Destiny Talks About (Manipulative people, Redpillers, Human instincts)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ก.ค. 2024
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Chapters
[00:00] Manipulative people
- 10:12 Women, Redpillers
- 15:07 Human instincts
- 25:54 Do instincts exist in humans?, babies
- 30:34 Why do babies have crazy strength?
►Date: 8 July, 2024
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If I went full sicko mode I could beat a lion
How about two lions?
@@paulandreasallik Just take them one at a time. Easy win by mathematical induction 😎
8:01 Outing myself but I definitely used to be one of these people. I'm not sure if I can say "I wasn't aware" but I certainly didn't think about it. Watching Destiny point out these manipulative antics (not just in this video in other streams too) made me realize I was doing it and now I find it disgusting. Even when I have those random thoughts of past messages it still makes me cringe to this day
The cringe is a sign you've healed. Looking back on it and feeling justified is the real L so congrats on moving forward
I think the awareness of this type of stuff is just transitory, but likely on purpose. No one wants to really think of themselves as bad, but people are also desperate to feel secure, and in order to gain security, they use unsavory methods but force the awareness of this out of their brains so they don’t have to suffer the guilt that comes with the behavior
hey, despite of what the other person said, "cringe" is not the sign that you have healed. It certainly means you're in a healing period!
The next step is to get comfortable with your past again and not finding it "cringe" or even "disgusting". see it as a part of yourself and dont beat yourself up for it :)
Yup me too, middle school. We were very gay.
@@bonsaibaumchenlp2005 I respectfully disagree. I think there are some moments in your life where you did things that you should always find cringey or just straight up unacceptable. Not saying to hate yourself over it but saying that it was indeed something that should never be replicated and the fact you took part in it should always make you feel a sense of shame that you did that. I don't want to see that as a part of myself, I want to accept that I did that, be a better person and move on.
Ig we are probably hitting at the same thing though but just wording it differently.
Bruh if someone sent me that second message I would never hang out with them again. Who would actually send that lol
that's what I thought
Every teenager does this. Some learn and some don't and turn into adults that use this behaviour.
It's less consciously malicious and more habit and conditioning.
You're right, it's better to disengage or make them reflect on that behaviour.
@@PuddingXXL I mean it’s a habit, but a habit born out of an inconsideration for others and immense self dislike/insecurity. Not just pavloved into someone
Narcissist. Thats who. Real ones not armchair diagnosed ones.
@@CutACrow Go get help dude
Learning manipulation tactics from Destiny
I’m literally Light Yagami btw if you even care
if you are doing this yourself it's probably not bc you are a bad horrible person who wants to manipulate, it is a learned behaviour to help you deal with bad feelings.
i am a very anxious person & i would previously try to do anything to avoid bad feelings. ofc a horrible feeling is someone else not being there for you or being upset with you, so the response was to seek reassurance harder & harder. ofc if you do get reassurance you feel better in the short term, but it exacerbates your problem with dealing w your emotions in a healthy way & not being toxic to others.
there's a concept i found super helpful that dr k has a video about 'don't feed the beast' - the beast gets bigger & stronger once it gets fed that reassurance & next time it will be even hungrier for more. the only way to help is to starve it of that reassurance & deal with the bad feeling, realise it is going to be ok & we all have to feel bad sometimes.
that's also why it is important not to reassure someone who behaves in this way. you're hurting yourself in the long run, but you're also enabling them to hurt themselves.
I don’t think it’s about just seeking validation, it’s about subjugating someone else. If you were just seeking validation, you’d just submit to anything the other person wants. You want to retain power (validation) while also offering none to the other party. It’s still not because you’re bad, but it’s definitely not some innocuous neutral behavior
@@DavidJones-ot8qu yeah kind of, you are demanding they validate you but refusing to give them what they need (you backing off & not constantly seeking their validation)
what i mean is that while it is very selfish behaviour, it doesn't come from a desire to hurt the other person. it comes from a refusal to weigh their feelings to the same degree as your own.
e.g. 'i am so distressed, all i need to feel better is for them to do this easy thing. i wouldn't behave this way if they would do xyz, how can they refuse when i am obviously so distressed'
rather than 'they won't do this thing i want, i will pretend to be distressed so they will feel forced to do it!'
