An insecure man nearly destroyed me. No amount of reassurance, dressing down, staying home and not seeing my friends was enough for him. His favorite line " it's not that I don't trust you, I just don't trust other people." So he made me responsible for the actions and intentions of other people, sometimes people I didn't even know or see. Always 21 questions, always accusing, always snooping, always always always. Sometimes there's nothing you can do.
Most men that do things like that are doing dirt themselves so they start to project their wrong doings onto you.Hopefully your healed and worked on loving yourself hun. I’m sending you love and light.
An insecure man is exhausting. My looks have suddenly become a problem to him and its accusations every day in every phone call. I've lost interest in him
That’s exactly my problem as Stephan said in the beginning he has a lot of great qualities but the constant accusations you have a problem with how I dress, I can’t hang out with male friends my patience has its limits 😩
@@ydaniafaldor4558how do I deal with this? I’m having this same issue man. I’ve been so patient but now I feel like every time I’ll try go out have fun on a lunch even, he might have an issue with it as well.
8 years of my young life wasted on an insecure man. I don’t even recognize myself, I doubt myself a lot when I use to be very sure and confident, I myself have become very insecure when I use to be quite secure in myself. Ladies if a man has insecurities and doesn’t want to face and fix it just LEAVE!!! Time is way to precious
You need to have your own boundaries and hold it. You placed it there for a reason. Someone that respects and loves you will Honor that. You are worth the effort and don’t forget that! Good luck!
Reject - internalizing his issues..... I needed this video a year ago, I was willing to change, adjust at every accusation, work on myself, but I realized, I can't accept punishment like I'm a child. I realize that when he was hurt, he wanted to hurt me back (emotionally) and would make things up to tell me I was flawed... and even though everyone needs improvement, I am not willing to accept his claims as truths... If every month, there is something I'm doing, then obviously, I'm not for you.. I lost myself trying to conform and am now struggling to reconfirm that I am a capable, reasonable, beautiful, talented & smart...
If you stay with an insecure man and keep giving him chance after chance, he will always blame you because in his screwed up head, he truly believes you're doing something behind his back and he will eventuality hurt you and leave you broken-hearted in the end. If you see the red flags, don't even think twice. Just RUN!
I think the answer to so many relationship issues in the world today is wait as long as possible to get naked. Sex complicates things with hormones and strong emotions. This isn't a religious thing, and it doesn't need to be hold out for marriage. Just take the time to form a strong foundation and find out about each other's needs and wants.
A confident woman who stays with an insecure man will slowly start watering herself down so much that in the end she won’t even recognize herself anymore. Ask me how I know. 🥺
I saw the little red flags, I noticed that he was insecure but I didn’t have an issue with that because I didn’t know it was going to really impact the relationship in a bad way. I broke up with him days ago. He’s a really good guy and I love him so much but I just can’t handle constant accusations and bad assumptions.
I agree with this! Not everyone is going to be 100% "healed." Shoot, I'm not! I find that word is so overused nowadays. As long as the person is not toxic or hurtful to you, there is a possibility. We can never change anyone so they have to want to do the work themselves. Love your content and find it very insightful and helpful, thank you!
No one can love anyone through something they are not ready to change or if they do not see a reason to change. A person can be there to support you if they want change. I have gone through my own healing and it came at the time I was finished healing. There is no need to speak to someone who is there to support you in a negative way. Be gracious that someone is there to support you during your time of need. In today's world most people are worried about themselves only. Be grateful.
being able to differentiate between possessiveness and protectiveness is exactly what shields women from abusive relationships. but at the same time, a lot of abusive women use protective empaths themselves. we need to also be aware of the person who needs to be protected. playing the victim can be a manipulation tactic
Very well said. Yes we need to identify the one needing protection ❤ the innocent.. the victim.. & yes the manipulator will reverse that picture to onlookers. Victims have more police orders on them rather than the abuser. Is the insanity working w physical or psychological abuse.
It’s a lot of work how you put the naturally occurring process between relationships.. into neutral words w out stigmas, diagnosis or labels & create dialogue.. w ‘demand’ or options of work..
So right on w boundaries- even when they came out naturally knowing this circle from start to finish. .. & besides work a practice of 3x’s a week along w seeking him out.. was very & still seems lopsided.. however looking in , trauma can be seen , w the why , is extensive , trauma that can’t be looked at w out safety.. however again experience says the boundaries ran over right away were fundamental for a woman w extroverted personality & emotive..
Running over boundaries persists.. yet is the woman a fool to expect it’d be different w her? Role is for man to initiate.. however there is a compelling saving Grace towards this but it’s not something to take on single handedly.. nor can movement w out assurance of boundaries internalized rather than entertained superficially
Yessss. I met my ex husband in 1988. He tried to take my life once he realized that I got therapy from childhood trauma. He saw me changing. It triggered his insecurities. In the beginning I did ignore the red flags. Awesome Video Stephan!!! Truth sets us free. Actually I did not know I was codependent. Thank God I reached out for help.
I went through this in a marriage of 13 years. Left me insecure and unsure of who I am as a woman. My healing is still a work in progress. I enabled him, and I did all of the changing. I lived every day trying not to make him mad or jealous. He became narcissistic and possessive.
