Should we just stop cleaning so much?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ย. 2024
- Should we just stop cleaning? Has America entered its MESSY HOME ERA. Can we finally stop trying to have a picture-perfect house all the time? I mean, even Marie Kondo says her house isn't tidy.
What are your thoughts?
#homeorganization
🗣️MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO.
The article: www.thecut.com...
FIVE VIDEOS to get you started on realistic home organization and cleaning:
1. Take My 30 Day Cleaner Challenge: • CLEANER IN 30 DAYS ✨ H...
2. Life-Changing Decluttering Hacks: • 13 Life-Changing Declu...
3. Five Secrets Organized People Know: • 5 SECRETS TIDY PEOPLE ...
4. The Truth About Getting Tidy that Changed My Life: • THE TRUTH ABOUT GETTIN...
5. Cleaning Secrests for Messy People: • LIFE-CHANGING CLEANING...
🔗HELPFUL LINKS:
My Printables butfirstcoffee...
Shop Favs on my Amazon Storefront: www.amazon.com...
Get me in your inbox: www.butfirstco...
Take My 30 Day Cleaner Challenge: • CLEANER IN 30 DAYS ✨ H...
👋WHERE ELSE TO FIND ME
Hi I'm Kallie Branciforte, the content creator for the blog and TH-cam channel But First, Coffee.
Get a ton more on THE BLOG: www.butfirstcoffeeblog.com
For everyday life and more life hacks, join me on INSTAGRAM: kallie_branciforte
👉DISCLAIMER
This is not a sponsored video. Some links in this description may contain affiliate links.
Music by licensed by Epidemic Sound.
“Stop cleaning our homes for other people. Start cleaning our homes for us.” One of the beat statements I’ve ever heard! Thank you!
When I was a young mother of 4 kids, I had a day off. I was determined to sort toys and get closet organized that morning then go to school for a classroom party. Well I didn’t get everything done and was contemplating skipping the party to finish up. My mother in law was visiting and she said. One day your kids will be grown and you’ll have all the time in the world to clean. It was the best advice and now my kids are grown and I’m so thankful I spent my time with them not cleaning. Kids don’t remember how your pantry looked they remember playing at the park with you.
I totally agree with you!!
I wish someone would tell me that too...
@@maryt6525 Enjoy your time living life. You’ll never regret it! Speaking peace and love to you and your family
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I feel like I was meant to read this. You’re absolutely right. THANK YOU
One cannot clean clutter. Declutter until you reach the number of items you must manage fits your lifestyle and energy level.
Bottom line, do your best but don't stress yourself out over it. Life's hard enough. 👍🏻😀
My Mother always said "Don't be a slave to your house" took her advice, FINALLY! 😃
Hi from Germany! I feel the need to tell you that I enjoy your channel because you never make "blah, blah" videos. You don't chatter endlessly about nothing, you never waste my time; instead you add value to my organizational life. So, thanks a lot, Kallie.
Exactly how I feel
YES EXACTLY
I so agree. For me, having a clean, organized home is definitely good self-care. Over a few years, I highly simplified my home. I don’t know what % I let go, but it was a lot. Less inventory decreases my stress and makes it a joy to keep my home a happy place.
Perfect timing! Literally 30 minutes ago, I looked over my house, toys everywhere, baby bottles in the sink, pillows strewn haphazardly on my couch, even though I cleaned everything yesterday. I have a 3 week old and a 2 year old, and my in laws are coming tomorrow, and I was feeling the panic rising that my house isn't tidy or clean enough. Having kids has made me lower my standards, and watching this video helped me feel more at peace that it's okay to have toys everywhere, and the bottles will get washed tonight, and I don't need a picture perfect house for my in laws because this is our reality.
Sounds like my daughter's house. She has 3 boys....ages 6, 4 and 1. The oldest 2 are autistic. She works part-time and runs kids to school, doctors appointments and speech. She always apologizes for the condition of the house. I don't judge because being such a wonderful mother to those boys is so much more important.
If your baby is only 3 weeks old, give yourself lots of grace. Spend that time with your baby!
