I was with my mother when she died. The last thing she said was "I want to go home and don't tell me I'm already there, you know what I mean. So I said okay you can go and she stopped breathing a couple of minutes later.
My former father-in-law had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He picked his “death” day 6 months prior to his passing. He said that was the day his mother had died, and he would be doing the same. The afternoon of the day he had picked, he wanted us all to gather with him. He was completely lucid, and although very thin, he didn’t look close to death. At 11:30 pm, I told home it was looking like he was going to be with us a little longer, and he told me it wasn’t midnight yet, and there was still time. At 11:45pm that night, he took his last breath.
The doctor had a chat with a man with cancer talking about his good life and many accomplishments on Friday of a long weekend not expecting to see him again. The following week a dear friend, a nurse, asked him what was holding him back. He said he wanted to visit his summer home a 5 hour drive away. She explained what he needed to do to prepare for such a strenuous event. He did it all and spent 2 days there with many friends visiting him. He returned to the hospital and died 2 days later. He had a funeral and 2 memorial services in 3 cities in 3 provinces.
My mom had stage four cancer my entire pregnancy. I was two states away on bed rest for most it it, and the last few months she wasn’t able to communicate much. When my daughter was born her caretaker told her, she blinked and smiled, then just a few minutes after midnight she died. I believe she waited that extra time so my daughters birthday would not be her grandmothers death anniversary.
My grandmother was terminally ill with cancer and they gave her 4 months to live. My high graduation was 6 months later, and so she willed herself to survive the extra time. She attended my graduation, and then I went to my grad night party, came home the next day, and she and I had a brief conversation about how I was doing and what my plans were for the future. And then she wanted to sleep. We found her dead the next morning having died during the night. She completed all she had to do and now she could go.
I am an RN and worked as the director on an oncology floor for 10 years. I developed a passion for end of life care and have many stories. This story relates to your story about how a person might choose or influence the time they die. We had a patient with terminal cancer. She had been a patient on my floor many times. For many reasons, in-home hospice care was not an option for her. One night she had an unscheduled admission and it looked as though she was close to death. She had three adult children who were constantly at her bedside. They stayed the night and the next day she had transitioned to a state of actively dying. Her son came to the the nurse's station and said his mom was restless and starting to groan and he asked us to medicate her. My charge nurse got the opiate prescribed for her and walked into her room. She told the three adult children that due to her condition the injection of an opiate may hasten her death . All three children agreed it was the right thing to do as they did not want their mother's final hours on this planet to be painful. The IV opiate was administered. About an hour later, the son came back to the nurse's station and said "it didn't work". I asked him what didn't work, he said she got the injection but she is still breathing. As I was explaining to him our intent was not to give her a fatal dose of medication, etc. etc. my charge nurse went back into the room. Me and the son followed her. She looked each of the three adult children in the eye and asked each of them, one at at time...are you ready for your mom to die? They each responded with a tearful yes. Then she took the patient by the hand and said softly in her ear, she called her by name and said your children are here with you. They don't want you to suffer any more. If you see the light...walk into the light. She took her last breath and died.
Each one of us has to answer to God. Just hope the mother was ready to go into eternity. Myself I could never rush anyone's death. My parents are deceased, it will be my turn next. I just took myself off hospice as I want to live as long as God allows. Also, believe in having ones priest give last rites. Of course many don't have a belief.
So an update on Dad. He wanted a fish fry today. He was sitting in his recliner. I just saw this video on my feed. I think he is waiting until everyone goes home tonight. He's stubborn as a mule sometimes. It wouldn't surprise me that he wanted to see everyone today.❤
@@SpiritSeekersIL The same happened with my dad. He was in hospice for 5 days and I was with him every night just to make sure he was comfortable. My mom told me that she wanted me to come home and get proper rest because she said that she could tell that I exhausted. My dad died the night that I went home to get rest. I was so angry with my mom because I really wanted to be with my dad when he transitioned. When I told this story to others they all said the same thing. Dad wanted to be alone when he left. Knowing that did not give me any comfort. For a long time I was bitter. Now I understand and respect his decision.
@@lea-analowery4585Same happened with my dad. There was someone with him 24/7, in hospitals, rehabs, and at home. We brought him back to the hospital to treat an infection and the nurse told Mom and me to go home, to finally get some rest, as he was comfortably asleep. He passed away that one night when we weren't next to him.
Twenty years ago, my dad was in the hospital and we weren't quite sure how long Dad was going to hold on. My sister traveled back to upstate New York (a five and a half hour drive) when the hospital staff said that Dad's breathing was getting shallower and that things were not looking too well. We called my sister who literally turned around and drove five and half hours back to the hospital, arriving at about 12 midnight. My sister came in and we all surrounded Dad and he took his last breath at 12:04. I just knew he waited until his "little girl" got there! What an honor to be with him. Five years later, as my mother took her last breath, I held the cell phone to my mom's ear so she could listen to my oldest brother talk with her while he made a mad dash through the hospital corridor getting to the room. When he stepped into the room and we all held her, she passed. Another beautiful experience that I am so honored to have been a part of.
My brother-in-laws mom was terminal with breast cancer. There had been many close calls, but this was the one. All family members were gathered in Iowa where dear Lois was from, only one was missing, my brother-in-law, her son, from Los Angeles. He was doing everything to get there before she passed! And that woman hung on!! It was beautiful! She passed shortly after Rick arrived. A mother's love!❤
My dad did the same. He was dying of cancer and I was 9 months pregnant living across the nation. He hung on long enough for me to have the baby, recover a week then I was able to go. I got there, showed him the baby and said goodbye. He died that night
My mom didn’t want any of us 5 children to be with her when she died. She watched my dad die 6 weeks before her and didn’t like how his mouth stayed open like he was screaming, and didn’t want us to see that. It was like you said, we went to get coffee, and all of us just happened to not be in the room. That is when she passed. She was very introverted and independent, like you said. It shocked us, but we feel that she went on her terms.
My dad was a very outgoing guy who everyone loved. We decided somehow to have a party before he got too sick. He was pretty sick! At the party we were talking and he said, “I’m going to be just fine by Monday!”. He died on Monday.
Hi Julie, Really enjoy your channel. And, yes I know we can choose when we pass. My Mom passed a couple of years ago. She was in a hospice facility with excellent care. Mom went into hospice in a coma that that was a result of a fall. Mom was there a few days and we were able to visit 24/7. On the third day when I left, I told her if she had to leave before I came back in the morning then I would see her when I “get home” . No calls over night so I got ready and went earlier than usual. I walked in and the first thing I did is check her breathing and kiss her. I went to the other side of the bed to put down my bag and came back and she had passed within seconds of me arriving. It was a gift.
My grandmother was dying of CHF but had rallied several times. Each time she was calm and conscious, she’d see dead relatives. (My sister kept saying, “Make them go away. You stay here with us!”) My mom, sister and I discussed whether we wanted to be with her when she passed. I said no. My mom said yes. My sister said, I want to be at the hospital but not in the room. One day after work, I stopped off to get dinner before going to the hospital. Five minutes before I entered the room, my grandmother passed away. My mom was in the room with her. My sister had left the room momentarily to go to the bathroom. We all got our wish. (Still miss you, G.)
I'm a retired veterinarian. I had an experience like what you're describing, only the dying patient was a family's cat. It was clear the beloved cat was nearing the end of its life. The family wanted to do all they could to make the last days/hours as comfortable as possible. They obviously figured they'd be there at the dying, but the kitty chose a time when no one was home to peacefully leave life. It really struck me because of the deep disappointment of the human family members. The kitty loved her family, but I think she wanted the peace and quiet of being by herself before she left her body.
My brother told us at the beginning of the week he was going to die at the end of the week. He had terminal cancer and was not expected to live, the doctors told us it may be a few weeks. The day before he died his vitals were normal. The next morning was Saturday I arrived and the aide said his nose was bleeding, the nurse checked his vitals and his blood pressure was really low. The nurse called hospice to come check on him. I called my sister to come as he was transitioning. While I was waiting I told him I told him I loved him and I would see him soon, as I believe time is very different in heaven and although many years could pass before I joined him it would be a moment to him. My sister arrived and we held his hands and the time between breaths increased until he didn’t take another breath. It was so peaceful,no struggle, at-last he was no longer in pain.
Yes! My mom was able to wake up from being unconscious, had a very short rally to say her goodbyes, say she wanted to go on to hospice and not fight anymore. She slipped back into unconscious while watching a TH-cam video with me of a game my sister and I used to play as kids. Mom waited until the playthrough ended and the credits.rolled to pass away. I even jokingly asked her (while she was unconscious) if she was waiting until the video ended. ❤️. I miss her so much, but that memory is so sweet. I will always treasure it.
My dad died on July 4, 1999. He was an Episcopal priest, and he was ordained priest on July 4, 1953. He died at the same hour he was ordained. I believe he chose that day and that hour. In late June of 2006, my mother was intubated and in ICU. The doctors decided to take the tube out to see if she could breathe on her own, but it quickly became apparent that she was struggling, but she did not want to be intubated again. My sister was with her, and when they had a quiet moment, she asked her, "What's the date?" My sister answered, "July 4." Mom got a determined look on her face and said, "I am NOT going to die on the same day as your father!" Soon after that she lapsed into her final coma. She died on July 7, not July 4. My sister and I talked about this the other day, and she pointed out that this "choosing" seems to be a matter of letting go. People in that situation don't *choose* to die. It's more like they chose not to live any longer, and they let go of life.
When my grandad passed he called all of us sons and grandsons aside and told us how he was proud of the men we had become. He was a stubborn man that rarely gave compliments, so I'll never forget his last words to us. He looked at my dad and uncles and said "I'm going to get to hug my mother." He was gone a few minutes later.
I do believe we can choose our time. I believe my father was being visited by my mother on New Years Eve- he was talking to someone and shaking his head no. He loved getting his social security check and I believe he was waiting for that on January 1. On January 1 the hospice nurse stopped by, he spoke with both of us, I walked her to the door and when I went back to dad he was gone. He was always a very independent person ❤
My stepfather, who was an introvert, waited in hospice until I was able to travel to him. I arrived on a Wednesday. I think he was also waiting for his friend Betty who was supposed to travel from Tonga to see him. But she called that next day, Thursday, to say she couldn't come because the king of Tonga had died and the whole country was locked down. It was out of her hands, and my stepfather accepted that. He then waited until we were all out of the room to get coffee and died. So he both waited for his visitors and then chose to die alone in peace. When you said introverts tend to do that, I had a real AHA moment! He wanted to say goodbye but then have privacy.
My mother was on a vent for several days when my sister made the decision to remove her from it. We expected her to die quickly. She had agreed to be placed on the vent but we discussed with her and the Dr's when to remove her from the vent before she went on it. We asked that she be made comfortable and she was unconscious all of the time I am so glad that we did, because it is such a hard decision to make. We stayed at the hospital overnight the first night. All day the 2nd day but went home that night as she was stable. On the 3rd day, the Dr started talking to us about hospice as she could not remain in the CCU. She died about 2 hrs after we left. I always felt badly she was alone, but she was stable when we left and the resident said she had checked on her about 1/2 hour before she died and she was stable then too. She slipped quietly away.
Julie, our good friend chose to die the day after the Fourth of July. He was a real patriot, one of his fav holidays, and he wanted to have his last meal with his wife, son, grandchild and close friends. He did it his way! Love your videos!
@@iSheree I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It's just not easy to deal with and I personally am having an extremely hard time dealing with it all. Thank you for your reply.