We all have past hurt from childhood or even adulthood. What matters most is that we are aware and have willingness to grow and heal. Not every person has insight; which is an essential element of growth. Some individuals; instead of owning their stuff, just want to blame their partner. ☹️ I couldn't be with someone so controlling, but sometimes that is subtle and creeps in over time. 🫤Great video just in time for my birthday!🎉💓
This why it’s important to have a conversation when you’re on the good term about your expectations and boundaries in the relationship. When have issues, talk but don’t tolerate bad behaviors if you tried your best but your partner refuses to help you both grow healthier in the relationship ❤ it takes two!
Please stay CLEAR from INSECURE people! They are TOXIC! Set standards. A grounded woman is going to be with a grounded man. It’s simple, I’m not going to purchase a lemon vehicle knowing it’s a hassle to constantly visit the repair shop and it just breaks down anyway. Know your worth! How many individuals do YOU know who suffer from insecurities really get help and change themselves? Time is PRECIOUS so don’t waste your time on something that is not grounded. Have STANDARDS! ❤
Can you make a video on how men can be persistent in trying to be with you but that doesn’t mean his intentions are good and that’s he’s serious about that woman. Please 😊 I really hope you see this
Thank you for this ! Sometimes it’s hard for me to navigate my boyfriend’s insecurities but he’s genuinely amazing and I want to try to work through it
This video is spot on with the advice given especially no.2 , everyone is bringing a level of insecurity to the table, it’s a matter of how high is the level and can we both work with it 😊
It’s hard to not be defensive when you constantly continue to put him in the security place and he continues leave that “security place”. At the beginning of my relationship, my boyfriend was so insecure about the men who was talking to me. He would ask me “ who approached me, who text you”, taking my phone, being paranoid about what he didn’t see. It was so stressful to the point that I wanted to break up with him. He told me that it was because his ex cheated on him that he was behaving like that. I told him “I’m not your ex, learn how to trust me or we would break up”. He finally stopped his no sense after that 😒
This is so in point! I find that some insecure men can't handle an assertive, and confident woman. They don't want you to express your feelings, are very controlling, and want women to be submissive. Right out of the KS playbook. It's all about control and their past trauma. Hmm. Stephan, I need to talk to you.
For coaching and more, visit my site www.stephanspeaks.com/ or ❤️ Join my FREE text community. Text "LOVE" to 770-373-4246 or click here 👉 my.community.com/stephanspeaks or ❤️ Join my SPECIAL coaching program here 👉 www.receivingmyblessings.com - so many women are experiencing AMAZING results!
My boyfriend accused me of cheating on him because I fell asleep for two hours and didn’t text him back. No matter how much I tried to explain myself he just refused to believe me and had this entire narrative planned out in his head. He is extremely insecure. I just don’t know how to navigate the situation. I want to work through it with him but he clearly doesn’t trust me.
Stephan, i've been watching your videos for a few weeks now. i love the value you bring. and i laugh a lot. and it gives me words to describe things i see/feel. the things you talk about are sooo applicable through sooo many relationships in life, even though you springboard from the topic of dating. i like how common sense, how simple & basic your break downs are. i think about these relational things with regards to my work colleagues, friends, family & spouse. i allow these foundational elements to help me understand if i did marry the right man! i think i did, but we certainly have a lot of foundations that weren't set right (even though there was a lot of consciousness at the start to try to set things right. as i see it now, we didn't have great information or much of it). your videos are helping me define what i feel is off but don't know is off. if only i had this 9 years ago! nevertheless ------- main point is ------ love the videos, love the fun and laughs. i thought to myself, this time watching, it would be cool if you started doing videos of CONVERSATIONS or DIALOGUES between men & women and break it down - where things go pear shaped, or how it affects the health of the situation etc etc etc. you are pretty talented with your analysis, happy to listen to your videos for hours.
Currently dealing with this . He was cheated on yrs ago long before we got together. If don’t reply to him or answer him calls he gives me the silent treatment . I want to marry this person but right now I want him to leave me alone. I had my Own insecurities but I rationalize thoughts and move on . He will believe his own thoughts and I can’t do it anymore
Yes, having peace and Confidence ..women should not lose their identity to please a man ..I love wearing sexy clothes ..enhancing my feminity ....sexy and descent...if a man is not comfortable with that ... that's fine we move forward with another person ...Never lose your identity
Yessss this happened to me recently. Some men feel emasculated by women who are naturally sensual and sexy. Moving on to the man who loves and appreciate this❤
@@absolve4024 We are visual creatures and we judge book by it's cover no matter what you or somebody else would like this is biology ,, you dress that way no problem but you'll be my hoe for the night never a wife.
Good talk, Stephan, very good.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I've been there twice. Amd twice, I've walked away. 1st time with a husband, 2nd time with a potential boyfriend. SMH
I’m enjoying your content. Camera quality seems better. Sound quality has improved too. Congratulations on your earned successes, God continues to use you.
Question-How to date an insecure man? Answer-Don’t, you’ll only end up loosing yourself. I speak from experience. They aren’t loyal. It’s definitely not a walk in the park. If you do decide to stay, make sure you’re strong enough to handle everything that comes along with it.
