Midlife Crisis Answers : Learn 5 Midlife Crisis Secrets
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มิ.ย. 2018
- Midlife crisis teachings for a better life. Take the time to shift how you live to be both better and amazing. This is a time for transformation, not a crisis! Visit our website Midlife Crisis Help for more resources in helping you navigate midlife transformation.
Learn more about working with midlife crisis!
midlifecrisishelp.com/
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CASEY KOCHMER: / @caseykochmer
I'm 51 female and have just been through 5 years of hellish introspection but just now I am seeing the light and gems of wisdom are dropping into my life. You have to put in the work though to reap the gold.
Yes very very true!
I am 37. The last 6 months or so I've felt this inexplicable anger, occasional days when I've had inexplicable anxiety, felt like I am wasting my days and a new sense of urgency. I started a new job 5 months ago which is going well... despite enjoying my job and being better off than ever, with family, money, health - I've been so confused about why I feel unfulfilled. I talked about it with my wife, she is wise beyond her years and suggested I was hitting a midlife crisis (transformation). Eureka moment. I've found comfort in at least comprehending why I'm feeling the way I do. First step for me has been to learn about it through videos such as this. The other is to join a fitness club and get back into exercise. What I've learnt from this video is that it's going to be a gradual process and I should not force changes overnight.
Aloha Alfa Driver, nice nickname for a midlife crisis comment! You started your midlife crisis awakening at the same age as me, 37! Welcome! The beautiful thing about an early midlife transformation moment is you get more time to change. Consider this your first booster stage. Use this year to experiment and be strategic in your choices. You don't have to fix everything in life right now. Position yourself to be ready for the larger changes happening in the world. Embrace your passion for building or exploring something new. Then in 1 - 3 years, you flesh out your choices.
The significant point is this in 5 years: you will be ready for the 2nd booster stage of Midlife Crisis. You will be in a better place to use all that energy since the first booster stage got you 75 percent there.
Don't try to get 100% to the final destination on the first booster stage of midlife since you will have to evolve and change it up with the changing times.
Stage in touch will love to see where you take it all!
Here are some transformation tips for midlife or any crisis really
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/becoming-someone-and-transformation/
turning 40 in 2 months and i thought I was crazy. not sure if i was depressed, lazy or what... this was a great message for me today. still holding a heavy weight but this shed some light into my life.
Be persistent Edward! You are in a time of life, to make your own. The trick is in midlife to embrace what calls to you, and then you will discover your energy just pushes you. But finding that calling is harder than people realize, it's easier to fall into depression rather than to find that spark.
I have written hundreds of articles from many angles to help people at this point in life. You can say the entire Personal Tao site is there to inspire people to make this time amazing.
personaltao.com/teachings/
So you will find articles about tackling depression, helping a person move, meditation, shifting your job, improving a relationship and much more. Since it all rolls into this change point.
If you need help just let me know. Make this an exciting intersection point of your life. I went through this too and once you get these various concepts down, it just becomes a rocket ride and it all builds into a great life.
I really appreciate that. I will do my best.
:) Be patient with yourself!
@@eddie915 how did it go?
Mannnnnn did I Need this video
I have been going for a midlife transformation for almost 15 years
I totally lost way in life depression anxiety when I turned 50 I felt like the I totally loss of identity and purpose but deep yearning to change my life this video has been invaluable
I now accept that it may take many many more years but I need to just slow down and enjoy the process thank you so much
Awesome, be strong, and best wishes for your exploration of transformation!
I like that he calls it a mid life TRANSFORMATION it takes a lot of pressure off. I am just beginning mine .. turned 50 in Sept. I am ready.
Thanks Briget! I have been helping people transform for 20 years now. When looked at this angle, the extra energy and insights you gain from this moment of life can truly empower a person to do more in life.
I wasn't sure why I felt so off I wasn't sure if I was depressed or just feeling lost I'm 39 years old and thought I had life all figured out by now but all of a sudden it didn't make sense anymore your video has reassured me that I can get through this thank you.
Awesome MT. Take the time to explore your life on your terms. Once you begin to empower yourself, your depression and feeling lost will shift into deeper meaning and direction.
I'm 39, almost 40, and feel like all of the superficial stuff I used to like (fancy restaurants, trips, etc.) does not make me happy anymore. I am only interested in stockpiling money, buying a house (planned on doing it later since I live in NYC), maybe adopting kids or something....I wish I could still be happy off of the simple things, but all I feel is a biological clock ticking
@@istvanpraha I fully understand the feeling looking ahead and seeing less years ahead of me and more years behind me the simple things in life that used to bring joy just feel hollow now but I've started using it as motivation trying things I never thought I would pushing to live my dreams before the long sleep comes I quit a job that was draining my soul for the last 20 years and have taken steps to remove any lingering negative things from my life things seem a little better now ill check in a year from now if I remember and tell you how its been working for me until then I wish you the best
I can relate to all of you, Im happy now because Im not the only one who thinks about these things
@@Mike89369 how is it going now? I’m 39, 2-3 years in to this horrific phase.
