Leaving the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community - Leaving The Fold - Religion Documentary
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 เม.ย. 2021
- Leaving The Fold follows five young people born and raised within the ultra-Orthodox Jewish world who no longer wish to remain on the inside. As children they grew up in a closed society where deviation from the rules of conduct is often punishable by ostracism, intimidation or worse. As young adults they pay a steep price for abandoning their parents and community to seek the freedom to make their own choices.
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I LOVE how the father has chosen to remain close with his sons despite them leaving the fold. I think he's an awesome DAD. UPDATE: The son returned to the fold, and is now happily married, with children of his own.
I think that should be the norm not AWESOME
That’s so he can work on him to change his mind😂😉
@@sabra1066 totally agree with you! However for someone with such a fanatic background and almost zero knowledge of the world, and who believes his community’s way is THE way and that his children must conform - for such a person, his choice to stay close to his kids qualifies as awesome
@@lilyarnaout7369 very true. he seems to be decent person. it must be very hard for him. even if its delusional but he thinks soul of his children is lost. thats harsh way to live
i hear you. It's complicated and I'm not convinced that everything set before a camera tells the whole story....
The father being there for his children despite there spiritual disagreement was such a strong message. That’s such a powerful message and quite touching
The father is smart
Oh please it's to control them!
@@HoneyLove77 maybe or maybe not, most times the hasidic community shuns people who leave and especially the parents of such people. They sometimes even say their kids are "dead" because they left the community. I am glad the dad was still there and loved his kids and didn't shun them. I wish all parents could be understanding like that when they are not.
I hope that the father doesn't think that he failed because his sons left the fold. The fact that his sons can sit down with him and have a nice conversation as was shown at the end, just proves what a wonderful father he was and still is.
I get the feeling he is sad/mildly concerned about it, but loves them and knows it's best to let them choose what life they thrive in. But how he put that how he copes is to always try to be a better father, to always welcome them in his home and life but also kinda hopes they at least reconsider their choice to e sure. It sounds like he genuinely really loves and respects his children and thinks they are amazing just as I'm sure any parent would be a bit sad and worried something is wrong because they live a life so different than his own m
@@erik7647 He rejoined the fold and is now married with kids.
@@TinyDancerO As usually happens. I wish I had a fold to return to
he did kind of fail in that he comes across too strong, doesn't give people space
Hidden Message
In the Torah / Tanakh / Bible
What’s Hidden within The 10 Generations 🤔
Names Name Meanings
Adam -Man
Seth -Appointed
Enos -Mortal
Cainan -Sarrow
Mahalaleel -Blessed God
Jared -Shall come down
Enoch -Teaching
Methuselah - His death shall
bring
Lamech -To make low/
Mighty
Noah - Rest /Favor/
FULFILLED
Name Meanings :written in a
Sentence 😳
Man appointed mortal sarrow Blessed God shall come Down teaching his Death shall bring to make low / Mighty /Rest /Favor/ FULFILLED
Who Is This ??
Is this The Christ JESUS
My Interpretation
Jesus given a task to preform from the earth feeling of deep distress Blessed GOD shall com down as Jesus teaching as a Rabbi His death shall bring Salvation to make low to hang on a tree becomes MIGHTY /Rest /Favor/
FULLED HIS PURPOSE
------
TH-cam :
Low Tech Bible Discovries
Despite the father and sons' disagreement on their views of lives and religions, they really love and respect for one another.
Children are not entitled to love their parents. Children owe nothing.
Jesus said that whoever doesn’t hate his father or mother can’t follow the truth and can’t be free.
He prays for their return only, so his love is very conditional. He doesn’t respect their values but claims for theirs to be respected.
They tolerate, not respect one another
The father’s unconditional love is what instilled in them the “wanderlust “ to feel free. While he prays, as all of us that are parents do for our children he has done a beautiful thing by continuing to show his love. Loved this!
It paid off for his Dad to be patient and keep all communication open. He's back in the fold.
The father never once relented in the criticism of his sons.
@@TinyDancerO You got a source?
@Donnell Okafor It is a mistake to generalize.
Media never putting any problem within Judaism
The young man in Israel is so transparent and nakedly authentic. A beauty of such rarity, especially these days. May he find deep inner peace and happiness in life.
What an amazing father those 2 boys have , he desides to love them and pray for them , that is what we call a great father .
Yes, and the majority of those who leave the "fold" do NOT at all have that experience. From what I understand, they are shunned, totally and completely. This must be a very unique situation. I worked in the hasidic community of NYC for 13 years and I was very close to them, I learned a lot from them about business and money. But they live a very insular life to put it mildly. I would never want to live that way. it's extremely sheltered and un-worldly, although they are very intelligent.
Comes across as very passive aggressive to me.
That is not what he said. He said he prays for them to come back. His prayers are not selfless they are selfish. He wants them to return to the brainwashed cult in which they were raised.
@@ritawing1064 A very selfish man, not selfless.
