middle fingers in the air to your “friend”.
My dreads have been called worms (I’m not particular about my hair being called dreads or locs) and I started them when my hair was 2 inches long. People always thought I was a stud or a lesbian when my second year of having dreads rolled around and I’m not 😅! I got mistaken for a man a lot more and being tall confused men even more… men are simple minded lol.
When my length picked up then I got more appreciation from others about my hair and more attention from men. If I wasn’t secure within myself and I didn’t accept wearing my hair as it naturally is and style it so that I’ll have variety; I might not have my hair today and I’m so glad I’m still natty because I think my hair is one of my best features just because of how much intention went into the nurturing of my hair!
I hope those black women struggling with loving their hair just give it a chance even going as far as figuring out how your genetics can effect your growth pattern! 💚
Thanks for tuning in to my unorganized rant lol!
Although I am not in agreement with her clumping black women into a category, I do appreciate her sharing her experiences. I see a lot of pain reflected in her eyes. In the end, I think that individuals should rock with what resonates with them, whether that's natural hair or not, without shaming occurring on either side.
Exactly
I was saying the same thing to myself, that she is making a blanket statement about black women and their viewpoint.
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I don't think the wig resonates either. She seemed uncomfortable the way she kept brushing her hands through it every 30 seconds.
19:06 It is rare. I noticed since my last relaxer at about 21 years old, that hair salons are not about healthy hair. I haven't been back to a hair salon since. I have the most patience for my hair and since caring for it myself, it is the healthiest I've ever had it. I'm a month away from microlocs and even now, I am semi nervous about someone else's hands being in my hair, because most stylists have no patience, and I'm hella protective over my hair; we've been through alot.
Facts, healthy hair is not a priority at any hair salon.
We’re the only group we seem to think that manipulated hair shouldn’t cause damage. It all does. Even combing causes damage. Leaving it alone causes damage. We cry if we lose a little bit, even though that’s normal. Most other groups just move on.
I've been going to white salons for nearly 15 years.....because them and the Puerto Rican Salon never damaged my hair. Not all black stylists but enough that I wanted out.
There are more natural hair salons these days that care about hair health, timely trims and proper care, but it's definitely not the majority.
My heart broke when she said “I don’t look good in any style…” I HAVE overcome these issues. I never thought I would think I was beautiful with my natural hair. The only way to get there is to challenge yourself… if you never get to know your hair you will never love it.
I’m not going to bash her. I appreciate her honesty. But, I feel really sorry for her.
she feels more prettier with wigs but she don't look prettier in wigs. What you feel and what you look like is two different things.
That maybe true.But why do we make others opinions relevant?
@@barbararichardson2747 If its irrelevant. than don't complain when ppl are looking snicking and laughing at you.
If natural Afro-coily hair is so unattractive, why are there so much advertising campaigns going out their way to try and make the Afro- coily hair seem undesirable due to Eurocentric beauty standards. Obviously Afro-coily hair is a threat, especially to Eurocentric beauty standards, hence why they try so hard to tarnish our glorious hair beauty. Please stop letting insecure and horrid lies affect your beautiful hair glory, it's just envy and malice, in regards natural Afro -coily and Afro-curly hair. Ladies let that natural hair beautifully bloom. By the way if that Afro-American lady in the video who was degrading natural Afro-coily hair, started to find time and patience to grow her natural hair the right way, using the correct method. Her natural hair silk pressed would probably look better than that weave or wig that she is wearing.
@kenleyambroise I totally agree. The Eurocentricists get a thrill out of making another ethnicity and tribe, feel inferior due to being beautifully different and unique.
All mankind go back to Adam and Eve, something that these carnal minded and superficial group of people ignorantly dismiss.
@kenleyambroise Plus interesting enough Afro/Afro-mixed women with coily and curly hair they like to divide and conquer, as they consider these amazingly unique hair types as an ultimate threat to Eurocentric beauty standards.
@@mariepearl-harbour2335 why would it be a threat?
@@yesplatinum7956 As women with Afro-coily hair particularly are getting back their regal crown, and rejecting the Eurocentric beauty standards, that has destroyed many for centuries.
The less women who relax or texturise their hair, this decreases their commercial sales, as women are no longer buying into the whitewashed lies.
