How P*rn and Insta Models Screw Up Your Attraction
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ธ.ค. 2023
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In a culture that either demonizes men or excuses them, we need men to know that God has a mission for them to pursue. To lead and love well.
Join me as I work through the challenges, and joys of what it means to be a man. This is a place for men to be strengthened on their mission to lead and love.
I despise when my non-Christian friend judges women by a scale, esp those I'm attracted to. I really don't care for his approval when I'm attracted to a certain woman.
Well said
Likewise, brother.
There’s nothing wrong with his opinion of women and there is nothing wrong with yours
@@fabionpettigrew195 You don't understand. Yes there is, because he's objectiving them.
@@stickman2012 that’s what men do if he’s talking about women like that just tell him you don’t want to be apart of that conversation he’s not doing anything terrible
One thing I feel the modern mindset of attraction horrifically misses is attraction to habits or tendencies or activities. A woman who is nurturing and affectionate toward children likely does not realize just how attractive a trait that is; it demonstrates that she would be all the more affectionate and nurturing toward children of her own. A young woman I once knew would widen her eyes in excitement when discussing Scripture and would do this little wringing motion with her hands all the while, and it was attractive because it demonstrated that she was passionate about Scripture.
That’s something I’ve never even considered, and you’re absolutely right!! I wonder what sort of habits I’m attracted to now. 🤔
There is attraction and then there is sexual attraction.
I'm passionate about video games but unless the girl is a gamer too it wouldn't matter. It doesn't matter though since im not a virgin and I cant be with a non-virgin.
Sure passionate about the bible is good but not everyone has that. We know its a good book and we should definitely read it but "passionate" isn't something I'd personally connect with it.
As a woman who looks average, those "Margo Robbie is mid" posts are hard to see. When I get married I want to be attractive to my husband, but if Margo Robbie (who i see as exceptionally physically beautiful) is considered mid by so many men it makes me think that I never have a chance.
As a woman, same here! I was shocked by how someone as gorgeous as Margot is considered mid to some men. But remember those guys don’t account for all guys.
Pray about your future husband to God, and that he will prepare both of you when the timing is right. God bless
Don't think you'll never have a chance. For me and other men that aren't negatively affected by porn or other nude/half nude social media or aren't affected by it anymore, many women are attractive. Of course you don't REALLY know the character of most women that you see everyday, butI can say that I am physically attracted to pretty much at least one women I see somewhere a day. As other comments have already pointed out, behavior of the women is also a big part of attraction. If they talk nicely, smile a lot, handle children nicely, etc. It could even be as small as a small cute look she gives you in the supermarket that makes you notice her and makes you physically attracted to her. Her standing on the physically attractive scale from one to ten doesn't even really matter if she shows behavior like this, as long as she looks healthy (basically neither underweight or overweight, slightly below average or above face with no VERY strange features like a huge, and I actually mean huge, not just big, nose or something that looks really weird or unhealthy). What I am trying to say is that more or less every women with a healthy weight and otherwise healthy/normal features will be physically attractive if she acts the part. Of course there are certain features that can improve this, like hair longer than the shoulders, good physical features in face and body etc. but these things get more and more into niche and preference of certain men, the more detailed they are, although the above are generally true. Please excuse the extremely long answer, but I wanted to be clear that the vast majority of women can be physically attractive to the vast majority of men and it will probably not be an issue if the personalities fit. Men calling women like Margot Robbie mid most likely project their own insecurity or she really isn't their type, in which case it might actually be true for them. Have a nice Day!
I think a lot of people say that because she was marketed as the hottest thing ever. When wolf of wallstreet came out everyone raved about her. So now that she's 10 years older, people are rudely casting her aside. They do this all the time with famous people. It's horrible.
When someone is unattainable, they are judged more harshly. So don't compare yourself with celebrities. I'm sure every woman in this thread is beautiful and will remain beautiful to their husbands. Believe me. As long as your man loves the Lord first, you've got nothing to worry about.
I for one am getting married in March, and I know I'll always be attracted to my wife no matter what happens to her physically.
She's not, its called "negging" its the practice of "humbling" attractive women by telling them they are not that attractive to make women feel like they have to work harder for male attention and to stop attractive women from having standards themselves and be open to dating basics and losers... The world is full of men women don't want and this is their response, mind games and gaslighting...
