Really consider all the points we are discussing in this one. Breakups can be complicated, and understanding different perspective can really enlighten you!
Been a year of no contact. At this point, you just realize rhe person didnt want you. Took me a while to stop looking for her or to answer the quesiton why, but i have. If someone who was your best friend doesnt miss you for over a year, let go.
I never begged or pleaded and I should move on, but I miss him. Almost three months of no contact that started the night he dumped me. He was a poor communicator, and I'm not a mind reader. I think we could've worked it out, but I respected his decision.
Nearly the same as my story, communication is EVERYTHING. Don’t blame yourself im finally seeing it for myself doesn’t matter what we done it would never have been enough. Hope you feel better soon 😊
I am in same position after 12 years n c for 3 months then replyed to tx said nothing to be sorry about some times things don’t work out I belive new man with her doubt she will come back now started straight away sadly hard to get head round it all
I am sorry. That's hard. What is/was special about him to you? When you say poor communication do you mean about breakup and not really giving good reasons, or poor communication all the time? Just work on yourself and if you need to move on let it unfold in time. I realize you're a woman and I'm a man, but I think the idea of working on ourselves applies to both genders - although I seem to hear it more in relation to men. I'm 4 months NC. I do miss her, but I have to respect her boundary.
I'm living to back up what the coach just said - NEVER take someone for granted. Ever! I learn the hard way and through a lot of pain. Showing up is great but it has to be consistent. Again, I learn this a very hard way. I'll add - be careful with your words! If you say something hurtful, or even if your intentions are good you can't take it back. Workng with regret on top of grief is complex and painful. Better to act skillfully in the frst place - and while that doesn't guarantee anything in life, at least it wll spare you having to work with regret.
I really do think she's done this time and hear me out. The last two times it was me reaching out to her. She stopped reaching out to me. I was the one pursuing and I was the one trying to make things better. She just kept questioning my motives and trying to see things for the worst I finally gave up and let her think whatever she wanted. I know she's not going to reach out and I'm not going to reach out either. This time we are done. I'm going to do everything I can to avoid everywhere she goes and everyone she talks to as well. If she wants to believe the worst then I'm going to disappear. I'm not going to waste my time with somebody who's constantly second-guessing all of my intentions.
Funny thing is, the more I watch your videos about self-improvement, the more I find myself saying, "No, thank you." Sure, I want to be better for my next relationship, but I’ve come to understand that every action has a response. I don’t want her back-what for? To be taken for granted again? To get guilt-tripped for the hundredth time? The controlling behavior, the passive-aggressive responses-I could go on. I became unbelievably depressed over the years. Sure, she had good qualities, and I wasn’t perfect either, but in the end, it’s just not worth it. As much as it hurts... I mean, seven years together-engaged, living together, getting a dog... and now? The biggest disappointment of my life. And it still hurts.
It’s been 2 months since the breakup, I was really unkind in the end of the relationship but I have been watching Al the videos working on my health mentally and physically to be better. I don’t think she’s coming back this time. I miss her so much, and would put my mind, body, and soul into the relationship to make it flourish. I just need her to come back
Same exact thing with me. I was very unkind and inconsiderate towards the end. She never really communicated directly, so I didn't realize until it was too late. Now im blocked, and she acts like I meant nothing to her. Going on 68 days since I've seen or heard from her and 56 days since I've been blocked. Miss her every day. If only she knew how much I love and care about her, but i dnt believe she's coming back. Not this time. She's never acted like this. I'm pretty sure she hates me and doesn't think about me one bit. I need to stop fantasizing and accept the harsh reality, but fuck is it hard and unbearable.
Sometimes they're loudly and very lovingly being more intimate, more affectionate, more involved, spending more time, being more present... And all because they're hiding that they're cheating, and little do you know you're about to find out. Then when you do... Poof, they're Houdini.
His 'breaking point' was realising I'd found out he cheated on me, and me not replying to his pathetic "sorry things happened the way they did" email, as if it wasn't his fault. So unlike the other times, he's stopped reaching out now and I'm sure has moved on.
My boyfriend & I have broken up & reconciled 4 times. Each time I thought ‘I’ll never hear from him again’ and sure enough he reaches out. This is the longest we’ve been in no contact. What do you think the likelihood that he will reach out? In the mean time I continue to work on myself! Thanks for the videos!!
