Financial Life of both gender in this century is beginning to change. Now Women are now being successful to their Financial Life by making change. Growing extra income stream (Passive income) and investing has been a great tool for this.
@@oliviawalker5033 yes it is! Investing is a proven way to get richer. You have to play your cards right. I make am extra $2k weekly from my investment portfolio
I love this quote by Ramit Sethi from his book "I will teach you to be rich" - “Spend extravagantly on the things you love, and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.” It relates a lot to what you mentioned about still spending money on facials if it's something that brings you joy. As long as you have control over your finances and budget, you shouldn't feel bad about treating yourself sometimes. :)
My ex used to criticize me for spending money on going to musical concerts. This was a hobby that brought me joy and happiness in being alive and celebrating life. It shamed me to no longer experience it while we were together. Now being in life post covid, I cherish those memories I have being in crowds and large groups of people and miss that energy.
Your ex did not respect what interested you. He probably expected you to respect his hobbies tho....Glad you got rid of him. And I reckon as well as finding joy, you may find true love at one of these concerts one day, post covid ;)
You and your ex were just on different pages about money and life. In the future, not only should you make that a point to mention your hobby to your partner, plan for them together/create a sinking fund and see what you are willing to give up for that hobby. For example, show how you will reduce your spending overall for the year so that your hobby won’t affect the budget.
I recently read that there's no such thing as work/life balance. Rather, we need work boundaries because we feel pressure to do it all. But its hard not to feel guilty about being firm about the boundaries (but I'm working on it).
I agree with you on this. I can afford to get my nails AND hair done AND I have no credit card debt, invest, and pay off my student loans every single month. I still am trying to get over this guilt hurdle but I am so glad you are addressing this. Such a boss!
I live in a single parent household and my mom has never been good with money (she's always made it work though) so I never really had a model of how to be financially literate. I appreciate people and channels like yours that make it more palpable to understand
(Mostly in my experience) men: "makeup is such a waste of money, it's expensive and it's shallow, you'd save so much money if you didn't wear it" My boss and literally anyone if I show up to work without makeup on: "unprofessional, dirty, disgusting, inappropriately dressed..."
This is absolutely amazing!! I’m a finance major and everyone seems so surprised when I tell them...but my guy friends who are finance majors get asked “oh awesome what do you want to do with that” like okayyy
YES TO TAKING FINANCIAL CONTROL OF OUR LIVES!! I definitely want to learn about money but growing up my family didnt include me into those decisions / learnings. Only my brother got the opportunity to learn from my dad and that is SO FRUSTRATING. I know with my future kids, I will make sure every one of my kids will get that financial literacy so they dont have to go hunt for that information on their own!!
My mom grew up in a poor household so she taught me how to manage my money and I'm thankful for that. When I first started working, I was so happy to save lots of money but depression came and I started to spend everything on useless things. I feel so guilty for it but I'm starting to save again thanks to your videos about budgeting 🙏
Embracing handling your finances as a woman feels super powerful! There’s no special reason that women can’t handle financial decisions and investing. We can all learn, and talking with friends and family about money is super helpful. Knowing where my money is going every week and keeping track of money goals has been a game changer for me.
it's actually sad because earlier in my life, I believed and internally accepted these lies and felt that I needed to fulfill them. I've learned recently that this does not have to be the life for me, but it took me a long time to figure it out! the grooming gap is so real
Dang Aja, always hitting the nail on the head! Forever grateful for you initiating these conversations with women (and men) and empowering women to take control of their lives and finances. Coming from a woman who looks after all the family finances, is the primary breadwinner, works full time, uni part time while raising 3 and 11 y.o. sons. All made possible with my own hard work AND the love and support of a man who does not have egotistical issues with going against society’s norms of gender roles. x
Unfortunately my father passed early in life and money conversations were a pretty important topic between my mother and I. I earned an allowance by doing chores and started working at 16 to save up money for college and also the things I wanted. The education stopped for me once I hit college and these common financial talks seemed a bit more targeted to the male population. Thank you for your platform as well as other women that are talking about finance! It's always super informative and has helped me tremendously over the last 2 years since I found you!
I love this video. Since my husband and I have been married I am the only one who controls our finances. My husband just says “are we good to spend this?” 😂💛 Women you got this!
love this vid! I can somewhat relate to you as well Aja. Turning 32 this year, been out of debt for about 8 months now and it feels great however i feel like i have even MORE financial responsibility now to be smart, consistent and save my money for a HOUSE!! Hoping to be in my own home in 2 years. Hope you and Brian get in your own home soon! :)
You are so right, it is all about controlling the narrative. I was told a buttload of BS about money, that I didn't need to know, that I wasn't genetically equipped to deal with money, etc. And I was so brainwashed that I believed some of it for some time. I am a bit older than your average audience and I am so happy to see that things are changing more and more. All I can say is: never believe anyone who tells you you can't do it. You can, no matter what. ♥️♥️♥️
I love this topic. We also cannot forget that women are far more likely than men to be the primary spender in the household (buying goods that are used not just by the purchaser but for household use). This puts an enormous pressure on women to control not only personal spending but spending for others. There is a serious conflict between controlling household spending while also being expected to provide generously for the household, and in many cases doing it while being excluded from financial information and decisions. Edit to add to this that there is also an incredible mental load associated with being the primary spender.
