Thank you, Kris. I have a feeling that G-d is about to expose the narcissists. We cannot do it alone. Spring 2025 is the start of the changes for the better with 7 years of testing and the defeat of the darkness in 2032.
@@sylviaanne2320 : Just one caveat - pick battles that actually matter. I tolerate minor things in order to help form relationships, but then I speak to important issues that are core to their perspectives and beliefs.
A great lesson the Lord taught me: Forgiveness doesn’t require reconciliation. There are people in my life whom I deeply love and want the best for, and I also no longer have a relationship with them.
The WORST thing pastors and leaders do is preach the lie that you MUST forgive AND reconcile with everyone. I felt so bad for far too long due to this, at best, misguided teaching for not deciding to reconcile with the toxic family I have. Demanded reconciliation is a lie from Satan.
Exactly. You can forgive from a distance. The pain and trauma is enough to deal with-- but nowhere does it ever state that you should be a willing punching bag for anyone, and no one SHOULD. In doing so, the narcissist is put on a pedestal they don't belong on-- NO ONE does-- and you can't fulfill your purpose for being on this earth if you try to "fix" the unfixable. Blessings to you. ❤
2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”
Amen. I used to have problems identifying the non-religious narc, but that verse above helped me figure out the religious one. Proverbs 22.24-25: Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. Sometimes they seem just like a humble, ordinary guy or gal, they'll even tell you that. They need to put out that image Also, the one about good company corrupting bad habits. Nothing kept me from making stupid mistakes, though. Darn.
This was ingrained in me my whole life by my abusive parents. To forgive & trust them and my narcissistic brother again and again. I don anymore I forgive and pray for his evil soul to heal
@@clairelaskey5592 your parents may have been taught the premise of forgive and forget; that only works for minor offenses and decent people; your parents may not have known about 2 Tim 3 which tells us to AVOID abusive people.
@@ladydelta8100 Enforce boundaries, where you can. Narcissist s are of the devil and follow the spirit of the father of lies. As it it is written, you shall know the tree by the fruit it produces.
Yes, trust should not be handed out like candy. Trust is to be earned, especially in these days. If you quietly observe, the Lord will reveal what is in their hearts. It's good to pray that as well.
Raised by narcissists...friends with them... coworkers with them...employed by them...go to school and church with them...life skills like this should be taught in school beginning in the earliest grades
I never thought I would have to learn, research, and understand so much on Narcissism…my experience with such a person made it necessary. After all that knowledge…I knew I needed a Spiritual aspect to my new found knowledge. That is where you came in Kris. I would still be in a very dark place….so Thank you. God Bless you.
Thats the craziest thing isnt it...the part where you never knew anything about narcississm then theres that moment you realise...feel...observe things that keep happening and your head hurts...you feel uncomfortable and can figure out whats going on till you find sites like this. Then it all makes sense and thst road to healing and deliverance from evil begins.
Same.. I thought I was crazy at times. I lost every friend,forgot who I was, stopped going to church. I wanted to die. Him discarding me was a good thing but I’m still trying to find myself and understand why I was discarded like garbage. It’s been a nightmare. Watching these videos gives me some peace
@@user-ETum9kj9ii1m11 I was gna say same exact thing lol. Been 20+ yrs for me...before youtube. Crazy how all the confusion and chaos, at the time, was hell, but now at 42 looking back, the knowledge I have and how close to God Ive become is a blessing. Im that much better of a person.
@@chelseakal-q2b ITS NOT YOU...that is what they do. Understanding that helps. It sux cause you almost cant not take it personal, but it isnt. Sad to say but were just a number to them. I think with all this, God wants us to know our value. Seems like hes pointing out that we dont value ourselves as much as he does.
The Narcissist in my life of 42 years decided she wanted to divorce me because I had a heart attack and then informed in front of me my heart was half dead, she filed for divorce me immediately the very next day and started moving out! Five weeks later I met with my Cardiologist and he was just about jumping in the room upon meeting me saying: I’m all well, my heart is now working great! She betrayed me in more ways than is appropriate too mention. I am now so very happy! I will not speak to her nor see her!
Heavenly Father give me your strength being a single mother is one of the most difficult job in the world. Not only do I have to raise my children on my own, but I also have to make all of the decisions for my sons and both have special needs. Please help me to be more patient with myself and with my kids. Lord I will lean on you to renew my soul each and every day. Lord I’m also struggling to support my sons. Every month is a struggle. Please help me to make wise decisions as a single mother. Guide me in all I do, and help me to always put your will first.
God bless your Precious Heart and Soul sweetheart you got this you're in the Heavenly father's favor he made you a mother now all you have to do is fulfill the title there's the title and then there's fulfilling the title and he sees you have the potential I could hear it through the words from your heart I believe in you and above all God loves you and believes in you❤🤗💞🙏💝👼🌻
I have so been there. Pray continually. He will help u. Ask him to meet your daily needs and he will I've raised 3 alone. 2 boys that had issues with sensory things. And a daughter that just well, common mother daughter stuff. Prayers for u. Hardest thing u will endure Many times I would just Google the topic whatever topic for struggle I was dealing with. And be able to read about other parents examples with the same issues. Which was very comforting and a godsend I wish u the very best dear one 💕🙏
Thank you so much for saying that forgiveness doesn't mean trust. I told this to someone recently: You can love someone and not like them, you can forgive someone and not trust them, you can heal from your scars and not give them the opportunity to do it again. Boundaries are important and you have the right to protect yourself from anyone. Everyone needs to feel empowered to say "no". Stand assured that you deserve to be treated like a human being and not be treated like garbage.
There are people that will use your Christian faith against you. They know you are told to turn the other cheek and therefore they will abuse you and when you try to pull away, get away, correct their behavior, or get angry they will tell you that aren't you a Christian? Aren't you supposed to forgive? It happened to me. And I've heard so many more stories of others it has also happened to. This is a big problem the church needs to address. It's even worse if the narcissist is a "Christian" because they have more scripture knowledge to be able to twist. Women often deal with this when they want to go through counseling or divorce their narc husband. The narc gets their pastor and church to turn against her and say that she is going against the will of God. It's deeply evil.
Remember: a person will call you selfish when they can no longer manipulate you. Stay close to Jesus and remember who you are IN HIM. The JOY of the Lord is our strength!
Oh yes Narcs abuse Bible verses since they twist them and take them out of context. Like if he’s being immature he will say God said “be like children”. God said to “forgive” (so he conveniently continues to abuse you, because you will always forgive!) Or “God said don’t judge and you won’t be judged”. Again, trying to use scriptures to their advantage. How convenient for a Narc. No, God wants us to use discernment. Or once I heard pastor say “Love doesn’t keep score”, meaning forgive and forget - that can also be a toxic advice!
@@darialo8740 I’ve had that happen with me. If you’re saying I’ll forgive you but never forget, then that person has not forgiven and you’re taking space in their brain. Narcissistic people will come against you if you tell them the truth. They can’t handle it. I don’t have those people in my life and learned not to trust them.
Forgiving does not nullify one's accountability to sin. When God forgave King David about Uriah and Bathsheba, He did not remove the consequences of David's sins and so their baby still died; meaning God Himself enforced healthy boundaries too, for David to realize the effects of his sin even after his repentance.
Yes, generally speaking, if there are no consequences the behavior will continue. God only disciplines his own children. I have to tell myself that a lot when sneaky rotten people get away with really bad stuff.
Yes David and Bethsheba's son was Solomon,,, we can all witness his life. There are CONSEQUENCES to sin, God forgives yes, BUTTTTT there can be consequences which will haunt us. and we have to work these consequences out through our life =a new faith,
@@erinplourde-bragg9557 yes repentance does NOT make all things new , Inner things become new outer things can often remain the same. This is why we need teachers to learn what God ahtes before we sin, David did not have a close friend, Look at how many pastors are falling today, This is due to their unrepentant sins.
