"There is a cost to that"... I think it's near impossible to calculate the cost - or rather the savings - of not leaving people behind in poverty. When everyone has a good life and a decent living standard the whole country blossoms.
I fully agree - I would like to see the calculation of a full lifespan. What did you earn? How much did you pay in taxes, fees to university, dentist, old people's home, kindergartens etc. You cannot only go in the tax rate. We have numerous stories from other countries where you can apend life savings on cancer treatment, disability etc.
@@decollector95 Why not? Lifting up those that are in trouble doesn't take anything away from those that do well. In fact it improves things for everybody, since it reduces crime, promotes trust and just really the overall feeling of good living. It is much better to know your neighbor is doing well, that seeing anyone struggle.
I am from New Zealand and have lived in Denmark for 27 years. I have also lived in America for 6 months and have family there. I enjoyed visiting USA but wouldn’t want to live there again. I didn’t feel safe at all. Service in restaurants or shops was annoying in USA, particularly in restaurants where they never let you relax and enjoy your meal. They rushed you because obviously they got more tips with more customers. Even on fortidspension ( I have Parkinson’s and stopped working as a nurse 2 years ago), I can still afford to eat at restaurants and travel. As a single parent I raised 4 kids now adults, all got university education paid for by taxes. One of my kids, now adult, is disabled and sits in a wheelchair but lives alone (just got married so now lives with wife), has a degree from university and teaches. He has paid help 16 hours a day thanks to our taxes. That would never happen in USA or NZ. My life would have been very different in USA or NZ. Yes young teenagers drink a lot but most Danes enjoy alcohol without getting drunk in advance as she said. Danes complain about things much as in a family everyone complains about their family but no Dane I have ever met would want a system like USA. Just recently the government proposed tax reductions and the majority of Danes were against it. Do you speak Danish because it seems to me a lot of your views on Denmark are not accurate However I do agree dinner parties are usually more formal and there are more rules around food, particularly Christmas or formal parties. I found that fireworks was the thing that freaked me out the most. Particularly New Year’s in Copenhagen. The way children are raised and approach to showing kids how to kill animals is similar in NZ. Thankfully nudity was pretty normal at home in NZ and that wasn’t a problem for me moving to Denmark. I love it here and have a much better quality of life here than in NZ. Wages are great here and I couldn’t afford to live in USA or NZ. I would not want to live anywhere but Denmark
you would be able to thrive in the US were you yourself healthy and if you had zero kids. The US is all about accelerated cruch lifestyle for several years. I'm from Austria but I know a few people who moved to the US and can afford a house there while they couldn't with their Austrian salary. It heavily depends on the individual whether Europe or the US has a better quality of life.
I think it's quite easy to find downsides in terms of safetynet in the US. However, being dual citizen I miss a lot of the drive and spirit I feel in the US. I just think it's important to look at like what the cultures could learn from eachother instead of competing what is best. It will always have several aspects to it different for each individual what feels like home in your heart and what your lineage is.
With its 5,894,687 inhabitants (according to the latest estimate from the CIA World Factbook), Denmark has won one medal per 535,880 inhabitants. In comparison, Russia has won one medal per 2,004,518 inhabitants, the USA has won one medal per 2,964,588 inhabitants, while China has "only" won one medal per 15,885,201 inhabitants. So even though the Danes are not so competitive in sports, we still manage very well and we have fun in the meantime.
@@Itswat3vah Why do you want to move here, when you are not familiar with our customs? We have plenty of people here who are not really interested in the country - only what they can pull out for themselves.
@KimSrumPoulsen yes! I am an American living in Denmark for 16 years and I'm listening to this podcast and thinking, what country are you living in? I do not recognize the view of the country she has.
to me she comes of as a little insecure brat, who wants it only her way, it's like someone disrespected her in Denmark and her, supposed, authority got challenged and now she want vengeance
I wouldn't say I ever had a bad experience with customer service in Denmark. I'm Danish myself, so I understand the nuances in the language. Most Danes try to be friendly with one another. Sometimes you might have a bad experience in a clothes shop, but it's mostly very young employees.
Totally agree! And also, you have to always say hello when you enter and also thank you, probably several times during a conservation. If you are polite, you will amazing service in Denmark. It's like with friends. If you do it right people will be loyal and go beyond limits to help you.
I think this conversation explains a lot about why Americans are often less liked than ‘other people’. Every trait in the Danish culture is compared to American culture as if latter is a kind of baseline. And in doing so, making a lot of far-fetched conclusions.
@@liahk1000Of course, but this podcast seems to make a point out of targeting all nationalities and is called ‘Dating beyond borders’. As such I would expect a more humble and open approach to other cultures, and being a bit more aware of the bias. I find this awareness very lacking in the ‘American approach’ in general, hence my comment.
I don't think you can dismiss someone elses experience. I find it interesting many Danes take offence and think the points she makes are negative. Cultures are different with positives and negatives depending your own subjective experience. I am born dual Danish/American and grew up in Denmark and I totally get the points she makes. @@hellebachmann8260
Exactly, but it´s fortunately not as commonly used as just a few decades ago. Now when we see a nice car we say "I wish I had one too". Before it was "Rich pig! How did he get enough money for that?"
We do have customer service here in Denmark, you will just have to ask for it. I actually hate to go to a shop where the clerk follow me around, or keep an eye on me the whole time. I feel like a criminal or i have done something wrong 😅 I think it it is really normal in Denmark to ask for help from a clerk if u want help and then they will do evrything they can to help you to find the thing u need. And if i go out to eat with friends and family it is because i want to have a good time, talking and use quality time with them and not a waiter. I find it annoying if the waiter is hovering around me and asking me if evrything is okay evry 10 sec. So i actually like it how it is 😁 And another thing is, that in Denmark you actually get a good wage so u dont have to kiss butt to get a good tip to get food on the table.
I don't live in copenhagen, so i dont know what they have there or dont? There is more to Denmark than just Copenhagen, I live on Fyn and we do have customer service, you will just have to ask for it
I cant really agree on the i only have 8 chair's so i can only feed 8 people, that is not how we do it where i come from, and i am from Fyn in Dennark. If someone ask if they can bring a person or pesons it would be a yes, because i will always have room for more people, it is no problem we just put more plates on the table and find another chair and maybe be a little more crammed together. And i grew op with the saying "hvor der er hjerterum er der husrum" translated directly it means, Where there is heart room there is house room or more correctly where there is space in the heart there is space in the house. And the thing about not giving Kids dinner if they are playing with my kid is not because i dont want to feed other Kids if they are playing with my kid, but the Kids parents are probably waiting with dinner when they get home so it would be totally rude of me if the kid already ate and cant eat anything when they go home for dinner, so it has nothing to do with me not having enough food, but it is really normal to eat dinner together with your family in Denmark so we expect the kid to eat when they get home. I of course also have my Kids friends eating here, but then they would have to call their parents and ask if it is okay that they eat here so the parents dont expect them for dinner at home 😊
I think there is one thing people forget, when they talk about 'hygge'. It is a concept in use throughout the year, but the main reason it arose at all is because of the dark winter. That is when we turn our houses into 'hyggelige' (cozy) places. Personally I love every season, and I don't long for the summer and the light when it is winter, but enjoy the winter and the darkness while it is there. I think every season are special and I think we are lucky to have them all.
As an American (Puerto Rican) living in Denmark for 16 years, and the amount of ignorant generalizations is a theme throughout this video. Also the the way you describe the country, comes off with a lot of disdain. I couldn't think of a worst person to advise Americans coming to Denmark
As an American who would absolutely love to move to Denmark, why is this lady still there after 20 years? She sounds like she absolutely hates it there.
If you consider moving to Denmark listen to RobeTrobbing (maybe spelled wrong) and Traveling Young they tell the truth about moving here. And as a Dane can I only say you are always welcome to reach out of I can be at Any assistance or you just want a guide of some of the areas I know pretty well.
True! As a Dane, I noticed she doesn't seem to like it here..why does she use, 'we' She should stay with, 'I' bc many of her opinions are not quite 'on the money'
To say that there are "13 year olds rolling around the streets drunk out of their minds" is a wild exaggeration. Sure we might have tasted beer at that age but getting drunk at that age will lift eye brows here ad well. We do have very excessive drinking compared to other countries around us and it IS a problem for sure. But lets not blow things out of proportion thank you very much. I wonder where she lives and what realities she is faced with on a daily...
I'm 8 minutes in this interview and already I'm thinking WTF? Does this woman understand danish culture and mentality at all? I haven't read her books or heard her podcasts, but I sit here with a feeling of not really wanting to because of the lack of insight she have demonstrated within the first 8 minutes...... Sorry
I think so many Swedes working in Denmark is only partly explained by the currency difference, as many Swedes worked in Denmark before the recent rise in the value of the Danish crowns. I think it is better explained by Denmark having a much more flexible employment market. It is way easier to fire people in Denmark than in Sweden, and therefore employers are much more willing to take a chance and hire somebody they are not 100% sure about. Denmark have a so called Flexsecurity system where it is easy to fire people, but we also have fairly generous unemployment benefits.
Yes true! You work 40 week hours in SE and 37 in DK, and even then you are only payed 2/3 in SE of what you get in DK. Work culture is very diffenent opening for misunderstandings.
Also when you work outside Sweden you also pay lower income tax on earned money. Still its only like 2-5% less than IF you would be working inside Sweden. But it also depends on wich "Traktamenten" you are able to use.
Its also easy to get out of a job. It goes both ways.
6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14
I find it interesting, that since I left school 30 years ago, I have never heard the word jante lov, unless it is in these youtube videos about Denmark... I wonder who you talk to. Have you seen how much individualists teens in Denmark are today? They may not be bragging about things, but there is deffently a "Me! What I want! Dont care bout the group" (both in positive and negative ways)
Janteloven er noget socialistiske skolelærere holder i hævd, for vi skal jo alle være ens i den røde utopi. Jeg har heller ikke hørt om janteloven siden jeg forlod folken for 35 år siden. Janteloven er kontraproduktiv, holder folk tilbage og er menneskefjendsk. Den blev opfundet af forfatteren Aksel Sandemose i 1933. Utroligt den har fået den udbredelse i skolevæsenet og folkesjælen når man tænker på, at ingen (heldigvis) lever efter den.
As a Dane I relate to some of her points, but most sounds like she is describing another country I don't recognize, many of the experiences and examples she brings up, I have never personally experienced. And I think there is a lot of nuance lost and a lot of deeper understanding of the why's, that are lost. But never the less it was interesting to see her point of view.