YESSS!!😍😍😍 Women are constantly scrutinized for spending -- *seen as frivolous* or even investing/ saving *assumed that we must not know what we're doing* Working in an industry that's male dominated, it gets exhausting sometimes defending my money management... like why?🤷♀️ Seriously great points you made ugh thank you!❤🙏
Preach it loud, sister! I stumbled across this video and was immediately struck by how insightful your comments are on this topic Patriarchy is insidious and the only way to change the system is to recognize it and call it out. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!
Getting monthly facials pre-pandemic was one of the best things I was doing for myself. Also being away from the bro corporate environment while working from home this past year has been really refreshing.
I have been making more than my boyfriend for the past few years and the comments from other men about how a man needs to do x y and z to take care of me is so oppressive. I have always been more comfortable with money than my boyfriends, so these lies just seem so absurd and comical to me.
My friend worked while in school and was able to save up $20k but she had ZERO bills because she lived at home and her parents paid for all of her bills and school fees. I worked 3 jobs and did school full time and paid 90% of all my bills- rent, gas groceries etc etc and my mom was mad at me for not having a savings account.......
Same girl, I just now this past year have been getting more serious about saving and investing but I haven’t had the extra funds either to be able to do that.
@@cheyenne7982 i live with my boyfriend now and the bills are cheaper so I’m working on paying off credit card debt and building my savings but shittttt bro this is HARD
@@missmalexa Stick in there and don't forget to negotiate for better pay and take overtime whenever possible. Bettering your finances is a marathon, not a sprint!
Thank you so much for this video. I’m a high achieving young business woman but I’m still constantly worried about how I would be able to do it all with a family in the future. My boyfriend is so much more chill about the whole work life balance thing. He wouldn’t feel guilty about getting help from a nanny - so why should we feel obliged to do it all?
No4 is the worst. I'm so grateful that I have a partner who's making dinner right now while I'm studying for my uni exams (and watching a quick YT video haha). We both do every chore around the house, we both work, and if I have a hard time because of uni he does everything. HEAVEN.
The work life balance point is such an eye-opener for me, I never thought of how this thing I am striving for is really an unattainable goal that is mainly pushed on women
Thank you for speaking out on this topic. There are so many lies about women and money that need to be corrected, because we're freaking amazing with money!!! You're proof of that ;)
I have a business degree and various certifications in personal finance and my dad still prefers to *talk* about money with my brother's 20 year old friend who genuinely believes that you can DOUBLE your money in a year investing in the stock market...the length men devalues the knowledge of women and heavily relies on male validation baffles me everyday!!! Also, he's having those conversations as if a 20 year old male had the same level of knowledge as him ( a 50 year old man) but wouldn't take my advise on the topic seriously!!!
Oh another thing. I told my dad I was planning on getting my masters degree to help progress my career. He literally told me "you and your career. You need to focus on getting married and having kids. Women like you only care about money." Um wut? I hope other women aren't being told this and it's just my dad being an jerk.
I had the same experience with my dad😂😂when I told him I wanna to go back to school he told me that I already have a degree, what I have is enough... No its not👀 at the end of the day do what's best for you❤️
This is so old. Tell him men are not a good investment, not enough securities and often a liability when you view them in investment terms. Ask him if he wants you safe and happy. Women mostly end up with the kids if there is a separation, which often leaves them broke as they focus on getting a man instead of financial security, a good pre-nup, self-defense lessons, a professional network, their own bank account, and a good lawyer. Because these are the things that keep them safe.
@@TheNinnyfee 100% true, to me a man is not a long term plan at all. No matter what, I need to have it all firt by my own just in case. So many women's end up with nothing because they were not financially set I will not end up like this 👌
I would need more context of that conversation. Did your dad say it with your specific wants and goals in mind? Did you ever once tell him you wanted marriage and kids in the future? If so, he said the right thing. Most men talk bluntly because that’s how they were talked to so I’m sure the delivery hurt a little. If you do want a man, it’s probably good to get the advice from one. Especially from the man who raised you, supports you and wants the best for you. I’m assuming all of these things because typically, older men speak from experience and knowledge, in order to help. If you don’t want a man or kids, that’s perfectly fine too! In that case, do exactly what will make you the happiest. As Aja said, the work-life balance is nearly impossible and something has to give. Your choices right now are more school (your career) or a family. If you want both, school would have to wait a little and that’s fine too. So no, your dad is not a jerk. Just blunt af 🤷🏽♀️
There is a big BIG lie going around that being bad with money can be inherited, like eye color. I have a parent and grandparents that are financially irresponsible. Even though I have never shown those characteristics, I was treated as though I did and received a lot of random unsolicited criticism until I got older and laid down these lovely things called boundaries. Sending prosperity vibes~
I love this. So true. Frivolity has its place in our lives. It's discovering what that place is, and indulging it responsibly that keeps us balanced. Skincare is not about vanity. And taking care of it is expensive. The best ingredients cost more & it is tied to our self esteem. It is actually an investment. Good skin shouldn't be seen as a privilege. We don't need to do everything like men, we can't bc we're not.