I love that your videos aren’t ramblings and take forever to get to the points. Scripture based, straight forward. Thank you for your content it saves lives ❤
Forgiveness means not taking justice into our hands, but leaving room for God's justice. We certainly can take what others have done to us to God! Married to an NPD for 20 years and I did call out to my Heavenly Father for help! When me and my children were at a point that we could take care of ourselves the Lord quickly removed him from us and sent him hundreds of miles away. He filed for divorce and found another supply! My Heavenly Father set me free to marry again in the Lord if I choose to. 😊
@@007modmom You said this wonderfully: "Leave room for God's Justice!" Jesus did forgive but wasn't sure whether his heavenly Father would forgive. But he knew for sure that the blasphemy of the holy Spirit wouldn't find forgiveness and warned his disciples before judging with a measure that would turn back on their own heads. To seek the just Judgment and leave room for God's Justice is definitly the King's Way to Heaven and the heavenly Father's Throne. You made my day. 🍷😘
How do you know that God set you free to remarry? I struggle with this because my narcissistic ex-wife discarded me as well. The Bible is very clearly against remarriage. I hope that if a narcissist spouse discards us against our will then it is an exception but I'm afraid it could be adultery.
@@davidm4566 Read your Bible again and this time put on the plain glasses and take it word for word. The Bible is not against remarriage, but it's against remarriage under certain conditions. The real question is are you ready for remarriage? Or even marriage at all? Because Marriage is Sacred to God, and only Him can reveal to you His true purpose and design for marriage in your own life.
@@giftij My friend, you probably should take your own advice and read the Bible. It is *very* against remarriage. Only in certain circumstances I believe you can do it without it being adultery.
THIS is what I hope for pastors to preach abou5 when they talk of forgiveness/ they never mention healthy boundaries or the fact that allowing people to repeat bad behaviors is in furtherance of abuse. Thank you for this message
I suffered costly consequences with the rose-colored glasses I had on in my relationship with my nex. It nearly cost me my physical life. It did cost me 25 years of my precious life and everything for which I worked. I heard it put this way once, "If you permit it, you promote it." I permitted his lies, use, abuse, cheating, and thieving. I permitted, promoted, and participated in pure evil. At 64, I am paying dearly for it in picking up a gazillion tiny pieces of my shattered life, putting them back together one by one, and it has not been easy. The costs get higher as one gets older. Take it from one who is living it as we speak. Don't be me.
@terriefreeman9552 I'm just realizing what I've allowed after 40 years. All to keep the peace. It's overwhelming but I gotta move forward and do the right thing. I can relate to what you've been through. May God help you to get through this also.
Thank you so much for telling this story. It is very similar to my own. In the end, I forgave my son and gave him to God, called on the police to help me when he came home that last day, the details of which I will spare everyone, and after that there was been no contact. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I did what needed to be done. And to deal with any guilt or pain that came up for me afterwards, I said to myself many, many times, it is time to take the savior cape off. He is no longer a child and fully aware and choosing to do what he does. I am not responsible for advocating for my son or trying to save him from his mistakes because he is no longer a child, and in fact I was never responsible for saving him to begin with. God already did that. He died on the cross to save all of us. God is the savior, not I. My job was to love my son, provide for him, educate him, and teach him the ways of the Lord so that he would be prepared to live his life according to God's will for him and choose that path. I did those things. However, God does not force his will upon us. Free will is his gift to humanity. Each one of us must choose to surrender to God of our own free will. My son knows the difference between right and wrong and anything else is just an excuse to continue doing what he fully knows is wrong. He made his choice. I made mine. My heart is sad, but this is about my son's relationship with God. He needs to work that out with God and I trust that God will bring him the experiences he needs to go through in his life that will give him the discernment that he so desperately needs. Oh, yes, many have looked at me in disdain... how can you a Christian mother be so heartless to force your son into the streets? Are you really his mother? I actually heard people saying these words in judgment. And I could have said many things, he has done this or that, he does not want the help, etc, etc. But I said nothing in response. First of all because it's not true, second because I don't owe anyone an explanation, only God, and third, I see these people clearly as being used by Satan in an attempt to use the power of love I feel for my son to try and get me to react and suck us both back into this toxic chaotic vortex and take my focus away from God, to eradicate God's peace from my heart so that I feel alone and abandoned and forsaken. To sow doubt in my heart. That was the aim. To destroy my relationship with God. Well, no. I have seen God operate in my life in so many ways, especially when I didn't realize the danger I was in until much later on, that I know he is always there for me, whether I am aware of it or not. I never let go of his hand. I can love my son, I still do love my son. But that does not mean I am not going to allow my son to use and destroy my resources because that will enable him to continue his behavior. That doesn't help my son. It doesn't help me. It helps no one. Sometimes the best thing one can do is simply let go and trust God to handle the rest. It really helped a lot to hear your explanation in Biblical terms. Love and forgiveness and compassion and all those other Godly qualities does not mean that you don't hold people accountable for their actions. I called him out on it until the day he left and that's where I stand.
This is a revelation! I have struggled with a narcissistic mother and brother my whole life. It has only been in the past few weeks that I’ve been able to see their behavior as deluded and ridiculous. Once I did, all the pain from their bad treatment of me neutralized. The best part was I finally had self confidence, a positive inner voice, and a feeling of knowing myself and of self worth. It was a long journey but I know this was a gift from Jesus. Every new day is exciting as I explore this new energy and learn who I truly am-49 years in. My devotion is no longer to these toxic people but to my true brother, the Lord, who has always been and will always be there for me, loving me just as I am, something my family members could never do. I thank you, Kris, for this important and life saving work. You truly follow God’s plan for you, and it is helping innumerable people. God bless you!
Oh gosh. I called out the behaviour of the narcissist (wannabe boss) at work, and one week on, I am "let go" due to lack of funding. A blessing in disguise.
Lord, Please help me keep my sanity dealing with my evil narcissistic mother. I confronted her today.. called her out, why she can’t be a real Christian .. and her time is running out at 91. She hung up on me.. There is no reasoning with these demons, are able to be honest & transparent. Lord, take this albatross from my life and let me have some peace . I know demons are operating in her .. spiritually. It’s so oppressive.. Help me Lord!
I understand you. Mine is midt 70s. Turned the rest of my family against me and trying to ruin my business, all because I set a boundary and asked for a break. She never takes any kind of responsibility either. Plays the victim and leaves. We can not change them, only Jesus can. Ask him for help and leave it in His loving hands. May Gods peace be with you. 🙏🕊️
I get it mine is 76. I can’t do anything good because anything I do She twist the story then tells everyone how awful I treat her. She has my dad turned against me even though she keeps record of every thing he has said to her over the last 55 yrs. If I’m sick she tries to upset me and makes things worse. I have to go no contact I feel I have no choice.
Same blue skies, I’ve almost made it a year not dealing with my Mom. Love her but tired of the games that were destroying me. Finally gave it to God but some days I wake up and wish for a relationship. It sucks but it’s how it is. I chose sanity and peace in the end. I couldn’t do a good job as a mom and wife when my heart and mind were being sabatoged. I let her and others go.
Oh, thank you so much for this beautiful teaching. I am finally divorcing my narcissist after 42 years of marriage, when this year his actions were so abominable that I could not stay any longer. The grief at first was unbearable, but now I realize that I have been given a gift of freedom and peace. I certainly believed that it was my job to suffer and serve, to pray, to appease him so he wouldn’t be take his anger out on me and the kids, etc. I always thought I was doing the right thing to hold it together for everyone else, and believing that our staying together was the best thing for the whole family. If only I had known these concepts you are teaching 25 or 30 years ago, I would not have waited so long. Thank you for the clarity. Jesus, indeed would not have encouraged me in this so long. I thought I was trying to listen to him, but perhaps my habits and old ways of thinking were too ingrained and too loud.