Interesting to hear. I am a swede living in DK since 20 years. I recognize many things that you say. Also the swedes doesn't like 'bragging' in the 'american' way and talking with a loud voice or all the time without pauses. Even in your own garden, you keep your voice low and don't play music outside, not to disturb your neigbours. You don't interrupt anyone speaking. A thing that has changed here especially after Covid is, that I often find myself in conversations with strangers in all type of situations from meeting somebody when taking a walk, on the train, in the shop etc. - also sometimes ending up in deep and interesting conversations or just having a laugh together. I think it is very valuable to start to learn danish as soon as you move here. You can have up to 3 years of personalized, high quality full time studies for free close to where you live. It ends with a very formal exam with grades. Very usable if you want to study or work here. Doing that, is very well seen and appreciated and opens many doors. Danish is extremely difficult language to learn to talk, if you arn't very young. In some cases you also can get economical support during that time to be able to focus on your studies. But I think that you must start your danish studies within 3 months after moving here to get it for free. English of course is always working also in many work places, because the danes speak english very well, but mostly with a strong danish accent. Neither I, have had any problems with custum service here. Yes, I agree that people are friendly and patient even if there are some language difficulties or confusions leading to misunderstandings, just that I do my best to be understood and be kind. I don't agree with you, that 'danes' talk and act in a flat manner'. That is really an interpretatoin from your personal side or american conditioning, not catching the nyances of verbal and non-verbal expressions. There are clear nuances but sometimes subtle. You have to learn the 'tone' they use, to catch if they are glad for, dissatisfied or hurt with something you say. You learn that in The School for Forengers. They can express anger very direct and especially the younger generation are more expressive emotionally. The oldest generation are keeping what they mean more tight to the skin. You don't talk about money or politics if you don't know the other very well or' have a sense', that they mainly agree with your views. It is important to show respect for others views in the way you respond to what they say. To do that is a high way universally is my experience. There are clear differences if you live in West Jutland or Copenhagen area. I love this country and am greatful for the security and help we can get here when in need, even if I have to pay 8% more in taxes here then i Sweden and the cars are extremely expensive. Normal full time week day work is 37 hours/week. If you work evenings/nights/weekends you often work less week hours total. It is not expected to work extra without being compensated extra economically. The 'rush transport hours' are 7-8 and 15 - 16. After that you see people in food shops, fitness, or just at home. PS! Here it is time for a 'lagkage' (a cake) when you have something to celebrate or you are sad - when you meet, get back from a holliday, birthday, see a friend, a success .... Yes they can drink a strong beer late afternoon together before leaving the job, especially at manual jobs. I think people drink less and less and if and how you do it is depending on the sub culture which you are around. 20 years ago many were smoking. Now only few do. You 'underdress' or better said dress relaxed also in 'white colar jobs'. 🌍🍰❤
Hi, Dane here! You should be the one being interviewed on how to interact with us rather than her. She’s been living here for 20 years and still doesn’t understand us. Jamen-jamen… 😂 Clearly you see us in a much more nuanced way. Thank you!
I highly disagree with Kay in terms of “indifferent” attitude towards customer service. Customer service is also leaving your customers to have a good time in the company theyre in. When I go to a restaurant to eat, I also want to share a meal with friends/family without having to talk to a stranger who grovels for tips, assuring him every ten minutes, that everything is fine. I’m there for me. Not to support him and his family. Janteloven is also supportive in the sense that everyone in a company is encouraged to share ideas. If an idea is really good for the entire company and workforce, does it really matter if the janitor came up with it? In terms of friends … I wouldn’t necessarily say danes are difficult to befriend. I might be biased. After all … I am born into the culture. 😉 But unlike a lot of other countries, danes have a very tight friend group. A lot of us knows our friends from kindergarten, and stay close throughout our lives. So we have friends we’ve known for a very long time. And sadly … the thing about being a newcomer to a group … very hard to get “admitted”. So Kay is probably more right about that. But … once you’re “let in”, you often have a fiercely loyal friend for life. Who will defend you to the death. One of the favorite passtimes in Denmark is complaining. Are you really danish if you don’t complain - sort of thing. 😂 We are well aware of things not being perfect. And until it’s changed - we complain. 😂
Hi. Dane here. I made it 6 minutes into the video, that was enough. That very American woman has clearly only been/lived in Copenhagen, where things are very different from the rest of the country. She should try to broaden her horizons instead of sitting there calling herself an expert on Danes. I truly hope, that no one is taking her advice on how to behave in Denmark.
I was told by an expert, that you shouldn´t blindly believe everything experts tells us, and since he was an expert, I guess you have to believe that. "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius.
as someone who lived and worked in usa i am happy for my experience living in the usa, and i went back to denmark after 3 years, and i was glad to ho back home, i was glad for theyears living in the usa, it gave a lot of good for my life.
"Danes will take all their vacation unlike the U.S or U.K."...........huh? don't rope the UK into this...we (UK) always take our vacations!! Judging by the comments from the Danes in this thread, it's not the only nonsense she is talking 🙄
She have no clue, amazing after 20 years here ? "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius.
Her comment about costumer service is completeyly bull, I'm a dane myself and have travelled to 60+ countries and can tell you that costumer service is rare to find in any place, even in the US
95% I agree as a Dane on what she say, I will however nuance some of the things, about really rich people with a lot of success like Elon Musk, we do have a lot of those think of LEGO, MÆRSK ect. it's very wealthy families that Danes are very proud of, there are people doing great in sports we are proud of, Restaurants getting prizes ect., the difference is we don't like if they think they are better, having more value as a person, but we do celebrate their success, we don't like bragging as she said and we don't like if when people think they are better if they have a certain job, that certainly not mean there aren't people who are and see themselves as part of an elite they just better not say it out loud. About drinking I agree there is a drinking culture and some people drink way too much, it is however important to know it is far far far from everybody, in my close family and among friends there are no heavy drinkers they actually rarely drink, same thing with hook ups yes there are a certain segment of the population who have a lot of one night stands but that is as mentioned a segment not the majority, way less than there are people who drink a lot, about nudity it has changed a lot the last 30 years a lot of people aren't comfortable with nudity and it's not only Muslims it's in general
Most of what she said was rubbish. Only the few points you mentioned, were somewhat correct. And we don't have a drinking problem in Denmark. Both Norway, Sweden and the US has far more alcoholics, than Danes. And they all three have way stricter rules. If I remember correctly, Denmark come in at around 70th in the world. And the best of those three, around 50th.
SHE DONT GET IT when she says we comeplain alot (BROK in danish) it is often with a glimbs in the eyes.. like sarcastic,, we no we have it made.. but its stil fun to complain... we want it to be even better... just chilling with the words ... she takes it way to seriously... sorry for my bad english!!!..
Entertaining, but not true. One could argue that everything she says starts as truth; it's the dramatization and interpretation of reality that renders it untrue. If one watches this video without knowing the country, they would end up with a misleading impression. The first half is largely incorrect, while the second half seems more accurate, though not entirely. The aspects that are depicted accurately are exaggerated to the extent that the truth is abandoned, making the video suitable only for entertainment, not as a factual representation. Many of the points that are actually true could be seen as positive attributes if they were presented without the American dramatization and deliberate distortion of facts. However, with the distortion, they are negatively charged. One thing that is most accurately portrayed is the darkness and cold during the winter months, and that service in shops is worse in Denmark than in Sweden. I haven't been to the USA, but I hold a very positive preconceived notion about Americans and their culture. This is because I do not dwell on every negative detail I know or have heard about, but rather focus on what I perceive to be most prevalent. It seems that she adopts the opposite approach in order to produce the kind of sensationalist and dramatic content that is typical of American media. Just saying...
Blind-sighted stereo type is right. Copenhagen mostly consists of 1st, 2nd, 3rd generation from other parts of the country - with strong connections to their origins/relatives in other parts of DK. People like you do not want that connection?
@@HelleKurstein It's not about division. Copenhageners born and raised in Copenhagen can tell you there's a cultural difference if they move to Funen or Jutland.
Service means different things to both cultures. I think it's important when discussing cultures that we get the why right. Service in America is tipping culture, this means that the servers need to impress and those dining need to be impressed. But this is overstimulating for Danes, Danes don't like to be rushed, they want to eat, talk and enjoy the moment with the person or people they are out with. They love "nærvær" I don't know how to translate it but being in the moment with each other, so a good experience for them will be ruined if you have a server interrupting it every 10 minutes, stressing around and trying to get you to leave as quickly as possible. In Denmark a server that did this, would simply be annoying. If service in a clothing shop etc or other shops, its simply trust, they will only follow you around if they think you are gonna steal something, other than that, it is polite. To leave you have your own peace of mind while you are looking and if you need anything of cause they will be at your service, but unless you ask, they just assume you just want to walk around listening to your favourite song or chat with your friends, and they don't want to interrupt your peace. I can't explain it in any other way that this, it's not rude, nor are danish people shy, often it is just that we respect the other people's right to not have to deal with us all the time. As we are not the center og the universe. In dating, as a girl/woman, I found i disagreed a lot on the dating aspect, first of I don't want him to pay, unless he is really insisting on it, I would love way more a walk or cup of coffee, and flowers gifts etc on first date is way to much, fiat of it would be a bit of a red flag, second he should not have to give that commitment when he doesn't even know me, to the point on girls scared he will leave them, or what it was I don't understand either. He should only be with me if he want to and if he doesn't I hope he finds someone other there is a better fit for him, It's a bit off-putting to me, that he has to put in all this effort before knowing me, it puts a lot of pressure on it working out, when your dating you just want to meet some people and one day, you find one you click with. I have on the other hand never had a one night stand and I'm in early 20's and both are totally socially acceptable, you just communicate honestly. I have never in my life been invited over and not been allowed to eat as a child, often they will just ask before of you are staying for dinner and you can say yes, then they make for you as well. Never even heard of the other and pretty sure that would be seen as really weird. In parenting children, we believe in freedom under responsibility, so if you do your responsibilities you gain freedom. And even if you do something very bad, you can get your things taken of cause, but the example she gave, poor child. First of it was not that bad, and the child clearly lied cause she is scared of the consequences of telling the truth, second a whole month, the poor child can't even remember what it did bad by then. That I agree is being a bully. Also side note, children sleep outside all the time, but it's to get fresh air, so on busy streets in Copenhagen it's different, most will then be sleeping in the yard instead as the air is better. Also janteloven is amazing, janteloven is the reason for so much good in our society, it's the reason we can have little unmanned shops on the side of the road without people steeling. Etc etc, it's the reason our welfare system works, cause we are community first, in many things. We also have many great firms and people, we actually have the biggest firm in Europe right now, Novo Nordisk. We have singers and sport players as well, the difference is we don't yell at them for fotos on the street, as we respect their boundaries and right to have peach in their mind and daily tasks. We also loooove passion, but we done like Karen's. You can yell if someone cheated on you, but don't yell at the cashier who made a mistake. You can brag and be a show off, but don't be a dick about it and don't look at yourself above others in value. Just don't be an ass and degrade others, that's not tolerated, not even from a boss or official. Showing you Holliday, is about connecting and sharing your travels stories go back to viking times, so calling it a brag is a bit shallow. Also the sports gear, is most likely to say: Hey I live an active lifestyle, so if you are a sofa potato we are not compatible, without saying it out loud, also it's a great first date then to do something active together. I could go on and on but I'm tired, so goodnight. ✨
I came back cause I remembered the point about alcohol, we do drink early, but we learn to controll it early, most kids starts with a limit for like 2 beers class beverages or so, we have parties at home and on school, but there is always grown ups to look out for us, and personally I like that we learn what drinking is and how it affects us in a safe space, before allowed to go to clubs etc when 18.