You go girl. There has to be a happy medium. Recently organized my home and always keep pretty clean. Cant miss living to have perfect home. Hint: no one does.❤❤❤
YES! So this! I don’t like visual clutter and I like my home to be clean; that said, I’ve accepted that I hate organizing. LOATHE it. So I no longer organize. It’s not necessary in our family and caused me undue stress for YEARS. We are much happier as a family keeping our home clean in a way that works, and is happy and sustainable for us!
Happiness filled my heart when I saw a notification that you uploaded a new video🥰💖🤭❤️⚜️🥳✨😘🌷🌸🥝🍓📌🥞🫂🎉🌟❤😊❤😊❤😊
It's such a great video. As someone who had a horrific childhood due to abuse,etc, then married an abusive and violent man, I became obsessed with having a tidy,spotless house to a huge detriment. I later realized that if I felt my house was 'in order', then I had some sense of control where I had never had before. It took many years to heal but now, I've been literally going through every part of my home, getting rid of 'things' that brought me false joy and letting go of the fillers if that makes sense. I want to enjoy my spaces not be tied to them for the time I have left on this earth. There's too much 'living' out there to be a part of.
False Joy
Eye opener
Daily tidy clean up is the key. I spent 5days away with one of my daughters and came home to a complete dump. It took me 48hrs to get back to a good point. I have a family of 9. It truly is the Daily bits that make the difference. When it comes to cleaning something is better than nothing xx
My mother taught me to put away or straighten 15 things before I go to bed. It works for me! 10 minutes every night.
One of the best lines I learned from Flylady is "Housework done poorly still blesses your family." It seems to me you are in a different life-phase when you have children, as you and Marie Kondo illustrate. This invites a difference response. Your decisions to keep your home in a way that suits the family you love and at a level that lets you enjoy them as well is the rational, loving response. Thank you!
Influencers with perfection have become another thorn in my side. No one lives that way….so it makes us regular women feel like once again, we are failures. I just remember they often have house cleaning services, they often have filters, they are presenting an ideal that is unsustainable 24/7. I enjoy decluttering and organizing tips….I have learned a lot. But I don’t have a filter, and a cleaning lady and free sponsor gifts. Enjoy videos with a grain of salt folks, these lovely you tubers are just like the rest of us, and when that camera is off, they are cleaning cat puke off the rug and trying to find their kids other sneaker. Hugs everyone!
That's why I like Jamie's Journey, she's very transparent. She explains how her husband does help with the cleaning and childcare, and how many days her videos cover.
Agree completely! I love for my house to be clean and clear of visual clutter but I would fail a white glove test more days than not.
Ah, what timing. Just started reading "how to keep house while drowning: a gentle approach to cleaning and organizing" by kc davis. Two huge lessons: 1) Care tasks are morally neutral, 2) You don't exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you. (Kallie-I suspect you have also read it and possibly have mentioned elsewhere.) Recommend!
I've learned a lot from you over the past couple of years! I love the "tomorrow's me will thank today's me" and the "scan and fix". When I notice myself doing those things, I say "Thank you, Kallie!" I am learning, at age 66, to love taking care of my home. And YOU have had a lot to do with that!! ♥
I love this mentality! The middle ground works best for me! I get stressed if I try to maintain perfection and too much mess makes me feel anxious. Each night before bed, I aim to reset my home to what I call "visual neutral". This means I throw away trash, take dishes to the sink, put pillows and blankets back on the couches, and put things where they belong. So, when I look at my space the next day, it doesn't look overwhelmingly messy, but it's not pristinely clean either. It's neutral! I don't always get the trash taken out, or have the floors vacuumed, or wash the dishes, but things are placed in a way that allows me to carry on with life. My system might not work for everyone else, but it works pretty well for me!
Everything you said in this video is absolutely correct! You have made so many valid comments. As an empty nester, it's fairly easy for my husband and I to "reset" our home every day. But if we don't, it's ok. It's just for us. As you said, it keeps the stress limited, and my "tomorrow self" so appreciates "last night's self" for cleaning the house before bed at night. Thanks for all you do. I really look forward to your videos each week.