@@yesplatinum7956 They see the beauty of women of colour and how they are on the same coin. This threatens their 'Goldilocks ' and 'Snow White' whitewashed beauty fairytale lies. They do not want their European woman to be side lined or marginalised by a woman of colour, especially a so called (authentic looking) dark skinned 'Black Woman." Hence why they flip the script on you. Invert what they say. What is black is white..
1: “ To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” (Oscar Wilde)
2: “I learned a long time ago, the wisest thing I can do, is to be on my own side.” (Dr. Maya Angelou)
3: “ It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” (Warsan Shine)
Peace and blessings to everyone, one love! 👍🏽❤️
My mom is white passing and always talks negatively about my 4c hair.
Im sorry about that. Texturism is so deeply internalized.
Time to go NO CONTACT! 💯
If you are a child or teen this is considered verbal abuse and should not be tolerated. This can be detrimental to the mental health and self worth of a child.
@@AbianahAlmeida I'm an adult lol
@@mariejane1567- but her statement still stands.
It is deeper than self hate or lack of self love. A lot of it has to do with psychological protection and using aspects of non blk identity aka straight hair as a tool to evade the abuse that is often targeted towards our natural features and identity. This bullying comes from blk ppl themselves and they wanna act oblivious when bw RESPOND to the bullying.🙄. Natural hair is beautiful and will grow BUT it is about the distortion of our self image trough the abuse we face that we then project onto our hair which makes it break and cause scalp issues. To reduce this issue to self hate is dishonest and shallow and just another thing used to bully and humiliate bw. As a got ya moment or something. I love that you went into the deeper conversation❤
This is straight up facts. She’s been deeply abused, psychologically, by her own people! Same reason why I hid underneath wigs for so long. You expect to hear it from an ignorant white person, but hearing it from someone the same color/culture as you? It hits real deep.
@@tammya5403y’all it’s not just us white people inflict those beliefs far before we do.
Thank you for pointing out the bullying that causes black women to exhibit "self-hate." I have been natural for more than a decade. And I only realized recently that the only two people on this planet who handled my hair with love and TLC are me and my mother. Every other set of hands on this head treated it with abuse and disdain, complaining out loud (or in one case asking if they could relax my hair before they worked with it because it seemed that hard to deal with to them). The abuse runs so deep.
@@SpiritVines- we can hear black women talking about our hair while we are still in the womb.
Exactly!!!!!!
Every time she says "feminine," just replace it with "Caucasian"
All hair grows at 1/2 inch per month, at least that is what science says.
1/4”-1/2”
I have said that black men being able to wear a lot of protective styles while simultaneously doing masculine things (sports, gang activities, rapping etc) has automatically tricked society into associating these styles as masculine. It makes no sense that a male rapper can comfortably walk around with little girl beads in his hair, but actual black women are judged and ridiculed.
You can't compare an entertainer with a normal person. They also wear outrageous clothes and say outrageous things. Normal people can't do that either.
THIS
Im sorry gang activities has me CACKLING
Our hair is the ONLY,hair that "grow up,from the scalp" just like a flower,towards the sun,our hair"lives"❤
There’s a certain level of confidence that black women with natural hair exude..! I’m thankful to have a Mum who kept natural hair and never relaxed or straightened my hair.
I must admit she's right, it will never change as long as moms like her put weaves and extensions in their little girls hair from very young! I have had a problem with this new normal surroundings black little girls and weaves for many years, it's really heartbreaking to see a 3 year old wearing extensions down to her waist ...and there's no shame anymore! Many moms are teaching self hate to their daughters through these practices, they might not realize it, but based on what she said she knows she has self hate issues, so some might even be aware of what they are doing...it's really sad, but hopefully you reach many of these women through your videos, thanks for what you are doing! 😊
So sad she must have been put down by black men . 😢 Black hair grows and it's beautiful!
The crazy thing is,, more men talk to me with a wig on then my locs. I tested this and with my locs, mid back length and I love my 4c hair… but not many even look my way. Men are also programmed by social media/society to like these wigs
_Why_ does this woman's voice sound like Samantha Cooker on TH-cam?!😅 🤔
Black women's hair does grow. It just doesn't lay flat/wavy/etc like non-Black people's hair (Asians, Whites, Indigenous, Latinx, Middle Easterns, Aboriginals, etc.) She needs to stop putting down Black hair...and her own as well 💯!