@@tealmountaintrekking6141 congrats man
You can change what you are attracted to, if physical attraction matters more than her heart for God check yourself. Looks fade but a woman who fears the Lord is worth more than rubies.
@SandyMacfarlane-ou6rn no it's not if it's equal in importance than it would keep marriages together.
@@CarlosC77if there's no initial attraction there won't even be a marriage to begin with.
@@Zayindjejfj pornography has ruined our ideas of what is attractive to us.
@SandyMacfarlane-ou6rn exactly, this way of thinking is why so many christian men end up looking at porn, lol, they pick women they are not physically attracted to and spend the rest of their lives trying to pray up a boner for her... Its the same with christian women, people have created an unrealistic standard that is not in line with basic science, logic and nature...
@@CarlosC77 porn reflects what people want, unfortunately many people are not in line to get it in real life and its not enough of it to go around...
Attraction is about the entire package: physical, spiritual, and emotional. Dating apps only really allow you to gauge the first aspect.
People don’t only just have unrealistic expectations- they have *exotic* expectations. A 100% Caucasian, looking woman like Margot Robbie is always going to be considered “mid” by the Instagram and porn addled minds of modern men no matter how beautiful.
Why?Is there not white women in porn? (I’ve never watched porn) genuine question.
@@mikw2026 There are, but the “look” now is big lips, tan skin, big butt, almond eyes. Margot Robbie is by and large, just a natural white woman. So she’s viewed as basic because extremes and caricatures have become the norm.
thats ridiculous.
@@r.walker7986 Well yeah, but it’s still true amongst the sort of men who comment things like “she’s mid honestly.”
I have several things I want to say:
1. This video came out just a few days after I relapsed into looking at pictures of this one Korean Instagram lady with a big booty. God *must* have influenced the timing here. Thank you, God!
2. A good friend of mine once told me that if you want to date someone who’s a 10/10, you should probably be a 10/10 yourself. Self improvement is valuable here.
3. Thankfully, God actually hasn’t let me have the problem addressed in this video (at least not very bad). Whenever I lapse into looking at fake women online, I always go outside the next day and am astounded by how beautiful real life women are. The way I explain this is that fake women made by humans can never hope to compete with real women made by *God.* 3D girls ftw!
Man this literally showed up at the perfect time (as your videos always do). God rlly is using you brother. Keep up the great work
Ikr!
I think Margot Robbie is a beautiful woman physically (don’t know her character tho). And yes I agree, this is a consequence of widespread porn use and addiction smh 🤦🏾♂️
It sad!
I never really thought she was attractive. Just always seemed like she had to much makeup
I've seen this everywhere, how is it a result of watching too much corn?? I'd say it's the opposite, that people who find her attractive are the ones with distorted sexualities. When you watch too much corn, people who you normally wouldn't find attractive become attractive (to the lustful eye). Once I got off those websties, all the distortion went away, lost preferences for races.
@Battlefield1918 I think its because men these days see so many unrealistically beautiful women, that they think that Margot Robbie is average when she is not
Yeah she's really not a 7. Those bumbling morons don't have any idea how to rate women. Given the context of what I know about Margot, she's an 8.2.
I couldn't agree more than corn is negatively influencing how we look at real women. As an aside how is 7 bad or mid?? Most guys are lucky to marry a 7. 8,9,and 10s are literally either very attractive models or down to preference
I started watching porn tonight and after awhile, I got bored and shut it off and said, “Nah I don’t need that.” Also attraction is an absolute. There’s no in between.
Yes! People are allowed to have preferences, just as long as it's not the only standard.
Grateful for your content my friend
Powerful bro much needed
Just came across this.. John Paul II work the Theology of the Body is life-changing and we men are in desperate need of healing in the way we see our sisters. Good for you for addressing this! Praise God!
That thought about attraction being a binary vs. a scale is so simple, yet so insightful. I’m gonna use that from now on
I had a similar issue. There was a girl who I was into who didn't love Jesus as much as I knew I wanted and carried a lot of baggage from her background, but she was an absolute 100/100. Well, thankfully the Lord didn't let anything come from that relationship, but for the next several months I was struggling to really find women attractive, but for me it wasn't like I was looking at Instagram models or anything, this was a girl who I was friends with
Yeah, if your basing attraction on the internet, I can see how it can skew perspective. Whether I see a female online or not, I'm into the girl next door with natural assets. Do not like women who have surgically enhanced. I'm not that damn picky. Grew up in the 70s; cute sexy natural girls.
