Hana Ahmad Hey guys do i have a chance is because she Said it before But i havent talk to her only write to her and i dont fort balls to it But i dont know if i have a chance
This is so true. People WILL MAKE TIME AND MOVE THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES if you are the right person. Schedules and not being ready are a poor excuse and that person doesn’t care enough to be honest with you.
I disagree right now I am not in the right place for a relationship and even if I met my dream guy I think that's what I would tell him. Sometimes people have issues in their life they need to deal with before they involve more people in their life intimately.
That’s complete bs and I 5 years later I hope you realize that. If your dream guy came along I would bet my life savings on it that you would not pass him up. Everyone has issues in their life. Everyone has problems. When the right one comes along, you deal with them and figure out the relationship as you go. That’s how life is.
I have to disagree with this advice. It may be correct but not always. Sometimes not being ready for a relationship means that you are in fact interested in the person but you just want to get to know them a bit better before you agree to a relationship. When people have had previous relationships that didn't go so well in the past, it's only natural that they won't be quick to agree to a relationship and I'm speaking from personal experience. It's only fair to both parties that you both take the time to get to know each other before you agree to a relationship. And yes that usually includes sleeping with each other on a non-committed basis first.
It's different for different people...some people know that when they love they love hard. Usually those kind of people end up being hurt the most. If you're tired of being hurt you're not going to jump into relationships after that. U could very well be interested and not ready. The guard is up and will stay up until they're ready... moral of the story is it doesn't always mean rejection. Sometimes it's for protection
This is a tricky situation. I agree with what Marie has to say for the most part. I have been on the losing end before and because I got so tired of chasing, I gave up on someone completely and started traveling and posting pics with all these girls on Facebook. What ended up happening is because I stopped pursuing her she had time to digest everything. She ended up practically begging me to get with her and I actually had to think about it before I said yes. Moral of the story, less is more. In the beginning of a relationship, try your best to not text or call someone too much. If there is a question that warrants a response then provide them with an answer and don't play games. However, try to lay back from meaningless conversation in between dates. We've all been there... we've all been on the chasing end. -Anonymous
Can I just say I loved this video ... It was a harsh reality watching it but thank you, it's happened to me quite a few times lately but as you said I'm not dumb enough to believe if you really like someone you wouldn't wanna be with them . Thank You x
alexis, just be her friend for now. If she starts dating someone else, that's a different story. She clearly likes you, but isn't ready for a relationship. And that's OK!
I've been talking to someone that is about 2 months out of a marriage where the other person cheated and told them they didn't love them when things got rough. They told me they like me a lot but can't start a relationship until they are happy with themselves. Should I bother trying to pursue this down the road or just let them go? We've only been talking about 3 weeks.
Never be a womans friend if you have crush on her.. she is disrespecting you by keeping you hanging around..the time you hang around her you could try to find a better woman.
Thanks! I asked this girl out before but she said I am not looking for a relationship AND SHE GOES AND DATES A SENIOR WHO IS AN ATHLETE! SHE LIED TO ME!
This is pretty good advice, and I had already started backing off from someone I thought things were progressing with. We've been seeing eachother for about 1 month, and I thought this had potential, but then she gave the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line, and it really bummed me out. So, I pretty much am letting her contact me, I went on a trip this weekend by myself and didn't invite her, and it's funny how now she's contacting me all the time and inviting me over her place. It's a strange situation to be in because I really like her and want something more, but I have to consciously stay backed off. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up honestly, haha. I sort of wear my heart on my sleeve, so it's tough being aloof around her.
I totally agree. I've always been a "commitment-phobe" but when the guy I'm currently dating came around, I realised I was never really 'not ready' for commitment, I'd just never found anyone worth committing to. In any scenario, if it's the right person, you'll be together.
That’s not always the case. When I found the right one, I realized I didn’t have to settle and I decided to move on. I met another man who is my husband. Other women however are committed to being single for the rest of their lives and may have come to the realization that they are happier and at peace remaining single.
Hey Marie! I was the one who wanted you to make this video two years ago after I basically got rejected after going on a date and he told me "he wasn't ready for a relationship" we were co workers and still are funny thing is two years later we started talking and then began dating, it's almost been a year now for us and we always laugh about the time he told me that and he told me he was in a weird place in his life at that point and just didn't think about dating. I just think it's funny how things work out because things just happened and never thought it would go like it did but I'm so glad because he's such a great guy! Two years later and I still thank you for this video.
Thank you so much for this. I got those words just today on our first date. I feel miserable and pretty much worthless at this point. But your video helped a little
@@vop4813 to conclude, I'm still struggling mentally to love myself and learn how to make friends again(which has been difficult because of covid and my first year of college being online in 2020). Overall, my mental health has been so much better without him in my life. I hate that i have days where i miss him and being able to talk to him, but i think it's ok to have those days considering we grew up together.
I Giggly, it worries me that he wants to find someone else more "compatible." What he is really saying is that he will date you until he find someone better. That is inexcusable. You are a great catch and he should feel lucky he is with you. That is what the man of your dreams will feel like. Not sure if he is it, unless he changes his tune very quickly.
Holy crap. I don't usually go in for hyperbole, but this was the smartest thing I've ever been told about this situation and I wish I'd heard it years ago the first time it happened to me. You have saved my stupid little heart, and at the very least you saved me a few months of heartache. (I mean, yeah, it's still going to hurt, but not hearing this would have made it so much worse.) Thank you.
I’m the one who isn’t ready for a relationship. I love him but I don’t even love myself . I’m a really insecure person and know im still on my own journey to love myself. If I love myself by being with him . Then when if I loose him. I might fall apart.that’s what im afraid of. Not because I don’t like him. I am interested, so interested i don’t want to mess up my chance.
So sad that everyone is in the comments asking the same general question that the video is even about. If someone is telling you they're not ready for relationship, no matter what the fluff surrounding it is (he/she says this, etc) actions speak louder than words. If you want a relationship, or some sort of commitment and they're not giving that to you- move on. Find someone who will people !!! Or just work on loving yourself so that you can attract the right people for you. Xo
I totally agree!! It doesn't matter how much they tell you how awesome/attractive/fun you are, or even if they still flirt with you, they are simply NOT interested (or interested enough) in you to want to commit to you, if they tell you they're "not ready." Even down the road, if they suddenly claim they're "ready," how do you know that they're just not settling for you? Kick them to the curb, and move on to people who actually DO want to be with you, and won't waste your time!
I totally agree with you Sydney Dively. Many times people say they don't want to be in a relationship, because they don't want to loose a good friend. And the good friend wants more. If you wants to be friend with this person who is not ready, be friends at distance. Don't contact this person. Let him or her contact you. Let this person chasing you. This person already know you wants more. Don't sit there and hoping for more. Because you will get hurt really bad. Most of the times, it will not be more. Live your life. It's better moving on and go on dates with others. Waiting and waiting will hurt a lot. Even more than before.
Im basically in love with and he's like I'm not ready for a relationship right now but I have feelings for u I'm like wtf yea I'm cutting my ties as much as it hurts:(
Hi Marie, I went to look for exactly this kind of videos, for these words, and I want to thank you because I'm in a situation that is practically the kind you're picturing, and your speech is helping me, a lot, I'm processing this whole thing and being confused I really could use these wise words. Thank you again!
I'v been messaging a woman for a few weeks, and we have been bouncing off each other really well. I spoke with her a couple of times before we eventually meet up. Everything is great on a day out. Cuddles and little kisses on the blanket in the sunshine, fed me strawberries...All th signs are looking good, and when I get back she messages " really enjoyed the day and your company but don't "think" I'm ready for a relationship...I really struggled today as you could tell" - I've returned a sympathetic message an backed off for a few days.
I'm actually confused as to why so many people think these so called "rules" apply to every situation in dating. I dated a girl for a year who said she didn't like me and wasn't ready for a relationship with me.
Hello, Marie, I'm with this girl now. she's the girl of my dreams. But she has just been through an emotional breakup with her ex,so she's going through a hard time now. And I'm just trying my best to be there for her at all times. After few weeks later, she told me that while she was in a relationship with her ex, she has always liked me in a special way. And she always questioned her relationship and thought about being with me, but she didn't because she knew it was wrong since she was committed in a relationship. She knows how I really feel about her and she admits that the connection we share is really real and rare. After the past few weeks, she told me my advances are working and she's tempted to be with me, but she's still trying to be single at the moment. And after some deep thinking, she told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. What does she mean? Do I really have a chance?or she's just not that into me?
I went on 4 dates with this girl, she was in a relationship for 5 years which she got out of almost a year ago. We would text throughout the day and tell each other how much we liked each other. She had made me meet her family on our first date and ever since then she always told me how much her family loved me. I told her I had a dream asking her father for approval to date her, and she said you definitely have his approval. She was totally into me. One day about a week ago I called her because she didn't message me for a whole day. I asked if she was losing interest, and she said I had nothing to worry about, that she's just busy with school work and her job, and she asked me if I was available to go out on a date within a couple of days. The morning of the day we were supposed to go out, she called me and said that she really likes me but that she isn't ready for a relationship. Any advice?
Ive been seeing this guy for almost 6 months. We hang out every week and get along great. I've started to develop deep feelings for him, which he knows. Every time we see each other he tells me he really cares about me, has feelings for me, etc. but isn't ready to be in a relationship because of his past. I don't get it!
Courtney, I would treat him as simply a friend and meet other people. You've got to listen to him when he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Whatever the reason, you need to move on. And probably, that is the exact time when he will show interest in you. But by then, you may have met someone really great...and it probably won't be him.
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I was on a deeply committed relationship with this girl, but she would always dump me, or be kind of mean to me, while I was always trying my best to be the best possible man that I could offer to her, literally supporting her every step of the way on anything she wanted I was there to have her back and hold her if she fell.. recently she broke off with me again in a very cold manner saying she was not ready for a relationship, but that it hurt her because she loved me. but that she had dreams and things she wanted to experience. I will be honest here because that really broke me. I'm doing what I can to stay strong and not call her, because she really has no tact regarding my feelins.
you still here? anyone still here? i do have this kind of attitude towards her - take it or leave it. right? she's not ready for a relationship and enjoys being single. got out of a (very rocky) relationship a month or two ago, and isn't too interested in love or romance. she jumps back and forth with her ideas towards love and her ex, me, or a potential 3rd person (a person who doesn't exist in her life but might). i watched them fall apart, piece by piece, and it was messy. we decided to do a "month together" plan. we were together for a month when she was in the city, and it was lovely for both of us. we're talking everything from sex to dates to just hanging out, studying togheter. we're extremely emotionally close and aren't afraid to say it straight to each other. sometimes she'll refer to my (and our) future as if i'll meet another girl, sometimes she wants to be that girl. right now her headspace doesn't seem to be in the right place. based on action alone, i know she cares deeply for me and loves me. yet, hearing things like, "i can't love you the way i loved him", and "i feel like something is missing" is destroying my self-esteem and making me anxious. she's only said those things twice, and i could tell she was in pain while saying them. on one hand, i know those are genuine feelings and i need to distance myself a bit (which i am doing and have done), but also that they're reliant on the "right now", and who knows how she'll feel in the future, once all this disappointment with love clears up. we "broke up", but she couldn't help herself but to hold my hand and look into my eyes in that way. we've been enjoying a good friendship. i'm ridiculously confused and not specifically holding out for her, but god i hope we'll be together one day, for real. i guess time will tell if it's me, or her. if she dates another dude, i'll know it was me. if not, it was just her, and the whole "timing" thing was legit. sometimes her future vision is just her, earning money and raising animals, sometimes it's with a loving husband (who knows who that is?), sometimes it's this way or that. i can tell she's confused, too. i think it is legit, because it's not like the other times girls have said this to me. in the past, i have immediately given up, because i knew it meant they didn't care. but with her, it doesn't feel that way. either way, i can't wait to continue our friendship and see where it goes, regardless of whether or not my dream comes true.