I think it is her because I have heard her speak badly about black women's hair. I've commented about it a few times in her comment section. I didn't even notice until you mentioned it; she does sound just like her!
After several years of relaxers and heat damage my natural hair has been through it. I wear wigs to minimize the stress I put on my hair but I refuse to wear straight wigs. I only wear wigs that mimic my natural curl pattern and I get so many compliments and often people think it is my natural hair. My daughter hair much thicker, kinky hair and she has LOVED her hair since the day she was born. Loves her afro puffs, bantu knots, twists, you name it, she adores her hair and I am so thankful and will pour into that every chance I get.
How can your hair that grows directly from your scalp not be for you? TMHYah literally made it just for you. I am the second of 3 girls (same mom, same dad) and each of us has different textures. I say we should drop the European beauty standards and embrace ourselves and love who we are, period.
. I Have a problem with people that wear fake hair making suggestions about how I should wear mine. I consider natural hair as that which is grown from one's own scalp and worn in whatever way that makes me feel attractive.And all women should feel that way without others opinions.
Her video really triggered me
Same 😢 My mother has very similar limiting beliefs.
😢 to see a real person carrying around & vocalizing such awful self hate. She’s been abused badly.
Hurt ppl hurt other ppl.
It’s probably that thing on her head.
That woman needs help.
Her community has made her believe that.
Nah, somebody evil 😈 made her hate herself.
@@sandycheeks1580and the person is most probably part of the community…
A lot of black people of her generation and older have those views. So yes, she definitely got those views from the community. The black community needs to take accountability for how women like her feel about themselves, instead of shaming them for expressing views that they've been taught. If the community doesn't change, it will continue to produce people who think like that woman.
I challenge all black celebrities, social media personalities to wear their real hair out. The lady is wrong right? Then let’s prove it
You have your own senses to do what is right for you. Black celebrities are normally not leaders.
@@donnagray5670 everybody has their own senses. That doesn’t explain this cultural convention of hiding our natural hair under weave and relaxers.
I agree with this ! All these comments calling her crazy but until we stop with these protective styles and start wesring our own hair. I will continue to think that most black women hate their hair!
@@donnagray5670right why do people put celebrities on a pedestal there are no more humans like us.
@@AshaHassellwell bw do hate their hair but it didn’t come out of no where. It is time they stop trying to justify why and unlearn that hatred. Too many are selfish to even hear it or attempt to
Our hair grows at the same rate as other races. Our issue is that we have the most delicate hair of any race, which makes our hair very prone to breakage. Black women don't have a growth problem, we a retention problem.
Ladies don’t buy into what people say it getting played out live your natural 4 hair and keep it moving
Self hatred is so sad. I absolutely love my natural. I’m so glad that I had good examples of natural beauty growing. My childhood bestie was from Cape Verde. She was a beautiful dark skin girl with curly hair. I had a relaxer, because of her I grew out my natural hair and never looked back. This was long before TH-cam was a thing back in the year 2000. Most black girls had relaxers back then. I have never had a hard time growing my hair.
That lady is 100% correct on a lot of the statements she made. I disagree with her saying black women don't look feminine with short natural hair because obviously that's not true, but a lot of people THINK certain black women don't and will attempt to tear you down for it. This issue often has a primary target.
No short hair texture is disrespected by black people as much as 4C hair is, and that's just a cold fact. I never see someone roasting women with short 3C or 4A hair. The women who get targeted the most are usually dark or brown skinned.
The same black people who get upset by her statements are some of the ones who will be quick to make nasty colorist comments without hesitation. THEY are part of the reason self hatred continues to fester and destroy self esteem... but they won't acknowledge that.
I am saddened to hear this. Saying natural hair isn't for everyone is like saying God made a mistake.
He did not! I feel you have to change your mind set about how you feel about yourself.
My hair grows, and so do other bw hair. That wig on her head don’t look good either, so I’m not sure what she is talking about. She is projecting her low self esteem. Also, I know plenty of bm that love bw how we are.
