How Do You Release a Trapped Anger?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ธ.ค. 2022
- 🔥How To Release The Anger | Rage Trapped in Your Body | Effects Of Suppress A
Do you struggle with managing anger? Learn how to release trapped anger in a healthy way with these expert tips. Your inner child matters, and it's important to address trauma for improved mental health. Stress management techniques can also help in anger management. Watch now to learn more! 🙏 People have various ways of responding to anger. While some people choose to verbally express their rage through shouting, cursing, arguing, or yelling, others choose to physically do so (throwing things, breaking objects, hitting walls, or getting into fights). Some people, on the other hand, choose to suppress their anger rather than expressing it in any way.
✨Very Special Thanks To Dr. Gabor Mate
🌟 Connect with Dr. Gabor Maté:
Website: drgabormate.com/
Twitter: @DrGaborMate
🔗 Helpful Links: 🔗
Find Support: National Helpline for Substance Abuse and Mental Health: www.samhsa.gov/find-help/nati...
Helpful Resources
Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Phone: 1-800-273-8255
🙏 FAIR-USE COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER
* Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, commenting, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.
#AngerManagement, #trauma, #healthyangerexpression, #DrGaborMaté, #communicationskills, emotional intelligence, #mentalhealth, self-improvement, personal growth, stress management, relationship advice, #GaborMate,
I knew, intellectually, that I was physically abused from an early age; the historical information provided while I was performing a task towards my Masters in counseling in 2002. In 2003, I went on a Vision Quest, 10 days, with 3 being solo, fasting time.
I EXPERIENCED, out in nature, in this group, part of the "Preverbal Rage" of very early years. No visions/images, just rageful misery. I was supported by a Psychologist and Body Worker, who were our guides.
I've struggled to integrate this since, and because it is such a potent energy-store, Depression becomes my experience. Early strategies for keeping it at bay are structural (personality), and though it's there, it's so ego-dystonic that I have found it very difficult. I came back and talked with my non-protective father about my experience. I've since realized that my FOO is not "down" with discussing, and that I was, and am, the scapegoat. Being that I'm 55 now, and just recently realized the calamity that was my upbringing; raised by traumatized and thus traumatizing people, with a sibling who is wounded in her own ways. We used to talk about our respective experiences, but years after mother died, she fawns with father, and it is very difficult. I tried to explain "emotional flashbacks", even provided video-links for understanding during this difficult process. Not happening, and it's really very difficult to feel, again, misunderstood, betrayed, and now, abandoned.
Point being, it is possible to process, but it's also hard to realize where/how we are still participating, and to respond rather than react.
It is my experience that your FOO, unless they're also on-board to do "the work", inhibits, unconsciously, the process. I've found out very late, it appears, and I hope that others are able, through Gabor, Pete Walker, attachment-styles, or whatever, that it really is NOT "what's wrong with you", but "what happened to you", and I have no doubt that for early trauma, "The Body Keeps the Score." I wouldn't have known that I was suppressing this if not for the aforementioned VQ.
Trippy life. Best to all.
Good luck! On a similar path, hard work.
@@notmarealnameboi Good luck to you as well then, and thank you.
Thank you very much for your vulnerability, it can’t be easy to say. Thanks for sharing your experience in here, thank you for your advised.
I Hope the best for you, bless you!
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thanks for the vid. Easier to say than to fully accept.
👍
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. We are similar age and fellow “escaped “ goats. My FOO is the same and unwilling to do the work. The siblings have added to the trauma with continued scapegoating after the narcissistic parent passed. Thankfully as I continue to heal I am realizing that I did not deserve the abuse. It was never my being the problem and it’s not my job to carry this weight anymore. I’m free now even if the siblings don’t want to join me and free themselves.
People do not care about your anger. You get angry they play the victim in a problem they created. The volcano analogy works for me. Absolutely true.
Growing up...my parents NEVER validated my emotions. I'm 53 years old now and they still don't. Crying wasn't allowed. Being upset or ANGRY definitely wasn't allowed. My sister and I were told to "BE QUIET." "STOP ACTING LIKE A BABY." And on and on. So THIS makes a ton of sense to me! It's actually so refreshing to hearI😊❤😊
Me too! I think my only emotional outlet was listening to music or sad movies.