Thanks ! She can have me , we are 50 ish she is way out of my league professionally , financially. But she was very friendly & then next day apologised for being too friendly & said she doesn’t want a relationship. Totally shocked me OK . Days later . I explained I didn’t think this as I’m a rat bag knife maker & she very high professional. She chuckled To my surprising, she likes knives & started to tease . I feel a real connection. After speaking for 45 seconds . I just think wow your gorgeous . Can you make sense of this. Thanks CHRISTOPHER
Guys...you can do it...all of it comes from stress and maybe your wrong behaviour with her...tell her and be yourself and be yourself but better and Not so pushy and needy...it will be ok Dont listen to her
There was this girl at work who I could tell liked me. Ive caught her staring at me on a couple occasions then she blushes and looks down at the ground. She finds ways to be with me and whenever I talk to other girls she always appears and tries to be the center of attention. She purposely bumps in to me in a flirty way and she asks me personal questions like what my favourite films are. So she OBVIOUSLY likes me basically. I told her that I really liked her but she says she doesnt want to get into anything with ANYONE and that she doesnt want a relationship at this stage of her life. I am SO confused and need some advice. I aslo have been in love with this girl since the day I first met her which is what makes this VERY painful.
Me and this girl are really close, and i have feelings for her and she likes me to. Shes really worried that if we date and it ends badly, it will ruin our friendship. I feel that i want it more than she wants it. I try to play hard to get but whenever i see her or see her number in my phone i cant help but text her. I ask her if she wants to do something, and she seems open to it but then cancels at the last minute. She is very pretty but not like drop dead gorgeous, and i honestly like her mostly for her personality, and she trusts me with everything.
Hi Marie. I posted a while ago (I'm sure you remember the username) and said that after much difficulty and me ending the friendship I was in with her, the girl I am in love with asked me out a day later saying she "wants to go on a date with me" and "test the waters". We went on a date, and it went well! You said that it seemed to go well and were happy for me. She even introduced me to her parents, and they loved me! Anyway, a few days after the date (due to lack of contact it being Christmas time), I surprised the girl at work with hot chocolate and she loved the gesture saying that her coworkers "aren't used to me liking boys" via text later that night (basically confirming she liked me!) She even kissed me on the way out when she walked me out! (albeit on the cheek, but I've never kissed a girl before). Anyway, I give her a Christmas Gift a few days later (something she knew about and it, without going into too much detail) was a relic of our unique shared past (if you remember from my previous post, it was a stuffed animal trophy we went against for in elementary school, which I won. She was my opponent in a "current event" competition grade wide. We were in the finals and I won. So I gave her the animal [pristine condition] and printed and framed the articles we used, which I spent days searching for). Anyway, everyone I talked to said that it was the sweetest and nicest gift anyone has ever heard of and she will "swoon" over it. That night, she calls me saying that I am the nicest, sweetest, most thoughtful guy she's ever met, but she doesn't have time for a boyfriend and isn't ready. She broke my heart, but she said she still really wanted to be friends. I said like last time, I couldn't be just friends because I love her too much (I didn't use the word "love" with her, I'm not an idiot haha), so I ended the friendship, expecting to never hear from her again. I went into a bit of depression for the next two months (starting when I ended our friendship in December) until now (mid february). No contact at all. I blocked her on Facebook, removed traces of her, etc. She called a week later saying she found the hidden note I put in the framed articles (the gift) and said that she didnt' feel right keeping the animal from me. So I go to her house for a minute, take back my animal (it was very courteous and nice) and leave, saying it was good to see her. Anyway, to modern day, I was starting to get a bit better and move on (I still loved her, and had zero ambition to meet or pursue anyone else, but I wasn't sad really about it anymore). I had zero contact with her Until three days ago. She showed up at my workplace with a friend to visit me unexpectedly. I was surprisingly fine around her. Treating her like generally anyone else. She randomly asked what I'm doing for valentines say. I said working, she said that she'd come visit so "I'm not alone on Valentine's Day". We make small talk (it being not awkward at all) and her and her friend leave. 45 minutes later, they come back (apparently never leaving the store) and she is stammering and awkwardly asking if I would "still hang out with her", because she is "showing potential interest and wants to see where it goes". I said "sure" very neutrally, like I didn't care. She said I was very chill about it and her friend said that "I'm surprised you didnt' hear us. We spent these 45 minutes thinking of how to ask you and what do say if you said no". I asked "Like a script?" My love interest agreed. So at this time, it's closing time at my workplace, so I walk them out. I noticed that (A) she was starring at me a lot and (B) there was a lot of... sexual tension when she went for the last hug goodbye. We decided we'd talk about it a bit more. She texts me that night saying she "didn't want to confuse me and wanted to make her intentions clear" which they aren't. I said "we'll talk about it a bit more and see where it goes". She agreed. So, apparently she's coming to work to visit me on Valentine's Day. Basically what I'm asking Marie is I WANT to give her a second chance... I still love her so much. And it's not like we "broke up" and she wants a second chance. But I refuse to go into it if she is just "maybe I like you and want to TRY" again. That's not worth it to me, so if/when we talk about this, I'm asking "What's Changed?" and "why now?" essentially. As well as "I need to know exactly what your feelings to me are, and what you expect and want from this". Does this all make sense? Basically, I want to see if she is genuinely interesting or is doing this for my attention again. If it's the latter, fuck her. I refuse to go through with that and it will be easy knowing she's a manipulative, horrible person for doing that to me. But if NOT, then hurray fro me, she came around. I want to see if she will put the same amount of effort into this that I would if it's what she wants (50-50). I mean to me, she HAD to have a reason to come back to see me, right? I mean, she wouldn't do all this and LITERALLY prepare and bring a friend in to see me, if she was doing it for the hell of it. Whether the reason is in my favor or not, I'm not sure. That's what I aim to find out. So basically Marie, what do you think? Is this a good course of action? I am refusing any contact initiation. I am not doing anything, just so you know. And i have zero urge to do so as well. Again (as my friends said a long time ago), if a girl likes you, she will contact you and make time for you". I believe that. So Marie... any thoughts? I personally think I have a good course of action (I honestly want to say yes to her because I miss her so much, still love her, and want to be with her more than anything). But I guess I'll see how it goes, right?
Sorry Marie, to clarify a few things: -Relating to her "visiting on Valentine's Day", it's not that SHE didn't want to be alone that day. The exact conversion went like this. Her: So what are you doing for valentines day? Me: a bit shocked by the question Me? Working Her: Oh, that's so sad! I'll come visit so you're not alone on Valentine's day! ---- Also, I do want to give her a second chance. I never stopped loving her during those two months (and, I'm sure you think it's pathetic, but) I still thought we were meant to be together. I had no ambition to pursue anyone else either. (And it's not like I didn't try. I got more numbers. Some women even GAVE their number to me). But I just didn't have that immediate chemistry I had with this girl. So I really want to say yes, but I want her to basically Prove she is genuine to me (if that's what she is interested in.) I won't find out until I talk to her, but do you know of any ways I can ask or anything she can do or say to make it clear she does like me and wants this to work and isn't just "trying" or whatever?
If you really like this person, and you wants to be friend with her och him, then be friends. But be friends at distance. Don't contact this person. Let him or her contact you. Let this person chasing you. This person already know you wants more. Because if you are a close friend with this person, hoping you will be together in the future, you can get hurt really bad. It is possible this person are not ready for a relationship, and when ready wants to be with you. But you can not be sure. So be friends at distance. Live your life. Go out on dates with others. Hang out with friends, do something creative. If it was me, I would cut the band with this person, if I was in love. So I don't get more hurt. Waiting and waiting for someone, is the most painful you can do. Because the chances are not on your side.
Me and this guy chat for 5 or more..hours, almost everyday.. and have for about a month. When I asked how they felt they said they were not ready for a relationship. He said he was not saying, yes or no, just not now. He said I was pretty, because I asked him. Does this guy like me? He said he was not like most guys and he means what he says and he is not lying!
What if she says 'shes not looking for a relationship" but holds you, cuddles with you, acts like a girl friend? Sorry, i feel like such a wuss asking this. Thanks
pdawg1313, she is clearly sending you mixed signals...and playing games. I doubt she will change. You could stay friends with her, but don't expect anything more, because it won't happen. This is an ego trip for her.
when they say this it sometimes means they just cant be seeing themselves in a relationship.. it’s scary. kissing, doing all that new shot seems scary. sometimes you’ll probably get paranoid and end up ruining everything and it alls turns to trash :/
I was on a deeply committed relationship with this girl, but she would always dump me, or be kind of mean to me, while I was always trying my best to be the best possible man that I could offer to her, literally supporting her every step of the way on anything she wanted I was there to have her back and hold her if she fell.. recently she broke off with me again in a very cold manner saying she was not ready for a relationship, but that it hurt her because she loved me. but that she had dreams and things she wanted to experience. I will be honest here because that really broke me. I'm doing what I can to stay strong and not call her, because she really has no tact regarding my feelins. I saw her as the best girl ever and the most beautiful girl, but now I'm kind of feeling sad because I gave it my best. yet she did not care to appreciate every sacrifice I did. even tho she says I know you always helped me out and I appreciate that, but she actually says it in a tone like thanks but get over it. plus she tells me that I did it because I wanted to, no body asked me. i don't know what to think, I will appreciate your advice. thanks
I need help Marie, she said she likes me a lot and then she broke up with her ex and he hurt her a lot and then she told me that she isn't ready for a relationship. Was the timing bad? She said she meant it that she likes me a lot. She said that it would be the dream to attend the same college and I make her feel good inside and she smiles when I talk with her.