@Bbblueyes333 thank you for trying to help people have choices! I am stage 4 NSCLC and I am using the protocol, thankfully a friend told me about it when I was diagnosed! The Drs gave me 90 days maximum to live and I am her 5 years later! Everyone has an opinion so no need to apologize, instead of being rude to you the person could have scrolled on by! ❤️
@Bbblueyes333my close friend's dad had pancreatic cancer with a month left to life, per doctors. His wife researched a dog de-wormer and the cancer cells rapidly decreased for a while. The meds gave him an extra couple of years, mostly pain free. Some appreciate your thoughts. 😊
@Bbblueyes333not all people feel this way, so keep passing your information to others, it very well may help someone.. my father passed from angiosarcoma Thanksgiving of this past year and we tried several things… obviously they didn’t work for him but may work for someone else
My grandmother-in-law was a nurse. At 90, her daughter came to town to tour nursing homes. Unbeknownst to her, Nana told me she would never go into a nursing home. They both toured one and the daughter told me Nana was agreeable. The next day, Nana died as I knew she chose to because she told me what she wouldn't tell anyone else.
I have seen all of what you spoke about in my years as a nurse. I warned families of all of them. I especially told them that if they say they are going to die today/tonight/tomorrow, believe them!
My father had terminal esophageal cancer. He ran his own business and one morning either knew or decided this was his last day. He gave instructions on winding up the business as he progressively lost feeling in legs, was taken to the hospital where he refused the nasal oxygen, took his wife's hand, and died. No hours or days of Cheyenne-Stokes breathing, no death rattle, simply yielded peacefully.
Thanks so much for sharing! I’m currently experiencing end of life anxiety! I love your videos so much because they help me to understand what is actually taking place during this process, may god continue to bless you😇👍🏽.
My father in law told us he was not going to be here for Christmas he was tired. 2 weeks before Christmas, he passed away peacefully in his sleep. It was such a beautiful way to go.
Yes! My father waited for his 75th birthday. He died on his birthday and he was very proud and indeed waited until I left to get his meal to transition.
My Grandma waited until everyone left to pass in her sleep.She had heart failure due to COPD and she went to take a nap and passed. She had people that morning. Before she was put in assisted living she was independant and was still pretty independant when she passed. She just did not want to live alone anymore and did not want to bother with living with family so she chose assisted living.
I had a very good friend in her eighties, a Dominican sister, who suddenly was in heart failure. The nurse practitioner, everyone was urging her to go to the hospital for treatment. When I arrived she told me she didn’t want to go to the hospital and go through all that. I told her you don’t have to go; you can do anything you want. She was so relieved and thanked me for saying that to her. Over the next few months I kept visiting and it was hard watching her decline. But she did it her way. Before her illness I used to take her out to eat and she’d want Burger King. She’d write down the ingredients for me, so I’d ordered it for her that way. She lived and died her way. Thank you Julie for creating this forum to share our stories of death and dying. ❤️
My dad died last june 14th. I had some conversations with him prior about dying. He said that he was done with life and because of his kidney and heart faillure he didn't really have much quality of life. So i thought that when the moment was there he would be at peace because he would get some rest. Instead what we got was my dad fighting for 14 hours in pure fear of dying. Worst thing i ever saw. I'm at peace with my dad dying because strangely it's better for him but seeing him fighting for 14 hours sitting by his side is something i can't shake. He didn't choose to die i think but he for sure knew it was coming. My grandmother seemed to have waited for me to go before she died. We sat in shifts at her bedside for 3 days and i went to pick up my other grandparents to come visit my grandmother which took me like 10 to 15 minutes. When i got back and parked my car i saw my dad standing at the entrance of the facility she stayed in and i knew it already happened.
On Super Bowl Sunday I spent the day at a trauma hospital where my brother was admitted after falling from a piece of equipment and breaking his neck and then having a stroke. When I returned home my husband who was ill as a result of Agent Orange, sat and talked about my brother's condition. My husband looked at me and said "I don't want you to get involved with your brother's care". As a nurse I had always been the caregiver in the family. I said to him that I hoped he didn't think that my helping my brother would take away from the care I gave him because he would always be my first priority. He said that that wouldn't be the case. At 1/2 time he went to bed and that was the last time we spoke. Days later he passed. I have always thought that he chose or knew when he would die. I also took care of my mother in the same time period - and she chose Mother's Day - because her best friend was coming to see her the next day and I think she didn't want her to see her in that condition.
I use to work in a retirement home and we had this resident that started having health issues and needed to go to a nursing home. He was adamant he was not leaving and fought to stay where he was. He said the only way he’ll leave is when he dies. He did pass at the retirement home a few days before his transfer to the nursing home. The human will is amazing.
My Nana 100% knew when she was going to die. I was out of town staying with my Aunt (her daughter) for a work trip and I was supposed to drive home late Sunday night. My Nana called me and insisted that I stay one more night and drive home Monday instead of late Sunday and I agreed. And on Sunday night when her caretaker was putting her to bed my Nana told her “You don’t need to come over tomorrow dear, I won’t be here.” She passed on Monday morning and she orchestrated everything so my Aunt would not be alone when she received the news that she had passed since I stayed the extra night with her and was still there.
Thank you for this video! My Dad died December 1st 2022. He had Dementia but in the last couple of months before passing he often spoke to dead relatives close to him, especially his Mother, whom he was very close to. During his stay at Hospital just a day before passing, he lifted his arms as if hugging someone. I believe he chose to go later on in the early morning.
My father took the family dog for a drive every late afternoon at the same time. One day, my mother heard him tell the dog it would be the last time he would take him for a drive. That evening, he died of a heart attack. Another story: Winston Churchill fought his final illness for weeks and then gave up the fight for survival. He died on the sixtieth anniversary of his father's death.
I absolutely believe you can choose when you die. I was with my mom years ago visiting my grandparents in Florida. Mom and I would go at least once a year to cook some meals to freeze for them, clean the house and also a nice long visit ❤️. My grandmother ( 86 years old) was fine for the 2 weeks we were visiting, the night before she said how much she hated to see us go but laid out her clothes for the trip to the airport the next day to see us off. When I went to wake her next morning for breakfast she had died in her sleep! Traumatic for us but what a wonderful way to go. I think about that a lot and how nice that she was home and with people she loved after a wonderful visit😊❤️
You are a treasure trove of information. Please keep making these educational videos, the substance of the information you provide removes a lot of the mystery of what everyone has questions about.
I had a person that was at my work decide that she had enough and stopped eating and drinking on her own. The person did this twice.The first they sent them to the hospital and got them treatment and convinced the person to keep going. The second time the family understood and let the person go. They passed a couple weeks later and it was peaceful.
My mom died with only me with her. My step dad was home but outside with my mom's brother. I had been up and down all night as she was in her hospice bed in the living room. The hospice nurse was hired for nights from 10-6 and I took turns with my aunt and a niece...but at this time I'd been administering her morphine and anxiety meds. The nurse changed her and mom said her back hurt so much so I rubbed a topical cream into her back and gave her pain meds before the night nurse left. After this, I checked her oxygen and it was at 48. I gave her a breathing treatment and it came back up to 94. COPD. I knew she was tired and I whispered in her ear that I loved her and it's okay if she needed to go. I had been praying for her to die peacefully and thank God that the house wasn't full of people. She looked peaceful. She was breathing still and not in any pain. So I decided to lay down on the couch. But I kept watching her stomach rise and fall with each breath. Then After about 20 minutes, something told me to look and I watched her take her last breath. I went to her bed and sat next to her and then, I remember looking up at the ceiling because I've heard so many ppl tell their NDE,'s and their soul floats up to the ceilings in many accounts. So that's why I looked up and I said, " see you later mom. I love you forever." It was our own private and special moment. She was there as I took my first breath, and I was there when she took her last and I feel so blessed that she let me be there. Then I got my stepdad and uncle, told them she is gone, and one last time to be sure, I put the monitor on her finger and it was zero. So I turned off the oxygen and took the oxygen contraption out of her nose and called hospice. I miss my mom. Two years later, to the day, my stepdad was on hospice, again I was one of his caregivers with his daughter and my son who helped. He called for my mom because he said he saw her in the living room while he was in the bedroom. That's when I knew he was going to die. And he died on my son's watch. We'd just gotten his hospice bed the day before . But my son was devastated bcz he fell asleep and woke up to his grandpa who passed away. He shouldn't feel bad but it really hurt him to lose grandpa. Thanks for the platform. I've learned a lot. Tomorrow, I turn 60 and I'll be thinking of my mom who gave me life...well, God did, but my mom carried me for 9 months and took care of me so I am glad I could do the same for her. This is an honor. God bless!
What a beautiful story and outlook!! It was an HONOR to be a caregiver to my Mom while she was sick and dying, and yes, I was there when she passed peacefully. ((big hugs, Deborah))
The night that my mother died in the hospital (age 93); the entire family had been keeping vigil with her for days. My dad; her husband of 75 years and with dementia; was with her also. When she chose to die, my dad and my youngest brother had gone for food. Those of us remaining in her room were able to cope???? I truly believe that she chose to die at this time. I might add....the day before she died, she opened her eyes wide after being non-communicative. My dad and I were the only ones sitting with her at that time. She opened her eyes wide, smiled so brightly, and pointed to a high place in the room. She then said to me, "Look! look! tell dad! tell dad to look!" I will NEVER forget those precious moments because I know that she was guided and in control of how her death was going to play out. She was not going to traumatize her husband and her youngest son who was already not able to deal with what was happening.
My 3 siblings and I stood vigil around my Dads hospital bed when he was dying. One of the nurses said we might as well go home and they’d call if there were any changes. After many hours we all left to either go home or back to my parents house and he passed. I truly feel he didn’t want us all there when he passed ❤
I had the same experience when my Dad passed away about five years ago. He was generally a quiet man who didn't want anyone to make a fuss over him. An hour after my mom, brother and I left the hospital after being with him all day, the ICU nurse called us and said he was gone.
My father lay dying for 2 days, very restless and uneasy. Mother and I left the room to get a bite to eat and he died within 5 minutes. He was a proud, independent man and I think he did not want us to see him go.....
Yes, my hubby died day after his birthday as he had wanted to die in the same week as his father did and a brother that had passed many years ago. No matter what,I was still shocked; and yes I had left the room to sip on my coffee and went back into the bedroom to check on him as he was unconscious for 2 days, he was gone. Thank you for doing these videos, had really educated me and helped me more than expected.
I do believe my wife passed while I was in the bathroom to keep me from seeing her last breath She knew how that memory would be etched in my mind and I believe it was an act of true love on her part keeping me from that awful moment That night is still a terrible memory
My sister had struggled with cancer for 10 years. One day she said to my dad that she was so tired and that she wanted to die. After everyone that she wanted to see arrived she took her last breath. I do believe people can choose when to die since I’ve see. It too. My dad sat at my moms side for weeks in the hospital and one night he decided to go home to shower and the minute he got home he got a call from the hospital that she passed. I don’t think my dad could have handled seeing my mom take her last breath so she waited until he left. My aunt was in the hospital dying and she wanted to see her only estranged son and the family finally convinced him to come see her and the minute she saw him she passed. So yes I do believe people can decide when to die. ❤️❤️❤️. Thank you for all the work you fo. Working in hospice is never easy. God bless. ❤️❤️
Actually, now that I think about it, my mother passed away a week after I spent the night with her. My mum even said in that week to her mum, (,my grandma), that she had the most lovliest time together and yea, a week later she died. My mum's illness was kidney failure and I remember the last couple of years she said she's had enough. After everything she went through, I would rather have her on the other side, happy and no pain compared to being on this Earth and in pain. 🙏
My Grandmother told my aunts that she was going home on the next Tuesday to be with Octave who was her deceased husband my grandfather they told her he had passed years before and they were starting to wonder if she had unknowingly had dementia but she still insisted she was and the hospital hadn't given her a discharge date, and when I went to visit her she told me the same thing and i said well ok Gramma, and I'll be darned if she didn't pass on the following Tuesday.