Same here bro. Silenced and shut down.
I'm sorry 😔
Just don't go burning any villages to feel it warmth 😂
Now ur tough skin, flaunt it 💅 (half cup full?)
I was born dark in a white town. And the only colored kid in my school, life was hard. But it made me into the man I am today and I'm loved more then feared. But feared alot bc I'm so lovable ❤
Goodluck with life , make it ur bish.
We can fly through life, so why crawl?
I am 24 years old and I totally understand your situation. My parents didn't allow me to show my real emotions. And now, I am suffering with emotinal eating disorder, digestive system problems and so on. And I really don't know what to do with that situation
I really resonated with the woman who said she laughed when she was uncomfortable. As a child I laughed uncontrollably and innapropriately at times I was uncomfortable.
thanks for sharing your thoughts, bless you
Me too. I would freeze. I would laugh uncomfortably.
By the way, baba ganoush- oh yeah! One of my favourite foods ever!
Did you notice that she laughed two times when he called her attention to it? The mechanism is so strong and present at that level. She didn’t even noticed.
I to nervously laugh I can't control it and'. It makes me feel so uncomfortable.. I can sometimes notice in time and stop!
@@auntieegg8 I laughed when I was told my friend died. It wasn't funny - of course it wasn't funny - I felt so embarrassed and ashamed for laughing. But I couldn't help it. It's good to know it's not an uncommon response.
I have a lot of rage built up. I was taught my boundaries were not important. I had a toxic mother, a neglectful father. So over and over I tamp it down. So then when I'm truly upset I rage. I like to get alone and blow up. So then I don't hurt the people I love. The anger, the hurt, I've tamped it down so many times that it get explosive. I'm sure there is abuse I don't remember, I was taught to repress all the time, anger, hurt, etc... there was alot of abuse. I'm in counseling now, it's hard work.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability,. I am sorry for your what you gone through your parents.
Hope the best for you. Sending so much love to you ❤❤❤😘
i can relate to a lot of this. One of my concerns is in those most of anger where someone has crossed a boundary, the anger I feel is disproportionate to the event and 'too much' or 'uncivilised' to let out. It pent up anger from multiple situations triggered by one. How does one express this anger healthily? its a real issue because i continue suppressing out of a fear of over-expressing. thank you...
When I'm upset now, I get calm, I express my boundaries to friends or coworkers. When I'm alone again I write and let it out at home. So then I express it when I'm home alone, I can take a walk or whatever I need to do, so most of these letters I destroy, tear up throw away. When I'm done, I'm done. I move on. I'm expressing it in a way that doesn't hurt me, or other people. I cry when I'm angry, upset, sad. These are ways I can express more without hurting anyone. Even in jealousy or envy I've learned to recognize what I want out of life, relationships, everything. What these things show me are wants, and desires. I'm starting over, got rid of bad relationships and working on good ones. Have a tribe, so to speak, make new friends. One of my friends her kids are older, getting ready to leave the nest, so we agree to go see movies now and again. I want companionship without complications. Boom one problem solved.
@Vargolis Take up boxing maybe? Axe throwing? Chopping wood? Or look for a rage room in your area?
@@EMuro-wu7uy I think it sounds like you are doing great! We can't control the damage that was done to us in childhood, we can only learn to manage it, and at most, channel it. It sounds like you've been training yourself to do all that. Congratulations on all the hard work. All the best to you in your continuing growth and wisdom.
"The predators always know".....so true!
Thanks for watching dear!, bless you
I have suppressed anger and i can’t even listen to this for one minute without getting angry and rage.
I have decades of anger suppressed, its almost impossible to get rid of. I almost don't remember what its like not having it.
I look stoic all the time but if theres hostility or aggression directed towards me I unleash and get super-enraged. Even when someone I care about or a coworker is abused at work I have a strong urge to confront the abusive person and unload at them. I also get furious at managers or employers who disregard the abuse and allow it to continue.
