Why Our Loved Ones Hurt Us
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ต.ค. 2024
- A surprising amount of suffering is inflicted upon us by those who ostensibly love us. An explanation can be found by understanding the psychology of cruelty.
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“Part of why it is so hard to understand ourselves is that people are constantly doing things to us that defy the common-sense of view of how human beings might plausibly behave around people they claim to care about. We expect that those who might carry the title of mum or dad or husband or wife would, unless they had very clear reasons to do otherwise, show us kindness. And yet the brutal reality (which we must take on board for our own sanity) is that humans are frequently beset by feelings that are so intolerable and difficult, they develop urges to pass them on to others in a version of emotional pass the parcel…”
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A wise woman once told me,'' You will bleed on your loved ones if you don't heal yourself' this really helped me in that phase of my life. Long story short, I got cheated on for over a year without even having a hunch. I felt that I was stupid for trusting a cheater or undesirable to women as a whole. My frustration turned into bitterness and all my relationships suffered. Skepticism and lack of trust were slowly poisoning my whole life.
but with time, research and a lot of support from friends I finally came out of my hellscape. now I know that someone needs to be able to hold proper friendships first to have a proper relationship. Also, I don't rush into relationships blindly like I used to. Remember to always have a net of people who care about you and whom you care about so that you don't find yourself in my shoes.
I too have noticed abusive traits in myself, although I don't know how to turn them off... I probably need therapy, I have deep trauma.
You are awesome!
I just got out of a relationship with my ex who in her last relationship she was also cheated on for over a year and didn’t know. It had been about a year since this happened to her, so I didn’t know how the effects of the traumatizing event, if any, were still with her. She never expressed those things either so I didn’t know. The only thing she did share was that she didn’t want to go on a ‘break’ anymore because that was what her ex did when he ended things with her.
In hindsight, I think a large reason why we didn’t work out is because she didn’t and couldn’t trust me. She didn’t trust that I truly loved her and that I would never want to do anything to hurt her. And so over time, nothing I did to express my love seemed to be appreciated by her. And small things I would do, like the brash way I talk sometimes, would be taken as disrespectful to her and it seemed like she took it personally that I was trying to hurt her. Maybe the root of that was that she didn’t trust my intentions were never in ill fate so she took each time as a sign I didn’t love her?
It makes me sad thinking about it, because all I wanted to do was love love love her. She was so precious to me. I wanted to express my love in all the ways I knew how, but it hurt me when they didn’t feel noticed or appreciated. And then eventually the things I did would bother her, and each time she would use them as an instance to attack and blame me for crossing her boundaries. At the end I felt like I was walking on eggshells all the time, which in turn made me say and do even dumber things. I am aware I have my own issues like seeking validation and putting my worth in my partner’s hands, but I would never blame and abuse my partner the way she did me. I couldn’t understand why she would do that to me, and be completely unaware or accountable for the ways she hurt me, if she loved me.
I guess this video helps explain it. We hurt the ones we love to try to reduce our own suffering and we often aren’t even aware
Thanks for the good advice
Regardless of why they're hurting you, if they keep doing it, you need to distance yourself. They need to process their own demons before they can have a healthy relationship with you. -Nick
Whew! A word.
💯
Except most of them don't process their own demons because they don't think they are the problem.
@@SwaggyGabby so true. Some people go through their entire lives developing little to no self-awareness and the cycle of abuse just keeps going. So sad 😞
But what if they are not wrong, just wish well for me and it's my demons due to which I am getting hurt 😞
Please help
"Cruelty is at heart an attempt to make ourselves feel better by doing to someone else a version of what was done to us." Instead of expressing anger at those who have hurt us, we end up redirecting our anger at someone who didn't cause it in the first place. Doing so feels safer than addressing the real underlying problems. And usually, the one who bears the brunt of our rage is seen as weak, insignificant, and unable or unwilling to fight back.
💯
Very well put.
Scapegoated and shift blame ... pretty much that was i experienced till this day....
@@winnieamar9368 This channel is amazingly bad and spamms objectively wrong messages, accidentally-QUOTES In-els and Antisocials and even Neckbeards.
School of Life is amazingly biased.
He idolized random People, Things, Groups, Events and he demonizes random People, Things, Groups and Events. Logic or Reality have barely if anything to do with any of this.
It's like what a wise philosopher once said:
"What is love? Oh baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more."