It doesn't make any sense.u guys reconcile 4 times..and back to where again. Do u think both of u guys needs to stay away.n see where the relationship really sre? It don't make any sense of reconciling.n split agan...try to dig deep .if u guys are for each other..cant be kept reconciling .that's unhealthy..I was in it..but only 0nce.2nd I walked away....
its the same with me its been 4 times for me as well. how long it has been for you in no contact? for me its going to be almost 5 months soon. he wished me on newyears but didnt make any attempts to talk further
@ it’s been 4 months which is one month longer than previously. No contact. Tomorrow is my bday & I wonder if I will hear anything. Who did the breaking up? Is this your longest?
@@SusandPhd he did the breakup i triggered him, he left me on read. yes this is the longest one for me cos normally we get back in three months. wishing you a happy birthday. who did the breaking up with you?
@ well thank you! How did you know it was my bday? Unfortunately I was upset about something & I said I wanted to break up, but I didn’t mean it ( I know it’s part of my journey) but he took it & ran with it. Doesn’t matter the context- if he hears the words ‘break up’ he’s out. Sigh. Do you want to reconcile with your ex?
Been out of my relationship for almost 2 years.. And I've been blocked by phone and Facebook, and I wasn't even harrasing her, or blowing up her phone, I stayed away and never bothered her, and still got blocked
I can’t seem to navigate no contact when we have kids and we have to have contact. I feel as though we can’t give each other the space from each other. The pending separation/divorce feels real but also feels like time away will bring us together when the dust settles.
Why this situation is following me WTH is not enough with my divorce now I have to deal with another freaking situation WTH I don’t want know about break ups ever again in my life. After a divorce you don’t want to have another freaking failure in your life. New people new situation new life
I’ve been watching your videos for a couple of months now. I’m not sure if you will even see this question , however, I would like to know how one would know if both parties are in No-Contact” at the same time? Would that be a stalemate situation and have you ever done a video about this? Thank You !!!
It's been 10 months, I'm probably still blocked, and she ain't coming back, but I'm okay with that, I did plead for a week and the do-over msg, but I know I did my best with what I knew at the time. Besides their behaviour during the relationship made me anxious about losing them constantly, I didn't realise at the time, I thought I was happy, but I wasn't, I was slowly falling apart trying to keep someone that didn't want to be with me.
My ex gf of 12 years went full on feminist in 2016. I got dumped 2 years ago because I refused to bark and wag my tail. She says, "You have not changed". She is 100% correct! I have not...but SHE HAS, for the worse. How can a man possibly ever get a feminist dumper back like mine? My guess is: Never.
I would love to fix me and my exs relationship but she’s broken every once of trust I have for her.. she reaches out from time to time. I still care about her and love her to death but idk how to fix the problems we have.
my ex after we broke up we were in a good relationship he was angry at me because of how i react when i get angry at first i did everything i beg and he said he never thought i would call him and he's scared to give me another chance and now we are in no contact for 2months he saw stories and then unfriended me and after one week my sister told me he posted a note " she'll be fine "
Was with a narc. Brutal discard after 7 years. She monkey branched. I have been no contact 9 months. She left that relationship but never reached out to me. I blocked 3 months ago with email still open (social media lock down). It feels final. Thoughts??
What if she moved on to someone else? We have been apart for 6 months, however we have spent time together since then even though she has been seeing someone else. We have been intimate, we have been going to dinners/lunch together, fun places like the community fair, a park, and she let me do things like massage her. It's so confusing. Can someone shed some light on this please?
That's confusing. It's like she's dating both of you. I think you two need to really talk. What you're getting probably feels good but it's making you unhappy.
Almost 7 months of no contact. She’s now seeing a new guy and I now feel better. It’s closure for me… according you TH-cam videos,,she behaves like a narcissist. I’m better off without her as she wasn’t right for me. When I made a list of the pros and cons, the cons won out…
Mine was and still is a full blown narcissist. Naturally, she says that I AM the narcissist! Hilarious. NEVER attempt to get a narcissist back into your life. They are all insufferable.
She came back to me multiple times after she ruined the relationship, but after like 2 times it’s obviously a toxic cycle and they won’t change. After like 7 times I had to end it myself. She’s trying to make me jealous but following hundreds of guys on social media but it’s just gross n desperate so I don’t wanna think abt it.
Thank you for this video. It was my case, that my boyfriend proposed and because of our constant ups and downs I stayed stuck with my indecision for a year. He couldn’t bear it anymore and we split after many years of being together. In 2 months I asked him for another chance to work on our problems together just to find out, he found a random girl from the dating app. Now he is with her and doesn’t want to hear from me. Is it a rebound what he is doing? Is there any real chance for us to be back together?
