Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that my new book, Things That Matter, is finally here. I put my heart into it, and I can’t wait to share it with you. You can pick up a copy at www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/676394/things-that-matter-by-joshua-becker/
Casey Burns Investing Yes absolutely. This Xmas I have given presents to sick children in hospital. The gift for me is seeing them smile and that stays with me long term then a momentary thrill from a material thing.
My husband and I have lost our business this year in the UK. But we have a roof over our heads, food in the cupboard and our family and friends are healthy - we are rich in so many ways. Things that are priceless mean so much. Thanks for your inspiration 😊
12/19/20....YOUR ATTITUDE IS WONDERFUL. You have your health + your home + your family & friends. YOU ARE RICH! GOD BLESS YOU & YOURS NOW + FOREVERMORE! MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM central FL. 🇺🇸
@@eileeneclark9011 thank you so much. Have got myself a little job in a supermarket just stacking shelves. I'm not too proud to do what's necessary to help my family. Thanks for your kindness xx
One of the best gifts I have been given comes from my daughter. She has made it her goal to phone me 3-4 times a week. Sometimes we only talk for 10 or 15 minutes and sometimes we talked for an hour. If she’s busy she doesn’t call and I don’t worry about it but I know that she’ll be calling in a day or so. It is such a comfort to me to know that she thinks about me and calls on a regular basis and it keeps us in touch with each other. It didn’t cost her anything except her time and it’s brought us much closer together.
Thank you for sharing this. I agree with you. I wish my husband's family would get this idea. Why do I need to buy my mother-in-law another pair of pajamas when she doesn't need them. She's well off and can buy what she needs or wants. We can buy what we need as well. We'd rather have an experience as a family, but no one wants to do this. It's so frustrating.
A great gift I get my parents every year is a bird seed wreath from my local garden center! It’s perfect! They get to enjoy watching the winter birds in their backyard and I’m not contributing to clutter! ❤️
I tell my kids I want 3-4x6 pictures, 1 for Mothers Day of just my child, 1 for my birthday that is a picture of them and or their family doing something fun and 1 for Christmas, a family photo of them, their spouses and children. I tell them, initially buy me 3 4x6 inch photos and any frame of their choice including first photo....then I tell them after that, they can get an envelope decorated or not, a letter on/ in it or not and that's all I want. My kids are not going to go crazy, get sick or go in debt to buy me gifts. I want memories as gifts!
Lisa B. Absolutely and in these times more then ever we need to stick together and pull each other up. Material objects mean little to me anyway, it's just useless junk 90% of the time. The joy you can give to others through your kindness and love is what true gifts are.
@@greenkitty82 Thank You for the kind words! We as a society do need to stick together, because people matter most. Stuff overwhelms me, yet I have lived my life consuming as I was taught this as a child. I am wanting to be on the minimalism road more then ever, but it will be a process to get my big family there fully....but not giving up.
Lisa B. You're welcome. Nothing is more important in life then those around us but unfortunately as a society we have had conditioned beliefs programmed into us that consumerism and constant buying will make us happy when it doesn't. It may give you a short burst of joy but it never lasts. I consume only what I need and will be using as I can't stand clutter. It clutters the mind whereas if you live more simply and use your life to be of service to others you will be happier. I was told to be the example and those who see the light in it will follow you. 🙏
@@greenkitty82 Such wise words! I live in a well organized home, but so much stuff it makes me sick. I have wanted less, way less for as long as I can remember. I was shamed by some relatives for not wanting to partake in consummerism, people looked at me like I was some kind of freak. Honestly, I did not care about that, but got tired of the bullying because I battle health problems, so I let them all have their way. But over the last decade I began to remove certain things slowly. I am a Christian, so I got little value from TV, so I got rid of cable. My Hubby and I only had cable a few years of our nearly 32 years together, but my relatives got angry....how could we do that. Even though, they do not live with us, they came over expecting TV...uh no, my house, my rules. I simplified my life more, Hubby and I branched out and chose our own church, began homeschooling, removed stuff from our home we felt was unhonoring to God, we switched 100% to Christian music and movies, we paired down our schedule to just a 1-2 activities, we gave up eating out and instead made our own meals, packed a cooler and lunches for day trips, we chose to stay home more often, we ended huge birthday bashes and massive holidays we used to host at our home, we simplified our technology and got flip phones, we stopped trying to help everyone who asked....we were the go to people for volunteering, to solve and fix people problems with their lives and actual homes. I mean if anyone, everyone had an issue, they called us...regardless of whether they could take care of their issues themselves, we were expected to drop everything and come. People had myself and my Hubby running around day and night, we had virtually no boundaries up, tending to their every whim and we were kind, loving people just wanting to help but ultimately running ourselves into the ground. I mean the minimalism began with how we were living, now we are beginning in our home even more...but we got a long way to go. We even began last year, minimizing gifts and parties for our kids. We have 6 kids ages 24-7 and of those kids, 4 we adopted and we are in process to adopt 1 more again. What we have given up so far has made it possible to have our children. Yes, people expect still we will jump, but now the answer is NO! I had a neck injury and spinal neck surgery in 2018, got it from massive stress....no way will I let any of this maximized lifestyle continue. If it were up to me, I would get a truck and dumpit all, but I know it needs to be a gradual process for my kids. But still, I LOVE Less everything. People look at minimalism as this big joke, well I say the bigger thing is, how much stress, debt and health problems is it causing you keeping it all going? How's it working for you? Is life merely a rush job, because consuming is all about the next big thing and theres always yet another big thing we HAVE to have! Is standing in line for HOURS overnight, shivering in the cold WORTH it for the fun hysteria of a Piece of plastic? I mean it sickens me. I have seen the destruction, literally of my very body trying to keep it all going. And in all honesty, I am built to run, move and go,...yet I broke my neck, I developed over a dozen medical problems BECAUSE I was doing, living, keeping up too much! I pray people see minimalism is not just better and simper but can keep you from stress, debt, illness, a joyless life, feeling endlessly overwhelmed. Minimalism can improve anxiety, depression, social interactions, health, every aspect of our lives just because simpler makes our minds, lives, homes, schedules easier and for all purposes can improve overall quality of life.