Well everybody has insecurities, and it’s ok if it doesn’t impact the relationship and if the person is aware of it and is working on it. But when he is starting to be controlling and stuff then yeah cut him off.
Lol I know your lessons like the back of my hand now. I finish your sentences and everything. Two years of well teaching from you to me 🙌🏾. And yes I do practice it. Thank you so much!
This has helped me realize where I am mentally with our process. We're in counseling and he started individual counseling but changed behavior is not in sight. 😢
I've found that The BEST Way 2 deal with insecurity is: 1. DON'T! 2. LIMIT Any and ALL contact with this person 3. Don't TRY to CHG his MIND... It's HIS and you cannot control ANYTHING going ON with IT!😂🎉 MOST importantly BE GOOD to YOU! Do😢 NT Think 4a MINUTE that his insecurity has anything to do with YOU... A lot of Narcissists USE insecurity to keep YOU off balance and THEMSELVES the ONLY Real FOCUS of the relationship... OK, I'm 👍🏾DONE ✅😂🎉
You're so Right also. I agreed to walk away it was destroying my spirt. He had a bad marriage and childhood trauma He was taking things out on me. I hadn't done nothing to him but tried to love him. He wouldn't let me, so I left.
Yeah..this is a huge one for me right now. The guy i'm talking to we are currently long distance (hes 4 hours away) and I can tell he really likes me. He calls me everyday and is super attentive and a great listener! However he's constantly saying he's worried I won't like his height or feel the vibe as much when we are on the phone as in person. I'm trying to be patient with him but it's becoming a bit discouraging. I already expressed to him I don't care about his height, he's like 2 inches taller than me. again, idc. but he keeps bringing it up and I feel like he projecting that onto me. He went from expressing he's worried I will be shallow to expressing that HE is worried HE will be shallow towards me.
He was so insecure and I couldn't recognize it in the begining. It was always a crisis with him, that he created. His thoughts process was flawed from having a mentally ill mother. Why, didnt I run when he actually stated "my family is dysfunctional?"
I was in this kind of a relationship he is so broken inside him the only person is telling the truth is him.he can create something in his mind that is not even true .I have Run for my life but I still love him but I will heal thanks
Get to know the guy, and be honest with yourself when you see red flags or potential issues. Communicate, make healthy efforts to make it work, set boundaries, but dont be afraid to recignize when it becomes toxic and cut ties. Dont lose yourself over someone elses insecurities, know when its safe to give soneone a chance, and know its okay if its not working out to leave. Dating isnt to find 'the one' on your first date, it takes time and you most likely will have many bad relationships before you learn all your needs and desires and boundaries
I’m a good woman that is honest and the guy I’m dating is always accusing me of cheating on him. He has stopped talking to me as much. I have done all I could to make him happy.
The last sentence hit home - at the beginning I stated him talking to his ex wife (no kids) was not acceptable to me. First he completely disregarded my feelings so I walked away. He came back saying he was wrong and no contact with her was needed. Five months later he admits they are still communicating and once again it’s my fault for not accepting feelings disregard. He appeased but actually his core value this was ok hadn’t changed.
i was in a relationship with an extremely insecure man, he had depression but wouldn’t take his meds, because of partially not having insurance and because he didn’t want to better himself. he tried to use his mental illness as a manipulative tactic. i had to leave, i can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped
Boy it is a dream to cut off and be completely detached in every way from an insecure man. This is a warning to all wmn.....when you see the consistent red flags about a men that he refuses to address and work on....RUN!!! Wmn tend to stay longer due to the emotional bond, but I promise you the longer you stay the worse it gets for you! I have always been confident and secure....after dealing with my insecure ex his insecurities transferred to me. I had to go to therapy and get back right with God to not only come back to myself...but be even better! AMEN! ❤❤
I dated an insecure man for less than 4 months and he was passive-aggressive, projected his insecurities onto me, and felt and played the victim when I addressed an issue with him. It is exhausting and it is not worth my time and peace. I left. Don't waste your time, you are not their therapist. I did the work to heal my trauma and become a confident person with a full life, I don't have the energy for this nonsense.
Thank you for sharing keep up the good work looking forward to seeing your VIDEO again so beautiful great job I have been praying to almighty God about this
My husband is so insecure. Sometimes i get tired of his insecurities. Not always beliving me, his complaint against what i wear 😢 who calls and who i call. I really don't know what to do 😢
This is very true i wish i had this information in high school. We both jad insecurities and he was always accusing me of cheating and he was always flirting with other girls calling rhem pretty infront of them and giving them a lot of attention. In the end i let it get to me and i messed it up.
I dated an insecure man. He constantly would try to make me jealous by saying what other woman fancied him or how nice it was talking to this woman etc. Then when I pointed out he was doing this he would flip it and say it was ME being jealous and insecure. Constantly trying to make me doubt my own reality
Well, the tips are effective and may help someone. But for myself, I clearly decided long ago that an insecure man is not my story and not my challenge. I am a self-sufficient and independent girl who knows what she wants in life and how to achieve it through hard work. And an insecure man can be in his behavior, in his words and in his actions. And believe me, this is the worst thing. Insecure in his feelings, love or not love, want and will not, well, like a 5-year-old child. Why do I need this game?