This channel is amazingly bad and spamms objectively wrong messages, accidentally-QUOTES In-els and Antisocials and even Neckbeards.
School of Life is amazingly biased.
He idolized random People, Things, Groups, Events and he demonizes random People, Things, Groups and Events. Logic or Reality have barely if anything to do with any of this.
Very timely video for me. Learning a lot about the inner workings of my family and how that has impacted my mental health.
May you find peace and kindness 💜
I hope that you continue to stay strong.💪😘
Same. It’s depressing but understanding brings some relief.
@@frankendoll1455 🙏🏽💛
Yeah me too. Having therapy from school of life best thing I've ever done for myself
I swear this is the best therapy. Giving us insight into why people are the way they are. Thank you.
rough truth
Every one of us is projecting what's happening/happened inside us, subconsciously. It takes so much energy and effort to be self-aware in order to end the cycle of hurting those around us for what was done to us. It even also takes so much effort to truly be aware or notice that we are projecting our pains.
We need to practice mindfulness everyday to be self-aware.
We can't heal if we keep on repeating the hurt we experienced to the people around us, especially to those whom we claim we love the most.
I agree. Although most people just suppress it with drugs and alcohol. Then the cycle continues.
This isn't talked about enough. Thank you for your insight.
This is why I’ll never have kids, knowing how much generational trauma had been passed on to me by my parents. Some I haven’t even begin to understand yet. Would never want to subject my own to the same “invisible” traumas.
I think the husband and wife scenario is the hardest to overcome. You go into the relationship with rose colored glasses, thinking that this person will always want what is best for you. Then, time passes, and you've realized that you just fell into another trap of narrasstic behaviors, because that pattern is so utterly familiar to you from childhood, that you were like the spider to the fly. 💔
Yes facts. It’s heartbreaking, devastating, and confusing. It doesn’t make sense to you someone you love would try to hurt you.
Yes! We are told that we live in a civilized world with civilized laws and norms to make this life better; when in fact your own worst enemy is the person you trust the most.
It do traumatize people who stuck with Narcissist, i truly notice that is my pattern..
I am not quite sure about this:"I think the husband and wife scenario is the hardest to overcome."
A parent and child scenario, might be just as difficult or even more so.
Especially when a child is in a certain environment, surrounded by like minded thinking and behaving people, without any critical thinkers.
Or without people that [are willing to] question others or their behavioural patterns, while remaining objective and neutral. Or at least, try to.
Quite often observed also, by Theodorius Ghandeli.
@@stribakkiri Maybe in the short term when the child is stuck with the family. But, if they are able to recongize the despairitites in his/her thinking to that of his own, he/she would be able to detach him/her self from the toxic relationship of his family psychologically early on, and then physically when he/she turns of age.
With a romantic relationship, if you go into it believing the lies that were told to you and financially partner with this other person, are vulnerable with this other person and maybe even for a sense of attachment to this person, it is hard to break free unscathed.
Both scenarios are not ideal. Both cause irreconcilable harm.
Had to distance myself from my extended family after losing my dad. I fear they will never understand the pain my family went through. I am so disappointed that I have to be the mature one with adults decades older than me. I made the hard choice to save myself even if it came at the cost of being a black sheep and emotional abuse. Wish I would've seen this video at 15, now that I'm 31.
truth
Good for you for loving yourself enough to give yourself self compassion. May your wounds heal in time. 💛
Better late than never.
Glad to hear you made it out alive
I can totally relate to your experience. I did the same thing and moved hundreds of miles away to heal. On the healing side of things I am doing real well. However it still breaks my heart to see really close knit families that care for and support each other, knowing my family was a pack of ravenous wolves, scratching and clawing at everyone around them just to stay alive. I have told my new friends what I grew up with just to let them know that I am not like them, that trust is not an everyday expression in my way of doing life, but I am working real hard to overcome it. For the most part they are starting to understand because I am a person of my word, am fair and honest, yet the whole concept of family being the way mine was is so foreign to their thought process. I dont allow myself the 'luxury' of close friends because there is something that is completely broken in my ability to trust anymore. I have come to accept that that is my lot in life and I am learning to accept that superficial friendships are all I am capable of having because I am too vulnerable and trusting.
Sometimes you have to cut ties with some people - “If you want to fly give up everything that weighs you down.” - Buddha
...and everyone...
"You cannot soar with eagles when you are surrounded by turkeys."