Thank you. I personally did not need the information but this is really useful for others who don't realise their version of Jesus is blurred or out of focus. I for one do forgive but I don't trust again easily, and repeat offenders can forget that I will trust them again. "Be ye therefore as wise as serpents and as simple as doves" Mathew 10:16
Howdy. Nebuchadnezzar was a great example of that forgiveness and trust. Through Daniel's involvement with Neb, Neb slowly began to recognize the true God. ...BUT, In Daniel ch4, Nebuchadnezzar was so high-strung that he forgot YHWH. After his fall, it took 7yrs before HE restored him to his kingship, ending with Neb giving praise to YHWH. Notice also Joseph. When he's 2nd in command in Egypt, he tested his brothers to see if they've changed. He had already forgiven them in his heart, but was slow to trust them again. Beautiful point made. Thanks Shalom
This is so powerful. You have a priceless ministry who have not been taught these things by family or church. My life would have been more peaceful and joyous if I would have learned this sooner. Thank you.
Thank you Kris for your gracious and insightful thoughts on managing narcs biblically. I liked how you used glasses as an analogy to point out the difference between distorted and clear thinking in these situations!
Correct. People think that us forgiving people means to keep standing there and taking it like a punching bag....... We forgive because God requires us to forgive. However until the other person shows that they understand that they have hurt us....... it is not possible to have a relationship / any more interactions with them.
I tell people what I learned about unhealthy relationships. A couple of examples: Jesus told Judas "go and do what you're going to do," and I would've told Judas to stay so we could talk about it. The Good Samaritan put the money for the injured man and said he would pay whatever he owed for the man's needs when he returned. I would've cancelled my travel plans, taken the injured guy home and planned his future. You are so dead on and I hope people hear you and pray for wisdom and healing.
Kris, this is the most clear and concise explanation of the differences between loving, enabling, trusting and forgiving I have ever heard. Very well presented and truly inspired by the Spirit of God. Thank you so much for your ministry.
Excellent point. Don’t conflate forgiveness with trust. As the saying goes, “ You can forgive but don’t forget.” Their sin is not your problem. God gave you discernment. Use it.
Forgiveness is foregoing your right to eye for and eye justice. It has nothing to do with trust or restoration. You can and should forgive whenever possible because God said vengeance belongs to Him. But trust and restoration is earned by those who want it. If no effort is made to earn back your trust or restore the relationship, then there is no obligation to recipricate.
From every venue of public life, there are voices rising against the horrible impact of narcissism..Jefferson fisher, Rebecca Zung and the like have taken it to a new level on TH-cam, but there is SO MUCH that comes from knowing that Jesus said stuff like “Go tell that fox”…and the truths that Kris repeatedly draws out here…which we all need to hear…REPEATEDLY‼️thx Kris❣️
I see narcissism developing in my 16 year old nephew. A lot of his toxic and violent episodes are enabled. I see a lot of his behavior would change if his mother would discipline and correct him but I see she wants to babyfy him. I had to call the cops on him this past week when he was acting like he was trying to push her down the stairs. And would you know it, my family seem more upset with me than him. I told them they would have to continue with his toxic behavior if they dont put their foot down. The only thing they tell me, "Im not giving up on him." I told them getting him help is not giving up on him. Watching him getting worse and just not doing anything is giving up on him.
I imagine his parents see him as that little child and that little child is baffled by their rejection should they hold him to a standard that he is not used to. It does make a parent feel they are abandoning their child but when you finally "get it' you have no problem telling them to the face, "enough of that crap"! You need to learn to make a constructive life relying on how you are uniquely made. There are caring people not attached to your family to walk along side you to figure it out." Parents don't realize they will suck you dry and there will be nothing left to help them with anyways.
Thank you for this. This is exactly what I needed to hear as my divorce from my covert Narc wife is almost final. It was nothing short of emotional/ spiritual torture for 12 years trying to figure out why someone who "lays hands on people, speaks in tongues, acts like a prophet etc." could be so horrible behind closed doors. She used the bible and her seminary training as weapons against me. I WILL JOIN THE MOVEMENT against religious Female Narcs to expose them for what they are. They are nothing more than the ancient Jezebel Spirit at work within and outside of the church determined to destroy men of purpose and men of faith...............................
I needed to be corrected by what you said, and I felt convicted. I was reading the word today and God showed me that I don't need to cast my pearls to the swine anymore. Jesus also told His disciples to dust off their feet if they don't receive the love God has told you to speak of from Him. I think they just don't want to believe that God s really changing me and that I hate sin now. I only want to be obedient to God. The Lord told me He will use my trial to bring someone to The Lord, but in His timing. 🙏🙏
Thank you. I needed to hear this. I am the executor of a friends estate who has a 43 year old son that is a drug addict, and narcissist. Before she died, she asked me to help him, but I told her it would not be like she helped him. She allowed him to live with her, destroy her house, enabled his sin, and he abused her in multiple ways. He destroyed her home so she couldn't even live there the last few months of her life. I did attempt to help him find a place to go, but the next day he began calling me all sorts of names, and so I had to put up a boundary. He will probably end up in jail, however that may be the only way to actually help him.
This is very useful even for dealing with toxic people or manipulative or abusive people. Maybe more can benefit from the video if they can find it like those who doesnt know yet that they are dealing with a "narc" but knows that someone is toxic or manipulative or Who constantly disrespects healthy boundaries
This is 🎯. Thank you for this. This validates a decision my husband made in January that others and that person could not understand. We did our best to be patient, understanding, and respectful, creating a space for healthy communication. I always thought of Christ, especially when I was most stressed and frustrated, so that I did not sin my anger or abuse anyone. This person continued to dismiss our boundaries and rules blatantly and even daringly. We instated appropriate consequences with the promise of greater ones if challenged again, and they chose to provoke and invoke that promise, along with disrespecting verbally, resisting ownership of offenses. To this day, they blame shift, manipulate, and refuse accountability. They blame me, and I did nothing but follow through and keep them accountable. Same with my husband, but they blame me more because it's easier (I'm not a blood relative). I've decided to let it go but I refuse to allow them in my home or my life until they come correct. I am tired of people getting away with things like this and just expecting the world to be the same. I'm not the one.
When facing narcissistic behavior, we can look to the example of Jesus, who navigated difficult interactions with wisdom, grace, and strength. Jesus encountered individuals who were manipulative, self-centered, and even abusive in their words and actions. Yet, He always responded in ways that aligned with God’s truth and love, never compromising His values or mission.
Jeffery Richardson’s {Jeff_hightech}teachings may emphasize that just as Jesus set clear boundaries [IG] and spoke truth without fear, we, too, are called to handle narcissists with a balance of compassion and assertiveness.
The Spirit of Christ is announced by Christ himself to enter into the blood family lines of this world and split up the family members into friends and enemies of the Peace of the Christ. And whatever the Christ from Nazareth has spoken out, has not been spoken out in vain. The Spirit of God rocks hard.🍷🎃
11 or 12 years ago, I found Sam Vaknin on YT because I was dealing with getting a narcissist out of my head and out of my life. Now in 2024, I had to do it with another one, only this time I was much more efficient about it. In fact, without thinking about it, I found myself just listening and assessing for months, then sudden and total no contact. That made the narc immediately round up flying monkeys with slander, and launch the smear campaign (which I still just ignore). Listening to your channel has helped me immensely to stay resolute during the attempted retaliation. You're the most helpful and supportive channel on this subject - thank you!!!
This is a good truth. People don't like to confront because it makes life messy, but the truth comes out in the end and better to deal with it head on.
Great video I am married to a narcissist sociopath. I have forgiven him but I also set boundaries. We are informally separated. That works out better than divorce because it puts me in control of our finances. I lived with the crazy train for decades. He never thought I would become informally separated from him because neither of us believes in divorce except in rare cases. When I let him know that I was informally separated from him, man did he go into guilt and manipulation mode. He was even able to convince some of our mutual friends that he was the one in the right. He did commit adultery. He was also caught doing several things wrong. It is so clear that I am the victim. Narcissistic sociopaths are the masters of gaslighting.
so WHY are u still married to him? u HAVE biblical grounds for divorce, so do it! your life will NOT get better if u go back to him. been there done that, i got a divorce, my life is now 1000% better!!!
@@Lauren-vd4qe she said it puts her in control of finances. Maybe she will when the time Is right. Sometimes lawyer fees take money away from the kids needs also. She left him and that’s the point
They are flying monkeys masters, they always have the territory around them scoped out. The one in my past made friends with my family, he could smell vulnerability. I think he's going to fry some day.