I love this!!! Thank you so much, Aja. It got me to wake up, and realize I forgot about my goals because financial independence is so important to me seeing how it affected my mother's happiness. Hope to see more of this if it becomes like a series. Sending you lots of love! xx
En Pointe Aja! Thanks to you & watching you for several years just wanted to let you know I wrote out my own Financial Freedom Map a couple of years ago. It worked. AND as a Female Farmher who co runs the farm & doesn't get a wage you seriously were a wake up call to me as a Self Employed Individual I realised "well if Aja can be smart, strict & savvy enough to put money away for her retirement, then so can I". Yep it was hard at first, every single budget line shrank to nothing, no more eating out, no more coffees etc, & yes we ate close to rice & beans for almost 2 years. But 3 years down the track TODAY, I got the paperwork to open up a second retirement account with my fund that I contribute into AND I have way over the $1,500 required. It was BLOODY hard work, selling at Farmers Markets doesn't make a lot of money, but I strictly put away 10% pf the profits EVERY market. Ok sometimes that was $20, yep a paltry 20 bucks for a 7 day week & 7 long hours at a market. But today I'm paying myself for MY retirement, don't nobody else own that money BUT ME. Its great to hear you be honest about treating yourself, or having no fun - that's exactly how we lived & still do, if there's money there, we have a meal out. If not, we don't. I no longer feel pressured to compete in having a beautiful amazing exciting wonderful life - maybe I will in retirement.... Right now I'm just unstressed; to be financially ok. If my life looks boring on the outside - not my problem.
My mom raised me on her own on a low income. I learned a ton about money from the choices she made and our struggles when i was growing up. It was hard but i wouldnt trade it for anything because ive been able to do a lot with the financial skills i learned from being at such an extreme low in the family income scale
watching you for years now, I love your strength, your clear messages and your work for us women to be more independent and celebrate our strengths and uniquenesses. Thank you!! Many greetings from Germany
So glad i had family that :1) taught me finance from a young age ( i mean before I learned that alfabet) 2) had so many examples of couples who managed their money together and showed it to me and single women who were boss ass bitches with thier financial achievement Those 4 lies were never told to me from a person with significance so i never believed them Thank you for this inspiring video aja❤️
if you are budgeting properly and can afford facials-Get them! I recently saw a youtube video about depression. one of the causes mentioned had to do with skin care! We all should invest in ourselves. I'd rather pay $50 for a monthly facial than $125 for a 45 minute therapy session any day.
I don’t know personally anyone who works in corporate or is a high income earner or so I can’t relate to some of this. But the women you know in that type of field are within a system that was first built and structured by men. It’s always going to be hard to learn a system that wasn’t originally made to accommodate them. The struggles you’re saying they have, such as the competitive nature of that field, ARE very common in other fields in the US as well for that same reason. But I can relate when you said as a woman, I was not fully aware of money or money conversations. My brothers got way more information on money because my parents were aware that they would go into the world with an expectation of being a bread winner for their future households. Essentially, I would marry a man and be ok. As I got older, I wanted to fit in and wear and have what everyone else seemed to have. I spent thousands of dollars essentially trying to “keep up with the Joneses”. I made a lot of bad money choices, similar to the video you did that explained about bad money choices. Only in the last 3-4 few years, did I discover channels like yours and others that showed me financial security is MORE than just looking the part. Now, two years into my marriage, I spend way less money on everything. I am more financially knowledgeable and I have someone to keep me accountable. When you have a good partner, you won’t feel restricted, you should feel empowered to make better choices! Within a marriage, I don’t believe in “my money” and “your money”, it’s the “household’s” income. For people who are single, of course, your money is yours, but listen to stories from married women on how to pivot those singular ideas if marriage is what you ultimately want. So pre-marital/couple’s counseling is a must. Bringing two unique individuals with two different expectations around money and hoping them to just “figure it out” is complete madness. Both parties should agree to a financial plan, put it on paper and it’ll give you the greatest opportunity for success!
Hey, Aja! You touched on a lot of great topics, so just wanted to share all my thoughts as a gal with a different experience and perspective. :) The women in my family, plus any close female friends I've had, have all been more financially successful than their male SOs. I personally have never been told any of the lies that you name, and I don't feel like I've had any financial or career struggles -- or been left out of any of these types of conversations -- because I'm female. In fact, I think it has helped me because many workplaces want to look diverse. Everyone I encounter seems to expect that I'm just as knowledgeable and responsible as any man. In terms of pay inequality, I did some digging into this months ago, and when adjusted for experience, skill level and other factors, women make 98 cents for every dollar a man makes. This isn't that bad, as I don't think a perfect 1:1 ratio is realistic. Some say the true difference is between working moms and everyone else. As women, we often want to stay home with our kids, which reduces our earning potential. Can this change? I don't know... hard to say. Women are, on average, inherently more nurturing than men, and we tend to value interpersonal relationships more than career. I think it's a complex issue. As far as frivolous spending and what women vs men are told to focus on... I don't know about this. Maybe because I don't look at gender-specific magazines or articles? If women are being told to spend less on frivolous items, I think this is a good thing. And men should be told the same thing if they're not. It's just a good lesson for everyone, regardless of gender. And, last thing! :) The "grooming gap". Makes sense, and yes, women spend a LOT more in this area. But I don't blame it on the "patriarchy". I think women care more about how we look than men. Have you ever asked a man what he thinks of your new hair, and he's like, "what's the difference?" Haha. Also, I've seen plenty of women at the top, and they barely wear makeup, and their clothes are plain. But no one bats an eye. But I can see this as very industry-specific. I'm in tech, government and project management. Ultimately, I think there's a lot of nuance to these issues that we need to be aware of.
Another thing I would like to add: This might depend on different cultures, but generally I feel like women are often told to be modest, as if modesty were one of the most important virtues a women can live by. I think this holds back women in a lot of ways, they might not ask for a raise, or not be ambitious with money goals because they feel like it would be greedy to want that.