We are blessed and a mess in the house is from our abundance of living a full life with our families ❤❤
I like the real looks, instead of picture perfect. Yet keeping what you need and not over stuffing your home is needed. My grandmother's says enough is enough and to much is nasty !!! Keep cleaning your home but a lived in home is better than a "don't mess it up" home.
So true! Excellent video. We also need to accept help and in the form one is willing to give it. My husband refuses to fold the towels the way I like them but he will fold them and put them away so I have to remember to accept his help in the way he is willing to give it. It’s one less thing I have to do. 💗💝💗
I once saw a speech that was "i think" given by a Colonel who said if you wake up and make your bed then you have accomplished one thing that day. It is so true. I taught my kids to make their beds when they were little (not perfect) and that way they had their rooms were "tidy"❤
So many facts!! Thank you!
A few videos ago you said something that your husband said to you which was “how can we get on top of laundry? We are wearing clothes?” And I’ve been saying that to myself a lot lately. Staying on top of laundry is one of my biggest stressors, and I currently have three big baskets to fold and put away and tomorrow I will have another load and another and another…so big thank you to your husband for the kind words I say to myself now.
🌬🫶🏼🫠WOW, This is BEAUTIFUL ❣️Thank you ❣️
This might be my favorite video you’ve ever made. Wonderful insight and perspective.
I think there’s an increase in people on social media who are being more transparent and honest about decluttering and cleaning. However, there are still a lot promoting a perfect home and buying lots of “things”. I love how your home has a unique look! I see people building “custom” homes yet they all look almost identical!
Bam ! You nailed it Kallie ! 100% ! Thank-you for speaking up. Tending to your space is healthy, for children too. It’s not a performance or perfection. But it is better for us.
Thank you so much for these reflections. That's gorgeous and so true !
I feel this entire video so much and agree with it. Thank you for being a voice of reason Kallie!
YES! Cleaning our homes for ourselves! I am so working on this.
I completely agree! It's so much easier now that I don't care who may or may not be coming to my house and just have a tidy routine for ME. I feel so much better doing a normal cleaning up each day - it's actually relaxing and makes me feel incredibly better!
I really realllyyy appreciate this message!
I had to watch this twice because I went into a fugue state several times the first time around. I am in the process of emptying my space because I'm 73 and if not now, then it will fall to my middle aged child and that's just wrong. I wear the chains I've forged in life by acquiring way too much stuff. You are signing off after the second replay so let me say thank you for this. I feel seen, inspired, and so ready to go back into the fray 💙💚💙
I’m retired also and I’m working on clearing things out too. I remember what a pain it was to clear out my mom’s house 10+ years ago. I want to make things easier for my kids. (While still keeping the things that I use and enjoy.)
@@mljs9245 I agree about keeping the things I enjoy. My issue is that what was once comfortable for me seems excessive today. I am finding it easier to revoke things and recycle them. Not crazy about tossing them in the landfill but I'll cross that bridge down the road, no doubt. Good luck with your project Marie
Agreed! I don't feel good when my home is gross but since I had kids I have and will forever - never turned down an adventure or a chance to make a memory so I can stay home and clean! Life is too short. THAT footed white marble bowl! Where??!! How much?? It matches a piece my grandmother left me...
Yes I agree, I have a 1 year old and a dog and I do clean the important things like kitchen, clothes, and the bathroom, but I don’t constantly clean everything. I don’t dust often, I might have a cobweb here or there, there’s probably crumbs in the cushions, and toys everywhere. But I spend a lot of time with playing with my baby as often as I can.
Great advices! Especially the your emphasis on shifting our perspective on cleaning and organizing our homes resonates with me the most. It's refreshing to hear that cleaning should be seen as a form of self-care and a way to enhance our own lives, rather than solely for the purpose of impressing others. Creating routines and systems that make our lives easier and reduce anxiety truly makes a lot of sense. 😊
As a fellow mother, thank you for saying what you said about moms defining themselves or their self-worth based on the tasks they managed or didn’t manage to accomplish, and if the latter, feeling like a failure. It’s like you were in my brain! I appreciate you being real and normalizing motherhood! ❤️
I needed to hear this. I have a 4 year old & im pregnant on baby number 2. Also there's a heat wave where I am in the UK atm. I'm struggling to keep up with the cleaning & organising I would usually do. The part at the end about 'getting the clothes into the dresser, even if they're not folded'- made me feel better & less stressed immediately. Just as a thought that I haven't even done yet😂 realising its okay it isn't perfect all the time, so long as it gets the job done.