My dad did the waiting on someone death. All his kids, step kids and brothers & sisters were there except me because they all lived in Alabama but I had moved to Arkansas, so naturally they all assumed he was waiting for me to get into town. When I got there he was laying in his hospital bed at his home, he was smiling and talking to anyone who came in to see him. We each took a turn and went in his room to say our goodbyes. Afterward the ambulance was called to take him on to the hospital. Everyone thought he would pass on as soon as we got him to the hospital because I was finally there but he didn't! He laid in the hospital for three more days. Finally his preacher, who had been doing a revival in another town, came to his room and asked to pray with all of us. We all gathered around daddy (I was suctioning the secretions from his throat) and the minute the preacher started praying daddy's secretion started turning red with blood. It wasn't me he was waiting on it was his preacher!! Before the prayer was over daddy finally let go and went to Heaven to be with with his Maker!!
That may have been the case with my Dad who died at the VA in the hospice unit. My sister and I sat with him during the day for the three weeks he was there. The day he died we both were there and my sister left to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen at the end of the hallway. She must have been gone 3 minutes. His breathing changed just after she left the room. I called the nurse and she checked his pulse and said “where is your sister?” I’m getting her. Just then my sister walked in the room. She could tell something was up and the nurse told her that he was gone. Three minutes tops!
My mother in law was dying. She waited until my husband, her youngest son, returned from overseas. He went to the hospital. Once they had a quiet talk, she died. It took him 4 days to return to US.
I was a certified oncology nurse who did chemotherapy infusions for many years. We did witness this phenomenon several times. Patients wanting to see the birth of a grandchild happened a few times.
My dad was a double-waiter! He waited for me to travel several hours to reach him, and ALSO waited for me to leave the room before dying. I was okay with that-it was his choice. So much power gets taken away from the elderly or sick over time, so this he could control, and it seemed right. I had sat with him, assured him I would take care of the things I knew meant the most to him, and told him I’d be in the next room and would not leave. He died minutes later. I’m grateful I was able to be with each of my parents when they passed. It’s not for everyone I guess, but for me it was important somehow, and I worried about it a lot. My prayers in that regard were heard and answered.
I absolutely believe people wait for the right time to die. I know that my stepmother wanted me to be there for my dad when she died. So she waited until I got there and just over 24 hours later, she died. She originally waited to see her grandson graduate, but then she knew I was coming to town later. So she waited. I am so thankful for that.
My grandfather was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. He was 92 and didn’t want any treatment. He tolerated the transition from home to the hospital where he shared the room with another man. He then needed to be transferred to a nursing home since he was not seeking treatment. I saw him the next day after the transfer. He told me that he hated the home and they would find him dead soon. During that night he died peacefully.
My dad was born on April fools day (he called it a holiday) he told me he was born on a holiday and he was going to leave this world on a holiday. He was true to his word he passed Christmas Eve 2013.
Yes. I have seen something like this a few times and heard of it, too. My former neighbor's grandmother was in her 90s and in reasonably good health. They had a family reunion on a Friday night. Everyone was there, even her son who lived in Alaska (this was in Minnesota). Saturday morning, the grandmother got up, sat down in the rocking chair and died. My mother waited until I left to die - I think to spare me. I had been with her all day, but she waited to die until I was gone. The nurse called me as soon as I walked in my door. When I got back to the hospital, she was gone. I also heard of a relative years ago who seemed to be in good health but got up one day and insisted his wife drive him to the hospital. As soon as they got him into a room, he died. I also had another relative whose husband did not die until she said he could - he'd begged her to let him go previously, and she didn't. As soon as she said it was okay, he died.
My mother died of a hospital MRSA infection and was in an isolation ICU for approximately 6 weeks. I virtually lived at the hospital and only went home once a day to shower and change my clothes during times when she was asleep or having tests. Otherwise, I slept in the ICU family room and even had a little home under a desk. One day she rallied and stabliized and I asked a nurse if she thought I was safe to go home and sleep in my own bed. The nurse said to me, "You need to go do something with that hair." So I left the hospital, stopped on my way home for a hair cut, and slept in my own bed, Early the following morning I got "the call" that I needed to return to the hospital. Her lungs had collapsed. During the night they had moved her to another ICU on another floor and I got lost in the huge hospital hallways trying to find her. (I am dyslexic.) I heard them calling her doctor's name and Code Blue over the speaker and I was frantic. When I finally found her room they had just pronounced her and the doctors were walking out of the room. I was too late. It wasn't until several years later that I heard about this phenomena of waiting to be alone to die but she had it timed down to the minute! Also, she had told me of several instances where she was out chatting with other people around the hospital, in the waiting room, etc. when she had never been out of her bed. On the morning of her death I was sitting outside the hospital having a cigarette while waiting for my sister and brothers to show up when I very clearly heard her say to me, "You need to stop those cigarettes, look what happened to me." She KNEW I was there!
I believe my Mom did. She was on hospice and Mom had remarked that she would have loved to have one more big family dinner which at the time was 23 of us. On her final day, the hospice nurse said we were probably within 24 hours. We all headed "home " to say goodbye. Children, grandchildren and great grandchildren all said their goodbyes. My sister in law ordered Chinese food for all of us as we gathered at Mom's. We sat down around the table for "one last family dinner. As we were clearing the plates, the CNA with her came out to tell us she had passed. She got her family dinner. ❤
My husbands grandmother waited for everyone, including the daughter she disliked very much to drive from California to NW Washington (almost to the Canadian border). As soon as she got there she declined quite rapidly and was gone in less than 1/2 hour. My mother in law - we got her home and she passed 12-1/2 hours later after all the grandkids came and her cat was bedside the entire time❤. We worked hard to get her home!! Yes, I believe people know.
Both my parents were really family centered and both waited until we figured out that we wanted all of their children in the room together. We had been sitting vigil for days so that someone would be there when they died. The hospice people suggested that maybe they wanted to be alone. Definitely not. We all had to be there together seated around them and holding their hands and telling them we loved them. Then they went quickly. Both times the feeling was so loving.
A week before my mom died, she told my aunt what flowers she wanted at her funeral. All week she readied herself. She had my sister put a perm in her hair. She was lovely. On Friday night she had a slight heart attack, but laughed it off. Wouldn't go to the ER. Said she had a doctor appointment on Monday. On Sunday afternoon at 5:20 she drew her last breath. She was only 61 years old! I was shocked. That's when my aunt showed me her Bible where she had put the information about the flowers. She thought it would be years before she'd need it. I realized mom knew she was dying. I was so glad that the last thing I said to her before I left that Sunday afternoon was I love you. I'll see you tomorrow. I did. But not as I expected. It was at the funeral home. ❤ It's been 36 years since she died. I still miss her. ❤
On the morning of my Dad's last day, I had a strong feeling that I had to be with him that day and not stray too far away. I held his hand and played music throughout the day and although he was sedated and eyes closed and not visibly responsive. I told him throughout the day that it was up to him when he wanted to go be with God and Grammy and telling him I loved him very much. At 6 p.m. , I stepped out in the hall to talk to the nurse. Crying , I asked her if there was anymore they could do because he was in so many times over the past few years for a tuneup and continued on living. She said, I'm sorry but not this time. I had only been out in the hall away from my Dad for no more then 30 seconds and the nurse said she was going to go in to check on him. When she went in, she turned straight back around and said : Your Dad passed. Did he have a part in this after me telling him that I wanted him to choose when he goes? And perhaps he knew in the long run, that it would be easier on me? I will never truly know for sure until I cross over, but it sure felt like the way the day played out that my Dad and God played a role in the way that he went on that day.❤
My mother's best friend died like that first example. She supposedly had another few weeks, but her son was going back home the next day. And my mom was there. She checked on that, and was gone within the hour.
Both my dad and an uncle chose when they were going to go. My uncle was home alone as his wife was away visiting their daughter. My uncle asked his brother (another uncle) if he could stay at his house that night, very odd request as they lived in the same town and it wasn't something they ever did before. My uncle died in his sleep that night, his brother found him in the morning. My thoughts are that he didn't want his wife to find his body.
I have I was also a Hospice Nurse and I also did end of life and altzheimers. I seen many people pass comfortably, and dignity. It was truly a honor to care for my patients. Thank you for what you do.
People only need to be told the mechanism of the death process. I have done Shamanism training as well as learned how to do out of body travel, remote viewing training, and have had bi-location experiences. I gave my dying father and my dying uncle the power to choose by explaining to them that when they are ready all they had to do was relax deeply and slip out through the top of the head. The crown chakra is the exit point and actually softens at the end of life according to Eastern yogis. My uncle used this information within 2 hours of being admitted to hospice. It shocked my cousin to his core because my uncle appeared to be suffering but very verbal. My father did it immediately upon my telling him as he was struggling, much to the surprise of the 5 hospice personnel who were witnesses. I don’t know where the hospice idea of the death process being hard work came from, but I hope it is ditched in favor of the truth. Telling dying people that they are doing hard work causes much suffering. At least that was what I observed on these two occasions. My husband died at home and left in his sleep. He knew long before about this because I had shared it with him a decade before he had a stroke.
I remember my brother in law asking me how he would know to actually cross over. I told him that when its time, im sure he will know. He needed to go to the hospital because he was in so much pain and it was on my birthday. My husband asked him if he could hold off one day to go because every year something bad happens to either of my parents, brothers and sister, and I now hate my birthday. He waited the one day which was beyond sweet of him. He spent like 10 days in this hospital. Every night his wife slept with him in bed and someone else stayed with her on the couch. I knew it was going to be the night that his wife and his Mom were there to sleep after everyone else left. They woke up screaming because he had passed away while they were sleeping. I called it, sadly.
Back in the 1980s I was doing private duty on the night shift for a lady in the hospital. She was in there for a medical condition but was not that sick. When I got ready to leave in the morning I told her I’ll see you tonight and she thanked me and said, “ you don’t need to come back tonight I’m not going to be here.”. I asked her was she going home today and she said “I’m just not going to be here tonight.”.I went home and later that day I got to call from the agency and she had passed away. She didn’t tell me that she was going to die. She just said she wasn’t going to be there and she wasn’t. I believe she knew she was going to die.
I absolutely believe that we Sam choose when to exit. When my mother in law who was 97 went out shopping (she proudly maintained her independence ) she had an accident in her condo neighborhood. No one was hurt. She hit a HVAC unit and her car was a bit wrecked. She was told by her son that she could not drive anymore. After being stripped of her independence a d driving privilege, she started declining with her health and passed a couple of weeks after her accident. She clearly had no desire to be here any longer. I would have to say, I would feel the same way.
Well it is not exactly the same thing but my former husband was dying of cancer. It felt like I prayed him thru all the major events. Our sons bdays (May & June), Father’s Day, our daughters bday July 11. He passed on July 12th. I had hoped for August but that didn’t happen. I had to get to my uncle’s bedside in a neighboring town hospital. I got there and his son and daughter-in-law and daughter were there. His wife, my dad’s sister has went home for a little while and he passed while she was gone. I was so thankful I could be there. It was a great experience to witness him passing. I could feel his spirit leave his body. I will be forever be grateful for that experience. ❤️
When you described the person who waits for everyone to leave, that was my mom a month ago. We stood vigil for 5 days and nights. Her personality was exactly as you described. Thank you for this video.
