i m 75 yrs old, living in Amsterdam since many yrs. i watched your story just now..did'nt see it before. its an impressive story and i am glad that you did not hurt yourself..so you can tell it to the world. i remember the days - long time ago - when i was 16 / 17 years old and discovered i was gay. times were different . the whole world was different from what it is now. like you i struggled a lot with myself , thought i was bisexual but at the end i thought it was time to come out.. that was about 1970. i found a booklet with pictures of american boys more or less like you.. and i found out: i was not alone. not the only boy with thoughts abour other boys. still..i questioned myself for 2-3 years if i was gay or not. and...how to come out. It was rough, not easy at all.. but i succeeded to survive and some day in the 70ths i told the world - just like you have done it now in this video - that i was gay. i found a new kind of family with a lot of gay friends. my parents became supportive too. so here i am now.. it all starts with telling to as many people as possible that you ( and i ) are gay. which is just great ! thank you for your story. i hope you will have a great life. stay proud about who you are. greetings from Holland Ivo.
the algorithms of youtube just popped you up in front of me, and no matter how old i get (remember, i grew up before there was an internet, or cell phones) i always pause to watch wedding videos and coming out videos. coming out, because i wish i had had the kind of support people can give each other now, and weddings because they are emblematic of all that i came out to achieve over 50 years ago. you told your story really well, accessible, understanding, straightforward and suitably cautious. one thing you might have mentioned is financial stability. i don't recommend coming out fully until you know you can keep a roof over your head. congratulations on making it through the crucible. being gay, is not for sissies...
Hugs to all of you for sharing. At 54, I still on occasion get melancholy about my life. Coming out was not an option for some of us older folks until after high school, or not even then. I did not admit to my family until I was, I believe 22. Even now its never discussed. I hope you all don't think too badly about my intrusion, but this media is new to me. I'm a throwback from before computers and internet, at least I have been resistant to the tech. Off the grid so to speak for years. This new era we're living in shows so much promise. Openness is more common than it used to be. wish I could have been part of the move. Praise to you all. L. RC.
it's really stupid, if you think about it, to sit alone and talk to a camera, but videos like this change lives and may even save lives. I have a very similar story and sometimes the only people who understand are found on TH-cam. People need to know they're not alone. Thanks for the encouragement!!
Please don't commit suicide, u r to cute and this is Brave and beautiful of you too. Being gay is nothing, just like being straight is nothing, it's just a lot of people, aren't open minded.
I'm several years removed from these feelings, but hearing you talk about them with such poignancy reminded me of the importance of getting this message out. My hope is that all who are suffering over their identity will encounter this video and take you up on your offer. You are doing very important work. Thank you!
Hey man, this is exactly where I am at the moment. I'm a 22yr old male and having the exact same thoughts as you were. It's tough man. I just can't see the way out of this hole I'm in. It's been so long since I was happy, probably around 10 years. I am just so exhausted of trying to hide my true self
Be sure everything will be alright with the time. Just give it more time. There is nothing and no reason in the World deserves that one should kill him/herself for. Your Soul is Precious.
Hayden T - Hey, man. It’s 4/7/21. Are you still alive? I sure hope so. You are a valuable soul and as such you have a lot of good to give to the world. If you can possibly create a safe place, get to a place where you can have a job to stay sheltered and fed. Please take care - it’s been four years since you posted. I hope that you are alive and happy someplace safe.
@@panam4974 yes I’m still here. Thanks. I am more content with myself but unfortunately the circumstances around me have not really altered. A very homophobic atmosphere. It will get better...... one day
this could never have happened years ago... it is a miracle that you can express yourself Taylor please feel great about yourself and be with people who support you and are healthy inn body and soul
Taylor, I suffer with Depression too .. Suffered hughly from the FEAR and GUILT when I was Coming Out. I've been suicidal too. Your Mother is AMAZING !! Unlike Your Dad . YOU are AWESOME !! NEVER forget THAT !! Your Promises to Your Friends and YOURDELF helped You through .. NEVER EVER Give Up, NEVER !! Your INSIGHTS and Your COMPASSION for Others is AWESOME ..just like Me You PROMISED that You would never turn Your back on ANYONE who needed to TALK ..BRAVO !! I've just Discovered (6-23--2024) Your TH-cam channel and I think You are VERY WISE 🦉 .. I KNOW You have done GREAT Things since You ACCEPTED YOURSELF and will continue to do so .. making The World a BETTER Place !! BEST WISHES, Matt
Taylor, thank you for sharing your story. A lot of kids go through external issues with family and friends. Not a lot of people share the internal struggles they have thank you for sharing. You may have just saved an LGBTQ kid from committing suicide by sharing your story. Thank you for your bravery you seem like a good kid things to get better I promise, especially when you find your soulmate and whoever that is the universe has a way of bringing it to you everything you do in life builds another skill set for you lead you on a path find your passion and if it’s TH-cam or your business or whatever it is life becomes so much better when you live authentically thank you for sharing your story🌈🏳️🌈
Thank you for sharing this, you are an incredible young man for being able to be that raw and honest, I am 60 years old and still struggle with thoughts of self harm that I really have never talked about with anyone. Thank you for sharing your struggle and allowing me to admit mine.
I am so glad you made it though buddy. I would be very sad if you hurt your self. I will be honest. I am 44 years old and I still haven't fully excepted my self due to my faith. I have attempted suicide several times in my life, so I understand where you are coming from. I made a vow to God that I will never attempt to do it again even though I still struggle with it from time and time again. Taking the easy way out isn't just a coward way out, it is also the most selfish thing to do because it hurts those who love you too. The biggest struggle I deal with is believing that people love me. I hear them say it, but I don't believe it because their actions say something different. But I am also learning that people have their own lives and can not give all their time to me either. Maybe it's because I am an extrovert. Not to bore you, but, some times you have to put your feeling a side and use logic instead because feelings can do more harm than good if you are seeing things in the wrong perspective. I will tell you Taylor, You have a very good heart. You are a very nice person. And I can tell this by watching your video's this past lol 8 hours. Yea, I got sucked into watching you on your video's. Your a very good person and I enjoy your video's. Well anyway. I will let you go for now. Stay good, stay happy, stay positive. see ya later friend. Sorry for the long read. btw, my coming out did not go well at all. Well, maybe not 8 hours. lol
I know this video is old and I’m only just watching it but I’m sat here crying because this is exactly what I went through before I came out and even though now I’m out this still really helps with the small little bit of internalised homophobia that I still have. Thank you for this video, this really helped. Big love man ♥️♥️
This is so hard, I know because I went thru it myself some 50 years ago. I survived and it made me stronger and a better human being, sending love and blessings to u. Love your channel so much. It teaches me alot even at my age of 67. I was a late bloomer and I have struggled in my life so a old dog still can learn new tricks. Have a great day my friend.