@@amagicallaura I agree 100%, and I would go further and say literally every harming act a human does to another human is motivated by some deep down desire to rectify some emotional lack.
This was honestly unbelievably validating.
4:00 this is how my mom communicates with me and my brothers about almost everything. It has definitely fucked with my head on a few things
The woman that wrote the Man Vs Bear article, wrote an update:
She states she’s had many angry responses from men who’ve been hurt by the article, but not one response from a bear. She keeps this up, gentlemen, and we may all be forced to send her some bears as a reward for all her hard, condescending work!
Knew someone like this. Tried to pull the “I’ll kill myself if you break up with me you’re the only thing keeping me alive” thing and me and our other friends got her to say “damn that sucks goodbye”. He in fact did not harm himself shocker.
Call the police on them. Will be embarrassing if they aren't serious and helpful if they are
@@tobene we knew he wasn’t going to because he had done that twice before already
The best move when someone does that is to just not even respond. Don’t even entertain it with a response
Yeah something similar happened to me back in January earlier this year. It’s been a bit traumatizing but steadily I’m trying to recover from it
I have had ex gfs threaten suicide. The way I dealt with it was to shrug my shoulders and go do something else, I dont give in to manipulation if I can help it.
A simplified version of this instincts talk:
It's really tempting to say some things/traits are instinct and some are learned when all (human) behaviors are usually on a spectrum that's never fully one or the other.
The study of epigenetics is a good example of this. Environmental factors will alter your genes and those alterations can be passed down for generations but those aren't really "instincts" even if those traits have been passed on for centuries because those changes are technically reversible and then the "instinct" is gone.
I think consciousness is quite literally antithetical to instinct, and this seems best demonstrated by our basic needs, being food and water. Although we get hungry and thirsty, no one ever is forced to eat because of these sensations, and we can even starve ourselves to death if we will it. It seems, to me, that everything else cannot be compelled if the most essential aspects of humanity cannot be compelled
was this from yesterday's stream? VOD links/dates would be appreciated
The date is in the description - 8 July
@@Majorwindy ah. i have brought shame upon my family name... thank you
Also there is a date on his windows hotbar lower right corner. Might help navigate.
I keep trying to write my take on the whole manipulative behaviour thing but it just keeps devolving into walls of text. THIS IS THE THIRD ATTEMPT TO BE CONCISE.
Excluding actual sociopaths, people who have manipulative behaviour are also expressing real emotional needs in the only way they know works.
I myself as a kid started by honestly asking for help when i had any issue, i was very often denied, and then i realised that if instead of ''hey, i need help with this, please'' i whimper and sulk and imply somehtings wrong, more with my tone than with my literal words, holy shit! people listen way more! And the way to break me out of this behaviour wasnt to treat me like a manipulative sociopath and just tell me to fuck off, there is a way to satisfy the emotional need without caving to the manipulation.
Something like ''hey, we both know this is manipulative, i cant just do whatever you want at a whim at all times, but i do love you, so i will help you, we will work on this issue together at the right time, today i have plans, so we will talk about this next time we hang out''.
If youre facing the 1 in a 1000 sociopath the response will be either ''okay fuck you'' or ''well i just hope i dont bleed out while waiting...'' or whatever, but in most cases the answer is along the lines of ''damn youre actually commited to helping me.. im sorry for being manipualtive, i will wait as long as needed to work on this the healthy way, thankyou truly''.
Most people who are manipulative, know they are being manipulative AND wish they didnt have to be to get atention and care, if you offer them genuine help it will be way more appealing than the coerced help they get trough manipulation, and more often than not they will feel both guilty and thankfull
Tldr
I think this is fair. People throw out “manipulative” a bit too much or with more sinister intent implied. I think a lot of people are just bad communicators and suck at managing emotions all the time, me included. It’s a learning process and as long as someone is willing to learn and do better then I think we shouldn’t always assume malice
Based but most people in that position don’t know they are being manipulative. It doesn’t feel like manipulation because it’s all they’ve known.
@@onashenwings3850just the term manipulation also sounds very loaded and it sounds like something that’s very intentional. Like when I say someone is manipulative, they probably think that person is acting like some kind of light Yagami type of person that is calculating every social interaction in order to get the best outcome. When in reality they just think they’re having a pretty normal conversation. They dont even realize they’re being manipulative
@@fontagra.6142 It is in-fact, manipulative though. Even the above commenter admits it
16:00 Destiny fails at adapting a Richard Dawkins life in the universe analogy LMAO
the name of what he talks about at 30:34 is called square-cube law
*Actual Psychopath:* Recognises the message as thinnly veiled emotional manipulation, pretends not to see it. Responds back 6 hours later with 'soz was asleep, is everything ok?'