I have been in no contact. Every time it goes 8 to 10 days. She reached out to bitch at me. Then I beg and plead to work things out. Or at least go to dinner. So then she tells me to leave her alone. We lived together. She moved out. Why doesn't she just block me on FB or phone. So I don't think she is a 100% Not sure .
Is there anyone here whose (avoidant) ex is rebound with his high school pal that they haven’t met for over 30 years? How long did it last? Did they get married? She recently got divorced, and my ex is currently going through the divorce process. I was initiated. Anyway I was his rebound as well but last 18 years I just wanna know, don’t want him back, waiting to see he tastes the same pain once he ends up with this rebound. We have kids together.
About to be 2 years NC. I moved on and, I actively put in the time to be better and heal. she's still hung up on me despite her breaking up with me. lol...never choose someone plays games with you.
@basicinfo2022 If you got dumped, accept it. Dumpers do not reconcile unless THEY want to reconcile. If you did reconcile, YOU as the dumpee must lay out what YOU want in the relationship, since you are the one that got dumped. You hold that power. If your ex can't see your point of view to reconcile, let it go. Move on.
Really consider all the points we are discussing in this one. Breakups can be complicated, and understanding different perspective can really enlighten you!
Been a year of no contact. At this point, you just realize rhe person didnt want you. Took me a while to stop looking for her or to answer the quesiton why, but i have. If someone who was your best friend doesnt miss you for over a year, let go.
It's most unfortunate, especially when they were your best friend first. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
It shouldn't even take a year either. So it is what it is.
I never begged or pleaded and I should move on, but I miss him. Almost three months of no contact that started the night he dumped me. He was a poor communicator, and I'm not a mind reader. I think we could've worked it out, but I respected his decision.
Nearly the same as my story, communication is EVERYTHING. Don’t blame yourself im finally seeing it for myself doesn’t matter what we done it would never have been enough. Hope you feel better soon 😊
I am in same position after 12 years n c for 3 months then replyed to tx said nothing to be sorry about some times things don’t work out I belive new man with her doubt she will come back now started straight away sadly hard to get head round it all
Always remember his solution was to DUMP. He is not mature enough to work it out. Do self improvement and heal from the shatter the break up caused. ❤
I am sorry. That's hard. What is/was special about him to you? When you say poor communication do you mean about breakup and not really giving good reasons, or poor communication all the time? Just work on yourself and if you need to move on let it unfold in time. I realize you're a woman and I'm a man, but I think the idea of working on ourselves applies to both genders - although I seem to hear it more in relation to men.
I'm 4 months NC. I do miss her, but I have to respect her boundary.
I'm living to back up what the coach just said - NEVER take someone for granted. Ever! I learn the hard way and through a lot of pain. Showing up is great but it has to be consistent. Again, I learn this a very hard way. I'll add - be careful with your words! If you say something hurtful, or even if your intentions are good you can't take it back. Workng with regret on top of grief is complex and painful. Better to act skillfully in the frst place - and while that doesn't guarantee anything in life, at least it wll spare you having to work with regret.
Hell will freeze over before my ex comes back 🔥
Didn’t you comment that yesterday?
@@CoachCraigKennethhe still misses the ex
Lol!
The Eagles said years ago they would get back together when “Hell freezes over”. Years later they named their tour “When Hell Freezes Over”. 😂😂😂.
I really do think she's done this time and hear me out. The last two times it was me reaching out to her. She stopped reaching out to me. I was the one pursuing and I was the one trying to make things better. She just kept questioning my motives and trying to see things for the worst I finally gave up and let her think whatever she wanted. I know she's not going to reach out and I'm not going to reach out either. This time we are done. I'm going to do everything I can to avoid everywhere she goes and everyone she talks to as well. If she wants to believe the worst then I'm going to disappear. I'm not going to waste my time with somebody who's constantly second-guessing all of my intentions.
Funny thing is, the more I watch your videos about self-improvement, the more I find myself saying, "No, thank you." Sure, I want to be better for my next relationship, but I’ve come to understand that every action has a response.
I don’t want her back-what for? To be taken for granted again? To get guilt-tripped for the hundredth time? The controlling behavior, the passive-aggressive responses-I could go on.
I became unbelievably depressed over the years. Sure, she had good qualities, and I wasn’t perfect either, but in the end, it’s just not worth it. As much as it hurts... I mean, seven years together-engaged, living together, getting a dog... and now?
The biggest disappointment of my life. And it still hurts.