Thank you for sharing your experience and being upfront about your difficulties. Recognizing and expressing feelings that have been suppressed for a long time requires bravery. It's understandable that decades of bottled-up rage might feel overpowering, and it's important to find suitable outlets for it.
While it is natural to feel protective and sympathetic toward individuals who are mistreated, it is important to address these situations with an open mind. Uncontrolled rage may not produce the desired result and may instead cause further complications.
Consider learning some skills for managing and releasing anger in a healthier way. Regular exercise, mindfulness or meditation practice, and getting professional support from a therapist or therapist can all give helpful tools for anger management.
Also, keep in mind that positive conversation and increasing awareness can be useful in dealing with workplace abuse. Seek out suitable reporting methods and communicate your concerns. You may help to make the environment safer and more respectful for everyone involved by doing so.
Take care of yourself and keep aspiring for inner peace and healthier emotional expression. Remember that change takes time, but with determination and support, you can achieve a better balance. Bless you
Yeah I get fired up about injustice and adults not behaving with compassion and maturity. Lights me right up and I have trouble keeping my articulate, self righteous mouth shut.
I suspect it's probably a gift to be highly tuned to the frequencies of magnanimous empathy, it has made me a good, loving teacher.. but is that sensitivity and emotional intelligence born of my desperate sense of my own injuries?
Because I think I am a bit desperate. I'm a mighty, grateful and lucky Australian wanderer with a beautiful family but I am bloody hurting. ❤️
@@paulrummery6905 Your sensitivity is rooted in your personal experiences, but it is also what allows you to connect profoundly with others. Remember that even those with the most powerful hearts may feel pain. Continue to spread love and positivity, and know that you're making a difference. 🌟❤
@@yourinnerchildmatters thanks for responding to me. We're all family and it's all one right? There's only love. 😘
@@paulrummery6905 yes we do 💫💕🙏
My mother was a strict religious, authoritarian witch. She took all her hidden anger out on me. She loved my brothers and would beat me, for fun, every day. She would have me go pick out the belt that “I wanted her to use” on me. I remember this ritual at my earliest memories. As an adult I tried talking to her about her creepy actions and how her abuse caused me to develop C-PTSD. She laughed at me and said “it wasn’t that bad”, “you was rebellious”, “I didn’t do all that” etc etc. I fully cut her out of my life. Haven’t spoken in years and I won’t go to her funeral. She tries to stay in control STILL by showing up at my sons house uninvited and talking bad about me. I honestly can’t wait for her to pass away
Thank you for your vulnerability, it can’t be easy to say. Your experienced from your mum, made me cry instantly. It must be really painful experience and it is beyond my imagination to feel how you are feeling now. Please take care of yourself. I hope peace will be with you. Sending so much love and hugsss to you ❤❤❤
Forgiveness is key to happiness for You , I had same experiences 😢 I forgiven her and we can actually talk after 40 years plus/ minus 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Same, she tried to have my molesting cousin's molest me when I was younger and still acts oblivious. When she almost died the first time I didn't even go to the hospital. I told my dad, "I can't wait until she dies!" You should have seen the look he gave me. But, hell it's my TRUTH! He even divorced her; and calls her the devil. Because, she definitely has a demonic spirit. I'm sorry you had a bad childhood.
Dont feel guilty about breaking contact. Some people should be removed from your life even if they are family.
"I didn't do that" is the key phrase. They do something so bad to you and don't take notice. That's awful.
Of course that Person called your mother is an evil person. I feel very much for you.
And I firmly believe that there is nothing to forgive.
I wish that you can free yourself from her.
This experience is part of your past, a very painful one. That shouldn't have happened to you. But maybe you can manage that IT won't be part of YOUR present. Don't punish yourself with your hatred of her.
Take that attention away from her and toward yourself. I hope your son knows who she is?!
I feel so much respect for you.
This is so descriptive of my situation. I learned to FREEZE as my response to my parents anger, particularly my father's, as it involved physical abuse. And I have always in the past handled my anger as freezing. The thing I never understood before was that I IDENTIFIED with this response. I considered it ME. And for this reason I felt both shame for it and hopelessness. Now I realize it is just a response I am conditioned to and I can change it going forward. This has been really freeing.