*So important you shared these feelings on suicide...and that you keep on sharing your story.* You're not feeling things all that different than many others coming out, it's just that until TH-cam came along, there was no one to learn from...unless you were really lucky. *I left home at 17 in my ROTC uniform because that was the only thing in the house my dad had not given me...* Though some sort of reconciliation occurred, you just don't forget that. In the 1990's average age to come out was College and post-college; today mostly due to TH-cam and social media, average coming out age is now 16. Due to possible Family rejection and abuse, *no one should be encouraged to come out if they face a loss of safety, food, shelter and education.* It's okay to WAIT to come out until it's safe for you to come out! Rolling Stone and American Institute on Homelessness say there are about 320,000 to 400,000 LGBT homeless youth on the streets in the US tonight. Half are there due to family economics...the other half due to rejection and expulsion and family abuse. What happened in Orlando and the ensuing hate-speech that has popped up can keep kids from coming out...and turning to suicide as they see hopelessness in their situation. *I know it was hard for you to share the turmoil you went through, Taylor, but it will save a life...and you can keep saving lives as you continue retell your story.* You are a good role model.
I honestly like this full "version" better! My heartfelt kudos to your great family/friend support system (and you) for breaking the cycle and discussing this head on. Subscribed.
Taylor, you are so damn cute, sexy, and adorable!! I also had those thoughts, never acted on them. you are so very brave, kind, sweet, honest, wonderful, cute-as-a-bug's-ear. i applaud you for sharing this story in your life, and giving us insight as well. Thank you
I'm so happy I discovered your channel (via your live cast with Zach). You seem like a really awesome guy. I'm glad you didn't take your own life and thank you for being so honest and making a video like this for others out there who might be contemplating suicide.
Taylor-I relate to your experience more than I can tell you in words. I'm so sympathetic to what you went through. YOU are a Champion of Love and Strength to all the Angels that are struggling too! I TRULY Hope that I can meet You in Person One Day! God Bless You!!!
Taylor THANKS for sharing your story it's not easy being gay I should know I am gay myself. I am a lot older then you and went through some of the very same things you did.....SO GLAD you didn't follow through on your dark thoughts...you would not have been able to make this video. I know this video will help people so again THANKS for sharing. Peace and love to you.👍
Thanks for your story and message. I'm 57 now and have been down the road of considering suicide with a gun pointed at my head on two different occasions. One my senior year due to my mother going to my step-father's Uncle about me going to College (she was poor mouthing) and my step-father confronted me accusing me of poor mouthing to his Uncle. The second time was as an adult. Depression and despair. So, God provided my way of escape. I'm thankful that you were raised with a Christian background because that could have been part of the reason your life was saved. I'm sure glad you made it through all of that. Love you in Christ and wish you the best of life. Remember you are an amazing awesome handsome young man and you are always loved by others and God too.
It's cool to see this videos of people telling their story of self-acceptance, because for me wasn't really like for most of you. I, initially, thought that being gay was just the guy or girl that likes a guy or girl respectively, but then people's view of being gay distorted mine, so I spent 3 years of my life believing that I was not gay, and I just hadn't found a girl that really made me attracted to her. Plus that I have liked some girls before, but not in a sexual manner, but a affective attraction. During this 3 years I found myself physically attracted to 2 guys but nothing more than that, so I still didn't thought I was gay, till when I started to wonder again if I was gay or not, because girls never triggered anything other than affective attraction or friendship in me. But when I really found that I'm gay was when I started liking a guy from my class, in both sexual and affective aspects. After half a year thinking about it I decided to tell a friend of mine (one that I had already commented something about how I was attracted to my neighbor and how I wanted... well you know...), when I did she was like: - really? - yes... 😓 - him!? couldn't be other guy? - wait... what? - you're liking him... why him?you didn't liked him 3 months ago... why not another guy? there's so many more interesting than him. After that I couldn't help myself but to start laughing so hard, and be happy that she reacted like this. My other friends (boys and girls) didn't believe me when I told them and thought that I was joking for 2 months. My mother and father found out I'm gay 2 years ago, wasn't a beautiful moment, we had a 3 hours fight and then I gave up arguing with them I went to play videogame. Now seems that she and my father are more... used to the idea of me being gay but still don't really accept it. About my emotional I can say that I have a "fuck this, fuck that, fuck you all" button constantly activated inside of me since I was 8, so the last 6 years haven't really affected me that bad, maybe one sad/"depressed" day once in a while and then I was back to normal.
The word needs you do not ever doubt that, you are helping a lot of people deal with very difficult issues. You are making a difference and as you grow older you will make even more of a difference,. You are intelligent, kind, have wonderful values and one special human being. Do not ever doubt that!
I know that this is from last year, but still so important for young people to hear. You're obviously an intelligent young man with a bright future and the world is blessed to have you in it!
thank you for posting this taylor. i wish i would have had this growing up, i was in the same position as you and this really hit home for me. Im so glad i had my best friend at the time, if it wasnt for him i dont know what i would have done...
Taylor this has to help anyone going through what you did, to see what a strong, confident and together guy you've ended up being. So sad that you and others will feel the way you did , know that you need to talk things through with those closest to you. Love and never hurt yourself. 💜💜
Awesome story Taylor. I am so proud of you for the strength you developed in handling your inner turmoil. It is so important that you and others share your stories to help those who are struggling. In 1978, we didn't have the Internet and the social/political climate was much different. We have lost so many young people through the effects of bullying and social stigma. I remained coseted until last year and still feel the need to remain reserved due to my job. I wish I could do a video about the experience of coming out at nearly 50 year old, because the experience is similar but different in some ways. But the real story is that of spending so much of one's life in the closet, with the emotions and side effects of that emotional trauma. Each person's life and circumstances are different and their experience will vary, but the core message is to be yourself and not deny who you are to yourself. Please make an effort to learn the history of the LGBT movement to honor the memory of those who gave up so much to assure that we could be more free. Always hold a place in your heart for those lost either at the hands of others, or their own. *Hugs*
God bless you for your bravery. Keep sharing your love and light, and remember that life is bigger than all of us, and we all need to do our part and make the world better in our own way. No one can replace you , and you are really beautiful! If other people cannot see how unique and special you are, they have a big problem, and are blind! Believe in yourself and your own life and what you can contribute to others.