What if someone says they aren't ready for a serious relationship, but you did not ask them this question? They voluntarily told you, but always asking questions about you. (NOTE: You and they are not dating.) Always around you and always comparing their self to want you're interested to. And they always give you strong eye contact but sometimes stare at some girls. This dude is confusing, but well, I am 8 years older than him.
Oh. Strange. Others tell me though I shouldn't pursue men that are 18-20 though. But they are the only ones who approach me. My life is difficult. *head down* But thank you for this feedback.
This is exactly what I wanted to hear... But what does a guy do when she throws out "I like you, you make me happy, I don't want to spend time with anyone else, I have no other interest in anybody else but you"... That confuses me.
Thank you so much! This video really helped me out. It was pretty harsh seeing the reality but I guess their are better people out there for me and I shouldn't wait or try for one guy who is making an excuse, no guy with worth the wait!!! Thanks again
Thank You Marie Dubuque for this.! I appreciate your videos especially this one. I needed to hear this since I was rejected 3 days ago by my special someone. :)
My situation is, there is a girl I am very interested in.. She is fresh out of a 2 year marriage and she has a two year old, she is a great mother, and I love kids. Things aren't very serious, but I could see me and her going somewhere... However, I'm the middle of buying a house, and going back to school for an 8 week course that's 2 hours away from where I live for a better job.. But the job is in my home town where I am now. And i am legitimately not ready for a relationship while doing all of that. I feel like with everything else going on, it would put strain on the relationship, and potentially kill it before it has time to grow into anything.. I'm all for trials and tribulations, but I don't want to wreck it. She is also now a single mother, working full time, and going to school full time.. And it was a mutual decision that we both weren't ready for a relationship right now... I do want to date her, just not right now because I think that's best.. Not because I'm not interested? So I'm confused.. Did I just accidentally friend zone this awesome girl?
Blane Grinsted why don't you see each other when you can? Tell her what you just told me. Make it a goal to see each other once a month as friends and see what develops.
Thanks for the upload. I just received the following text: "I don't wanna loose you and I wish that I felt ready for something more but at the moment I'm not and that's nothing personal to you, be it with you or anyone but I honestly couldn't think of a nicer man to be with". What do you make of this, Marie? Thank you.
Dear Marie, I was seeing a single mother exclusively for 2 months. I travel for work so in the back of both of our minds, we knew I would have to leave eventually when the job was done. However, we did everything together. She introduced me to her son and her mother. We both didn't want to commit to a relationship, but we had a very strong desire to see each other whenever possible. Over the course of time, with my work wrapping up on this site, she has distanced herself a lot from me. She doesn't text me as often or at all anymore. She has apologized for "hurting" me. Obviously, I know what the answer is now, but through course of time, would she ever be interested in me again? I did chase a little bit, basically, myself telling her i understand her position. I immediately stopped that but it's only been a few days since this has happened. I do miss her a lot. I've traveled for work over 4 years and really have not met anyone like her. Strange how things happen. Also herself and I recently got out of serious relationships and kind of fell for each other too soon. Added detail for you. Any advice?
William Kempher I would really move on. I know it hurts, but the sooner the better. Start meeting new people. Sure, she could come around at some point, but don't wait around.
So I have a question, I meet this guy on an online dating site, texting and conversations effortless; I meet him for coffee and we really liked each other and he said that he didn't live in the same state but wanted to move to my state. He also said at the time that he would be interested in dating long distance and kissed me at this end of the date. The next day he texted me and said that he had been thinking and didn't feel that he could be in a relationship right now, I told him that that was fine and not to contact me anymore since he felt that way. Well the next morning he texted me and he said, "I don't want to delete your number because what if you are the woman I'm suppose to be with." But not right now, he needs time. Should I keep in touch with him and text once in awhile to say Hi or completely ignore him until he's ready? Not to say I will be single at that time but should I stay in touch with him? Please help!
We are doing everything that one would in a relationship, we kiss and cuddle and are somewhat sexual (dry stuff), but he isn't ready for a relationship bc "I just got out of a bad one." I don't want to loose him but I don't want to be used by him to fulfill his sexual needs.
p.s..... I lost a heap of weight and she stayed obese - maybe that was the reason - jealousy Thats the only thing i can think of that I might have done that hurt her - I didnt think me getting pretty would make her jealous - you see I am hurting. I will never see her again, shes now unconcious crying-crying-crying Thank you for reading xxx
Marie Dubuque Thank you for your quick response.. I guess you are right. She also has stopped contact with a few family members, including her own son. God rest her soul
I was talking to this one girl who is two grades below me and a year younger than me for 2 months. She would let me know that I meant a lot to her we talked on the phone 24/7 and she would tell me that she was attracted to me. Went on the first date, went well but afterwards she said she just wanted to be friends when I wanted much more. A couple weeks passed where I didn't talk to her and she tells me she misses me so we start talking again once school starts back up. She does the same thing as last time. Leads me on to believing she actually likes me. I ask her to homecoming, met her mom, and spent as much time as possible. Then after 2 weeks she said that wasn't ready for commitment and only wanted to go as friends so I told her that we probably shouldn't go as friends since I felt differently about her. Now she has found a replacement who is I feel like she really downgraded and is now showing him off on social media as if they were talking but she said in the first place that she wasn't ready for commitment. What should I do?
AfricanAtheist nothing, fuck her. she was talking to that boy the whole time she was talking to you probably even before you. and she could have even started talking to you to get his attention. go for older girls bro they dont play games they know what they want its so much better and zero stress.
Alright well first of all if someone is trying to play "hard to get" they need to move on immediately because the other person isn't attracted to them. If a person likes you, then they like you. If they don't, maybe they will down the road but playing hard to get is ridiculous game for children and a waste of time. Now I don't know exactly what you're trying to accomplish here, but if a girl or guy says "I'm not looking for a relationship" then for the love of Christ take it at face value. They could be getting over a long-term relationship, trying to get good grades, focus on hobbies, etc. and by you saying that's not what they mean is invalidating their feelings and their intentions... And that's pretty damn rude. In fact, your comments below pretty much contradicts everything you've said in this video and you need to stop using biased opinions that you don't even mean. Making them think "sorry, that ship's failed" isn't gonna give them hope or make them appreciate you more. They'll think that you're not interested and they'll move on. People are gonna take things at face value unless they over think things INCREDIBLY hard and in that case they probably suffer from Erotomanic disorder and should consult a doctor. So please stop feeding information to people that doesn't correspond with reality and have a nice day.
JesusBagels And if a girl doesn't like you the same way you like her you just shouldn't hang out with her anymore?? Bullshit if I like a girl I'm gonna hang out with her either way!! This is such a blatantly discouraging video! And rude, I agree with you...
I have to disagree. I hate this assertion that someone is automatically not interested because they say or are thinking this. Maybe I am the minority, but I faced a situation where I knew the girl was interested, but it wasn't a good time to try dating her. A year later when some of my issues has been addressed, I was more ready, but things were awkward, so I left well enough alone.
I feel the same the guy I like was rejected by someone he liked earlier this year, but we both went out for my first date that same month. Even though he's with a woman she isn't a part of his life and says he isn't ready for a serious relationship he does show interest but he doesn't know me very much yet. So I'm giving him his space he also has issues to address and other things. He knows I love him though.
I have to disagree too! Just asked my chrush out and she told me she's too young for a relationship. I'm currently in the ⛔️Friendzone⛔️and I think I'm going to stay friends until next year and make a move after that. Wish me luck! PS: a dislike from me
Marie Dubuque. What if she has never been in a relationship, and she tell you that? Like she says she is not interested in dating right now. Cause there is this friend I like, and all her friends are always telling me she likes me, but when I try to ask her she gets nervous and says that. I feel like I did something wrong. I mean I do see how she acts around me like figity, likes to flirt with me, and is always there for me when she sees how depressed I can be. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to leave her I've come so far.
what if her reason for not being ready for a relationship is because she can't understand/handle herself or she just want to find herself..,should I wait for her?
My crush told me she wanted to start talking to me but later on told me that she feels as if she’s too young to date anyone, including me but we’re similar ages, surely this means that it’s not a case of her not being interested in me
hi Marie, i met a guy online about a month ago. he told me pretty much from day one he wasn't looking for a relationship, probably 6+ months out from that. he posted in the platonic section, so it's not like i was expecting anything, was just looking for a friend. we chatted and texted every few days for about 3 weeks before cuddling up to a movie on the couch. cuddling lead to more, but no sex. he messaged 3 days later to ask how my weekend was. the next day, i told him i felt kind of cheap and he apologized, saying it wasn't his intention. he told me he is not looking for a commitment, he is not able to be in a relationship right now. i guess what he really wants is a friend with benefits. (he seems kind of lonely, really.) i told him i couldn't handle that without getting attached. we haven't talked since, it's been 2 days. should i just forget about him?
hazel grace I would..for now. Stay in touch, because you never know. But clearly he is going through some stuff now and really wouldn't be there for you.
A girl who I'm casual friends with who broke up with her boyfriend 3weeks ago, said to me "She's not ready and she doesn't know me that much "but she still writes me and she came over to sleep at my place what could this be?
Hey Marie, I got a question for! Recently I've started going out with this girl, but we are not "official". However she once was in a non-official relationship a few months back before she met me and she did end up making out with someone else, but the guy she "made out with" was trying to force his tongue down her throat so she was really not suppose to kiss her. Would you consider that as cheating and would you trust her? The reason why I'm asking is because I don't want to be cheated on again (has happened twice in my life with two different girls), she says that she really likes me a lot and wants things to work between the two of us (not that I got mad at her when she told me this). Thanks for reading and hopefully you may be able to respond back again (video or text, doesn't matter).
Movie, she is a cheater. And I truly think that is a hard pattern to break, no matter who she is with. Be very, very careful. And no, I wouldn't trust her at all.
HI Marie, thanks for all the advice you have given me it was thoughtful and wise. I have a question, what can I do to stop feeling heartbroken when my girlfriend goes away. When she is around me I feel so happy, but soon she goes back to her place and I just get depressed. We are planning to move in with one another soon, I just feel sad cause I only get to see her ( with our work days so different) maybe twice a week. She knows this and seems fine...maybe I'm not strong enough or Maybe I'm too depended on her company? I don't know... Thanks in advance.
Isaac, you are too dependent on her. You need to have your own life as well. I understand you want to be with her all the time, and that's great. But you should also develop your own interests apart from her. And don't live together! Wait until you are engaged. But don't propose yet either. You need to be single for a while and living on your own, and prove your own independence.
this isnt true at all, met a girl who got cheated and she wasnt ready to date anyone not just me and she had even told her friends that she liked me, then a few months later after she had time to heal we started to date , sooo guys watching this dont give up hope
Dear Marie your video is amazing. There`s this girl I met and we started dating about 3 Months ago and what happened was this she just got out of a relationship 3 Months before we started dating. So the 3 months was really amazing for both and she herself couldn`t stop being all over me and kept telling me she loves me but I informed her it`s too early to call it love (maybe that was where I was wrong). So what happened was she went on vacations and we had a little misunderstanding and a break up. After she returned from vacations we had a little chat how things will go on further and of a sudden she said we were not meant to date each other. She said I'm the man of her dreams, the man that has given her what no one else ever did and that she wants me but she`s not ready for me and can`t give me what I want. She said she doesn't want to break up and she isn't sure about what she's doing at the moment was right. Can you please help me here!