How can natural hair not be for everyone??? If you were born with it, then it is for you. That statement makes absolutely no sense.
Whenever I wear wigs I get a lot of attention from “Hood Rich” men.
When I wear my natural hair I get attention from high-value men “ Doctors, Lawyers, Athletes.”
It seems men of value much rather prefer natural hair. That is my perspective.
Perspective is an interesting concept. Just about everyone's experience will be a little different based on features, skin color, hair texture and other phenotypical attributes. On other channels, I've seen content creators project guilt or try to push expectations onto viewers that may not be realistic based on how they look
Also it's on brand for those content creators to analyze alternative beauty standards and practice what they preach. But much of they're viewers don't make the same profit or benefit from rejecting western norms.
Yes as a black woman with natural the compliments i get compared to non textured extensions look is outstanding i dont even bother wesring extensions that isnt afro texture...my man is yt and cant stand a silk press LOL rather me in my natural state plus gives our little girl self worth to know your kinks and curls ARE JUST FINE AS THEY ARE! you were born this way...its hair not a disease that needs controlling or life is over
Many of us need a reminder that we are of the Divine, TMH Daughters...and The Most High does not make mistakes. We are Perfectly Perfect just the way we are. We are different for a divine reason. Man made media wants us to believe otherwise. 💖🙏🏾
I just cut off all my to take the perm out. My 1st day at work with basically no hair was scary for me. But I had to admit to myself that I needed to learn how to care for my natural hair and love it. ❤️
I’m never worried about MY natural not being for everybody when God blessed me with hair for me to enjoy!! In other words F them people
Let’s pray for her as other black women,that God helps her to realize the beauty He has given her and every other black woman out there. She is hurt and so are many other black women, God loves you and after creating you He said this is good He died for you and numbered every hair on your head.Jesus loves you. Don’t forget that you can talk to God about your hurts and insecurities ,even your hair and body He cares about it all.He is the only one that gives peace and heals.Love you ❤❤❤
🤝🙏🏼
amen. She is lost in the sauce
Beautiful Comment. Many of us need a reminder that we are of the Divine, his Daughters...and The Most High does not make mistakes. We are Perfectly Perfect. Man made media wants us to believe otherwise.
Amen! 🙏🏾🌱🫶🏾
A person has the right to dislike something about themselves (like those "groups" of girls with wht skin who get nose jobs and perms for their 16th or 18th bdays or the wht women who are obsessed with tanning or botox at age 25 and nobody bats an eye), and some people can do it WITHOUT having low self esteem. Maybe she DOES have low self esteem, but let's not AUTOMATICALLY equate thinking you're unattractive with having low self esteem. I know women who think they are unattractive who have high self esteem, exude confidence, have/wear their natural hair, and have very attractive, provider, protector husbands that they attracted while feeling UNattractive. Its THEIR opinion, the same as when they think someone else is unattractive. It does not always equal low self esteem and we really should move away from using so many absolutes and just allow bw to be different, to have autonomy and individuality, their own opinions.
Her opinion of some bw may not fit everyone, (which she DID make a "not all" comment about) but it fits some. No other race ON AVERAGE has to nearly become hair experts to figure out how to get and keep long hair (they just exist and it just grows), just like most blk ppl don't need to tan, like some people have to MOVE MOUNTAINS just to have clear skin for a week and others have the worst diets and habits but look 20 at age 30. Some people's nails grow, and other women with long hair have stubby nails that don't grow or they grow and quickly break.
We're different, and its ok, we just find what work for us. Its not ok to keep invalidating some bw's feelings and experiences, and this is something that I have to remind myself as well.
Its almost like bw are the ONLY women who are expected to CONSTANTLY be the target and butt of every joke and bashing (esp dark skinned bw) yet maintain God-like self esteem and never have the freedom to be honest about their own dislikes.
Be real and excel from there. ❤️
Great video! My hair personally grows slower than average, but healthy hair care has helped me retain the length. I really wish I could help that lady. You're right, she is hurting.
she's ignorant and uneducated hair growth is all about water food and genetics and another question how long is her hair and who is she married too
she's ignorant and uneducated hair growth starts with in tha inside of your body water food and genetics it has nothing to do with oil
Black women wore their natural hair for thousands of years…
It's not "we", it's you, sis. My natural hair beautiful, even if i do say so myself.