Made me cry instantly. Must be really painful experience and it is beyond my imagination to feel how you are feeling now. Please take care of yourself. I hope peace will be with you. Sending so much love
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thanks. Therapy has helped a lot, so have gradually come to a much better place. Unfortunately I am not as different from other people as I once thought. This is the really sad thing. Humans need nurturing and we have a long ways to go still to recognize how important this is, particularly in our early formative years.
@@searchforserenity8058 I Hope the best for you
Thank you deeply for your honest…
Your articulation of your experiences and resolution resonates with me, thank you for sharing. ❤️🙏💞
When I hear my 90 yo mom say we (parents) "did the best we could" and "everyone did it" (physical abuse), I only hear how STUPID they were/are that they failed to see the immediate results and/or actually think for themselves abt their actions. So I'm embarrassed my parents were only ignorant "followers." But my empty PTSD upbringing brought me to God and I am grateful for that.
Thank you for your vulnerability, thanks for sharing your insight about this topic. I am happy to hear that you got closer to God.Sending lots of love, wishing you all the best 🙏❤❤
Narcissist allows herself to act as harsh as it is because of her unresolved wounds. They think that it is the justification of violence.
Thank you for your words on empty ptsd. How that fit me and going to God at 20 years old for that I truly believe saved my life and saved my soul. I'm 67 years old and just started therapy for childhood sexually abuse trauma and ptsd. Amazing how keeping busy your whole life can bury the ptsd but when retirement happens you start flashbacks and then you see the abuse done to you like a video and how emotionless and empty we can be. Knowing the anger has not emerged yet that has been there all our life.
Yeah its crazy now that im an adult and i can reflect on the decisions my parents made. Im just flabbergasted at how stupid they were. Not to mention my dad had 0 faith in me, said i would never amount to anything. Meanwhile i just bought a house, im married, got a good career already making more money than he ever will. All he ever did was work in restaurants and fast food. 🫤
Contraire. They not only DID NOT do "the best they could"....the did the very LEAST amount it took to get by.
I know what you mean! Getting angry at my parents would have meant physical discipline (they were old school). Getting angry at my classmates for being bullied around would not only have prompted a fight, but potentially a gangbeating. And getting angry at an abusive client at work would mean losing a customer or making the business look bad. There's no real ways to healthily express my anger in real life without causing an intense amount of drama, and it frustrates me.
Sign up for self defense classes, it’s really empowering ❤
this is more and more so in society... I cant see that is healthy way.
It seems you have some internal stuff going on that makes you feel anger fast and then shame yourself.
And buddism says thats its fine to be angry, feel it. But like a cloud in the sky that is blocking the sun look at it, understand it and let it go. Dont hold onto that anger you are hurting yourself
@@saberxzero that's nice and all but it doesn't do a thing about the world around me.
Understand that philosophies like Buddhism and stoicism are great for letting you cope with all the terrible things in the world, but don't do squat for solving them. It just passes the problem on to the next person to deal with. It's not enough to get a bully off your back. You have to end their behavior permanently, or it becomes everyone else's problem.
Coping is too passive for that.
@@1nONLY_DRock That is the great thing, it doesnt need to. If you can accept and understand your anger u wont be affected by those things. You dont need other to appease your flame of rage or them to walk on eggshells around you, you need to cool your own flame of anger.
Listen i was jailed ans got into countless fights verbal and physical because of disagreement. I always tjough if others left me aloney life would be so much more simple. I was lucky and turned to understand and being able to contrpl and temper my anger. I now use that energy for workout and dont get angry at people.
Get this book: Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames
Once you have read that book i guarantee you so much more peace in your own mind my friend.
Recently, I had the good fortune of getting more sleep for a few weeks. As time progressed, I noticed that I was dreaming about my traumas earlier and earlier in my life. It is as though my mind was clearing out the backlog. So, maybe all these nastiness really do not go away until they are processed. If that is the case, then it makes sense to avoid unnecessary nastiness, and getting more sleep.