Lisa B. It sounds like you've got a good organised system going on in life which is good. People usually poke fun at those doing different things to them because one it threatens them to see someone doing something different as it makes them question their own actions and two because they are so programmed by the culturescape and blueprint beliefs that they genuinely don't question anything or see anything outside of it. But all I've seen of consumerism in my life is anxiety and stress. Its not beneficial and it's also not an intelligent thing to do. I have to have compassion really because people are so scared of not being liked that they'll just go with the crowd to fit in and buy anything to fit in but being true to my values is more important to me then being liked. If people don't like you for who you are they are not people you need in life so people need to question do want to live a life of fear in pleasing others or think for themselves?. It's all a choice.
The year my family stopped doing gifts for adults was the beat year ever! We only buy for the kids (and if i had it completely my way we wouldnt do niece and nephew gifts, but its more important to maintain relationships than be picky). It is so much less stress. But i do find myself shopping in October, just to get it over with, which feels like the wrong sentiment for gift giving, but its the way society has created obligation around gift giving. My husband and i stopped doing all gifts all year around to each other and its wonderful!! We buy each other a surprise cake for our birthdays instead, and go out for a meal for other occasions. And i love him more for it! The gift of quality time is so much more special!
I tell my mother in law every year that I don’t want or need anything for Christmas (or any other time you give gifts)...she doesn’t listen and tells me “we show love by giving gifts.” “Gifts” is her love language, not mine, so she will find something for me and it will probably end up in the donation box. Thank you for the reminders!
Good gift ideas: A box of Hefty garbage bags to clean out stuff, gas cards to be able to drive to the donation centers to drop of stuff, "The More of Less," by Joshua Becker.
A lot of times you truly embarrass a person you give a gift to because they feel horrible that they didn't give you anything. Then they get self conscious and feel guilty. Another reason its time to stop buying gifts is when you feel like you have to.
I agree with that. Once, I put together a pretty basket filled with packets of cookies for an old lady neighbour at Christmas, and I was horrified when she bought me a gift from her pension. She hardly had money in the first place, that's why a made her the basket. I never did it again. I learned people feel uncomfortable getting gifts and feel they have to give one back ☹️
I have a friend that always buys us something every year even when I tell her not too. I tell her we don’t have the money to buy gifts for her family. So please don’t buy us anything. Then she makes me feel guilty because I didn’t get them anything.
I once bought an expensive Pandora charm for a friend when she hyped up the gift she bought me so I thought I had to buy something really great. It turned out to be a mug. I was so disappointed and had felt completely deceived, she had made out it was expensive.
Your advise for shopping, is correct. I stoped the shopping years ago ; my family thought I did wrong. So each year I celebrate Jesus as normal, and stay at home enjoying my time and reading the word. Attend church services. And visit with my neighbor. We are all family
Many thanks to Joshua for his wise words and wishes. 💖 Here’s what we do for Xmas… On my Mother’s side of the family (Celtic and Roman ancestry) we set an agreed and affordable figure to cover all the presents, then we each buy our own present which we unwrap on Xmas eve. This way, everyone gets only what they want and need plus cheer and gratitude. (Surely there invariably is someone who cheats and buys a present worth more than the agreed sum but we all pretend not to know its retail value or just compliment them on their bargain hunting technique😉) On my Father’s side of the family (of Anglo-Saxon descent) we plan and select just one present to surprise the recipient on Xmas day with targeted choices: a book to an avid reader, a warm item of clothing to someone who dreads the chill, a selection of brews to a tea-drinker, a home-made treat to a chocolate fiend, a hand cream to a luxury lover. To my knowledge, no-one in my whole family ever got into debt over Xmas presents. A peaceful and loving Xmas to you all. 🎄⛪🎁
Every year we buy a few needed items from our local consignment store. Everyone wins. We retired early and live a debt free life. Sold the big house in a large city bought a smaller house in a small city. We learned how to garden and can foods. We cook healthy meals. We walk every where we can. We have a happy stress free life. This was our choice it may not be for everyone but it works for us. We are very grateful.
Hi! I'm Lakmal from Sri Lanka (lady). Watch your videos. Learnt a lot and follow them. Decluttering my home. Tiresome but feel great. Thank you! Stay safe! Bless you and family!
I sent a gift to my love today! guess what? I made the healthiest loaf cake + the healthiest jam .. and I put them in glass containers and also I used a a very beautiful card I had kept for years ... I love gifts that don't add to what we have .. but they r consumed in the moment .... bring me many many flowers, bring me what I can eat and enjoy (healthy/no allergy), bring me lovely plants.
Thank you, Joshua, for this message. My family has always overdone Christmas gifts, but last year I convinced my family not to exchange gifts. It was such a blessing, and everyone actually loved it. It allowed us to enjoy the holiday rather than be stressed. I’m trying to make this Christmas gift-free again. Or do minimal gifts in a very thoughtful and meaningful way. Let’s see how it goes :) Merry Christmas, everybody!
buy tins or trays or plates at thrift stores, reuse, recycle. Another idea is to leave a little note if they want it refilled for next year to return the tin to you🎁🎄💖
We are a family of 6-our Christmas budget is $100 per person and $100 for “special” foods. We save this thru the year so we don’t have debt. Our 4 children draw names and only buy for one person. This eases a lot of “I need to buy something for her too” stress:). Christmas is a day of being together rather than “what did you get me?” A day of jammies, puzzles, food and laughter!
We always set a budget, never going into debt-ever. As a pastors wife, my husband and I send out Christmas cards to our congregation. The church as a whole makes cookie trays for the neighbors and shut ins. We also make goodie bags for our shut ins and nursing home friends that we minister to. Christmas is about Christ and spreading love and the gospel. I love the decorations, trees,traditions, and gift giving, but most of all I enjoy seeing others smile and Christ love being shared.
Great advice ! I’m giving my teen children the gift of learning less is more. We share traditions like gingerbread houses, cookie decorating, looking at lights, making gifts for neighbors. We give to charity and choose Toys for Tots. We exchange gifts, but not too many, and not big. Mostly things we need.
This is a very timely video as I was just thinking about adding a few more gifts to what I had already planned to give. Because we are not visiting family this year, I am tempted to spend more on gifts. I know that these purchases will likely end up adding to their clutter. Thanks for reminding me to stick to my plan.