Thank you Kalli
Thank you! I needed to hear this.❤
I love what you said about finding a happy medium and cleaning our homes for us (not the guest that may or may not come over). I totally channeled you last night. it was late, it had been a long day and I just wanted to relax and watch a show--but I thought, no, cleaning up the kitchen so we can start the day with a clean space does more for my stress level/mental health than watching a show. and you know what? it only took about ten minutes and I still had time to watch an episode of my show.
Very spot on. We need to do it for ourselves and the peace of our family l, not company. And I do appreciate the honesty that everyone's life is messy somewhere or other
You NAILED it!
The video I needed. I would be utterly exhausted and would have to ignore my kids all say in order to maintain a picture perfect home all the time. Instead I do the best that I have time for each day and then we go do something fun and meaningful together ✨️
Omg yes. I clean and organize my home so I am comfortable in it. It is always in a state of flux and I have learned to be okay with that while taking daily and weekly steps.
It's taken a few years and moving house a few times to properly declutter, but now I basically just own the things I need/want/use. With less excess stuff in my house, it's easier and much quicker to clean and tidy. Now I have more time for fun, while maintaining a tidy home.
Absolutely! I only do what is needed for our family to function on a daily basis. Then when I get that extra free time, I do the other stuff (cleaning microwave, appliances, etc)
My husband and I had decided to move to a retirement community. We did a massive cleanout. Guess what? We are not moving. By removing all the "things" and excess furniture we found we love our house all over again.
My house is always tidy but I stopped the daily deep cleaning 5 years ago when I retired. I have too much living to do to spend hours and hours cleaning and cleaning! Once a month is good enough for me to dust and wipe windows, etc. sweeping and mopping though? Can’t give those up.
This is the absolute most relatable video I’ve viewed in a long time.
You are such an intelligent lady. Your videos always make me feel better about myself, and a lot more capable of doing the things that are actually important. Thank you!
A picture perfect home is to me - cold, sterile, unattainable & just a museum piece.
I prefer a cozy, picked up home that is lived in and welcoming.
Your tip about the clean sink at night for your tomorrow self has been the biggest help to me. I've been using that mantra for the last couple of years & its works! My hubby is so much more appreciative about our home and living space. 😊
Having grown up with and then as an adult shared a home with people who decide to just leave the mess not only did I have the stress and trouble finding what I needed to function but we were constantly dealing with bugs and mold! It's really easy to lose track of a dirty dish or half empty soda can when you have piles of mess everywhere.
But they keep saying "Why bother organizing and tidying, I can find what I need (in two or three days, maybe a week, maybe a month, but I surely can)" arrrrrgh!!!!!
Agree. U need to find what works. My house isn't always white glove clean, but is always tidy. It's much easier when u don't have others in ur home 1000%. 😂 U always make great and intelligent points and statements. U need a new intro with that new addition. 🎉🎉 Thanks Kallie!
I don’t know if it’s a generation thing but I’ve seen some restocking/ cleaning videos and it’s unrealistic to me that you need to stock a guest bathroom like a hotel or have 10 scrub daddies and 20 different cleansers. I tidy a bit everyday and clean at least once a week, kitchen and the one bathroom we have more often. Laundry done most days etc. thank you for this video. BTW the above is just “my” perception and opinion. It doesn’t bother me how others live in their homes.
@Samantha-ys5ko thanks
Great points. I'm doing the best I can. In talking about hospitality, the point was made that you're home doesn't need to be tiktok perfect. But having a load of laundry on the couch & dishes to be done you still ask that person over is true hospitality. I have tried to live by that example, but I still stress about what my house looks like to others.
Yay rah sis boom bah!!! Preach it.
The days of Donna Reed cleaning in high heels and pearls are long over! We have indeed entered a Messy Home Era. People have so many more activities to tend to and much more stuff. I'm guilty myself.