Wow - great video again Taylor! Addiction problems, suicide thoughts... many gay guys made these bad experiences (me too). I hope your words will protect many guys in the future.
I'm seeing this for the first time today, seven years after you posted it. I hope in those seven years you've had more than your fair share of laughter, smiles, happiness & love. I hope you're smiling today.
Hey, I had this exact problem, what happened is I wasn't sure if my parents where going to be okay with it, especially since my grandmother recently being diagnosed with Alzheimer's. So, I hide it, Then the depression became so bad that it was only my counselor in my school that knew about my depression, So because of my depression I couldn't participate in gym class. Then during the summer while I was visiting Australia, I had these thoughts but I told my friends parents and my friends parents asked my have you ever thought of self harm. I told them yeah every day. So they helped me and well everything is getting better because know I'm accepting of myself, My parent are and aren't there are days. But I've made it though and keep going. You need to believe in you not other people, Because I told one person before my parents and that was my best friend, I lost him because he didn't want a homosexual in his life, then Later I told him what if this was you and I was going to ignore you? How would you feel?, I never got an answer but the next day I had a group of people on my side supporting me and honestly that's all you need even if it's just one person.
During the relatively brief time that you've been posting videos your positive demeanor and level of openness have proven to be inspirational on multiple occasions. The decision that you made to post THIS video and share your past in the manner in which you did is SO incredibly courageous -- and despite being older than you came at a time when I NEEDED to hear and be reminded of the message that you conveyed SO eloquently (and I'm certain that I am not alone among your loyal viewers in that respect). I rarely post a comment but felt compelled to let you know that the impact that you are having on the lives of others (myself included) by "talking to yourself into a camera" (particularly with THIS video) is important beyond words and that you are making a HUGE difference -- just as Brianna did in such a meaningful way for you years ago. Keep paying it forward and THANK YOU!!
+Gamec0ckGrad I try my best to take down my walls with y'all! :) Glad what I'm doing is helping you, and thank you VERY VERY MUCH. Just remember I love ya and Today Is a New Adventure! :D
Thank you for sharing this Taylor. It's very honest and I just know it's gonna help save lives. And you're making yourself available to others as a source of support, and that's wonderful. You're a shining example of "it gets better". Be happy love and I hope love finds you X
You are lucky to have a supportive circle of friends. You were strong enough to share your toughest stories with the world. That kind of strength and support are what you need to surround yourself with.
Thanks for sharing this. And it's a reminder that no matter how far we've come in this society in acceptance and tolerance of all things different, we still have so far to go. Kids shouldn't want to kill themselves over being gay. It's not like it was when I was growing up in the 70s, but it could be so much better.
just seeing vidoe for first time and even thou its 2019 i struggle with opening up to other people about myself and its so true that the battle internal is more harder then the outter.
This is nearly six years after your posting. Taylor, I truly hope you are still with us. I am 77 years old now. When I was six I was having suicidal ideation. It was because I had 2 younger sisters and felt a loss of my parents love and attention. They were so pretty and I was just an unlovable boy. The fact is I was an absolutely beautiful little boy and my parents did love me. I like your reference to the "internal struggle" and its significance. You name it and I can say been there done that. A quote from the Birdman: "Warden, you and I both know a man is not beat until he gives up!".
Great video. I believe that it is harder for people that don't appear gay. When I would tell someone they would think that I was playing with them. Most people have know idea that I am gay. So I know how hard it was for you.
We all go through the same difficulties, we all share the same path. Apparently someone can look stronger than others, but I wouldn’t say that, I guess that we are all strong just for the fact of being gay. Instead, I guess that someone is just more fortunate than someone else, just for the fact to have close friends around them who can support them without leaving them alone. Friends are our strength. But we all share the same pain, the same doubts, the same loneliness, until we don’t succeed in finding our own way. In the end, coming out is a process we must do ourselves, it’s a fundamental step in our growth as human beings. So thanks for this powerful and emotional video, thanks for your bravery in sharing it, I really do hope it can helps hundreds of boys and girls who daily fight against the same sense of helplessness and isolation. You are very cute and sensitive, and I’m so happy you’re over all this. Everyone must accept themselves for what they are. And you are perfect just as you are.
Taylor, thank you for the honesty and bravery that you showed in this blog and also back then for not following through with those thoughts. You have a lot to give and you've already given a lot. Thanks again my brother. Peace,T..🤘
Thank you for sharing your story. Almost touched me deeply as it resonated with what I was feeling and gong through almost 30 years ago. I'm glad that the youths of today have the ability to see you and know that they are not alone. Thank you.
Here is a big thumbs up for what you've said on this page. Thank God there were people like you around during my divorce. I needed people who could talk me away from the edge and certain disaster. My divorce was essentially about my betraying one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. I betrayed her with another guy and I am still not sure why this happen.
You're so brave, nice and lucky guy! Glad to hear everything gone well, thanks for sharing your great story, for sharing these AWESOME videos! I would love to have a friend like you! Take care Taylor.God bless You and people you love!
Very good story, Taylor. Enjoyed your comments. I was a teen way back in the 1950s. We went through unholy Hell back then. Gays back then could be beaten up, humiliated, tortured and killed. Plus, many were sent to prison where they were further brutalized, raped, and etc. There was no "coming out" per se in the deep south at that time. We lived very frustrating lives of denial, pretense, and fear. It was awful! Thank goodness things have changed drastically for the better. One local high school principal had a gay porn magazine sent to his school. The package somehow got ripped open. People in the office saw it and called the police. That poor man was fired, humiliated on public TV, and had to go to court. His life and career were viciously destroyed. It makes me angry even now just thinking about what he had to endure.
Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate that this video is over a year old now, so the chances of you seeing this comment are pretty slim. I know where you are coming from with the thoughts and feelings. Every now and again I find they resurface at times of great stress. Just trying to find better ways of dealing with things. I too have a tattoo relating to past, present and future. To others it doesn't really mean anything when they see it, but I know the true meaning. x
So for me, it was middle school, high school, and college that scared me, and I came out sometime around the end of law school, because I was even scared there. My tattoo just says HOPE and it is on my right forearm and it faces the person I am talking to if I cross my arms. It is an instruction to myself to look forward with hope. I share the tattoo with everyone who sees me, and for some guys, just that one word has led to difficult conversations with me about their lack of hope. Be a beacon of love just the way you are.
I feel you, it's happening to me now for few months now. but yes, its so so much easier to take the easy way out. I don't see hope. But, keep telling myself, it's ok, it's ok.
It's haunting how closely this echoes what's going on with me. Every day I hold this secret in, I feel like I die a little more inside. I'm not sure what to do.
Hi Taylor, just discovered your video. You are a beautiful soul. I can so relate to your story. I have hated myself for many years for having feelings for guys. I have been in some dark places and still today am struggling to accept that I am gay. I have been through many counselling sessions and hope that one day soon I will finally accept that I am gay and proud of it. Your video gives me hope for the future. Thank you....Ben from Australia.
Amazingly brave thanks for sharing Taylor Robbins , I'm at This point in my life excepting me for me and doing good so far, but we all have are days some good some bad.
Thanks for posting this, everyone feels alone as a teenager, especially if you’re a gay teenager. You have emerged as a normal well adjusted being. I wish you well for your future.
Yes- that has always been the problem - how society 'counts on this' to bring hate and despair into anyone confronting their 'homosexuality'. Like you said - you felt obligated to 'fight your feelings' to the point you thought your life was not worth living. I'm so glad you made it through! There is always help through Trevorproject and other LGBT organizations: www.thetrevorproject.org/
im happy that I get to see this video, because boy the last three days i was ready to just leave this earth i literally gave up, but some how i stuck it out and im still here maybe it's the lord willing. please hit me up because i would really really appreciate it, well at least I can go to bed tonight because of your video thank you.
I run myself down all the time just like that all the time. I tell myself I’m nothing and no one wants someone like me. That hits so close to what I’m going through. It’s been worse lately and especially this year for some reason. Sometimes I come home from work and go straight to bed and ignore everything. I keep trying and I haven’t gave in but I’m afraid I might someday.
to tell u the truth ur story is very much similar to mine, single mother, one big brother and one big sister. high school rumor about me being gay. i have suicidal thoughts too but because i was so chicken i just hope that i would get a very deadly disease that would kill me but everytime i thought of it i would immediately change my mind because i can't just leave my mother like that. i don't have the heart to see her devastated, it's not fair for her. I already come out to my friends some surprisingly very welcoming some a bit uncomfortable but i still hangout with all of them but i haven't come out to my mom yet cause the thought her going so many hardship for me only to know that i'm gay it's just not fair for her, i still don't have the guts to come out to her yet. big thumps up for the video, very touching and probably i will start a youtube video too for myself. you inspired me bro thanks
Taylor My name is Eric from Oregon Iam greatful to you and most of all your courage to share your life. Iam a disabled man and our past our. Simular my first gay experience was in 7th grade and like you I kept quite through high school hidibg who I was and I still do to this day somewhat. Fast forward to 2001 I had my first Gay relationship and it went every bad it was very abusive and I had to get the help of friends to get out I then got scared again to come out. I made the mistake of getting married thinking like you it would go away it didn't I came out to my wife this was the hardest time in my life went through depression and daily panic attacks still do. We are still together because I can't live alone but she lets me be me I guess that's good but I don't feel fully free. I was rasied to believe this was wrong and I come from a military family so say this has been hard I have attempted to cut myself and live with the scars I want you to know you inspire me and you inspire the world maybe one day I can live my truth this August I turn 50 I know there still hope it's never too late. Thank you for letting me share I look forward to your videos more like this would be cool just hearing you talk one on one and be encouraging has helped a ton Here is my personal email eebbbarton@gmail.com if you want to reach out You. Have a new friend in me ERIC Seaside Oregon💙
It is so awesome that you put yourself out there it go to show just how beautiful of a person you are inside and out you are ❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘😘😘 you've help a lot of people without a voice. Thank you for that. You give me hope for the future. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
This'll end up helping someone, be proud bud.
+Adventures of Zach and B Hopefully so, thanx man ❤️
+Taylor Robbins Wish you would take a drive over to Tuscaloosa and do a collab with Zach.
+kentky95 lol I'm up for it if he is! It'd be a lot of fun!😁
+Taylor Robbins well, call Zach and get this going. lol
lol I'll see what I can do! He's a lot bigger than me on TH-cam so we'll see!
i m 75 yrs old, living in Amsterdam since many yrs.
i watched your story just now..did'nt see it before.
its an impressive story and i am glad that you did not hurt yourself..so you can tell it to the world.
i remember the days - long time ago - when i was 16 / 17 years old and discovered i was gay.
times were different . the whole world was different from what it is now.
like you i struggled a lot with myself , thought i was bisexual but at the end i thought it was time to come out.. that was about 1970.
i found a booklet with pictures of american boys more or less like you.. and i found out: i was not alone. not the only boy with thoughts abour other boys.
still..i questioned myself for 2-3 years if i was gay or not.
and...how to come out.
It was rough, not easy at all.. but i succeeded to survive and some day in the 70ths i told the world - just like you have done it now in this video - that i was gay.
i found a new kind of family with a lot of gay friends. my parents became supportive too.
so here i am now.. it all starts with telling to as many people as possible that you ( and i ) are gay.
which is just great !
thank you for your story.
i hope you will have a great life.
stay proud about who you are.
greetings from Holland
Ivo.
Don't know you but I love ❤️ you and appreciate your story...God Bless!!
If this video helps even one person, it is successful beyond measure. You are a hero, Taylor. God bless you.
the algorithms of youtube just popped you up in front of me, and no matter how old i get (remember, i grew up before there was an internet, or cell phones) i always pause to watch wedding videos and coming out videos. coming out, because i wish i had had the kind of support people can give each other now, and weddings because they are emblematic of all that i came out to achieve over 50 years ago.
you told your story really well, accessible, understanding, straightforward and suitably cautious. one thing you might have mentioned is financial stability. i don't recommend coming out fully until you know you can keep a roof over your head.
congratulations on making it through the crucible. being gay, is not for sissies...