@@muriel5826 thank you. Even though hospice told us to start stepping out because she might need to be alone to die, I have still felt guilt as I was the one standing watch when it happened. She passed about ten minutes after I stepped out. I’ve been thinking “if only I stayed another ten minutes, she wouldn’t have been alone.” Julie’s video gives me a little comfort that maybe that’s what she needed.
@@mdw1000 Julie’s videos are very comforting. Yes, I think your mom was waiting for you to leave before she passed. She probably wanted to spare you that experience. She must have loved you very much. ❤️
We had my grandfather (88) move in with us after grandma (72) suddenly died of heart attack. He was just miserable missing her and one morning he fell and hit his head and my folks decided to take him to the ER to make sure he was ok. I remember waving to him goodbye and when my folks came home without him I just thought they had admitted him. Turns out when they arrived my father told him ( in Italian) “ Pop we’re here” put him in a wheelchair and as soon as they entered he took his last breath!😳😳😳. I don’t think he wanted to die at our house.
Hi Julie! I was a hospice nurse and had many experiences. Never the one you described though! I think some may know they are about to die because God allows them to for his purposes. It's kind of like giving birth. My first son was a month early, second son a week late, 3rd right on time. I controlled none of it, but I am fully persuaded that God controlled ALL of it. To God be the glory.❤️
I had a lady staying at the assisted living facility that I worked at. One night she asked for help to the bathroom, which I did. She told me she’d like to go on hospice and she wanted to die. I was the overnight nurse so I passed the message to the day shift so we could get a doctor referral. I didn’t believe she was going to die because she was still walking, talking eating and passing urine but she was dead three days later.
Yes, my Mom entered hospice after breaking her pelvises and a hip…then getting post operative dementia and pneumonia. When she was accepted into hospice, the team didn’t think she would make it through the night. My sister and I were there but not my brother. My Mom was the happiest when all her children were with her at once. She waited until my brother got there the next afternoon. While we all were talking, she quietly died. My husband had a rare disease that eventually destroyed his kidneys. He was tired of fighting and chose not to do dialysis. He knew that I needed to leave for a two month long business trip but I couldn’t go if he was still in home hospice. He never really declined at the end, like people do with kidney failure. December 23, he had a favorite dinner, had a long discussion with our youngest daughter and then said he was tired. He went in to take a bath (a highly favorite activity). After his bath, he came barreling into the bedroom, sat in his chair and said, “I can’t breath”. In mere minutes he died sitting up. He was clean and naked. I only had to take out his special earring….otherwise there was not much preparation to be done. If he had waited much longer, we would have been going into Christmas. I know he would not have wanted that. I also know he was worried about my important business trip that I would have needed to do in early January. I feel confident in saying he chose his time.
My dad died 15 minutes after we all left for the night (we were just down the road at my Gramma's). I feel like he knew that us actually being there for his passing would have been more traumatic.
My Grandmother on my ex-wife’s side not only waited for everyone, but finally passed away when my Mother in law convinced her sister to tell Mom, “it’s ok, you can go now”. Grandma had to hear those words and we all felt she was holding on to “have permission” to go. Shortly thereafter, she passed away. My Grandfather (he passed away before Grandma) passed away after everyone left for late lunch. It was my brother in law and me there, and he passed away quietly in his sleep. Your observations are spot on about one and two. I love your channel and your insights to things we will face, to inform but more importantly *prepare* us so we aren’t afraid, surprised or horrified at this stage of life. It’s nice to have you “hold” our hands (for a lack of a better description), because we have no idea how we will handle this no matter how much we think we can. It’s one of those things that can’t really be explained, only experienced, but you make it easier for us. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos - you don’t know how much it helps! ❤️
And when I was young and just starting out in my nursing career, I was working as a CNA I was very young I was in my 20s and this elderly woman was admitted to the nursing home where I worked, and she kept telling her daughter if you leave me here, I will be dead before dinner. About two hours past and I took her dinner tray into her and she was sitting on her recliner dead!!! oh, that was an experience that I carry with me to this day. I have seen lots of lots of deaths and have many stories on death but the very fact that she literally said that and it happened just as she said it would.
My father-in-law definitely chose when to die. His wife and children all took turns sitting with him day and night, so there was never a time when there wasn't at least one of them in the room. Finally, my mother-in-law needed to speak privately with all their children, so they left me and another spouse with him while they stepped outside to have their meeting. He stopped breathing less than 10 minutes after they left the room. Fortunately, they made it back by his side before his heart stopped. It was very important to them to be there to see him off. I guess he just couldn't bear to leave while they were in the room.
I was doing private today on the night shift for a lady in the hospital. When morning came in I got ready to leave. I told her I’ll see you tonight, she then thanked me for taking care of her and said, “ no you won’t need to come tonight I’m not going to be here.”.
My father waited until all his children traveled to him and were able to say their good byes. One by one people went to their hotels and then he died. My mom waited for everyone to be out of the room. She was very independent and I don't think she wanted anyone to see her die. They both went very quietly.
My older sister passed away from brain cancer. I was with her all day Saturday. Just watching her and playing a Johnnie Mathas CD. I started clearing up things and had my purse on my shoulder to leave. I called her house and spoke with her youngest daughter. I said I have to go I can't stay here. I turned to go out the door, and a young women in a wheel blocked the door. She said i just wanted to visit Carol. I stepped towards her and wispered you know she is dieing. She talked and talked. I turned to look at my sister and she clutched her hand. I said she never did that before. I lost it and started yelling for a nurse. I think my sister heard me on the phone with her daughter an then she decided to go.
Thank you for what you do for our loved ones. I was the primary caregiver for my mom who in the last week of her life was in hospice. She had small cell lung cancer that had moved to her brain, bones etc. I had spent every hour I could (I had a career) with her. The night before she passed i had to go home so I could go to work the next day. At 4 AM the next morning I received the call that she passed & I had SO much guilt. The people at the hospice clinic said that was normal & they see that often. The patients have to be left alone & many pass once the family leaves the room.
On the day my mother passed, she was at the hospital while my dad was getting chemo at another facility. Normally I would take him to chemo, but on this day, my brother took him so that I could be at the hospital with my mother. So my sister and I were at my mother’s bedside when it became obvious that she was rapidly declining. We called the facility where my dad was getting chemo, they unhooked him so he could get to the hospital. At this point my mother’s breaths were slowing down. My sister sang my mother’s favorite song…Ave Maria. Once she sang the last note, we told my mom it was ok to let go, and she breathed her last. Unfortunately my dad and brother weren’t there and got there about 20 minutes after.
I absolutely believe this. My nana died at home on hospice, and once all of her 5 kids (and me, the 1st grandchild) were gathered around her, I told her she could go, and she did. My MIL died a few mo ago, she waited until her daughter woke up in the middle of the night and then my SIL gave her permission to go (also on hospice). I have also seen this in the hospital in my own nursing career.
My Grandmother and my Mom waited for everyone to leave. Waiting for me to be with them. Within, a hour of people leaving the room they both died. It was an honor to be there for them.
My sweet mama was on hospice care for lung cancer just 6 months ago. The hospice nurse was pretty convinced that mom was showing all the signs and that she may very well pass that Wednesday. My whole family came and we would trickle into the room a few of us at a time. She was not conscious and so peaceful as hours turned to days, in fact she stayed with us until that Sunday evening April 23, 2023, her birthday. It had been a beautiful day, we had balloons, and cake, my sisters, daughter and granddaughter were there, and although she was unaware of the celebration we were having, her spirit knew. I truly believe that my dear mother waited to go home on the very day that she came into the world. It was an incredible gift to all of us and a precious sign that she was okay and in the arms of Jesus.
I watch videos of NDE or Near Death Experience. A lot of people have come forward and told their stories. Most are pleasant experiences and death is nothing to fear.
Yes, my grandmother wanted for everyone to get there. It was a peaceful death. Mother inlaw did the same. My husband and I came all the way from LA to Texas and she passed about 20 minutes after we got there.
My mother had been really struggling with terminal myelofibrosis for many many years. 10 years ago marked many important events for our family and she made it through the last, her oldest granddaughter’s wedding at the beginning of November. Thanksgiving day my husband and I took her to the ER. She was admitted. We knew she’d never come home. She was particularly close to my only child who was in Europe. I called her home because we knew. The day she arrived she crawled into bed with her Noni and the next day Mom passed. She waited until we all were there. Her kidlets, as she referred to us all. I still cry thinking about it.
This happened 12 months ago tomorrow, 18 th July 2022, my best friend of 30 years was admitted to hospital, her brother went to visit and said he would go back in a couple of days and she said no, Im dying, and she was gone within a few hours, she knew 😢
Well I did make this comment on another video I think...I am binging hospice Julie right now. My mother in law used almost exactly the same words this women used and in the same order. She was lucid, happy, and stated those words. Went home from hospital with hospice, to walk into her bedroom and die within the hour!!! Amazing, beautiful how it ended.
My grandmother in law was not going to pay for another month in the hospital…..she was admitted in the beginning of October from a fall….she was 98. She worked hard for her money. She died late 10/31.
My Aunt made me wonder this. She went out to eat on Friday and then Sunday she was going to go drive somewhere and she just couldn’t do it. Her best friend said to her maybe your ready to check out. Then it was only a couple days when she died after she laid in bed and her family came to see her. I was so shocked how sudden it was. My mother, her last living sister, died only 2 months before her.
My father lay on his death bed from a Tuesday to a Saturday- we knew it was soon his breaths were down to the slightest HUH and I stopped counting when they were three minutes apart. The nurse on duty was a guy named Lou and he was wonderful but also very brash and I personally hoped he wouldn’t be there when the time came. The rest of the family showed up about an hour before Lou’s shift change. A new lovely young sweet smelling nurse arrived and did her cross referencing with Lou and he left. The air of nervousness disappeared replaced by the smell of flowers and Dad passed about 10 minutes later and it was the young nurse that called it from the other side of the room. I don’t know how she knew but I looked into his eyes and knew she was right. I believe he held on for hours to avoid Lou being there.
Absolutely 100% correct. As an Oncology RN for 20 years , I saw these 3 scenarios repeatedly , I always loved it when they waited for everyone to be there and/or accepting that death was coming…. I truly had some amazing and beautiful experiences …♥️♥️♥️
I was with my mother when she died. The last thing she said was "I want to go home and don't tell me I'm already there, you know what I mean. So I said okay you can go and she stopped breathing a couple of minutes later.
((hugs))
😢
My former father-in-law had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He picked his “death” day 6 months prior to his passing. He said that was the day his mother had died, and he would be doing the same. The afternoon of the day he had picked, he wanted us all to gather with him. He was completely lucid, and although very thin, he didn’t look close to death. At 11:30 pm, I told home it was looking like he was going to be with us a little longer, and he told me it wasn’t midnight yet, and there was still time. At 11:45pm that night, he took his last breath.
Crazy! I hope to be in that much control
@@cherylweso me too
How about being able to live longer , anyone have stories about people willing themselves to stay alive longer?
The doctor had a chat with a man with cancer talking about his good life and many accomplishments on Friday of a long weekend not expecting to see him again. The following week a dear friend, a nurse, asked him what was holding him back. He said he wanted to visit his summer home a 5 hour drive away. She explained what he needed to do to prepare for such a strenuous event. He did it all and spent 2 days there with many friends visiting him. He returned to the hospital and died 2 days later. He had a funeral and 2 memorial services in 3 cities in 3 provinces.
My mom had stage four cancer my entire pregnancy. I was two states away on bed rest for most it it, and the last few months she wasn’t able to communicate much. When my daughter was born her caretaker told her, she blinked and smiled, then just a few minutes after midnight she died. I believe she waited that extra time so my daughters birthday would not be her grandmothers death anniversary.