Mels definitely distance yourself a little bit. Because if you try harder, you will just look clingy. You've got to play a little hard to get so that she wonders, "What's up with him?"
Marie Dubuque What if she starts texting asking me if I'm fine and i respond with good and u and she replies "Im happy for you and I'm good thank you" and the she doesn't text no more. Does that means i should confront her or just move on?
Hi Marie, I've just found you. I've approached a lady tonight who I've been texting every now and then. I catch her looking at me very often and once I look at her she reacts with smiles. I told her I wanted to know her better and that I would like to meet up some time. I also told her that the small Interactions we've had made me admire and being curious about her (my mistake maybe??) She's an introvert. Well, even though I felt like she was sending good signals, she gave me a very odd answer. She said it makes sense to hangout to get to know each other better, but that she noticed I was very focused on that (I was like, seriously?) Then she said that she was not as focused as I was(?). Well, I told her: listen, I'll try to make things simpler for you... "I just want you to know that I'm interested in knowing you better, but if you don't think it makes sense, just say no and we both save time and energy. If you think that we can have a chance at becoming more personal, let's just start hanging out." Lol she said she would like to meet up some time, but for me to keep my heart safe (haha). Well, actually, she's not the only girl I'm interested in, but somehow she concluded that because I approached her I was really invested on her. I insisted: you don't need to do something you are not comfortable with, I don't need you to hangout with me if you are not interested. Well, she repeated that we could meet up sometime but that I could also look at other girls (wth!) then she started to look at her schedule to see when she would be available then I interrupted her and said that I needed to go and she could let me know later. Seriously, I almost told her to forget what I'd just said. Marie, how do you read this situation?
Okay I have a weird situation like this somewhat. We worked together, and she shows all signs of interest. She has the idea that I'm a player and I know that's the big reason she is pushing back. We went out three days ago finally after I chased for awhile(which she said five times she thought was kind of awesome). We talked for three hours, she played with her hair, touched my knee, licked lips, laughed at dumb jokes. All of the things that are clear indicators. It ended with her hugging me and pulling me in and a very good kiss that left her clearly happy. Then...she text me an hour later continuing the convo, then suddenly when I mention trying something next week she's back to not ready to date. She has this idea in her head still that I am a player(and I'm not, but I can understand it because I dated a lot when we worked together). I also think she is subconscious about herself because she's asked me 3 times why I like her. So I'm stuck at an in pass here. I know she has interest. She answers text, she did finally agree and had a blast with me. But I don't know how to break this wall she has up. Now my sisters all agreed that aggressively showing her she truly is someone I want may be the best way to go here. I did make a big play in sending flowers for her birthday to her at work they arrive tomorrow along with a little gift attached that was something she liked months ago and may impress her that I remembered. So am I working a lost cause her? I'm not desperate; I am attractive, have a good job, and am confident in myself. But I've let girls go in the past that I truly liked because of fear of rejection, and I can't do it again. Holy crap that was long.
Hey Marie, your opinions are truly wonderful and relatable. I've known this girl for about 6 months, we've been hanging out a lot, and I always felt she liked me, and we get along very well. I liked her from the beginning. She's a very shy, introverted girl and I always treated her with dignity. She and I both seemed to be the long-term types. So after about 12-15 'unofficial dates' I finally told her I like her, to which I got the 'not ready for anyone' answer, and left it open-ended by saying she'll let me know when she 'figures out herself'. She said she values me greatly, and feels comfortable opening up about herself, which is very difficult for someone like her. Do I have a chance at all?
Hi there, look I have a question. I had a date with this girl. We had the most amazing time, she said she cares about me, she said she likes me but she also says she is not ready, that she wants to go to many places with me before actually try something. What do you think about my situation? Am I losing my time? Should I keep trying?
Hey Marie, it looks like you really care about your viewers in your videos. Also It's also cool how you respond to a lot of questions. I had an experience of my own and thought it might not completely fall under the same category discussed in this video. If you gave me your opinion I'd really appreciate it. Mind you we're both teenagers so immaturity could definitely play a part in this. I had been talking with this girl daily for months and we both admitted to liking each other. However, she said that she "tends to push people away" and that she wasn't ready for a relationship. I enjoyed her friendship as well so I tried to respect that and stay friends. When we hung out it felt like a date though. Our body language and attitudes basically reflected people who were interested in one another. After that we started to talk romantically and things were going well. We were both busy during the end of the school year so I told her we didn't have to rush things. We could just wait until the summer and see where it goes. We didn't talk for about a week and I asked her why she didn't just say hi or something even if she was busy, considering I had finished my year before her and wanted to leave her alone to focus. She acted completely disinterested and a bit rude, replying with one word or not at all. I guess looking back, it might have seemed a little needy to check up on her.. I just missed her considering we spoke everyday for so long. After that incident, I decided to just give her space completely because I've learned not to chase people in the past. We didn't talk for 3 weeks and then I noticed she deleted me on the social media connections we had etc. Confused and hurt, I tried to call her but she didn't respond. I left her a long text basically giving the most formal goodbye I could give since she really just decided to cut me off. Anyway it's been months since this happened. It's not that I'm emotionally attached or something, I'm just curious to know why she did what she did or acted the way she did. People have told me it's probably just immaturity or hormones but I feel like there should be a better explanation. If you actually read this all, thank you haha! I'd really appreciate your feedback :)
xiKryptoniteHD I think she got nervous that the friendship was heading towards becoming a serious relationship, and she got really nervous. So, I would forget that she deleted you. What's more important is how she treats you when she sees you face to face. Just start by saying hi, and smiling when you see her, and then start short conversations and see how that goes. Slowly try to build the friendship back up.
Marie Dubuque Ah thank you! The only problem with that is we don't go to the same schools. I'm not sure if it would be effective trying to text her again after she didn't respond to all my attempts to get an answer right after she deleted me. Unfortunately that's my only means of getting back in touch with her so it can't exactly happen "naturally" or in person. What do you think?
Thank you for the wise words because I really needed to hear this or else I would probably just wait around for a girl that either lost interest or had a mistaken interest that was an accident ad nobody should be or feel like just an accident!
Hey Marie, great video, a quick question, I've liked a girl for about 4 months, we've not proposed to each other yet, but we've kissed, she's madly in love with me now, but I'm confused and feel that I really like her but, its hard to say if I love her and I need some time to accept things(if I ever feel the same way like she does for me) and get serious. What do you think is the nest thing for me to do at the moment? TIA. peace :)
This isn't true, at least not in my case. I had to tell a girl I really really like that i'm not ready last night because i'm just not ready. I'm a single father who currently needs to prioritize some stability for me and my son before i let myself get too emotionally involved with a woman. It's not easy telling someone you could see a future with that you're not ready because now i might not get that chance with her again. Sucks
I am watching all your videos right now and I am really happy to have found them. I was listening to what you were saying here and I have a question. I met a person and we are in a long distance "thing" - because I can't call it relationship (because she said we can't call it like this). I really care about the person, but i noticed that she doesn't care so much (I mean - the person is there, but not so much with cute-nice-lovers-messages or talks) - so I took some time off from messaging her and checking her facebook and all that. I am feeling like: "okay - if you are not interested in me and you don't want to have more than just a "thing" with me - well - I guess you don't like me that much, but you don't want to say it directly". Do you think I do the right thing with this?
alex, I would let this go completely. She only wants to be friends and you can do so much better. And long distance doesn't really work anyway, even if both people are committed. Honestly, she is doing you a favor. This won't work.
Hi Marie, thank you for the reply. If you said to wait for her i'll follow your advice. But can you tell me like how many days, weeks or months should i wait? This is the 13th day of not texting or communicating with her. I go for more details i ask a friend to add her on facebook. My friend tried to convince her to give me more chance but she keeps saying that "SHE TRIED but will not work cos she don't like me" I've been seenzone by her too before she blocked me (To be honest she only unfriended me but i dare her to block me if she don't want a communication between us then suddenly just a min or something she blocked me ) the thing is when my friend chatting with her she is replying but why not on me? Btw i consulted 2 girls (my sister and a friend) They said she just want a PAST TIME that why she agreed to make out with me. Should i consider what they said too? Your advice will be a great help!
![ตีสิบเดย์ [FULL] | เปิดใจ "อาจารย์ เบียร์ ฅนตื่นธรรม" นักสนทนาธรรมสายดุดัน!](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vqaBI_mnoDk/mqdefault.jpg)
As soon as you said "that means hes not interested in you" my heart literally sank 😢
Hana Ahmad same :(
same
Hana Ahmad omg mine too
Hana Ahmad yes me too
Hana Ahmad Hey guys do i have a chance is because she Said it before But i havent talk to her only write to her and i dont fort balls to it But i dont know if i have a chance
This is so true. People WILL MAKE TIME AND MOVE THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES if you are the right person. Schedules and not being ready are a poor excuse and that person doesn’t care enough to be honest with you.
I disagree right now I am not in the right place for a relationship and even if I met my dream guy I think that's what I would tell him. Sometimes people have issues in their life they need to deal with before they involve more people in their life intimately.
thanks for giving me hope!
Adrian He/She is not giving you hope they are just telling you how they THINK they feel
xxdeadgirlxx16 there is a girl I'm talking to she is the same way
xxdeadgirlxx16 bs
That’s complete bs and I 5 years later I hope you realize that. If your dream guy came along I would bet my life savings on it that you would not pass him up. Everyone has issues in their life. Everyone has problems. When the right one comes along, you deal with them and figure out the relationship as you go. That’s how life is.
I have to disagree with this advice. It may be correct but not always. Sometimes not being ready for a relationship means that you are in fact interested in the person but you just want to get to know them a bit better before you agree to a relationship. When people have had previous relationships that didn't go so well in the past, it's only natural that they won't be quick to agree to a relationship and I'm speaking from personal experience. It's only fair to both parties that you both take the time to get to know each other before you agree to a relationship. And yes that usually includes sleeping with each other on a non-committed basis first.
Best advice.
My heart just blew into a million pieces
What?
loogle Ok what you said it mad feel litter better thank you 👏
loogle totally agree with you
It's different for different people...some people know that when they love they love hard. Usually those kind of people end up being hurt the most. If you're tired of being hurt you're not going to jump into relationships after that. U could very well be interested and not ready. The guard is up and will stay up until they're ready... moral of the story is it doesn't always mean rejection. Sometimes it's for protection
Well...this is depressing there goes my hopes and dreams.
