I’ve seen that there’s apparently a lot of criticism and controversy about both self-diagnosis and about “looking autistic”. What most non-autistics don’t understand is that, it’s in the nature of autistic folks to hyper research, to be extremely thorough. We don’t like to cut corners or make assumptions in general, but particularly in researching a special interest, which is what our autism investigation quickly becomes. We won’t claim the label or seek a diagnosis until we’re actually intellectually certain, even if emotionally we feel uncomfortable or lack confidence. There’s no such thing as an Actual autistic person who diagnosed themselves off of one Tic-Tok. But one Tic-Tok (or video, or article…) might inspire an incredibly deep dive into the subject.
Yes , 5 years . And it makes easier but my problem is when I get paired up with people because I'm nice and I get whispers of they are autistic so be patient . I'm so happy they are kind and see me as kind but makes me questioning how they see me . But then I realized that I'm the only one masking at work.
I learned, about 15nyears ago that I had a Aspergers, the they changed the terminology, so I use Autistic now. My wife has just realized that she is neurodivergent, and worries that she isn't worthy of the term. It truly affects people differently. You are a lovely person who is so gentle and accepting. I've learned a lot from you, and enjoy your content.
Taylor has been paramount in helping me begin to understand a few of the "why's" of my life. She was the first autistic content creator that I literally fell across over a year ago when I was watching a movie. I had never thought of ASD, yet for some reason a video of hers was sitting there as a TH-cam suggestion for me. I followed that video up after watching it twice, with a few more that she had, and I was floored that so much felt so right. Fast forward to now, and I've been diagnosed with ADHD, and today I had my 1st ASD assessment. Welcome home! 😊
My Dr diagnosed me with Aspergers *after* they changed it. THAT is messing with me. 1st you tell me both that bipolar disorder can take years to fully diagnose & that I have in the same appt & then (years later, no visits & records lost) you give me an "outdated" diagnosis? The (multipurpose) meds help & eep the anxiety of trying to find a new Dr, may keep me here as a patient, but nope can't fully trust those diagnoses. I'll just take this ND umbrella & accept a home with all under it regardless of their more specific labels.
I had so much trouble accepting support for my autism. I had my diagnosis for 6 months before I finally forced myself to put in the application to get support that I SRSLY NEEDED! My kids had had the support for a couple of years and it took a supporter of them to ask me was I getting support.
Self diagnosed here. Unable to seed medical dx. After years of research, some friends sent me the RAADS and such. I took 3 tests I think, and got in the high 90th percentile on each of them. I was kinda shocked tbh. And now I'm working on becoming comfortable using the label ❤
I have never been officially diagnosed I've had several people in my family that have autism in their side of the family that spent time around me and told me that I have asd but I have never admitted it it took me almost 20 years to say that I have asd
This seems crazy but I’m crying. I’m 40. I was diagnosed adhd but knew it was more. My parents couldn’t face it or understand. I’m smart enough to get thru high school and most of college masking. But it caught up with me.
I’m diagnosed as of last year at age 34 (knew for about a year before the official dx-I knew I wanted the paperwork/documentation as proof when discussing support needs/issues/shutdowns with family and friends bc I mask really well, live independently, have a full time job, always got good grades, hyper verbal, etc all the “so high functioning there’s no way your autistic”) and there’s still so many moments of realizing that a thing I’ve spent my life guilting myself over/struggling with/feeling like a failure has all this time actually been a thing my brain is wired to do/be and it’s not my fault. Sometimes it’s happy/relieved tears bc like wow, I’m not a failure of a human being. Sometimes it is sad/angry tears that ____ will always be a struggle bc of brain wiring. The late diagnosis club is a teary place for sure 😅 Also all the discovering/realizing of how we process emotions and regulate is overwhelming when it feels like having to catch up for decades’ worth of processing. At least I’m finally learning the language to explain that when I’m frustrated/angry and I sometimes cry, it’s bc I’m too disregulated and not a manipulative tactic to end an argument/too stupid to keep myself together . Anyway, I hope this whole process is going well for you! It’s great and it also sucks but overall I believe a net positive 😊
Thank you! So incredibly much! I found myself here after 3 or 4 years of trying to get to the bottom of why my brain is different. Thought for years that my adhd was the issue but it is extremely clear to me it's not just the adhd. I scored really high on the evaluation that I took and will be giving the results to my Dr next week. I don't have an official diagnosis at the moment.