Hey man I don’t know if you’ll read this but could you please make a video on how to deal with a dysfunctional family as a Christian man? I’ve noticed how much modern culture has tried to destroy the family by any means necessary and as a young Christian man, who’s only 17, I want to make sure when I eventually have a family of my own (God-willing) that we can actually be close with each other and be Christ-centered. My parents aren’t divorced or abusive or anything but they come from dysfunctional households and I’ve seen some of that trickle down to my family. And I need Godly advice on how to stop that. I know Christ says we’re supposed to hate our families in comparison to Him (Luke 14:26). And that He came to bring a father against his son, and a mother against her daughter (Luke 12:51-53). But I also know we are told that if we don’t love our brother who we have seen, then how can we love God whom we have not seen (1 John 4:20). Please help brother 🙏🏻❤️
I am in a similar situation, and I am 31. It's great that you already recognize the dysfunction. Makes me think of being the generational curse breaker/black sheep of the family. My best advice is to continue to stay close to the LORD, and stand on the truth of his Word. I have seen in my own life even recently how sharp the truth of the Word really is. Some people you think are 'Christians' actually hate truth. By standing on the truth of the Word, you will be hated and make people uncomfortable. At the end of the day, eternity is the most important thing knowing we will stand before Jesus. God bless! ✝
Three likes and it’s only been three minutes 😂 and it’s an eight minute video! It must be really good then.
I can feel myself doing this, please pray that I will be able to run to the Lord and find rest and escape.
Good message, but i think there may need to be a follow up to distinguish this video and how to not look at a woman with lust. Feels like with how you said it its a very easy barrier to fall over
The Kevin De Bruyne reference is pure gold 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but that aside, yeah I mean I’ve had first hand experience of this happening to me and probably countless other young men, when you actually meet real women they are vastly different from what you see on the screen.
I wonder what "rating" those that grade others, rate themselves?
it does not matter, being a 2 does not mean that you will be attracted to 2's everyone ultimately wants a 10. Not enough to go around and most of them would not want you back so you end up with the best you can get that wants you back. Thats how it works...
with the popularity of ai generated images, itll be even worse than instagram models because guys can generate exactly what they want in terms of images or videos of women 😭
I completely agree with u, looks kind of matter to a certain extent for me as a guy. But funnily enough, I actually get more sexually turned on by women I meet in real life who are decent looking like maybe a 4 - 5/10 who are kind, friendly, loyal and who push me to become a more better person. I would say I would not be attracted to them physically when meeting them at first but I get really turned on when they have traits that I like. Does that mean I could be the 1% of guys or does that mean I am weird? (For some reason, 9-10/10 women don't really attract me at all?? I mean I would love it if the kind, friendly and loyal women had an 8-10/10 looks of course).
Way more common than you think - attraction can grow. You’re not weird at all.
And GO TOUCH SOME GRASS!
I remember my ex bf commenting about my body image because a lotnof these girls have breast implants and it was the worst feeling ever.
Love your content. I am muslim but I have so much respect for Christian men like you with such admirable qualities
I largely agree with the message of this video, however physical attraction isnt Binary, although it would certainly be easier if it was. You can find two people attractive but see one as more attractive than the other. Which is why the scale (as flawed as it is) gets used.
How can I come in touch with you? Via Mail?
I dont exactly know what "go touch the grass" means, but i'm thinking it means "go getting your hands dirty/get a career"?
It means get a life and start living in reality
"go touch grass" is used on people that likely have not gone outside and therefore have not touched grass
Its literally on every platform we use these days and women want to show themselves off tbh
"mid" meaning middle, as in "normal" looking? What is wrong with being normal looking?
I could find you at least 5 young women at my church who have faces just as pretty as hers.
I think that was the goal of the Barbie movie, to have Barbie and Ken played by more normal looking people, Ryan Gosling is not conventionally attractive at all.
No, mid is a means of "humbling" an attractive woman that is out of the man using the term's league who would not give them the time of day, it;s a coping mechanism. LOL.
Trust me, nothing about me is attractive. Im a gamer, i like classic rock, i have tattoos and plan to get more (and christians hate those) and i try to read the bible but im a terrible representation of a believer. People annoy me and when they ask dumb questions its aggravating.