@@lizziemcdougall2767 awww u r welcome. Praying for u guys. Not getting to be w those u love is hard. 😥 God does more than we can imagine or dream of ...praying that u see Him at work in your life 🙏 That He comforts each of u in a very unique special way.
✨My Dad already has everything. But I'm not wandering department store aisles searching for his gift... He's getting coupons for my homemade oatmeal raisin cookies he can 'cash in' throughout the year🍪✨
This is our first year with our 3 children (2 teens & 1 adult son) that I have pushed secret Santa. Nice and simple. We will all receive 1 gift. Done!! Our time will be focused on hanging out, eating and creating memories 😍🎄🇦🇺
Thank you for all of your logical and sensible advice. I have saved stacks of time and money since I started listening to your channel. The Christmas advice is especially helpful. Happy Birthday, by the way. My birthday today too !!
Oh my goodness! I was literally thinking I need to find a way of telling people to stop buying us gifts and then the next sentence was all about just that!
I need to forward this to a few people. I’ve managed to whittle my gift exchange list down and it feels so good to be rid of such an unnecessary and frankly, wasteful, chore. My people do not need anything 😂😂🎄🙏🏻
7 Signs: 1. Still paying off last year's gifts (credit/interest payments). 2. The person you are shopping for already has everything. 3. The person you are shopping for has requested- No Gifts! 4. The person you are shopping for has a clutter problem. Perhaps gift them with "non-materials" (Quote from Becker: "The average American home now has 300,000 things inside of it. Possessions are a burden to us. They drain money, time, focus, and energy and they add stress"). 5. Self-gifting. If the only person left on the list is you, it's time to stop. 6. Your digging into your savings. 7. If you think one more gift is needed to create the perfect holiday. That is what marketers want us to believe but it is not true.
I have two older brothers that have everything and they do soooo much for me. They are the best brothers ever. This year they will be receiving a basket with my deluxe frosted sugar cookies, spicy Chex mix and a cheese ball rolled in dried beef with crackers. It's all homemade and they enjoy this very much. It's my way of being grateful for them. I also do this for a few of my wonderful friends. I deliver it on December 24th so they don't go out and buy me anything. Merry Christmas!
Hey! I think I gave all my clothes today away. Took to donate center. I was separating yea or nay. I think I mixed them together . Nice dress shirts . Carried them out to my car . And dropped them off . Leather jacket . Well . I did it . Praise God. . I have jeans . And 3 shirts I left in another closet space . Oh wow! I can. !!! Believe I did it.
Our 'children' are all over 18. Thanks be to God. No more tinsel, no more gifts. No more holiday crowds. Just a family meal together in the content state of a full belly and a full heart. Feeling VERY blessed. Christmas madness is no longer part of our lives, just the focus on where it should be.
Years ago, Christmas wasn't anything like it is now. Even when my mother was a child, people didn't get loads of gifts like they do now. People certainly didn't go broke. She received things like oranges in her stocking. It was more homemade gifts, maybe a purchased gift but a lot less prevalent.
Great video! I'm rereading The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own. I like how it's simply written, and is overall simple like minimalism 😁 Some people who don't want gifts would rather have the gift of an experience!
Love watching you're channel Joshua. I would love to see some input from your lovely wife too. I asked my family to give me a memory and the gift of time rather than material items. It has worked out very well. Happy holidays to your beautiful family.
It is fun that you talk about people that don’t want gifts. I am one that says no gifts for me and they would give me things I don’t want or needed. So now I just say to give me a gift card to my favorite grocery store. Then I take the image of the meal I made with what I buy and send a photo to the person that gifted the gift card. It seem to work and they are happy.
During this time of year as well as this time in history with covid 19, I believe the best thing to do is show kindness to all and give to the needy who are struggling to put food on their tables or pay their essential bills for heat or hydro. I wish everyone a safe, healthy and peaceful Holiday. :-)
That’s right! We told our family that we don’t need anything for the holiday season, and that if they were going to get something to the kids for it to be clothing because they already have so many toys thank G-d.
omg we are spending way to much! I don´t need anything i have everything i need , I´m a minimalist and i love how it makes me feel. And i´m still decluttering i´m always finding stuff to get rid off!! If i need something i´ll let them know. Love your channel
So true! And Christmas is family time😊. In our family, we adults don't buy each other gifts.. We buy ourselves a gift for max 20 € each.. Wrap it "oddly" and after our family dinner, we sit together and the rest of the family has to guess what you bought yourself by feeling it and then each person is allowed 3 guesses.. After the first round, if noone has guessed, then they can ask questions.. It is a lot of fun! This year we will do it via video due to being apart! (if we are together we also share the food and drink costs.. Every family brings something from the shopping list). And for the children, we have an € limit from each family for each child. So if eg my son wants a big Lego set for eg 90€... He gets it as one "family" present by putting the money from everyone together. It's great... That way, the kids get what they really wish for and it is only 1 gift... So no clutter! (if the gift they want is even more expensive... Then they have to save and add their Birthday money to it, and any other money they have saved eg holiday money, Easter treat, pocket money, tooth fairy .. Etc).. They always get their stocking at Christmas with 1) a book, 2) eg a toy (Max 30€), 3)a DVD or CD, 4) chocolate/ sweet treat and 5) savory treats and a homemade Advent calendar with little edible treats.. So they always have something to open if the main gift is just the money because they are saving for something bigger! (and my kids get excited when they get money!). That way Christmas is not a financial burden, we don't have excess stuff, and never buy stuff on credit or from savings!... It is how I grew up to....and I love it.. Because it also teaches the children the value of things and the benefits of saving eg to buy something bigger/more expensive. My oldest always saved all his money over the years.. And only bought what he really wanted (eg he didn't spend his money on holiday just because he was given holiday money, if their was nothing he "really" wanted).. And with 13 he had saved enough to buy his own computer... He was very proud!
My favorite gift to give is interesting snacks. I made a snack box for my dad this year for Christmas full of unusual things I think he’d like. We talk about food fairly often, so I know his favorite flavors and I can still make it a personal and thoughtful gift. My favorite place to get these things is Cost Plus World Market.