The problem with it is, I think, that it's very easy for someone who is self diagnosed to be blind to possible trauma and other factors in their lives and diagnoses themselves with autism, when it really is CPTSD or something like that. But explicitly in case of the CPTSD it is very difficult to get behind that dynamic when you are the one having it. So there is a big danger and possibility to label oneself as neurodivers when covered trauma is the course of the different process of experience in life. I was tiptoeing all my life, which could be a sign of autism. But I did this because my mother yelled at me and threw things at me, when I walked 'too loudly'.
Definitely still researching and still don’t want to use the term for that reason. I can relate to autism and adhd but I also feel my impulsiveness can cancel out some of the autism and vise versa. It’s just hard to say yes I am when I don’t have major “quirks” for lack of a better word, yet remembering as a child I thought something literally magical happened at midnight when I slept that cause my batteries to recharge. Gets even harder as I get older and over come more and more of the struggles I’ve had.
This is kind of how I feel. I brought up copy and paste behaviors to my family and they were like that’s normal. And I was like “or maybe you have autism too”.
I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I KNOW there’s more to it- possibly Autism, maybe something else, but due to childhood trauma I first have to process I can’t get diagnosed further rn. I also have diagnosed epilepsy and narcolepsy, so that makes it even harder to pin point the source of certain problems
Sorry to hear about your trauma. I hope you get to heal from it! I don't want to throw out things that might not fit. But it might be something to look into when you have processed your trauma 🙏 BPD is pretty common with autism and childhood trauma. (And Autism and ADHD are more common than not). Autistic/ADHD people (as we are extra sensitive) are more vulnerable to developing BPD. I've talked a lot about this with my therapist, and friends. It seems like at least a few of them, like myself, have the BPD/autism combination.
I did this took about 3 separate diagnostic tests through embrace autism and still feel like a imposter I brought my tests to a psychiatrist and he said if you scored that high your definitely at least a little autistic…he still didn’t diagnose me though😂
Too many mental health issues/combo of issues look the same. That's why saying you have X is dangerous. When you could actually have Y and Z. Nothing to stop you from implementing coping strategies but labels are powerful and worth being cautious with.
The problem is when people think they own words. No one owns words. If you're autistic you're autistic. There is no "label" and autism is a spectrum. Just because another may be at a different part on the spectrum does not diminish or negate you. Also - there is no taking away from people as there is no help in the US for autism. Most is based on the state and even county in which you live, and if youre ASD 1 or 2 most likely no help so not taking anything from anyone. I see non autistics try to make this insane argument and it is insane because it is not reality. Source: diagnosed ASD 1 having employment problems. No help.
No, it's not okay in my opinion. I know several people who say they are autistic just by feeling they are. Without any research done by them and without any diagnosis. The problem is in my community of friends etc, that the real diagnoses my sons have are not believed by my family and friends. One of my sons was even called a bad kid and I was a liar to say that he was diagnosed with autism.
I’m very sorry you and your sons are going through this. It’s incredibly hurtful to not be believed and supported. People who are actually autistic (or are parents seeking diagnoses for their children) are highly likely to do massive research into autism before deciding it’s the likely outcome. It’s generally in our neurological “nature” to take deep dives into special interests, and to want to be as factual as possible. As you probably have already encountered, getting an official diagnosis isn’t easy, so most of us were self-diagnosed first, then self-advocate to doctors, etc, trying to find someone who understands the full range of autistic presentation (including high-masking, articulate, empathetic, trained to make eye contact, etc) Self-diagnosis is never based on just a “feeling.” If the people you know truly haven’t researched, they don’t represent the self-diagnosed autistic community. It’s possible they might be ADHD, and noticed the autistic symptoms that are shared with ADHD, or maybe they feel like outcasts and are looking for a place to fit in…? I’m not defending them, just attempting to analyze- being autistic isn’t usually a club people want to join!
Sounds like the issue I've seen at work (hotel) with service dogs: so many pet dogs snuck in via an online bought service dog claim that my coworkers now tend to believe any dog not perfectly matching the posterpup must be fake. Yeah, they're well trained, but service dogs can slip up or need to burn energy sometimes too. Yes, the little yappy ones can provide a service too, maybe not THAT one in specific, but you can't judge by breed.
The misinformation is concerning. Labels do nothing but allow you to provide an excuse for why you won’t work on yourself. Stop using a word to excuse your behavior. Instead take some action and work towards finding ways to live a better life for yourself. Labels are just that labels. What solutions do they provide? None. Got off the intern
I’ve seen that there’s apparently a lot of criticism and controversy about both self-diagnosis and about “looking autistic”. What most non-autistics don’t understand is that, it’s in the nature of autistic folks to hyper research, to be extremely thorough. We don’t like to cut corners or make assumptions in general, but particularly in researching a special interest, which is what our autism investigation quickly becomes. We won’t claim the label or seek a diagnosis until we’re actually intellectually certain, even if emotionally we feel uncomfortable or lack confidence. There’s no such thing as an Actual autistic person who diagnosed themselves off of one Tic-Tok. But one Tic-Tok (or video, or article…) might inspire an incredibly deep dive into the subject.
sooooo well said, man.