@@aussie8114 I agree: although in mitigation I think he is deluding himself: I do not think he is aware of his real attitude towards his sons' lives.
I met a haredi Jewish man during my first year at University. I am Greek, so at first, we had nothing in common. We became best mates, slowly over the years. He confided to me he was gay, and was desperate to escape from his situation and to be accepted. Of course my family and I assisted him and accepted him. His family disowned him. He suicided at the age of 26. Ten years later,I still think of him every hour of every day. I watched this video with reluctance. When I watched the scene when the young guy said reproducing with a non Jew would be the most tragic thing for his family, I felt so angry. NOOO. The most tragic thing for a family is to disown your own child because he is DIFFERENT, and then lose to him to suicide.
Even at twenty-six, you can still hurt from being rejected by your family.
You are born into a family and you grow up with them. They become part of your life. The hareidi community is tight knit to the point of excluding anyone outside it. It forms a cocoon around its adherents, so if one member of the hareidi breaks free from the community, it is like the cocoon slips away and that the person who escaped the hareidi lifestyle is left exposed, without his protective shell. He feels like a person abandoned in the middle of nowhere, without any resources, like a castaway. That makes him extremely vulnerable. That is why your friend committed suicide.
It’s not your fault at all. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.
Strong, loving families don't disown their children. If they truly love their children they respect the differences. RIP to your friend.
I'm so sorry. He should be right here with us on Earth.
That is very sad. But there are so many suicides each year, not just from the religious.
I lost 2 children, my son died at the age of 28 in 2013 (I donated a kidney) and my daughter had a terrible accident at the age of 18 in 1997 she could not talk, walk, was blind and on a feeding tube in a wheelchair for 20 years, I visited her every day and brought her home for visits, she died at the age of 38 in 2017, I WOULD BE GRATEFUL MY CHILDREN WERE ALIVE and believe in God., not what religion they are.
So sorry for your losses 💖💖 i hope you will be able to find peace and happiness
Soooo sorry for your loss , r.i.p. big hugs
Oh Connie, I’m so sorry,friend.
I am sure your children loved you very much as well. ❤️❤️
May God bless their soul I'm so sorry for your pain
i adore their father. That is a proper loving kind father not disowning his children. As a Christian ..... my son has converted to Judaism for his wife, and I went to hs beautiful Jewish wedding. His new family arent orthodox Jews, but follow all the traditions etc, and they are the most loveliest kindest people I have ever met. They respect my beliefs and they even lifted ME in a chair after the ceremony. We all love my daughter in law too. Of course if he hadn't met his wife, he wouldn't have done it. It does boil down to him at the end of the day
* يمكننا أن نتفق جميعًا على أن هذه الأمور يجب أن يتولاها العلماء. لكن لدي سؤال جاد .. ماذا لو كنا نعيش في عالم يُسجن فيه علماء بارزون لمجرد تحدثهم الحق ونصح الحكام؟ لماذا لا تعترفون بهذه المشكلة الحالية؟ ** لقد مرت ثلاث سنوات على وفاة الشيخ فهد القاضي في السجن السعودي بسبب الإهمال الطبي من قبل السلطات. *
اعتقل الشيخ القاضي في عام 2016 بسبب خطاب نصيحة خاص أرسله إلى الديوان الملكي السعودي ، وصف فيه الانتهاكات التي ارتكبتها وزارة التربية والتعليم.
وعرف بعمله مع هيئة الأمر بالمعروف والنهي عن المنكر.
* أرسل إلى السجن لأنه نصح الوالي على انفراد! ماذا سيقول المداخلة بعد ذلك؟ انصحوا الحكام في قلوبكم وأحلامكم.For all of those who think it is ideal if Muslim women are not financially dependent on men:
Would it be ideal if Muslim men were not sexually dependent on their women? For example would it be ideal if men could purchase (at low cost) harems of docile life-like forever-young sex robots?
How would you respond to Muslim men who justified this by saying such robots are necessary to give men true independence, such that they are not forced to stay in relationships with women who are rude, jealous, controlling, manipulative, fat, old, or ugly?
How would you respond to Muslim men who said that Muslim women need to "step up their game" such that men choose to be with them instead of a robot that is more friendly, beautiful, young, and thin?
The cop out answer is to say sex robots are haram, but there are other conceivable halal alternatives that would do the same thing: flood men with cheap alternatives. Obviously such alternatives would weaken and ultimately destroy marriage because it takes away the dependence that men have on women for sex.
But that is literally what giving women financial independence does; it makes them independent from men. And that's why no society or religion ever did give women that independence, except for our current dystopia.🎉
One converts to Judaism for oneself, not for a future spouse.
@@multilingual972 he did it for himself and for his future children
I could feel that father's pain and his love for his sons and HaShem.
That father should feel really proud of himself, he is a lovely man who has raised two handsome, intelligent sons - those sons are brave and no matter what will carry what they have learnt from their father all their lives. All those children are so brave and it must take guts to leave their community behind and live how they want to live, I truly hope and pray that they will all find peace as no matter what this life is short and there is no time to wast on differences, celebrate difference and live in peace.