I have a habit of saying "ewww" when I see something gross or if I spill something. One time, this guy at work was trying to talk to me in the break room. I was pouring coffee at the same time and some spilled. I instinctually said "eww!" and he said "you're ewww!" then walked out of the room. Didn't know what his problem was. Then a couple years later, a plumber was looking into an issue with my sink. He took a picture of the crusty pipe that was eroded and showed it to me. Once again, I said "eww". He was then like "It's not ewww!!" in a pissed off kind of voice. It took a while for me to realize some guys are so insecure and triggered by hearing the word "ewww", eventhough it's not directed towards them. Maybe when they were younger, they heard a girl say eww and it scarred them for life 😂 sorry but that's some extra fragile sh*t. I say "ewww" if I see something gross and my husband is in the next room or if he's around, he just asks me what's up. He just laughs it off because he's a real man. I have no time to walk on eggshells around people who think you're insulting them when you're not even paying attention to them.
i have a question because you talk about Connection (as opposed to chemistry). how do you know what Connection is? is it from your extensive observation of others, or is it personal experience?
Could you please do a video about when a women loses herself in a relationship because of spending to much time with each other and not having a life outside of each other? Or maybe give me some tips please I love your videos and they help me so much. Me and my girlfriend just broke up because I ignored her the past 6 months when she kept saying she was losing herself I made her feel like she had to be with me and I put my life on hold for her I did every mistake in the book man. I’m lucky enough that we are really good friends now and we both told each other we are breaking up to better ourselves and be better for each other when we do cross paths again, we both said we want nobody else in life and I truly believe I will cross paths with her again l hope sooner then later. The worst part is I want to do this healing journey together but she wants to do it by herself and I’m just trying my hardest to respect that but I’m in such denial I never thought it could end she’s such a good girl.
I’m a new sub and I can’t get enough of this content! My marriage thanks you❤. Do you have an opinion on how to handle a man with a “wandering eye”? Thanks so much for all this content!
I think you should not worry where he gets his appetite as long as he gets his dinner at home. We all look, that's why we have eyes. As long as he's not looking at porn flix. That is toxic.
❤Start your journey to healing by getting your copy of the bestselling book "Love After Heartbreak" here --> www.loveafterheartbreak.com
😏🦁 🤭
Thank you for your time and effort. May God continue to bless you and your message
But also, alot of men act like they are overly confident, but really, it's hiding their insecurities
So you might not even know or recognize right away
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I believe being vulnerable with the right person is a blessing 🙌
Sooooooo so so so TRUE!!!
Exactly !
Only their confidence calls ARROGANCE 👍🏻
An insecure man nearly destroyed me. No amount of reassurance, dressing down, staying home and not seeing my friends was enough for him. His favorite line " it's not that I don't trust you, I just don't trust other people." So he made me responsible for the actions and intentions of other people, sometimes people I didn't even know or see. Always 21 questions, always accusing, always snooping, always always always. Sometimes there's nothing you can do.
Most men that do things like that are doing dirt themselves so they start to project their wrong doings onto you.Hopefully your healed and worked on loving yourself hun. I’m sending you love and light.
I’m there too but not for long I just can’t anymore it’s not peace to be in a life or relationship like that
This SAME scenario could have cost me my life.
Always wanting to do a video call when I say I am stepping out. Ah ah Chineke!
oh SH*T ...MINE SAID THAT *EXACT* SAME LINE TO ME. He did all the same stuff, acted in the same way, accused and snooped in the same way...
An insecure man is exhausting. My looks have suddenly become a problem to him and its accusations every day in every phone call. I've lost interest in him
Don’t waste your time!
It’s too exhausting!😮😮
That’s exactly my problem as Stephan said in the beginning he has a lot of great qualities but the constant accusations you have a problem with how I dress, I can’t hang out with male friends my patience has its limits 😩
@@ydaniafaldor4558how do I deal with this? I’m having this same issue man. I’ve been so patient but now I feel like every time I’ll try go out have fun on a lunch even, he might have an issue with it as well.
Run. Fast,
Good
8 years of my young life wasted on an insecure man. I don’t even recognize myself, I doubt myself a lot when I use to be very sure and confident, I myself have become very insecure when I use to be quite secure in myself. Ladies if a man has insecurities and doesn’t want to face and fix it just LEAVE!!! Time is way to precious
You need to have your own boundaries and hold it. You placed it there for a reason. Someone that respects and loves you will Honor that. You are worth the effort and don’t forget that! Good luck!
Because his insecurities are going to fall on you!! Never let a man do this to you stay strong and confident at alll times!
Reject - internalizing his issues..... I needed this video a year ago, I was willing to change, adjust at every accusation, work on myself, but I realized, I can't accept punishment like I'm a child. I realize that when he was hurt, he wanted to hurt me back (emotionally) and would make things up to tell me I was flawed... and even though everyone needs improvement, I am not willing to accept his claims as truths... If every month, there is something I'm doing, then obviously, I'm not for you..
I lost myself trying to conform and am now struggling to reconfirm that I am a capable, reasonable, beautiful, talented & smart...