I LOVE CHRISTMAS, But I totally agree lol. My wife and I been together for 17 yrs. It's gotten to a point where we just buy each other a gift just to buy it. Last yr was the first yr I just booked us a vacation as a gift.
I’m sure every parent knows the feeling of getting their kids gifts only for us to return some later , clean up after them , or watch the kids use them for a week and still complain they’re bored . Then we get upset with them . But we fell for the trap along with them that having that item will actually fill that void and make them happy . It’s our responsibility to be wise enough to know that as we’re being bombarded with ads on every side .
We have started buying the gift of experiences rather then physical gifts. Creating memories, especially for children, is wonderful rather then giving things they might already have in excess of. Merry Christmas Joshua and family 🌲❤️x
What you say is so true and I'd be happy to receive less or no gifts. It amazes me how much money people spend at Christmas and how stressed out they are.
Several decades ago our church started an Alternative Christmas Market. Instead of another tie for Uncle Albert, you can donate that money to one of several appropriate charities and give him a card telling him of the gift. This has solved my quandaries about what to get for cousins I hardly ever get to see. Everybody feels better! Kathy
My family and friends have started doing DIY vouchers for experiences/time together on projects that are important to us - "I will help you declutter 1 room" "We will go for a nice walk in nature" ... This kind of thing. Sounds totally cheap but actually it's wonderful to spend time with each other rather than spend money we don't have on stuff we don't need and then feel terrible because our houses are full of junk
True. But with children it is much more difficult, because they expect to find a bunch of gifts under christmas tree. If not, they will be sad and depressed and think you do not love them any more. For them love is equal to the number of gifts they get. Unfortunately, we live in the consumer society which is obsessed with material possession. You can hardly protect your children from adverse effect of TV commerials a stuff like this.
Another GREAT reminder and video! Still have not bought myself one damn gift! Yay! I AM changing. I have switched my request too. Got some free socks and now all I want for Christmas is some maple syrup. How lovely and simple is that?
I went a little overboard this year for my son because it’s the first year he understands the concept of Santa Clause and the idea that there will be gifts left for him by Santa and I want him to love his gifts :s . I didn’t go too too much overboard but definitely a lot more than last year when he didn’t really understand yet. I think I just got him one book last year. But I was also making less money then. I didn’t dip into savings but I have a feeling I might have to next month if we don’t have enough for food and rent and everything
I didn’t realize how high the percents were but for 38% of us the shopping never ends. Even simplified I have an endless supply of stuff. Our houses get tired of holding all the things.
Joshua, you are an absolute gift (and gem) to all of us. Thank you. Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family. Thank you for all you share with us.
I don't buy gifts for adults, but last year my then 5 year old daughter and I made little Christmas tree ornaments from clay and gave them to family, last year it was a Santa, this year we are making stars. We went to my parents house on the weekend and she saw her ornament on the tree 🎄, she was so happy and proud and I know that my parents love it as well. It was made and given with love. I always prefer home made edible goods as gifts 😉😋.
I have often felt let down by Christmas. My family gathers together for a big meal. But I feel sad, because my siblings and I don't have much in common anymore, and we are not as close as we once were. My husband's family does a gift exchange where you write down gift requests. But to me, if you asked for it, it's not much of a gift. I have kind of taken the lead in starting new traditions in our house: attending the Christmas tree lighting at a nearby Christian college, doing a nightly Jesse Tree advent activity, singing Christmas hymns with my kids, making things to give to others from whom we expect nothing in return... Grateful that Christmas doesn't center around presents for me.
I asked kindly for all my family members to not gift me anything. They didn't listen and although I'm thankful for the time they spend picking it out and buying the gift I am still upset I still recieved some. My reasons are my family is the best gift I've ever received. A gift is my father working for us and to have hot water and a bed to sleep In.
My son loves board games, this year instead of buying, I'm making him one. It's something we enjoy as a family and will create fond memories for the future ♥️
Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that my new book, Things That Matter, is finally here. I put my heart into it, and I can’t wait to share it with you. You can pick up a copy at www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/676394/things-that-matter-by-joshua-becker/
The best gift is the gift of your time, peace of mind, and the gift of giving to the less fortunate.
Wise words.
Beautifully said.
I wish my family knew this.
Casey Burns Investing Yes absolutely. This Xmas I have given presents to sick children in hospital. The gift for me is seeing them smile and that stays with me long term then a momentary thrill from a material thing.
Well said. We should help the unfortunate because we are blessed to be fortunate among tge unfortunate. Merry xmas and may god bless you.
The greatest Christmas gift is being around your family members that priceless.
My husband and I have lost our business this year in the UK. But we have a roof over our heads, food in the cupboard and our family and friends are healthy - we are rich in so many ways. Things that are priceless mean so much. Thanks for your inspiration 😊
Dibbs Middleditch Gratitude is a gift in itself 🙏❤️
@@greenkitty82 thank you 😊
Indeed you are my friend. God bless you.
12/19/20....YOUR ATTITUDE IS WONDERFUL. You have your health + your home + your family & friends. YOU ARE RICH!
GOD BLESS YOU & YOURS NOW + FOREVERMORE!
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM central FL. 🇺🇸
@@eileeneclark9011 thank you so much. Have got myself a little job in a supermarket just stacking shelves. I'm not too proud to do what's necessary to help my family. Thanks for your kindness xx
One of the best gifts I have been given comes from my daughter. She has made it her goal to phone me 3-4 times a week. Sometimes we only talk for 10 or 15 minutes and sometimes we talked for an hour. If she’s busy she doesn’t call and I don’t worry about it but I know that she’ll be calling in a day or so. It is such a comfort to me to know that she thinks about me and calls on a regular basis and it keeps us in touch with each other. It didn’t cost her anything except her time and it’s brought us much closer together.
I am so tired of all this commercialism! Christmas is a time of peace and showing gratitude and love.🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing this. I agree with you. I wish my husband's family would get this idea. Why do I need to buy my mother-in-law another pair of pajamas when she doesn't need them. She's well off and can buy what she needs or wants. We can buy what we need as well. We'd rather have an experience as a family, but no one wants to do this. It's so frustrating.
A great gift I get my parents every year is a bird seed wreath from my local garden center! It’s perfect!