This is a tricky situation. I agree with what Marie has to say for the most part. I have been on the losing end before and because I got so tired of chasing, I gave up on someone completely and started traveling and posting pics with all these girls on Facebook. What ended up happening is because I stopped pursuing her she had time to digest everything. She ended up practically begging me to get with her and I actually had to think about it before I said yes. Moral of the story, less is more. In the beginning of a relationship, try your best to not text or call someone too much. If there is a question that warrants a response then provide them with an answer and don't play games. However, try to lay back from meaningless conversation in between dates. We've all been there... we've all been on the chasing end. -Anonymous
Can I just say I loved this video ... It was a harsh reality watching it but thank you, it's happened to me quite a few times lately but as you said I'm not dumb enough to believe if you really like someone you wouldn't wanna be with them . Thank You x
this video was like 5years ago but thank you
I hope you see this
It's a way of letting you off easy. They don't want to be involved with you. If they loved you, they'd want to be in a relationship in a heartbeat!
alexis, just be her friend for now. If she starts dating someone else, that's a different story. She clearly likes you, but isn't ready for a relationship. And that's OK!
I've been talking to someone that is about 2 months out of a marriage where the other person cheated and told them they didn't love them when things got rough. They told me they like me a lot but can't start a relationship until they are happy with themselves. Should I bother trying to pursue this down the road or just let them go? We've only been talking about 3 weeks.
Thank you for this it has truly open my eyes
Never be a womans friend if you have crush on her.. she is disrespecting you by keeping you hanging around..the time you hang around her you could try to find a better woman.
Yo what does it mean if a girl rejects you but says your very sweet does she like you but is not interested in a relationship with you
Thanks! I asked this girl out before but she said I am not looking for a relationship AND SHE GOES AND DATES A SENIOR WHO IS AN ATHLETE! SHE LIED TO ME!
This is pretty good advice, and I had already started backing off from someone I thought things were progressing with. We've been seeing eachother for about 1 month, and I thought this had potential, but then she gave the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line, and it really bummed me out. So, I pretty much am letting her contact me, I went on a trip this weekend by myself and didn't invite her, and it's funny how now she's contacting me all the time and inviting me over her place. It's a strange situation to be in because I really like her and want something more, but I have to consciously stay backed off. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up honestly, haha. I sort of wear my heart on my sleeve, so it's tough being aloof around her.
It doesn't apply to the majority of guys but it does apply to emotional guys like me who take rejection very personally, thank you for this video.
I totally agree. I've always been a "commitment-phobe" but when the guy I'm currently dating came around, I realised I was never really 'not ready' for commitment, I'd just never found anyone worth committing to. In any scenario, if it's the right person, you'll be together.
That’s not always the case. When I found the right one, I realized I didn’t have to settle and I decided to move on. I met another man who is my husband. Other women however are committed to being single for the rest of their lives and may have come to the realization that they are happier and at peace remaining single.
Dang, "she is not whe she thinks she is in your eyes", that hits 💯
Thanks for the advice. I heard "im not ready for a relationship" from her. I know what not to do now. Thank you Marie.
I have to watch these videos regular for strength : (
Me too
Me too
Hey Marie! I was the one who wanted you to make this video two years ago after I basically got rejected after going on a date and he told me "he wasn't ready for a relationship" we were co workers and still are funny thing is two years later we started talking and then began dating, it's almost been a year now for us and we always laugh about the time he told me that and he told me he was in a weird place in his life at that point and just didn't think about dating. I just think it's funny how things work out because things just happened and never thought it would go like it did but I'm so glad because he's such a great guy! Two years later and I still thank you for this video.
Cajox, you have really grown in the past two years, I can tell.
Thank you so much for this. I got those words just today on our first date. I feel miserable and pretty much worthless at this point. But your video helped a little
I was dating my boyfriend for 3 years and he just broke up with me on Sunday saying he wasn't ready. It hurt me so bad
3 years is pretty long time to realize that. But how are you doing now when other three years has passed?
@@vop4813 to conclude, I'm still struggling mentally to love myself and learn how to make friends again(which has been difficult because of covid and my first year of college being online in 2020).
Overall, my mental health has been so much better without him in my life. I hate that i have days where i miss him and being able to talk to him, but i think it's ok to have those days considering we grew up together.
I Giggly, it worries me that he wants to find someone else more "compatible." What he is really saying is that he will date you until he find someone better. That is inexcusable. You are a great catch and he should feel lucky he is with you. That is what the man of your dreams will feel like. Not sure if he is it, unless he changes his tune very quickly.
Marie Dubuque hey can I talk to you
It’s actually bad when your crush is you’re coworker.
Holy crap. I don't usually go in for hyperbole, but this was the smartest thing I've ever been told about this situation and I wish I'd heard it years ago the first time it happened to me. You have saved my stupid little heart, and at the very least you saved me a few months of heartache. (I mean, yeah, it's still going to hurt, but not hearing this would have made it so much worse.)
Thank you.
Guillaume de Machaut so glad I could help. You made my day!
I’m the one who isn’t ready for a relationship. I love him but I don’t even love myself . I’m a really insecure person and know im still on my own journey to love myself. If I love myself by being with him . Then when if I loose him. I might fall apart.that’s what im afraid of. Not because I don’t like him. I am interested, so interested i don’t want to mess up my chance.
So sad that everyone is in the comments asking the same general question that the video is even about. If someone is telling you they're not ready for relationship, no matter what the fluff surrounding it is (he/she says this, etc) actions speak louder than words. If you want a relationship, or some sort of commitment and they're not giving that to you- move on. Find someone who will people !!! Or just work on loving yourself so that you can attract the right people for you. Xo
+Sydney Dively exactly, thank you!
I totally agree!! It doesn't matter how much they tell you how awesome/attractive/fun you are, or even if they still flirt with you, they are simply NOT interested (or interested enough) in you to want to commit to you, if they tell you they're "not ready." Even down the road, if they suddenly claim they're "ready," how do you know that they're just not settling for you? Kick them to the curb, and move on to people who actually DO want to be with you, and won't waste your time!
Yes!!!!
Correct. They'd be with you in a heartbeat. They wouldn't say that stuff to begin with.
I totally agree with you Sydney Dively.
Many times people say they don't want to be in a relationship, because they don't want to loose a good friend. And the good friend wants more.
If you wants to be friend with this person who is not ready, be friends at distance. Don't contact this person. Let him or her contact you. Let this person chasing you. This person already know you wants more. Don't sit there and hoping for more. Because you will get hurt really bad. Most of the times, it will not be more. Live your life.
It's better moving on and go on dates with others. Waiting and waiting will hurt a lot. Even more than before.
Im basically in love with and he's like I'm not ready for a relationship right now but I have feelings for u I'm like wtf yea I'm cutting my ties as much as it hurts:(
Hi Marie,
I went to look for exactly this kind of videos, for these words, and I want to thank you because I'm in a situation that is practically the kind you're picturing, and your speech is helping me, a lot, I'm processing this whole thing and being confused I really could use these wise words. Thank you again!
Marie Dubuque is one of the best experts in women's issues. Chapeau
I'v been messaging a woman for a few weeks, and we have been bouncing off each other really well. I spoke with her a couple of times before we eventually meet up. Everything is great on a day out. Cuddles and little kisses on the blanket in the sunshine, fed me strawberries...All th signs are looking good, and when I get back she messages " really enjoyed the day and your company but don't "think" I'm ready for a relationship...I really struggled today as you could tell" - I've returned a sympathetic message an backed off for a few days.
I'm actually confused as to why so many people think these so called "rules" apply to every situation in dating. I dated a girl for a year who said she didn't like me and wasn't ready for a relationship with me.
Hello, Marie, I'm with this girl now. she's the girl of my dreams. But she has just been through an emotional breakup with her ex,so she's going through a hard time now. And I'm just trying my best to be there for her at all times.
After few weeks later, she told me that while she was in a relationship with her ex, she has always liked me in a special way. And she always questioned her relationship and thought about being with me, but she didn't because she knew it was wrong since she was committed in a relationship.
She knows how I really feel about her and she admits that the connection we share is really real and rare. After the past few weeks, she told me my advances are working and she's tempted to be with me, but she's still trying to be single at the moment.
And after some deep thinking, she told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now.
What does she mean? Do I really have a chance?or she's just not that into me?
I went on 4 dates with this girl, she was in a relationship for 5 years which she got out of almost a year ago. We would text throughout the day and tell each other how much we liked each other. She had made me meet her family on our first date and ever since then she always told me how much her family loved me. I told her I had a dream asking her father for approval to date her, and she said you definitely have his approval. She was totally into me. One day about a week ago I called her because she didn't message me for a whole day. I asked if she was losing interest, and she said I had nothing to worry about, that she's just busy with school work and her job, and she asked me if I was available to go out on a date within a couple of days. The morning of the day we were supposed to go out, she called me and said that she really likes me but that she isn't ready for a relationship. Any advice?
If she's not interested in me that's her decision and must be respected that doesn't mean that she's not good enough for me
Ive been seeing this guy for almost 6 months. We hang out every week and get along great. I've started to develop deep feelings for him, which he knows. Every time we see each other he tells me he really cares about me, has feelings for me, etc. but isn't ready to be in a relationship because of his past. I don't get it!
Courtney, I would treat him as simply a friend and meet other people. You've got to listen to him when he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Whatever the reason, you need to move on. And probably, that is the exact time when he will show interest in you. But by then, you may have met someone really great...and it probably won't be him.
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I don't hope ever she would be coming back, even for a text.