As I have been told, we are all in school here, each on our own journey. God will do what is best for all concerned. God makes amazing things happen.
Actually they are a very lovely family, the father and the two sons. I got sucked up into a cult for 46 years. I know the pain that makes suicide look like relief. Underlying it all was the belief that God is not like all these religions. He is kinder, more loving, more forgiving,. So many of us love God, but not religion. Many of us have transcended religion and the need for the approval of man. We have a good relationship with the Father himself, and that is enough.
This is heartbreaking! What a great dad! And the boys are amazing too. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I totally understand the young men, but my heart cries with their dad😢
That was a very powerful statement that young man made about two people not knowing each other and he felt it was rape and he is right it is rape for both of them
He is full of integrity, courageous and has a pure heart. May he heal and find equilibrium in his new life, and be blessed to find a suitable relationship that he chooses in his future. His beautiful soul touched my heart. So honest.
I had never considered that before
It was very intense and I agree very much with what he said.
So many people commenting on how great the father is that keeps in touch with his sons, despite them leaving the lifestyle he had laid out for them. Sure, he loves them, it shows and he may be better than many other orthodox fathers.
But isn't that the way it SHOULD be? Keeping in touch with the kids who chose their own lifestyle is something that average families do.
I feel more inclined to compliment the inner strength of the sons who broke free from intense brainwashing and managed to not lose their mind over the psychological stress that comes with it. Remember, the younger son could not marry the woman he loved because of family pressure. And the father, despite being very nice, is still trying to indoctrinate his sons and to make them afraid of a life in freedom and guilt-trip them for being their own persons. The sons deserve more praise than the father.
I completely agree with you!
I could feel the love from the father to his boys. I appreciate how he was reaching to them and trying to listen.
He loves them, sure. But he is not listening.
I know the father of these two boys and he is a really outstanding human being.
really tell us more!
He should be proud of his boys! He also seems like a loving father..letting them be and discover themselves
I admire his attitude a great deal.
Funny, accepting your kids for who they are is no exceptional for me, it’s just normal.
@ONLINE INTELECTUAL If they found Hasidic Judaism too restrictive, Islam would be no better for them.
This father's love is so amazing. It's always hard when there's a lot of pressure from the immediate environment and how you can't be accepted enough. Dad is right in drumming in the message about taking responsibility. The other young man is speaking from the heart about arranged marriage. It's important to respect each experience and learn. Life must have purpose and balance. I think these young man mean well and they have their reasons. He can only pray and love his sons as always.
What a brilliant and loving dad they have. They are learning from each other and still bonding in their relationship despite their huge separation of ideas.
It's amazing to me that people from so many religions feel this way. I come from a Southern baptist background that I left behind. There is constant pressure to conform to what the group dictates. It has nothing to do with God or religion. You have to do and think what everyone else does right down to the clothes you wear and the politicians you vote for. If something doesn't make sense and you ask a question you are called sinful because you didn't obey without question. I struggled with this for decades. Like the rabbi said you get the feeling something isn't 100%. Thankfully, I didn't give up on God. I just came to the realization that there is a difference between God and religion.
I had the same thought--that many other religions pose the same problems for those who want to think for themselves. I have a friend who was born Catholic and became a Born-Again Pentecostal. Her mother prays that she will return to the Catholic church. This is true of many other groups---the Amish, Mormons, etc. etc.
Lori, the same that's why I'm now with a Messianic congregation
Agreed. Churches can be toxic af and many people are put off by God bc of experiences with bigoted or judgemental churches smh.
@@ruthhorowitz7522 you got that right about difficult questions ✌😎💜🔯
@@ruthhorowitz7522 But if you leave the fold, you will usually be rejected.
My man said it's rape to force two people to be together who don't even know each other. And he's right.
I really appreciated the editors letting that hit, too. There was no jump cut, no music...just his regret and understanding. So powerful.
I agree.
I m not sure it's rape because
they consented.
@@ellioshiem7892 found the Rabi’s burner
@@PRBoricua23 pardon.....??
I cannot even begin to imagine how that must be. Living under the burden of so many rules. Fear is controlling, love sets free.
I mean, fear can be a good thing. It's just not this sort of "fear" that is good. They are too controlling. I thought fear like the fear of snakes or anything that possesses a physical or emotional risk not superstitions were meant to keep us safe.
Some people simply don't do well without a rigid set of rules. It scares the sh*t out of them. Sometimes it works.
@@pansprayers yeah but being brought up like that you have no choice at the start so you don't know if you can do without those rules or not, if you even believe in it or not
Yes it's working out wonderfully in the west: boys wanting to be girls, girls wanting to be piano's, an abortion clinic at every corner of the street, millions of homeless addicts, alcoholics etc.
@@Yuki_fan1 Thats a fair point, with freedom, some people will make bad choices, but I dont think it has to be that way. Western society has become too selfish and entitled, but this is the messaging people get from their leaders and the media. Our moral leaders are radical feminists and gay people. but I think eventually the pendulum will swing. Its already starting to happen. There are "free" countries that dont have social problems like Scandinavian countries.