Absolute GOLD Kris. You're doing such wonderful work. I've been through hell and back with narcissists and your videos and wisdom have helped bring me to Jesus. Thank you so, so much!
Very helpful information. I took a hard line when I was just 12 years old regarding my parent's behavior. I asked myself "how can I honor my father and my mother when they arent being God honoring?" I concluded that I can just honor God.
This was so helpful! Thank you. Churches usually only teach forgiveness but they leave out boundaries, and enabling. “Forgiveness does not mean trust and restoration “. Thank you for this clarification!!!!!! ❤❤
Thank you, I needed this video. I have forgiven her thousands of times with her ranting, but I was feeling guilty about not trusting her anymore. I had the exactly the same question on my mind. Thank you again!
“Respect is given, trust is earned.” You give respect because *you* are a respectful person. You trust someone because *they* by their actions have demonstrated their trustworthiness. In the first instance it’s about your character as a kind, compassionate, respectful person. But in the second instance it’s about the other person’s character. Their behavior tells you if they are trustworthy or not. Listen to the words, respond to the behavior. That’s what Jesus did. Only he did not have to listen to their words-he read hearts.
Jesus never gave up on me so i Will never give up on my family,we were not called to live a cosy life we were called to stand firm for our families and friends and bring them to Jesus Christ ❤
This just liberated me in a way that I cannot even express. After a lifetime of being raised by and closely intimate with malignant narcissists, I constantly self-blamed and stayed (physically and emotionally) much longer than I should have because of the distortions you mentioned. Thank you so much for making this video. It's life changing.
I remember hearing a while back that Jesus was no easy-going loving hippy. He was polite but not friendly. He gave status quo Jews hell like the Sanhedrin. I learned about righteous anger with regard to his getting pissed, overturning tables in the temple. That's a boundary those guys crossed with Jesus. Fear by subordinates is an integral part to variable extent of a leadership style.
The Christ Jesus was a Philosopher King, but only a few disciples got a chance to hear, learn and see more from his teachings about the Kingdom of his heavenly Father. With lots of fasting, suffering, praying and feasting. A Philosopher King for uneducated fisher-men, whores and custom officers. 🍷🎃
❤🥰🙏 Thanks Kris Reece, your articulation on this topic is so wonderful. May we have the grace to deal wisely with these set of people. You just can't stop having them around you.
Thank you for this. I am bombarded by narcissists. I am taking a hard line and people don't like it. You are helping me understand how to explain my behavior.
Yes. We're called to love and forgive; But that Doesn't mean, kids everyone's feet, then let them walk all over us !!! That's where boundaries come in!!! 💗🕊️💗
Your videos are so helpful. I encountered someone a year ago who almost broke me and when my eyes were opened, I realized I’d been surrounded by them starting with my mother. Needless to say, it’s always made me look inward and seek healing. Again, thank you. ❤
Jake sounds just like my late brother. My father enabled him until his ( Dad’s) last day. My mother didn’t interfere much because she had reason to believe that if dad had to choose, he’d go with his golden child the heroin addict, not his wife. It took me years to forgive my brother for all the chaos he spread around so generously and I prayed so hard and tried just as hard.I am glad I succeeded, so I could sit with him as he was dying and only feel love and compassion for him.
Such good counsel. I am totally dealing with this right now and your video popped up. Yes, forgiveness does not mean you have to be a doormat....you don't have to lose everything you are and have by trusting someone who has over and over lied, manipulated and used you. It is good to know Christ had some boundaries because He is our ultimate example.
Releasing all resentment and communicating boundaries for ourselves and others to move on is the true forgiveness/trust we can give in hard times with repeat offenders. Great message 🙏
FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
Wow, this really resonates! Great insights and these confirm something the Lord showed me 2 hours ago.
I didn't see the suggested video that you were pointing to at the end. 😅 I'll check out the channel!
LOVE is not tolerance. Love is ACTION.
Thank you, Kris. I have a feeling that G-d is about to expose the narcissists. We cannot do it alone. Spring 2025 is the start of the changes for the better with 7 years of testing and the defeat of the darkness in 2032.
@@sylviaanne2320 : Just one caveat - pick battles that actually matter. I tolerate minor things in order to help form relationships, but then I speak to important issues that are core to their perspectives and beliefs.
A great lesson the Lord taught me: Forgiveness doesn’t require reconciliation. There are people in my life whom I deeply love and want the best for, and I also no longer have a relationship with them.
Pray don't stay
Amen.
The WORST thing pastors and leaders do is preach the lie that you MUST forgive AND reconcile with everyone. I felt so bad for far too long due to this, at best, misguided teaching for not deciding to reconcile with the toxic family I have. Demanded reconciliation is a lie from Satan.
Amen. FORGIVE and let them go.
Exactly.
You can forgive from a distance. The pain and trauma is enough to deal with-- but nowhere does it ever state that you should be a willing punching bag for anyone, and no one SHOULD. In doing so, the narcissist is put on a pedestal they don't belong on-- NO ONE does-- and you can't fulfill your purpose for being on this earth if you try to "fix" the unfixable.
Blessings to you. ❤
2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”
AMEN this is exactly what the narcissistic spirit is
THATS the KEY verse for this WHOLE CHANNEL!!! especially the LAST sentence. useful in departing to enact a divorce from an evil spouse.
Amen. I used to have problems identifying the non-religious narc, but that verse above helped me figure out the religious one.
Proverbs 22.24-25:
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
Sometimes they seem just like a humble, ordinary guy or gal, they'll even tell you that. They need to put out that image
Also, the one about good company corrupting bad habits. Nothing kept me from making stupid mistakes, though. Darn.
This was ingrained in me my whole life by my abusive parents. To forgive & trust them and my narcissistic brother again and again. I don anymore I forgive and pray for his evil soul to heal
@@clairelaskey5592 your parents may have been taught the premise of forgive and forget; that only works for minor offenses and decent people; your parents may not have known about 2 Tim 3 which tells us to AVOID abusive people.
“I’m not struggling to forgive you, I’m struggling to trust you based upon your actions! Are you willing to regain my trust?”
@@ladydelta8100 nailed it
@@ladydelta8100 yes!!
@@ladydelta8100
Enforce boundaries, where you can.
Narcissist s are of the devil and follow the spirit of the father of lies.
As it it is written, you shall know the tree by the fruit it produces.
Yes, trust should not be handed out like candy. Trust is to be earned, especially in these days. If you quietly observe, the Lord will reveal what is in their hearts. It's good to pray that as well.
@@ladydelta8100 exactly!! 💯
"It's not love that we're promoting, it's sin that we're enabling." I need to make this my daily mantra.
Exactly!!!
Amazing!
Hit me in the gut.
This is why when you speak truth to a narcissist they rage. No matter how nice you are they rage when they hear something they don't like.
Yes like when I witness to the jews and christians,, They go nuts in rage
@@user-yo9pv1ni6t😂💥💥💥💯
@@LTNyota yes. My ex to a tea.
@@LTNyota unless the narcissist is on drugs before a visit. Like weed or Xanax, or he’s secretly recording so he’s pretending to be nice.
@@LTNyota indeed to eat a gram of wisdom or knowledge they blow or hide
Tolerance of evil and forgiveness are two different things that Christians often confuse.
@@0r14n583lt My People Perish for the lack of knowledge.
Raised by narcissists...friends with them... coworkers with them...employed by them...go to school and church with them...life skills like this should be taught in school beginning in the earliest grades
The life of us. 🙏🏼🕊️
What I've been saying ❤❤
The purpose of public education isn’t to teach life skills….besides it’s just as toxic as all the sources you mentioned above
Interesting. Clinical psychologists estimate that true narcissists make up about 6% of the population. Sounds like they’re all involved in your life.
I'm sorry but if all you see are narcissists everywhere it's very likely that you're projecting your own narcissism onto everyone else.