I was on a deeply committed relationship with this girl, but she would always dump me, or be kind of mean to me, while I was always trying my best to be the best possible man that I could offer to her, literally supporting her every step of the way on anything she wanted I was there to have her back and hold her if she fell.. recently she broke off with me again in a very cold manner saying she was not ready for a relationship, but that it hurt her because she loved me. but that she had dreams and things she wanted to experience. I will be honest here because that really broke me. I'm doing what I can to stay strong and not call her, because she really has no tact regarding my feelins.
you still here? anyone still here?
i do have this kind of attitude towards her - take it or leave it. right? she's not ready for a relationship and enjoys being single. got out of a (very rocky) relationship a month or two ago, and isn't too interested in love or romance. she jumps back and forth with her ideas towards love and her ex, me, or a potential 3rd person (a person who doesn't exist in her life but might). i watched them fall apart, piece by piece, and it was messy.
we decided to do a "month together" plan. we were together for a month when she was in the city, and it was lovely for both of us. we're talking everything from sex to dates to just hanging out, studying togheter. we're extremely emotionally close and aren't afraid to say it straight to each other. sometimes she'll refer to my (and our) future as if i'll meet another girl, sometimes she wants to be that girl. right now her headspace doesn't seem to be in the right place.
based on action alone, i know she cares deeply for me and loves me. yet, hearing things like, "i can't love you the way i loved him", and "i feel like something is missing" is destroying my self-esteem and making me anxious. she's only said those things twice, and i could tell she was in pain while saying them. on one hand, i know those are genuine feelings and i need to distance myself a bit (which i am doing and have done), but also that they're reliant on the "right now", and who knows how she'll feel in the future, once all this disappointment with love clears up. we "broke up", but she couldn't help herself but to hold my hand and look into my eyes in that way. we've been enjoying a good friendship.
i'm ridiculously confused and not specifically holding out for her, but god i hope we'll be together one day, for real. i guess time will tell if it's me, or her. if she dates another dude, i'll know it was me. if not, it was just her, and the whole "timing" thing was legit. sometimes her future vision is just her, earning money and raising animals, sometimes it's with a loving husband (who knows who that is?), sometimes it's this way or that. i can tell she's confused, too.
i think it is legit, because it's not like the other times girls have said this to me. in the past, i have immediately given up, because i knew it meant they didn't care. but with her, it doesn't feel that way. either way, i can't wait to continue our friendship and see where it goes, regardless of whether or not my dream comes true.
Thanks ! She can have me , we are 50 ish she is way out of my league professionally , financially. But she was very friendly & then next day apologised for being too friendly & said she doesn’t want a relationship. Totally shocked me OK . Days later . I explained I didn’t think this as I’m a rat bag knife maker & she very high professional. She chuckled To my surprising, she likes knives & started to tease . I feel a real connection. After speaking for 45 seconds . I just think wow your gorgeous . Can you make sense of this. Thanks CHRISTOPHER
Guys...you can do it...all of it comes from stress and maybe your wrong behaviour with her...tell her and be yourself and be yourself but better and Not so pushy and needy...it will be ok
Dont listen to her
There was this girl at work who I could tell liked me. Ive caught her staring at me on a couple occasions then she blushes and looks down at the ground. She finds ways to be with me and whenever I talk to other girls she always appears and tries to be the center of attention. She purposely bumps in to me in a flirty way and she asks me personal questions like what my favourite films are. So she OBVIOUSLY likes me basically. I told her that I really liked her but she says she doesnt want to get into anything with ANYONE and that she doesnt want a relationship at this stage of her life. I am SO confused and need some advice. I aslo have been in love with this girl since the day I first met her which is what makes this VERY painful.
Me and this girl are really close, and i have feelings for her and she likes me to. Shes really worried that if we date and it ends badly, it will ruin our friendship. I feel that i want it more than she wants it. I try to play hard to get but whenever i see her or see her number in my phone i cant help but text her. I ask her if she wants to do something, and she seems open to it but then cancels at the last minute. She is very pretty but not like drop dead gorgeous, and i honestly like her mostly for her personality, and she trusts me with everything.
I think it could actually be that they're not ready. Because I'm genuinely not ready and I tell people that.
I really needed this, thank you!!
Hi Marie.
I posted a while ago (I'm sure you remember the username) and said that after much difficulty and me ending the friendship I was in with her, the girl I am in love with asked me out a day later saying she "wants to go on a date with me" and "test the waters". We went on a date, and it went well! You said that it seemed to go well and were happy for me. She even introduced me to her parents, and they loved me! Anyway, a few days after the date (due to lack of contact it being Christmas time), I surprised the girl at work with hot chocolate and she loved the gesture saying that her coworkers "aren't used to me liking boys" via text later that night (basically confirming she liked me!) She even kissed me on the way out when she walked me out! (albeit on the cheek, but I've never kissed a girl before). Anyway, I give her a Christmas Gift a few days later (something she knew about and it, without going into too much detail) was a relic of our unique shared past (if you remember from my previous post, it was a stuffed animal trophy we went against for in elementary school, which I won. She was my opponent in a "current event" competition grade wide. We were in the finals and I won. So I gave her the animal [pristine condition] and printed and framed the articles we used, which I spent days searching for). Anyway, everyone I talked to said that it was the sweetest and nicest gift anyone has ever heard of and she will "swoon" over it.
That night, she calls me saying that I am the nicest, sweetest, most thoughtful guy she's ever met, but she doesn't have time for a boyfriend and isn't ready. She broke my heart, but she said she still really wanted to be friends. I said like last time, I couldn't be just friends because I love her too much (I didn't use the word "love" with her, I'm not an idiot haha), so I ended the friendship, expecting to never hear from her again. I went into a bit of depression for the next two months (starting when I ended our friendship in December) until now (mid february). No contact at all. I blocked her on Facebook, removed traces of her, etc. She called a week later saying she found the hidden note I put in the framed articles (the gift) and said that she didnt' feel right keeping the animal from me. So I go to her house for a minute, take back my animal (it was very courteous and nice) and leave, saying it was good to see her. Anyway, to modern day, I was starting to get a bit better and move on (I still loved her, and had zero ambition to meet or pursue anyone else, but I wasn't sad really about it anymore). I had zero contact with her
Until three days ago. She showed up at my workplace with a friend to visit me unexpectedly. I was surprisingly fine around her. Treating her like generally anyone else. She randomly asked what I'm doing for valentines say. I said working, she said that she'd come visit so "I'm not alone on Valentine's Day". We make small talk (it being not awkward at all) and her and her friend leave. 45 minutes later, they come back (apparently never leaving the store) and she is stammering and awkwardly asking if I would "still hang out with her", because she is "showing potential interest and wants to see where it goes". I said "sure" very neutrally, like I didn't care. She said I was very chill about it and her friend said that "I'm surprised you didnt' hear us. We spent these 45 minutes thinking of how to ask you and what do say if you said no". I asked "Like a script?" My love interest agreed. So at this time, it's closing time at my workplace, so I walk them out. I noticed that (A) she was starring at me a lot and (B) there was a lot of... sexual tension when she went for the last hug goodbye. We decided we'd talk about it a bit more.
She texts me that night saying she "didn't want to confuse me and wanted to make her intentions clear" which they aren't. I said "we'll talk about it a bit more and see where it goes". She agreed. So, apparently she's coming to work to visit me on Valentine's Day.
Basically what I'm asking Marie is I WANT to give her a second chance... I still love her so much. And it's not like we "broke up" and she wants a second chance. But I refuse to go into it if she is just "maybe I like you and want to TRY" again. That's not worth it to me, so if/when we talk about this, I'm asking "What's Changed?" and "why now?" essentially. As well as "I need to know exactly what your feelings to me are, and what you expect and want from this". Does this all make sense? Basically, I want to see if she is genuinely interesting or is doing this for my attention again. If it's the latter, fuck her. I refuse to go through with that and it will be easy knowing she's a manipulative, horrible person for doing that to me. But if NOT, then hurray fro me, she came around.
I want to see if she will put the same amount of effort into this that I would if it's what she wants (50-50). I mean to me, she HAD to have a reason to come back to see me, right? I mean, she wouldn't do all this and LITERALLY prepare and bring a friend in to see me, if she was doing it for the hell of it. Whether the reason is in my favor or not, I'm not sure. That's what I aim to find out. So basically Marie, what do you think? Is this a good course of action? I am refusing any contact initiation. I am not doing anything, just so you know. And i have zero urge to do so as well. Again (as my friends said a long time ago), if a girl likes you, she will contact you and make time for you". I believe that. So Marie... any thoughts? I personally think I have a good course of action (I honestly want to say yes to her because I miss her so much, still love her, and want to be with her more than anything). But I guess I'll see how it goes, right?
Sorry Marie, to clarify a few things:
-Relating to her "visiting on Valentine's Day", it's not that SHE didn't want to be alone that day. The exact conversion went like this.
Her: So what are you doing for valentines day?
Me: a bit shocked by the question Me? Working
Her: Oh, that's so sad! I'll come visit so you're not alone on Valentine's day!
----
Also, I do want to give her a second chance. I never stopped loving her during those two months (and, I'm sure you think it's pathetic, but) I still thought we were meant to be together. I had no ambition to pursue anyone else either. (And it's not like I didn't try. I got more numbers. Some women even GAVE their number to me). But I just didn't have that immediate chemistry I had with this girl. So I really want to say yes, but I want her to basically Prove she is genuine to me (if that's what she is interested in.) I won't find out until I talk to her, but do you know of any ways I can ask or anything she can do or say to make it clear she does like me and wants this to work and isn't just "trying" or whatever?
If you really like this person, and you wants to be friend with her och him, then be friends. But be friends at distance. Don't contact this person. Let him or her contact you. Let this person chasing you. This person already know you wants more.
Because if you are a close friend with this person, hoping you will be together in the future, you can get hurt really bad.
It is possible this person are not ready for a relationship, and when ready wants to be with you. But you can not be sure. So be friends at distance. Live your life. Go out on dates with others. Hang out with friends, do something creative.
If it was me, I would cut the band with this person, if I was in love. So I don't get more hurt.
Waiting and waiting for someone, is the most painful you can do. Because the chances are not on your side.
Me and this guy chat for 5 or more..hours, almost everyday.. and have for about a month. When I asked how they felt they said they were not ready for a relationship. He said he was not saying, yes or no, just not now. He said I was pretty, because I asked him. Does this guy like me? He said he was not like most guys and he means what he says and he is not lying!
What if she says 'shes not looking for a relationship" but holds you, cuddles with you, acts like a girl friend? Sorry, i feel like such a wuss asking this. Thanks
pdawg1313, she is clearly sending you mixed signals...and playing games. I doubt she will change. You could stay friends with her, but don't expect anything more, because it won't happen. This is an ego trip for her.
I know how you feel.
Keep Smashing it and see where it goes while you talk to other girls.
George Is Straight Elite let her see you talk to other girls and have a good time it's her loss not yours
just add WITH YOU at the end. They're not ready for a relationship with you specifically.
when they say this it sometimes means they just cant be seeing themselves in a relationship.. it’s scary. kissing, doing all that new shot seems scary. sometimes you’ll probably get paranoid and end up ruining everything and it alls turns to trash :/
I was on a deeply committed relationship with this girl, but she would always dump me, or be kind of mean to me, while I was always trying my best to be the best possible man that I could offer to her, literally supporting her every step of the way on anything she wanted I was there to have her back and hold her if she fell.. recently she broke off with me again in a very cold manner saying she was not ready for a relationship, but that it hurt her because she loved me. but that she had dreams and things she wanted to experience. I will be honest here because that really broke me. I'm doing what I can to stay strong and not call her, because she really has no tact regarding my feelins. I saw her as the best girl ever and the most beautiful girl, but now I'm kind of feeling sad because I gave it my best. yet she did not care to appreciate every sacrifice I did. even tho she says I know you always helped me out and I appreciate that, but she actually says it in a tone like thanks but get over it. plus she tells me that I did it because I wanted to, no body asked me. i don't know what to think, I will appreciate your advice. thanks
I need help Marie, she said she likes me a lot and then she broke up with her ex and he hurt her a lot and then she told me that she isn't ready for a relationship. Was the timing bad? She said she meant it that she likes me a lot. She said that it would be the dream to attend the same college and I make her feel good inside and she smiles when I talk with her.