This was so well done, and wonderful that the father participated in the making of the documentary.
Most parents would have cut off their children
And what about the mother? What does she believe? And this is the question: why are women repressed in this cult?
@@bonnielawrence8748 l believe that the men and elder men are also repressed. An orthodox Jewiish person just rarely disregards or steps out of tge order. In reference to the men, it just defies the laws of nature. But also gives them power and control over their wives and offspring. The women are not groomed for independent thinking or empowerment. It's cultural and generational. Many other races, cultures and religious orders work the very same way.
@@sarahchandler695 Of course they are but they also are not taught to think or question. Sad for all of them. I'm glad my parents walked away from organized Judaism. And I have walked away from all organized religions.
@@bonnielawrence8748 l have as well walked away from organized religion. I couldn't quite gel with the Bible's teachings of woman should obey and be subservient. Modern times have struggles with the Bible and the United States Constitution. Written words from ions ago.
I love the father. The boys love and respect him albeit their differences. THAT is beauty
And that is LOVE.
The two Canadian boys are great. You couldn't desire better people in your society.
They were my favorite!
TRUE
I am no longer a "religious/church" person............... but oh how I resonate with these people. I grew up a Catholic.............. now I am a person who believes in assisting others. Thank you for this vlog........... I truly appreciate it! HUHS
Well, I have to say that doing this makes you a fantastic Christian. That is exactly what Jesus taught. I became a Christian because I could see that everything that Jesus taught was perfect. So, I knew that He was God. Religion is from man. Think about the fact that there are so many Christian denominations each with their own viewpoints. This goes against the teachings of Jesus. Jesus wants all Christians to come together in sisterly and brotherly love and follow His teachings which are to love others.
God bless you, Honey.
It can't ever be easy to leave your culture. Glad the one father still loves his sons and will not reject them out of hand.
Beautifully done. Those young men are lucky and blessed to have such a father.
I particularly liked the young woman’s statement that her Hungarian community had written their own Bible. I wonder if the police ever arrested the people who violently attacked her sister. That was a criminal community. Shunning is bad enough, but assault and battery, arson, and destruction of property are illegal.
It was not a Hungarian community. It's a neighborhood that was built by Hungarian immigrants in the 19th century. The police seldom go into these areas.
@@elan-6418 they don't have to go in, but respond to a call, or she could go in to the police station and report it. not only that, but SUE THEM.
مرحبًا بك في حافظة Gboard، سيُحفظ أي نص تنسخه هنا.
انقر على مقطع للصقه في مربع النص.
@@elan-6418 Was it early in the 19th Century? My family left Hungary for NYC 1895-1907, because they knew the Austro Hungarian Empire was ending. They saw Communism and a Great War ( WW1) coming. Also, two of my Grandmother’s brothers had a price on their heads. Jews were not allowed the luxury of self defense.
What a man of God the father is for not abandoning his sons.
But he has abandoned his sons, by not lwaving the community himself and not defending their choice in front of hasidic community
I asked my mum about God's rules once and she said he only required 3 things from me - be kind when others suffer, be brave when others struggle and love those who hate as they hated themselves enough already
That's great advice ❤
Wise words ❤️🙏🏽
Great words, but we need the whole of the law. Do not kill, honour your father and mother, do not worship false idols etc. If you don't have the other rules, there is a jigsaw with pieces missing and it usually gets thrown out.
💓
Don’t forget to give money every Sunday. God needs your money. Not sure why but he needs it 💰
Ok, so I know some of the people in the video. My husband is actually one of the Hasidim at 17:17 . He was about 17 at the time and he is now 35. We are family friends with the Riven, the first two guys interviewed . They are a wonderful family. Hudi, the chef is actually religious again and has a wonderful wife and kids.
I'm glad to know he's doing fine. Is the older also doing well? He seemed like he had his things in order.
I hope people are just happy, however that might look for them. :)
It is sad that you informed us the chef returned to the Borg to deal with his brainwashing and his mental illness as well as those around him in the cult
I find that hard to believe
@@carntheblues12 agreed. Once you're free you can't go back.
That's great but I do my left shoelace first. I don't need a bunch of weirdos telling how to put shoes on.
What a loving father, aslong as they have that bond nothing else in the world matters
Loving fathers respect their kids opinions . They dont FORCE them to take the path they have chosen! Love has tp do with respect. He dsnt respect his kids choices.
What a wonderful father. God bless him - he did nothing wrong. Even though they disagree, their love for each oher will carry them through.
The father has such a young voice
The father is probably pretty young himself.
The father was 14 when he had his oldest
@@Yuki_fan1 really?😯
You have done a great job with your 2 sons , they are smart , kind, and well balanced, what more could you ask for ?
We
Live in an incredible world and we have freedom to explore and decide for ourselves what path to take .