“It’s not LOVE we’re PROMOTING, it’s SIN we’re enabling” man that’ll preach. GOOD STUFF
The enabling stuff is even more evil ❤❤
Amen , I told someone before don't spend energy trying to enlighten people who want to be in the dark .
@@helenwashington6212 one thing I've run into is when the evil doers come to you asking for help or sympathy, but really they're just manipulating.
@@helenwashington6212 My gramps used to say don’t try to teach pigs to sing,.. it just annoys them..!!
@@BCDanno63 that's funny 🤣
Turn your back on evil and do good. Stop wasting your energy give it to those people that will appreciate it. No pearls before swine.
❤❤❤
thats the scripture I was trying to think of.. as she was speaking..
I never thought I would have to learn, research, and understand so much on Narcissism…my experience with such a person made it necessary. After all that knowledge…I knew I needed a Spiritual aspect to my new found knowledge. That is where you came in Kris. I would still be in a very dark place….so Thank you. God Bless you.
I'm sorry you've had to learn how such wickedness but glad to hear that your faith is holding firm!
Thats the craziest thing isnt it...the part where you never knew anything about narcississm then theres that moment you realise...feel...observe things that keep happening and your head hurts...you feel uncomfortable and can figure out whats going on till you find sites like this. Then it all makes sense and thst road to healing and deliverance from evil begins.
Same.. I thought I was crazy at times. I lost every friend,forgot who I was, stopped going to church. I wanted to die. Him discarding me was a good thing but I’m still trying to find myself and understand why I was discarded like garbage. It’s been a nightmare. Watching these videos gives me some peace
@@user-ETum9kj9ii1m11 I was gna say same exact thing lol. Been 20+ yrs for me...before youtube. Crazy how all the confusion and chaos, at the time, was hell, but now at 42 looking back, the knowledge I have and how close to God Ive become is a blessing. Im that much better of a person.
@@chelseakal-q2b ITS NOT YOU...that is what they do. Understanding that helps. It sux cause you almost cant not take it personal, but it isnt. Sad to say but were just a number to them. I think with all this, God wants us to know our value. Seems like hes pointing out that we dont value ourselves as much as he does.
Remember when times are hard, God is with you.
@@godandI-333 amem 😌
The Narcissist in my life of 42 years decided she wanted to divorce me because I had a heart attack and then informed in front of me my heart was half dead, she filed for divorce me immediately the very next day and started moving out! Five weeks later I met with my Cardiologist and he was just about jumping in the room upon meeting me saying: I’m all well, my heart is now working great! She betrayed me in more ways than is appropriate too mention. I am now so very happy! I will not speak to her nor see her!
@@OFallons sorry for the pain. But happy for you good health.
Noo very evil. It caused so much pain and stress for you. I’m sorry about.
You deserve better. We all do. When I hit menopause my partner of many years decided I wasn't worth his time any more.
@@wrenlittle8826 They are so evil. They’re are using us and it hurts so much. I guess it took some time to heal. I hope you’re doing better now.
She was making you sick! God healed you in more ways than one! Glory Hallelujah!
Heavenly Father give me your strength being a single mother is one of the most difficult job in the world. Not only do I have to raise my children on my own, but I also have to make all of the decisions for my sons and both have special needs. Please help me to be more patient with myself and with my kids. Lord I will lean on you to renew my soul each and every day. Lord I’m also struggling to support my sons. Every month is a struggle. Please help me to make wise decisions as a single mother. Guide me in all I do, and help me to always put your will first.
Standing with you in prayer and faith 🙏🏻
God bless your Precious Heart and Soul sweetheart you got this you're in the Heavenly father's favor he made you a mother now all you have to do is fulfill the title there's the title and then there's fulfilling the title and he sees you have the potential I could hear it through the words from your heart I believe in you and above all God loves you and believes in you❤🤗💞🙏💝👼🌻
@@ChildofGod98765 Where is their father?
Yes amen
I have so been there. Pray continually. He will help u. Ask him to meet your daily needs and he will
I've raised 3 alone. 2 boys that had issues with sensory things. And a daughter that just well, common mother daughter stuff.
Prayers for u. Hardest thing u will endure
Many times I would just Google the topic whatever topic for struggle I was dealing with. And be able to read about other parents examples with the same issues. Which was very comforting and a godsend
I wish u the very best dear one 💕🙏
Thank you so much for saying that forgiveness doesn't mean trust. I told this to someone recently: You can love someone and not like them, you can forgive someone and not trust them, you can heal from your scars and not give them the opportunity to do it again. Boundaries are important and you have the right to protect yourself from anyone. Everyone needs to feel empowered to say "no". Stand assured that you deserve to be treated like a human being and not be treated like garbage.
There are people that will use your Christian faith against you. They know you are told to turn the other cheek and therefore they will abuse you and when you try to pull away, get away, correct their behavior, or get angry they will tell you that aren't you a Christian? Aren't you supposed to forgive?
It happened to me. And I've heard so many more stories of others it has also happened to. This is a big problem the church needs to address. It's even worse if the narcissist is a "Christian" because they have more scripture knowledge to be able to twist.
Women often deal with this when they want to go through counseling or divorce their narc husband. The narc gets their pastor and church to turn against her and say that she is going against the will of God. It's deeply evil.
Remember: a person will call you selfish when they can no longer manipulate you. Stay close to Jesus and remember who you are IN HIM. The JOY of the Lord is our strength!
@@sallyjane8274 that happened in John MacArthur’s church , so sad and wrong
Oh yes Narcs abuse Bible verses since they twist them and take them out of context. Like if he’s being immature he will say God said “be like children”. God said to “forgive” (so he conveniently continues to abuse you, because you will always forgive!) Or “God said don’t judge and you won’t be judged”. Again, trying to use scriptures to their advantage. How convenient for a Narc. No, God wants us to use discernment. Or once I heard pastor say “Love doesn’t keep score”, meaning forgive and forget - that can also be a toxic advice!
@@darialo8740 I’ve had that happen with me. If you’re saying I’ll forgive you but never forget, then that person has not forgiven and you’re taking space in their brain. Narcissistic people will come against you if you tell them the truth. They can’t handle it. I don’t have those people in my life and learned not to trust them.
He told his friends, "oh, she'll never divorce me. She's Catholic." When he hit our daughter, it was over.
Forgiving does not nullify one's accountability to sin. When God forgave King David about Uriah and Bathsheba, He did not remove the consequences of David's sins and so their baby still died; meaning God Himself enforced healthy boundaries too, for David to realize the effects of his sin even after his repentance.
Yes, generally speaking, if there are no consequences the behavior will continue. God only disciplines his own children. I have to tell myself that a lot when sneaky rotten people get away with really bad stuff.
Yes David and Bethsheba's son was Solomon,,, we can all witness his life. There are CONSEQUENCES to sin, God forgives yes, BUTTTTT there can be consequences which will haunt us. and we have to work these consequences out through our life =a new faith,
He was repentant, but his child still died.
@@erinplourde-bragg9557 yes repentance does NOT make all things new , Inner things become new outer things can often remain the same. This is why we need teachers to learn what God ahtes before we sin, David did not have a close friend, Look at how many pastors are falling today, This is due to their unrepentant sins.
I love that your videos aren’t ramblings and take forever to get to the points. Scripture based, straight forward. Thank you for your content it saves lives ❤
Forgiveness means not taking justice into our hands, but leaving room for God's justice. We certainly can take what others have done to us to God! Married to an NPD for 20 years and I did call out to my Heavenly Father for help! When me and my children were at a point that we could take care of ourselves the Lord quickly removed him from us and sent him hundreds of miles away. He filed for divorce and found another supply! My Heavenly Father set me free to marry again in the Lord if I choose to. 😊
@@007modmom You said this wonderfully: "Leave room for God's Justice!"
Jesus did forgive but wasn't sure whether his heavenly Father would forgive. But he knew for sure that the blasphemy of the holy Spirit wouldn't find forgiveness and warned his disciples before judging with a measure that would turn back on their own heads.
To seek the just Judgment and leave room for God's Justice is definitly the King's Way to Heaven and the heavenly Father's Throne.