As a Scottish woman who married a German and been here in Germany half my life I’ve forgotten my roots a lot but I’m fascinated by different cultures. I hope there’s a show about Scottish culture one time. Scotland seems to have a mixture of Anglo Saxon and Scandinavian aspects. Shy people who drink to overcome it and definitely the don’t get too big for your boots culture. I remember all my Scottish boyfriends were shy too.
think it sad, that after 20 years, she still doesnt understand us very well...... yes, it is true that we do not like people that brag.... but that doesnt mean that we dont want people to succeed or become the best....... what we love the most is the humble winner.... we ALL know who is the best, I mean he/she won, so it is obvious.... so there is no need for the person to go and say "oh I am SO fantastic".... a braggert is someone who is really insecure, even though they just won.
I wonder why Americans think that Danes drink more alcohol than the Americans. According to the UN health organization WHO Denmark ranks as number 35 in the world when it comes to consumption of alcohol per capita. USA and Denmark are on the same level. I have visited the USA several times and stayed there all together more than 3 years. I have seen so many drunken Americans and the more I see of that and the drug abuse in the USA I wonder from where the Americans have got the prejudice that alcohol consumption is much higher in Denmark than in the USA.
@@peterrevens8454 . Hm in the USA colleges have something called spring break holidays. I have been to southern Florida during spring break holidays and seen young Americans drinking [a lot] and doing recreational drugs. And then some Americans think that young Danes drink more alcohol than young Americans [21 years of age and older]. Tsk tsk. I have seen too much of the USA to believe that Danes drink more than the Americans.
The US ranks way higher on the list of alcoholics per capita, compared to Denmark. The same goes for Norway And Sweden, who also have strict rules around alcohol.
Yes, remember the swedish gangmember who got sentenced in Dk for detonating a bomb in København, he began crying when he realized he would have to spend a long time in jail, in opposition to Sweden where gangmembers from muslim countries destabillizes the whole country without punishment.
Thank you! So many people talk about the babies outside cafes idea but it's just not that common. Leave it to Kay to be honest and kind about reality. Love your podcast and books Kay and appreciate this episode as well.
I love Kay's unapologetical honesty. She is the real deal. Not the typical "hygge" and "happiest country" nonsense type video by people with superficial knowledge of the danish psyche. I admire her courage as well. The danes tend to retaliate against anyone criticizing their society, which they see as an attack on their fragile collective self-esteem. Having grown up in DK before moving to the US in my early 30s, I can attest to most of her observations. I left DK mostly due to the lack freedom, freedom to be yourself without having to apologize for your hard work & achievements, freedom from the uniformity and freedom from rigid societal norms enforced by the collective punishment under "janteloven". Obviously the near constant miserable rainy, windy weather and long, dark winters didn't help either. BTW, those lamps are meant to treat SAD syndrome (Seasonal Affective Disorder).
Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power gives the impression of being serious and universal. "Janteloven" was meant as satire. Danish students can study wherever in the world they want-still financed [by the government]. You pay back later through taxes.
Regarding sports, we do have some fairly competitive soccer academies for a country of our size, but I guess that there is a difference between elite sports and normal sports.
The Scandinavian countries outperforms bigger countries in this regard. Especially Norway and Sweden. Honestly Denmark is a bit behind our Scandinavian brothers but we do have Tour de France winners and Le Mans winners to name a few. While this is fantastic we still trail behind Norway and Sweden. Unless of course we talk about football (In the USA also referred to as football even though they use their hands). In Scandinavia Denmark are by far the best in football
In Swedish and most of everything she mentioned is true in Sweden as well. I studied in Copenhagen one semester and one difference I noticed were that people seemed a bit more outspoken and did take up more space than Swedes.
32:15 Danes don't think it's a great honor to be invited into someone's home. That's just rubbish! Yes, it's a kind of acknowledgement, but it's not something we think about. Just as it wouldn't be in most countries.
Regarding the 'brok' ( complaining ) i think its mostly about optimizing. We have all the infrastructure, and trained people. So why the waiting list, and lost time, to get things done. We ARE very practical people, and we know we CAN HAVE IT ALL, so it frustrates us when we dont! We have spilled blood, sweat and tears for MANY years, to have our society. We are a proud nation. If we fall we catch each other. We work to live, not the other way around. Yes, you are giving trust, but that dosnt mean you are ' in the circle. Danes are not shy, we are humble. Compared to other countries, we know the world doesn't revolve around us. And thats okay, if you dont like the smell in the bakery, just leave. ❤
@@Clipisim no its not sarcastic. Danes knows that everything can improve at all times, because development is the key to success and sustainability. Everything is in motion, so if you lean back for to long, other countries are ahead.. take risks, invest smart, work less hard. 😉
As a Dane, it's such a relief to hear a balanced, informed, healthy discussion about Scandinavian culture. No, it's not a paradise here; and it's not a socialist living hell either. I follow American news quite a lot, and I hardly recognize my own country in the very internal American debates where Scandinavian countries are portrayed as either a paradise or a terrible example - I often feel sort of used in that context. Your discussion has real curiosity and nuance; thank you🙂 - Oh, and yeah, I think you are spot on all points; also the ones that are less comfortable to hear.
Get another source this woman doesn't know a thing about Denmark 50 to 80% of her facts are directly wrong. She doesn't know the country she is living in. There are plenty of TH-camrs that moved from the US to Denmark that knows a lot more about what they talk about. I'm sorry that this girl should represent Denmark when she doesn't know anything about the topic
I have never, ever heard of any Danes locking away their child's friend away, while eating dinner. You always call the child's parents and ask if it's okay, the stay for dinner. Maybe it's a Copenhagen thing?
Please don't. Denmark is full. There's a reason why Europe are going to the right side politically. 20% of the Population in Copenhagen are foreigners. Do you think Danes want to be a minority in our thousand year old nation? The only ones that think you are welcome are the industry that is going to make money on you. And the far left, which is despised by most Danes. . . .Especially after their resent display of anit semitism.
@@peterrevens8454after going and coming back I found out that the danish were one of the kindest people I’ve met. Honest, helpful and caring. I had so many people offer to help me with things even without me asking. I think that if you expect them to be overly in your face like Americans, you will be disappointed. But if you just get to know them, they are super kind and friendly. Also I noticed that they are super family oriented. Like everyone has a pram on their bike, so many people have kids. I’m actually going back for 3 months. It’s definitely a wonderful place and you have to get to know it on its own merit without comparing it to another place.
The latest rape law have really hit the male population. Many males are not shy when dating, they are more scared. I would say any woman can get a guy convicted of rape, if they have been in the same bed. The law is very harsh towards the men. You basically need her consent in writing to do some bed gymnastics.
The fact that she even lies about what's inside the law should tell you that she is just putting things out there that she doesn't know anything about Traveling Young and RobeTrobbing (maiby spelled wrong) are both Americans that moved to Denmark and put a pried into getting the facts right, and they tell the story of how America vs Denmark really are. Forget this video it's bullshit from start to finish
Danes are always encouraged to educate themselves. Not "just" young people, but people at all ages, and working for public and private companies. Sometimes the private companies want to pay their workers themselves, but the state pays for both education and pay people while studying. I wish DBB would ask 10-15 other families/couples who have lived and worked here in Denmark for (many) years!! This woman is the first person I've heard not at all understanding the Danish culture, the pros and cons. Fx. Robe Trotting and the Young family!
As an introvert in Dk ( dual nationality) I find smalltalk in theUS so valuable because I easily get out of my shell and never feel alone. Always an opportunity to feel connected and included. Coming back to Denmark the difference really dims my spirits. I would love to hear how us expats here use their English. I really miss speaking American but all my us relatives are overseas. I'm fluent in Danish but miss interacting in American more in my daily life. Any advice?
Note, that almost all Danes get most of their friends from either the basic school (Grundskolen) or thourgh sportsclub or both. That why a lot of forringers have a hard time becoming friends with danes.
This is SO stupid. I don`t know if I should laugh or cry. And the story about the girl who got her braids removed to look more like the other children is ridiculous. This lady is SO incompetent to speak about danish culture
Strange, she mentioned the Swedes as the “big brother”. In fact, it is the other way around and have been since the Viking age. From the Viking, we have learned that the Norwegians were violent once. They picked up a fight quite fast. The Swedes were the complete opposite. They didn't fight much, they were content in just a little. Kind of lazy, actually. The Danes were the clever brother, used their brains before going into a fight. Danes were the brains of the Vikings, Norwegians were the muscles. Swedes, the “boring” and a little useless brother, but he is our brother and still are. Have a look at the history. Time after time you can see the Swedes just copying Denmark, and they still do. The big one: Social Democracy. Denmark 1871, Sweden 1889. The complete Swedish system is a copy of the Danish. BTW, Germany copied it via Willy Brandt, Austria via Bruno Kreisky, Spain from Willy Brandt. Sweden is just a copycat, waiting to see what will Denmark do? I am fine with it, but don't make people think that Sweden is “Big Brother” here in Scandinavia. There is a reason why Denmark is way richer than Sweden per capita. We are the "Big Brother" and we still use our brain.
Actually much larger Danish Viking Fleets attacked Britain, and we had several Kings whom were also Kings of Britain (And an Area still being named: "The Danelaw")! The one Norwegian try for this ended at Stamford bridge!! But they had a much better "Publicity Department"!
Yet we lost Skåne, Halland and Blekinge to the swedes. And have never been close to getting them back. But at least we are very welcome over there now.
@@peterrevens8454 Not entirely true. I did negotiate Skåne, Halland and Blekinge back to Denmark. It was a night, after a Danish - Swedish party. It was all Swedish friends I knew. All we should do, was close down Christiania. But they never did, so no Skåne, Halland and Blekinge for us. Needless to say, we were very drunk, but a document was signed. One of my friends had the document for many years, may he still has. So close, but weed at Christiania was more important!!
As a dane this mostly wrong its a very americanized perspective on how danish culture works she got some things right but thats mostly the fact based stuff like taxes but the majority of the culture points are just completely wrong. If you want too learn about our culture talk too someone that grew up here or move here most of us speak English and we are more than happy to help you navigate
One thing that feels spot on for me being dual dk/us, when she mentions: there is more energy in the US. In the us you can drive a car at 16 but drink at 18. In Denmark it' s the opposite. Thought provoking. If I could afford it I'd go live in the States ❤
Can I ask where this woman is located when she says there is no costumer service? Because there is no costumer service in Copenhagen, but in Jutland you expect it and a business doesn't survive if there is no costumer service.
ROFLMAO, Denmark is supposed to have low alcohol prices. I went there for a new years trip and we crossed the border to germany to buy beer at a german gas station (~50% increase on the sales price for items), but ended up paying less than in a supermarket in denmark.
Thanks for describing us You get a lot of it right. Getting into the circle is difficult - this is an unfortunate side of Danes, and we can even get hit by it ourselves when moving to other places inside this small country. My apologies for this terrible habit.. Thank you for the description, you're actually not being negative but rather objective. Everything comes with a cost - you're right.