I've learned the work life balance is complete nonsense this year as well. When you give more to family verses work or work verses family unfortunately consequences come from that. I think I'm getting more comfortable not "having it all" and prioritizing wants/desires/happiness over society standards on pushing ourselves until we're broken (emotionally/physically) trying to balance it all.
Such an important video Aja! It's crazy, because women tend to be more savers and make less risky investments (if they do invest). The grooming gap is spot on! I frequently comment on Graham Stephen's videos about this. Women need to spend $$ on bras to even start to be taken seriously. Men don't have many of these expenses. They are already taken seriously.
well said. if u get a facial.it is a good investment in selfcare to deal with high expectations as women always struggle in our life include to take care of others. if your dad or bf were giving a hand while you dealed with financial issues it is good because they see your worth as person .dont pay attention on those hatters who are envy for that you arent alone. by the way , i love your blouse.
In my experience, most of the men I know actually have less financial IQ and EQ (or financial health? is that a thing?), but like to talk about money and how others should use their money.
I just got my BA in Business and I took a class called microeconomics of development. We studied how impoverished people spent and managed money in poor countries. It was interesting to learn that when women were widowed, their money was better managed. Women tended to spend money on their kids. When men managed money it was common they still bought alcohol and cigarettes no matter how much the family was struggling to feed their children. So that "fact" that women spend money frivolously made me laugh.
If those studies were just on impoverished people, then that doesn’t speak to the average, everyday person. The high income earners Aja just mentioned don’t spend that way or worry about food in the example you gave. Different incomes spend on different things.
@@BreannLaFaye yes i understand. I'm just saying this is further proof that it's a myth that women can't manage money or that men manage it better. If women who have no formal or financial education prove to manage money better than their spouses, who spent frivolously when they barely had their basic needs met, it's definitely not true.
@@sarahl9268 I see. But people with no money can’t spend what they don’t immediately have. The average person and up to high earners have that additional money to spend on wants after needs are met. They also will have access to credit cards, homes and cars which they can have possession over but don’t truly own until it’s paid off. Family making 100 K a year could also have 300 K in debt with credit involved. All I’m saying is that the people in the most destitute financial situations are just a small percentage of the point your trying to make. Women have the ability to be good with money and men do also. Aja was just saying that women aren’t taught as much about it growing up and that was my personal experience. The men in my life are far better with money because they got a better start than me and were also told to be good with money in order to get a wife.
Whenever someone who criticize me on my spending I would kindly/ Not kindly remind them that there were many other regular expenses that people incurred that I don't because I am frugal in those aspects. I don't go to the salon regularly, or get my nails done bi weekly, I don't buy lattes or coffee everyday but I will splurge on shoes once in a while. Unless you are one of those people who are frugal in EVERY aspect of your life, then I dont want to hear it. Because what we buy maybe different, but the expenses when added usually add to the same.
People who are NOT contributing to your household income should not have a direct say in how you spend. Now, people in our lives who love us and are looking out for us may see something and want to question it. Being open to listen is important so that more positive money convos can happen.
Financial Life of both gender in this century is beginning to change. Now Women are now being successful to their Financial Life by making change. Growing extra income stream (Passive income) and investing has been a great tool for this.
I agree with that Laura but the little problem most of us women have is depending on your partner which I will say is not pure
Great and speaking of investments I've heard so much about it how can one start a good investment and is it a great idea ?
@@oliviawalker5033 yes it is! Investing is a proven way to get richer. You have to play your cards right. I make am extra $2k weekly from my investment portfolio
@@laurahopper4988 Wow that's cool. The figures are solid. So how can I start to invest?
@@yvonneerik2510 There's some opportunities out there but best advise you to get a professional lead you to investing
I love this quote by Ramit Sethi from his book "I will teach you to be rich" - “Spend extravagantly on the things you love, and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.” It relates a lot to what you mentioned about still spending money on facials if it's something that brings you joy. As long as you have control over your finances and budget, you shouldn't feel bad about treating yourself sometimes. :)
My ex used to criticize me for spending money on going to musical concerts. This was a hobby that brought me joy and happiness in being alive and celebrating life. It shamed me to no longer experience it while we were together. Now being in life post covid, I cherish those memories I have being in crowds and large groups of people and miss that energy.
excited for you to experience that joy again!
Your ex did not respect what interested you. He probably expected you to respect his hobbies tho....Glad you got rid of him. And I reckon as well as finding joy, you may find true love at one of these concerts one day, post covid ;)
You and your ex were just on different pages about money and life. In the future, not only should you make that a point to mention your hobby to your partner, plan for them together/create a sinking fund and see what you are willing to give up for that hobby. For example, show how you will reduce your spending overall for the year so that your hobby won’t affect the budget.
He was an idiot never let someone do that. Those are the thibgs that keeep you going!
shame on him
I recently read that there's no such thing as work/life balance. Rather, we need work boundaries because we feel pressure to do it all. But its hard not to feel guilty about being firm about the boundaries (but I'm working on it).
I agree with you on this. I can afford to get my nails AND hair done AND I have no credit card debt, invest, and pay off my student loans every single month. I still am trying to get over this guilt hurdle but I am so glad you are addressing this. Such a boss!
I live in a single parent household and my mom has never been good with money (she's always made it work though) so I never really had a model of how to be financially literate. I appreciate people and channels like yours that make it more palpable to understand
(Mostly in my experience) men: "makeup is such a waste of money, it's expensive and it's shallow, you'd save so much money if you didn't wear it"
My boss and literally anyone if I show up to work without makeup on: "unprofessional, dirty, disgusting, inappropriately dressed..."