I was destroyed like that but not by my parents but by a partner who I loved so much you can't imagine. I'm still gathering the pieces. It affected me so deeply.
Keep Gathering, and push through it. Many beautiful things awaits for you.
Same Situation right now as well. After the many promises she made not that long ago to work on herself and the relationship, all the sudden she left me hanging out of the blue.
"Such injections wouldn't work if they were noticed, so enormous energy goes into the cover up. It is debatable how much the injector even understands what they are up to; they are more driven to act than cleanly be aware of how or why they are doing so."
You are doing a great job. Thanks so much.
This is why I'm terrified of relationships. I always think that people have a secret agenda to hurt me.
@Eli Lis From experience the worst thing is being gaslighted and cheated on. Its not really a decision I've made to stay away with relationships but the anxiety I feel when I'm with someone is pretty hard to overcome.
@@keerthanavisweswaran5162 What empty manipulative shaming comment. What happens if and when things don't get better, just because you said they would. Clueless and hurtful
@Eli Lis That's right. The worst thing that could happen is to have yet another experience that reinforces the belief, taking the person downwards even further. It would be insanity to keep doing the same behaviours, and keep getting the same results. Breaking that cycle with a new behaviour can be a good starting point.
Seek help from an expert in attachment styles.
This reminds me of my recent ex. It wasn't until I fully moved out and she had nothing over me that I realized how much she unintentionally tried to scare me because she was stuck in fear. I wish her peace.
Going through something similar
Realising that she was scared of commitment
I wish that she can overcome that someday
@@homerlol9058 with my ex I don't necessarily think it was fear of commitment as much as the reality that her upbringing reflected: "closeness = harshness" because that's how her family raised her. A few months in, when she got comfortable enough to be what her upbringing taught her, the sweetness transformed into low-key criticism and no ability to encourage my successes. The relationship ended when I was saying things like, "when you interrupt me and don't let me finish speaking things that are important to me it makes me feel not respected." And she would be countering with, "you are abusive and deserve to be told your a bad person." I realized that she simply could not see how engrained her toxic behaviors were. Again, I sincerely wish her the best. That pain must be hard.
@@AJ-das wow ... glad you saw her for what she was.
@@AJ-das it takes real strength to accept the situation like You did
@@homerlol9058 to be fair, it was a 14 month relationship, I knew and told my close friend 3 months in, "I see red flags that no measure of communication or reason could pacify. I know this relationship will not work, but I also am not ready to leave. Because of this I know things will get more intense and I will get increasingly miserable until I can't take it." I spent nearly a year knowing better. If anybody is reading this, and their intuition is telling them to get out of a toxic relationship, do it! It's been only a week and tge space made from that relationship has been more than filled with intimacy and mutual appreciation towards multiple female energies. I deserve it and so do you!
My sister and I both experienced multiple traumas growing up. She expressed it by causing me pain and I just bottled everything up. I grew up resenting her for causing me so much damage. Over the last few years, I've had a different perspective on it all- I just feel compassion and sadness. Part of healing from my trauma is realizing that the people I resented growing up were probably dealing with a laundry list of their own unresolved trauma.
@Amelia Liam Turds! 💩💩💩💩
„A big part of self-knowledge means realising that those we love and have trusted may have put sole hugely damaging ideas inside us that need to be identified and corrected to help us to attain the freedom and light-heartedness we crave and deserve.“
Damn.
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To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
Thank you, I needed to hear this tonight and it brought me comfort. ❤️
Self-awareness is really important.
Good one. I have no control over the thoughts, words and actions of others. I am responsible for my own. Serenity prayer. 🙏🏽
Why isn't humanity kinder than it is? This 3 minute explanation has to be the best answer ever.
So true. I'm glad that it was explicitly stated they are likely unaware of their behavior. Part of me wants to believe this is because it's all they've ever known, and breaking that cycle of pain is incredibly difficult. I tried to do my best, and I want to believe that deep down that is what the majority do. This deeply held belief also makes it hard for me to walk away, but I know I cannot force someone to gain self awareness... That happens on their own timeline.
Anyone who is or has dealt with a difficult nuclear family, my heart goes out to you. It's not an easy life.