The only thing I take away from all the cleaning/ organizing videos is that even “ small” American homes are huge!!! You guys are so blessed 😇
Oh my gosh! I think this all the time. I live in the states, we live in 1600 square feet and it's smaller than almost all my friends houses by far. This "small" home that we live in looks HUGE when I watch TH-camrs from Europe. What's the deal? Is it that we have more land space? It's not uncommon for middle class folks to have land. We live on 10acres. What size is your space? This topic is so fascinating to me. Why are our houses so big!
Thank goodness for this video! Where was this when I needed it in the '80s?!! I hung around with the wrong people for awhile because they...always...had clean homes. I had two boys at home and man oh man I tried to keep up. When they were teenagers I just shut their doors. Blessings to you and your family! P.S...enjoy your children. They grow up so, so fast!!
I need my house picked up, organized and fairly clean. Are there days that I fall behind? Absolutely. But I couldn’t have it messy on a regular basis.
I have been a housekeeper for over 20 years and I am one of the best. But at my home the toilet is clean but the house, not so much. Not That Important! I have watched folks lament over their homes being perfect and it is a waste of time. Go out and have fun, leave the dishes til morning, don't dust for a month. It really doesn't matter. Or hire someone. 🌞
While working full-time and raising two children, I came to realization that a perfect home was taking time from I valued. Now, for the most part, the dishes are done and the kitchen cleaned daily, the floors are vacuumed daily, my bed is made daily to keep the cats out, and the bathrooms and laundry are on a routine. While I do more cleaning as I have time and energy, I don't stress about it,and my house stays relatively clean. There is a difference between daily activities and living, and a truly dirty house.
I am a firm believer of too much or too little of anything is not a good thing. We should try to be balanced in all that we do. I am not a tidy person naturally, but I am not a complete slob either. The cleaner my house is the more calm I feel. I have friends and family that are on both extremes and neither of those is healthy. My sons are all graduated now and we are moving onto the next phase of life and looking to move homes (a larger home than what we have now, but not overly large). Since we may be moving and I need to do this anyway, I am getting rid of more stuff that I will not be using in the near future or maybe ever. I love your channel and good luck with the new baby!
This is great, thank you! ❤
I love this and all if what you said is true. Thanks for this video.
As with everything there is a balance. Now that we are empty-nesters I asked my husband “can I have a room that I can just leave messy if I want?”Our house is pretty clean and we both for years have kept things straightened up and it’s nice to know that I can be in the middle of a project and not have to keep it cleaned up. I do clean up that room at least once a week. It is so much more calming to have leas things to clean and to keep a straightened up house.
5 of my cousins have picture perfect homes. 4 have children, the other one has dogs. My 2 aunts and my moms home were picture perfect. The one aunt, you could eat off her floors. Me not so much. I agree with the self clean. Love your videos. Thanks for doing them.
Thank you!
Whew! Good to know some others agree! There was a time .....single Mom with 2 teenage guys & working fulltime, that I declared that dust was a furniture protective cover! 😁 (within reason, of course). Pick up & put away, oh yes! 👍
YES!!! I am SO HAPPY now that I just literally “let things go”.
I found work arounds. Like not folding clothes and not dragging them all to diff rooms. I cram them into bins and they have labels everyone can read. Even my towels have a bin. That’s just an example.
And yes a messy house leads to anxiety bla bla bla. What ur not seeing is that probably for many of us (including myself), Covid, job losses, hurricanes, shut downs, quarantine, kids school closed then demolished due to weather, credit scores crashing… SO many reasons… the mental health of parents was literally crashing. This WASNT because of dirty houses. The cause/effect was totally different than any typical scenario studied prior by psychology, doctors, researchers.. THAT’S why we’ve entered a new era. And THAT’S what makes this so freeing and ok.
Now that I’ve stopped cleaning night and day AND have become ok with a SINK FULL OF DISHES…
I have taken up digital art and make gifts for ppl. It’s amazing
I love this!
Keeping things picked up is the key for me. Otherwise it becomes overwhelming.