They get to enjoy watching the winter birds in their backyard and I’m not contributing to clutter! ❤️
I always tell my son, (sincerely) that his presence is my present.
My parents always told us the same.
Aaaawwww I'm going to remember that. Wow sweet sweet true words.
I tell my kids I want 3-4x6 pictures, 1 for Mothers Day of just my child, 1 for my birthday that is a picture of them and or their family doing something fun and 1 for Christmas, a family photo of them, their spouses and children. I tell them, initially buy me 3 4x6 inch photos and any frame of their choice including first photo....then I tell them after that, they can get an envelope decorated or not, a letter on/ in it or not and that's all I want. My kids are not going to go crazy, get sick or go in debt to buy me gifts. I want memories as gifts!
@@lisab.1559 that’s a great idea! I will try that with my kids. Thank you
"The shopping never ends".....pretty much sums it all up! Thank You Joshua! We as a society do NOT need more stuff, we need each other. People matter!
Lisa B. Absolutely and in these times more then ever we need to stick together and pull each other up. Material objects mean little to me anyway, it's just useless junk 90% of the time. The joy you can give to others through your kindness and love is what true gifts are.
@@greenkitty82 Thank You for the kind words! We as a society do need to stick together, because people matter most. Stuff overwhelms me, yet I have lived my life consuming as I was taught this as a child. I am wanting to be on the minimalism road more then ever, but it will be a process to get my big family there fully....but not giving up.
Lisa B. You're welcome. Nothing is more important in life then those around us but unfortunately as a society we have had conditioned beliefs programmed into us that consumerism and constant buying will make us happy when it doesn't. It may give you a short burst of joy but it never lasts. I consume only what I need and will be using as I can't stand clutter. It clutters the mind whereas if you live more simply and use your life to be of service to others you will be happier. I was told to be the example and those who see the light in it will follow you. 🙏
@@greenkitty82 Such wise words! I live in a well organized home, but so much stuff it makes me sick. I have wanted less, way less for as long as I can remember. I was shamed by some relatives for not wanting to partake in consummerism, people looked at me like I was some kind of freak. Honestly, I did not care about that, but got tired of the bullying because I battle health problems, so I let them all have their way. But over the last decade I began to remove certain things slowly. I am a Christian, so I got little value from TV, so I got rid of cable. My Hubby and I only had cable a few years of our nearly 32 years together, but my relatives got angry....how could we do that. Even though, they do not live with us, they came over expecting TV...uh no, my house, my rules. I simplified my life more, Hubby and I branched out and chose our own church, began homeschooling, removed stuff from our home we felt was unhonoring to God, we switched 100% to Christian music and movies, we paired down our schedule to just a 1-2 activities, we gave up eating out and instead made our own meals, packed a cooler and lunches for day trips, we chose to stay home more often, we ended huge birthday bashes and massive holidays we used to host at our home, we simplified our technology and got flip phones, we stopped trying to help everyone who asked....we were the go to people for volunteering, to solve and fix people problems with their lives and actual homes. I mean if anyone, everyone had an issue, they called us...regardless of whether they could take care of their issues themselves, we were expected to drop everything and come. People had myself and my Hubby running around day and night, we had virtually no boundaries up, tending to their every whim and we were kind, loving people just wanting to help but ultimately running ourselves into the ground. I mean the minimalism began with how we were living, now we are beginning in our home even more...but we got a long way to go. We even began last year, minimizing gifts and parties for our kids. We have 6 kids ages 24-7 and of those kids, 4 we adopted and we are in process to adopt 1 more again. What we have given up so far has made it possible to have our children. Yes, people expect still we will jump, but now the answer is NO! I had a neck injury and spinal neck surgery in 2018, got it from massive stress....no way will I let any of this maximized lifestyle continue. If it were up to me, I would get a truck and dumpit all, but I know it needs to be a gradual process for my kids. But still, I LOVE Less everything. People look at minimalism as this big joke, well I say the bigger thing is, how much stress, debt and health problems is it causing you keeping it all going? How's it working for you? Is life merely a rush job, because consuming is all about the next big thing and theres always yet another big thing we HAVE to have! Is standing in line for HOURS overnight, shivering in the cold WORTH it for the fun hysteria of a
Piece of plastic? I mean it sickens me. I have seen the destruction, literally of my very body trying to keep it all going. And in all honesty, I am built to run, move and go,...yet I broke my neck, I developed over a dozen medical problems BECAUSE I was doing, living, keeping up too much! I pray people see minimalism is not just better and simper but can keep you from stress, debt, illness, a joyless life, feeling endlessly overwhelmed. Minimalism can improve anxiety, depression, social interactions, health, every aspect of our lives just because simpler makes our minds, lives, homes, schedules easier and for all purposes can improve overall quality of life.
Lisa B. It sounds like you've got a good organised system going on in life which is good. People usually poke fun at those doing different things to them because one it threatens them to see someone doing something different as it makes them question their own actions and two because they are so programmed by the culturescape and blueprint beliefs that they genuinely don't question anything or see anything outside of it. But all I've seen of consumerism in my life is anxiety and stress. Its not beneficial and it's also not an intelligent thing to do. I have to have compassion really because people are so scared of not being liked that they'll just go with the crowd to fit in and buy anything to fit in but being true to my values is more important to me then being liked. If people don't like you for who you are they are not people you need in life so people need to question do want to live a life of fear in pleasing others or think for themselves?. It's all a choice.
The year my family stopped doing gifts for adults was the beat year ever! We only buy for the kids (and if i had it completely my way we wouldnt do niece and nephew gifts, but its more important to maintain relationships than be picky). It is so much less stress. But i do find myself shopping in October, just to get it over with, which feels like the wrong sentiment for gift giving, but its the way society has created obligation around gift giving. My husband and i stopped doing all gifts all year around to each other and its wonderful!! We buy each other a surprise cake for our birthdays instead, and go out for a meal for other occasions. And i love him more for it! The gift of quality time is so much more special!
I tell my mother in law every year that I don’t want or need anything for Christmas (or any other time you give gifts)...she doesn’t listen and tells me “we show love by giving gifts.” “Gifts” is her love language, not mine, so she will find something for me and it will probably end up in the donation box. Thank you for the reminders!