I lived with abusive parents, an abusive boyfriend, and have been bullied for having an ugly nose. I have been through so much pain but instead of passing that pain on to others, I was and am the opposite. I became weak, introverted, and avoided people. I lost faith in humanity. I would never want people to experience what I have. All I want is to feel loved. I have gotten told that I broke the cycle of pain but it's not like I tried with self awareness. I guess not many people think like me. I treat people the way I want to be treated no matter what I've been through.
@@SwaggyGabby I'm the same. I don't want to cause pain, and I struggle to retaliate when others try to bring me down. Stay strong and don't change that about yourself.
Thank you for such a simple clarification of abuse experienced by so many people. So easy to understand. It's like a light bulb moment!
Took me a long time to get this. Another case of life needing to be lived backwards. Not only did this come from my family, but I also generalized this dynamic and chose friends who were also, in their own pain, cruel, and, in the final analysis, not really friends. I avoid toxic people now. The shit heaped on me by my family, despite degrees in Psych, is a gift that has kept on giving.
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
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@@aliciamuggleton4713 I'm beyond help. I could go into the reasons, but I choose what and what not to self-disclose. All that matters is, I know who I am, I know where I come from, I'm married to a woman who both loves and likes me, and I her. I set out on adventures, inward and outward, that no one, among my old peer group, had the nerve or capability to try. I faced my demons. They, for the most part, did not, and led empty, unfulfilling lives. So, all that to say: naaaa…I'm good. Wish I was back in Canada about now, but, no.
I greatly appreciate what you guys at the school of life do I’m autistic and don’t always understand the way other people work and behave especially my neurotypical husband So you give me a great insight onto how his brain thinks and works thank you for everything you do please don’t ever stop
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
I watched the video and followed the steps no result, until i came across a great spiritualist Dr Akunda. I can recommend you to this man who can help you out with your wishes any kind of wish you desire. I got results within 2days after contact with him.
Message him via... 👇wazapp or 👆👆...
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I'm so glad I watched this. Made me appreciate my family more. I don't think I have any hang ups about wanting to be successful. They both are and seem to want that for me too
You're truly blessed.
"Emotional pass-the-parcel." Great name for it. I was just ghosted by a guy who said he's been ghosted by many women, and he would never do that to anyone. Ahh, but he did. After 20 months of talking every day, he disappeared. Now the trick is for me to not pass the poison parcel to someone else. God help us all... we humans need our DNA rearranged!!
People who bully and abuse others are not damaged. They are bad, vindictive, disgusting predators who have nothing better to do. They deserve to be powerless, small and alone.
In my life I've had to cut my mum out of my life due to her narcissism. Despite her saying how much she says she loves me she has made me feel so small, bad for standing up for myself and loves to say hurtful things of late about my deceased father. He died when i was 13. In the end after multiple toys it doesn't feel as difficult now because the alterative was literally robbing me of my self wolf, my patience and sometimes it almost felt like my sanity.
I think my parents subtly instilled the idea that the outside world will reject me, hurt me, and I’ll be incapable of coping with it. This is probably how they feel about themselves and also I think I was a very sweet and empathetic child who was willing to be the peacemaker so they never wanted to lose me. They also instilled the idea that I am/will be a perpetual child, telling me I talked like a child, acted like a child, would never be beautiful only sweet and cute, encouraged me to dress and act childish, whilst simultaneously chiding me for talking “in a baby voice”. It still hurts me so much thinking about how my dad gave me a “compliment” saying he never thought I would have achieved the things I have at my current age, when I was a child. I honestly haven’t achieved anything amazing just the basics and I wasn’t a difficult child either, I was always good at school, well behaved, a little shy but had friends. I think it showed me that he always had that inherent belief (or wish?) that I wouldn’t be able to function on my own. Same with my mum’s belief that I was autistic, even though none of my teachers or psychologists have ever believed so, and I am kind of the opposite of the typical behaviours other than introversion and niche interests (but my mum who collects toys as an adult is completely normal?!?) Also!!! I wasn’t explicitly told by my dad to my face that I couldn’t date, but I see through his body language how uncomfortable he is with me going on dates, IM 24!!!!!!! He was the one who tried to imply that I will always be “cute” never attractive, which I think was a subtle way of making me believe that I will never have a relationship and would always stay home and dependent on them. Going back to my first point, when I tried to kill myself it was because I was afraid I will never fit in, find love, have a satisfying career, all because I was born “wrong”, and my parents always blame it on my friends influence, or me just being “naturally” anxious. The only fix was for me to move back home, “where I’m always loved”. Now I’m seeing this is all part of their own fears, my dad lost his mum to cancer when he was young and my mum is far away from her family, and they can’t stand each other, so they need me to always be there for them, in the way I was as a child, sweet, innocent, and admiring of them. Of course they say they want me to succeed in life, and I truly think they want that for me, but deep down they’re past trauma lingers, secretly hoping for me and my siblings to fail in life so we never leave them.