Hugs to all of you for sharing. At 54, I still on occasion get melancholy about my life. Coming out was not an option for some of us older folks until after high school, or not even then. I did not admit to my family until I was, I believe 22. Even now its never discussed. I hope you all don't think too badly about my intrusion, but this media is new to me. I'm a throwback from before computers and internet, at least I have been resistant to the tech. Off the grid so to speak for years.
This new era we're living in shows so much promise. Openness is more common than it used to be. wish I could have been part of the move. Praise to you all. L. RC.
it's really stupid, if you think about it, to sit alone and talk to a camera, but videos like this change lives and may even save lives. I have a very similar story and sometimes the only people who understand are found on TH-cam. People need to know they're not alone. Thanks for the encouragement!!
Please don't commit suicide, u r to cute and this is Brave and beautiful of you too. Being gay is nothing, just like being straight is nothing, it's just a lot of people, aren't open minded.
I was my own worst enemy for a very long time.
I'm several years removed from these feelings, but hearing you talk about them with such poignancy reminded me of the importance of getting this message out. My hope is that all who are suffering over their identity will encounter this video and take you up on your offer. You are doing very important work. Thank you!
Well said. I've added this video to my Suicide and Self-harm playlist. I hope your words will save at least one life.
Damn incredible story to tell. I'm really fkin glad you overcame these obstacles. You bring light to this bleak world.
Hey man, this is exactly where I am at the moment. I'm a 22yr old male and having the exact same thoughts as you were. It's tough man. I just can't see the way out of this hole I'm in. It's been so long since I was happy, probably around 10 years. I am just so exhausted of trying to hide my true self
Be sure everything will be alright with the time. Just give it more time. There is nothing and no reason in the World deserves that one should kill him/herself for. Your Soul is Precious.
How are things now?
Hayden T - Hey, man. It’s 4/7/21. Are you still alive? I sure hope so. You are a valuable soul and as such you have a lot of good to give to the world. If you can possibly create a safe place, get to a place where you can have a job to stay sheltered and fed. Please take care - it’s been four years since you posted. I hope that you are alive and happy someplace safe.
@@panam4974 yes I’m still here. Thanks. I am more content with myself but unfortunately the circumstances around me have not really altered. A very homophobic atmosphere. It will get better...... one day
@@haydent135 same for me. Except my faith which i have believed 100% and my sexuality, which looking back started around 3rd or 4th grade.
This was incredibly brave of you. Well done Taylor!
+WhiskersInc thank ya :)
+Taylor Robbins It's better being gay or straight then being bisexual.
this could never have happened years ago... it is a miracle that you can express yourself
Taylor please feel great about yourself and be with people who support you and are healthy inn body and soul
Taylor,
I suffer with Depression too .. Suffered hughly from the FEAR and GUILT when I was Coming Out. I've been suicidal too. Your Mother is AMAZING !! Unlike Your Dad .
YOU are AWESOME !! NEVER forget THAT !! Your Promises to Your Friends and YOURDELF helped You through .. NEVER EVER Give Up, NEVER !! Your INSIGHTS and Your COMPASSION for Others is AWESOME ..just like Me You PROMISED that You would never turn Your back on ANYONE who needed to TALK ..BRAVO !!
I've just Discovered (6-23--2024) Your TH-cam channel and I think You are VERY WISE 🦉 .. I KNOW You have done GREAT Things since You ACCEPTED YOURSELF and will continue to do so .. making The World a BETTER Place !!
BEST WISHES,
Matt
This was really hard to watch. I commend you for your courage and perseverance. God bless you.
i love you taylor and im glad you're still with us. friends are the best thing in the world to pull us out of the worst situations
This is so heartbreaking. Hope you're okay now :)
Taylor, thank you for sharing your story. A lot of kids go through external issues with family and friends. Not a lot of people share the internal struggles they have thank you for sharing. You may have just saved an LGBTQ kid from committing suicide by sharing your story. Thank you for your bravery you seem like a good kid things to get better I promise, especially when you find your soulmate and whoever that is the universe has a way of bringing it to you everything you do in life builds another skill set for you lead you on a path find your passion and if it’s TH-cam or your business or whatever it is life becomes so much better when you live authentically thank you for sharing your story🌈🏳️🌈
I sometimes feel alone and unsure but watching videos like yours. Helps validate what I feel/think.
Thank you for sharing this, you are an incredible young man for being able to be that raw and honest, I am 60 years old and still struggle with thoughts of self harm that I really have never talked about with anyone. Thank you for sharing your struggle and allowing me to admit mine.
I am so glad you made it though buddy. I would be very sad if you hurt your self. I will be honest. I am 44 years old and I still haven't fully excepted my self due to my faith. I have attempted suicide several times in my life, so I understand where you are coming from. I made a vow to God that I will never attempt to do it again even though I still struggle with it from time and time again. Taking the easy way out isn't just a coward way out, it is also the most selfish thing to do because it hurts those who love you too. The biggest struggle I deal with is believing that people love me. I hear them say it, but I don't believe it because their actions say something different. But I am also learning that people have their own lives and can not give all their time to me either. Maybe it's because I am an extrovert. Not to bore you, but, some times you have to put your feeling a side and use logic instead because feelings can do more harm than good if you are seeing things in the wrong perspective. I will tell you Taylor, You have a very good heart. You are a very nice person. And I can tell this by watching your video's this past lol 8 hours. Yea, I got sucked into watching you on your video's. Your a very good person and I enjoy your video's. Well anyway. I will let you go for now. Stay good, stay happy, stay positive. see ya later friend. Sorry for the long read. btw, my coming out did not go well at all. Well, maybe not 8 hours. lol
what a powerful story. thank you for sharing this.
Aww you're mother seems like a lovely person you're very lucky go have in your corner. Supporting and encouraging. Wonderful to hear about.
I know this video is old and I’m only just watching it but I’m sat here crying because this is exactly what I went through before I came out and even though now I’m out this still really helps with the small little bit of internalised homophobia that I still have. Thank you for this video, this really helped. Big love man ♥️♥️
Great job Taylor. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story.