"You look sick." -_-
The double standard!!!! Ugh.
unbelievable. any possibility of finding a new job where you're valued for you?I'm sorry for how that must feel to you, you got this!
@@Yuuki1805 I don't mind wearing makeup, im lucky enough to enjoy the process. The double standard does suck though! 🥰
“You look TIRED”
This is absolutely amazing!! I’m a finance major and everyone seems so surprised when I tell them...but my guy friends who are finance majors get asked “oh awesome what do you want to do with that” like okayyy
YES TO TAKING FINANCIAL CONTROL OF OUR LIVES!! I definitely want to learn about money but growing up my family didnt include me into those decisions / learnings. Only my brother got the opportunity to learn from my dad and that is SO FRUSTRATING. I know with my future kids, I will make sure every one of my kids will get that financial literacy so they dont have to go hunt for that information on their own!!
My mom grew up in a poor household so she taught me how to manage my money and I'm thankful for that. When I first started working, I was so happy to save lots of money but depression came and I started to spend everything on useless things. I feel so guilty for it but I'm starting to save again thanks to your videos about budgeting 🙏
Embracing handling your finances as a woman feels super powerful! There’s no special reason that women can’t handle financial decisions and investing. We can all learn, and talking with friends and family about money is super helpful. Knowing where my money is going every week and keeping track of money goals has been a game changer for me.
it's actually sad because earlier in my life, I believed and internally accepted these lies and felt that I needed to fulfill them. I've learned recently that this does not have to be the life for me, but it took me a long time to figure it out! the grooming gap is so real
I love your videos so much.
Every video you produce is like a ted talk but more intimate.
Big Love for you and your effort!!!
wow thank you!
Dang Aja, always hitting the nail on the head! Forever grateful for you initiating these conversations with women (and men) and empowering women to take control of their lives and finances.
Coming from a woman who looks after all the family finances, is the primary breadwinner, works full time, uni part time while raising 3 and 11 y.o. sons. All made possible with my own hard work AND the love and support of a man who does not have egotistical issues with going against society’s norms of gender roles. x
Unfortunately my father passed early in life and money conversations were a pretty important topic between my mother and I. I earned an allowance by doing chores and started working at 16 to save up money for college and also the things I wanted. The education stopped for me once I hit college and these common financial talks seemed a bit more targeted to the male population. Thank you for your platform as well as other women that are talking about finance! It's always super informative and has helped me tremendously over the last 2 years since I found you!
I love this video. Since my husband and I have been married I am the only one who controls our finances. My husband just says “are we good to spend this?” 😂💛 Women you got this!
Thank you Aja! So few of my female friends have a good understanding of their finances, and that needs to change on a global level.
love this vid! I can somewhat relate to you as well Aja. Turning 32 this year, been out of debt for about 8 months now and it feels great however i feel like i have even MORE financial responsibility now to be smart, consistent and save my money for a HOUSE!! Hoping to be in my own home in 2 years. Hope you and Brian get in your own home soon! :)
You are so right, it is all about controlling the narrative. I was told a buttload of BS about money, that I didn't need to know, that I wasn't genetically equipped to deal with money, etc. And I was so brainwashed that I believed some of it for some time. I am a bit older than your average audience and I am so happy to see that things are changing more and more.
All I can say is: never believe anyone who tells you you can't do it. You can, no matter what. ♥️♥️♥️
I love this topic. We also cannot forget that women are far more likely than men to be the primary spender in the household (buying goods that are used not just by the purchaser but for household use). This puts an enormous pressure on women to control not only personal spending but spending for others. There is a serious conflict between controlling household spending while also being expected to provide generously for the household, and in many cases doing it while being excluded from financial information and decisions.
Edit to add to this that there is also an incredible mental load associated with being the primary spender.
YESSS!!😍😍😍
Women are constantly scrutinized for spending -- *seen as frivolous* or even investing/ saving *assumed that we must not know what we're doing*
Working in an industry that's male dominated, it gets exhausting sometimes defending my money management... like why?🤷♀️
Seriously great points you made ugh thank you!❤🙏
Preach it loud, sister! I stumbled across this video and was immediately struck by how insightful your comments are on this topic Patriarchy is insidious and the only way to change the system is to recognize it and call it out. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!
Getting monthly facials pre-pandemic was one of the best things I was doing for myself. Also being away from the bro corporate environment while working from home this past year has been really refreshing.
I've never seen a video like this, even though it's such an important convo to have.
I have been making more than my boyfriend for the past few years and the comments from other men about how a man needs to do x y and z to take care of me is so oppressive. I have always been more comfortable with money than my boyfriends, so these lies just seem so absurd and comical to me.
damn, I'm so sorry but as long as your boyfriend is comfortable with you making more money - that's all that matters.
@@AjaDang yes, luckily, he’s not the problem 😊
My friend worked while in school and was able to save up $20k but she had ZERO bills because she lived at home and her parents paid for all of her bills and school fees. I worked 3 jobs and did school full time and paid 90% of all my bills- rent, gas groceries etc etc and my mom was mad at me for not having a savings account.......
Same girl, I just now this past year have been getting more serious about saving and investing but I haven’t had the extra funds either to be able to do that.
Hang in there. It gets better once you land that first career-track job.
@@cheyenne7982 i live with my boyfriend now and the bills are cheaper so I’m working on paying off credit card debt and building my savings but shittttt bro this is HARD
Totally different! Well done.