WOW! 😔
Some men are struggling to be a complete man, but I've seen the potential and I've seen the lies
Sad 😥..... Glad u left that clown....kudos to u 💪
@@jayc5756
Same thing happened to me.😢
This video is very important for us women to learn. Connecting with a broken man can leave you drained and heartbroken. Thank you Stephan 😊 🙏
My pleasure ❤️
True
my truth😢
If you stay with an insecure man and keep giving him chance after chance, he will always blame you because in his screwed up head, he truly believes you're doing something behind his back and he will eventuality hurt you and leave you broken-hearted in the end. If you see the red flags, don't even think twice. Just RUN!
True
So true!
You basically went against this whole video lol
An insecure man is a dangerous man. Do not stay.
Pls give him no chance. Run fast!
I think the answer to so many relationship issues in the world today is wait as long as possible to get naked. Sex complicates things with hormones and strong emotions. This isn't a religious thing, and it doesn't need to be hold out for marriage. Just take the time to form a strong foundation and find out about each other's needs and wants.
💯
Honestly solid advice
A confident woman who stays with an insecure man will slowly start watering herself down so much that in the end she won’t even recognize herself anymore. Ask me how I know. 🥺
Have to build back your confidence when that was probably not an issue before.
But you feel like you can't live without him and can't marry anyone else.Wht to do?It is so confusing.
😢
You are right
I dated someone that had insecurity problems for three years thinking that it was going to change it never change.
I saw the little red flags, I noticed that he was insecure but I didn’t have an issue with that because I didn’t know it was going to really impact the relationship in a bad way. I broke up with him days ago. He’s a really good guy and I love him so much but I just can’t handle constant accusations and bad assumptions.
Same here its exhausting
I agree with this! Not everyone is going to be 100% "healed." Shoot, I'm not! I find that word is so overused nowadays. As long as the person is not toxic or hurtful to you, there is a possibility. We can never change anyone so they have to want to do the work themselves. Love your content and find it very insightful and helpful, thank you!
Thanksp that word really blessed me
Sad I had to scroll down so far for this take. Nuance is key, and Stephan speaks on it so well
No one can love anyone through something they are not ready to change or if they do not see a reason to change. A person can be there to support you if they want change. I have gone through my own healing and it came at the time I was finished healing. There is no need to speak to someone who is there to support you in a negative way. Be gracious that someone is there to support you during your time of need. In today's world most people are worried about themselves only. Be grateful.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
An opportunity for growth should NEVER be rejected
Absolutely!
being able to differentiate between possessiveness and protectiveness is exactly what shields women from abusive relationships. but at the same time, a lot of abusive women use protective empaths themselves. we need to also be aware of the person who needs to be protected. playing the victim can be a manipulation tactic
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Very well said. Yes we need to identify the one needing protection ❤ the innocent.. the victim.. & yes the manipulator will reverse that picture to onlookers. Victims have more police orders on them rather than the abuser. Is the insanity working w physical or psychological abuse.
It’s a lot of work how you put the naturally occurring process between relationships.. into neutral words w out stigmas, diagnosis or labels & create dialogue.. w ‘demand’ or options of work..
So right on w boundaries- even when they came out naturally knowing this circle from start to finish. .. & besides work a practice of 3x’s a week along w seeking him out.. was very & still seems lopsided.. however looking in , trauma can be seen , w the why , is extensive , trauma that can’t be looked at w out safety.. however again experience says the boundaries ran over right away were fundamental for a woman w extroverted personality & emotive..
Running over boundaries persists.. yet is the woman a fool to expect it’d be different w her? Role is for man to initiate.. however there is a compelling saving Grace towards this but it’s not something to take on single handedly.. nor can movement w out assurance of boundaries internalized rather than entertained superficially
Yessss. I met my ex husband in 1988. He tried to take my life once he realized that I got therapy from childhood trauma. He saw me changing. It triggered his insecurities. In the beginning I did ignore the red flags. Awesome Video Stephan!!! Truth sets us free. Actually I did not know I was codependent. Thank God I reached out for help.
I went through this in a marriage of 13 years. Left me insecure and unsure of who I am as a woman. My healing is still a work in progress. I enabled him, and I did all of the changing. I lived every day trying not to make him mad or jealous. He became narcissistic and possessive.
22 years for me...
@@xxuc7191 Idk how yall women do that. Mann. SMH
@@jayc5756 no idea. As soon as I see it I'm done I'm not changing who I am for anyone
24 years for me.. i care for him, but im not in love with him anymore.
We all have past hurt from childhood or even adulthood. What matters most is that we are aware and have willingness to grow and heal. Not every person has insight; which is an essential element of growth. Some individuals; instead of owning their stuff, just want to blame their partner. ☹️ I couldn't be with someone so controlling, but sometimes that is subtle and creeps in over time. 🫤Great video just in time for my birthday!🎉💓
This why it’s important to have a conversation when you’re on the good term about your expectations and boundaries in the relationship. When have issues, talk but don’t tolerate bad behaviors if you tried your best but your partner refuses to help you both grow healthier in the relationship ❤ it takes two!
I also agree. Both working on themselves and also together. You always have to want to do it for yourself, to better yourself and then work together
💯
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I agree.