My grandmother was terminally ill with cancer and they gave her 4 months to live. My high graduation was 6 months later, and so she willed herself to survive the extra time. She attended my graduation, and then I went to my grad night party, came home the next day, and she and I had a brief conversation about how I was doing and what my plans were for the future. And then she wanted to sleep. We found her dead the next morning having died during the night. She completed all she had to do and now she could go.
Wow! She must've been such a wonderful person. I can totally believe she hung in there just because she loved you so much💕
Sounds like she really loved you.
I am an RN and worked as the director on an oncology floor for 10 years. I developed a passion for end of life care and have many stories. This story relates to your story about how a person might choose or influence the time they die. We had a patient with terminal cancer. She had been a patient on my floor many times. For many reasons, in-home hospice care was not an option for her. One night she had an unscheduled admission and it looked as though she was close to death. She had three adult children who were constantly at her bedside. They stayed the night and the next day she had transitioned to a state of actively dying. Her son came to the the nurse's station and said his mom was restless and starting to groan and he asked us to medicate her. My charge nurse got the opiate prescribed for her and walked into her room. She told the three adult children that due to her condition the injection of an opiate may hasten her death . All three children agreed it was the right thing to do as they did not want their mother's final hours on this planet to be painful. The IV opiate was administered. About an hour later, the son came back to the nurse's station and said "it didn't work". I asked him what didn't work, he said she got the injection but she is still breathing. As I was explaining to him our intent was not to give her a fatal dose of medication, etc. etc. my charge nurse went back into the room. Me and the son followed her. She looked each of the three adult children in the eye and asked each of them, one at at time...are you ready for your mom to die? They each responded with a tearful yes. Then she took the patient by the hand and said softly in her ear, she called her by name and said your children are here with you. They don't want you to suffer any more. If you see the light...walk into the light. She took her last breath and died.
Omg. I'm bawling. The charge nurse knew. 💕
Oh my the children seem heartless. Wanting their mother to die. 😢😢
@@bethhelton3923 They did not want their mother to suffer anymore and they recognized that this was her time. 'Tis heartless to assume otherwise.
Each one of us has to answer to God. Just hope the mother was ready to go into eternity. Myself I could never rush anyone's death. My parents are deceased, it will be my turn next. I just took myself off hospice as I want to live as long as God allows. Also, believe in having ones priest give last rites. Of course many don't have a belief.
@@bethhelton3923 They loved her too much to wish her suffering. Let go, many times, is the most pure form of love
So an update on Dad. He wanted a fish fry today. He was sitting in his recliner. I just saw this video on my feed. I think he is waiting until everyone goes home tonight. He's stubborn as a mule sometimes. It wouldn't surprise me that he wanted to see everyone today.❤
My grandpa was the same way. He waited until EVERYONE left and went quick.
@@SpiritSeekersIL The same happened with my dad. He was in hospice for 5 days and I was with him every night just to make sure he was comfortable. My mom told me that she wanted me to come home and get proper rest because she said that she could tell that I exhausted. My dad died the night that I went home to get rest. I was so angry with my mom because I really wanted to be with my dad when he transitioned. When I told this story to others they all said the same thing. Dad wanted to be alone when he left. Knowing that did not give me any comfort. For a long time I was bitter. Now I understand and respect his decision.
@@lea-analowery4585Same happened with my dad. There was someone with him 24/7, in hospitals, rehabs, and at home. We brought him back to the hospital to treat an infection and the nurse told Mom and me to go home, to finally get some rest, as he was comfortably asleep. He passed away that one night when we weren't next to him.
Twenty years ago, my dad was in the hospital and we weren't quite sure how long Dad was going to hold on. My sister traveled back to upstate New York (a five and a half hour drive) when the hospital staff said that Dad's breathing was getting shallower and that things were not looking too well. We called my sister who literally turned around and drove five and half hours back to the hospital, arriving at about 12 midnight. My sister came in and we all surrounded Dad and he took his last breath at 12:04. I just knew he waited until his "little girl" got there! What an honor to be with him. Five years later, as my mother took her last breath, I held the cell phone to my mom's ear so she could listen to my oldest brother talk with her while he made a mad dash through the hospital corridor getting to the room. When he stepped into the room and we all held her, she passed. Another beautiful experience that I am so honored to have been a part of.
My brother-in-laws mom was terminal with breast cancer. There had been many close calls, but this was the one. All family members were gathered in Iowa where dear Lois was from, only one was missing, my brother-in-law, her son, from Los Angeles. He was doing everything to get there before she passed! And that woman hung on!! It was beautiful! She passed shortly after Rick arrived. A mother's love!❤
This one really got me. Thank you for sharing. ((hugs))
My dad did the same. He was dying of cancer and I was 9 months pregnant living across the nation. He hung on long enough for me to have the baby, recover a week then I was able to go. I got there, showed him the baby and said goodbye. He died that night
@jeanniearnold6726 He was able to meet his grandchild!! ❤️
My mom didn’t want any of us 5 children to be with her when she died. She watched my dad die 6 weeks before her and didn’t like how his mouth stayed open like he was screaming, and didn’t want us to see that. It was like you said, we went to get coffee, and all of us just happened to not be in the room. That is when she passed. She was very introverted and independent, like you said. It shocked us, but we feel that she went on her terms.
My dad was a very outgoing guy who everyone loved.
We decided somehow to have a party before he got too sick. He was pretty sick!
At the party we were talking and he said, “I’m going to be just fine by Monday!”.
He died on Monday.
💗💗💗💗💗
Hi Julie,
Really enjoy your channel. And, yes I know we can choose when we pass. My Mom passed a couple of years ago. She was in a hospice facility with excellent care. Mom went into hospice in a coma that that was a result of a fall. Mom was there a few days and we were able to visit 24/7. On the third day when I left, I told her if she had to leave before I came back in the morning then I would see her when I “get home” . No calls over night so I got ready and went earlier than usual. I walked in and the first thing I did is check her breathing and kiss her. I went to the other side of the bed to put down my bag and came back and she had passed within seconds of me arriving. It was a gift.
Aww, your mom wanted one last hug and kiss from you. That is a very sweet story. You were definitely privileged.❤
My grandmother was dying of CHF but had rallied several times. Each time she was calm and conscious, she’d see dead relatives. (My sister kept saying, “Make them go away. You stay here with us!”) My mom, sister and I discussed whether we wanted to be with her when she passed. I said no. My mom said yes. My sister said, I want to be at the hospital but not in the room. One day after work, I stopped off to get dinner before going to the hospital. Five minutes before I entered the room, my grandmother passed away. My mom was in the room with her. My sister had left the room momentarily to go to the bathroom. We all got our wish. (Still miss you, G.)
I'm a retired veterinarian. I had an experience like what you're describing, only the dying patient was a family's cat. It was clear the beloved cat was nearing the end of its life. The family wanted to do all they could to make the last days/hours as comfortable as possible. They obviously figured they'd be there at the dying, but the kitty chose a time when no one was home to peacefully leave life. It really struck me because of the deep disappointment of the human family members. The kitty loved her family, but I think she wanted the peace and quiet of being by herself before she left her body.
Beautiful.
I have a lot of respect for veterinarians. That is a fascinating story.
that would be me. I don't think I want anyone around - just want to peaceably slip away without being around anyone else's emotions.
Agree.
My brother told us at the beginning of the week he was going to die at the end of the week. He had terminal cancer and was not expected to live, the doctors told us it may be a few weeks. The day before he died his vitals were normal. The next morning was Saturday I arrived and the aide said his nose was bleeding, the nurse checked his vitals and his blood pressure was really low. The nurse called hospice to come check on him. I called my sister to come as he was transitioning. While I was waiting I told him I told him I loved him and I would see him soon, as I believe time is very different in heaven and although many years could pass before I joined him it would be a moment to him. My sister arrived and we held his hands and the time between breaths increased until he didn’t take another breath. It was so peaceful,no struggle, at-last he was no longer in pain.
Yes! My mom was able to wake up from being unconscious, had a very short rally to say her goodbyes, say she wanted to go on to hospice and not fight anymore. She slipped back into unconscious while watching a TH-cam video with me of a game my sister and I used to play as kids. Mom waited until the playthrough ended and the credits.rolled to pass away. I even jokingly asked her (while she was unconscious) if she was waiting until the video ended. ❤️. I miss her so much, but that memory is so sweet. I will always treasure it.
No
My dad died on July 4, 1999. He was an Episcopal priest, and he was ordained priest on July 4, 1953. He died at the same hour he was ordained. I believe he chose that day and that hour.
In late June of 2006, my mother was intubated and in ICU. The doctors decided to take the tube out to see if she could breathe on her own, but it quickly became apparent that she was struggling, but she did not want to be intubated again. My sister was with her, and when they had a quiet moment, she asked her, "What's the date?" My sister answered, "July 4." Mom got a determined look on her face and said, "I am NOT going to die on the same day as your father!" Soon after that she lapsed into her final coma. She died on July 7, not July 4.
My sister and I talked about this the other day, and she pointed out that this "choosing" seems to be a matter of letting go. People in that situation don't *choose* to die. It's more like they chose not to live any longer, and they let go of life.
When my grandad passed he called all of us sons and grandsons aside and told us how he was proud of the men we had become. He was a stubborn man that rarely gave compliments, so I'll never forget his last words to us. He looked at my dad and uncles and said "I'm going to get to hug my mother." He was gone a few minutes later.
This one got me. Thank you for sharing this with us. ((big hugs))
A very powerful experience. How amazing.
I do believe we can choose our time. I believe my father was being visited by my mother on New Years Eve- he was talking to someone and shaking his head no. He loved getting his social security check and I believe he was waiting for that on January 1. On January 1 the hospice nurse stopped by, he spoke with both of us, I walked her to the door and when I went back to dad he was gone. He was always a very independent person ❤
Wow that’s amazing. My dad recently passed and was talking to people by his bedside. I wish I’d asked who
My stepfather, who was an introvert, waited in hospice until I was able to travel to him. I arrived on a Wednesday. I think he was also waiting for his friend Betty who was supposed to travel from Tonga to see him. But she called that next day, Thursday, to say she couldn't come because the king of Tonga had died and the whole country was locked down. It was out of her hands, and my stepfather accepted that. He then waited until we were all out of the room to get coffee and died. So he both waited for his visitors and then chose to die alone in peace. When you said introverts tend to do that, I had a real AHA moment! He wanted to say goodbye but then have privacy.
Do any if the hospice pts not have their priest with them at death? No last rites?
My mother was on a vent for several days when my sister made the decision to remove her from it.
We expected her to die quickly. She had agreed to be placed on the vent but we discussed with her and the Dr's when to remove her from the vent before she went on it. We asked that she be made comfortable and she was unconscious all of the time
I am so glad that we did, because it is such a hard decision to make.
We stayed at the hospital overnight the first night. All day the 2nd day but went home that night as she was stable. On the 3rd day, the Dr started talking to us about hospice as she could not remain in the CCU.
She died about 2 hrs after we left. I always felt badly she was alone, but she was stable when we left and the resident said she had checked on her about 1/2 hour before she died and she was stable then too.
She slipped quietly away.
Julie, our good friend chose to die the day after the Fourth of July. He was a real patriot, one of his fav holidays, and he wanted to have his last meal with his wife, son, grandchild and close friends. He did it his way! Love your videos!
Thank you for doing these videos.
You are helping me with my husband and the cancer diagnosis we got recently.
Sorry about your husband. I recently got diagnosed with cancer too. 💙
@@iSheree I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.