No nation is perfect, but I prefer to live in a land that takes care of the less fortunate, a society that contains a mentality that has its focus on the well-being of the entire population, and sees challenges, such as poverty, education, health care as a joint task. A nation, like the US, which exploits their working part of their population and allows a family with children to have 3 jobs without being able to earn an income from which they can create a dignified life,is a shame. Living in a small car with children is undignified, and says a lot about the political greed and general mentality. You have a lot of work to do for your own people. We, Danes have worked for generations for our democracy which we are proud of . So don't criticize what you don't understand the depht of,
When the GDPR was first implemented here in Sweden we had to remove every picture of the kids at the preschool. We started documenting "hands and feet", basically if the kids were playing with LEGO we'd zoom in on the hands. What we ended up with was 3-5 years of kids not having memories of their lives at the preschool. Sickening really because kids generally don't have memories from the years before 5-6 years of age. Good job, EU. 😡
Janteloven, so many ways to look at it. Short for me as a Dane - you can be succesfuld and people do celebrate that. Just dont brag and make others feel like less. In the end we are all just humans. And just wauw, no service, no smiles, just looking at the phone. Have this lady ever been outside Copenhagen, and is her mind still in the US. KÆRESTE is used in two ways - boyfriend/girlfriend or dearest. Nobody understanding Danish would ever mash them up. So much wrong told here.
I would like to say as a Dane that we do meet in person but its not as common as in other countries. About being social in Denmark their is like a social code we follow so we dont upset each other. You go like like a compliment or comment about the person your interest in. Its important that you state why your their or its considered rude to interrupt someone. Dont go for small talk but do take a interest in people. Your right about it being confusing for guys to date women because of the lack of guidance. My best advice to men is to not care too much what women want because they dont know themselves. Lastly yeah Winther sucks but you get use to it.
This highlights the reality that culture is more than just flags, food and sartorial sense. It is very much about perspective and attitude. And it can be nuanced to the point of concealment until a pivotal moment arises. Kay notes that much has changed in Denmark and her homeland, the USA. As with the various countries in which I have lived it is probable that little if any change at the societal level has been for the good. The reason? The growing sense of entitlement, itself a plague on any culture. My only experience with Denmark is a day spent in Copenhagen. I loved it and look forward to getting back. Thank you for your enlightening exchange. As a marketer I pulled from it some interesting points.
Not being that competitive we still have managed to be the Home of the largest Toy Company in the world: LEGO. One of the largest Transport Businesses: Maersk. One of the largest Brewery Groups: Carlsberg and several other well known Danish Companies!!! We are building amazing Transport systems like the new Tunnel to Germany, without any German help and the possible profit will be all Danish. And as a German Engineer told a Dane during a Premeeting for the Tunnel: For Germany this will be the Tunnel of a Century! For Denmark, just another Tunnel, Bridge.
I have a lot of small talk of my colleges. And that is importent to me. That dosnt meen that we have to be best friends. But if a college says to me, i need help privately, i will alway be there for them. But because we are colleges, dosnt ment we have to be best friends. But we have huge respect for our colleges.
First of all, I'm a Dane... SORRY... I know it can be hard to adopt to a new place, even after 20 years... But I DARE to say, that there is SO much more to Denmark and Danes, outside our capital... I know that we live in a TINY country. But I have lived in some of the most distant places, with the some of the MOST honest, warm and carying people... And yes, you don't get invited... But you invite yourself... Or visit a colleague, after work, and beeing forced to stay for dinner, by their kids... I have been in that situation a LOT of times... Do your kids do that in the US of A? The thing about living in Denmark, I think, is getting down to earth, be honest, and don't talk BS to anyone, or accepting BS from anyone... Take off your filter, whatewer you "THINK", and just enjoy life... I know that we are a bit cold and harsh, sometimes, but we just tell the truth. As a rule, we TRUST, and RESPECT other people, in some cases until proven otherwise...And dispite the law of Jante, we respect peole who made it BIG in this world, but like them not to brag about it... There is no need to... EVERYBODY already knows... Danes might seems cold, anoying and "not caring", but if you get close to us, you might get something in return...
I'm a dane. I had my first drink at my confirmation at 13 and didn't enjoy it. I had my first drinking party at last day of school at 16. Parties in Denmark begin at home with adult supervision so it is safe and it is learned in a proper setting rather some place in the streets. But it is true that from 16-30 years danes drink a lot on weekends a couple of times a months but it is not an everyday occurance and seldomly on weekdays. In the US they can't drink until 21 so the chock is so much bigger. But i'd pick happy drinking on weekends over alcohol abuse which is more widespread in the USA actually.
@@peterrevens8454 Kerteminde er der jeg blev født og fordærvet. Men jeg har familie i Thyborøn hæhæ, så det er rigtig nok, der er ikke langt til kysten uanset hvor du er i lille Danmark.
Thanks for an interesting interview! I could recognize many things, and I was impressed that Kay has such an accurate understanding of the differences between Denmark and Sweden. Also yes, the energy in the US is amazing, and very different from that in Europe in general. That said, I think some things that are described as "Danish" are perhaps more about one specific Danish social class. A big class, but not all Danes, more like a third of them. And it doesn't have a lot to do with money. You can be a CEO of a global company and still be middle class in your habits and mores. And you can be a relatively poor fisherman and have a strong deep rooted culture that is very different from the one that is most obvious. The thing is that as a foreigner, you will probably never get to meet the other Danes and not at all get insight into their private lives. But that is the same in Italy and France (at least Paris) and probably countries I know less about. To be honest, there are some of the things that you talk about that I know exist, but that I have never encountered in real life. For one, in my circle of friends and parents at the local school it was a common saying that as a parent you could never know if you had zero kids for dinner or six -- because the children were always roaming about in groups and no-one knew in advance where they would end up eating. Sometimes the parents would come/go over too. Mirroring your experience of the Danish dating scene is mine of the situation in the US. I seriously never figured out how it worked! There are so many rules and stages that were impossible to understand as an outsider. I guess that is why this is such a good cross-cultural podcast. A small thing: the stories about the kids in prams outside cafés are nearly 30 years old, and back then it really was a normal thing. At some cafés you would see several prams outside while the mothers spent some time together indoors. Children sleep very well outdoors. There are several reason for why that changed, but I won't say crime was a big factor at all. One factor was that first Copenhagen and then the four other bigger cities changed dramatically after 1996, and after that, the space and atmosphere was not really as accommodating for prams and babies anymore.
Lovely video but also very black and white. It is based on prejudices about Danish people. But hey it is a good way to initiate a discussion about us the danes :) One of the last stories is about a girl getting her braids removed. That must be fiction. In Denmark that is a very terrible thing to do. It leans towards the employee doing that being reported to the police or as minimum being fired. Actually it would be headlines news in Denmark
I think Kay Xander Mellish wants to make her point by making up a story. Making up things (just look at Trump) are surely the American way. Freedom of speach - freedom to lie
Bad customer service is a distinctly Copenhagen thing (maybe Aarhus a little bit). Visit the rest of the country and get a very different and much better experience.
11:00 Yes, we have restrictions on how many of a certain education get in. That makes sense on several levels. First, the government doesn't waste money on educating someone in a job, they will never get. It's the opposite in the US, where countless people have educations, huge debt and never get to work in their area. Second, you as a person don't want to be unemployed in your field.
Am I hearing that right that she lived in NY in her early thirties and has been living for over 20 years in Denmark. Meaning she is now over 50 and dating in Copenhagen"?
"There is a cost to that"... I think it's near impossible to calculate the cost - or rather the savings - of not leaving people behind in poverty. When everyone has a good life and a decent living standard the whole country blossoms.
I fully agree - I would like to see the calculation of a full lifespan. What did you earn? How much did you pay in taxes, fees to university, dentist, old people's home, kindergartens etc. You cannot only go in the tax rate. We have numerous stories from other countries where you can apend life savings on cancer treatment, disability etc.
@@decollector95 Why not?
Lifting up those that are in trouble doesn't take anything away from those that do well. In fact it improves things for everybody, since it reduces crime, promotes trust and just really the overall feeling of good living. It is much better to know your neighbor is doing well, that seeing anyone struggle.
I am from New Zealand and have lived in Denmark for 27 years. I have also lived in America for 6 months and have family there. I enjoyed visiting USA but wouldn’t want to live there again. I didn’t feel safe at all. Service in restaurants or shops was annoying in USA, particularly in restaurants where they never let you relax and enjoy your meal. They rushed you because obviously they got more tips with more customers. Even on fortidspension ( I have Parkinson’s and stopped working as a nurse 2 years ago), I can still afford to eat at restaurants and travel. As a single parent I raised 4 kids now adults, all got university education paid for by taxes. One of my kids, now adult, is disabled and sits in a wheelchair but lives alone (just got married so now lives with wife), has a degree from university and teaches. He has paid help 16 hours a day thanks to our taxes. That would never happen in USA or NZ. My life would have been very different in USA or NZ.
Yes young teenagers drink a lot but most Danes enjoy alcohol without getting drunk in advance as she said.
Danes complain about things much as in a family everyone complains about their family but no Dane I have ever met would want a system like USA. Just recently the government proposed tax reductions and the majority of Danes were against it.
Do you speak Danish because it seems to me a lot of your views on Denmark are not accurate
However I do agree dinner parties are usually more formal and there are more rules around food, particularly Christmas or formal parties.
I found that fireworks was the thing that freaked me out the most. Particularly New Year’s in Copenhagen.
The way children are raised and approach to showing kids how to kill animals is similar in NZ.
Thankfully nudity was pretty normal at home in NZ and that wasn’t a problem for me moving to Denmark.
I love it here and have a much better quality of life here than in NZ. Wages are great here and I couldn’t afford to live in USA or NZ.
I would not want to live anywhere but Denmark
you would be able to thrive in the US were you yourself healthy and if you had zero kids. The US is all about accelerated cruch lifestyle for several years. I'm from Austria but I know a few people who moved to the US and can afford a house there while they couldn't with their Austrian salary. It heavily depends on the individual whether Europe or the US has a better quality of life.
As I Dane I agree with teh kiwi.
Førtidspension 4the win,, great to have when needed,, keep it up,, ❤from Jylland
I think it's quite easy to find downsides in terms of safetynet in the US. However, being dual citizen I miss a lot of the drive and spirit I feel in the US. I just think it's important to look at like what the cultures could learn from eachother instead of competing what is best. It will always have several aspects to it different for each individual what feels like home in your heart and what your lineage is.
After 20 years in Denmark, this lady still think like an American.
And yes, we have a very different view on a lot.
With its 5,894,687 inhabitants (according to the latest estimate from the CIA World Factbook), Denmark has won one medal per 535,880 inhabitants. In comparison, Russia has won one medal per 2,004,518 inhabitants, the USA has won one medal per 2,964,588 inhabitants, while China has "only" won one medal per 15,885,201 inhabitants. So even though the Danes are not so competitive in sports, we still manage very well and we have fun in the meantime.
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
- Marcus Aurelius.
As a dane, this was 57 minutes of absolute nonsense.
Could you please elaborate on the things she got wrong about Denmark? I’m genuinely curious about Danish culture because I want to move there.
@@Itswat3vah Why do you want to move here, when you are not familiar with our customs? We have plenty of people here who are not really interested in the country - only what they can pull out for themselves.
@@peterrevens8454 I want to know about the danish customs. Why do you think I asked?