I can relate to a lot of things you’ve gone through. More so of the father aspect creating limiting beliefs because those were placed on him from his family who actually never took proper care of him as a child. There is most likely an underlying jealousy from your father who can’t really grasp that a child with a form of support can thrive if they are nurtured (you making friends and doing well in school) so it upsets him a bit in how to act. I am the same age as you and have seen the intergenerational patterns in the family. I hope you seek somatic expirencing therpay for your suicidal tendcncies. That is a truama response and your body is screaming for safety. You can heal and rid the body of the pain that has caused you.
May we all master the art of discipline in meditation so to alleviate the doubt, over-thinking and anxiety we feel too often.
We tend to spend the most time around our loved ones, so we may lash out at them more. If we're especially frustrated, we might displace our anger out on them as a means of releasing our stress, despite them not being involved in the slightest.
I find this unacceptable. In fact, this sounds like excusing abuse to me.
People spend a lot of time at work - as much time sometimes as they spend with loved ones - and they don’t tend to lash out as much there. Why? Because there are serious consequences, they could even lose their job. So they learn to not be abusive (unless they are in a position of power, that’s a whole ’nother story).
Maybe if people knew they would lose their loved ones, they would treat them better. Lots of abused people are saying, “no more” and walking away these days, so people need to learn to do better or they will lose the important people in their lives.
No excuses for abuse.
I love this video but it overlooks the most common form of abuse: sibling abuse.
This is exactly the type of thing that should be taught at school... We are waking up to a revolution of mental health, the elephant in the room people have ignored for decades. To start seeing how many of us are wounded and still forced to work, have normal lives and expected same results as if we weren't. Like forcing dysabled people to compete in normal Olympics and expecting them to perform just as well.
And thank you for keeping it neutral. It's so easy to blame abusers, narcissists and so on. But what we forget is that they, as well, are the product of the abusive upbringing they were subjected to.
Interesting how everyone in the comments appears to believe this has been done to them and no one is the doer.
Exactly one of the things that this video is about 🙌 We see this kind of video and our first instinct might be to think, "That's what my parents do to me!" or "I'm about to leave my spouse over this kind of behavior."
Our next thought might be, "If only I could get my spouse [or parent, boss, etc.] to watch this video or read a book about this, I could show them what they're doing wrong."
Once I really become aware of my own part in perpetuating this cycle of cruelty, it's so damn painful. Realizing that I'm lashing out at someone who did nothing deliberately to provoke me...
Idk how many people get to that level of self-awareness. I either pass on the pain to others the way it was done to me. Or the pain stops with me once I realize I'm the cruel person now. (Oversimplifying here but still works)
They wouldn't be visiting this channel if they were the doer. This video would make them have to reconsider what they're doing.
@@cryora definitely recognise myself as a doer so idk...
Guess all of us in a way are injectors too
U got us all
One of the rawest video. It made me cry. It's like a therepy session.
Perfect timing on this. Just came back from my grandmothers funeral. She passed on her pain to my mother and my mother passed that onto me. I fear I will never have children as a result.
well you did the first step which is to identify the problem 👍 now you just don't have to repeat it 😊since you already know this, you're one step ahead of being a better father/mother
I felt this way and didn’t know why and now that I’m older, I regret it. You have the tools to change things. Learn about codependency and self love deficit disorder. Look for videos by Dr Ross Rosenberg. You’ll have valuable knowledge and can bring good, healthy people into the world.
@@MarkWTK very true. Great comment
:"I'm having a bade time and I'm gonna make it someone elses problem" is the gist of the video.
"You always hurt the ones you love." That's very true, it's sad to think that our parents or other family members might unintentionally mess us up the most, even though it's mostly coming from a place of love.
That is an excuse and an enabling statement.
I don't think thats coming from a place of love-more like from a place of neediness, insecurity, anguish, trauma even Secure loving relationships are not like that.
Disagree. It’s not coming from a place of love just because they love us. No. Abuse is never loving or borne from love. Ever.