@@missmalexa Stick in there and don't forget to negotiate for better pay and take overtime whenever possible. Bettering your finances is a marathon, not a sprint!
Thank you so much for this video. I’m a high achieving young business woman but I’m still constantly worried about how I would be able to do it all with a family in the future. My boyfriend is so much more chill about the whole work life balance thing. He wouldn’t feel guilty about getting help from a nanny - so why should we feel obliged to do it all?
Heck yeah! Good luck to you!
No4 is the worst. I'm so grateful that I have a partner who's making dinner right now while I'm studying for my uni exams (and watching a quick YT video haha). We both do every chore around the house, we both work, and if I have a hard time because of uni he does everything. HEAVEN.
Sending this to my mom. She deserves the empowerment. LOVED this video
love every single point made in this video. i didn't even realize some of them until you brought it up!
The world needs a masterclass from Aja!!! Thank you for this!!!
The work life balance point is such an eye-opener for me, I never thought of how this thing I am striving for is really an unattainable goal that is mainly pushed on women
it is unattainable. We need to stop setting ourselves up for unrealistic expectations put on us by other people.
@@AjaDang Amen!!
This is literally so true on so many levels!
I totally agree with you on this. Many womens still believe that finance is not something they need to take control of .
Thank you for speaking out on this topic. There are so many lies about women and money that need to be corrected, because we're freaking amazing with money!!! You're proof of that ;)
I have a business degree and various certifications in personal finance and my dad still prefers to *talk* about money with my brother's 20 year old friend who genuinely believes that you can DOUBLE your money in a year investing in the stock market...the length men devalues the knowledge of women and heavily relies on male validation baffles me everyday!!! Also, he's having those conversations as if a 20 year old male had the same level of knowledge as him ( a 50 year old man) but wouldn't take my advise on the topic seriously!!!
Oh another thing. I told my dad I was planning on getting my masters degree to help progress my career. He literally told me "you and your career. You need to focus on getting married and having kids. Women like you only care about money." Um wut? I hope other women aren't being told this and it's just my dad being an jerk.
let me be very clear: There is nothing wrong with you focusing on your career.
I had the same experience with my dad😂😂when I told him I wanna to go back to school he told me that I already have a degree, what I have is enough... No its not👀 at the end of the day do what's best for you❤️
This is so old. Tell him men are not a good investment, not enough securities and often a liability when you view them in investment terms. Ask him if he wants you safe and happy.
Women mostly end up with the kids if there is a separation, which often leaves them broke as they focus on getting a man instead of financial security, a good pre-nup, self-defense lessons, a professional network, their own bank account, and a good lawyer. Because these are the things that keep them safe.
@@TheNinnyfee 100% true, to me a man is not a long term plan at all. No matter what, I need to have it all firt by my own just in case. So many women's end up with nothing because they were not financially set I will not end up like this 👌
I would need more context of that conversation. Did your dad say it with your specific wants and goals in mind? Did you ever once tell him you wanted marriage and kids in the future? If so, he said the right thing. Most men talk bluntly because that’s how they were talked to so I’m sure the delivery hurt a little. If you do want a man, it’s probably good to get the advice from one. Especially from the man who raised you, supports you and wants the best for you. I’m assuming all of these things because typically, older men speak from experience and knowledge, in order to help. If you don’t want a man or kids, that’s perfectly fine too! In that case, do exactly what will make you the happiest. As Aja said, the work-life balance is nearly impossible and something has to give. Your choices right now are more school (your career) or a family. If you want both, school would have to wait a little and that’s fine too. So no, your dad is not a jerk. Just blunt af 🤷🏽♀️
There is a big BIG lie going around that being bad with money can be inherited, like eye color. I have a parent and grandparents that are financially irresponsible. Even though I have never shown those characteristics, I was treated as though I did and received a lot of random unsolicited criticism until I got older and laid down these lovely things called boundaries. Sending prosperity vibes~
Yes Aja, absolutely!! Women lets take control of our finances! I love being a part of this community of financially empowered women!
You are on fire! This is so on point, I absolutely loved the video!
I love this. So true. Frivolity has its place in our lives. It's discovering what that place is, and indulging it responsibly that keeps us balanced. Skincare is not about vanity. And taking care of it is expensive. The best ingredients cost more & it is tied to our self esteem. It is actually an investment. Good skin shouldn't be seen as a privilege. We don't need to do everything like men, we can't bc we're not.
Thank you for another great, thought-provoking video!
I love this!!! Thank you so much, Aja. It got me to wake up, and realize I forgot about my goals because financial independence is so important to me seeing how it affected my mother's happiness. Hope to see more of this if it becomes like a series. Sending you lots of love! xx
Literally a queen!!! Thank u for doing this video and helping each of us find our own truth in terms of our life & money!
AMEN! We need more content like this... And we need it to get more exposure! The messaging and narrative are spot on. Thanks Aja
Such a great video Aja! I've definitely heard many of these very defeating lies
I'm sorry you've had to experience them.
Hi aja, could you do a video on your experience trying to achieve work life balance? I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on it!
good idea!