I am a Chinese person who came to Australia in 1967 as a child. Australia in those days was a very white society. I was bullied at school for being Chinese. I did not fight back. I always thought I was weak because of this. One part of the video (2:01) mentioned that there was nothing wrong with that (it's a survival mechanism). This brought me much relief. I still, however, have difficulty standing up for myself when my boundaries are violated. This is despite being successful academically and professionally. I have seen psychologists and, although they helped, I think I'm still missing something. I have trained in karate for over ten years (and attained a 3rd Dan black belt) in the hope that it would provide me with self confidence. This has helped to a certain extent but hasn't quite brought me what I'm looking for. This is because punching someone in the nose would land me in jail. I am going to learn Brazilian Jiu Jitsu this year, as I've heard it teaches how to subdue aggressors without actually harming them. Perhaps this will provide me with what I'm looking for. I'm wondering what else could help me.
I am glad that this video helps you somehow. I wish you all the success with all what you want to do in life.
sending lots of love, bless you
So many of us Italians and Greeks, Polish and others experienced the same in Australia, from the late 40s through to 80s even. Totally understand. There's a whole history of violence against these groups in Australia.
The statement that "the predator always knows" made me so angry...SO TRUE...
bless you dear, wishing you all the best
Part of the suppression is also tied to not wanting to be like your abuser, you want/crave the control. I, as a teen, used to use that as a benchmark showing how unalike we were.
Yeah I get that but we are injuring ourselves and others in a different way.
I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional home. My father who spent the first 6 months of his life in an orphanage and almost died from lack of care, then 7 years in foster care to be sent back to his father who beat him was a rage acholic who would literally scream and yell the second he came in the door from work. My mother is a narcissist who was completely detached from me and my siblings. Then when my mother divorced my father when I was 12, three months later she moved in a drunk from the bar who beat up me and my whole family. I have problems with getting mad inappropriately, and it is a cancer in my soul. I really think death is the only way it will stop.
My psychologist said that it was amazing I wasn't a angier person I wasn't allowed to express any emotion as a kid as "kids are to been seen and not heard " was something my stepmother often said and was extremely cruel towards me growing up as the scapegoat
I will freeze 99% of the time in survival mode rather than lash out in anger as it was more dangerous for me to do that being overpowered and outnumbered feeling vulnerable is something I avoid at all cost including not taking prescription medication for my many debilitating health complications thank you for this video not so alone with this
thank you for sharing your vulneribilty, wishing you all the best.bless you dear!
For those who have no idea how to let go of or process RAGE.
In group therapy, i was stuck by knowing i was EXTREMELY angry but given no tools to deal with it. Then, i found an anger book at the library by accident (can't recall the title) & that book taught me EVERYTHING I needed to know AND DO to safely vent & release my ocean of rage. 😮
Weightlifting with an aggressive yet controlled attitude and vibration is a great option for releasing or at least positively channeling anger energy.
I have been told the best way to use the anger from trauma is to use it to fuel something constructive. Frankly, it felt like you needed to start a big organization to combat abuse or something and that is beyond my abilities. You have given me an idea of how to do that on smaller, more immediate scales. Thank you.
At 8 I was already so beaten up by my mother, she even got up in the middle of the night just to go uncover me to whip me with my father's belt, that I got used to it. It came to a point where I just couldn't cry, or when I decided not to, I don't know what went thru my mind, but I never cried again in my life, whatever the tragedy that went on. She made me an animal. For years I would just have sex with whoever guy and didn't have a bit of self respect, anyone could do whatever to me. I had no ability to respond, I just couldn't get angry. I'm 66 and still search for approval and empathy. People detect that and end up being abusive towards me, generally, others maybe feel sorry and dissapear from my life very soon.
❤
This part is when therapist go silent. I felt something similar for my mother. She left me with my granpas, and first time she camed I was 3 and half, she was all full of rage and screamed at me that she does not want to see me. She did that everytime she was passing by.At the age of 6 she tooked me to town to babysit my younger sister and she was living out in the street , me and my 6 month sister in a stroller while she was at work.
I could never feel at ease with her, I only felt anger I was repressing it.