A lot of ppl in this comment section are not far in this journey picking at this lady’s appearance and black hair in general
This is so insulting to Black women. She basically said we are ugly and that's why we can't rock a twa. Most BW IMO look stunning with a short fro. This woman is projecting.
I agree with her , don’t fight me, we are all allowed to have our opinions .
I love natural hair I always would get compliments wearing big beautiful curls . This lady needs to learn to love herself tbh . Also lupita has short natural hair and the media loves her never called her masculine looking she’s always called beautiful and eloquent
Yess, same with Issa Rae and Janelle Monae, they always wear beautiful natural styles ❤
Big curls are more accepted than tight naps.
She told absolutely truth!! I feel the same way and a lot of other black women too!! ❤
She told the whole truth and nothing but.
Healthy natural hair always wins. Always looks better than the most slayed wig. Unpopular opinion. 😊
She's an older generation we can't help them Lucky the younger generation is embracing their natural hair
Some people like to wallow in self hate and pity. Avoid those people.
Damn, she really hate herself.
A white co-worker said to me"I like your hair the other way(straight)it was washed that morning,so it was in its "shrink" state. I smiled n said "yeah." THE next day,It was a BIG ,blow-out afro,like a Nefertiti Headpiece!!her face was like 😮😮mine😂😂😂
Like she said, on the internet, natural hair is pushed and encouraged but in real life, but in real life, it's completely different thing. It take a lot of work and time that I don't have and you get different reactions when you wear straight hair vs natural hair. Me personally, I don't care either way but she's not wrong in her point of view. It all depends on who's wearing it.
I agree
This sounds like she needs to talk about this to a therapist not the internet.
Damn shame …. I like that she’s honest and I really feel sorry for her. Black people, we are the originators of mankind and the start of civilization but we reduce ourselves to this because of the mental slavery and trauma. It’s sad
After being natural for a long time, I have embraced it. The young woman who spoke earlier saddens me which likely comes from enduring years of verbal abuse. Taking care of my own hair has taught me a lot, and now my hair is healthier than ever. I regret not going natural sooner.
She has experienced a lot a pain in hair issues.
As far as wigs , these wig wearer look be looking a drag queen. Been natural for 10 p!us years. Stopped focusing on long hair but healthy hair.
God, created every race to look as they do to have the types of hair they have and out of all races, he created black people to have the only kinky texture hair and this truly stands out, it stands alone what more, no races can copy our natural hair regardless to how they may see it and I know God did this for a purpose. To say u don’t like ur natural kinky texture is the same as saying u don’t accept God’s gift.
There was ALOT of truth in what that woman with the wig on said about black people. Whether yall want to admit it or not.
Why do you need to LEARN how to love your true self or natural hair if you didn’t have those same beliefs as her 🧐
Right she spoke some truth idk why they mad
I think the comment stating that women who have the typical Afro- Coily hair, that very few have proper long hair swooping down their back is true, it is a minority of women who have this long or super long hair length. 20 years ago back in the day a lot of Afro-Caribbean and African women especially West African women, majority whose hair was relaxed did not have long hair cascading past their shoulders, shoulder length relaxed hair was seen as long back then. Plus very few women would wear their natural beautiful Afro-coily hair like Lauryn Hill,YaYa Decosta or Amera Le Negra. I think with the natural hair movement and the impression it has made on the Afro-Caribbean, Afro-Hispanic/Latina, Afro-American and African community etc, a lot of women have been inspired to wear there natural hair, especially now there is an emerging remnant of echelon women who have long or super long Afro-coily hair, which is inspiring many women to grow their natural hair long. As well as just wear their natural hair in a healthy state, regardless of hair length. Now women are finding better suited techniques, and natural and organic hair products to stimulate amazing hair growth, so that the hair grows long, and most importantly have a beautiful head of healthy hair that is all natural.
Thank the Heavenly Father through the True Messiah for this testimony.
Women stay humble and keep striving for the best.😁
Not all black women come from the background of having to learn to love their hair. Some of us have been natural our whole lives and embrace the curls and coils.
the only reason you have to LEARN to love your hair is because someone taught you it was bad, which is false so unlearning it is just correcting the way you think.