6:50 what I hate the most is when you call them on their bad behavior and their immediate response is "I'm such a terrible person, why are you even with me/my friend?"
This is praying on your desire to protect them so you cow to their demands and change your position to admit fault for yourself when they're the one who is wrong
I just want peace and love and privacy. Fuck this world.
A human instinct is for example blinking periodically
That’s not an instinct, that’s an automatic muscle reaction. Is our digestive system also an instinct because it acts without conscious thought? That seems silly as hell
“Women do this sometimes...“ this man is downplaying the fuck outta this fact😂
Choose better.
@@michaelh878 wait what? What's that gotta do with what I said
@25min the receptors are for pH levels the CO2 will change the pH of the blood.
I guess I don't hang out with any
bpd people to have this types of interactions.
Holy shit my ex did that and I asked that very question "at least she was being real" but NAHH she was manipulating me even more wtf and she made me think I was crazy. Although I also gaslit her a bit too
all the stocks are crashing oh no D:
Dude this was hard to listen to. I totally do this. Not to the extent of like faining suicide but definitely the reassurance seekingnl statements. I know its bad and im trying be be aware and not have those kinds of reactions.
Destiny needs to look into the behavioralism side of psychology. A lot of this is just talking about the 4 functions of behavior.
nobody responds to that with "guess not lol" besides destiny
11:20 This stuff too true! My ex was like this before the relationship (should have been a red flag for me but i was too horny i guess).
She always invited me to her place at midnight and said i should bring something to drink with me so we fan have some "fun".
It only amounted to two actual sexual interactions. The other dozen occasions was her wanting someone to speak to (which is fine but women need to understand that blue balling and lying about this feels just as shitty for men too).
It drove me up a wall and our relationship lastet maybe a year. Issues on both sides, me being angry and her manipulating me caused the split.
Just be mindful and communicate with your person of interest people
People learn pretty quickly not to do this shit with me because I'll literally just not respond, in text and in person lol I'm not dignifying that stupid shit with an answer
He should read into epigenetics
Epigenetics is a sketchy ass field, same with evo-psych. There’s not a lot of evidence that points to much else aside from “genes can be altered” but we don’t know by what (if it’s conscious thought, or just environment), nor do we know what that actually means. Do the genes control behavior, or does behavior control genes?
Yeah vulnerability being shown to women is a mistake. At least has been in my relationships.
I am 100% not incel, nor endorse doomer-type ideals. However I can say specifically for my life, being vulnerable in a relationship i.e., telling emotions, needing physical things, etc, has been a disadvantage to my mental health.
Every time I've been vulnerable in any type of way, its been used against me. And it definitely had clouded my view in relationships in general.
Although I will say, there were times where i was vulnerable, and she was there for me in the moment.
That means that you’re dating shitty people. It’s perfectly normal to be emotionally vulnerable with your romantic partner, that’s partly why we have such a focus on romantic relationships in the first place. If you’re with someone that makes you regret when you’re emotionally vulnerable then you probably shouldn’t be with that person.
Unless your version of emotional vulnerability=yelling and screaming and basically being abusive to your partner. Not saying that’s you! But some guys can be like that
@@bigdadybojangls9219 I absolutely agree
@@bigdadybojangls9219Is it just shitty people though? Anytime I tell a woman some personal stuff they will bring it up when they're mad. This even happens with women you aren't dating like sisters or moms while with brothers it usually just ends with a fist fight
@@unsatiable3860Yes, it’s just shitty people. My current girlfriend of 2 years is the best and most empathetic person I’ve ever met. Here’s the reality: pretty much everyone sucks because pretty much everyone is suffering from deep seated anxiety and self loathing. Your odds of finding a genuinely good friend and partner are low, but the more you become self aware and caring, the more likely you are to push people around you in that direction, and the more you can identify and avoid those that will treat you poorly
Is it me or does he sound more and more stressed now, yapping about some Marxist BS like "human instincts are different now", and looking older, what's happening?