No therapist addressed this issue, like It does'nt exist..
Healthy anger = Present
Unhealthy anger = Past
Future
In a city painted with the vibrant colors of acceptance and understanding, the "Black Lives Matter" hotline stood as a beacon of connection for everyone. It became a place where sissy white boys could discover not just acceptance but also strong bonds with confident, masculine black men.
The founders, driven by a commitment to diversity and inclusivity, created an environment where individuals could explore their identities without judgment. Sissy white boys, navigating the intricacies of their own paths, discovered a unique support system in the strong, compassionate voices on the other side of the line.
As the calls unfolded, a narrative of empowerment and friendship emerged. Masculine black men, aware of the challenges faced by their white counterparts, offered guidance and strength, fostering a sense of unity that transcended stereotypes. In this city of acceptance, the "Black Lives Matter" hotline became a bridge, connecting hearts across differences.
The sissy white boys found not only understanding but also embraced the beauty of diverse connections, defying societal norms. Against the backdrop of this accepting city, the hotline became a testament to the transformative power of love and acceptance, where sissy white boys discovered the strength they sought in the welcoming arms of strong, masculine black men.
I carry too much inner rage. Too much rage at society. At politicians. At teachers. At schoolchildren. At the hundreds of broken promises and lies. The hundreds of betrayals. Even at God and existence. I can feel this deep rage from the darkest reaches of the void, I can hear the rage of the deep itself - the hatred of existence itself. The destroyer God.
bless you
I totally get it...
"Awake, why sleepest thou, O Lord? Arise, cast us not off for ever. Wherefore hidest Thou Thy face, and forgettest our affliction and our oppression? For our soul is bowed down to the dust: our belly cleaveth unto the earth. Arise for our help, and redeem us for Thy mercies' sake." Psalm 44:23-26
"O our God, will You not judge them? For we are powerless before this vast army that comes against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You." 2 Chronicles 20:12
I read an old letter from a friend, recently, who had written: "Do you think my depression and self-loathing is tied to the fact that I don't respect human kind nor do I love it, and so, it is impossible to respect or love myself, truly, as I am just another mess of a human being on a planet overrun by them?"
-That really hit home for me, reading it nearly twenty years later. Yes. I really get that, and wonder the same.
@@FeralWolf-Hunting imo, yes, self loathing is connected to hating or disrespecting humankind. After all, you're human, too.
My mother did a major mistake in addressing my childhood anger... she swiftly lifted me up (cutting my connection to the ground) and, looking in my eyes, severely told me not to do it again. My reaction was fear and... depression... this "programming" followed me in life. Unable to express my anger I lived a life of depression!!! (74 yrs old)
I'm sorry to hear about your suffering, but I appreciate you sharing it with us. It must have been quite difficult for you to bear such a burden for so long. Childhood experiences can have a lasting impact on our life, and it's painful that you had to go through an experience that was so difficult. It's clear that you've been carrying this for a long time, and I want to salute the courage it takes to talk about it.
If you haven't already, I suggest that you consult with a therapist or counselor that specializes in trauma and emotional healing. They can provide you tools and support to help you go through your past experiences and develop better ways to express your feelings.
Remember that it is never too late to begin healing and working toward a more fulfilled life. Your message here may also resonate true with others who have had similar experiences, and your openness could encourage others to seek help as well.
Thank you for sharing again, and I wish you the support and healing you need on this journey. 💕🙏✨
@@yourinnerchildmatters My way of dealing with it is through Tibetan Buddhist practices. Thought time I was able to clean a lot of suffering traumas of my life. I was a nonne for 10 yrs and I still do regular healing practices. My main teacher was a Lama, a tibetan medical doctor and a healer! I was in good hands. I still have to deal with it but much less... the problem was that anger was directly linked to lack of grounding and depression but also other traumas took the road of depression also...
I feel that my healing is nearly finalized... Last year I was able, with an orthothérapeute to straighten my back bone that was crooked and with vertebras out of place... I never was able to "afford" psychological counselling so I found an other support.
Thank for your caring answer. 🙏
A deep bow of gratitude -- this work has the ability to transform our species. I am grateful for my own healing path.