Not everything has to be as negative as people make it out to be, we were taught wrong in the first place so it’s just corrective learning.
Because we have been taught through racism colorism and sexism that our hair is less then and we have to unlearn the conditioning.
@@AbianahAlmeida maybe my experience is a bit different because no one has really ever talked bad about my hair - I grew up in a black community however social institutions I went to were predominantly white. Still never got any flack for my hair.
I would see it mainly online the bullying of women with 4b/4c hair and it mainly came from the black American community.
I’m of Jamaican descent and live in the UK so maybe that’s why my opinion is a bit different, you had to go outside with the hair that grew out your scalp and make it look presentable, that’s all.
I think the comment stating that women who have the typical Afro- Coily hair, that very few have proper long hair swooping down their back is true to some extent, it is a minority of women who have this long or super long hair length. Many of these women with amazing long Afro-coily hair are on TH-cam.20 years ago back in the day a lot of Afro-Caribbean and African women especially West African women, majority whose hair was relaxed did not have long hair cascading past their shoulders, shoulder length relaxed hair was seen as long back then. There are some women who had a medium short bob relaxed hair, considered their hair to be long, particularly those who were growing out their hair from a pixie/cropped short style.Plus very few women would wear their natural beautiful Afro-coily hair like Lauryn Hill, YaYa Decosta or Amera Le Negra. I think with the natural hair movement and the impression it has made on the Afro-Caribbean, Afro-Hispanic/Latina, Afro-American and African community etc, a lot of women have been inspired to wear their natural hair, especially now there is an emerging remnant of echelon women who have long or super long Afro-coily hair, which is inspiring many women to grow their natural hair long. Especially now women are finding better suited techniques, and natural and organic hair products to stimulate amazing hair growth, so that the hair grows long.
Thank the Heavenly Father through the True Messiah for this testimony.
Women stay humble and keep striving for the best.
Btw Amara la Negra wears a wig it’s not her actual natural hair
@@appelezmoielle She has Afro Hispanic mixed girl Afro- curly coily (so called type 4) hair.
She said she didn’t look feminine with natural hair. She doesn’t look feminine with straight hair either. She has a problem with how she herself looks…and that has nothing to do with hair.
You said she doesn’t look feminine with straight hair, not her. Don’t just assume stuff because she clearly said she thinks she looks more feminine with straight hair
@@thesoutherngossip4548 The worse thing about what this person is saying is that this woman does not look feminine either in straight or kinky hair. I wonder why that person thinks that the woman does not look feminine at all.
I would loveee to unpack why we feel this way but I know black ppl as a collective will never resolve it. Will just keep walking around in circles
I don’t agree with this woman. It’s clear she’s projecting. Wishing her self love and healing 💙🖤
She's so wrong! Shes beautiful and would rock any natural hair style especially short! Shes hurting deep inside i can hear it! Even though im mulatto i have suffered a lot of racial verbal abuse just for being biracial growing up! She needs a hug! 😢😞
She looks at 35-45 years old. I’m 20 I couldn’t care less about people think about my hair. She needs to get over it and live.
You are so right, she would look great with a short natural style, her features would be better suited to a style close to her head. The wig/weaves drown her features.
I feel very very sorry for her and this is why I make it a point to wear my own natural hair most of the year. I do braids for 6 weeks max when I’m in grind time and I have kinky 4a-4c clip ins extensions for last minute plans if I’m in twists/fro. We have got to own our beauty and make things work for us. I got the clip ins idea from a white friend who wears her own hair 99% of the time but if we’re stepping to the club or a nice date night, it’s great to have the option for versatility!
There's alot of pain in her eyes, i hope God heals her of any trauma she sustatined in this world.
It’s so much more than just hair! Your content is so healing!❤
I am natural, and i get attention left and right because of my beautiful 4c hair. Love what God blessed you with!
She thinks natural hair makes her look masculine. There are some Black women that look masculine with or without straight hair. Imo, the straight hair wig just makes her appear hard and older. She would look better with locs, updo braids midlength twists/coils.