This is so hard, I know because I went thru it myself some 50 years ago. I survived and it made me stronger and a better human being, sending love and blessings to u. Love your channel so much. It teaches me alot even at my age of 67. I was a late bloomer and I have struggled in my life so a old dog still can learn new tricks. Have a great day my friend.
Yours is perhaps the best & most powerful coming out video I've seen. I am so happy for you. Thanks for sharing.
You are a brave soul! ❤
I have scars on my wrist to prove that I know what you felt. know this... you are beautiful, you matter, and you have a world of people who love you.
*So important you shared these feelings on suicide...and that you keep on sharing your story.* You're not feeling things all that different than many others coming out, it's just that until TH-cam came along, there was no one to learn from...unless you were really lucky. *I left home at 17 in my ROTC uniform because that was the only thing in the house my dad had not given me...* Though some sort of reconciliation occurred, you just don't forget that.
In the 1990's average age to come out was College and post-college; today mostly due to TH-cam and social media, average coming out age is now 16. Due to possible Family rejection and abuse, *no one should be encouraged to come out if they face a loss of safety, food, shelter and education.* It's okay to WAIT to come out until it's safe for you to come out!
Rolling Stone and American Institute on Homelessness say there are about 320,000 to 400,000 LGBT homeless youth on the streets in the US tonight. Half are there due to family economics...the other half due to rejection and expulsion and family abuse. What happened in Orlando and the ensuing hate-speech that has popped up can keep kids from coming out...and turning to suicide as they see hopelessness in their situation. *I know it was hard for you to share the turmoil you went through, Taylor, but it will save a life...and you can keep saving lives as you continue retell your story.* You are a good role model.
I honestly like this full "version" better! My heartfelt kudos to your great family/friend support system (and you) for breaking the cycle and discussing this head on. Subscribed.
Taylor, you are so damn cute, sexy, and adorable!! I also had those thoughts, never acted on them. you are so very brave, kind, sweet, honest, wonderful, cute-as-a-bug's-ear. i applaud you for sharing this story in your life, and giving us insight as well. Thank you
I'm so happy I discovered your channel (via your live cast with Zach). You seem like a really awesome guy. I'm glad you didn't take your own life and thank you for being so honest and making a video like this for others out there who might be contemplating suicide.
I've been there son, you're doing fine and helping other young people with this part of life.
Taylor-I relate to your experience more than I can tell you in words. I'm so sympathetic to what you went through. YOU are a Champion of Love and Strength to all the Angels that are struggling too! I TRULY Hope that I can meet You in Person One Day! God Bless You!!!
Taylor THANKS for sharing your story it's not easy being gay I should know I am gay myself. I am a lot older then you and went through some of the very same things you did.....SO GLAD you didn't follow through on your dark thoughts...you would not have been able to make this video. I know this video will help people so again THANKS for sharing. Peace and love to you.👍
+Gary Gary It's always a pleasure to share with you guys❤️
"Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter" -Theo Geisel
Thanks for your story and message. I'm 57 now and have been down the road of considering suicide with a gun pointed at my head on two different occasions. One my senior year due to my mother going to my step-father's Uncle about me going to College (she was poor mouthing) and my step-father confronted me accusing me of poor mouthing to his Uncle. The second time was as an adult. Depression and despair. So, God provided my way of escape. I'm thankful that you were raised with a Christian background because that could have been part of the reason your life was saved. I'm sure glad you made it through all of that. Love you in Christ and wish you the best of life. Remember you are an amazing awesome handsome young man and you are always loved by others and God too.
It's cool to see this videos of people telling their story of self-acceptance, because for me wasn't really like for most of you. I, initially, thought that being gay was just the guy or girl that likes a guy or girl respectively, but then people's view of being gay distorted mine, so I spent 3 years of my life believing that I was not gay, and I just hadn't found a girl that really made me attracted to her. Plus that I have liked some girls before, but not in a sexual manner, but a affective attraction. During this 3 years I found myself physically attracted to 2 guys but nothing more than that, so I still didn't thought I was gay, till when I started to wonder again if I was gay or not, because girls never triggered anything other than affective attraction or friendship in me. But when I really found that I'm gay was when I started liking a guy from my class, in both sexual and affective aspects. After half a year thinking about it I decided to tell a friend of mine (one that I had already commented something about how I was attracted to my neighbor and how I wanted... well you know...), when I did she was like:
- really?
- yes... 😓
- him!? couldn't be other guy?
- wait... what?
- you're liking him... why him?you didn't liked him 3 months ago... why not another guy? there's so many more interesting than him.
After that I couldn't help myself but to start laughing so hard, and be happy that she reacted like this. My other friends (boys and girls) didn't believe me when I told them and thought that I was joking for 2 months. My mother and father found out I'm gay 2 years ago, wasn't a beautiful moment, we had a 3 hours fight and then I gave up arguing with them I went to play videogame. Now seems that she and my father are more... used to the idea of me being gay but still don't really accept it.
About my emotional I can say that I have a "fuck this, fuck that, fuck you all" button constantly activated inside of me since I was 8, so the last 6 years haven't really affected me that bad, maybe one sad/"depressed" day once in a while and then I was back to normal.
The word needs you do not ever doubt that, you are helping a lot of people deal with very difficult issues. You are making a difference and as you grow older you will make even more of a difference,. You are intelligent, kind, have wonderful values and one special human being. Do not ever doubt that!
I know that this is from last year, but still so important for young people to hear. You're obviously an intelligent young man with a bright future and the world is blessed to have you in it!
thank you for posting this taylor. i wish i would have had this growing up, i was in the same position as you and this really hit home for me. Im so glad i had my best friend at the time, if it wasnt for him i dont know what i would have done...
Amazingly good video Taylor! I’m personally so glad you made this video! I know it helps people.
Taylor this has to help anyone going through what you did, to see what a strong, confident and together guy you've ended up being. So sad that you and others will feel the way you did , know that you need to talk things through with those closest to you. Love and never hurt yourself. 💜💜
Taylor. you're going to have helped a lot of people. i really enjoyed your sharing. Stay strong.
Awesome story Taylor. I am so proud of you for the strength you developed in handling your inner turmoil. It is so important that you and others share your stories to help those who are struggling.