Please stay CLEAR from INSECURE people! They are TOXIC! Set standards. A grounded woman is going to be with a grounded man. It’s simple, I’m not going to purchase a lemon vehicle knowing it’s a hassle to constantly visit the repair shop and it just breaks down anyway. Know your worth! How many individuals do YOU know who suffer from insecurities really get help and change themselves? Time is PRECIOUS so don’t waste your time on something that is not grounded. Have STANDARDS! ❤
Thank you
@@tnicolestylz959 You’re welcome and have a PROSPEROUS day!
Can you make a video on how men can be persistent in trying to be with you but that doesn’t mean his intentions are good and that’s he’s serious about that woman. Please 😊 I really hope you see this
I believe I saw others do a video on that. Maybe Steph. But yeah, that's very true too. They do it for ego.
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Thank you for this ! Sometimes it’s hard for me to navigate my boyfriend’s insecurities but he’s genuinely amazing and I want to try to work through it
Crazy this is exactly what I am going through
I hope the video helps
Me too, girl. Me too...
This video is spot on with the advice given especially no.2 , everyone is bringing a level of insecurity to the table, it’s a matter of how high is the level and can we both work with it 😊
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
It’s hard to not be defensive when you constantly continue to put him in the security place and he continues leave that “security place”. At the beginning of my relationship, my boyfriend was so insecure about the men who was talking to me. He would ask me “ who approached me, who text you”, taking my phone, being paranoid about what he didn’t see. It was so stressful to the point that I wanted to break up with him. He told me that it was because his ex cheated on him that he was behaving like that. I told him “I’m not your ex, learn how to trust me or we would break up”. He finally stopped his no sense after that 😒
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
This is so in point! I find that some insecure men can't handle an assertive, and confident woman. They don't want you to express your feelings, are very controlling, and want women to be submissive. Right out of the KS playbook. It's all about control and their past trauma. Hmm. Stephan, I need to talk to you.
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Express their feelings, controlling and want you to be submissive. That part sis.
So what is the meaning of submissive to you and what’s the definition of a confident woman
Your videos and books are helping me heal.❤️
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
My boyfriend accused me of cheating on him because I fell asleep for two hours and didn’t text him back. No matter how much I tried to explain myself he just refused to believe me and had this entire narrative planned out in his head. He is extremely insecure. I just don’t know how to navigate the situation. I want to work through it with him but he clearly doesn’t trust me.
My ex thought I was cheating cause I fell asleep for 20 minutes…
Those people aren't worth it
Wow!...
Your videos are so enlightening. So true, my ex showed insecurity early on in the relationship but I rationalized it. 😔
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I’m always honest with him. He has asked me why I won’t talk to him as much
And what did you say?
Stephan, i've been watching your videos for a few weeks now. i love the value you bring. and i laugh a lot. and it gives me words to describe things i see/feel. the things you talk about are sooo applicable through sooo many relationships in life, even though you springboard from the topic of dating. i like how common sense, how simple & basic your break downs are. i think about these relational things with regards to my work colleagues, friends, family & spouse. i allow these foundational elements to help me understand if i did marry the right man! i think i did, but we certainly have a lot of foundations that weren't set right (even though there was a lot of consciousness at the start to try to set things right. as i see it now, we didn't have great information or much of it). your videos are helping me define what i feel is off but don't know is off. if only i had this 9 years ago! nevertheless ------- main point is ------ love the videos, love the fun and laughs. i thought to myself, this time watching, it would be cool if you started doing videos of CONVERSATIONS or DIALOGUES between men & women and break it down - where things go pear shaped, or how it affects the health of the situation etc etc etc. you are pretty talented with your analysis, happy to listen to your videos for hours.
Currently dealing with this . He was cheated on yrs ago long before we got together. If don’t reply to him or answer him calls he gives me the silent treatment . I want to marry this person but right now I want him to leave me alone. I had my
Own insecurities but I rationalize thoughts and move on . He will believe his own thoughts and I can’t do it anymore
Yes, having peace and Confidence ..women should not lose their identity to please a man ..I love wearing sexy clothes ..enhancing my feminity ....sexy and descent...if a man is not comfortable with that ... that's fine we move forward with another person ...Never lose your identity
Yessss this happened to me recently. Some men feel emasculated by women who are naturally sensual and sexy. Moving on to the man who loves and appreciate this❤
@@absolve4024 We are visual creatures and we judge book by it's cover no matter what you or somebody else would like this is biology ,, you dress that way no problem but you'll be my hoe for the night never a wife.
Good talk, Stephan, very good.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I've been there twice. Amd twice, I've walked away. 1st time with a husband, 2nd time with a potential boyfriend. SMH
Butterflies do not speak the language of caterpillars
I’m enjoying your content. Camera quality seems better. Sound quality has improved too. Congratulations on your earned successes, God continues to use you.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
You Always speaking All Facts! I Totally Agree bro. Great tips.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Question-How to date an insecure man?
Answer-Don’t, you’ll only end up loosing yourself.
I speak from experience. They aren’t loyal. It’s definitely not a walk in the park. If you do decide to stay, make sure you’re strong enough to handle everything that comes along with it.
As spoon as I notice an insecurity with a man. I'm out. I'm not dealing with it at all. Period
Well everybody has insecurities, and it’s ok if it doesn’t impact the relationship and if the person is aware of it and is working on it. But when he is starting to be controlling and stuff then yeah cut him off.