En Pointe Aja! Thanks to you & watching you for several years just wanted to let you know I wrote out my own Financial Freedom Map a couple of years ago. It worked. AND as a Female Farmher who co runs the farm & doesn't get a wage you seriously were a wake up call to me as a Self Employed Individual I realised "well if Aja can be smart, strict & savvy enough to put money away for her retirement, then so can I". Yep it was hard at first, every single budget line shrank to nothing, no more eating out, no more coffees etc, & yes we ate close to rice & beans for almost 2 years. But 3 years down the track TODAY, I got the paperwork to open up a second retirement account with my fund that I contribute into AND I have way over the $1,500 required. It was BLOODY hard work, selling at Farmers Markets doesn't make a lot of money, but I strictly put away 10% pf the profits EVERY market. Ok sometimes that was $20, yep a paltry 20 bucks for a 7 day week & 7 long hours at a market. But today I'm paying myself for MY retirement, don't nobody else own that money BUT ME. Its great to hear you be honest about treating yourself, or having no fun - that's exactly how we lived & still do, if there's money there, we have a meal out. If not, we don't. I no longer feel pressured to compete in having a beautiful amazing exciting wonderful life - maybe I will in retirement.... Right now I'm just unstressed; to be financially ok. If my life looks boring on the outside - not my problem.
My mom raised me on her own on a low income. I learned a ton about money from the choices she made and our struggles when i was growing up. It was hard but i wouldnt trade it for anything because ive been able to do a lot with the financial skills i learned from being at such an extreme low in the family income scale
This was powerful, love love love it
#1 Lie: If you still have checks, it means you still have money in your checking account.
watching you for years now, I love your strength, your clear messages and your work for us women to be more independent and celebrate our strengths and uniquenesses. Thank you!! Many greetings from Germany
This was an amazing overview, and I’m so glad you chose to speak up on such an important topic! 👏👏👏
Fantastic video, the final point really hit home.
So many double standards for women, but its great to see a new movement with women taking control of their finances!
LOVE THIS VIDEO. The financial community needs to talk more about disparities and be more intersectional and feminist.
I love that’s you’re are doing this video. This needs to become less taboo for sure and I am happy the shift of happening. ❤️
So glad i had family that :1) taught me finance from a young age ( i mean before I learned that alfabet)
2) had so many examples of couples who managed their money together and showed it to me and single women who were boss ass bitches with thier financial achievement
Those 4 lies were never told to me from a person with significance so i never believed them
Thank you for this inspiring video aja❤️
NOW THIS is some real quality content. 🙌🏻 Other content creators take freaking notesss
I totally agree! Aja, this was one of the most insightful videos you made so far! :)
SERIOUSLY! She was presidential.
Sis, I’m over here screaming “facts” for each of those valid points you’ve made. Love, love, love this video!
This was a fantastic video, thanks Aja!
I love this. Thanks for opening up this conversation!
so many great points, I can’t believe the differences in financial conversations people have with men vs women
it's sad but we can change that.
if you are budgeting properly and can afford facials-Get them! I recently saw a youtube video about depression. one of the causes mentioned had to do with skin care! We all should invest in ourselves. I'd rather pay $50 for a monthly facial than $125 for a 45 minute therapy session any day.
Yes this is soooo good!!!! I have literally heard all of these 🤦🏻♀️😩
Amazing points! I love that you’re bringing these to light
Literally one of the best TH-camrs 💜
I don’t know personally anyone who works in corporate or is a high income earner or so I can’t relate to some of this. But the women you know in that type of field are within a system that was first built and structured by men. It’s always going to be hard to learn a system that wasn’t originally made to accommodate them. The struggles you’re saying they have, such as the competitive nature of that field, ARE very common in other fields in the US as well for that same reason. But I can relate when you said as a woman, I was not fully aware of money or money conversations. My brothers got way more information on money because my parents were aware that they would go into the world with an expectation of being a bread winner for their future households. Essentially, I would marry a man and be ok. As I got older, I wanted to fit in and wear and have what everyone else seemed to have. I spent thousands of dollars essentially trying to “keep up with the Joneses”. I made a lot of bad money choices, similar to the video you did that explained about bad money choices. Only in the last 3-4 few years, did I discover channels like yours and others that showed me financial security is MORE than just looking the part. Now, two years into my marriage, I spend way less money on everything. I am more financially knowledgeable and I have someone to keep me accountable. When you have a good partner, you won’t feel restricted, you should feel empowered to make better choices! Within a marriage, I don’t believe in “my money” and “your money”, it’s the “household’s” income. For people who are single, of course, your money is yours, but listen to stories from married women on how to pivot those singular ideas if marriage is what you ultimately want. So pre-marital/couple’s counseling is a must. Bringing two unique individuals with two different expectations around money and hoping them to just “figure it out” is complete madness. Both parties should agree to a financial plan, put it on paper and it’ll give you the greatest opportunity for success!
Love and appreciate this video! Thank you
Hey, Aja! You touched on a lot of great topics, so just wanted to share all my thoughts as a gal with a different experience and perspective. :) The women in my family, plus any close female friends I've had, have all been more financially successful than their male SOs. I personally have never been told any of the lies that you name, and I don't feel like I've had any financial or career struggles -- or been left out of any of these types of conversations -- because I'm female. In fact, I think it has helped me because many workplaces want to look diverse. Everyone I encounter seems to expect that I'm just as knowledgeable and responsible as any man.
In terms of pay inequality, I did some digging into this months ago, and when adjusted for experience, skill level and other factors, women make 98 cents for every dollar a man makes. This isn't that bad, as I don't think a perfect 1:1 ratio is realistic. Some say the true difference is between working moms and everyone else. As women, we often want to stay home with our kids, which reduces our earning potential. Can this change? I don't know... hard to say. Women are, on average, inherently more nurturing than men, and we tend to value interpersonal relationships more than career. I think it's a complex issue.