Good gift ideas: A box of Hefty garbage bags to clean out stuff, gas cards to be able to drive to the donation centers to drop of stuff, "The More of Less," by Joshua Becker.
A lot of times you truly embarrass a person you give a gift to because they feel horrible that they didn't give you anything. Then they get self conscious and feel guilty. Another reason its time to stop buying gifts is when you feel like you have to.
I agree with that. Once, I put together a pretty basket filled with packets of cookies for an old lady neighbour at Christmas, and I was horrified when she bought me a gift from her pension. She hardly had money in the first place, that's why a made her the basket. I never did it again. I learned people feel uncomfortable getting gifts and feel they have to give one back ☹️
I have a friend that always buys us something every year even when I tell her not too. I tell her we don’t have the money to buy gifts for her family. So please don’t buy us anything. Then she makes me feel guilty because I didn’t get them anything.
I once bought an expensive Pandora charm for a friend when she hyped up the gift she bought me so I thought I had to buy something really great. It turned out to be a mug. I was so disappointed and had felt completely deceived, she had made out it was expensive.
@@Darlyne-ng7np she doesn't make you feel that way. Own your own feelings. Gift giving is not reciprocal- that's called a "trade".
Your advise for shopping, is correct. I stoped the shopping years ago ; my family thought I did wrong. So each year I celebrate Jesus as normal, and stay at home enjoying my time and reading the word. Attend church services. And visit with my neighbor. We are all family
Many thanks to Joshua for his wise words and wishes.
💖
Here’s what we do for Xmas… On my Mother’s side of the family (Celtic and Roman ancestry) we set an agreed and affordable figure to cover all the presents, then we each buy our own present which we unwrap on Xmas eve.
This way, everyone gets only what they want and need plus cheer and gratitude. (Surely there invariably is someone who cheats and buys a present worth more than the agreed sum but we all pretend not to know its retail value or just compliment them on their bargain hunting technique😉)
On my Father’s side of the family (of Anglo-Saxon descent) we plan and select just one present to surprise the recipient on Xmas day with targeted choices: a book to an avid reader, a warm item of clothing to someone who dreads the chill, a selection of brews to a tea-drinker, a home-made treat to a chocolate fiend, a hand cream to a luxury lover.
To my knowledge, no-one in my whole family ever got into debt over Xmas presents.
A peaceful and loving Xmas to you all. 🎄⛪🎁
Every year we buy a few needed items from our local consignment store. Everyone wins. We retired early and live a debt free life. Sold the big house in a large city bought a smaller house in a small city. We learned how to garden and can foods. We cook healthy meals. We walk every where we can. We have a happy stress free life. This was our choice it may not be for everyone but it works for us. We are very grateful.
Hi! I'm Lakmal from Sri Lanka (lady). Watch your videos. Learnt a lot and follow them. Decluttering my home. Tiresome but feel great. Thank you! Stay safe! Bless you and family!
When you are loved, every day is Christmas 🎄
Truth
I sent a gift to my love today! guess what? I made the healthiest loaf cake + the healthiest jam .. and I put them in glass containers and also I used a a very beautiful card I had kept for years ... I love gifts that don't add to what we have .. but they r consumed in the moment .... bring me many many flowers, bring me what I can eat and enjoy (healthy/no allergy), bring me lovely plants.
Thank you, Joshua, for this message. My family has always overdone Christmas gifts, but last year I convinced my family not to exchange gifts. It was such a blessing, and everyone actually loved it. It allowed us to enjoy the holiday rather than be stressed.
I’m trying to make this Christmas gift-free again. Or do minimal gifts in a very thoughtful and meaningful way.
Let’s see how it goes :)
Merry Christmas, everybody!
I bake cookies and some sweets. Buy a cute box in a dollar tree. I always received a good compliment for. I value more than family and friends times.
buy tins or trays or plates at thrift stores, reuse, recycle. Another idea is to leave a little note if they want it refilled for next year to return the tin to you🎁🎄💖
We are a family of 6-our Christmas budget is $100 per person and $100 for “special” foods. We save this thru the year so we don’t have debt. Our 4 children draw names and only buy for one person. This eases a lot of “I need to buy something for her too” stress:). Christmas is a day of being together rather than “what did you get me?” A day of jammies, puzzles, food and laughter!
I have made fantastic gift for my son and his girlfriend (living together) nuts, coffee, tea, olive oil, jam, wine etc. 🎄🎁
We always set a budget, never going into debt-ever.
As a pastors wife, my husband and I send out Christmas cards to our congregation. The church as a whole makes cookie trays for the neighbors and shut ins. We also make goodie bags for our shut ins and nursing home friends that we minister to.
Christmas is about Christ and spreading love and the gospel. I love the decorations, trees,traditions, and gift giving, but most of all I enjoy seeing others smile and Christ love being shared.
Great advice ! I’m giving my teen children the gift of learning less is more. We share traditions like gingerbread houses, cookie decorating, looking at lights, making gifts for neighbors. We give to charity and choose Toys for Tots. We exchange gifts, but not too many, and not big. Mostly things we need.
This is a very timely video as I was just thinking about adding a few more gifts to what I had already planned to give. Because we are not visiting family this year, I am tempted to spend more on gifts. I know that these purchases will likely end up adding to their clutter. Thanks for reminding me to stick to my plan.
Glad it was helpful!
Add additional gifts 🎁 of prayers for them. Write each person a note and include one of your favorite memories w them ❤
@@designdoctor247 Excellent advice! Thanks for replying.
@@lizziemcdougall2767 awww u r welcome. Praying for u guys. Not getting to be w those u love is hard. 😥
God does more than we can imagine or dream of ...praying that u see Him at work in your life 🙏 That He comforts each of u in a very unique special way.
✨My Dad already has everything. But I'm not wandering department store aisles searching for his gift... He's getting coupons for my homemade oatmeal raisin cookies he can 'cash in' throughout the year🍪✨
Same here. I make old family recipes, (cookies, Jams, Breads etc.) I also give coupons for lunch dates, walks, visits to museums and Art Galleries.
Great idea, thanks!
Thanks for the idea. I will gift favorite meal tickets.