Lol I know your lessons like the back of my hand now. I finish your sentences and everything. Two years of well teaching from you to me 🙌🏾. And yes I do practice it. Thank you so much!
This has helped me realize where I am mentally with our process. We're in counseling and he started individual counseling but changed behavior is not in sight. 😢
PERFECT TIMING FUC YEAHH
This is true, but whennit continuous questioning like I can't, it's be too much.
I've found that The BEST Way 2 deal with insecurity is: 1. DON'T! 2. LIMIT Any and ALL contact with this person 3. Don't TRY to CHG his MIND... It's HIS and you cannot control ANYTHING going ON with IT!😂🎉 MOST importantly BE GOOD to YOU! Do😢 NT Think 4a MINUTE that his insecurity has anything to do with YOU... A lot of Narcissists USE insecurity to keep YOU off balance and THEMSELVES the ONLY Real FOCUS of the relationship... OK, I'm 👍🏾DONE ✅😂🎉
Very True
You're so Right also. I agreed to walk away it was destroying my spirt. He had a bad marriage and childhood trauma
He was taking things out on me. I hadn't done nothing to him but tried to love him. He wouldn't let me, so I left.
Yeah..this is a huge one for me right now. The guy i'm talking to we are currently long distance (hes 4 hours away) and I can tell he really likes me. He calls me everyday and is super attentive and a great listener! However he's constantly saying he's worried I won't like his height or feel the vibe as much when we are on the phone as in person. I'm trying to be patient with him but it's becoming a bit discouraging. I already expressed to him I don't care about his height, he's like 2 inches taller than me. again, idc. but he keeps bringing it up and I feel like he projecting that onto me. He went from expressing he's worried I will be shallow to expressing that HE is worried HE will be shallow towards me.
Grateful I came across your TH-cam channel. You have helped me understand not only men, but myself as well. Appreciative 🙏
He was so insecure and I couldn't recognize it in the begining. It was always a crisis with him, that he created. His thoughts process was flawed from having a mentally ill mother. Why, didnt I run when he actually stated "my family is dysfunctional?"
I was in this kind of a relationship he is so broken inside him the only person is telling the truth is him.he can create something in his mind that is not even true .I have Run for my life but I still love him but I will heal thanks
Amazing video!! Thank you for wisdom and knowledge. Everyone should watch your videos . You speak very clearly and concisely. Easy to understand. 💯
I've been with an insecure man for 32 years & I know I'm partial to blame because I should've left a long time ago.
Get to know the guy, and be honest with yourself when you see red flags or potential issues. Communicate, make healthy efforts to make it work, set boundaries, but dont be afraid to recignize when it becomes toxic and cut ties. Dont lose yourself over someone elses insecurities, know when its safe to give soneone a chance, and know its okay if its not working out to leave. Dating isnt to find 'the one' on your first date, it takes time and you most likely will have many bad relationships before you learn all your needs and desires and boundaries
This video comes up exactly when I needed this!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
So sad to consider most people with the wrong person.
I’m a good woman that is honest and the guy I’m dating is always accusing me of cheating on him. He has stopped talking to me as much. I have done all I could to make him happy.
Sometimes the accusers are the ones who are doing it.
The last sentence hit home - at the beginning I stated him talking to his ex wife (no kids) was not acceptable to me. First he completely disregarded my feelings so I walked away. He came back saying he was wrong and no contact with her was needed. Five months later he admits they are still communicating and once again it’s my fault for not accepting feelings disregard. He appeased but actually his core value this was ok hadn’t changed.
i was in a relationship with an extremely insecure man, he had depression but wouldn’t take his meds, because of partially not having insurance and because he didn’t want to better himself. he tried to use his mental illness as a manipulative tactic. i had to leave, i can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped
Great video Stephan! Where were you 10 years ago. Everything you said is on point. Don’t think it’s going to change because it doesn’t.
Me and my bf can't meet a lot everything is on online and it sucks it creates more stress
Long distance adds more
I need to hear this great advice couch i really appreciate you couch peace and blessings🙏🏽👍✌️❤️
this video was very helpful on how i should approach my clingy boyfriend.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
You described my ex perfectly you cannot be any more accurate. WOW
Please listen to him. My boyfriend was a bodybuilder and it got worse abs worse. I thought it was so sweet and protective at first
Thank you so much. Is there hope to work things out with an insecure man who not only lashes out but also gives silent treatment?
I always feel empowered by your amazing relationship advice videos. 😊👍
I'm glad to hear that, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I am married but I have a guy best friend who is interested in me. 😊
This is good info right here!! ❤
thank you very much
Im insecure until someone show me y i need to trust them...
RIGHT!! The ability to actually trust someone works wonders
The problem is even if they do your mind tricks you to believe otherwise. That’s why people need to seek therapy and truly heal.
I've been betrayed many times so I find it really hard to trust people. Although I try not to let it show.
@@arebelscum9495that’s why you need to heal. You’re gonna keep attracting people who do these things until you heal.