Im also not a virgin and a virgin is what I want in a wife whose petite, redhead and Irish, so my dream of marriage is dead. At nearly 33 years old its far too late.
Far to late at 33..? 😂 bro cmon
@@andrewevans7992 I'm not your bro. Good day.
@@BansheeKing22 enjoy your 💩 life then
I'm a 5 though. 😅
Help... I am only attracted to the same sex
Imagine if someone called Isaac "mid".
The internet is full of blind folk.
Ok, but it is attractiveness actually binary 🤔 I mean, I can look at one women and be attracted to her but look at another and be more or less attracted to her. I don't think most men think women are just either attractive or not. And is attractiveness subjective or objective. You say look at ourselves to determine what kind of women is fair to pursue or not but who's to say I think I'm a 7 and she thinks I'm a three? And is weighing another person's attractiveness even biblical? I mean what matters more? The soul of a person or their physical appearance. Ima be honest, I just don't think the attractiveness of a person is on the top of God's list when he gives you a spouse. Is it even fair to say someone is ugly or not? Wouldn't God consider all of us beautiful in his eyes? And is the "ugliness" of people due to the fallen creation we arr in? Example: God didn't make us to be born without an arm but because of Satan and fallen creation some people are born without an arm even though that's not how God created us.
I firmly believe that objective attractiveness is a thing. A man or woman can be the most conventionally attractive person on earth, but not everyone is attracted to them. Beyoncé for example has been that person I use for this kind of thing because I know she’s very attractive, but never really been attracted to her.
Honestly couldn’t say that physical attraction is/isn’t biblical. In the case of God sending Samuel to anoint David, God told Samuel that He looks at the heart. This is a principle we can and should utilize when looking for a spouse.
Having said that I don’t know of any other verse of scripture that prohibits someone from factoring in physical attributes when seeking a spouse. Ones character seems to matter far more as far as scripture is concerned.
@oreox1000 Thanks for the insight, brother 🫡 that's more of the position I was leaning towards as well 💯
In a intimate/romantic relationship, your ability to be sexually aroused by a person is important for the relationship to be whole and complete. Some people can do it in the mud with a pig and some cannot. And saying people born with genetic anomalies are that way becasue of Satan is horrendous... We have to accept that we do not fully understand what God's reasoning is and stop creating devils and demons for all the stuff we don't understand... That's a lot to put on a person who is born with an underdeveloped body part... Sheesh!
I agree that pron is messing up men but calling Margo Robbie a 7 is not bad
YES - attraction is important, absolutely. But I feel like you’re giving a bit too much emphasis on someone’s looks than is necessary. I don’t disagree with your video at all, but at the same time it’s not all that accurate that most view someone as one or the other. Yes rating humans is cringe, but the black & white argument is just as cringe. Overall, attraction is important and necessary, but let’s remember our image in God when saying statements like “they’re ugly, I don’t want to look at their face” - you don’t have to be attracted to everyone, but they’re still human, not a monster. Our character matters to God a whole lot, therefore it should matter to us a whole lot AS WELL.
On earth, in adult, intimate/sexual relationships , certain things to be in place for them to work. Attraction is baseline. I mean in terms of friends and family, it does not matter but its difficult for men and women tom b e aroused by people they are not attracted to. Attraction was put in human beings for a reason....
@@r.walker7986 Again - I don’t disagree with that or his message. What I highlighted was I felt he was giving too much emphasis on looks in a more superficial way than I’d expected him to - almost too black and white, idk how to explain it ahahah. Attraction can grow, some people catch feelings later on, sometimes someone won’t be attracted to another, and that can change over time - I’ve experienced it, but I understand that this is not everyone or most, but it is common! I was also thrown off by the part where he said no one would want to look at an “ugly” face all their married years as if that “ugly” person can’t have love or be loved purely because of how they look, almost as if we’re losing the point of what marriage is ultimately for (unless the “ugly” person doesn’t take care of themselves or steward their natural appearance well - cause that’s important!) Never know what God can do lol. But, I don’t disagree with you.
@@nkosi1388 He's a man. men are visual, men need a certain amount of visual stimuli to become aroused to have sex so that is usually the base of attraction for men in regards to a romantic relationship.. Men usually won't even entertain a woman in a way where anything will grow if there is not an attraction, that's how you end up a friend with benefits... Ok looking enough for a late night roll in the hay but there is no desire for you to be immortalized in a wedding picture together. Its dirty work....