It’s been 2 months since the breakup, I was really unkind in the end of the relationship but I have been watching Al the videos working on my health mentally and physically to be better. I don’t think she’s coming back this time. I miss her so much, and would put my mind, body, and soul into the relationship to make it flourish. I just need her to come back
Same exact thing with me. I was very unkind and inconsiderate towards the end. She never really communicated directly, so I didn't realize until it was too late. Now im blocked, and she acts like I meant nothing to her. Going on 68 days since I've seen or heard from her and 56 days since I've been blocked. Miss her every day. If only she knew how much I love and care about her, but i dnt believe she's coming back. Not this time. She's never acted like this. I'm pretty sure she hates me and doesn't think about me one bit. I need to stop fantasizing and accept the harsh reality, but fuck is it hard and unbearable.
Excellent video - helpful. Thank you, both.
Great video! Been in no contact for almost 3 months now. It does get a bit easier, but still have some really difficult days
She is done. Hell will freeze over before my ex comes back 🔥
Sometimes they're loudly and very lovingly being more intimate, more affectionate, more involved, spending more time, being more present... And all because they're hiding that they're cheating, and little do you know you're about to find out. Then when you do... Poof, they're Houdini.
His 'breaking point' was realising I'd found out he cheated on me, and me not replying to his pathetic "sorry things happened the way they did" email, as if it wasn't his fault. So unlike the other times, he's stopped reaching out now and I'm sure has moved on.
He stops responding when a crisis occurs. This one is the longest
She really is. And so am I
I've been solo dolo for a while now. I have no plans to be in a relationship with anyone, especially an ex.
My boyfriend & I have broken up & reconciled 4 times. Each time I thought ‘I’ll never hear from him again’ and sure enough he reaches out. This is the longest we’ve been in no contact. What do you think the likelihood that he will reach out? In the mean time I continue to work on myself! Thanks for the videos!!
It doesn't make any sense.u guys reconcile 4 times..and back to where again. Do u think both of u guys needs to stay away.n see where the relationship really sre? It don't make any sense of reconciling.n split agan...try to dig deep .if u guys are for each other..cant be kept reconciling .that's unhealthy..I was in it..but only 0nce.2nd I walked away....
its the same with me its been 4 times for me as well. how long it has been for you in no contact? for me its going to be almost 5 months soon. he wished me on newyears but didnt make any attempts to talk further
@ it’s been 4 months which is one month longer than previously. No contact. Tomorrow is my bday & I wonder if I will hear anything. Who did the breaking up? Is this your longest?
@@SusandPhd he did the breakup i triggered him, he left me on read. yes this is the longest one for me cos normally we get back in three months. wishing you a happy birthday. who did the breaking up with you?
@ well thank you! How did you know it was my bday? Unfortunately I was upset about something & I said I wanted to break up, but I didn’t mean it ( I know it’s part of my journey) but he took it & ran with it. Doesn’t matter the context- if he hears the words ‘break up’ he’s out. Sigh. Do you want to reconcile with your ex?
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Been out of my relationship for almost 2 years.. And I've been blocked by phone and Facebook, and I wasn't even harrasing her, or blowing up her phone, I stayed away and never bothered her, and still got blocked
Maybe She’s trying to get over you. That’s why I blocked my ex.
Move on. That's your sign. Find better elsewhere.
I can’t seem to navigate no contact when we have kids and we have to have contact. I feel as though we can’t give each other the space from each other. The pending separation/divorce feels real but also feels like time away will bring us together when the dust settles.
Why this situation is following me WTH is not enough with my divorce now I have to deal with another freaking situation WTH I don’t want know about break ups ever again in my life. After a divorce you don’t want to have another freaking failure in your life. New people new situation new life
I’ve been watching your videos for a couple of months now. I’m not sure if you will even see this question , however, I would like to know how one would know if both parties are in No-Contact” at the same time? Would that be a stalemate situation and have you ever done a video about this?
Thank You !!!
She’s married. Now. She never told me what happened. I don’t she will. Want me back.
Also, poor communication, betrayal, smear campaign and blaming. Reached 6 months of nc but does indirect direct contact through kids.
We jst broke up💔 two weeks ago and ex sleep with another man 😪
Stay in no contact. There's stages of breakup. First stage is relief.
Move on. She's damaged beyond repair. Why would ANYONE want an ex dumper back that has had sex with other partners? That's insane!😮
Have respect for yourself imagine the positions he had with you ex.
It's been 10 months, I'm probably still blocked, and she ain't coming back, but I'm okay with that, I did plead for a week and the do-over msg, but I know I did my best with what I knew at the time. Besides their behaviour during the relationship made me anxious about losing them constantly, I didn't realise at the time, I thought I was happy, but I wasn't, I was slowly falling apart trying to keep someone that didn't want to be with me.