Our parents KNEW they were ABUSING us; it’s why they kept it HIDDEN!
How?? How is hurting your loved ones coming from a place of LOVE?? That sentence makes absolutely no sense. If you're working out past hurts and trauma, then you're on the way to healing from it but also be aware and conscious of your actions and if you're passing it on to your children.. or else you're just continuing the generational abuse that was done to you. Which, to me, is NOT love at all. It's simply an excuse you tell yourself that repeating the damage to your own family is "okay and justifiable." 😒
I’m not sure if that kind of relationship can be called love, but definitely not enough love.
The fact is many people don’t have the ability to love.
My parents supposedly told / taught me to succeed, but kept showing surprise / incredulity when I did.
Truly mind blowing visuals in these videos. They are works of art in their own right.
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
Don't be carried away by all this videos stop wasting your time here , I've tried this so many times and it didn't work until I met a powerful man👱who helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through. I am really grateful to him. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too....
This channel is a marvellous self help. This topic should be taught in schools, it would greatly help kids experiencing this during their upbringing, and help them not to repeat it when they become parents.
@Amelia Liam No thanks, this channel is all the help I need, it's great.
Thank you so much.I now have a clear picture how crazy how one of my parent and 2 sisters are . Very controlling, devilish with narcissistic traits and then giving fake love and grinning when they are with outsiders around to cover up their finicky, vengeful ways.
They Say: "I'm not your enemy."
I said: "That sounds like something my enemy would say.."
"We’ve seen the evidence that shows how harmful control is to children and their development. That evidence resides not only in research, but also in our own experiences as children and adults." ~ Teresa Graham Brett
May all beings be free from suffering! Namaste 🙏
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My mom is overprotective that to the extreme I end up beaten up and verbally abused If I don't agree with her will this happens everyday. Very controlling and scrutinized your every whereabouts. I can't make a decision for myself without her interferring. It sucks but can't leave her. Just the 2 of us. I'm the only one working and taking care of everything. Now I'm suffering from the trauma from my childhood even up to now she still do what she always do. My life was greatly affected in all areas. Always follow this channel and read a lot in Psych and I really believed that I have one or more from this disorders. Mine has symptoms of SAD, ADHD & PTSD.
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
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So eloquently put. Thank you so much 💖 xx
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
I watched the video and followed the steps no result, until i came across a great spiritualist Dr Akunda. I can recommend you to this man who can help you out with your wishes any kind of wish you desire. I got results within 2days after contact with him.
Here is his WhatsApp number...
@@aliciamuggleton4713 hurt people, hurt (other) people. This can be intentional or unintentional. This video explains a great deal of human behaviour 💖 xx
This video helped me. Thank you.
*Love means very different things to different people* ... depending on various factors beyond our control (some within our control)
Thank you. I agree, that those who stand very close to oneself can also cause the most hurt, especially, as we are trying to think well of them. Maybe without introspection this kind of projectory is inevitable. Makes me a little afraid of projecting my own subconcious wishes on other people.
My older sister did this to me. She talked badly about me to everyone in our small family and now I have no one left. I still can not figure out a reason why.
They say that when emotions weigh heavy on us, we can't see reality as it is.
I was very harmed when I was growing up, thats why I dont love my mother and siblings, I need Moore theraphy
I can relate in many ways. But the first thing you need to do is build up your own healthy self love. Check out Dr. Ross Rosenberg here on TH-cam
@@PaperMario64 ill check that out
Always release videos on exactly what I’ve been going through
*..Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex
is back to me we loving and happily
together, got help from a great man who brought us back together. and if you need any kind of help he can help you..*
*What'tsapp him for help*
Good information,
As I get older letting go of those kind of people is easier.
Impressive content. Thanks for doing this
Very very insightful!! Brilliant! I love it.
I find something crutial missing in this video: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.
Do you need help on this...
Meet Dr Akunda he will help you to solve your problems. Need help
I can recommend you to a very and power spiritual man who can help you because you can't do this your self .....I have tried no result But this powerful man helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through by getting my Ex lover back too.
Here is his WhatsApp number...
+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...
I loved this video, from the grafics to the meaning
This is mind blowing. Mind blowing taken to the exponential.
Sad but yet so true 🥺
Beautiful animation!