@@Itswat3vah I will try again: Why do you want to move here, when you clearly don´t know much about Denmark?
@@peterrevens8454 I want to move there to know more about Danish customs.
(Hun har fattet hat om Danmark.)
It is scary how an American approach gives such a twisted picture even after 20 years!
Way to much "knowledge" from newsmedia 😃
A caricature of Denmark from a caricature of an American
20 years in my country and she still doesn´t have a clue of things here. We must be more mysterious than I thought.
Spot on 😂
I was about to say the same thing. She is clueless 😂. Sorry lady you didn’t get it.
Danes are not pretentious but it is all about the intent.
@@rigormortis4837 she sounds like a republican that got stuck in Denmark and is forced to stay
@KimSrumPoulsen yes! I am an American living in Denmark for 16 years and I'm listening to this podcast and thinking, what country are you living in? I do not recognize the view of the country she has.
to me she comes of as a little insecure brat, who wants it only her way, it's like someone disrespected her in Denmark and her, supposed, authority got challenged and now she want vengeance
I wouldn't say I ever had a bad experience with customer service in Denmark. I'm Danish myself, so I understand the nuances in the language. Most Danes try to be friendly with one another. Sometimes you might have a bad experience in a clothes shop, but it's mostly very young employees.
ahahaha sounds like Paris in regards to the customer service issues there
Totally agree! And also, you have to always say hello when you enter and also thank you, probably several times during a conservation. If you are polite, you will amazing service in Denmark. It's like with friends. If you do it right people will be loyal and go beyond limits to help you.
I think this conversation explains a lot about why Americans are often less liked than ‘other people’. Every trait in the Danish culture is compared to American culture as if latter is a kind of baseline. And in doing so, making a lot of far-fetched conclusions.
It's a baseline for the two people having the conversation since they're both north American..
@@liahk1000Of course, but this podcast seems to make a point out of targeting all nationalities and is called ‘Dating beyond borders’. As such I would expect a more humble and open approach to other cultures, and being a bit more aware of the bias. I find this awareness very lacking in the ‘American approach’ in general, hence my comment.
That shows you're own prejudice though
@@biancas2639 no.
This lady talks a lot of lies that many Danes comment on.
I don't think you can dismiss someone elses experience. I find it interesting many Danes take offence and think the points she makes are negative. Cultures are different with positives and negatives depending your own subjective experience. I am born dual Danish/American and grew up in Denmark and I totally get the points she makes. @@hellebachmann8260
We mostly use the Jante Law to kick upwards. Not so much downwards.
Exactly, but it´s fortunately not as commonly used as just a few decades ago. Now when we see a nice car we say "I wish I had one too". Before it was "Rich pig! How did he get enough money for that?"
Selling books about how it is in Denmark, that doesn't mean you actually got a clue. It just means you're good at marketing.
I'm confused, I think she was spot on!!
@@liahk1000 Now that is confusing to me. Please elaborate on what statements she made you think are spot on?
We do have customer service here in Denmark, you will just have to ask for it. I actually hate to go to a shop where the clerk follow me around, or keep an eye on me the whole time. I feel like a criminal or i have done something wrong 😅 I think it it is really normal in Denmark to ask for help from a clerk if u want help and then they will do evrything they can to help you to find the thing u need. And if i go out to eat with friends and family it is because i want to have a good time, talking and use quality time with them and not a waiter. I find it annoying if the waiter is hovering around me and asking me if evrything is okay evry 10 sec. So i actually like it how it is 😁
And another thing is, that in Denmark you actually get a good wage so u dont have to kiss butt to get a good tip to get food on the table.
Where do you live? Cause that's a big factor. There are no service in normal stores in Copenhagen compared to Jutland
I don't live in copenhagen, so i dont know what they have there or dont? There is more to Denmark than just Copenhagen, I live on Fyn and we do have customer service, you will just have to ask for it
@@chellehansen And there's the difference
@@DanishCampThen she should have made a video about Copenhagen and not about Denmark. She have clearly not been outside of copenhagen.
@@chellehansen agreed
I cant really agree on the i only have 8 chair's so i can only feed 8 people, that is not how we do it where i come from, and i am from Fyn in Dennark. If someone ask if they can bring a person or pesons it would be a yes, because i will always have room for more people, it is no problem we just put more plates on the table and find another chair and maybe be a little more crammed together. And i grew op with the saying "hvor der er hjerterum er der husrum" translated directly it means, Where there is heart room there is house room or more correctly where there is space in the heart there is space in the house.
And the thing about not giving Kids dinner if they are playing with my kid is not because i dont want to feed other Kids if they are playing with my kid, but the Kids parents are probably waiting with dinner when they get home so it would be totally rude of me if the kid already ate and cant eat anything when they go home for dinner, so it has nothing to do with me not having enough food, but it is really normal to eat dinner together with your family in Denmark so we expect the kid to eat when they get home. I of course also have my Kids friends eating here, but then they would have to call their parents and ask if it is okay that they eat here so the parents dont expect them for dinner at home 😊
I think there is one thing people forget, when they talk about 'hygge'. It is a concept in use throughout the year, but the main reason it arose at all is because of the dark winter. That is when we turn our houses into 'hyggelige' (cozy) places.
Personally I love every season, and I don't long for the summer and the light when it is winter, but enjoy the winter and the darkness while it is there. I think every season are special and I think we are lucky to have them all.
As an American (Puerto Rican) living in Denmark for 16 years, and the amount of ignorant generalizations is a theme throughout this video.
Also the the way you describe the country, comes off with a lot of disdain.
I couldn't think of a worst person to advise Americans coming to Denmark
Unlike the USA we have no problem at all with immigrants from South America, but not so much from the Middle East, and Islam not at all.
@@agffans5725same all throughout Europe. Latinos are basically Europeans anyways.
You put the words in my mouth. Great comment
Spot on 👍
As an American who would absolutely love to move to Denmark, why is this lady still there after 20 years? She sounds like she absolutely hates it there.
If you consider moving to Denmark listen to RobeTrobbing (maybe spelled wrong) and Traveling Young they tell the truth about moving here. And as a Dane can I only say you are always welcome to reach out of I can be at Any assistance or you just want a guide of some of the areas I know pretty well.
True!
As a Dane, I noticed she doesn't seem to like it here..why does she use, 'we'
She should stay with, 'I' bc many of her opinions are not quite 'on the money'
Feels like she's just an outside observer & a realist, not a hater.
@@Mr_Stav then go outside Denmark, it sounds more like she hasn't been outside her house since she moved here
To say that there are "13 year olds rolling around the streets drunk out of their minds" is a wild exaggeration. Sure we might have tasted beer at that age but getting drunk at that age will lift eye brows here ad well. We do have very excessive drinking compared to other countries around us and it IS a problem for sure. But lets not blow things out of proportion thank you very much.
I wonder where she lives and what realities she is faced with on a daily...
I'm 8 minutes in this interview and already I'm thinking WTF? Does this woman understand danish culture and mentality at all?
I haven't read her books or heard her podcasts, but I sit here with a feeling of not really wanting to because of the lack of insight she have demonstrated within the first 8 minutes...... Sorry
I think so many Swedes working in Denmark is only partly explained by the currency difference, as many Swedes worked in Denmark before the recent rise in the value of the Danish crowns. I think it is better explained by Denmark having a much more flexible employment market. It is way easier to fire people in Denmark than in Sweden, and therefore employers are much more willing to take a chance and hire somebody they are not 100% sure about.
Denmark have a so called Flexsecurity system where it is easy to fire people, but we also have fairly generous unemployment benefits.
Yes true! You work 40 week hours in SE and 37 in DK, and even then you are only payed 2/3 in SE of what you get in DK. Work culture is very diffenent opening for misunderstandings.
And very strong unions. Which is uniquely Danish.
Also when you work outside Sweden you also pay lower income tax on earned money.
Still its only like 2-5% less than IF you would be working inside Sweden.
But it also depends on wich "Traktamenten" you are able to use.
You earn much more in Denmark even when the crown is not that strong.
Its also easy to get out of a job. It goes both ways.
I find it interesting, that since I left school 30 years ago, I have never heard the word jante lov, unless it is in these youtube videos about Denmark... I wonder who you talk to. Have you seen how much individualists teens in Denmark are today? They may not be bragging about things, but there is deffently a "Me! What I want! Dont care bout the group" (both in positive and negative ways)
Janteloven er noget socialistiske skolelærere holder i hævd, for vi skal jo alle være ens i den røde utopi. Jeg har heller ikke hørt om janteloven siden jeg forlod folken for 35 år siden. Janteloven er kontraproduktiv, holder folk tilbage og er menneskefjendsk. Den blev opfundet af forfatteren Aksel Sandemose i 1933. Utroligt den har fået den udbredelse i skolevæsenet og folkesjælen når man tænker på, at ingen (heldigvis) lever efter den.
As a Dane I relate to some of her points, but most sounds like she is describing another country I don't recognize, many of the experiences and examples she brings up, I have never personally experienced. And I think there is a lot of nuance lost and a lot of deeper understanding of the why's, that are lost. But never the less it was interesting to see her point of view.
Interesting to hear. I am a swede living in DK since 20 years. I recognize many things that you say. Also the swedes doesn't like 'bragging' in the 'american' way and talking with a loud voice or all the time without pauses. Even in your own garden, you keep your voice low and don't play music outside, not to disturb your neigbours. You don't interrupt anyone speaking. A thing that has changed here especially after Covid is, that I often find myself in conversations with strangers in all type of situations from meeting somebody when taking a walk, on the train, in the shop etc. - also sometimes ending up in deep and interesting conversations or just having a laugh together. I think it is very valuable to start to learn danish as soon as you move here. You can have up to 3 years of personalized, high quality full time studies for free close to where you live. It ends with a very formal exam with grades. Very usable if you want to study or work here. Doing that, is very well seen and appreciated and opens many doors. Danish is extremely difficult language to learn to talk, if you arn't very young. In some cases you also can get economical support during that time to be able to focus on your studies. But I think that you must start your danish studies within 3 months after moving here to get it for free. English of course is always working also in many work places, because the danes speak english very well, but mostly with a strong danish accent. Neither I, have had any problems with custum service here. Yes, I agree that people are friendly and patient even if there are some language difficulties or confusions leading to misunderstandings, just that I do my best to be understood and be kind. I don't agree with you, that 'danes' talk and act in a flat manner'. That is really an interpretatoin from your personal side or american conditioning, not catching the nyances of verbal and non-verbal expressions. There are clear nuances but sometimes subtle. You have to learn the 'tone' they use, to catch if they are glad for, dissatisfied or hurt with something you say. You learn that in The School for Forengers. They can express anger very direct and especially the younger generation are more expressive emotionally. The oldest generation are keeping what they mean more tight to the skin. You don't talk about money or politics if you don't know the other very well or' have a sense', that they mainly agree with your views. It is important to show respect for others views in the way you respond to what they say. To do that is a high way universally is my experience. There are clear differences if you live in West Jutland or Copenhagen area. I love this country and am greatful for the security and help we can get here when in need, even if I have to pay 8% more in taxes here then i Sweden and the cars are extremely expensive. Normal full time week day work is 37 hours/week. If you work evenings/nights/weekends you often work less week hours total. It is not expected to work extra without being compensated extra economically. The 'rush transport hours' are 7-8 and 15 - 16. After that you see people in food shops, fitness, or just at home. PS! Here it is time for a 'lagkage' (a cake) when you have something to celebrate or you are sad - when you meet, get back from a holliday, birthday, see a friend, a success .... Yes they can drink a strong beer late afternoon together before leaving the job, especially at manual jobs. I think people drink less and less and if and how you do it is depending on the sub culture which you are around. 20 years ago many were smoking. Now only few do. You 'underdress' or better said dress relaxed also in 'white colar jobs'. 🌍🍰❤
Hi, Dane here! You should be the one being interviewed on how to interact with us rather than her. She’s been living here for 20 years and still doesn’t understand us. Jamen-jamen… 😂 Clearly you see us in a much more nuanced way. Thank you!