You’ve done your job , relax ❤️
A parent never relaxes about their children no matter how old they get. That’s a parents love.
@@gloriouslyimperfect p
@@gloriouslyimperfect Yet, they can treat you like a stranger because you care so much. Rejection is a hard thing to take and to understand.
I really admire these two young men.People can not go around in life dragging extra luggage, feeling guilty and doubting every decision and step that you make and thinking everything it's out of God's law. As long as you live a healthy life and try to be a fair, friendly and caring person is enough. We are not here to please our parents, friends or couples, we are here to grow and to be happy without destroying oursevelves neither destroy others.
Perfect statement.
You don't find many Orthodox men with the attitude this father has. Sir, you are a true mensch
I’m only 11 minutes in and I feel bad that their dad doesn’t think they’ve opened the treasure chest. These brothers seem like they have expanded to a God that has created this expensive world and all it’s varied people. And it’s absolutely beautiful. They are not keeping ritualistic laws but already 11 minutes and sound like they have a spiritual connection.
what is it in the human condition that requires some “spiritual connection”? I’ll never understand it when people talk about this. Why do people have to insist there is something beyond what is tangible in front us? What science can’t prove? Is it necessary to always have some mystical involvement in the human experience? Not attacking you, I just roll my eyes when people keep insisting on bringing this stuff up. It’s 2023, we can send video images across the world, put a man on the moon and split the atom but people still wanna pretend there is some mysterious force that makes rules for an afterlife or willed us into existence.
The pain of this fantastic father hits hard. This is unconditional love.
I feel sorry for the dad. I feel his heart is breaking inside, but he doesn't show it. He is so fair with them. I'm sure his wisdom comes from his religious beliefs. I hope these two guys know how much their dad loves them.
Oh, they do. They are too busy being free in their independent freedom, yet they know their roots, they won't go too far.
The fathers need to understand that their childrens' choices are not theirs to make. That is true love of one's children. I have a powerful relationship with God. Yet, one of my children is a devout atheist. The other is Buddhists and Buddhists don't believe in God. Those are their choices and not mine to make. Anything else is controlling and, therefore, not loving.
@Discovernewthings I agree except with Islam. I don't believe in any religion. Religion is of man, spirituality is of God. The Spirit actually has no name. So, I prefer the Great Spirit because it is a definition, not a name. The Spirit is in me and with me every moment of every day. The Spirit performs miracles and gives me signs and prophecy. I don't have to worry about judgment because I know that I am loved by the Great Spirit. The judgment is actually against those with unloving hearts. That is the only judgment that will occur.
This father is simply wonderful - I hope that in spite of everything they appreciate what a marvellous, inspiring dad they have.
Children are not entitled to love their parents. Children owe nothing.
Jesus said that whoever doesn’t hate his father or mother can’t follow the truth and can’t be free.
I am someone who left a very dysfunctional faith and had difficulty doing so. From my observations, religion is the only thing we have in our society that separates men and women, causes parents to hate their children, insists upon enforcing antiquated, unreasonable rules just for the sake of it, Causes people to feel guilt and shame and horrible just because they don’t follow those rules, and I could go on all day.
Don't forget pseudoreligions (e.g. intersectional feminism) either.
Amazing!
The great love, patience, and kindness this father demonstrates towards his sons, is one lesson for all parents to learn from.
Thank you and God bless all of you.
This is one video I love!😊👍👏👏👏
But he has abandoned his sons, by not lwaving the community himself and not defending their choice in front of hasidic community.
He doesnt have patience and he would likely break their will, if he could. He excursuses his dominireeing power and he couldn’t anymore, legally.
He doesn’t have any identity outside the community and outside of his “Hasidic father figure” authority
these are people that haven't necessarily lost their faith or walked away from it! They have just walked away from their orthodoxy! the father and the sons see that its the love that matters most!
The two boys have a good Abba who is wise. They are blessed. 💗
That is one cool dad. I would watch a series with that family.
Yes. He and his sons are amazing. His kindness and understanding are everything every parent should get to see.
A lot of hasidic dad's aren't as open minded and tolerant as he is. Props to him
I can see why he left. The amount of rules and do's and don'ts is overwhelming!
What a wonderful father. I very much honour his unconditional love. I am wishing the family all the best
Children are not entitled to love their parents. Children owe nothing.
Jesus said that whoever doesn’t hate his father or mother can’t follow the truth and can’t be free.
He prays for their return only, so his love is very conditional. He doesn’t respect their values but claims for his to be respected
I am glad I was brought up in a non-religious family. I can be myself without guilt and without narrow stifling tribalism. I can appreciate the richness of diversity and freedom to find my own way in life just as the sons did in the video.
The soundtrack to this documentary is lovely.
An elegant, compassionate, insightful documentary. Thank you for sharing 🙏
I can understand what the father is going through because I put my father through the same thing when I left the faith I was raised in and went into one directly opposite it. My sister helped me understand later in life that it was important to him because it was something he could give me that he really cared about. Unfortunately, it wasn’t one I was comfortable with.