The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
Carl Jung
Oh, man, this was so validating to hear..
shout out to the animation team, this is gorgeous
For those that are interested, there are a series of books translated from German and written by the late psychotherapist Dr. Alice Miller about all aspects of child abuse, both physical and emotional. Probably her most recognized book is "The Drama of the Gifted Child". It is an introduction of how parents and caregivers instill deep trauma in children and how the children respond to it through coping mechanisms. Very easy and interesting reading and I have read and recommend all of her books, they have helped me to understand and overcome the devastating effects of the traumatizing parenting I endured as a child. And it allows me to see the evidence of trauma in others before I become a victim of them.
Does anyone here need help ?
Hello, I know a great spiritualist who can help you make a lot of money through some simple steps. He really helped me a lot, he Manifest for me and all of a sudden miracle came into my life, I got my first car last month and am planning to get my second car this week, and he can do the same for you.
Here is his WhatsApp number...
Yeah.
That's exactly what
the universe does to
every created beings.
It lies the Love,
but It delivers just pain.
Yep, well everyone will tell us that they are Narcissist, but i guess they really don't know how to act and being kind to themself in the first place....
Especially in times of high pressure and demands....
Gosh, this one crushed me.
Thank you I needed that !
"You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall
You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall, so
If I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of all"
-Mills bros. 1942
Very timely for me at this moment.
Hey ya'll; this might be a bit too simplistic, but here goes.. If trauma can be passed down from generation to generation, so can healing~ ^_^
True.
Soulifer-
It isnt that simple. Not only does trauma infect your mind, your emotions and your heart (ability to love properly), it infects your muscles. So even though you may go to counseling and get your thought process moving the right direction, your actions will betray that effort. I can tell from your flippant response that you have not experienced the devastating trauma these people are expressing here so it is hard for you to wrap your head around the idea that the trauma permeates every expression, internal and external, physical and emotional that we are capable of generating.
Unless you take a thoroughly holistic approach to cleanse the entirety of your body of trauma it will not go away. There is a new therapy in the world of healing called 'energy therapy' that works wonders for those that are willing to embrace it. Sadly some people are so traumatized by their past that they are unable to trust the process so it doesnt work for them.
Beautiful. 💗💗💗
Love this! Thank you Soulifer! 😍
This is your first video ever that just scares me without giving any hope. Weird feeling.
Do you need help on this...
Don't be carried away by all this videos stop wasting your time here , I've tried this so many times and it didn't work until I met a powerful man👱who helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through. I am really grateful to him. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too....
Message him via... 👇wazapp or 👆👆...
But does that make it okay for a boyfriend or relative to abuse you? Physically? Verbally? Sexually? It certainly explains things ('hurt people hurt people'), but how many times should one accept hurtful words or behaviour?
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
Meet Dr Akunda he will help you to solve your problems. Need help
I can recommend you to a very and power spiritual man who can help you because you can't do this your self .....I have tried no result But this powerful man helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through by getting my Ex lover back too.
Here is his WhatsApp number...
That doesn't mean I will ever want to take him back. Anyone that can continue to remain once it's been clearly illustrated in glaring neon firework display style and just out of greed or laziness continue to not only accept it but still try to pass the buck on to me..... Well that's not gonna happen.
He will intrepet forgiveness as permission.
CAUSE YOU CANT TALK TO A PSYCHO LIKE A NORMAl HUMAN BEING
My lil brother tried to get me killed. I know how this feels. Life is dark.
May I know why?
@@leptune the video explains why
@@leptune I wish it was a lie. He's the only brother I have. I mean had. Not everything has a reason. At least a good one. Watch the video.
@@leptune shame on you for asking me a question that the video explains. As if I deserved what happened to me.
@@Theydonotcare what dude better seek help if you thought that
How about a child that injects their parent with cruelty beyond words? It's not always the parent or spouse... but adult children too. Write a book about that!😡
It is possible but always as a result of resentments. Real superior feelings about yourself and others will never lead you to this path of self distraction.
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
Meet Dr Akunda he will help you to solve your problems. Need help
I can recommend you to a very and power spiritual man who can help you because you can't do this your self .....I have tried no result But this powerful man helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through by getting my Ex lover back too.
Here is his WhatsApp number...
+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...
The question is - when they do those hurtful things, how best can we respond in the interest of improving the relationship while protecting ourselves?