Yes, this!
Yes , 5 years . And it makes easier but my problem is when I get paired up with people because I'm nice and I get whispers of they are autistic so be patient . I'm so happy they are kind and see me as kind but makes me questioning how they see me . But then I realized that I'm the only one masking at work.
I learned, about 15nyears ago that I had a
Aspergers, the they changed the terminology, so I use Autistic now. My wife has just realized that she is neurodivergent, and worries that she isn't worthy of the term. It truly affects people differently. You are a lovely person who is so gentle and accepting. I've learned a lot from you, and enjoy your content.
Taylor has been paramount in helping me begin to understand a few of the "why's" of my life. She was the first autistic content creator that I literally fell across over a year ago when I was watching a movie. I had never thought of ASD, yet for some reason a video of hers was sitting there as a TH-cam suggestion for me. I followed that video up after watching it twice, with a few more that she had, and I was floored that so much felt so right. Fast forward to now, and I've been diagnosed with ADHD, and today I had my 1st ASD assessment.
Welcome home! 😊
My Dr diagnosed me with Aspergers *after* they changed it. THAT is messing with me. 1st you tell me both that bipolar disorder can take years to fully diagnose & that I have in the same appt & then (years later, no visits & records lost) you give me an "outdated" diagnosis? The (multipurpose) meds help & eep the anxiety of trying to find a new Dr, may keep me here as a patient, but nope can't fully trust those diagnoses. I'll just take this ND umbrella & accept a home with all under it regardless of their more specific labels.
I had so much trouble accepting support for my autism. I had my diagnosis for 6 months before I finally forced myself to put in the application to get support that I SRSLY NEEDED! My kids had had the support for a couple of years and it took a supporter of them to ask me was I getting support.
Self diagnosed here. Unable to seed medical dx. After years of research, some friends sent me the RAADS and such. I took 3 tests I think, and got in the high 90th percentile on each of them.
I was kinda shocked tbh. And now I'm working on becoming comfortable using the label ❤
Yes! Years and years. Thank you so much.
Thank you for being so immensely helpful and open!
I have never been officially diagnosed I've had several people in my family that have autism in their side of the family that spent time around me and told me that I have asd but I have never admitted it it took me almost 20 years to say that I have asd
This seems crazy but I’m crying. I’m 40. I was diagnosed adhd but knew it was more. My parents couldn’t face it or understand. I’m smart enough to get thru high school and most of college masking. But it caught up with me.
I’m diagnosed as of last year at age 34 (knew for about a year before the official dx-I knew I wanted the paperwork/documentation as proof when discussing support needs/issues/shutdowns with family and friends bc I mask really well, live independently, have a full time job, always got good grades, hyper verbal, etc all the “so high functioning there’s no way your autistic”) and there’s still so many moments of realizing that a thing I’ve spent my life guilting myself over/struggling with/feeling like a failure has all this time actually been a thing my brain is wired to do/be and it’s not my fault. Sometimes it’s happy/relieved tears bc like wow, I’m not a failure of a human being. Sometimes it is sad/angry tears that ____ will always be a struggle bc of brain wiring. The late diagnosis club is a teary place for sure 😅
Also all the discovering/realizing of how we process emotions and regulate is overwhelming when it feels like having to catch up for decades’ worth of processing. At least I’m finally learning the language to explain that when I’m frustrated/angry and I sometimes cry, it’s bc I’m too disregulated and not a manipulative tactic to end an argument/too stupid to keep myself together .
Anyway, I hope this whole process is going well for you! It’s great and it also sucks but overall I believe a net positive 😊
Thank you so much. You’re so articulate. This all rings true for me. I’m
All about no more shame. It is ok.
Thank you! So incredibly much! I found myself here after 3 or 4 years of trying to get to the bottom of why my brain is different. Thought for years that my adhd was the issue but it is extremely clear to me it's not just the adhd. I scored really high on the evaluation that I took and will be giving the results to my Dr next week. I don't have an official diagnosis at the moment.
The problem with it is, I think, that it's very easy for someone who is self diagnosed to be blind to possible trauma and other factors in their lives and diagnoses themselves with autism, when it really is CPTSD or something like that. But explicitly in case of the CPTSD it is very difficult to get behind that dynamic when you are the one having it. So there is a big danger and possibility to label oneself as neurodivers when covered trauma is the course of the different process of experience in life.