I'm not interested. That's what I would say. It's simple and clear.
What if someone says they aren't ready for a serious relationship, but you did not ask them this question? They voluntarily told you, but always asking questions about you. (NOTE: You and they are not dating.) Always around you and always comparing their self to want you're interested to. And they always give you strong eye contact but sometimes stare at some girls. This dude is confusing, but well, I am 8 years older than him.
Lonelyeco I think it is a defense mechanism on his part. Meaning he wants to have a serious relationship with you but is worried that you don't.
Oh. Strange. Others tell me though I shouldn't pursue men that are 18-20 though. But they are the only ones who approach me. My life is difficult. *head down* But thank you for this feedback.
This is exactly what I wanted to hear... But what does a guy do when she throws out "I like you, you make me happy, I don't want to spend time with anyone else, I have no other interest in anybody else but you"... That confuses me.
Thank you so much! This video really helped me out. It was pretty harsh seeing the reality but I guess their are better people out there for me and I shouldn't wait or try for one guy who is making an excuse, no guy with worth the wait!!! Thanks again
Thank You Marie Dubuque for this.! I appreciate your videos especially this one. I needed to hear this since I was rejected 3 days ago by my special someone. :)
My situation is, there is a girl I am very interested in.. She is fresh out of a 2 year marriage and she has a two year old, she is a great mother, and I love kids. Things aren't very serious, but I could see me and her going somewhere... However, I'm the middle of buying a house, and going back to school for an 8 week course that's 2 hours away from where I live for a better job.. But the job is in my home town where I am now. And i am legitimately not ready for a relationship while doing all of that. I feel like with everything else going on, it would put strain on the relationship, and potentially kill it before it has time to grow into anything.. I'm all for trials and tribulations, but I don't want to wreck it. She is also now a single mother, working full time, and going to school full time.. And it was a mutual decision that we both weren't ready for a relationship right now... I do want to date her, just not right now because I think that's best.. Not because I'm not interested? So I'm confused.. Did I just accidentally friend zone this awesome girl?
Blane Grinsted why don't you see each other when you can? Tell her what you just told me. Make it a goal to see each other once a month as friends and see what develops.
She wasnt ready
Thanks for the upload. I just received the following text: "I don't wanna loose you and I wish that I felt ready for something more but at the moment I'm not and that's nothing personal to you, be it with you or anyone but I honestly couldn't think of a nicer man to be with". What do you make of this, Marie? Thank you.
Dear Marie,
I was seeing a single mother exclusively for 2 months. I travel for work so in the back of both of our minds, we knew I would have to leave eventually when the job was done. However, we did everything together. She introduced me to her son and her mother. We both didn't want to commit to a relationship, but we had a very strong desire to see each other whenever possible. Over the course of time, with my work wrapping up on this site, she has distanced herself a lot from me. She doesn't text me as often or at all anymore. She has apologized for "hurting" me. Obviously, I know what the answer is now, but through course of time, would she ever be interested in me again? I did chase a little bit, basically, myself telling her i understand her position. I immediately stopped that but it's only been a few days since this has happened. I do miss her a lot. I've traveled for work over 4 years and really have not met anyone like her. Strange how things happen.
Also herself and I recently got out of serious relationships and kind of fell for each other too soon. Added detail for you. Any advice?
William Kempher I would really move on. I know it hurts, but the sooner the better. Start meeting new people. Sure, she could come around at some point, but don't wait around.
So I have a question, I meet this guy on an online dating site, texting and conversations effortless; I meet him for coffee and we really liked each other and he said that he didn't live in the same state but wanted to move to my state. He also said at the time that he would be interested in dating long distance and kissed me at this end of the date. The next day he texted me and said that he had been thinking and didn't feel that he could be in a relationship right now, I told him that that was fine and not to contact me anymore since he felt that way. Well the next morning he texted me and he said, "I don't want to delete your number because what if you are the woman I'm suppose to be with." But not right now, he needs time. Should I keep in touch with him and text once in awhile to say Hi or completely ignore him until he's ready? Not to say I will be single at that time but should I stay in touch with him? Please help!
We are doing everything that one would in a relationship, we kiss and cuddle and are somewhat sexual (dry stuff), but he isn't ready for a relationship bc "I just got out of a bad one." I don't want to loose him but I don't want to be used by him to fulfill his sexual needs.
CUT HIM LOOSE HE'S USING YOU. take it from a guy
p.s..... I lost a heap of weight and she stayed obese - maybe that was the reason - jealousy Thats the only thing i can think of that I might have done that hurt her - I didnt think me getting pretty would make her jealous - you see I am hurting. I will never see her again, shes now unconcious crying-crying-crying Thank you for reading xxx
lilchummmmmm so sorry for your loss. It is not your fault. Do not feel guilty. You did the best you could. You tried.
Marie Dubuque
Thank you for your quick response.. I guess you are right. She also has stopped contact with a few family members, including her own son. God rest her soul
I was talking to this one girl who is two grades below me and a year younger than me for 2 months. She would let me know that I meant a lot to her we talked on the phone 24/7 and she would tell me that she was attracted to me. Went on the first date, went well but afterwards she said she just wanted to be friends when I wanted much more. A couple weeks passed where I didn't talk to her and she tells me she misses me so we start talking again once school starts back up. She does the same thing as last time. Leads me on to believing she actually likes me. I ask her to homecoming, met her mom, and spent as much time as possible. Then after 2 weeks she said that wasn't ready for commitment and only wanted to go as friends so I told her that we probably shouldn't go as friends since I felt differently about her. Now she has found a replacement who is I feel like she really downgraded and is now showing him off on social media as if they were talking but she said in the first place that she wasn't ready for commitment. What should I do?
AfricanAtheist nothing, fuck her. she was talking to that boy the whole time she was talking to you probably even before you. and she could have even started talking to you to get his attention.
go for older girls bro they dont play games they know what they want its so much better and zero stress.
Alright well first of all if someone is trying to play "hard to get" they need to move on immediately because the other person isn't attracted to them. If a person likes you, then they like you. If they don't, maybe they will down the road but playing hard to get is ridiculous game for children and a waste of time. Now I don't know exactly what you're trying to accomplish here, but if a girl or guy says "I'm not looking for a relationship" then for the love of Christ take it at face value. They could be getting over a long-term relationship, trying to get good grades, focus on hobbies, etc. and by you saying that's not what they mean is invalidating their feelings and their intentions... And that's pretty damn rude. In fact, your comments below pretty much contradicts everything you've said in this video and you need to stop using biased opinions that you don't even mean. Making them think "sorry, that ship's failed" isn't gonna give them hope or make them appreciate you more. They'll think that you're not interested and they'll move on. People are gonna take things at face value unless they over think things INCREDIBLY hard and in that case they probably suffer from Erotomanic disorder and should consult a doctor. So please stop feeding information to people that doesn't correspond with reality and have a nice day.
JesusBagels And if a girl doesn't like you the same way you like her you just shouldn't hang out with her anymore?? Bullshit if I like a girl I'm gonna hang out with her either way!! This is such a blatantly discouraging video! And rude, I agree with you...
I have to disagree. I hate this assertion that someone is automatically not interested because they say or are thinking this.
Maybe I am the minority, but I faced a situation where I knew the girl was interested, but it wasn't a good time to try dating her.
A year later when some of my issues has been addressed, I was more ready, but things were awkward, so I left well enough alone.
I feel the same the guy I like was rejected by someone he liked earlier this year, but we both went out for my first date that same month.
Even though he's with a woman she isn't a part of his life and says he isn't ready for a serious relationship he does show interest but he doesn't know me very much yet.
So I'm giving him his space he also has issues to address and other things.
He knows I love him though.
I have to disagree too! Just asked my chrush out and she told me she's too young for a relationship. I'm currently in the ⛔️Friendzone⛔️and I think I'm going to stay friends until next year and make a move after that. Wish me luck!
PS: a dislike from me
This guy started to like me and said he is not ready for a relationship but wants to see me and hangout with me
Marie Dubuque. What if she has never been in a relationship, and she tell you that? Like she says she is not interested in dating right now. Cause there is this friend I like, and all her friends are always telling me she likes me, but when I try to ask her she gets nervous and says that. I feel like I did something wrong. I mean I do see how she acts around me like figity, likes to flirt with me, and is always there for me when she sees how depressed I can be. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to leave her I've come so far.
I told this girl that I'm not ready for a relationship because im actually not ready though. I like her, but Im just not ready
what if her reason for not being ready for a relationship is because she can't understand/handle herself or she just want to find herself..,should I wait for her?
Well, harsh truths .... I'm going through this right now.... I'll just take a back seat .. No chases
My crush told me she wanted to start talking to me but later on told me that she feels as if she’s too young to date anyone, including me but we’re similar ages, surely this means that it’s not a case of her not being interested in me
hi Marie,
i met a guy online about a month ago. he told me pretty much from day one he wasn't looking for a relationship, probably 6+ months out from that. he posted in the platonic section, so it's not like i was expecting anything, was just looking for a friend. we chatted and texted every few days for about 3 weeks before cuddling up to a movie on the couch. cuddling lead to more, but no sex. he messaged 3 days later to ask how my weekend was. the next day, i told him i felt kind of cheap and he apologized, saying it wasn't his intention. he told me he is not looking for a commitment, he is not able to be in a relationship right now. i guess what he really wants is a friend with benefits. (he seems kind of lonely, really.) i told him i couldn't handle that without getting attached. we haven't talked since, it's been 2 days. should i just forget about him?
hazel grace I would..for now. Stay in touch, because you never know. But clearly he is going through some stuff now and really wouldn't be there for you.
Oh my gosh! Why can't you be my mom! This is the best advice ever! Thank you so much!
Thank you so much Marie! its hard but i needed this!
A girl who I'm casual friends with who broke up with her boyfriend 3weeks ago, said to me "She's not ready and she doesn't know me that much "but she still writes me and she came over to sleep at my place what could this be?
I see it clear, you're absolutely right.
Hey Marie, I got a question for!
Recently I've started going out with this girl, but we are not "official". However she once was in a non-official relationship a few months back before she met me and she did end up making out with someone else, but the guy she "made out with" was trying to force his tongue down her throat so she was really not suppose to kiss her. Would you consider that as cheating and would you trust her?