It's just not easy to deal with and I personally am having an extremely hard time dealing with it all.
Thank you for your reply.
@Bbblueyes333 thank you for trying to help people have choices! I am stage 4 NSCLC and I am using the protocol, thankfully a friend told me about it when I was diagnosed! The Drs gave me 90 days maximum to live and I am her 5 years later! Everyone has an opinion so no need to apologize, instead of being rude to you the person could have scrolled on by! ❤️
@Bbblueyes333my close friend's dad had pancreatic cancer with a month left to life, per doctors. His wife researched a dog de-wormer and the cancer cells rapidly decreased for a while. The meds gave him an extra couple of years, mostly pain free. Some appreciate your thoughts. 😊
@Bbblueyes333not all people feel this way, so keep passing your information to others, it very well may help someone.. my father passed from angiosarcoma Thanksgiving of this past year and we tried several things… obviously they didn’t work for him but may work for someone else
My grandmother-in-law was a nurse. At 90, her daughter came to town to tour nursing homes. Unbeknownst to her, Nana told me she would never go into a nursing home. They both toured one and the daughter told me Nana was agreeable. The next day, Nana died as I knew she chose to because she told me what she wouldn't tell anyone else.
I have seen all of what you spoke about in my years as a nurse. I warned families of all of them. I especially told them that if they say they are going to die today/tonight/tomorrow, believe them!
My father had terminal esophageal cancer. He ran his own business and one morning either knew or decided this was his last day. He gave instructions on winding up the business as he progressively lost feeling in legs, was taken to the hospital where he refused the nasal oxygen, took his wife's hand, and died. No hours or days of Cheyenne-Stokes breathing, no death rattle, simply yielded peacefully.
💗💗💗💗💗💗
Thanks so much for sharing! I’m currently experiencing end of life anxiety! I love your videos so much because they help me to understand what is actually taking place during this process, may god continue to bless you😇👍🏽.
Many hugs and prayers for peace, strength, and comfort.
God bless you and keep you.
💕hugs
Don’t worry the day of your death will be more wonderful than the day of your birth.
Ok, why does hospice use the word " transition " had never heard it used before. We die, not transition. That sounds like a new age word to me.
My father in law told us he was not going to be here for Christmas he was tired. 2 weeks before Christmas, he passed away peacefully in his sleep. It was such a beautiful way to go.
Hello how are you doing?
Hi
Yes! My father waited for his 75th birthday. He died on his birthday and he was very proud and indeed waited until I left to get his meal to transition.
My Grandma waited until everyone left to pass in her sleep.She had heart failure due to COPD and she went to take a nap and passed. She had people that morning. Before she was put in assisted living she was independant and was still pretty independant when she passed. She just did not want to live alone anymore and did not want to bother with living with family so she chose assisted living.
I had a very good friend in her eighties, a Dominican sister, who suddenly was in heart failure. The nurse practitioner, everyone was urging her to go to the hospital for treatment. When I arrived she told me she didn’t want to go to the hospital and go through all that. I told her you don’t have to go; you can do anything you want. She was so relieved and thanked me for saying that to her. Over the next few months I kept visiting and it was hard watching her decline. But she did it her way. Before her illness I used to take her out to eat and she’d want Burger King. She’d write down the ingredients for me, so I’d ordered it for her that way. She lived and died her way.
Thank you Julie for creating this forum to share our stories of death and dying. ❤️
My dad died last june 14th. I had some conversations with him prior about dying. He said that he was done with life and because of his kidney and heart faillure he didn't really have much quality of life. So i thought that when the moment was there he would be at peace because he would get some rest. Instead what we got was my dad fighting for 14 hours in pure fear of dying. Worst thing i ever saw. I'm at peace with my dad dying because strangely it's better for him but seeing him fighting for 14 hours sitting by his side is something i can't shake. He didn't choose to die i think but he for sure knew it was coming. My grandmother seemed to have waited for me to go before she died. We sat in shifts at her bedside for 3 days and i went to pick up my other grandparents to come visit my grandmother which took me like 10 to 15 minutes. When i got back and parked my car i saw my dad standing at the entrance of the facility she stayed in and i knew it already happened.
On Super Bowl Sunday I spent the day at a trauma hospital where my brother was admitted after falling from a piece of equipment and breaking his neck and then having a stroke. When I returned home my husband who was ill as a result of Agent Orange, sat and talked about my brother's condition. My husband looked at me and said "I don't want you to get involved with your brother's care". As a nurse I had always been the caregiver in the family. I said to him that I hoped he didn't think that my helping my brother would take away from the care I gave him because he would always be my first priority. He said that that wouldn't be the case. At 1/2 time he went to bed and that was the last time we spoke. Days later he passed. I have always thought that he chose or knew when he would die. I also took care of my mother in the same time period - and she chose Mother's Day - because her best friend was coming to see her the next day and I think she didn't want her to see her in that condition.
Hello Janie
I use to work in a retirement home and we had this resident that started having health issues and needed to go to a nursing home. He was adamant he was not leaving and fought to stay where he was. He said the only way he’ll leave is when he dies. He did pass at the retirement home a few days before his transfer to the nursing home. The human will is amazing.
🩵🩵🩵
My Nana 100% knew when she was going to die. I was out of town staying with my Aunt (her daughter) for a work trip and I was supposed to drive home late Sunday night. My Nana called me and insisted that I stay one more night and drive home Monday instead of late Sunday and I agreed. And on Sunday night when her caretaker was putting her to bed my Nana told her “You don’t need to come over tomorrow dear, I won’t be here.” She passed on Monday morning and she orchestrated everything so my Aunt would not be alone when she received the news that she had passed since I stayed the extra night with her and was still there.
Beautiful.💕
Thank you for this video!
My Dad died December 1st 2022. He had Dementia but in the last couple of months before passing he often spoke to dead relatives close to him, especially his Mother, whom he was very close to.
During his stay at Hospital just a day before passing, he lifted his arms as if hugging someone. I believe he chose to go later on in the early morning.
Yes, I have witnessed people choosing when to die.
I have no idea how they can control that move as, yes, part of the life cycle.
My father took the family dog for a drive every late afternoon at the same time. One day, my mother heard him tell the dog it would be the last time he would take him for a drive. That evening, he died of a heart attack.
Another story: Winston Churchill fought his final illness for weeks and then gave up the fight for survival. He died on the sixtieth anniversary of his father's death.
I absolutely believe you can choose when you die. I was with my mom years ago visiting my grandparents in Florida. Mom and I would go at least once a year to cook some meals to freeze for them, clean the house and also a nice long visit ❤️. My grandmother ( 86 years old) was fine for the 2 weeks we were visiting, the night before she said how much she hated to see us go but laid out her clothes for the trip to the airport the next day to see us off. When I went to wake her next morning for breakfast she had died in her sleep! Traumatic for us but what a wonderful way to go. I think about that a lot and how nice that she was home and with people she loved after a wonderful visit😊❤️
You are a treasure trove of information. Please keep making these educational videos, the substance of the information you provide removes a lot of the mystery of what everyone has questions about.
I had a person that was at my work decide that she had enough and stopped eating and drinking on her own. The person did this twice.The first they sent them to the hospital and got them treatment and convinced the person to keep going. The second time the family understood and let the person go. They passed a couple weeks later and it was peaceful.
My mom died with only me with her. My step dad was home but outside with my mom's brother. I had been up and down all night as she was in her hospice bed in the living room. The hospice nurse was hired for nights from 10-6 and I took turns with my aunt and a niece...but at this time I'd been administering her morphine and anxiety meds. The nurse changed her and mom said her back hurt so much so I rubbed a topical cream into her back and gave her pain meds before the night nurse left. After this, I checked her oxygen and it was at 48. I gave her a breathing treatment and it came back up to 94. COPD. I knew she was tired and I whispered in her ear that I loved her and it's okay if she needed to go. I had been praying for her to die peacefully and thank God that the house wasn't full of people. She looked peaceful. She was breathing still and not in any pain. So I decided to lay down on the couch. But I kept watching her stomach rise and fall with each breath. Then
After about 20 minutes, something told me to look and I watched her take her last breath. I went to her bed and sat next to her and then, I remember looking up at the ceiling because I've heard so many ppl tell their NDE,'s and their soul floats up to the ceilings in many accounts. So that's why I looked up and I said, " see you later mom. I love you forever." It was our own private and special moment. She was there as I took my first breath, and I was there when she took her last and I feel so blessed that she let me be there. Then I got my stepdad and uncle, told them she is gone, and one last time to be sure, I put the monitor on her finger and it was zero. So I turned off the oxygen and took the oxygen contraption out of her nose and called hospice. I miss my mom. Two years later, to the day, my stepdad was on hospice, again I was one of his caregivers with his daughter and my son who helped. He called for my mom because he said he saw her in the living room while he was in the bedroom. That's when I knew he was going to die. And he died on my son's watch. We'd just gotten his hospice bed the day before . But my son was devastated bcz he fell asleep and woke up to his grandpa who passed away. He shouldn't feel bad but it really hurt him to lose grandpa.
Thanks for the platform. I've learned a lot. Tomorrow, I turn 60 and I'll be thinking of my mom who gave me life...well, God did, but my mom carried me for 9 months and took care of me so I am glad I could do the same for her. This is an honor. God bless!
What a beautiful story and outlook!! It was an HONOR to be a caregiver to my Mom while she was sick and dying, and yes, I was there when she passed peacefully. ((big hugs, Deborah))
Hello Deborah
The night that my mother died in the hospital (age 93); the entire family had been keeping vigil with her for days. My dad; her husband of 75 years and with dementia; was with her also. When she chose to die, my dad and my youngest brother had gone for food. Those of us remaining in her room were able to cope???? I truly believe that she chose to die at this time. I might add....the day before she died, she opened her eyes wide after being non-communicative. My dad and I were the only ones sitting with her at that time. She opened her eyes wide, smiled so brightly, and pointed to a high place in the room. She then said to me, "Look! look! tell dad! tell dad to look!" I will NEVER forget those precious moments because I know that she was guided and in control of how her death was going to play out. She was not going to traumatize her husband and her youngest son who was already not able to deal with what was happening.
Hello Valerie
My 3 siblings and I stood vigil around my Dads hospital bed when he was dying. One of the nurses said we might as well go home and they’d call if there were any changes. After many hours we all left to either go home or back to my parents house and he passed. I truly feel he didn’t want us all there when he passed ❤
I had the same experience when my Dad passed away about five years ago. He was generally a quiet man who didn't want anyone to make a fuss over him. An hour after my mom, brother and I left the hospital after being with him all day, the ICU nurse called us and said he was gone.
@@Laststopny2741 ❤❤
My father lay dying for 2 days, very restless and uneasy. Mother and I left the room to get a bite to eat and he died within 5 minutes. He was a proud, independent man and I think he did not want us to see him go.....
Yes, my hubby died day after his birthday as he had wanted to die in the same week as his father did and a brother that had passed many years ago. No matter what,I was still shocked; and yes I had left the room to sip on my coffee and went back into the bedroom to check on him as he was unconscious for 2 days, he was gone. Thank you for doing these videos, had really educated me and helped me more than expected.