I was tiptoeing all my life, which could be a sign of autism. But I did this because my mother yelled at me and threw things at me, when I walked 'too loudly'.
Definitely still researching and still don’t want to use the term for that reason. I can relate to autism and adhd but I also feel my impulsiveness can cancel out some of the autism and vise versa. It’s just hard to say yes I am when I don’t have major “quirks” for lack of a better word, yet remembering as a child I thought something literally magical happened at midnight when I slept that cause my batteries to recharge. Gets even harder as I get older and over come more and more of the struggles I’ve had.
This is kind of how I feel. I brought up copy and paste behaviors to my family and they were like that’s normal. And I was like “or maybe you have autism too”.
I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I KNOW there’s more to it- possibly Autism, maybe something else, but due to childhood trauma I first have to process I can’t get diagnosed further rn.
I also have diagnosed epilepsy and narcolepsy, so that makes it even harder to pin point the source of certain problems
Sorry to hear about your trauma. I hope you get to heal from it!
I don't want to throw out things that might not fit. But it might be something to look into when you have processed your trauma 🙏
BPD is pretty common with autism and childhood trauma.
(And Autism and ADHD are more common than not).
Autistic/ADHD people (as we are extra sensitive) are more vulnerable to developing BPD. I've talked a lot about this with my therapist, and friends. It seems like at least a few of them, like myself, have the BPD/autism combination.
Finding the word was like a literal slap in the face.
I did this took about 3 separate diagnostic tests through embrace autism and still feel like a imposter I brought my tests to a psychiatrist and he said if you scored that high your definitely at least a little autistic…he still didn’t diagnose me though😂
The last test that I took on that website concluded that I had a 100% probability of being autistic! I cannot argue with that one.
lol same@@faeriesmak
If you scored “that high”, you’re not “a little autistic”!! 😅😂
@@lisa_wistfulone7957 🤣I’m just repeating what he said 😂 but I agree
Too many mental health issues/combo of issues look the same. That's why saying you have X is dangerous. When you could actually have Y and Z.
Nothing to stop you from implementing coping strategies but labels are powerful and worth being cautious with.
I think this world could use a whole lot less “in your neighbor’s business,” and a whole lot more consideration.
Wise words!
The problem is when people think they own words. No one owns words. If you're autistic you're autistic. There is no "label" and autism is a spectrum. Just because another may be at a different part on the spectrum does not diminish or negate you. Also - there is no taking away from people as there is no help in the US for autism. Most is based on the state and even county in which you live, and if youre ASD 1 or 2 most likely no help so not taking anything from anyone. I see non autistics try to make this insane argument and it is insane because it is not reality. Source: diagnosed ASD 1 having employment problems. No help.
No, it's not okay in my opinion. I know several people who say they are autistic just by feeling they are. Without any research done by them and without any diagnosis. The problem is in my community of friends etc, that the real diagnoses my sons have are not believed by my family and friends. One of my sons was even called a bad kid and I was a liar to say that he was diagnosed with autism.
I’m very sorry you and your sons are going through this. It’s incredibly hurtful to not be believed and supported.
People who are actually autistic (or are parents seeking diagnoses for their children) are highly likely to do massive research into autism before deciding it’s the likely outcome. It’s generally in our neurological “nature” to take deep dives into special interests, and to want to be as factual as possible. As you probably have already encountered, getting an official diagnosis isn’t easy, so most of us were self-diagnosed first, then self-advocate to doctors, etc, trying to find someone who understands the full range of autistic presentation (including high-masking, articulate, empathetic, trained to make eye contact, etc)
Self-diagnosis is never based on just a “feeling.” If the people you know truly haven’t researched, they don’t represent the self-diagnosed autistic community. It’s possible they might be ADHD, and noticed the autistic symptoms that are shared with ADHD, or maybe they feel like outcasts and are looking for a place to fit in…? I’m not defending them, just attempting to analyze- being autistic isn’t usually a club people want to join!
Sounds like the issue I've seen at work (hotel) with service dogs: so many pet dogs snuck in via an online bought service dog claim that my coworkers now tend to believe any dog not perfectly matching the posterpup must be fake. Yeah, they're well trained, but service dogs can slip up or need to burn energy sometimes too. Yes, the little yappy ones can provide a service too, maybe not THAT one in specific, but you can't judge by breed.
The misinformation is concerning. Labels do nothing but allow you to provide an excuse for why you won’t work on yourself. Stop using a word to excuse your behavior. Instead take some action and work towards finding ways to live a better life for yourself. Labels are just that labels. What solutions do they provide? None. Got off the intern