You made my day. 🍷😘
God bless you ❤❤❤
How do you know that God set you free to remarry?
I struggle with this because my narcissistic ex-wife discarded me as well.
The Bible is very clearly against remarriage. I hope that if a narcissist spouse discards us against our will then it is an exception but I'm afraid it could be adultery.
@@davidm4566 Read your Bible again and this time put on the plain glasses and take it word for word. The Bible is not against remarriage, but it's against remarriage under certain conditions. The real question is are you ready for remarriage? Or even marriage at all? Because Marriage is Sacred to God, and only Him can reveal to you His true purpose and design for marriage in your own life.
@@giftij My friend, you probably should take your own advice and read the Bible. It is *very* against remarriage. Only in certain circumstances I believe you can do it without it being adultery.
THIS is what I hope for pastors to preach abou5 when they talk of forgiveness/ they never mention healthy boundaries or the fact that allowing people to repeat bad behaviors is in furtherance of abuse. Thank you for this message
I am beginning to think there is a reason why they don’t discuss healthy boundaries and abuse….
I never have heard it from anyone so clear as this video, I think these are unread pastors, blind leading blind. They put many lives in jeopardy
I suffered costly consequences with the rose-colored glasses I had on in my relationship with my nex. It nearly cost me my physical life. It did cost me 25 years of my precious life and everything for which I worked.
I heard it put this way once, "If you permit it, you promote it." I permitted his lies, use, abuse, cheating, and thieving. I permitted, promoted, and participated in pure evil.
At 64, I am paying dearly for it in picking up a gazillion tiny pieces of my shattered life, putting them back together one by one, and it has not been easy.
The costs get higher as one gets older. Take it from one who is living it as we speak. Don't be me.
I never heard it put like that. You can and will heal. I won't be the same , but stronger and wiser.
@terriefreeman9552 I'm just realizing what I've allowed after 40 years. All to keep the peace. It's overwhelming but I gotta move forward and do the right thing. I can relate to what you've been through. May God help you to get through this also.
I'm 62 years old and just getting out of a 40 years same mess married a covert narc I'm so sorry I ever met him
@@1010QUEEN7 narcs can't thrive without God's children. Believe in ourselves and walk away.
@@julietruesdell.371 thanks I'm free from him I discarded him 6 weeks ago
Thank you so much for telling this story. It is very similar to my own. In the end, I forgave my son and gave him to God, called on the police to help me when he came home that last day, the details of which I will spare everyone, and after that there was been no contact. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I did what needed to be done. And to deal with any guilt or pain that came up for me afterwards, I said to myself many, many times, it is time to take the savior cape off. He is no longer a child and fully aware and choosing to do what he does. I am not responsible for advocating for my son or trying to save him from his mistakes because he is no longer a child, and in fact I was never responsible for saving him to begin with. God already did that. He died on the cross to save all of us. God is the savior, not I. My job was to love my son, provide for him, educate him, and teach him the ways of the Lord so that he would be prepared to live his life according to God's will for him and choose that path. I did those things. However, God does not force his will upon us. Free will is his gift to humanity. Each one of us must choose to surrender to God of our own free will. My son knows the difference between right and wrong and anything else is just an excuse to continue doing what he fully knows is wrong. He made his choice. I made mine. My heart is sad, but this is about my son's relationship with God. He needs to work that out with God and I trust that God will bring him the experiences he needs to go through in his life that will give him the discernment that he so desperately needs. Oh, yes, many have looked at me in disdain... how can you a Christian mother be so heartless to force your son into the streets? Are you really his mother? I actually heard people saying these words in judgment. And I could have said many things, he has done this or that, he does not want the help, etc, etc. But I said nothing in response. First of all because it's not true, second because I don't owe anyone an explanation, only God, and third, I see these people clearly as being used by Satan in an attempt to use the power of love I feel for my son to try and get me to react and suck us both back into this toxic chaotic vortex and take my focus away from God, to eradicate God's peace from my heart so that I feel alone and abandoned and forsaken. To sow doubt in my heart. That was the aim. To destroy my relationship with God. Well, no. I have seen God operate in my life in so many ways, especially when I didn't realize the danger I was in until much later on, that I know he is always there for me, whether I am aware of it or not. I never let go of his hand. I can love my son, I still do love my son. But that does not mean I am not going to allow my son to use and destroy my resources because that will enable him to continue his behavior. That doesn't help my son. It doesn't help me. It helps no one. Sometimes the best thing one can do is simply let go and trust God to handle the rest. It really helped a lot to hear your explanation in Biblical terms. Love and forgiveness and compassion and all those other Godly qualities does not mean that you don't hold people accountable for their actions. I called him out on it until the day he left and that's where I stand.
When helping you is hurting me, I say no.
Good job Jesus didn't say that when contemplating the cross
This is a revelation! I have struggled with a narcissistic mother and brother my whole life. It has only been in the past few weeks that I’ve been able to see their behavior as deluded and ridiculous. Once I did, all the pain from their bad treatment of me neutralized. The best part was I finally had self confidence, a positive inner voice, and a feeling of knowing myself and of self worth. It was a long journey but I know this was a gift from Jesus. Every new day is exciting as I explore this new energy and learn who I truly am-49 years in. My devotion is no longer to these toxic people but to my true brother, the Lord, who has always been and will always be there for me, loving me just as I am, something my family members could never do. I thank you, Kris, for this important and life saving work. You truly follow God’s plan for you, and it is helping innumerable people. God bless you!
Oh gosh. I called out the behaviour of the narcissist (wannabe boss) at work, and one week on, I am "let go" due to lack of funding. A blessing in disguise.
This world is full of HATERS, those against God's work, MAGA run companies are firing anyone who does not support Trump.
I watch hundreds of videos a week, and this video was the most important video I've seen ALL YEAR. PRAISE GOD!!
Agreed. I'm watching for my fourth time as I keep finding gems. I need to write them down.
Forgiveness is about you, not about other people. Holding a grudge is poisonous.
You are the best christian speaker I have ever heard!! You are a great gift!
Lord, Please help me keep my sanity dealing with my evil narcissistic mother. I confronted her today.. called her out, why she can’t be a real Christian .. and her time is running out at 91. She hung up on me.. There is no reasoning with these demons, are able to be honest & transparent. Lord, take this albatross from my life and let me have some peace . I know demons are operating in her .. spiritually. It’s so oppressive.. Help me Lord!
@@blueskiesforever114 I am on your page, mine is very much that way too. It's not the easiest situation in one's life.
I understand you. Mine is midt 70s. Turned the rest of my family against me and trying to ruin my business, all because I set a boundary and asked for a break. She never takes any kind of responsibility either. Plays the victim and leaves. We can not change them, only Jesus can. Ask him for help and leave it in His loving hands. May Gods peace be with you. 🙏🕊️
I prayer for your deliverance in the name of the mighty Lord Jesus. 🙏🏾
I get it mine is 76. I can’t do anything good because anything I do She twist the story then tells everyone how awful I treat her. She has my dad turned against me even though she keeps record of every thing he has said to her over the last 55 yrs. If I’m sick she tries to upset me and makes things worse. I have to go no contact I feel I have no choice.
Same blue skies, I’ve almost made it a year not dealing with my Mom. Love her but tired of the games that were destroying me. Finally gave it to God but some days I wake up and wish for a relationship. It sucks but it’s how it is. I chose sanity and peace in the end. I couldn’t do a good job as a mom and wife when my heart and mind were being sabatoged. I let her and others go.
I am breaking free from the toxicity and people pleasing, but I continue to watch your videos to keep learning and healing. God bless you Kris❤
Oh, thank you so much for this beautiful teaching. I am finally divorcing my narcissist after 42 years of marriage, when this year his actions were so abominable that I could not stay any longer.
The grief at first was unbearable, but now I realize that I have been given a gift of freedom and peace.
I certainly believed that it was my job to suffer and serve, to pray, to appease him so he wouldn’t be take his anger out on me and the kids, etc. I always thought I was doing the right thing to hold it together for everyone else, and believing that our staying together was the best thing for the whole family.