I do believe my wife passed while I was in the bathroom to keep me from seeing her last breath
She knew how that memory would be etched in my mind and I believe it was an act of true love on her part keeping me from that awful moment
That night is still a terrible memory
My sister had struggled with cancer for 10 years. One day she said to my dad that she was so tired and that she wanted to die. After everyone that she wanted to see arrived she took her last breath. I do believe people can choose when to die since I’ve see. It too. My dad sat at my moms side for weeks in the hospital and one night he decided to go home to shower and the minute he got home he got a call from the hospital that she passed. I don’t think my dad could have handled seeing my mom take her last breath so she waited until he left. My aunt was in the hospital dying and she wanted to see her only estranged son and the family finally convinced him to come see her and the minute she saw him she passed. So yes I do believe people can decide when to die. ❤️❤️❤️. Thank you for all the work you fo. Working in hospice is never easy. God bless. ❤️❤️
Actually, now that I think about it, my mother passed away a week after I spent the night with her. My mum even said in that week to her mum, (,my grandma), that she had the most lovliest time together and yea, a week later she died. My mum's illness was kidney failure and I remember the last couple of years she said she's had enough. After everything she went through, I would rather have her on the other side, happy and no pain compared to being on this Earth and in pain. 🙏
My Grandmother told my aunts that she was going home on the next Tuesday to be with Octave who was her deceased husband my grandfather they told her he had passed years before and they were starting to wonder if she had unknowingly had dementia but she still insisted she was and the hospital hadn't given her a discharge date, and when I went to visit her she told me the same thing and i said well ok Gramma, and I'll be darned if she didn't pass on the following Tuesday.
Hello how are you doing friend
Hi
My dad did the waiting on someone death. All his kids, step kids and brothers & sisters were there except me because they all lived in Alabama but I had moved to Arkansas, so naturally they all assumed he was waiting for me to get into town.
When I got there he was laying in his hospital bed at his home, he was smiling and talking to anyone who came in to see him. We each took a turn and went in his room to say our goodbyes. Afterward the ambulance was called to take him on to the hospital. Everyone thought he would pass on as soon as we got him to the hospital because I was finally there but he didn't! He laid in the hospital for three more days. Finally his preacher, who had been doing a revival in another town, came to his room and asked to pray with all of us. We all gathered around daddy (I was suctioning the secretions from his throat) and the minute the preacher started praying daddy's secretion started turning red with blood. It wasn't me he was waiting on it was his preacher!! Before the prayer was over daddy finally let go and went to Heaven to be with with his Maker!!
I wish Tennessee had the law the right assistance to die
That may have been the case with my Dad who died at the VA in the hospice unit. My sister and I sat with him during the day for the three weeks he was there. The day he died we both were there and my sister left to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen at the end of the hallway. She must have been gone 3 minutes. His breathing changed just after she left the room. I called the nurse and she checked his pulse and said “where is your sister?” I’m getting her. Just then my sister walked in the room. She could tell something was up and the nurse told her that he was gone. Three minutes tops!
My mother in law was dying. She waited until my husband, her youngest son, returned from overseas. He went to the hospital. Once they had a quiet talk, she died. It took him 4 days to return to US.
I was a certified oncology nurse who did chemotherapy infusions for many years. We did witness this phenomenon several times. Patients wanting to see the birth of a grandchild happened a few times.
My dad was a double-waiter! He waited for me to travel several hours to reach him, and ALSO waited for me to leave the room before dying. I was okay with that-it was his choice. So much power gets taken away from the elderly or sick over time, so this he could control, and it seemed right. I had sat with him, assured him I would take care of the things I knew meant the most to him, and told him I’d be in the next room and would not leave. He died minutes later. I’m grateful I was able to be with each of my parents when they passed. It’s not for everyone I guess, but for me it was important somehow, and I worried about it a lot. My prayers in that regard were heard and answered.
I absolutely believe people wait for the right time to die. I know that my stepmother wanted me to be there for my dad when she died. So she waited until I got there and just over 24 hours later, she died. She originally waited to see her grandson graduate, but then she knew I was coming to town later. So she waited. I am so thankful for that.
My grandfather was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. He was 92 and didn’t want any treatment. He tolerated the transition from home to the hospital where he shared the room with another man. He then needed to be transferred to a nursing home since he was not seeking treatment. I saw him the next day after the transfer. He told me that he hated the home and they would find him dead soon. During that night he died peacefully.
I hate nursing homes too
My dad was born on April fools day (he called it a holiday) he told me he was born on a holiday and he was going to leave this world on a holiday. He was true to his word he passed Christmas Eve 2013.
Yes. I have seen something like this a few times and heard of it, too. My former neighbor's grandmother was in her 90s and in reasonably good health. They had a family reunion on a Friday night. Everyone was there, even her son who lived in Alaska (this was in Minnesota). Saturday morning, the grandmother got up, sat down in the rocking chair and died. My mother waited until I left to die - I think to spare me. I had been with her all day, but she waited to die until I was gone. The nurse called me as soon as I walked in my door. When I got back to the hospital, she was gone. I also heard of a relative years ago who seemed to be in good health but got up one day and insisted his wife drive him to the hospital. As soon as they got him into a room, he died. I also had another relative whose husband did not die until she said he could - he'd begged her to let him go previously, and she didn't. As soon as she said it was okay, he died.
My mother died of a hospital MRSA infection and was in an isolation ICU for approximately 6 weeks. I virtually lived at the hospital and only went home once a day to shower and change my clothes during times when she was asleep or having tests. Otherwise, I slept in the ICU family room and even had a little home under a desk. One day she rallied and stabliized and I asked a nurse if she thought I was safe to go home and sleep in my own bed. The nurse said to me, "You need to go do something with that hair." So I left the hospital, stopped on my way home for a hair cut, and slept in my own bed, Early the following morning I got "the call" that I needed to return to the hospital. Her lungs had collapsed. During the night they had moved her to another ICU on another floor and I got lost in the huge hospital hallways trying to find her. (I am dyslexic.) I heard them calling her doctor's name and Code Blue over the speaker and I was frantic. When I finally found her room they had just pronounced her and the doctors were walking out of the room. I was too late. It wasn't until several years later that I heard about this phenomena of waiting to be alone to die but she had it timed down to the minute! Also, she had told me of several instances where she was out chatting with other people around the hospital, in the waiting room, etc. when she had never been out of her bed. On the morning of her death I was sitting outside the hospital having a cigarette while waiting for my sister and brothers to show up when I very clearly heard her say to me, "You need to stop those cigarettes, look what happened to me." She KNEW I was there!
It's been 27 years and I just figured out the symbol of "the waiting room."
I believe my Mom did. She was on hospice and Mom had remarked that she would have loved to have one more big family dinner which at the time was 23 of us. On her final day, the hospice nurse said we were probably within 24 hours. We all headed "home " to say goodbye. Children, grandchildren and great grandchildren all said their goodbyes. My sister in law ordered Chinese food for all of us as we gathered at Mom's. We sat down around the table for "one last family dinner. As we were clearing the plates, the CNA with her came out to tell us she had passed. She got her family dinner. ❤
My husbands grandmother waited for everyone, including the daughter she disliked very much to drive from California to NW Washington (almost to the Canadian border). As soon as she got there she declined quite rapidly and was gone in less than 1/2 hour. My mother in law - we got her home and she passed 12-1/2 hours later after all the grandkids came and her cat was bedside the entire time❤. We worked hard to get her home!! Yes, I believe people know.
Both my parents were really family centered and both waited until we figured out that we wanted all of their children in the room together. We had been sitting vigil for days so that someone would be there when they died. The hospice people suggested that maybe they wanted to be alone. Definitely not. We all had to be there together seated around them and holding their hands and telling them we loved them. Then they went quickly. Both times the feeling was so loving.
A week before my mom died, she told my aunt what flowers she wanted at her funeral. All week she readied herself. She had my sister put a perm in her hair. She was lovely. On Friday night she had a slight heart attack, but laughed it off. Wouldn't go to the ER. Said she had a doctor appointment on Monday. On Sunday afternoon at 5:20 she drew her last breath. She was only 61 years old! I was shocked. That's when my aunt showed me her Bible where she had put the information about the flowers. She thought it would be years before she'd need it. I realized mom knew she was dying. I was so glad that the last thing I said to her before I left that Sunday afternoon was I love you. I'll see you tomorrow. I did. But not as I expected. It was at the funeral home. ❤ It's been 36 years since she died. I still miss her. ❤
((big hugs))
On the morning of my Dad's last day, I had a strong feeling that I had to be with him that day and not stray too far away.
I held his hand and played music throughout the day and although he was sedated and eyes closed and not visibly responsive. I told him throughout the day that it was up to him when he wanted to go be with God and Grammy and telling him I loved him very much.
At 6 p.m. , I stepped out in the hall to talk to the nurse. Crying , I asked her if there was anymore they could do because he was in so many times over the past few years for a tuneup and continued on living. She said, I'm sorry but not this time.
I had only been out in the hall away from my Dad for no more then 30 seconds and the nurse said she was going to go in to check on him.
When she went in, she turned straight back around and said : Your Dad passed.
Did he have a part in this after me telling him that I wanted him to choose when he goes? And perhaps he knew in the long run, that it would be easier on me?
I will never truly know for sure until I cross over, but it sure felt like the way the day played out that my Dad and God played a role in the way that he went on that day.❤
My mother's best friend died like that first example. She supposedly had another few weeks, but her son was going back home the next day. And my mom was there. She checked on that, and was gone within the hour.
Both my dad and an uncle chose when they were going to go. My uncle was home alone as his wife was away visiting their daughter. My uncle asked his brother (another uncle) if he could stay at his house that night, very odd request as they lived in the same town and it wasn't something they ever did before. My uncle died in his sleep that night, his brother found him in the morning. My thoughts are that he didn't want his wife to find his body.
I have I was also a Hospice Nurse and I also did end of life and altzheimers. I seen many people pass comfortably, and dignity. It was truly a honor to care for my patients. Thank you for what you do.
People only need to be told the mechanism of the death process. I have done Shamanism training as well as learned how to do out of body travel, remote viewing training, and have had bi-location experiences. I gave my dying father and my dying uncle the power to choose by explaining to them that when they are ready all they had to do was relax deeply and slip out through the top of the head. The crown chakra is the exit point and actually softens at the end of life according to Eastern yogis. My uncle used this information within 2 hours of being admitted to hospice. It shocked my cousin to his core because my uncle appeared to be suffering but very verbal. My father did it immediately upon my telling him as he was struggling, much to the surprise of the 5 hospice personnel who were witnesses. I don’t know where the hospice idea of the death process being hard work came from, but I hope it is ditched in favor of the truth. Telling dying people that they are doing hard work causes much suffering. At least that was what I observed on these two occasions. My husband died at home and left in his sleep. He knew long before about this because I had shared it with him a decade before he had a stroke.
I remember my brother in law asking me how he would know to actually cross over. I told him that when its time, im sure he will know. He needed to go to the hospital because he was in so much pain and it was on my birthday. My husband asked him if he could hold off one day to go because every year something bad happens to either of my parents, brothers and sister, and I now hate my birthday. He waited the one day which was beyond sweet of him. He spent like 10 days in this hospital. Every night his wife slept with him in bed and someone else stayed with her on the couch. I knew it was going to be the night that his wife and his Mom were there to sleep after everyone else left. They woke up screaming because he had passed away while they were sleeping. I called it, sadly.
Back in the 1980s I was doing private duty on the night shift for a lady in the hospital. She was in there for a medical condition but was not that sick. When I got ready to leave in the morning I told her I’ll see you tonight and she thanked me and said, “ you don’t need to come back tonight I’m not going to be here.”.
I asked her was she going home today and she said “I’m just not going to be here tonight.”.I went home and later that day I got to call from the agency and she had passed away.
She didn’t tell me that she was going to die. She just said she wasn’t going to be there and she wasn’t.
I believe she knew she was going to die.