I LOVE THIS VIDEO!!! Thank you! Getting ready for a party and I’m exhausted 🫤 Going to do the bare minimum and go with it 😊
Sue Wolfe- In truth, no one ever shared our messes, we dealt with it. You can find anyone on social media to align with your thought process if you look hard enough! Maybe staying away from it and wasting that time could be better utilized by just taking steps to clean up a bit??😀🤔👌🙄
Years ago, I was invited to the home of my husband's boss.....a beautiful home that was spotless. I asked the wife the secret to her tidy home. She told me it is very simple.....you straighten the downstairs before you go up to bed, and straighten the upstairs before you go downstairs for breakfast." That made perfect sense to me.
AGREE!! As in all things, balance! Obsessiveness is not freedom, but living in a cluttered state isn't either.
I agree with alot of what you said. I am not a neat freak by nature, I'm definitely more of a clutterbug, but I'm always trying to do better than than I did the day before. It's a struggle for me, (I'm partially disabled) but do the best I can. 30yrs ago, when I was a young Mommy, with 2 little boys under 2, boy were those rough days!! I still kept trying to keep my house perfect, but it damn near killed me! I just had this one family member, whose home is ALWAYS ,,"picture perfect" and she really enjoyed make ng me feel so inadequate as a Wife & Moiyu 7
As I got older though, and watched her go through not 1, not 2, not even just 3m, but a total of 4 divorces. She
Yes I love everything you say in this video. With my pregnancy I've found my energy is very limited. So I clean and tidy when I'm feeling well and I just focus on the the things that will make me feel better. The amount of clothes I can wear is strinking and I have a decent maternity wardrobe but I've grown out of a few things already. So having my laundry clean and put away is something I have at the top of my list every week. And a clean kitchen sink is up there too. But decluttering and organizing my whole closet is just not gonna happen haha. I just focus on getting things 70% to 80% clean and that's better than trying and exhausting myself for the 100. A little something is better than nothing when I'm up for it
Love this!!!!
We agreed about the special plates. We've decided to adjust it by either taking them out, and just pass them out to players as objective cards or we plan on just taking at least half of them out of the game and playing like normal.
I stopped folding all of my t-shirts and tank tops and sleeveless shirts that I wear around the house. They somehow don't get very wrinkled and it looks fine. I still fold my pants and leggings for organization, but somehow these casual tops just don't need it. Saves me a few minutes and it really doesn't matter
Great video
What's clean to you is okay. Just don't let it consume you. Living in a healthy home. NOT deplorable conditions. Affects us a lot mentally, physically, emotionally, etc....
I’m like Monica on ‘Friends’ - my home is pretty clean and tidy 99.9% of the time but it’s my closets and other storage areas like the garage where I sometimes struggle to keep up.
As an OCD MALE, ok I live alone but clutter makes me crazy, remember the old saying a place for everything and everything in it place. I’m not saying as soon as I’ve completed a task but in my home there is a place for everything mop, brooms cleaning supplies etc. In my laundry room I converted the closet with all shelves,installed places to hang mops,brooms so their out of the way. Ok I’m older and my kids are grown and one their own, but when they lived at home they were expected to clean their rooms,believe me it was a struggle with my daughter as a teenager she was a slob, I resorted one time to going in her room with a 55 gallon trash bag a picking up everything on the floor when she came home she threw a fit (LOL that’s putting it mildly.) she asked me what I did with all her stuff I told her I threw all out (I really didn’t) no my son room on the other hand was for the most pretty organised (go figure) long story short as an adult with her own home she is need a pin.
Ok confession I’m from the baby boomer generation and we did things differently back then, but I’m still of the frame mind that kids need to taught to clean up after themselves.
Ok you can all beat me up now
If my house isn't tidy and clean my stress levels go way up. I declutter often and don't own much which is key. We do a nighttime routine to tuck the house in for night. Expecting my second baby so we shall see how I can keep up with it lol.
Amen girl
Great point on it not being a "moral failing" to not be super clean or minimal. I struggle in judging sometimes (particularly messy car folks w no kids or pets) and try to remember- everyone has their unique strengths! 😉 Great video!
Great video! Where did you get the little sink tray from? (That holds soap and brush)
I agree there's a difference between messy/organized and unsanitary. If there's not rotting food or human waste or something like that everywhere, then people will be at different levels in different seasons.