Thank you for understanding the culture, but as a Swede I would expect you to 😊
I highly disagree with Kay in terms of “indifferent” attitude towards customer service. Customer service is also leaving your customers to have a good time in the company theyre in. When I go to a restaurant to eat, I also want to share a meal with friends/family without having to talk to a stranger who grovels for tips, assuring him every ten minutes, that everything is fine. I’m there for me. Not to support him and his family.
Janteloven is also supportive in the sense that everyone in a company is encouraged to share ideas. If an idea is really good for the entire company and workforce, does it really matter if the janitor came up with it?
In terms of friends … I wouldn’t necessarily say danes are difficult to befriend. I might be biased. After all … I am born into the culture. 😉
But unlike a lot of other countries, danes have a very tight friend group. A lot of us knows our friends from kindergarten, and stay close throughout our lives. So we have friends we’ve known for a very long time. And sadly … the thing about being a newcomer to a group … very hard to get “admitted”.
So Kay is probably more right about that. But … once you’re “let in”, you often have a fiercely loyal friend for life. Who will defend you to the death.
One of the favorite passtimes in Denmark is complaining. Are you really danish if you don’t complain - sort of thing. 😂
We are well aware of things not being perfect. And until it’s changed - we complain. 😂
As someone from scandinavia i just want to say that the brothers analogy was turned on its head here Denmark has allways been the more sensible one
Darn, being an author does not mean you know your subject. This is why sociology has a method to it.
Hi. Dane here. I made it 6 minutes into the video, that was enough. That very American woman has clearly only been/lived in Copenhagen, where things are very different from the rest of the country. She should try to broaden her horizons instead of sitting there calling herself an expert on Danes. I truly hope, that no one is taking her advice on how to behave in Denmark.
she's living in a classic American bubble but in Copenhagen
I was told by an expert, that you shouldn´t blindly believe everything experts tells us, and since he was an expert, I guess you have to believe that.
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
- Marcus Aurelius.
Thank you 😂
as someone who lived and worked in usa i am happy for my experience living in the usa, and i went back to denmark after 3 years, and i was glad to ho back home, i was glad for theyears living in the usa, it gave a lot of good for my life.
"Danes will take all their vacation unlike the U.S or U.K."...........huh? don't rope the UK into this...we (UK) always take our vacations!! Judging by the comments from the Danes in this thread, it's not the only nonsense she is talking 🙄
She have no clue, amazing after 20 years here ?
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
- Marcus Aurelius.
Her comment about costumer service is completeyly bull, I'm a dane myself and have travelled to 60+ countries and can tell you that costumer service is rare to find in any place, even in the US
95% I agree as a Dane on what she say, I will however nuance some of the things, about really rich people with a lot of success like Elon Musk, we do have a lot of those think of LEGO, MÆRSK ect. it's very wealthy families that Danes are very proud of, there are people doing great in sports we are proud of, Restaurants getting prizes ect., the difference is we don't like if they think they are better, having more value as a person, but we do celebrate their success, we don't like bragging as she said and we don't like if when people think they are better if they have a certain job, that certainly not mean there aren't people who are and see themselves as part of an elite they just better not say it out loud. About drinking I agree there is a drinking culture and some people drink way too much, it is however important to know it is far far far from everybody, in my close family and among friends there are no heavy drinkers they actually rarely drink, same thing with hook ups yes there are a certain segment of the population who have a lot of one night stands but that is as mentioned a segment not the majority, way less than there are people who drink a lot, about nudity it has changed a lot the last 30 years a lot of people aren't comfortable with nudity and it's not only Muslims it's in general
Most of what she said was rubbish. Only the few points you mentioned, were somewhat correct.
And we don't have a drinking problem in Denmark. Both Norway, Sweden and the US has far more alcoholics, than Danes. And they all three have way stricter rules. If I remember correctly, Denmark come in at around 70th in the world. And the best of those three, around 50th.
SHE DONT GET IT when she says we comeplain alot (BROK in danish) it is often with a glimbs in the eyes.. like sarcastic,, we no we have it made.. but its stil fun to complain... we want it to be even better... just chilling with the words ... she takes it way to seriously... sorry for my bad english!!!..
Entertaining, but not true. One could argue that everything she says starts as truth; it's the dramatization and interpretation of reality that renders it untrue. If one watches this video without knowing the country, they would end up with a misleading impression. The first half is largely incorrect, while the second half seems more accurate, though not entirely. The aspects that are depicted accurately are exaggerated to the extent that the truth is abandoned, making the video suitable only for entertainment, not as a factual representation. Many of the points that are actually true could be seen as positive attributes if they were presented without the American dramatization and deliberate distortion of facts. However, with the distortion, they are negatively charged. One thing that is most accurately portrayed is the darkness and cold during the winter months, and that service in shops is worse in Denmark than in Sweden.
I haven't been to the USA, but I hold a very positive preconceived notion about Americans and their culture. This is because I do not dwell on every negative detail I know or have heard about, but rather focus on what I perceive to be most prevalent. It seems that she adopts the opposite approach in order to produce the kind of sensationalist and dramatic content that is typical of American media. Just saying...
To me you describe Denmark from what I as a Dane have as stereo types of copenhagen....
agree on that she only describe people from copenhagen. she should travel the rest of the land too see how the danish people relly are
Blind-sighted stereo type is right. Copenhagen mostly consists of 1st, 2nd, 3rd generation from other parts of the country - with strong connections to their origins/relatives in other parts of DK. People like you do not want that connection?
@@bountihuntervoc Dividing Denmark like that is so deeply tragic, as interdependent and interconnected as we all are.
Exactly. That's often what foreigners experience. Copenhagen. Like it or not there's a cultural difference from Copenhagen and the rest of Denmark.
@@HelleKurstein It's not about division. Copenhageners born and raised in Copenhagen can tell you there's a cultural difference if they move to Funen or Jutland.
Service means different things to both cultures. I think it's important when discussing cultures that we get the why right.
Service in America is tipping culture, this means that the servers need to impress and those dining need to be impressed. But this is overstimulating for Danes, Danes don't like to be rushed, they want to eat, talk and enjoy the moment with the person or people they are out with. They love "nærvær" I don't know how to translate it but being in the moment with each other, so a good experience for them will be ruined if you have a server interrupting it every 10 minutes, stressing around and trying to get you to leave as quickly as possible. In Denmark a server that did this, would simply be annoying.
If service in a clothing shop etc or other shops, its simply trust, they will only follow you around if they think you are gonna steal something, other than that, it is polite. To leave you have your own peace of mind while you are looking and if you need anything of cause they will be at your service, but unless you ask, they just assume you just want to walk around listening to your favourite song or chat with your friends, and they don't want to interrupt your peace. I can't explain it in any other way that this, it's not rude, nor are danish people shy, often it is just that we respect the other people's right to not have to deal with us all the time. As we are not the center og the universe.
In dating, as a girl/woman, I found i disagreed a lot on the dating aspect, first of I don't want him to pay, unless he is really insisting on it, I would love way more a walk or cup of coffee, and flowers gifts etc on first date is way to much, fiat of it would be a bit of a red flag, second he should not have to give that commitment when he doesn't even know me, to the point on girls scared he will leave them, or what it was I don't understand either. He should only be with me if he want to and if he doesn't I hope he finds someone other there is a better fit for him, It's a bit off-putting to me, that he has to put in all this effort before knowing me, it puts a lot of pressure on it working out, when your dating you just want to meet some people and one day, you find one you click with. I have on the other hand never had a one night stand and I'm in early 20's and both are totally socially acceptable, you just communicate honestly.
I have never in my life been invited over and not been allowed to eat as a child, often they will just ask before of you are staying for dinner and you can say yes, then they make for you as well. Never even heard of the other and pretty sure that would be seen as really weird.
In parenting children, we believe in freedom under responsibility, so if you do your responsibilities you gain freedom.
And even if you do something very bad, you can get your things taken of cause, but the example she gave, poor child. First of it was not that bad, and the child clearly lied cause she is scared of the consequences of telling the truth, second a whole month, the poor child can't even remember what it did bad by then. That I agree is being a bully.
Also side note, children sleep outside all the time, but it's to get fresh air, so on busy streets in Copenhagen it's different, most will then be sleeping in the yard instead as the air is better.
Also janteloven is amazing, janteloven is the reason for so much good in our society, it's the reason we can have little unmanned shops on the side of the road without people steeling. Etc etc, it's the reason our welfare system works, cause we are community first, in many things. We also have many great firms and people, we actually have the biggest firm in Europe right now, Novo Nordisk.
We have singers and sport players as well, the difference is we don't yell at them for fotos on the street, as we respect their boundaries and right to have peach in their mind and daily tasks.
We also loooove passion, but we done like Karen's. You can yell if someone cheated on you, but don't yell at the cashier who made a mistake. You can brag and be a show off, but don't be a dick about it and don't look at yourself above others in value. Just don't be an ass and degrade others, that's not tolerated, not even from a boss or official.
Showing you Holliday, is about connecting and sharing your travels stories go back to viking times, so calling it a brag is a bit shallow. Also the sports gear, is most likely to say: Hey I live an active lifestyle, so if you are a sofa potato we are not compatible, without saying it out loud, also it's a great first date then to do something active together.
I could go on and on but I'm tired, so goodnight. ✨
I came back cause I remembered the point about alcohol, we do drink early, but we learn to controll it early, most kids starts with a limit for like 2 beers class beverages or so, we have parties at home and on school, but there is always grown ups to look out for us, and personally I like that we learn what drinking is and how it affects us in a safe space, before allowed to go to clubs etc when 18.
"who drinks beer and eats pork and lives in a basement" ... lol... very adorably stated and presented
To warm up(getting drunk before you go to a party or a night club)is a youth thing grown ups dont do that.
As a Scottish woman who married a German and been here in Germany half my life I’ve forgotten my roots a lot but I’m fascinated by different cultures. I hope there’s a show about Scottish culture one time. Scotland seems to have a mixture of Anglo Saxon and Scandinavian aspects. Shy people who drink to overcome it and definitely the don’t get too big for your boots culture. I remember all my Scottish boyfriends were shy too.
i am fro denmark and i know the maga lady newer been to denmark
think it sad, that after 20 years, she still doesnt understand us very well...... yes, it is true that we do not like people that brag.... but that doesnt mean that we dont want people to succeed or become the best....... what we love the most is the humble winner.... we ALL know who is the best, I mean he/she won, so it is obvious.... so there is no need for the person to go and say "oh I am SO fantastic".... a braggert is someone who is really insecure, even though they just won.