I absolutely believe that we Sam choose when to exit. When my mother in law who was 97 went out shopping (she proudly maintained her independence ) she had an accident in her condo neighborhood. No one was hurt. She hit a HVAC unit and her car was a bit wrecked. She was told by her son that she could not drive anymore. After being stripped of her independence a d driving privilege, she started declining with her health and passed a couple of weeks after her accident. She clearly had no desire to be here any longer. I would have to say, I would feel the same way.
Well it is not exactly the same thing but my former husband was dying of cancer. It felt like I prayed him thru all the major events. Our sons bdays (May & June), Father’s Day, our daughters bday July 11. He passed on July 12th. I had hoped for August but that didn’t happen.
I had to get to my uncle’s bedside in a neighboring town hospital. I got there and his son and daughter-in-law and daughter were there. His wife, my dad’s sister has went home for a little while and he passed while she was gone. I was so thankful I could be there. It was a great experience to witness him passing. I could feel his spirit leave his body. I will be forever be grateful for that experience. ❤️
When you described the person who waits for everyone to leave, that was my mom a month ago. We stood vigil for 5 days and nights. Her personality was exactly as you described. Thank you for this video.
I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in your memories of the good times with her.
@@muriel5826 thank you. Even though hospice told us to start stepping out because she might need to be alone to die, I have still felt guilt as I was the one standing watch when it happened. She passed about ten minutes after I stepped out. I’ve been thinking “if only I stayed another ten minutes, she wouldn’t have been alone.” Julie’s video gives me a little comfort that maybe that’s what she needed.
@@mdw1000 Julie’s videos are very comforting. Yes, I think your mom was waiting for you to leave before she passed. She probably wanted to spare you that experience. She must have loved you very much. ❤️
We had my grandfather (88) move in with us after grandma (72) suddenly died of heart attack. He was just miserable missing her and one morning he fell and hit his head and my folks decided to take him to the ER to make sure he was ok. I remember waving to him goodbye and when my folks came home without him I just thought they had admitted him. Turns out when they arrived my father told him ( in Italian) “ Pop we’re here” put him in a wheelchair and as soon as they entered he took his last breath!😳😳😳. I don’t think he wanted to die at our house.
I think my brother did this. He passed in his sleep. Diagnosed will lung and bone cancer. He was independent and wanted to go on his terms.
Hi Julie! I was a hospice nurse and had many experiences. Never the one you described though! I think some may know they are about to die because God allows them to for his purposes. It's kind of like giving birth. My first son was a month early, second son a week late, 3rd right on time. I controlled none of it, but I am fully persuaded that God controlled ALL of it. To God be the glory.❤️
I had a lady staying at the assisted living facility that I worked at. One night she asked for help to the bathroom, which I did. She told me she’d like to go on hospice and she wanted to die. I was the overnight nurse so I passed the message to the day shift so we could get a doctor referral. I didn’t believe she was going to die because she was still walking, talking eating and passing urine but she was dead three days later.
Yes, my Mom entered hospice after breaking her pelvises and a hip…then getting post operative dementia and pneumonia. When she was accepted into hospice, the team didn’t think she would make it through the night.
My sister and I were there but not my brother. My Mom was the happiest when all her children were with her at once.
She waited until my brother got there the next afternoon. While we all were talking, she quietly died.
My husband had a rare disease that eventually destroyed his kidneys. He was tired of fighting and chose not to do dialysis.
He knew that I needed to leave for a two month long business trip but I couldn’t go if he was still in home hospice.
He never really declined at the end, like people do with kidney failure. December 23, he had a favorite dinner, had a long discussion with our youngest daughter and then said he was tired. He went in to take a bath (a highly favorite activity).
After his bath, he came barreling into the bedroom, sat in his chair and said, “I can’t breath”. In mere minutes he died sitting up.
He was clean and naked. I only had to take out his special earring….otherwise there was not much preparation to be done.
If he had waited much longer, we would have been going into Christmas. I know he would not have wanted that. I also know he was worried about my important business trip that I would have needed to do in early January.
I feel confident in saying he chose his time.
My dad died 15 minutes after we all left for the night (we were just down the road at my Gramma's). I feel like he knew that us actually being there for his passing would have been more traumatic.
Hello Stephanie
My Grandmother on my ex-wife’s side not only waited for everyone, but finally passed away when my Mother in law convinced her sister to tell Mom, “it’s ok, you can go now”. Grandma had to hear those words and we all felt she was holding on to “have permission” to go. Shortly thereafter, she passed away.
My Grandfather (he passed away before Grandma) passed away after everyone left for late lunch. It was my brother in law and me there, and he passed away quietly in his sleep.
Your observations are spot on about one and two.
I love your channel and your insights to things we will face, to inform but more importantly *prepare* us so we aren’t afraid, surprised or horrified at this stage of life.
It’s nice to have you “hold” our hands (for a lack of a better description), because we have no idea how we will handle this no matter how much we think we can.
It’s one of those things that can’t really be explained, only experienced, but you make it easier for us.
Thank you for taking the time to make these videos - you don’t know how much it helps! ❤️
And when I was young and just starting out in my nursing career, I was working as a CNA I was very young I was in my 20s and this elderly woman was admitted to the nursing home where I worked, and she kept telling her daughter if you leave me here, I will be dead before dinner. About two hours past and I took her dinner tray into her and she was sitting on her recliner dead!!! oh, that was an experience that I carry with me to this day. I have seen lots of lots of deaths and have many stories on death but the very fact that she literally said that and it happened just as she said it would.
My father-in-law definitely chose when to die. His wife and children all took turns sitting with him day and night, so there was never a time when there wasn't at least one of them in the room. Finally, my mother-in-law needed to speak privately with all their children, so they left me and another spouse with him while they stepped outside to have their meeting. He stopped breathing less than 10 minutes after they left the room. Fortunately, they made it back by his side before his heart stopped. It was very important to them to be there to see him off. I guess he just couldn't bear to leave while they were in the room.
I agree with you. My best friend put it as "God takes you when HE wants to". ❤
I am grateful for this channel.
I was doing private today on the night shift for a lady in the hospital. When morning came in I got ready to leave. I told her I’ll see you tonight, she then thanked me for taking care of her and said, “ no you won’t need to come tonight I’m not going to be here.”.
My father waited until all his children traveled to him and were able to say their good byes. One by one people went to their hotels and then he died. My mom waited for everyone to be out of the room. She was very independent and I don't think she wanted anyone to see her die. They both went very quietly.
My older sister passed away from brain cancer. I was with her all day Saturday. Just watching her and playing a Johnnie Mathas CD. I started clearing up things and had my purse on my shoulder to leave. I called her house and spoke with her youngest daughter. I said I have to go I can't stay here. I turned to go out the door, and a young women in a wheel blocked the door. She said i just wanted to visit Carol. I stepped towards her and wispered you know she is dieing. She talked and talked. I turned to look at my sister and she clutched her hand. I said she never did that before. I lost it and started yelling for a nurse. I think my sister heard me on the phone with her daughter an then she decided to go.
Thank you for what you do for our loved ones.
I was the primary caregiver for my mom who in the last week of her life was in hospice. She had small cell lung cancer that had moved to her brain, bones etc. I had spent every hour I could (I had a career) with her. The night before she passed i had to go home so I could go to work the next day. At 4 AM the next morning I received the call that she passed & I had SO much guilt. The people at the hospice clinic said that was normal & they see that often. The patients have to be left alone & many pass once the family leaves the room.
On the day my mother passed, she was at the hospital while my dad was getting chemo at another facility. Normally I would take him to chemo, but on this day, my brother took him so that I could be at the hospital with my mother. So my sister and I were at my mother’s bedside when it became obvious that she was rapidly declining. We called the facility where my dad was getting chemo, they unhooked him so he could get to the hospital. At this point my mother’s breaths were slowing down. My sister sang my mother’s favorite song…Ave Maria. Once she sang the last note, we told my mom it was ok to let go, and she breathed her last. Unfortunately my dad and brother weren’t there and got there about 20 minutes after.
I absolutely believe this. My nana died at home on hospice, and once all of her 5 kids (and me, the 1st grandchild) were gathered around her, I told her she could go, and she did.
My MIL died a few mo ago, she waited until her daughter woke up in the middle of the night and then my SIL gave her permission to go (also on hospice).
I have also seen this in the hospital in my own nursing career.
My Grandmother and my Mom waited for everyone to leave. Waiting for me to be with them. Within, a hour of people leaving the room they both died. It was an honor to be there for them.
My sweet mama was on hospice care for lung cancer just 6 months ago. The hospice nurse was pretty convinced that mom was showing all the signs and that she may very well pass that Wednesday. My whole family came and we would trickle into the room a few of us at a time. She was not conscious and so peaceful as hours turned to days, in fact she stayed with us until that Sunday evening April 23, 2023, her birthday. It had been a beautiful day, we had balloons, and cake, my sisters, daughter and granddaughter were there, and although she was unaware of the celebration we were having, her spirit knew. I truly believe that my dear mother waited to go home on the very day that she came into the world. It was an incredible gift to all of us and a precious sign that she was okay and in the arms of Jesus.
I watch videos of NDE or Near Death Experience. A lot of people have come forward
and told their stories. Most are pleasant experiences and death is nothing to fear.
Yes, my grandmother wanted for everyone to get there. It was a peaceful death. Mother inlaw did the same. My husband and I came all the way from LA to Texas and she passed about 20 minutes after we got there.
My mother had been really struggling with terminal myelofibrosis for many many years. 10 years ago marked many important events for our family and she made it through the last, her oldest granddaughter’s wedding at the beginning of November. Thanksgiving day my husband and I took her to the ER. She was admitted. We knew she’d never come home. She was particularly close to my only child who was in Europe. I called her home because we knew. The day she arrived she crawled into bed with her Noni and the next day Mom passed. She waited until we all were there. Her kidlets, as she referred to us all. I still cry thinking about it.
This happened 12 months ago tomorrow, 18 th July 2022, my best friend of 30 years was admitted to hospital, her brother went to visit and said he would go back in a couple of days and she said no, Im dying, and she was gone within a few hours, she knew 😢
Well I did make this comment on another video I think...I am binging hospice Julie right now. My mother in law used almost exactly the same words this women used and in the same order. She was lucid, happy, and stated those words. Went home from hospital with hospice, to walk into her bedroom and die within the hour!!! Amazing, beautiful how it ended.
My grandmother in law was not going to pay for another month in the hospital…..she was admitted in the beginning of October from a fall….she was 98. She worked hard for her money. She died late 10/31.
My Aunt made me wonder this. She went out to eat on Friday and then Sunday she was going to go drive somewhere and she just couldn’t do it. Her best friend said to her maybe your ready to check out. Then it was only a couple days when she died after she laid in bed and her family came to see her. I was so shocked how sudden it was. My mother, her last living sister, died only 2 months before her.
My father lay on his death bed from a Tuesday to a Saturday- we knew it was soon his breaths were down to the slightest HUH and I stopped counting when they were three minutes apart. The nurse on duty was a guy named Lou and he was wonderful but also very brash and I personally hoped he wouldn’t be there when the time came. The rest of the family showed up about an hour before Lou’s shift change. A new lovely young sweet smelling nurse arrived and did her cross referencing with Lou and he left. The air of nervousness disappeared replaced by the smell of flowers and Dad passed about 10 minutes later and it was the young nurse that called it from the other side of the room. I don’t know how she knew but I looked into his eyes and knew she was right. I believe he held on for hours to avoid Lou being there.
Absolutely 100% correct. As an Oncology RN for 20 years , I saw these 3 scenarios repeatedly , I always loved it when they waited for everyone to be there and/or accepting that death was coming…. I truly had some amazing and beautiful experiences …♥️♥️♥️