My ex gf of 12 years went full on feminist in 2016. I got dumped 2 years ago because I refused to bark and wag my tail. She says, "You have not changed". She is 100% correct! I have not...but SHE HAS, for the worse. How can a man possibly ever get a feminist dumper back like mine? My guess is: Never.
I would love to fix me and my exs relationship but she’s broken every once of trust I have for her.. she reaches out from time to time. I still care about her and love her to death but idk how to fix the problems we have.
my ex after we broke up we were in a good relationship he was angry at me because of how i react when i get angry at first i did everything i beg and he said he never thought i would call him and he's scared to give me another chance and now we are in no contact for 2months he saw stories and then unfriended me and after one week my sister told me he posted a note " she'll be fine "
I Don’t believe that- it’s just him being dramatic
@kursengamer4699 what do you mean
@@maryemdahmani3229
I bet he does care, and is just putting on a front
That is indirect communication. Keep no contact and stop social media.
Was with a narc. Brutal discard after 7 years. She monkey branched. I have been no contact 9 months. She left that relationship but never reached out to me. I blocked 3 months ago with email still open (social media lock down). It feels final. Thoughts??
What if she moved on to someone else? We have been apart for 6 months, however we have spent time together since then even though she has been seeing someone else. We have been intimate, we have been going to dinners/lunch together, fun places like the community fair, a park, and she let me do things like massage her. It's so confusing. Can someone shed some light on this please?
If you continue being a friend that is going nowhere. Stop all contact. Watch other videos and you’ll understand.
That's confusing. It's like she's dating both of you. I think you two need to really talk. What you're getting probably feels good but it's making you unhappy.
Almost 7 months of no contact. She’s now seeing a new guy and I now feel better. It’s closure for me… according you TH-cam videos,,she behaves like a narcissist. I’m better off without her as she wasn’t right for me. When I made a list of the pros and cons, the cons won out…
Mine was and still is a full blown narcissist. Naturally, she says that I AM the narcissist! Hilarious. NEVER attempt to get a narcissist back into your life. They are all insufferable.
Do they still come back? When they said that they're DONE?
No. If they dumped you, they dont want you back. Facts. Find something better.
She came back to me multiple times after she ruined the relationship, but after like 2 times it’s obviously a toxic cycle and they won’t change. After like 7 times I had to end it myself. She’s trying to make me jealous but following hundreds of guys on social media but it’s just gross n desperate so I don’t wanna think abt it.
What if I told you I watched this video for me and you described exactly what I went through before exploding
Thank you for this video. It was my case, that my boyfriend proposed and because of our constant ups and downs I stayed stuck with my indecision for a year. He couldn’t bear it anymore and we split after many years of being together. In 2 months I asked him for another chance to work on our problems together just to find out, he found a random girl from the dating app. Now he is with her and doesn’t want to hear from me. Is it a rebound what he is doing? Is there any real chance for us to be back together?
Well he asked. He’s burnt out.
If you weren’t sure to marry him you were right!! Trust yourself!
I have been in no contact. Every time it goes 8 to 10 days. She reached out to bitch at me. Then I beg and plead to work things out. Or at least go to dinner. So then she tells me to leave her alone. We lived together. She moved out. Why doesn't she just block me on FB or phone. So I don't think she is a 100% Not sure .
Begging and pleading is making things much worse... Suggest you watch our 10 biggest breakup sins video
Sounds like borderline
You lost the battle once you beg and pine. Move on. There ARE women much better for you out there.
Is there anyone here whose (avoidant) ex is rebound with his high school pal that they haven’t met for over 30 years?
How long did it last?
Did they get married?
She recently got divorced, and my ex is currently going through the divorce process. I was initiated.
Anyway I was his rebound as well but last 18 years
I just wanna know, don’t want him back, waiting to see he tastes the same pain once he ends up with this rebound. We have kids together.
About to be 2 years NC. I moved on and, I actively put in the time to be better and heal. she's still hung up on me despite her breaking up with me. lol...never choose someone plays games with you.
He has kept me blocked for over 6 months now
Move on. Why do you care if you got blocked? He could not care less about you. Its obvious.
@surfkat59 I have moved on but open to reconciling or at least being on neutral terms.
@basicinfo2022 If you got dumped, accept it. Dumpers do not reconcile unless THEY want to reconcile. If you did reconcile, YOU as the dumpee must lay out what YOU want in the relationship, since you are the one that got dumped. You hold that power. If your ex can't see your point of view to reconcile, let it go. Move on.