I really love the dynamic between the father and the sons and the maintenance of the traditions along with it
Children are not entitled to love their parents. Children owe nothing.
Jesus said that whoever doesn’t hate his father or mother can’t follow the truth and can’t be free.
My grandfather was Jewish and married out; his father disowned him for this. This happened in London, England in Edwardian times; my grandfather and his brother who also married out never spoke about their Jewish heritage very much; both were very liberal-minded men; they each faced a lot of discrimination from others; WW1 and WW2 they both survived; and I often wonder what my Jewish great-grandfather was like as a man.
Probably a good man that wanted the best for his family. ✡
My heartfelt best wishes to any oppressed person leaving a domineering sect. Have a rich and fulfilling life. Being a decent, honest and productive person is the most important aspect in life.
Any human living an honest life should not fear judgement.
Very well said. Thank you.
I wish this lovely dad could pray for his boys to be happy no matter what - not that they go back to where they came from as it appears they were not happy there... hugs for all.
I agree. It is indeed lovely that this wonderful father prays for his boys every day.....but the prayer should be that the boys follow to God in their own ways, not to return to the Hassidic way. His prayer is actually selfish
Very much so. His prayers are selfish not selfless.
@@robertaswanson5633 Basically you're doing the exact same thing, judging and saying how the prayer should be according to you. We all pray and live out of our beliefs, no matter what those beliefs are.
@@robertaswanson5633 yes!
@Gordon Brown If at the end of my life I had to look back and justify it I would struggle had I spent it being brainwashed to be part of a cult.
As someone who has gone down this path, I find it refreshing (though unusual) that everyone in this documentary has relationships with their family.
@elan: This is true: Usually when you leave this type of community you are "ostracized" permanently.
The younger brother, Huda… at 5:36 onwards, preach it!! Those are exactly the beliefs I hold🤗🤗
How wholesome that the dad and his two boys can still sit together and have an intellectually stimulating conversation ❤️
The truth is that you always let your back door unlocked for your children and your children will appreciate it! Because love is never harsh 🕊🥰
What a powerful documentary. Thank you all for sharing your life experiences with us and for being so beautifully genuine! God bless you!
Was powerful when he said it's wonderful to enjoy living life for yourself instead of pretending to enjoy living it for others
@@marynehra502 Yes, it was a brilliant documentary for several reasons, and many of the individuals who took part in it were wise in their own way.
Bless the rabbi. Down to earth as a BT (ba'al teshuva). I'm glad he is there for people who left. Equally, I'm glad the people at the Hillel are also there for those that left, as it must be hard on their mental health without family or friends. I hope such people can still find their home in Orthodoxy, and I hope Orthodox people will be there for them too.
Are we supposed to know what a 'bal teshuva' is? 😂
@@user-ce7gp5ig4y Apologies. It means master of repentance. In short someone who comes back to Judaism, or becomes religious after having been secular.
@@elianayocheved6413 Thanks
@@user-ce7gp5ig4y You are most welcome.
Well being a BT dad is exactly why he is more tolerant! We bt's know we did the same and went out to find our derech.. there is beauty in our community but my daughter suffered because I squeezed my neshama and her neshama so we would fit in.
I grew up in a conservative Christian home. My parents are very loving and never abused me in any way. However, I know it would break their hearts if they knew I'm not a "orthodox" Christian anymore. I'm not an atheist, but I don't believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible anymore and don't believe in substitutiary atonement theology anymore. It has been a gradual process for me over many years of deconstructing Christianity, but I don't have the heart to tell my family what I really believe. These young men are very lucky to have such an great father who still loves them and breaks bread with them even though they have profound religious differences between them. Not many people in their situation are so lucky.
It's OK once you believe in God and have goodness in your heart you'll be alright
I found this video to be a more nuanced discussion about leaving ultra orthodoxy. Nicely done.
The brothers have a really nice dad considering how often we hear of hasidic families completely disowning the relatives that leave the community/lifestyle. I hope the older brother is/was able to get back with the non-jewish woman he's still in love with and that his family realizes that his happiness is what matters the most and be glad that someone out there cares for him like they do.
J.J. Yeah that would be great wouldn't it?! Real gratitude to a parent who obviously really cares! Slap him in the face,sure.
The culture of inobjective "happiness is what matters the most" has not served mankind well, and allows people to go off to extremes. It doesn't end well.... Ask Julia Haart....
@@tamjlm what good is safety if it’s miserable? Happiness is god.
What a great DAD
I see great love between the boys and their father. Three people striving but still loving.
The LOVE of that father…wow. I feel father’s pain … really sad
Love the conversation between the Dad and his sons at 47:00. Both stating their cases and being respectful of each other. 🥰
I really like the rabbi he seems so down to earth and like he says, he was once the young people that he tries to help and become friends with.
I feel the same way about my kids from going astray from out believes and I too pray that I have the strength this father has to let them follow in their own believes, yet remind them of their faith and guide them with love and compassion so hopefully they return home....Very strong documentary!