I go through it very deeply
If you need extra help in your Midlife crisis then visit PersonalTao.com and arrange a free 30 min session
Thank you. You are an angel. God bless you more.
Thanks Virgie!
For more help and information you can visit our online midlife resources: personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/
You can even contact us directly for help when needed.
Blessings for your own path ahead!
It happens to all of us. I’m 50 yr Old male, and went through much of it in my 40s. The light at the end of the tunnel is as such.. at first the regrets set in. Later, you learn how to manage those feelings of regret and somehow come to an “acceptance” of “this is how things turned out, and it’s meant to be this way”... When things begin to turn around and really get better is when you transition out of the “acceptance” phase and into a phase of “embracement” - where you now have learned to truly “embrace” all that has been given to you or not given to you and you begin to find ways to live a life that uses and make the best of what circumstances were handled to you. I know it sounds cliche but moving into this phase has helped me tremendously. For me, it was being single at 40, never married, no children, etc. I eventually came to the mindset that I was going to wake up every day appreciating my time given to improve myself and make the best body - physically, emotionally and mentally for myself. I also found it helpful for me to volunteer at a senior living facility, and a homeless shelter. You’ll find it helps to take your mind off of your issues by helping others cope with theirs.
Thanks for sharing your experiences!
Casey!! This was one for me!!! Namaste!
Firmly in the 'in transformation' camp at 40. Lost my job, my marriage, pretty much my whole previous life, but starting to emerge as something new, something better and ultimately, someone whom is happy. You can't put a price on that. Underrated video that deserves more views.
Thanks, be patient in your transformation! Take the time to be be creative as you have a whole new life ahead of you with the energy to make changes truly happen.
Let others know about the video, the more we help people be in their power, the more we help the world become a better place!
Even my husband wants broken our marriage because his crisis…God helps me…!!
57 spot on.. ready to move next year back out of state after raising kids n grands ready TO RISK IT ALL 😊😅😂😂❤ i will be 58 december..next 7..lets go
Much strength and joy with your life!
Great video thanks for all the great info! Am 2 months away from 40 I’ve been going thru all this for 3 months now. I guess the sooner I except and understand the midlife TRANSFORMATION the better of I’ll be.
Thanks for the feedback. Be strong and take control of your transformation. In this decade of crazy, you are now in place to reshape yourself for the future.
If you ever need help Julie, myself and the personal tao web site are there to help and give more information and insights!
www.personaltao.com
4 yrs now in the procces with my wife, most of what u talk about proved to be true with high precission.
Hard, but the most interesting and challenging time in my life, where real growth may happen.
Bless u for your kindness and wisdom..
Much Love to you and your Family Georgios. We will explore 2021 with a stronger family and community baseline. Honored to have you in the Dragon community.
My husband is 54 and has been going through yes a crises. He struggles with depression and anger issues but since COVID it's all become more intense. Heaven Help us. Yes it's a process that cannot be rushed. Yes he is panicking I believe. Thanks for sharing.
Much patience for the process! It is all too easy to push away one's partner when they are going through amidlife crisis.
Here is the latest article I have written for midlife crisis
midlifecrisishelp.com/midlife-crisis-symptoms/
It is easy to push panic into fear and larger worse choices. Center yourself in nonjudgment and be present to listen but not push him.
I believe I am entering a midlife crisis, but I recognized something wasn't right and did some study, and thinking and have used it as a tool to motivate myself into getting back into what I love. It's going to take some work, and some Dr.'s trips but I will get back at it.
Much strength in your process. Use my site PersonalTao as a resource and follow your growth: for love is to be more in life.
Thanks 🙏 for sharing
Very insightful. THANK YOU
Thanks did you have any questions?
Love this video. Very very helpful thank you!
Aloha Stacy
I am glad this was helpful!
Here is our new site helping people work with midlife crisis
midlifecrisishelp.com/
Thank you
Best wishes for your exploration of Midlife Crisis and Transformation Dis Ko!
Thanks
I am glad this midlife crisis / midlife transformation video helped you. Be patient and strong in midlife change.
Hi Casey. Thank you so much for making this video. The message is loud and clear. It’s helping me take a new perspective on the direction I want my life to go in. I began to have doubts about my ideas, thoughts and my new career path (still working on new career). I started to think I should grow up and stop acting so childish. So again, thank you, thank you, thank you!!