I'm in my 'lived in house' era. I know it's never going to be perfectly tidy especially with two kids but I also don't want my house to be super untidy either
I seem to confine my mess to the dining room. Not that the rest of the house is perfect, but most of the stuff ends up there. Then when it really bugs me I turn on some great music and clear (or almost clear) the room. I've decided this is something I can live with. Not perfect, but not completely out of control.
Loved it! I feel like most people specially moms, we are always trying to get everything done and it just impossible! I have adapted so many of your tips to my routine and my way of doing things that actually work! This video just made me think of something that happend to me yesterday. Short story, I hosted a baby shower for a friend, i tried to keep the house as clean as possible for the last to days. Specially bathrooms. I have a 2.5 yo and a 6 mo i was alone so i had to get in the shower with my 2 yo and put my baby in the bouncer next to the shower. Got out, wrapped 2 yo in towel and held baby. got everyone ready and at the end pf night when everyone left i stepped into my bathroom…i never went back to pick up our dirty cloths or the baby bouncer 😅 someone picked up my dirty clothes and put them in a corner. And thats how everyone went into my bathroom. I was embarrassed, but after watching this video i wonder if they just said well she is a busy mom and just forgot and nobody judged me (i hope) life is just like that
so agree no one lives in a picture prefect looking home
Yes yes and yes. My thing is if I can stay on top of things for the most part on the days that I go to work then on my days off of work I can have guilt-free NO cleaning days :)
If I decide to save it all for later... later is spent cleaning and not doing fun stuff with my 5 year old especially if it involves leaving the house because when I leave my house and it's dirty I can't fully enjoy the time spent away because I'm thinking about all the things I need to do at home 😂
My mother use to say about spring cleaning “Why look for dirt?” Lol
Trauma caused my loathing of cleaning. My younger sis and I would have to wash up each night and she’d always pick a fight or be petty. I went into the kitchen each night with anxiety at 7yo. Then my ex was even worse and would grunt resentment if he was in the kitchen or he wanted to use it. In the house I designed I made him his own wall of the kitchen to he would get off my back. The last time he did it, he came in dirty from gardening and went off at me for cooking in the afternoon as I don’t usually do it then. I was 10mins away from finishing cooking 3 spuds. He took away one of my car keys and kicked me out of using the good shower. I’ve had therapy for this and now can keep the kitchen clean. Don’t get me started on him criticising the rest of the house when he is a hoarder. Have left him after 32yrs of this and doing much better. Learnt about having a clutter threshold and to go with my organisational style and they’re a game changer.
20 years ago when i had a toddler and a newborn I was literally like "it's clean under the clutter!" and it was true! My floors had been vacuumed or mopped, and surfaces had been wiped and dusted BUT then my toddler woke up and before I was even done nursing for the first time, there would be books all over the floor, clean laundry, dirty laundry, stuff getting put down instead of put away, dirty bottles or sippy cups from the night before, my own coffee cups or bottles of water etc. .You wake up with stuff that immediately needs to be taken care of in order to get to Instagram worthy. Back then, there wasn't Instagram, or facebook, thank goodness, but the ONLY time my house would have passed the photo test would have been right before I went to bed at night, after I had picked up the books and toys and started the dishwasher etc and run the vacuum and before anyone was up to make a mess! I still wouldn't say it was perfect even at that time of night, I was a tired mom, BUT I knew that my babies playing on the floor was safe, and that is what my goal was, safe spaces for them. If they had junk pulled out all over it was overwhelming, but it was still CLEAN. I think we often fail to realize that clean and tidy are different. Tidy means things are picked up and put away, while clean means the surfaces have been wiped including the floors. Right now, I would say my space is dirty, it may look tidy, but it needs cleaned. I need to clean mirrors, windows, dust all the surfaces (I have plants and they are very messy by nature), I need to vacuum and mop. BUT from far away, things are looking clean! Unfortuantely, my allergies have been crazy from the smoke so I have had sinus pain and benadryl in me, neither of which make me want to move everything and pull out the supplies! Fortunetly, my kids are no longer in the house so it's ME who suffers from cleaning being deferred. Next week it will probably be clean but untidy as I want to declutter and we all know that pulling things out causes a mess before it gets better! LOL