This was beautifully done. The harm high demand religions cause far outweigh the benefits, especially when it tears families apart. Thank you for showing the love and the darkness. Humanity in a nutshell.
I love the conversation between the father and his two sons. I know for sure he just tried to make sure that his sons will always in the right path of their live. "Not everythings out there is meant to be tasted. And not everthings out there meant to be experienced." Thank you sir.
He doesn’t have a right to decide for his sons what will be the right path for them. He has no right to restrict their autonomy and freedom, to shame them.
They are entitled to taste everything, because tastes exist for that purpose only. Being fake spiritual is the worst hypocrisy
Children are not entitled to love their parents. Children owe nothing.
Jesus said that whoever doesn’t hate his father or mother can’t follow the truth and can’t be free.
a loving father, how lucky those two men are, thank you
Underrated doc. I like how the religious side is insistent that the family ought not to sever ties.
Catholism has a lot of rules. I rebelled against it and eventually came back to the faith. I'm happy now and glad I did.
So did I. I now follow Paul's Gospel. 1 Corinthians 15 1-4, Ephesians 1 7 and 2 Corinthians 5 19-21 are the keys to salvation in Jesus Christ.
Good video.🍿👏🏻👏🏼👏👏🏾👏🏿👏🏽
The Father loves his sons and they love him. The one thing I found disturbing was the couple on their first date she told him how she felt about her supporting the family financially and she expected him to work. He looked at her and the words he said will forever stick with me. “I would have to work”.
He told the matchmaker woman “I am King”, he was saying I am head of the house, but yet he does not want to share in the responsibility of support, financially or physically. I don’t understand!
Wow, the conversation between the two sons and their father around 40 min was great to watch and listen to as it shows that both parties are open and willing and loving to discuss a topic that touches all on a very deep level. Some of the other stories of young people that left the fold however are truly sad and frankly quite harrowing.
Children are not entitled to love their parents. Children owe nothing.
Jesus said that whoever doesn’t hate his father or mother can’t follow the truth and can’t be free.
That was painful. You're a treasure for subjecting yourself to that for our entertainment. Thank you.
The boys are right. Every decision had already been made for them from birth and handing over your will to anyone is tragic, but not irreversible. So glad they got out.
But that is every person ever. Ever person born had no choice into what country they were born, what their first and maybe even second language will be. They have no say as to what elementary school they attend, or what their first food will be. They dont get to choose their bedtime, or naptime or even supper time. They are forced to bath, clean themselves, dress, pick up their toys and sometimes they even have to take out the garbage.
Life, all functional life, has rules.
@@csa6058 Are you equating training children to adults being told how to wash their hands and when? This culture never grows up, with parental/religion overseeing you until you die and the consequences of disobedience are ex-communication or eternal damnation from your family. That is tragic.
@@PrincessofErised I'm not saying ex-communication or eternal damnation from the family is the right this. That has nothing to do with the religion and everything to do with the relationship and character of the people involved. There are many families that have children who leave this lifestyle and still maintain wonderful relationships with their families. They are just not the ones that get shows made about them.
And yes, I'm saying the relationship between human and G-d, goes way beyond childhood into adulthood. Where the same rules and regulations apply.
@@PrincessofErised People are taught how to wash their hands to get rid of physical germs, how and when. The way we wash our hands in the morning is to get rid of spiritual "germs" so to speak . Life is full of do's and don'ts. Some are for health reasons and some are for spiritual reasons. What I (a Lubavitch woman)and a guest at my cousin's house who was a modern orthodox returnee to Judaism don't understand is why, if being chassidic is too difficult , don't they try a less strict approach like modern orthodoxy. Why do they feel the need to stop everything?
@@alizahalon Ah, but they are no less Jewish by heritage when they do not follow the rules or leave. I do not fault them for being an individual with a mind of their own. What I find shameful is the community shunning them for not keeping kosher, especially when every religious faction that ever existed cannot agree on what that means. Even if they became modern, there will always be someone trying to restrict them. They may return, who knows, but they should not lose their families for wanting to see for themselves what life can be.
I'm an atheist, these strict religious people in all faiths seem to cultivate OCD and anything that deviates from their rituals causes anger, anxiety, feelings of doom and gloom. Without religion, life is just as trying, but you have more time and freedom to figure it out on your own without others' opinions.
I’m not sure this is backed up, scientifically.
Absolutely! The father is a control freak ! Brainwashed to death ! Uuurrrgh ! I wouldn’t have their patience thats for sure . It would bye bye im off to marry this lovely girl ! U dmt like ? Then u domt see me anymore !!!!
@@jaim0368 I never said it was backed up by science, just my observation of watching the film and the highly OCD-like ticks and movements while they are reading and praying. There is a ritual in every breath these people take.
I respect that outlook on life even though I myself am Christian. I like how you stated your POV but didn’t bash any religion or anyone who follows them.
never thought about this. great observation
I love the wholesome dynamic between the father and his sons.