I am so glad the video was of help for you!
Take the time to discover your essence:
personaltao.com/soul-spirit/discovering-essence/
Discover how to embrace the virtue of being true to yourself!
personaltao.com/taoism/de/
Worked from 15 to 44. Now unemployed and in what I can say in some kind of malaise. No interest in having a partner anymore. Younger friends not in the same boat and older people seem to be sad too. Want to travel and find a little spice again. Sunshine. Help costs money. Always money. Try and see that others are suffering too and just try to be kind and get out of London, the weather, the same environment. Don't need acceptance anymore. Just try to be gentle and kind. Ask questions and talk less.
Best wishes as you explore life more!
Well, my wife and I got together when she was 39/40. She is now 53 and has left me and our kids, moved out of state with her “friend” and filed for divorce. This whole time I’ve been thinking she’s having a midlife crisis, but maybe OUR relationship and OUR family was her crisis and who she is now is her true essence.
Yes it can happen this way. I have seen many variations on how it plays out. Be strong, work on taking care of yourself and family through the changes.
I am 38 yrs old, going through a dreadful midlife crisis just developed recently...Have a stable job, but seeing my ageing parents and still not married its damm difficult to bear the burden. What to do Sir ?
One day at a time slowly revising your life to fit better with your future. Marriage wont make your life better on its own. Dont rush into any marriage, be patient to find the person who compliments you in life.
The midlife crisis can be antagonizing wanting change but being forced to go slower to support oneself and others. I went through this also, and it took me a full 10 years from start to finish 37 to 47 to patiently work through the changes that allowed me to become free. Go too fast you make mistakes that create more problems, go too slow and you tear yourself apart. Everyone has a different pace/path due to their circumstances.
I loved this video.... thank you. Really helpful. I have liked and subscribed. .....
Thanks!
Damn! SO GOOD. So reassuring!
:) Thanks. Be strong and dedicated in the change you embrace.
really on point. I am going to midlife crisis that started last year. I just figure out it a couple a week ago. I will be 40 this august. I am married 3 beautiful kids. it started when I realized that I am getting older and my childest dream will not be fulfil if a follow the same path. I need to change a career. when I was young I was seeing myself as a person building companies (manufacturing). God is good during this of wander I discover new technologies that can help me to built my company. I am learning design, 3D printing and CNC and other CAD. I feel great but as a man I have to provide for my family. but I can go back to the same path. another big problem I am doing a PhD in japan but my heart my passion is somewhere else and I don't know how to explain to my professeur.I am really in very uncomfortable situation
@@yerbyb8331 Much strength, patience, and awareness for your midlife transformation ahead. Remember to pause when you feel stuck. Pausing to resync oneself and take in information to rebalance the path ahead, is an important tactic as you sort out your path ahead.
personaltao.com/blog/pausing/
A great video on this very exciting topic. I can absolutely follow and recognize things from my own midlife crises very well. Thank you so much for your video and best greetings from Berlin Germany.
You are very welcomed. Be strong, be open minded, don't be afraid of change and become the best Alexander you can be as you grow and transform over time.
How is everything going a month later Alexander?
Here is a reminder to embrace passion along the way:
personaltao.com/blog/embracing-passion/
@@CaseyKochmer Hey Casey, thanks for your message. I had to make some important decisions for myself personally. Meanwhile, I'm on the right track. The fog is slowly clearing. Ist was about time.
@@aleson482 I am glad to you are moving on the right track. Midlife crisis should be used to empower one's life. The choices can be hard as you shift life, but use the extra energy to make wise choices and move your options to improve life.
Here is a newer article I wrote
personaltao.com/changing-world/midlife-crisis-society/
The important truth is society is also going through its own midlife crisis. Don't let the bigger crisis around us deflect your true path ahead either!
Yes being able to empower ourselves helps ease depression. Lack of income causes stress and limits life opportunities and options.
Yes very much so
Midlife is also a time to redefine how one works and supports oneself.
Unemployed at Over 40 - Time to Redefine Work
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/unemployed/
The great resignation is a chance for people to reclaim their power at work also.
kindstep.com/
It is a moment where our culture is forcing people into midlife crisis and people are choosing to empower themselves rather than let big business disrepct them.
The Millennials are really making this a time for themselves and the Millennials are totally rocking midlife.
personaltao.com/blog/millennial-midlife-crisis/
My ex was going through a midlife crisis and was also involved with another woman.
Things had already gone downhill so I went for divorce.
For many this is the answer that needs to follow when midlfie crisis becomes midlife crazy. Sorry to hear you went through it all Brenda.