As far as frivolous spending and what women vs men are told to focus on... I don't know about this. Maybe because I don't look at gender-specific magazines or articles? If women are being told to spend less on frivolous items, I think this is a good thing. And men should be told the same thing if they're not. It's just a good lesson for everyone, regardless of gender.
And, last thing! :) The "grooming gap". Makes sense, and yes, women spend a LOT more in this area. But I don't blame it on the "patriarchy". I think women care more about how we look than men. Have you ever asked a man what he thinks of your new hair, and he's like, "what's the difference?" Haha. Also, I've seen plenty of women at the top, and they barely wear makeup, and their clothes are plain. But no one bats an eye. But I can see this as very industry-specific. I'm in tech, government and project management. Ultimately, I think there's a lot of nuance to these issues that we need to be aware of.
What an excellent video. Thank you for all that you do.
And this realism is one reason I love your content
Another thing I would like to add:
This might depend on different cultures, but generally I feel like women are often told to be modest, as if modesty were one of the most important virtues a women can live by. I think this holds back women in a lot of ways, they might not ask for a raise, or not be ambitious with money goals because they feel like it would be greedy to want that.
Fantastic. Thank you. You go!
Yes! Read The Beauty Myth - especially re the work life balance point. So good.
I've learned the work life balance is complete nonsense this year as well. When you give more to family verses work or work verses family unfortunately consequences come from that. I think I'm getting more comfortable not "having it all" and prioritizing wants/desires/happiness over society standards on pushing ourselves until we're broken (emotionally/physically) trying to balance it all.
Such an important video Aja! It's crazy, because women tend to be more savers and make less risky investments (if they do invest).
The grooming gap is spot on! I frequently comment on Graham Stephen's videos about this. Women need to spend $$ on bras to even start to be taken seriously. Men don't have many of these expenses. They are already taken seriously.
Paying down debt & still getting facials was a bad ass move! It empowered me to keep some purchases that meant a lot to me while still saving. 💕
Thanku! More videos with these topics,pleaseeee. Could you invite other women to your channel to talk about how women are told about money?💞💞💞💞💞💫💫💫💫
Thank you for this video!!
This is such an important conversation.
this video is so important ! Thank you Aja!
well said. if u get a facial.it is a good investment in selfcare to deal with high expectations as women always struggle in our life include to take care of others. if your dad or bf were giving a hand while you dealed with financial issues it is good because they see your worth as person .dont pay attention on those hatters who are envy for that you arent alone.
by the way , i love your blouse.
In my experience, most of the men I know actually have less financial IQ and EQ (or financial health? is that a thing?), but like to talk about money and how others should use their money.
I just got my BA in Business and I took a class called microeconomics of development. We studied how impoverished people spent and managed money in poor countries. It was interesting to learn that when women were widowed, their money was better managed. Women tended to spend money on their kids. When men managed money it was common they still bought alcohol and cigarettes no matter how much the family was struggling to feed their children. So that "fact" that women spend money frivolously made me laugh.
If those studies were just on impoverished people, then that doesn’t speak to the average, everyday person. The high income earners Aja just mentioned don’t spend that way or worry about food in the example you gave. Different incomes spend on different things.
@@BreannLaFaye yes i understand. I'm just saying this is further proof that it's a myth that women can't manage money or that men manage it better. If women who have no formal or financial education prove to manage money better than their spouses, who spent frivolously when they barely had their basic needs met, it's definitely not true.
@@sarahl9268 I see. But people with no money can’t spend what they don’t immediately have. The average person and up to high earners have that additional money to spend on wants after needs are met. They also will have access to credit cards, homes and cars which they can have possession over but don’t truly own until it’s paid off. Family making 100 K a year could also have 300 K in debt with credit involved. All I’m saying is that the people in the most destitute financial situations are just a small percentage of the point your trying to make. Women have the ability to be good with money and men do also. Aja was just saying that women aren’t taught as much about it growing up and that was my personal experience. The men in my life are far better with money because they got a better start than me and were also told to be good with money in order to get a wife.
I love you! And I love this video!!❤❤❤
Yes! Thank you so much for making this
Loved this. Thank you
such a great topic and video.
complete facts!
I’m so glad I am subscribed to you!! You are such an inspiration for me in my 20s as I start my career w my first real girl job💪🏼
congrats on your job!
this is really important, thank u
Whenever someone who criticize me on my spending I would kindly/ Not kindly remind them that there were many other regular expenses that people incurred that I don't because I am frugal in those aspects. I don't go to the salon regularly, or get my nails done bi weekly, I don't buy lattes or coffee everyday but I will splurge on shoes once in a while. Unless you are one of those people who are frugal in EVERY aspect of your life, then I dont want to hear it. Because what we buy maybe different, but the expenses when added usually add to the same.
People who are NOT contributing to your household income should not have a direct say in how you spend. Now, people in our lives who love us and are looking out for us may see something and want to question it. Being open to listen is important so that more positive money convos can happen.
These points are so on POINT.
Really inspiring and so accurate!
You are such an inspiration Very motivational!! Xoxo
Related to this video on a deep level! Thank you for sharing!!
Danggg, this video was so good!
YASSSSS!!!!🙌🏻🙌🏻 THIS is what we need to hear! Keep preaching the good word! There are more and more of us out here doing this! We CAN do it ladies!
I love so much this video, my favorite until now. Thanks u so mucho Aja for this, someone had to said.
SOOO empowering!!!