Ok, but, Margot Robbie is kinda mid tho. Ana De Armas is much more attractive and has a homie/wife and soft look and feel about her
I've seen the Margot Robbie post a while ago before I quit social media (instagram, snapchat). How is finding her mid a result of watching too much corn? Wouldn't it be the opposite, that people who find her attractive are the ones with distorted sexualities? (she looks like any other average soccer mom). When you watch too much corn, people who you normally wouldn't find attractive become attractive (to the lustful eye). Once I got off those websites, all the distortion went away, lost preferences for the races I thought I was attracted to. Aside from the Margot Robbie post, people can state opinions, superficial beauty is subjective in many cases. Another problem I'd like to point out in modern society is that people have seemingly lumped in superficial beauty as the only standard that determines whether someone is attractive or not. Someone can look like moderately attractive, but drinks, does drugs, parties, and fornicates and that'll make her a very unattractive person. Superficial beauty is temporary, but the modern culture has seemly looked past the beauty that really matters which is the beauty found in the way we profess our lives (are we Virtuous? people of God? people of good morals? people of family and community? are we people who lead a god pleasing and respectable life?), even within the faith of people who claim to be Christians don't take this into account. For anyone reading this, appreciate you for reading this far, God Bless!
yeah, the distortion can go both ways
The "mid" thing is not about porn, it's about basic dudes trying to "neg" attractive women and make them feel bad about themselves so their self esteem and self worth will drop and they will get desperate enough to give them a shot. They know that woman is beautiful. LOL. Porn is based on the characteristics, scenarios and whatever audience it is catering to likes, and wants the most... Its reflective of actual desire.
We all need to realize, whether its actresses, models, pop stars, celebrities, if you ever see photos of them without great makeup and lighting, they dont look the same. We build up beautiful women (& men) andxif you saw them at home depot in sweats 30 min after they crawled out of bed they don't look like you see on tv etc
@@Sheisthedevilyouknowwho-ft9we thats a given but thats not what these men are doing they are just intentionally trying to make beautiful women feel bad about themselves so they don't think they can do better.
That girl IS mid though she may have a relationship with God and have a good personality
I admit, I didn't watch all the way through out of frustration. Maybe it's a tertiary point to your main argument here, but please provide a passage of scripture that says you have to be physically attracted to your future spouse first. This is a hill I will die on unless proven wrong.
it would not matter if sex was off the table. But it's not for most who get married and its hard to get a penis to work when as man has o attraction to a female. Some men can do it with anything that has a vagina but some men have taste... Same with women.
Some men like me are Christians who fight against homosexual sin and want a wife. Not all situations fit the bill. I'm willing to marry a woman of character. Physical beauty is fleeting.
@@Dean-sm5rt thats easy when you are not attracted to women
I guess it's a double edged sword. To have attractions for the opposite sex is going to take a miracle from God. But to be able to say no to temptation in that regard is easy.
@@Dean-sm5rt Do you really think a loving God put you here and all the millions of other lgbtq people to be alone and miserable? If anything I have always felt that same sex love showed how transcendent humans and humanity is becasue it makes no sense for two people of the same sex to be attracted to each other and be able to love each other romantically. It shows how love has no boundaries. But religion's take on it is honestly more man trying to speak for God from the perspective of man and it often falls short in many areas for me./ God can't be that petty, vindictive and cruel and still be good... Once you decide God is good then all things he created become much more acceptable.
Yeah... No... That girl is a 5 based on the first pic which is most probably in natural lighting. Don't know who she is but that's about that. I don't watch p3rn Or have any other social media besides TH-cam, it's just honesty based upon life experience. Don't tell me you don't see prettier girl randomly on the streets walking by everyday. She can be 6-7 if her personality is attractive a. People don't understand 5 is the majority of population, to be 7-8-9 is being uncommonly beautiful and 10 is perfection which is impossible, POV from a realist world view.
Watch the video again
The thing I hate the most about posts like that is that they only put down women and their looks it’s so sexist. Jesus would not approve.
She is mid btw. True rating , 6 out of 10 possibly 7
here we go 😂
Females everywhere wear makeup, so why blame it on just the internet? And she is mid, we put her up against the universal standards of Jesus and Mary. The bible says Jesus was fairer than the sons of men, and he physically looked just like his mother. And when he comes back he will look better than he did before. Why do you think there are so many good looking people walking around?