A donation in someone's name to a cause related to something they care about is a great idea
This is our first year with our 3 children (2 teens & 1 adult son) that I have pushed secret Santa. Nice and simple. We will all receive 1 gift. Done!! Our time will be focused on hanging out, eating and creating memories 😍🎄🇦🇺
Thank you for all of your logical and sensible advice. I have saved stacks of time and money since I started listening to your channel.
The Christmas advice is especially helpful.
Happy Birthday, by the way. My birthday today too !!
Because of Amazon Christmas is everyday for a lot of people
Biggest poluter. Look for video about their return policy and how they dispose of it. Disgusting.
Sooo much truth in this!!
I appreciate your deliberate way of speaking. I can follow along easily and it gives more weight to what is being said.
So true! He has an excellent delivery.
Oh my goodness! I was literally thinking I need to find a way of telling people to stop buying us gifts and then the next sentence was all about just that!
I need to forward this to a few people. I’ve managed to whittle my gift exchange list down and it feels so good to be rid of such an unnecessary and frankly, wasteful, chore. My people do not need anything 😂😂🎄🙏🏻
7 Signs:
1. Still paying off last year's gifts (credit/interest payments).
2. The person you are shopping for already has everything.
3. The person you are shopping for has requested- No Gifts!
4. The person you are shopping for has a clutter problem. Perhaps gift them with "non-materials" (Quote from Becker: "The average American home now has 300,000 things inside of it. Possessions are a burden to us. They drain money, time, focus, and energy and they add stress").
5. Self-gifting. If the only person left on the list is you, it's time to stop.
6. Your digging into your savings.
7. If you think one more gift is needed to create the perfect holiday. That is what marketers want us to believe but it is not true.
I have two older brothers that have everything and they do soooo much for me. They are the best brothers ever. This year they will be receiving a basket with my deluxe frosted sugar cookies, spicy Chex mix and a cheese ball rolled in dried beef with crackers. It's all homemade and they enjoy this very much. It's my way of being grateful for them. I also do this for a few of my wonderful friends. I deliver it on December 24th so they don't go out and buy me anything. Merry Christmas!
Hey! I think I gave all my clothes today away. Took to donate center.
I was separating yea or nay. I think I mixed them together . Nice dress shirts . Carried them out to my car . And dropped them off . Leather jacket .
Well . I did it . Praise God. .
I have jeans . And 3 shirts I left in another closet space .
Oh wow! I can. !!! Believe I did it.
Our 'children' are all over 18. Thanks be to God. No more tinsel, no more gifts. No more holiday crowds. Just a family meal together in the content state of a full belly and a full heart. Feeling VERY blessed. Christmas madness is no longer part of our lives, just the focus on where it should be.
Thank you Joshua. God bless you and your love ones. 🙏 Please don't leave us alone through out the season.
Great advice! Happy holidays!
Well said!
I needed to here this today. Thanks 😊
Years ago, Christmas wasn't anything like it is now. Even when my mother was a child, people didn't get loads of gifts like they do now. People certainly didn't go broke. She received things like oranges in her stocking. It was more homemade gifts, maybe a purchased gift but a lot less prevalent.
True so so true! It's the little things! And Moments! Thank you!
Great video! I'm rereading The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own. I like how it's simply written, and is overall simple like minimalism 😁 Some people who don't want gifts would rather have the gift of an experience!
Love watching you're channel Joshua. I would love to see some input from your lovely wife too. I asked my family to give me a memory and the gift of time rather than material items. It has worked out very well. Happy holidays to your beautiful family.
Great suggestion. Happy holiday to you and yours as well.
Christians are celebrating Jesus and not consumerism... Let's stay together and forget about materialism at least one season ✌️🎉🎄
Wow. I never thought of it that way we are celebrating consumerism wow so true
Jesus is the reason for the season!
This has helped shift my buying totally shifted my thinking. Wow wow wow.
@@carlav8357 🙏 Amen May God be Glorified.
🙏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🤗🤗🤗
It is fun that you talk about people that don’t want gifts. I am one that says no gifts for me and they would give me things I don’t want or needed. So now I just say to give me a gift card to my favorite grocery store. Then I take the image of the meal I made with what I buy and send a photo to the person that gifted the gift card. It seem to work and they are happy.
I agree with you. Too many people get up in the season of gift giving .
Joy and Peace can’t be bought, said the wiseman
During this time of year as well as this time in history with covid 19, I believe the best thing to do is show kindness to all and give to the needy who are struggling to put food on their tables or pay their essential bills for heat or hydro. I wish everyone a safe, healthy and peaceful Holiday. :-)
A hug from my family is all I want for Christmas!
That’s right! We told our family that we don’t need anything for the holiday season, and that if they were going to get something to the kids for it to be clothing because they already have so many toys thank G-d.
omg we are spending way to much! I don´t need anything i have everything i need , I´m a minimalist and i love how it makes me feel. And i´m still decluttering i´m always finding stuff to get rid off!! If i need something i´ll let them know. Love your channel
So true! And Christmas is family time😊.
In our family, we adults don't buy each other gifts.. We buy ourselves a gift for max 20 € each.. Wrap it "oddly" and after our family dinner, we sit together and the rest of the family has to guess what you bought yourself by feeling it and then each person is allowed 3 guesses.. After the first round, if noone has guessed, then they can ask questions.. It is a lot of fun! This year we will do it via video due to being apart! (if we are together we also share the food and drink costs.. Every family brings something from the shopping list).
And for the children, we have an € limit from each family for each child. So if eg my son wants a big Lego set for eg 90€... He gets it as one "family" present by putting the money from everyone together. It's great... That way, the kids get what they really wish for and it is only 1 gift... So no clutter!
(if the gift they want is even more expensive... Then they have to save and add their Birthday money to it, and any other money they have saved eg holiday money, Easter treat, pocket money, tooth fairy .. Etc).. They always get their stocking at Christmas with 1) a book, 2) eg a toy (Max 30€), 3)a DVD or CD, 4) chocolate/ sweet treat and 5) savory treats and a homemade Advent calendar with little edible treats.. So they always have something to open if the main gift is just the money because they are saving for something bigger! (and my kids get excited when they get money!).