I wonder why Americans think that Danes drink more alcohol than the Americans. According to the UN health organization WHO Denmark ranks as number 35 in the world when it comes to consumption of alcohol per capita. USA and Denmark are on the same level.
I have visited the USA several times and stayed there all together more than 3 years. I have seen so many drunken Americans and the more I see of that and the drug abuse in the USA I wonder from where the Americans have got the prejudice that alcohol consumption is much higher in Denmark than in the USA.
Maybe because we have a more relaxed view on younger people drinking?
@@peterrevens8454 . Hm in the USA colleges have something called spring break holidays. I have been to southern Florida during spring break holidays and seen young Americans drinking [a lot] and doing recreational drugs. And then some Americans think that young Danes drink more alcohol than young Americans [21 years of age and older]. Tsk tsk. I have seen too much of the USA to believe that Danes drink more than the Americans.
@@olekreiberg I am not saying we drink more or less. But we drink all year. Not specifically on holidays.
The US ranks way higher on the list of alcoholics per capita, compared to Denmark. The same goes for Norway And Sweden, who also have strict rules around alcohol.
Yes, remember the swedish gangmember who got sentenced in Dk for detonating a bomb in København, he began crying when he realized he would have to spend a long time in jail, in opposition to Sweden where gangmembers from muslim countries destabillizes the whole country without punishment.
homes are not the same - of all my friends people I have visited, not a single one looks the same.
Thank you! So many people talk about the babies outside cafes idea but it's just not that common. Leave it to Kay to be honest and kind about reality. Love your podcast and books Kay and appreciate this episode as well.
I love Kay's unapologetical honesty. She is the real deal.
Not the typical "hygge" and "happiest country" nonsense type video by people with superficial knowledge of the danish psyche.
I admire her courage as well. The danes tend to retaliate against anyone criticizing their society, which they see as an attack on their fragile collective self-esteem.
Having grown up in DK before moving to the US in my early 30s, I can attest to most of her observations.
I left DK mostly due to the lack freedom, freedom to be yourself without having to apologize for your hard work & achievements, freedom from the uniformity and freedom from rigid societal norms enforced by the collective punishment under "janteloven".
Obviously the near constant miserable rainy, windy weather and long, dark winters didn't help either.
BTW, those lamps are meant to treat SAD syndrome (Seasonal Affective Disorder).
Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power gives the impression of being serious and universal.
"Janteloven" was meant as satire.
Danish students can study wherever in the world they want-still financed [by the government]. You pay back later through taxes.
I am 63, and I have never heard the death penalty joke. It must be a very local joke.
For someone who talks for a living I submit that you're generalising way too much. I'd take many of your statements with a truckload of salt
Regarding sports, we do have some fairly competitive soccer academies for a country of our size, but I guess that there is a difference between elite sports and normal sports.
The Scandinavian countries outperforms bigger countries in this regard. Especially Norway and Sweden. Honestly Denmark is a bit behind our Scandinavian brothers but we do have Tour de France winners and Le Mans winners to name a few. While this is fantastic we still trail behind Norway and Sweden. Unless of course we talk about football (In the USA also referred to as football even though they use their hands). In Scandinavia Denmark are by far the best in football
In Swedish and most of everything she mentioned is true in Sweden as well.
I studied in Copenhagen one semester and one difference I noticed were that people seemed a bit more outspoken and did take up more space than Swedes.
32:15 Danes don't think it's a great honor to be invited into someone's home. That's just rubbish! Yes, it's a kind of acknowledgement, but it's not something we think about. Just as it wouldn't be in most countries.
Regarding the 'brok' ( complaining ) i think its mostly about optimizing. We have all the infrastructure, and trained people. So why the waiting list, and lost time, to get things done. We ARE very practical people, and we know we CAN HAVE IT ALL, so it frustrates us when we dont!
We have spilled blood, sweat and tears for MANY years, to have our society. We are a proud nation. If we fall we catch each other. We work to live, not the other way around. Yes, you are giving trust, but that dosnt mean you are ' in the circle. Danes are not shy, we are humble. Compared to other countries, we know the world doesn't revolve around us. And thats okay, if you dont like the smell in the bakery, just leave. ❤
The complaining is, in a way, a tool to keep the politicians at there toes, so they don't take bad decisions towards the people.
so its complaining in a sarcastic way?
@@Clipisim no its not sarcastic. Danes knows that everything can improve at all times, because development is the key to success and sustainability. Everything is in motion, so if you lean back for to long, other countries are ahead.. take risks, invest smart, work less hard. 😉
@@stineolsen6507 then its criticizing, not complaining because when u complain its more like venting and it pumps negative energy when u say it.
@@Clipisim you call it whatever 🙏 don't wanna use time on discussion potato/potado! No time waste here... weiter.
As a Dane, it's such a relief to hear a balanced, informed, healthy discussion about Scandinavian culture. No, it's not a paradise here; and it's not a socialist living hell either. I follow American news quite a lot, and I hardly recognize my own country in the very internal American debates where Scandinavian countries are portrayed as either a paradise or a terrible example - I often feel sort of used in that context. Your discussion has real curiosity and nuance; thank you🙂 - Oh, and yeah, I think you are spot on all points; also the ones that are less comfortable to hear.
Dane approved! Thanks for the comments 😊 I am happy you enjoyed the conversation.
This was more an interview than a discussion.
A discussion could also make for a interesting video, digging more into the why of things.
One Dane approved - that should tell you something.
Read the comments also from other dispatches.
Get another source this woman doesn't know a thing about Denmark 50 to 80% of her facts are directly wrong. She doesn't know the country she is living in.
There are plenty of TH-camrs that moved from the US to Denmark that knows a lot more about what they talk about. I'm sorry that this girl should represent Denmark when she doesn't know anything about the topic
I have never, ever heard of any Danes locking away their child's friend away, while eating dinner. You always call the child's parents and ask if it's okay, the stay for dinner. Maybe it's a Copenhagen thing?
No it is not, she is just dead wrong on 90% of what she say, I wonder how she can live here for 20 years and be so clueless ?
Its not a Copenhagen thing.
Yes there is a price to pay.we Danes are willing to pay that price 🩷
Kay is fascinating and I loved how honest she was. I’m going to Denmark and this helped
Please don't. Denmark is full.
There's a reason why Europe are going to the right side politically.
20% of the Population in Copenhagen are foreigners. Do you think Danes want to be a minority in our thousand year old nation?
The only ones that think you are welcome are the industry that is going to make money on you. And the far left, which is despised by most Danes. . . .Especially after their resent display of anit semitism.
Maybe you should read the Danish comments in this thread. Nearly all are shaking their heads over this woman.
@@peterrevens8454after going and coming back I found out that the danish were one of the kindest people I’ve met. Honest, helpful and caring. I had so many people offer to help me with things even without me asking. I think that if you expect them to be overly in your face like Americans, you will be disappointed. But if you just get to know them, they are super kind and friendly. Also I noticed that they are super family oriented. Like everyone has a pram on their bike, so many people have kids.
I’m actually going back for 3 months. It’s definitely a wonderful place and you have to get to know it on its own merit without comparing it to another place.
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
- Marcus Aurelius.
The latest rape law have really hit the male population. Many males are not shy when dating, they are more scared. I would say any woman can get a guy convicted of rape, if they have been in the same bed. The law is very harsh towards the men. You basically need her consent in writing to do some bed gymnastics.
The fact that she even lies about what's inside the law should tell you that she is just putting things out there that she doesn't know anything about Traveling Young and RobeTrobbing (maiby spelled wrong) are both Americans that moved to Denmark and put a pried into getting the facts right, and they tell the story of how America vs Denmark really are. Forget this video it's bullshit from start to finish
Commenting as a listen. Round birthdays are where you invite the peripherals, the ones in between are where you invite the ones close. As I see it.
Danes are always encouraged to educate themselves. Not "just" young people, but people at all ages, and working for public and private companies. Sometimes the private companies want to pay their workers themselves, but the state pays for both education and pay people while studying.
I wish DBB would ask 10-15 other families/couples who have lived and worked here in Denmark for (many) years!!
This woman is the first person I've heard not at all understanding the Danish culture, the pros and cons. Fx. Robe Trotting and the Young family!
As an introvert in Dk ( dual nationality) I find smalltalk in theUS so valuable because I easily get out of my shell and never feel alone. Always an opportunity to feel connected and included. Coming back to Denmark the difference really dims my spirits. I would love to hear how us expats here use their English. I really miss speaking American but all my us relatives are overseas. I'm fluent in Danish but miss interacting in American more in my daily life. Any advice?
No Danish people learn American, but try interacting in English. ;)
I'm danish and can say, that this video is mostly WRONG on anything it portrais. Don't waste your time.
What an unenlightened take.
It is cringe when she says "we", calling herself a Dane. The only things that are characteristically Danish in her are her glasses.
Note, that almost all Danes get most of their friends from either the basic school (Grundskolen) or thourgh sportsclub or both. That why a lot of forringers have a hard time becoming friends with danes.
This is SO stupid. I don`t know if I should laugh or cry. And the story about the girl who got her braids removed to look more like the other children is ridiculous. This lady is SO incompetent to speak about danish culture
spent 24 hours there and i can see right away its not a dog eat dog society like it is in America
Strange, she mentioned the Swedes as the “big brother”. In fact, it is the other way around and have been since the Viking age.
From the Viking, we have learned that the Norwegians were violent once. They picked up a fight quite fast. The Swedes were the complete opposite. They didn't fight much, they were content in just a little. Kind of lazy, actually. The Danes were the clever brother, used their brains before going into a fight. Danes were the brains of the Vikings, Norwegians were the muscles. Swedes, the “boring” and a little useless brother, but he is our brother and still are.
Have a look at the history. Time after time you can see the Swedes just copying Denmark, and they still do. The big one: Social Democracy. Denmark 1871, Sweden 1889. The complete Swedish system is a copy of the Danish. BTW, Germany copied it via Willy Brandt, Austria via Bruno Kreisky, Spain from Willy Brandt.
Sweden is just a copycat, waiting to see what will Denmark do? I am fine with it, but don't make people think that Sweden is “Big Brother” here in Scandinavia. There is a reason why Denmark is way richer than Sweden per capita. We are the "Big Brother" and we still use our brain.
Actually much larger Danish Viking Fleets attacked Britain, and we had several Kings whom were also Kings of Britain (And an Area still being named: "The Danelaw")!
The one Norwegian try for this ended at Stamford bridge!!
But they had a much better "Publicity Department"!
Yet we lost Skåne, Halland and Blekinge to the swedes. And have never been close to getting them back. But at least we are very welcome over there now.
@@peterrevens8454 Not entirely true. I did negotiate Skåne, Halland and Blekinge back to Denmark. It was a night, after a Danish - Swedish party. It was all Swedish friends I knew.