Any suggestions on resources for a 44 yo f who has already effed it up so bad i cant find a home or way to support myself
That is the problem of midlife, once you eff it up, it is hard to rebuild again. I work with my students to pace them through the process to avoid this as much as possible.
I don't have any resources I would recommend. You are back at square one with burned bridges. You have to be patient and rebuild life one step at a time. Find resources that allow you to reconnect to communities or work that can support the rebuilding.
Now I'm confused, how should I know if my husband is having a midlife crisis or is he a Narcissistic?. He left the family. He's 60 I'm 57 yr old. 25 yr marriage he left and now living with his mistress.
At 60, we are talking narcissist not midlife crisis
If you need additional resources you can go through our articles:
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/all-midlife-crisis-articles/
personaltao.com/relationships/relationship-balancing/
Best wishes!
i feel helplessness ,i am in 40 the midlife crisis
THis moment of change and needs shifting can creating for the hardest moments in a person's life. I you need help we are here to talk. You can become a member of our site and get access to many complete teaching videos right away
www.patreon.com/m/OneRiver
Here is a fast list of all the classes
personaltao.com/patron-library/
or you can contact us directly to get help
personaltao.com/about/contact/
You don't have to go thru change alone. With help crisis become transformation.
Do I let him be? How should I act around him because every conversation I have with him he gets annoyed and mad 😡 I don’t know what to do. He hurts me all the time is 30 years married I don’t know what to do
Aloha Joyce
Here are some articles I have wrote that will help you
Helping Husbands and Wives Through Crisis and Change
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/husband-in-crisis/
Midlife Marriage Crisis Support
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/marriage-support/
Midlife Relationships
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/midlife-relationships/
I offer an online class also
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/midlife-crisis-counseling/#midlife-class
I wish you strength and patience as you work through this challenge. You can ask questions or contact us directly from our web site from any of the above pages to set up a personal session if you need additional help beyond the dozens of articles and videos I provide.
What I do if he moved out?
See my reply on your other comments for additional article sand resources.
The first truth is this. Take some time to sort through your options and find everything you can do for getting stronger yourself first.
Put the energy you have been trying to pull him back, into yourself first. Otherwise you will less options ahead if you don't take care of yourself.
Here is an index of more midlife articles on our website
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/all-midlife-crisis-articles/
And a starting overview of midlife crisis
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/
How to contact you for guidance.
You can visit our website personaltao.com and contact us directly here: personaltao.com/about/contact/
My mid life started at 50
I hope your midlife experience was a good one Katherine. It can be hard when you get that kick to change up life and improve everything.
Here are many of the support articles I have written over time for helping people navigate midlife transformation
personaltao.com/midlife-crisis/all-midlife-crisis-articles/
I have also started a new website
midlifecrisishelp.com/
Specifically for midlife relationship work also.
Best wishes for you and life ahead!
sincerely
Casey
For some it IS a crisis and nothing else. I've seen it myself and things turned out for the worse for that individual and her family. During that time, she reverted to an angry teenager and to this day has not improved.
Having worked with thousands of people over 20 years, I can say yes, for some souls they push the crisis and live to that crisis.
However, I know from hard work, for many people, you can help them turn the crisis into a learning experience and shift it out of crisis into something better for everyone involved. Yet because it is possible doesn't make it easy.
Yes, some people do only focus on the worse of what midlife can bring up in life. Also, many people reject getting help, and it is truly harder to avoid crisis without help. This is especially true since modern society has reinforced the crisis path to be easier.
@@CaseyKochmer Good info! The woman I referenced is 7 years into it and refuses to get help. So the kids are really messed up because of her immoral actions. There are several things she has done and continues to do. Sad.
@@jimcole6423 often times in the more extreme cases there is abuse or trauma of some form that derails the growth process and kicks the person back into bad patterns. Sending much sympathy for your own path, don't let someone's else's challenge derail you from your own path. Peace to all your relations and your steps Jim
Atrophy 💀
Do not seek advice. Bad idea!
I warn all my midlife students, to avoid or be very careful of most advice, since, most people will give advice as if it were themselves in their situation and as a result advice is often the wrong advice for a midlifer.
When I work with a student, I customize the teaching and advice to their situation , their past, their future and so many other conflicting needs that are present. Every situation is unique despite the common patterns we see in midlife. It is a dance and no advice stays static, you have to grow with the process and change as the situation evolves.
Even worse many times a midlifer is in a situation where none of the options are good: which means even good advice often leads to problems, which you then have to tackle and grow against. It is hard process to navigate.
So yes, be careful of the advice you follow as there are all too many traps in the culture and midlife process to lead you down a worse situation.