If only I had known these concepts you are teaching 25 or 30 years ago, I would not have waited so long.
Thank you for the clarity. Jesus, indeed would not have encouraged me in this so long. I thought I was trying to listen to him, but perhaps my habits and old ways of thinking were too ingrained and too loud.
You are so brave. Keep going!
(There are situations when) "It's not love we're promoting, but sin we're enabling".
Amen, sister. 😢
Trump's deluded MAGA cult that's affecting our whole country negatively.
The Narcissism of God allows his children not to be Narcissists without boundaries. 🍷🌌
Thank you. I personally did not need the information but this is really useful for others who don't realise their version of Jesus is blurred or out of focus. I for one do forgive but I don't trust again easily, and repeat offenders can forget that I will trust them again. "Be ye therefore as wise as serpents and as simple as doves" Mathew 10:16
Howdy.
Nebuchadnezzar was a great example of that forgiveness and trust. Through Daniel's involvement with Neb, Neb slowly began to recognize the true God. ...BUT, In Daniel ch4, Nebuchadnezzar was so high-strung that he forgot YHWH. After his fall, it took 7yrs before HE restored him to his kingship, ending with Neb giving praise to YHWH.
Notice also Joseph. When he's 2nd in command in Egypt, he tested his brothers to see if they've changed. He had already forgiven them in his heart, but was slow to trust them again.
Beautiful point made.
Thanks
Shalom
This is so powerful. You have a priceless ministry who have not been taught these things by family or church. My life would have been more peaceful and joyous if I would have learned this sooner. Thank you.
They usually aren’t good at asking for forgiveness.
God bless you, Kris Reece! 💖
Kris, thank you for navigating me through the hardest season of my life. God bless you ❤🇩🇪🇺🇲
Me too
Thank you Kris for your gracious and insightful thoughts on managing narcs biblically. I liked how you used glasses as an analogy to point out the difference between distorted and clear thinking in these situations!
Forgiveness is crucial for your healing however boundaries is also important to those people you have forgiven.
Correct.
People think that us forgiving people means to keep standing there and taking it like a punching bag.......
We forgive because God requires us to forgive.
However until the other person shows that they understand that they have hurt us....... it is not possible to have a relationship / any more interactions with them.
I tell people what I learned about unhealthy relationships. A couple of examples: Jesus told Judas "go and do what you're going to do," and I would've told Judas to stay so we could talk about it. The Good Samaritan put the money for the injured man and said he would pay whatever he owed for the man's needs when he returned. I would've cancelled my travel plans, taken the injured guy home and planned his future. You are so dead on and I hope people hear you and pray for wisdom and healing.
Wow, yes !!
Forgive but doesn’t mean trust ❤
Thank you. My only regret is that I had not heard this 60 years ago.
Amen to that!
Kris, this is the most clear and concise explanation of the differences between loving, enabling, trusting and forgiving I have ever heard. Very well presented and truly inspired by the Spirit of God. Thank you so much for your ministry.
Excellent point. Don’t conflate forgiveness with trust. As the saying goes, “ You can forgive but don’t forget.” Their sin is not your problem. God gave you discernment. Use it.
Forgiveness is foregoing your right to eye for and eye justice. It has nothing to do with trust or restoration. You can and should forgive whenever possible because God said vengeance belongs to Him. But trust and restoration is earned by those who want it. If no effort is made to earn back your trust or restore the relationship, then there is no obligation to recipricate.
This was very good. The one thing we know about Jesus is he will not let us escape what we are responsible for. That includes our own behavior.❤❤❤
From every venue of public life, there are voices rising against the horrible impact of narcissism..Jefferson fisher, Rebecca Zung and the like have taken it to a new level on TH-cam, but there is SO MUCH that comes from knowing that Jesus said stuff like “Go tell that fox”…and the truths that Kris repeatedly draws out here…which we all need to hear…REPEATEDLY‼️thx Kris❣️
We have those evil workers as leaders in our churches today. Praying God will cleanse his church from these wicked people.
Thank you!!! I'm leading a study on this and was STILL questioning it. Your video popped up was God's perfect timing.
I'm so glad it gave you the clarity needed :) God is good!
ALL the time!❤@@Kris_Reece
💯💯💯
Yes confrontation is needed sometimes. Bring another Jesus we need him.
I see narcissism developing in my 16 year old nephew. A lot of his toxic and violent episodes are enabled. I see a lot of his behavior would change if his mother would discipline and correct him but I see she wants to babyfy him. I had to call the cops on him this past week when he was acting like he was trying to push her down the stairs. And would you know it, my family seem more upset with me than him. I told them they would have to continue with his toxic behavior if they dont put their foot down. The only thing they tell me, "Im not giving up on him." I told them getting him help is not giving up on him. Watching him getting worse and just not doing anything is giving up on him.
I imagine his parents see him as that little child and that little child is baffled by their rejection should they hold him to a standard that he is not used to. It does make a parent feel they are abandoning their child but when you finally "get it' you have no problem telling them to the face, "enough of that crap"! You need to learn to make a constructive life relying on how you are uniquely made. There are caring people not attached to your family to walk along side you to figure it out." Parents don't realize they will suck you dry and there will be nothing left to help them with anyways.
Thank you for this. This is exactly what I needed to hear as my divorce from my covert Narc wife is almost final. It was nothing short of emotional/ spiritual torture for 12 years trying to figure out why someone who "lays hands on people, speaks in tongues, acts like a prophet etc." could be so horrible behind closed doors. She used the bible and her seminary training as weapons against me. I WILL JOIN THE MOVEMENT against religious Female Narcs to expose them for what they are. They are nothing more than the ancient Jezebel Spirit at work within and outside of the church determined to destroy men of purpose and men of faith...............................
This is beautifully put.
I needed to be corrected by what you said, and I felt convicted. I was reading the word today and God showed me that I don't need to cast my pearls to the swine anymore.
Jesus also told His disciples to dust off their feet if they don't receive the love God has told you to speak of from Him.
I think they just don't want to believe that God s really changing me and that I hate sin now. I only want to be obedient to God.
The Lord told me He will use my trial to bring someone to The Lord, but in His timing. 🙏🙏
Thank you. I needed to hear this. I am the executor of a friends estate who has a 43 year old son that is a drug addict, and narcissist. Before she died, she asked me to help him, but I told her it would not be like she helped him. She allowed him to live with her, destroy her house, enabled his sin, and he abused her in multiple ways. He destroyed her home so she couldn't even live there the last few months of her life.
I did attempt to help him find a place to go, but the next day he began calling me all sorts of names, and so I had to put up a boundary. He will probably end up in jail, however that may be the only way to actually help him.
You're wrong.
Why is he wrong ? What is right to you then @@marinat187
Let him go. He is responsible for himself.
That was the best straight up, honest video on the topic I’ve seen.
Thanks for the message.
This is very useful even for dealing with toxic people or manipulative or abusive people.
Maybe more can benefit from the video if they can find it like those who doesnt know yet that they are dealing with a "narc" but knows that someone is toxic or manipulative or Who constantly disrespects healthy boundaries
This is 🎯. Thank you for this. This validates a decision my husband made in January that others and that person could not understand. We did our best to be patient, understanding, and respectful, creating a space for healthy communication. I always thought of Christ, especially when I was most stressed and frustrated, so that I did not sin my anger or abuse anyone. This person continued to dismiss our boundaries and rules blatantly and even daringly. We instated appropriate consequences with the promise of greater ones if challenged again, and they chose to provoke and invoke that promise, along with disrespecting verbally, resisting ownership of offenses. To this day, they blame shift, manipulate, and refuse accountability. They blame me, and I did nothing but follow through and keep them accountable. Same with my husband, but they blame me more because it's easier (I'm not a blood relative). I've decided to let it go but I refuse to allow them in my home or my life until they come correct. I am tired of people getting away with things like this and just expecting the world to be the same. I'm not the one.
Wow! I didn't expect much but this is PROFOUND. Awesome Advice. God bless you. Thank you.