I did feel a bit sad when she said she only feels feminine wearing straight hair. That's very troubling statement but it's very real. I think it has a lot to do with how we see ourselves, the lives we often live and the fact that we are so very different than any other race. Also negative marketing has a lot to do with our self esteem as Black women. Black women are not ever shown living glamorous lives or soft feminine lives or being desired with natural coily textured hair. Also, it is no lie that coily hair is high maintenance because it really is especially when it's between 3 to 6 inches and often chronically dry with 2 days no matter how much H20 you drink. Although some of us hold natural textured hair in high regard, we need to be honest that caring for our hair can be a lot to handle especially when it's midlength. Also, it requires more attention than other types of hair especially if it's not in braids which is often the main reason of why so many of us find our own hair dissatisfying.
Your channel and Afrikan hair God's is the best
Everyday I'm grateful for my parents who instilled self love for my hair. I embraced my texture early on, with my dad being my hair crush with his long natural hair. I can only imagine how one must feel to hate your hair so much you put others hair texture on yours. Don't include me in that "we". I wanna look majestic like Mufasa.✨
The bad wig is not feminine at all. The flatness of it clashes with her round features. Natural hair definitely suits her better than that flat cheap plastic wig.
And if she doesn't want to "look like mufasa" there are millions of different hairstyles. She haven't even tried.
I wish this lady could see how beautiful she is. She has really nice features. So as you think so as you are. If she thought she was pretty she would bring that out with natural hair or not.
I think she is beautiful. I feel genuinely sad that she doesn’t seem to think so. The more she spoke I hurt for her.
We need to start a LoveYourSelf Movement for our bruised black girls like right now…. Y’all Wit Me? ❤❤❤
Yes but not on the internet. This is not a safe space and others are ALWAYS watching. Even this comment I wrote.
As a woman who's struggled with self esteem all my life, it breaks my heart how much of this is rooted in psychology. That poor woman wasn't talking so much about hair as she was honestly and openly confessing hurt. Yes, I choked up because I know her pain well. And I know that my own hurt is rooted in rejection and bullying, abuse and very old trauma.
Two things saved me from that brutal hell. First, when I was finally empowered to conquer my worst features. For me, being motivated to DO something about my issues helped so much. But I had to set healthy limits of what I was willing to do. I refused to hurt myself in the pursuit of appearance. NO surgery or procedures that could cause damage. The goal was to be MY personal best. Part of that is to be healthy.
And second, consciously removing myself from female competition. This competition instinct takes many forms and for me, it was just knowing that I was 'less' than every other woman in the room. Feeling small, despite my best efforts. I didn't feel envious, just never enough. "Comparison is the thief of joy." This is so very true. When I found myself with a woman who was SO much more beautiful than I ever could be that I couldn't help noticing, I chose to shift that shameful small feeling into joy for her. I'd offer a sincere compliment and chose to feel genuine appreciation for her natural gifts.
I believe that we're human souls piloting around an animalistic body. Too often that animal gets hold of the reigns and our higher self has to wrestle control away. The animal is constantly fighting to feel safe, satiated, and gratified. I wants and needs. It's really a toddler at heart. Our higher soul is the adult and is capable of great wisdom. One of the most empowering realizations we can have is to recognize that we can control how we choose how to perceive and feel. When we practice that skill (and it does take practice), we can be MUCH happier and more centered.
I straightened my hair after 9 years natural. It was nice and it was a shame how everyone reacted towards me differently. I liked it too but i honestly just straightened my hair to see where i was at in regards to split ends and etc. I felt like an importer honestly. I washed my hair today and i prayed because i was so happy to see my coils again. We have to love ourselves first.
Saying she doesn’t look feminine is bull. Just admit that you don’t know how to style your hair because that’s exactly what that wig is saying. The natural hair movement failed because it was just as expensive as everything else AND because it was labor intensive. If it’s our natural hair, why did we need so many products? Why did it take so many steps? Why did it take a whole damn day?! We were promised wash and go, but what we got were people blaming us for our curl pattern. Blaming us for not using the right stuff. Blaming us for not following the right steps.
Oh, and white women have issues too. Their hair doesn’t hold a curl or have body. They damage their hair too. The difference is that they aren’t going around saying other white women are less than because they need a perm for curls. They aren’t constantly telling each other that if they’d just do this, that will happen. No, it’s always us.