In 1978, we didn't have the Internet and the social/political climate was much different. We have lost so many young people through the effects of bullying and social stigma. I remained coseted until last year and still feel the need to remain reserved due to my job. I wish I could do a video about the experience of coming out at nearly 50 year old, because the experience is similar but different in some ways. But the real story is that of spending so much of one's life in the closet, with the emotions and side effects of that emotional trauma. Each person's life and circumstances are different and their experience will vary, but the core message is to be yourself and not deny who you are to yourself.
Please make an effort to learn the history of the LGBT movement to honor the memory of those who gave up so much to assure that we could be more free. Always hold a place in your heart for those lost either at the hands of others, or their own.
*Hugs*
God bless you for your bravery. Keep sharing your love and light, and remember that life is bigger than all of us, and we all need to do our part and make the world better in our own way. No one can replace you , and you are really beautiful! If other people cannot see how unique and special you are, they have a big problem, and are blind! Believe in yourself and your own life and what you can contribute to others.
Wow - great video again Taylor! Addiction problems, suicide thoughts... many gay guys made these bad experiences (me too). I hope your words will protect many guys in the future.
I'm seeing this for the first time today, seven years after you posted it. I hope in those seven years you've had more than your fair share of laughter, smiles, happiness & love. I hope you're smiling today.
Well said Taylor, The internal struggle is always a tough journey but as they say It just gets better and remember to just do you screw the haters!
Hey, I had this exact problem, what happened is I wasn't sure if my parents where going to be okay with it, especially since my grandmother recently being diagnosed with Alzheimer's. So, I hide it, Then the depression became so bad that it was only my counselor in my school that knew about my depression, So because of my depression I couldn't participate in gym class. Then during the summer while I was visiting Australia, I had these thoughts but I told my friends parents and my friends parents asked my have you ever thought of self harm. I told them yeah every day. So they helped me and well everything is getting better because know I'm accepting of myself, My parent are and aren't there are days. But I've made it though and keep going. You need to believe in you not other people, Because I told one person before my parents and that was my best friend, I lost him because he didn't want a homosexual in his life, then Later I told him what if this was you and I was going to ignore you? How would you feel?, I never got an answer but the next day I had a group of people on my side supporting me and honestly that's all you need even if it's just one person.
Thanks for sharing your story. Keep the faith. Best wishes, Taylor.
Thanks for your vid! I'm glad you are still here :-)
During the relatively brief time that you've been posting videos your positive demeanor and level of openness have proven to be inspirational on multiple occasions. The decision that you made to post THIS video and share your past in the manner in which you did is SO incredibly courageous -- and despite being older than you came at a time when I NEEDED to hear and be reminded of the message that you conveyed SO eloquently (and I'm certain that I am not alone among your loyal viewers in that respect). I rarely post a comment but felt compelled to let you know that the impact that you are having on the lives of others (myself included) by "talking to yourself into a camera" (particularly with THIS video) is important beyond words and that you are making a HUGE difference -- just as Brianna did in such a meaningful way for you years ago. Keep paying it forward and THANK YOU!!
+Gamec0ckGrad I try my best to take down my walls with y'all! :) Glad what I'm doing is helping you, and thank you VERY VERY MUCH. Just remember I love ya and Today Is a New Adventure! :D
Thank you for sharing this Taylor. It's very honest and I just know it's gonna help save lives. And you're making yourself available to others as a source of support, and that's wonderful. You're a shining example of "it gets better". Be happy love and I hope love finds you X
Awesome job. You are correct if we learn to learn and respect ourselves then no one else can hurt us. FAITH and TRUST.
You are lucky to have a supportive circle of friends. You were strong enough to share your toughest stories with the world. That kind of strength and support are what you need to surround yourself with.
Thanks for sharing this. And it's a reminder that no matter how far we've come in this society in acceptance and tolerance of all things different, we still have so far to go. Kids shouldn't want to kill themselves over being gay. It's not like it was when I was growing up in the 70s, but it could be so much better.
just seeing vidoe for first time and even thou its 2019 i struggle with opening up to other people about myself and its so true that the battle internal is more harder then the outter.
I have been where you were, and I am glad that you are here today and are an amazing giving person through your youtube channel.
This is nearly six years after your posting. Taylor, I truly hope you are still with us. I am 77 years old now. When I was six I was having suicidal ideation. It was because I had 2 younger sisters and felt a loss of my parents love and attention. They were so pretty and I was just an unlovable boy. The fact is I was an absolutely beautiful little boy and my parents did love me.
I like your reference to the "internal struggle" and its significance. You name it and I can say been there done that. A quote from the Birdman: "Warden, you and I both know a man is not beat until he gives up!".
Great video. I believe that it is harder for people that don't appear gay. When I would tell someone they would think that I was playing with them. Most people have know idea that I am gay. So I know how hard it was for you.
Gays are the best people in the world... I am still very scared how bad some people treat us because we are what we are...
We all go through the same difficulties, we all share the same path. Apparently someone can look stronger than others, but I wouldn’t say that, I guess that we are all strong just for the fact of being gay. Instead, I guess that someone is just more fortunate than someone else, just for the fact to have close friends around them who can support them without leaving them alone. Friends are our strength. But we all share the same pain, the same doubts, the same loneliness, until we don’t succeed in finding our own way. In the end, coming out is a process we must do ourselves, it’s a fundamental step in our growth as human beings. So thanks for this powerful and emotional video, thanks for your bravery in sharing it, I really do hope it can helps hundreds of boys and girls who daily fight against the same sense of helplessness and isolation. You are very cute and sensitive, and I’m so happy you’re over all this. Everyone must accept themselves for what they are. And you are perfect just as you are.
Taylor, thank you for the honesty and bravery that you showed in this blog and also back then for not following through with those thoughts. You have a lot to give and you've already given a lot. Thanks again my brother. Peace,T..🤘
Thank you for sharing your story. Almost touched me deeply as it resonated with what I was feeling and gong through almost 30 years ago. I'm glad that the youths of today have the ability to see
you and know that they are not alone. Thank you.
same here rai, only make that 50 years ago...
A really intelligent, kind soul, a gift who is helping others.
Nice job sharing your heart. I have spent my entire life trying to figure it all out. It still hurts. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing. A very brave and honest video. I'm glad I saw it, and I'm sure that it will be a great help to many others who do.
Glad you are still here! You are loved and one great guy! Keep going!
Here is a big thumbs up for what you've said on this page. Thank God there were people like you around during my divorce. I needed people who could talk me away from the edge and certain disaster. My divorce was essentially about my betraying one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. I betrayed her with another guy and I am still not sure why this happen.