When facing narcissistic behavior, we can look to the example of Jesus, who navigated difficult interactions with wisdom, grace, and strength. Jesus encountered individuals who were manipulative, self-centered, and even abusive in their words and actions. Yet, He always responded in ways that aligned with God’s truth and love, never compromising His values or mission.
Jeffery Richardson’s {Jeff_hightech}teachings may emphasize that just as Jesus set clear boundaries [IG] and spoke truth without fear, we, too, are called to handle narcissists with a balance of compassion and assertiveness.
Mathew 23:27 explains this all.
Examples you give are beautiful. Your teachings are always straight and good. God bless you dear Kris.
This is the kind of teaching that is needed in every family. Wow, it's rare to get straight biblical answers to that can be put into practice now
The Spirit of Christ is announced by Christ himself to enter into the blood family lines of this world and split up the family members into friends and enemies of the Peace of the Christ.
And whatever the Christ from Nazareth has spoken out, has not been spoken out in vain. The Spirit of God rocks hard.🍷🎃
11 or 12 years ago, I found Sam Vaknin on YT because I was dealing with getting a narcissist out of my head and out of my life. Now in 2024, I had to do it with another one, only this time I was much more efficient about it. In fact, without thinking about it, I found myself just listening and assessing for months, then sudden and total no contact. That made the narc immediately round up flying monkeys with slander, and launch the smear campaign (which I still just ignore). Listening to your channel has helped me immensely to stay resolute during the attempted retaliation. You're the most helpful and supportive channel on this subject - thank you!!!
We all living in integrity with love and peace in the name of Jesus Amen
Most excellent and appreciated. Taken most seriously and will apply to action. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ ✝️👑💖!!!
Amen , Jesus chastens those he love !
This is a good truth. People don't like to confront because it makes life messy, but the truth comes out in the end and better to deal with it head on.
Great video
I am married to a narcissist sociopath. I have forgiven him but I also set boundaries. We are informally separated. That works out better than divorce because it puts me in control of our finances. I lived with the crazy train for decades. He never thought I would become informally separated from him because neither of us believes in divorce except in rare cases. When I let him know that I was informally separated from him, man did he go into guilt and manipulation mode. He was even able to convince some of our mutual friends that he was the one in the right. He did commit adultery. He was also caught doing several things wrong. It is so clear that I am the victim. Narcissistic sociopaths are the masters of gaslighting.
@@shelteredsparrow2736 You are not alone!
so WHY are u still married to him? u HAVE biblical grounds for divorce, so do it! your life will NOT get better if u go back to him. been there done that, i got a divorce, my life is now 1000% better!!!
@@Lauren-vd4qe she said it puts her in control of finances. Maybe she will when the time
Is right. Sometimes lawyer fees take money away from the kids needs also. She left him and that’s the point
They are flying monkeys masters, they always have the territory around them scoped out. The one in my past made friends with my family, he could smell vulnerability. I think he's going to fry some day.
Absolute GOLD Kris. You're doing such wonderful work. I've been through hell and back with narcissists and your videos and wisdom have helped bring me to Jesus. Thank you so, so much!
No contact was the most painful, essential and life giving action boundary I ever had to do. It saved me.
Very helpful information. I took a hard line when I was just 12 years old regarding my parent's behavior. I asked myself "how can I honor my father and my mother when they arent being God honoring?" I concluded that I can just honor God.
This was so helpful! Thank you. Churches usually only teach forgiveness but they leave out boundaries, and enabling. “Forgiveness does not mean trust and restoration “. Thank you for this clarification!!!!!! ❤❤
It's two sides of coin.
How to deal with narcissist and at the same time, how not to be narcissist.
I want to learn both.
Thank you, I needed this video. I have forgiven her thousands of times with her ranting, but I was feeling guilty about not trusting her anymore. I had the exactly the same question on my mind. Thank you again!
Its about time someone addressed this issue. I'm just surprised that you didn't incorporate
*Matthew 10; 14*
in your answer though.
Wow your message in this video really helps me in regaining some of my Faith Back 🤩🥳😘🥰😍😇!!!
“Respect is given, trust is earned.” You give respect because *you* are a respectful person. You trust someone because *they* by their actions have demonstrated their trustworthiness. In the first instance it’s about your character as a kind, compassionate, respectful person. But in the second instance it’s about the other person’s character. Their behavior tells you if they are trustworthy or not. Listen to the words, respond to the behavior. That’s what Jesus did. Only he did not have to listen to their words-he read hearts.
Jesus never gave up on me so i Will never give up on my family,we were not called to live a cosy life we were called to stand firm for our families and friends and bring them to Jesus Christ ❤
@@ladysussie Easy to say when your husband isn’t beating your kids.
Matthew chapter 23 opened my eyes to so many things! I have studied this chapter so much. There is so much Wisdom in this chapter. ❤
This is excellent teaching. Every Christian should listen to it about three times. Blessings on your day. Psalm 91 over all believers.
Agape love is seeking the highest good. Often this doesn’t look “nice” but it’s far more loving than shallow sentiment.
This just liberated me in a way that I cannot even express. After a lifetime of being raised by and closely intimate with malignant narcissists, I constantly self-blamed and stayed (physically and emotionally) much longer than I should have because of the distortions you mentioned. Thank you so much for making this video. It's life changing.
Only God can grant forgiveness. All we can do is accept the circumstances and either stay or walk away. Thank you for this lesson.
I remember hearing a while back that Jesus was no easy-going loving hippy. He was polite but not friendly. He gave status quo Jews hell like the Sanhedrin. I learned about righteous anger with regard to his getting pissed, overturning tables in the temple. That's a boundary those guys crossed with Jesus. Fear by subordinates is an integral part to variable extent of a leadership style.
The Christ Jesus was a Philosopher King, but only a few disciples got a chance to hear, learn and see more from his teachings about the Kingdom of his heavenly Father. With lots of fasting, suffering, praying and feasting. A Philosopher King for uneducated fisher-men, whores and custom officers. 🍷🎃
❤🥰🙏
Thanks Kris Reece, your articulation on this topic is so wonderful.
May we have the grace to deal wisely with these set of people. You just can't stop having them around you.
You nailed THE WOKE, THE SOCIALIST, THE FASCIST crazies.😊
Thank you for this. I am bombarded by narcissists. I am taking a hard line and people don't like it. You are helping me understand how to explain my behavior.
Forgiveness is a gift to you. Restoration comes with repentance. If I forgive I can let go of the angst but I don't have to trust straight away.
Yes. We're called to love and forgive;
But that Doesn't mean, kids everyone's feet, then let them walk all over us !!! That's where boundaries come in!!! 💗🕊️💗
That was, Don't KISS everyone's feet, then let them walk all over you!!!
That was, Don't KISS everyone's feet, then let them walk all over you !!!
Amen
Wonderful advice from a well spoken lady! Blessings.
Yeah, I needed this. Thank you.
Such fine words, beautifully spoken.
Your videos are so helpful. I encountered someone a year ago who almost broke me and when my eyes were opened, I realized I’d been surrounded by them starting with my mother. Needless to say, it’s always made me look inward and seek healing. Again, thank you. ❤
Jake sounds just like my late brother. My father enabled him until his ( Dad’s) last day.
My mother didn’t interfere much because she had reason to believe that if dad had to choose, he’d go with his golden child the heroin addict, not his wife. It took me years to forgive my brother for all the chaos he spread around so generously and I prayed so hard and tried just as hard.I am glad I succeeded, so I could sit with him as he was dying and only feel love and compassion for him.
Such good counsel. I am totally dealing with this right now and your video popped up. Yes, forgiveness does not mean you have to be a doormat....you don't have to lose everything you are and have by trusting someone who has over and over lied, manipulated and used you. It is good to know Christ had some boundaries because He is our ultimate example.
Thanks be to God for Christ Jesus .
Thanks for the reminder! So many people accuse others of being 'un-Christian' for merely setting healthy boundaries.
Releasing all resentment and communicating boundaries for ourselves and others to move on is the true forgiveness/trust we can give in hard times with repeat offenders. Great message 🙏