Assertion of boundaries. Knowing what you will and will not accept and sticking by it. Don’t prioritize preserving the relationship over self-preservation, that‘s a fool’s errand. Rather, be willing to let go of the relationship to protect oneself. For people raised in abuse, this can be immensely challenging, but it is very important work. Because if we don’t do it, we will be preyed upon again and again. Stand up for yourself. Don’t get lost in the fog of the abusive relationship. Reach out to healthy people to bounce things off of -a friend, a therapist. Stay grounded. ALWAYS put yourself first. It’s not selfish, it’s survival.
Remember: no one who actually loves us would want us to sacrifice ourselves for the relationship.
Annette's answer is spot-on.
Omg, Idk about you but I feel like the school of life has been reading my current thoughts. I'm surprised by their accuracy of the question I had in my mind.
What does it mean to disrespect someone's sexuality
BOOM 💥 this is very timely x
Video could be called "Scapegoating" or "Generational Trauma". I am unfortunately well-acquainted with this.
There are so many unhelpful, naive, thoughtless, passive-aggressive, and shaming comments here, that I'd recommend just watching the videos of this channel, but NOT looking at the comments section.
And on the basis that the ONLY thing that improves the quality of my own life is the actions and new behaviours that I do, that's exactly the approach that a I'm going to take.
Too many of these comments are negating the freedom given by the vid itself.
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
Meet Dr Akunda he will help you to solve your problems. Need help
I can recommend you to a very and power spiritual man who can help you because you can't do this your self .....I have tried no result But this powerful man helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through by getting my Ex lover back too.
Here is his WhatsApp number...
@@aliciamuggleton4713 Wow. Case in point.
So in other words….hurt people …hurt people..
Do you think So or you really need help .💁.
I watched the video and followed the steps no result, until i came across a great spiritualist Dr Akunda. I can recommend you to this man who can help you out with your wishes any kind of wish you desire. I got results within 2days after contact with him.
Message him via... 👇wazapp or 👆👆...
+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...
I was drawn to watch this video for a reason
My ex has a really huge chip on his shoulder from his past (whatever it exactly is) and it’s caused him to have a very narcissistic personality…he absolutely destroys me and has been for four years now. I can’t do it anymore, I wish he would find therapy instead of passing on his self hatred to everyone person who encounters his life.
I hope he's truly an ex, if not you need to get out now, for your own good.
Best advice: don't reproduce or socialize at all 😅
dear Lord , please.. i don't wanna pass down crap as a mom that my mom passed to me that her mom passed to her
why does she sound so much like emma watson. lovely video! so amazingly helpful
It usually goes both ways ....
Enjoyed it. :)
This really and truly made me think about the way relationships in my life have fallen apart or been damaged by people I thought cared about me. I've always wondered and had a subtle idea as to why that occurred, but this just cements the truth for me. Thank you for this video.
So it's a thing we're hurt people want to continue the cycle of hurting people
Do you need help on this...
Don't be carried away by all this videos stop wasting your time here , I've tried this so many times and it didn't work until I met a powerful man👱who helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through. I am really grateful to him. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too....
Here is his WhatsApp number...
@@aliciamuggleton4713 thank you
Thank you
I havn't seen the video, I'm commenting after seeing the thumbnail.
I think it has to do with self-hatred. Some people love and hate themselves at the same time. They feel self-abuse and self-criticism is ok. They get frustrated with their own self. This doesn’t mean they don't like themselves. In the same way they do to the people around them. This process doesn't feel wrong to them. They feel it's a part of their personality.
Though I know this true some of the time I do believe that most of the hurt done these days, at least in my adult lifetime, is from economic stressors. I think that can and often does bring out the worst of people. Logically but unknowingly, we take it out on those whom we provide for or rely upon for provision.
Poverty does increase anyone’s ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score.
Still, it’s the parents’ responsibility to not harm their children. Children are completely vulnerable, adults less so. And parents can offset the effects of ACEs by building resilience factors in their children’s lives.
@@annetteprice I agree but it is the chronic stressors in adult lives that inadvertently effect the children as well as other adults around the home. Like cats feed off the energy in the room and their own internal signals. These are what I’m talking about. Not the careless, bad personality of a parent. Those people are in a different category. It’s the everyday, unintentional hurt we do to one another that I believe has an even more pervasiveness in the family and the society we have brought upon ourselves. And with technology and the ambivalence of those addicted to it (through necessity or lack of self control) our culture has put it all on steroids.