Thanks for being able to share your story mate. Much appreciated. D.
I am glad you were in a good place to share this story with us. Very Brave. Thanks
You are an inspiration.
You're so brave, nice and lucky guy! Glad to hear everything gone well, thanks for sharing your great story, for sharing these AWESOME videos! I would love to have a friend like you! Take care Taylor.God bless You and people you love!
Wise way beyond your youthful looks - thank you beautiful man.
Very good story, Taylor. Enjoyed your comments. I was a teen way back in the 1950s. We went through unholy Hell back then. Gays back then could be beaten up, humiliated, tortured and killed.
Plus, many were sent to prison where they were further brutalized, raped, and etc. There was no "coming out" per se in the deep south at that time. We lived very frustrating lives of denial, pretense, and fear. It was awful! Thank goodness things have changed drastically for the better. One local high school principal had a gay porn magazine sent to his school. The package somehow got ripped open. People in the office saw it and called the police. That poor man was fired, humiliated on public TV, and had to go to court. His life and career were viciously destroyed. It makes me angry even now just thinking about what he had to endure.
Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate that this video is over a year old now, so the chances of you seeing this comment are pretty slim. I know where you are coming from with the thoughts and feelings. Every now and again I find they resurface at times of great stress. Just trying to find better ways of dealing with things. I too have a tattoo relating to past, present and future. To others it doesn't really mean anything when they see it, but I know the true meaning. x
I gotta say, you're incredibly well-spoken. Great video. A very important video.
So for me, it was middle school, high school, and college that scared me, and I came out sometime around the end of law school, because I was even scared there. My tattoo just says HOPE and it is on my right forearm and it faces the person I am talking to if I cross my arms. It is an instruction to myself to look forward with hope. I share the tattoo with everyone who sees me, and for some guys, just that one word has led to difficult conversations with me about their lack of hope. Be a beacon of love just the way you are.
Excellent sharing. You brought tears to my eyes reminding me of where I’ve been and where I now am!
I feel you, it's happening to me now for few months now. but yes, its so so much easier to take the easy way out. I don't see hope. But, keep telling myself, it's ok, it's ok.
It's haunting how closely this echoes what's going on with me. Every day I hold this secret in, I feel like I die a little more inside. I'm not sure what to do.
Thanks for your sincerity ... a real example. Thanks.
Hi Taylor, just discovered your video. You are a beautiful soul. I can so relate to your story. I have hated myself for many years for having feelings for guys. I have been in some dark places and still today am struggling to accept that I am gay. I have been through many counselling sessions and hope that one day soon I will finally accept that I am gay and proud of it. Your video gives me hope for the future. Thank you....Ben from Australia.
Your a beautiful guy. Your so cute. I'm so happy that you finally accepted your self. We would have lost a great guy. Stay strong !!!
Amazingly brave thanks for sharing Taylor Robbins , I'm at This point in my life excepting me for me and doing good so far, but we all have are days some good some bad.
Thanks for sharing and very proud of you!! If you don't love yourself then no one can love you.
Thanks for posting this, everyone feels alone as a teenager, especially if you’re a gay teenager. You have emerged as a normal well adjusted being. I wish you well for your future.
Taylor, well-done!
Oh wow, that message of self acceptance really got to me as disabled gay man.. Thank you.
Your struggles were as real and as difficult as anyone elses. Congrats for sharing :)
Yes- that has always been the problem - how society 'counts on this' to bring hate and despair into anyone confronting their 'homosexuality'. Like you said - you felt obligated to 'fight your feelings' to the point you thought your life was not worth living. I'm so glad you made it through! There is always help through Trevorproject and other LGBT organizations:
www.thetrevorproject.org/
im happy that I get to see this video, because boy the last three days i was ready to just leave this earth i literally gave up, but some how i stuck it out and im still here maybe it's the lord willing. please hit me up because i would really really appreciate it, well at least I can go to bed tonight because of your video thank you.
I run myself down all the time just like that all the time. I tell myself I’m nothing and no one wants someone like me. That hits so close to what I’m going through. It’s been worse lately and especially this year for some reason. Sometimes I come home from work and go straight to bed and ignore everything. I keep trying and I haven’t gave in but I’m afraid I might someday.
You are so blessed to have such a good friend!
Sincere and so open, thank you
to tell u the truth ur story is very much similar to mine, single mother, one big brother and one big sister. high school rumor about me being gay. i have suicidal thoughts too but because i was so chicken i just hope that i would get a very deadly disease that would kill me but everytime i thought of it i would immediately change my mind because i can't just leave my mother like that. i don't have the heart to see her devastated, it's not fair for her. I already come out to my friends some surprisingly very welcoming some a bit uncomfortable but i still hangout with all of them but i haven't come out to my mom yet cause the thought her going so many hardship for me only to know that i'm gay it's just not fair for her, i still don't have the guts to come out to her yet. big thumps up for the video, very touching and probably i will start a youtube video too for myself. you inspired me bro thanks
Taylor
My name is Eric from Oregon Iam greatful to you and most of all your courage to share your life.
Iam a disabled man and our past our. Simular my first gay experience was in 7th grade and like you I kept quite through high school hidibg who I was and I still do to this day somewhat.
Fast forward to 2001 I had my first Gay relationship and it went every bad it was very abusive and I had to get the help of friends to get out
I then got scared again to come out.
I made the mistake of getting married thinking like you it would go away it didn't I came out to my wife this was the hardest time in my life went through depression and daily panic attacks still do. We are still together because I can't live alone but she lets me be me I guess that's good but I don't feel fully free.
I was rasied to believe this was wrong and I come from a military family so say this has been hard I have attempted to cut myself and live with the scars
I want you to know you inspire me and you inspire the world maybe one day I can live my truth this August I turn 50 I know there still hope it's never too late.
Thank you for letting me share I look forward to your videos more like this would be cool just hearing you talk one on one and be encouraging has helped a ton
Here is my personal email eebbbarton@gmail.com if you want to reach out
You. Have a new friend in me
ERIC
Seaside Oregon💙
It is so awesome that you put yourself out there it go to show just how beautiful of a person you are inside and out you are ❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘😘😘 you've help a lot of people without a voice. Thank you for that. You give me hope for the future. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