Boy it is a dream to cut off and be completely detached in every way from an insecure man. This is a warning to all wmn.....when you see the consistent red flags about a men that he refuses to address and work on....RUN!!! Wmn tend to stay longer due to the emotional bond, but I promise you the longer you stay the worse it gets for you! I have always been confident and secure....after dealing with my insecure ex his insecurities transferred to me. I had to go to therapy and get back right with God to not only come back to myself...but be even better! AMEN! ❤❤
Thank you Stephan. So profound. 💯🙌🏼
My pleasure ❤️
This is so spot on. Thank you Stephan!
I dated an insecure man for less than 4 months and he was passive-aggressive, projected his insecurities onto me, and felt and played the victim when I addressed an issue with him. It is exhausting and it is not worth my time and peace. I left. Don't waste your time, you are not their therapist. I did the work to heal my trauma and become a confident person with a full life, I don't have the energy for this nonsense.
Thank you for sharing this information.
I really wanna be with this man but he’s so insecure and stubborn. Idk what to do ☹️ I don’t want to let go…
if you love him dont give up on him
So happy i found channel thank you 😊
Is it Sunday already? I ain't know you was preaching on a Wednesday. 👏
Thank you for sharing keep up the good work looking forward to seeing your VIDEO again so beautiful great job I have been praying to almighty God about this
Yessss, reassuring and empathy.
This was terrific!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Went through it for 3 years had to leave
My husband is so insecure. Sometimes i get tired of his insecurities. Not always beliving me, his complaint against what i wear 😢 who calls and who i call. I really don't know what to do 😢
Excellent video thank you
im going insane from my boyfriemd being crazy and accusing me for things i never did
This is very true i wish i had this information in high school. We both jad insecurities and he was always accusing me of cheating and he was always flirting with other girls calling rhem pretty infront of them and giving them a lot of attention. In the end i let it get to me and i messed it up.
I dated an insecure man. He constantly would try to make me jealous by saying what other woman fancied him or how nice it was talking to this woman etc. Then when I pointed out he was doing this he would flip it and say it was ME being jealous and insecure. Constantly trying to make me doubt my own reality
God bless Stephen 🎉
The words are "string you along" and "not take accountability" 😂😂😅😅😂
I wish I would have found thIs video 28 yrs ago.actually I wish I could have known this information when I was a teenager dating.
🙏
I love you Stephan
Well, the tips are effective and may help someone. But for myself, I clearly decided long ago that an insecure man is not my story and not my challenge. I am a self-sufficient and independent girl who knows what she wants in life and how to achieve it through hard work.
And an insecure man can be in his behavior, in his words and in his actions.
And believe me, this is the worst thing. Insecure in his feelings, love or not love, want and will not, well, like a 5-year-old child.
Why do I need this game?
Damn and yes, the quality of the man you attract is a manifestation of what is inside you. If you are with an insecure man, it’s time to look at why
How do get a one on one with you??
I have a habit of saying "ewww" when I see something gross or if I spill something. One time, this guy at work was trying to talk to me in the break room. I was pouring coffee at the same time and some spilled. I instinctually said "eww!" and he said "you're ewww!" then walked out of the room. Didn't know what his problem was. Then a couple years later, a plumber was looking into an issue with my sink. He took a picture of the crusty pipe that was eroded and showed it to me. Once again, I said "eww". He was then like "It's not ewww!!" in a pissed off kind of voice. It took a while for me to realize some guys are so insecure and triggered by hearing the word "ewww", eventhough it's not directed towards them. Maybe when they were younger, they heard a girl say eww and it scarred them for life 😂 sorry but that's some extra fragile sh*t. I say "ewww" if I see something gross and my husband is in the next room or if he's around, he just asks me what's up. He just laughs it off because he's a real man. I have no time to walk on eggshells around people who think you're insulting them when you're not even paying attention to them.
Thank you!
My pleasure ❤️
Can u make a video about "letting go" of a long-term relationship 20 years long.
Any insight on when 'going on the healing journey with them' may become enabling?
i have a question because you talk about Connection (as opposed to chemistry). how do you know what Connection is? is it from your extensive observation of others, or is it personal experience?
My video on why you need a connection will give you the clarity you need. Check it out here 👉 th-cam.com/video/wTX9k6ajhvA/w-d-xo.html
Connection is when you are interested in what each other thinks. Chemistry is only about being hot for each other.
I’m sorry but insecure men are really emotionally damaging for me
Could you please do a video about when a women loses herself in a relationship because of spending to much time with each other and not having a life outside of each other? Or maybe give me some tips please I love your videos and they help me so much. Me and my girlfriend just broke up because I ignored her the past 6 months when she kept saying she was losing herself I made her feel like she had to be with me and I put my life on hold for her I did every mistake in the book man. I’m lucky enough that we are really good friends now and we both told each other we are breaking up to better ourselves and be better for each other when we do cross paths again, we both said we want nobody else in life and I truly believe I will cross paths with her again l hope sooner then later. The worst part is I want to do this healing journey together but she wants to do it by herself and I’m just trying my hardest to respect that but I’m in such denial I never thought it could end she’s such a good girl.
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
I’m a new sub and I can’t get enough of this content! My marriage thanks you❤. Do you have an opinion on how to handle a man with a “wandering eye”? Thanks so much for all this content!
I think you should not worry where he gets his appetite as long as he gets his dinner at home. We all look, that's why we have eyes. As long as he's not looking at porn flix. That is toxic.
tell women to stop dressing as hoes then we wont look