The reason why I'm asking is because I don't want to be cheated on again (has happened twice in my life with two different girls), she says that she really likes me a lot and wants things to work between the two of us (not that I got mad at her when she told me this). Thanks for reading and hopefully you may be able to respond back again (video or text, doesn't matter).
Movie, she is a cheater. And I truly think that is a hard pattern to break, no matter who she is with. Be very, very careful. And no, I wouldn't trust her at all.
Thx you so much for your advices this is one of the best videos I have watch thx you very much
Really liked this video. Do you respond to questions Marie?
Steve, yes, go ahead and ask right here. I will do my best to help.
HI Marie, thanks for all the advice you have given me it was thoughtful and wise. I have a question, what can I do to stop feeling heartbroken when my girlfriend goes away. When she is around me I feel so happy, but soon she goes back to her place and I just get depressed. We are planning to move in with one another soon, I just feel sad cause I only get to see her ( with our work days so different) maybe twice a week. She knows this and seems fine...maybe I'm not strong enough or Maybe I'm too depended on her company? I don't know... Thanks in advance.
Isaac, you are too dependent on her. You need to have your own life as well. I understand you want to be with her all the time, and that's great. But you should also develop your own interests apart from her. And don't live together! Wait until you are engaged. But don't propose yet either. You need to be single for a while and living on your own, and prove your own independence.
This only applies to women. I really don't think guys try to pressure women into a relationship.
Donald J. Trump ye
Thank you so much and to lift up our Spirits we should tell ourself you are missing out .Be positive and happy
this isnt true at all, met a girl who got cheated and she wasnt ready to date anyone not just me and she had even told her friends that she liked me, then a few months later after she had time to heal we started to date , sooo guys watching this dont give up hope
Dear Marie your video is amazing.
There`s this girl I met and we started dating about 3 Months ago and what happened was this she just got out of a relationship 3 Months before we started dating.
So the 3 months was really amazing for both and she herself couldn`t stop being all over me and kept telling me she loves me but I informed her it`s too early to call it love (maybe that was where I was wrong). So what happened was she went on vacations and we had a little misunderstanding and a break up. After she returned from vacations we had a little chat how things will go on further and of a sudden she said we were not meant to date each other.
She said I'm the man of her dreams, the man that has given her what no one else ever did and that she wants me but she`s not ready for me and can`t give me what I want.
She said she doesn't want to break up and she isn't sure about what she's doing at the moment was right.
Can you please help me here!
Mels definitely distance yourself a little bit. Because if you try harder, you will just look clingy. You've got to play a little hard to get so that she wonders, "What's up with him?"
Marie Dubuque
What if she starts texting asking me if I'm fine and i respond with good and u and she replies "Im happy for you and I'm good thank you" and the she doesn't text no more. Does that means i should confront her or just move on?
LOL- Guys don't get hints- Girls have to be blunt and to the point.
Just what I needed to hear. Thanks:)
Hi Marie, I've just found you. I've approached a lady tonight who I've been texting every now and then. I catch her looking at me very often and once I look at her she reacts with smiles. I told her I wanted to know her better and that I would like to meet up some time. I also told her that the small
Interactions we've had made me admire and being curious about her (my mistake maybe??) She's an introvert. Well, even though I felt like she was sending good signals, she gave me a very odd answer. She said it makes sense to hangout to get to know each other better, but that she noticed I was very focused on that (I was like, seriously?) Then she said that she was not as focused as I was(?). Well, I told her: listen, I'll try to make things simpler for you... "I just want you to know that I'm interested in knowing you better, but if you don't think it makes sense, just say no and we both save time and energy. If you think that we can have a chance at becoming more personal, let's just start hanging out." Lol she said she would like to meet up some time, but for me to keep my heart safe (haha). Well, actually, she's not the only girl I'm interested in, but somehow she concluded that because I approached her I was really invested on her. I insisted: you don't need to do something you are not comfortable with, I don't need you to hangout with me if you are not interested. Well, she repeated that we could meet up sometime but that I could also look at other girls (wth!) then she started to look at her schedule to see when she would be available then I interrupted her and said that I needed to go and she could let me know later. Seriously, I almost told her to forget what I'd just said. Marie, how do you read this situation?
Okay I have a weird situation like this somewhat. We worked together, and she shows all signs of interest. She has the idea that I'm a player and I know that's the big reason she is pushing back. We went out three days ago finally after I chased for awhile(which she said five times she thought was kind of awesome). We talked for three hours, she played with her hair, touched my knee, licked lips, laughed at dumb jokes. All of the things that are clear indicators. It ended with her hugging me and pulling me in and a very good kiss that left her clearly happy.
Then...she text me an hour later continuing the convo, then suddenly when I mention trying something next week she's back to not ready to date. She has this idea in her head still that I am a player(and I'm not, but I can understand it because I dated a lot when we worked together). I also think she is subconscious about herself because she's asked me 3 times why I like her.
So I'm stuck at an in pass here. I know she has interest. She answers text, she did finally agree and had a blast with me. But I don't know how to break this wall she has up. Now my sisters all agreed that aggressively showing her she truly is someone I want may be the best way to go here. I did make a big play in sending flowers for her birthday to her at work they arrive tomorrow along with a little gift attached that was something she liked months ago and may impress her that I remembered. So am I working a lost cause her? I'm not desperate; I am attractive, have a good job, and am confident in myself. But I've let girls go in the past that I truly liked because of fear of rejection, and I can't do it again. Holy crap that was long.
Hey Marie, your opinions are truly wonderful and relatable. I've known this girl for about 6 months, we've been hanging out a lot, and I always felt she liked me, and we get along very well. I liked her from the beginning. She's a very shy, introverted girl and I always treated her with dignity. She and I both seemed to be the long-term types. So after about 12-15 'unofficial dates' I finally told her I like her, to which I got the 'not ready for anyone' answer, and left it open-ended by saying she'll let me know when she 'figures out herself'. She said she values me greatly, and feels comfortable opening up about herself, which is very difficult for someone like her. Do I have a chance at all?
Focus more doing living your life. Enjoy the world around you. Invite her to come along with you occasionally. Break the touch barrier
Hi there, look I have a question. I had a date with this girl. We had the most amazing time, she said she cares about me, she said she likes me but she also says she is not ready, that she wants to go to many places with me before actually try something. What do you think about my situation? Am I losing my time? Should I keep trying?
Hey Marie, it looks like you really care about your viewers in your videos. Also It's also cool how you respond to a lot of questions. I had an experience of my own and thought it might not completely fall under the same category discussed in this video. If you gave me your opinion I'd really appreciate it. Mind you we're both teenagers so immaturity could definitely play a part in this.
I had been talking with this girl daily for months and we both admitted to liking each other. However, she said that she "tends to push people away" and that she wasn't ready for a relationship. I enjoyed her friendship as well so I tried to respect that and stay friends. When we hung out it felt like a date though. Our body language and attitudes basically reflected people who were interested in one another. After that we started to talk romantically and things were going well. We were both busy during the end of the school year so I told her we didn't have to rush things. We could just wait until the summer and see where it goes. We didn't talk for about a week and I asked her why she didn't just say hi or something even if she was busy, considering I had finished my year before her and wanted to leave her alone to focus. She acted completely disinterested and a bit rude, replying with one word or not at all. I guess looking back, it might have seemed a little needy to check up on her.. I just missed her considering we spoke everyday for so long. After that incident, I decided to just give her space completely because I've learned not to chase people in the past. We didn't talk for 3 weeks and then I noticed she deleted me on the social media connections we had etc. Confused and hurt, I tried to call her but she didn't respond. I left her a long text basically giving the most formal goodbye I could give since she really just decided to cut me off.
Anyway it's been months since this happened. It's not that I'm emotionally attached or something, I'm just curious to know why she did what she did or acted the way she did. People have told me it's probably just immaturity or hormones but I feel like there should be a better explanation. If you actually read this all, thank you haha! I'd really appreciate your feedback :)
xiKryptoniteHD I think she got nervous that the friendship was heading towards becoming a serious relationship, and she got really nervous. So, I would forget that she deleted you. What's more important is how she treats you when she sees you face to face. Just start by saying hi, and smiling when you see her, and then start short conversations and see how that goes. Slowly try to build the friendship back up.
Marie Dubuque Ah thank you! The only problem with that is we don't go to the same schools. I'm not sure if it would be effective trying to text her again after she didn't respond to all my attempts to get an answer right after she deleted me. Unfortunately that's my only means of getting back in touch with her so it can't exactly happen "naturally" or in person. What do you think?
Thank you for the wise words because I really needed to hear this or else I would probably just wait around for a girl that either lost interest or had a mistaken interest that was an accident ad nobody should be or feel like just an accident!
"Im not ready for a relationship right now" translation- "Im not ready for a relationship with you."
Hey Marie, great video, a quick question, I've liked a girl for about 4 months, we've not proposed to each other yet, but we've kissed, she's madly in love with me now, but I'm confused and feel that I really like her but, its hard to say if I love her and I need some time to accept things(if I ever feel the same way like she does for me) and get serious. What do you think is the nest thing for me to do at the moment? TIA. peace :)
This isn't true, at least not in my case. I had to tell a girl I really really like that i'm not ready last night because i'm just not ready. I'm a single father who currently needs to prioritize some stability for me and my son before i let myself get too emotionally involved with a woman. It's not easy telling someone you could see a future with that you're not ready because now i might not get that chance with her again. Sucks
Wow you're a genius. Thank you for this video . Made my day !
I am watching all your videos right now and I am really happy to have found them. I was listening to what you were saying here and I have a question. I met a person and we are in a long distance "thing" - because I can't call it relationship (because she said we can't call it like this). I really care about the person, but i noticed that she doesn't care so much (I mean - the person is there, but not so much with cute-nice-lovers-messages or talks) - so I took some time off from messaging her and checking her facebook and all that. I am feeling like: "okay - if you are not interested in me and you don't want to have more than just a "thing" with me - well - I guess you don't like me that much, but you don't want to say it directly". Do you think I do the right thing with this?
alex, I would let this go completely. She only wants to be friends and you can do so much better. And long distance doesn't really work anyway, even if both people are committed. Honestly, she is doing you a favor. This won't work.
Thank you very much. I really needed to hear this.
Hi Marie, thank you for the reply. If you said to wait for her i'll follow your advice. But can you tell me like how many days, weeks or months should i wait? This is the 13th day of not texting or communicating with her. I go for more details i ask a friend to add her on facebook. My friend tried to convince her to give me more chance but she keeps saying that "SHE TRIED but will not work cos she don't like me" I've been seenzone by her too before she blocked me (To be honest she only unfriended me but i dare her to block me if she don't want a communication between us then suddenly just a min or something she blocked me ) the thing is when my friend chatting with her she is replying but why not on me? Btw i consulted 2 girls (my sister and a friend) They said she just want a PAST TIME that why she agreed to make out with me. Should i consider what they said too? Your advice will be a great help!