I adore that dad and his boys. It's not the tragic story about children getting pushed out of family. They are still talking, still loving, did not lose each other about religion. Think this is such a important thing.
This dad is nothing special, he, first of all , does not respect their will, he still pushing them to re-think. about being religious. You must be blind watching this video not seeing how he is actually disrespectful about their decision ... What a shameful father who tried to indoctrinate sons..
This is not about the "good" father story. It is about the rights to choose keeping the essence of who you are. And either side should not reject each other and live a balanced and accepting life with no prejudgement nor absolute thuths.
The father of the two men is a very wise man.
These two men remind me of Ecclesiates.. I believe their father is definitely right.
They will come to the conclusion when they experienced it themselves.
Ecclesiates is so very beautiful and so true. It suits that very well.
Great documentary. Enjoyed watching it.
May God bless all of you.
Their father is a gentle man who loves his sons, unconditionally. He continues to teach them.
This was excellent. Muti-dimensional and positive. That father is so loving.
My parent were holocaust survivors, they were orthodox jews before they rejected the religion completely, all my life leaving among gentiles I felt lost &an outcast, my grandma kept @ taught me what my belief should be grandma died. for many years I felt lost, to be Jewish is a gift from GOD one should cherish this great gift
Hahahahaha nonsense.
@@blackinpublic4193 Someone else's experience might be nonsense to you because you don't share their experience. Easy to judge another without walking in their shoes, nu?
blackin publick, i see that cross on your profile, let me ask you a question, wasnt jesus jewish?
Damn Hitler won't be happy
the poor girl Sara who's sister was beaten and kicked out of her neighbourhood because she wore trousers 👖!!!!!how ridiculous is that !!!I hope she is going ok
Hi, I am the sister and I don't know if you're going to see this comment but I want to let you know that I deeply appreciate your concern for us and we are okay now. We are happier than ever. 😘😘
@@cultdefector 👋🏾 Hi I'm reallt glad to hear that you are safe and doing well after a traumatic experience!😊 Stay blessed 🙌
@@cultdefector
Thank you so much for commenting and I’m so sorry about what happened but I’m relieved and glad you are all content and happy... Blessings to you and your family ❤️🙏🏽
I am so glad you & family are doing well! I am praying for you & ALL people’s who are oppressed by zealots.
BTW, who is teaching 3 yr olds to stone others? He couldn’t have been older than 3. G-d sends his very best to deliver a wake-up call to a neighborhood or community that has gone over the edge...🙏❤️🌹
The people in Jerusalem who do this are not the majority of orthodox Jews. So sorry this happened to her. It never should have happened. She is a Jewish girl always, no matter what her level of religious observance. The people throwing rocks forgot about a huge mitzvah: Love your fellow Jew. Rabbi Akiva said that's the whole Torah. Everything else is commentary.
Ive been missing my daughter, Rebekkah Ruth Autaubo, since 2019. I understand how the father mentions how he keeps hope in his children to return home. boy, how do i miss my daughter. shes been gone as she was going to college in Santa Fe NM.
One of the things I will never understand why so many parents expect that their kids will be living exactly the same life as they do or they choose for them? The parents made their choice once, they decided for that lifestyle, for their partners, for their religion. Why their children are not allowed to choose their way? It does not relate only to ultra-Orthodox, I see it pretty much everywhere and everyday.
those two boys are extremely blessed to have such an amazing father!
My grandfather was Jewish and left his faith. He became a Christian. In is final days on earth, he regretted his decision And felt very guilty for not teaching his children about his Jewish heritage. He was a decent man, loyal to his family, devoted to his church, devoted to his community and lived a principled and clean life but the regret as he was dying was so sad to see.
I went to live with a Jewish family for a while. They are beautiful people. They are wise and intelligent people. Bless the sons. I pray they are ok. The Jewish community is very special. The larger world is a great unknown. Best wishes to these sons and family.
The Father said about 4 words and i knew he was a special kind man and you can see him struggling with his pain by letting his son choose his life.Lovely but very heartbreaking
This is so sad to watch.
Sad to see how these guys have been caught up in something they did´nt choose and are so restricted by... and just as sad to see their father grieve.
I think this shows that he just wants to do what he has been taught is best for human kind... I would´nt want to be caught up in it and I think that many of these communitites can really destroy people, they do so much damage to anyone who dos´nt conform, anyone who does not find themselves of the same persuation, but I think a lot of it is honest belief that this is best...
What a painfull world to live in, for all parties.
Communities are made up of people, who are human, so thus most communities destroy people.... along with building, loving, and supporting. Nobody's immune...
Feeling guilt can oftentimes make people much more aware pf their actions. Guilt isn't always a negative.
I am middle aged and still finding my way in the world we do that until we die and if we don't do that we are already dead!
There are many of us parents out here that feel that broken heart yet love their children as this father does.
Pinchus Riven's wisdom was inspiring and thought provoking. I see the benefit bestowed to both of these young men in having such a mentor. They were left with a wonderful roadmap to the various paths in life.