All we should do, was close down Christiania. But they never did, so no Skåne, Halland and Blekinge for us. Needless to say, we were very drunk, but a document was signed. One of my friends had the document for many years, may he still has. So close, but weed at Christiania was more important!!
@@Gert-DK At first I thought "What the F are you saying?" 😆
What utter absolute and ignorant nonsense!
This is nonsense…20 years in DK and still ignorant!!
Why do she live here. Its like she hate everything about Denmark. Nu
As a dane this mostly wrong its a very americanized perspective on how danish culture works she got some things right but thats mostly the fact based stuff like taxes but the majority of the culture points are just completely wrong. If you want too learn about our culture talk too someone that grew up here or move here most of us speak English and we are more than happy to help you navigate
We don`t need to be accepted by our new neighbours, why should we be of the same opinion, cause we have chosen the same "road".
One thing that feels spot on for me being dual dk/us, when she mentions: there is more energy in the US. In the us you can drive a car at 16 but drink at 18. In Denmark it' s the opposite. Thought provoking. If I could afford it I'd go live in the States ❤
You have to be 21 to drink alcohol in the USA.
Can I ask where this woman is located when she says there is no costumer service? Because there is no costumer service in Copenhagen, but in Jutland you expect it and a business doesn't survive if there is no costumer service.
The ideas you expressed about the man's role in dating were from a very specific segment. You may be stranded there. Come see us at your convenience.
ROFLMAO, Denmark is supposed to have low alcohol prices. I went there for a new years trip and we crossed the border to germany to buy beer at a german gas station (~50% increase on the sales price for items), but ended up paying less than in a supermarket in denmark.
The low prices is only true in a Nordic context.
she forgot the part where danes go to germany to buy alcohol
@@JackJackrabbit and Swedes go to Denmark for alcohol...
@@JackJackrabbit I do that, I can get 2 bottles of bourbon for the price of 1 bottle in Denmark, and I live near the border so.....
@jenswand9264...she was comparing it to Sweden when the Swedes come to Denmark
Gosh I could swap the word “Denmark” for “Provincial New Zealand” and nearly everything she mentioned would be true
Except Denmark is nothing like she says. Of course you could find that person that fits it all, but you could do so in any country.
She is nice.... Love from Denmark. Love u both....
Thanks for describing us You get a lot of it right. Getting into the circle is difficult - this is an unfortunate side of Danes, and we can even get hit by it ourselves when moving to other places inside this small country. My apologies for this terrible habit.. Thank you for the description, you're actually not being negative but rather objective. Everything comes with a cost - you're right.
No nation is perfect, but I prefer to live in a land that takes care of the less fortunate, a society that contains a mentality that has its focus on the well-being of the entire population, and sees challenges, such as poverty, education, health care as a joint task. A nation, like the US, which exploits their working part of their population and allows a family with children to have 3 jobs without being able to earn an income from which they can create a dignified life,is a shame. Living in a small car with children is undignified, and says a lot about the political greed and general mentality. You have a lot of work to do for your own people. We, Danes have worked for generations for our democracy which we are proud of . So don't criticize what you don't understand the depht of,
Bad customer service is primarily a Copenhagen problem. E.g. Jutland is much more service-oriented.
When the GDPR was first implemented here in Sweden we had to remove every picture of the kids at the preschool. We started documenting "hands and feet", basically if the kids were playing with LEGO we'd zoom in on the hands. What we ended up with was 3-5 years of kids not having memories of their lives at the preschool. Sickening really because kids generally don't have memories from the years before 5-6 years of age. Good job, EU. 😡
That's more an implementation issue than it is a problem with the GDPR itself.
Aahaa ha,. the danish krone is a little. stronger than the swedish ?, understatement of the day, 1 swedish krona is 0,,64 dkr today.
She is in general, accurate. Best description of life there I've ever heard.
Janteloven, so many ways to look at it.
Short for me as a Dane - you can be succesfuld and people do celebrate that. Just dont brag and make others feel like less. In the end we are all just humans.
And just wauw, no service, no smiles, just looking at the phone.
Have this lady ever been outside Copenhagen, and is her mind still in the US.
KÆRESTE is used in two ways - boyfriend/girlfriend or dearest. Nobody understanding Danish would ever mash them up.
So much wrong told here.
I would like to say as a Dane that we do meet in person but its not as common as in other countries. About being social in Denmark their is like a social code we follow so we dont upset each other. You go like like a compliment or comment about the person your interest in. Its important that you state why your their or its considered rude to interrupt someone. Dont go for small talk but do take a interest in people. Your right about it being confusing for guys to date women because of the lack of guidance. My best advice to men is to not care too much what women want because they dont know themselves. Lastly yeah Winther sucks but you get use to it.
This highlights the reality that culture is more than just flags, food and sartorial sense. It is very much about perspective and attitude. And it can be nuanced to the point of concealment until a pivotal moment arises.
Kay notes that much has changed in Denmark and her homeland, the USA. As with the various countries in which I have lived it is probable that little if any change at the societal level has been for the good. The reason? The growing sense of entitlement, itself a plague on any culture.
My only experience with Denmark is a day spent in Copenhagen. I loved it and look forward to getting back.
Thank you for your enlightening exchange. As a marketer I pulled from it some interesting points.
Not being that competitive we still have managed to be the Home of the largest Toy Company in the world: LEGO. One of the largest Transport Businesses: Maersk. One of the largest Brewery Groups: Carlsberg and several other well known Danish Companies!!! We are building amazing Transport systems like the new Tunnel to Germany, without any German help and the possible profit will be all Danish. And as a German Engineer told a Dane during a Premeeting for the Tunnel: For Germany this will be the Tunnel of a Century! For Denmark, just another Tunnel, Bridge.
You forget to mention, Novo Nordisk.
@@renehansen590 Yes indeed, sorry!
Don’t forget Novo Nordic
@@denmark2680 It is on top of this Section!
She must sponsored by someone who hates 🙄🇩🇰. She is lost and doesnt have a clue.
I have a lot of small talk of my colleges. And that is importent to me. That dosnt meen that we have to be best friends. But if a college says to me, i need help privately, i will alway be there for them. But because we are colleges, dosnt ment we have to be best friends. But we have huge respect for our colleges.
First of all, I'm a Dane... SORRY... I know it can be hard to adopt to a new place, even after 20 years... But I DARE to say, that there is SO much more to Denmark and Danes, outside our capital...
I know that we live in a TINY country. But I have lived in some of the most distant places, with the some of the MOST honest, warm and carying people... And yes, you don't get invited... But you invite yourself... Or visit a colleague, after work, and beeing forced to stay for dinner, by their kids... I have been in that situation a LOT of times...
Do your kids do that in the US of A?
The thing about living in Denmark, I think, is getting down to earth, be honest, and don't talk BS to anyone, or accepting BS from anyone... Take off your filter, whatewer you "THINK", and just enjoy life... I know that we are a bit cold and harsh, sometimes, but we just tell the truth.
As a rule, we TRUST, and RESPECT other people, in some cases until proven otherwise...And dispite the law of Jante, we respect peole who made it BIG in this world, but like them not to brag about it... There is no need to... EVERYBODY already knows...
Danes might seems cold, anoying and "not caring", but if you get close to us, you might get something in return...
I'm a dane. I had my first drink at my confirmation at 13 and didn't enjoy it. I had my first drinking party at last day of school at 16. Parties in Denmark begin at home with adult supervision so it is safe and it is learned in a proper setting rather some place in the streets. But it is true that from 16-30 years danes drink a lot on weekends a couple of times a months but it is not an everyday occurance and seldomly on weekdays.
In the US they can't drink until 21 so the chock is so much bigger. But i'd pick happy drinking on weekends over alcohol abuse which is more widespread in the USA actually.
Hehe, I must admit the thing about conflict is not true at all. But I am damaged, I come from a fishertown and we fight about everything.
Thyborøn eller Hanstholm? Der er en grund til ordet "fiskerlussinger". Jeg skulle ikke nyde noget...
@@peterrevens8454 Kerteminde er der jeg blev født og fordærvet. Men jeg har familie i Thyborøn hæhæ, så det er rigtig nok, der er ikke langt til kysten uanset hvor du er i lille Danmark.
Thanks for an interesting interview! I could recognize many things, and I was impressed that Kay has such an accurate understanding of the differences between Denmark and Sweden. Also yes, the energy in the US is amazing, and very different from that in Europe in general.
That said, I think some things that are described as "Danish" are perhaps more about one specific Danish social class. A big class, but not all Danes, more like a third of them. And it doesn't have a lot to do with money. You can be a CEO of a global company and still be middle class in your habits and mores. And you can be a relatively poor fisherman and have a strong deep rooted culture that is very different from the one that is most obvious. The thing is that as a foreigner, you will probably never get to meet the other Danes and not at all get insight into their private lives. But that is the same in Italy and France (at least Paris) and probably countries I know less about. To be honest, there are some of the things that you talk about that I know exist, but that I have never encountered in real life. For one, in my circle of friends and parents at the local school it was a common saying that as a parent you could never know if you had zero kids for dinner or six -- because the children were always roaming about in groups and no-one knew in advance where they would end up eating. Sometimes the parents would come/go over too.
Mirroring your experience of the Danish dating scene is mine of the situation in the US. I seriously never figured out how it worked! There are so many rules and stages that were impossible to understand as an outsider. I guess that is why this is such a good cross-cultural podcast.
A small thing: the stories about the kids in prams outside cafés are nearly 30 years old, and back then it really was a normal thing. At some cafés you would see several prams outside while the mothers spent some time together indoors. Children sleep very well outdoors. There are several reason for why that changed, but I won't say crime was a big factor at all. One factor was that first Copenhagen and then the four other bigger cities changed dramatically after 1996, and after that, the space and atmosphere was not really as accommodating for prams and babies anymore.
Thanks for the insightful comment. Very interesting!
Lovely video but also very black and white. It is based on prejudices about Danish people. But hey it is a good way to initiate a discussion about us the danes :) One of the last stories is about a girl getting her braids removed. That must be fiction. In Denmark that is a very terrible thing to do. It leans towards the employee doing that being reported to the police or as minimum being fired. Actually it would be headlines news in Denmark
I think Kay Xander Mellish wants to make her point by making up a story. Making up things (just look at Trump) are surely the American way. Freedom of speach - freedom to lie
Bad customer service is a distinctly Copenhagen thing (maybe Aarhus a little bit). Visit the rest of the country and get a very different and much better experience.
11:00 Yes, we have restrictions on how many of a certain education get in. That makes sense on several levels.
First, the government doesn't waste money on educating someone in a job, they will never get. It's the opposite in the US, where countless people have educations, huge debt and never get to work in their area.
Second, you as a person don't want to be unemployed in your field.
Am I hearing that right that she lived in NY in her early thirties and has been living for over 20 years in Denmark. Meaning she is now over 50 and dating in Copenhagen"?
Yes, exactly. She has kids (a kid maybe?) and is dating again
That's correct, I am.There is life - and sex! - beyond age 50.😎
@@KayXanderMellishhaha you emphasized the sex like a true dane 😄
@@Seanonyoutube 😂😂😂
Two strange ladies, more or less with strange understanding of society.0
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
- Marcus Aurelius.