That way Christmas is not a financial burden, we don't have excess stuff, and never buy stuff on credit or from savings!... It is how I grew up to....and I love it.. Because it also teaches the children the value of things and the benefits of saving eg to buy something bigger/more expensive. My oldest always saved all his money over the years.. And only bought what he really wanted (eg he didn't spend his money on holiday just because he was given holiday money, if their was nothing he "really" wanted).. And with 13 he had saved enough to buy his own computer... He was very proud!
Amen brother!!!
My dad sent us flowers. Perfect!
My favorite gift to give is interesting snacks. I made a snack box for my dad this year for Christmas full of unusual things I think he’d like. We talk about food fairly often, so I know his favorite flavors and I can still make it a personal and thoughtful gift. My favorite place to get these things is Cost Plus World Market.
I LOVE CHRISTMAS, But I totally agree lol. My wife and I been together for 17 yrs. It's gotten to a point where we just buy each other a gift just to buy it. Last yr was the first yr I just booked us a vacation as a gift.
I’m sure every parent knows the feeling of getting their kids gifts only for us to return some later , clean up after them , or watch the kids use them for a week and still complain they’re bored . Then we get upset with them . But we fell for the trap along with them that having that item will actually fill that void and make them happy . It’s our responsibility to be wise enough to know that as we’re being bombarded with ads on every side .
We have started buying the gift of experiences rather then physical gifts. Creating memories, especially for children, is wonderful rather then giving things they might already have in excess of. Merry Christmas Joshua and family 🌲❤️x
Agree, great message in this video. Thanks,
I am gl@d i saw this video. I am closing my walet now. Thank you Joshua. You are right we got everything we need.
I can't agree more.
What you say is so true and I'd be happy to receive less or no gifts. It amazes me how much money people spend at Christmas and how stressed out they are.
Thank you for putting into words what’s been on my mind for quite some time now ❤️
You are so welcome.
I’m so following your advise . I’m new to minimalist life.
All so true, have a Merry Christmas 🎄
Several decades ago our church started an Alternative Christmas Market. Instead of another tie for Uncle Albert, you can donate that money to one of several appropriate charities and give him a card telling him of the gift. This has solved my quandaries about what to get for cousins I hardly ever get to see. Everybody feels better! Kathy
My family and friends have started doing DIY vouchers for experiences/time together on projects that are important to us - "I will help you declutter 1 room" "We will go for a nice walk in nature" ... This kind of thing. Sounds totally cheap but actually it's wonderful to spend time with each other rather than spend money we don't have on stuff we don't need and then feel terrible because our houses are full of junk
Sharing your wonderful talk as a Advent Season gift to my folks.Stay blessed as always,Joshua.👌Thank you.
My 9-year old happily took cash tonight for the fourth night of Hannukkah! (We are decluttering for our first open house next weekend.)
True. But with children it is much more difficult, because they expect to find a bunch of gifts under christmas tree. If not, they will be sad and depressed and think you do not love them any more. For them love is equal to the number of gifts they get. Unfortunately, we live in the consumer society which is obsessed with material possession. You can hardly protect your children from adverse effect of TV commerials a stuff like this.
Another GREAT reminder and video! Still have not bought myself one damn gift! Yay! I AM changing. I have switched my request too. Got some free socks and now all I want for Christmas is some maple syrup. How lovely and simple is that?
I removed my kitchen table . To declutter . So not to be bothered by it. Any longer. Open floor space , can now mop the floor .
I got rid of my coffee table for space to workout.
I did too but by husband needed a table to unload his daily work stuff.
Another great video Joshua! Thank you!
My husband and I have been talking about this recently so your video is very timely. Thanks for this Joshua.
Thanks for watching.
I went a little overboard this year for my son because it’s the first year he understands the concept of Santa Clause and the idea that there will be gifts left for him by Santa and I want him to love his gifts :s . I didn’t go too too much overboard but definitely a lot more than last year when he didn’t really understand yet. I think I just got him one book last year. But I was also making less money then. I didn’t dip into savings but I have a feeling I might have to next month if we don’t have enough for food and rent and everything
Thanks for all your tips, they are lifechanging!
I didn’t realize how high the percents were but for 38% of us the shopping never ends. Even simplified I have an endless supply of stuff. Our houses get tired of holding all the things.
Great advise as Always!👍🏼
Joshua, you are an absolute gift (and gem) to all of us. Thank you. Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family. Thank you for all you share with us.
Merry Christmas back at you Dana.
Bravo! So thought provoking and accurate.
Excellent!! Well put over 😁😁
Love this! Can we share this with every person in America!
I don't buy gifts for adults, but last year my then 5 year old daughter and I made little Christmas tree ornaments from clay and gave them to family, last year it was a Santa, this year we are making stars. We went to my parents house on the weekend and she saw her ornament on the tree 🎄, she was so happy and proud and I know that my parents love it as well. It was made and given with love. I always prefer home made edible goods as gifts 😉😋.
Thankyou for your common sence helping people is great .
Thank you for the encouraging words. I appreciate them very much.
I have often felt let down by Christmas. My family gathers together for a big meal. But I feel sad, because my siblings and I don't have much in common anymore, and we are not as close as we once were. My husband's family does a gift exchange where you write down gift requests. But to me, if you asked for it, it's not much of a gift. I have kind of taken the lead in starting new traditions in our house: attending the Christmas tree lighting at a nearby Christian college, doing a nightly Jesse Tree advent activity, singing Christmas hymns with my kids, making things to give to others from whom we expect nothing in return... Grateful that Christmas doesn't center around presents for me.
So valuable!! Thank you!!!!,♥️♥️♥️
Excellent dialogue JB 👍🏼 watching from Australia
Right. I always tell my mom to give me money instead of stuff I probably won't like or use 😕
Give people an experience!!!
Gift cards, money, theater or zoo tickets, date night out gift cards, & silver .. all great gifts 🎁 in my opinion.
Amen
So so true...🤔
I asked kindly for all my family members to not gift me anything. They didn't listen and although I'm thankful for the time they spend picking it out and buying the gift I am still upset I still recieved some. My reasons are my family is the best gift I've ever received. A gift is my father working for us and to have hot water and a bed to sleep In.
My son loves board games, this year instead of buying, I'm making him one. It's something we enjoy as a family and will create fond memories for the future ♥️
Your my rock.
His words should be chiseled in stone. I wish more people would pay heed.