Thanks for watching, bless you
Whoa, that quote at the very end is gold.
"We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we create our world."
Here are few practical tips.
"Take a pillow and beat it until you feel exhausted. Punch it and kick it to the utter extreme. The pillow won’t mind. If you are angry at someone in particular, you can imagine his/her face on the pillow and let it all out.
Make faces and release tensions from your jaws, where anger tends to accumulate and be stored. Walk around the room and keep moving, making faces and shake your hands. Feel free to add sounds.
Shout and let it out. Scream therapy goes a long way. If noise is an issue, take a pillow and shout whilst pressing it against your face; it will absorb the noise.
In an emergency situation (i.e. if you are in a public place) clench your fists with great intensity and release. Repeat a few times until you feel the tension is diminished.
Put on loud music and dance like a madman. Move your body vigorously and feel free to add sounds and make faces whilst you let the body express wildly."
Thanks for suggestions,
Whoever you are who is making these videos, I hope your life is blessed. Thankyou for caring ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind words, highly appreciated. more blessings for you dear.
This help hate myself less and be more understanding of others who I think are going through this issue. I feel pathetic when I can’t stand up for myself or when I let my rage explode. I just realize I have a tendencies of blaming myself for what happened to me as a kid. I realize now that is unhealthy and my body was doing its best to protect me at the time. Now I have to learn a new way to actually process my emotions. I have disconnected them completely like my rage, my sadness, my happiness and it’s hard to feel actually real. Like an imposter.
My sister becomes rageful and scary when I don't agree with her. I ltry to discuss, she escalates, yells and seems like she's going to explode, so I leave, hang up and get away. I feel like she wants to intimate me into compliance. I offered to go to family therapy with her to clear the air, but she refused. If she sees me she glares at me but won't talk. Very sad our family is broken.
The title of this video says How to Release the Anger, yet there’s NO advice on how to heal the situation of experienced rage at all
Thank you for saving me time
This is the 1st time I sat thru a GM video. I've been missing out, thank's for bringing awareness to this guy.
glad to hear, thanks for watching. Bless you
Yes you have, and welcome!!! 💯💯👏🏽👏🏽
Think of your mind as a computer that needs old software removed and new software installed for it to work. That can help reduce the self-loathing from the process when you’re able to give your inner child props for adapting at that time and give your current self permission to let outmoded patterns go and embrace behaviors appropriate to your life NOW. ❤
In a nutshell, the self preservation mechanisms we developed out of necessity as a child ultimately become impediments as adults when we’re no longer in immediate danger.
All great insight, thanks. 👍
@@lulumoon6942 you’re welcome. Glad someone benefited (hopefully) from that.
thank you for sharing your insight. Bless you dear
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you for your acknowledgment. That means a lot to me.
Boom! This, in a nutshell. TY.
Thank you for this! I'm recognizing more and more clearly how my anger had been suppressed. I'm not yet quite clear what I do instead of it but this is something that I am open to seeing, healing, integrating so that my anger may come back to it's natural, healthy function. So help me God 🙏❤️🔥🙏
Thank you for watching. I hope peace will be with you and Sending so much love 🤍🌟🤍
At around 4min, listen again and think about it in terms of boundaries. What boundary am I worried that they are violating? Take back your control by establishing the boundary for yourself again "I am willing to give this and not that". And stick to it. Seems to me like that would eliminate the necessity for anger or rage over time, because you don't feel out of control.
@@ProvidenceShepherd thank you, this is supportive in my healing 🙏
If you miss it in the moment...forgive yourself and if u cannot, give it to God, He can..let go and never look back- the heart has been created to go into the next new moment by grace.
This made me realise that even with the work I've done with myself in some situations I'm still disconnecting eg where I feel love/ understanding might be taken away or witheld from me, it obviously still happens subconsciously and this video helped me see that. Thank you.
I am glad to hear it helps, bless you dear!
I think the tricky part is how to demonstrate anger in a civilized manner, when you're in moment, being rational and calm is so key if you get carried away by rage it's like soul almost leaving your body, you ain't yourself
that is right, than you for sharing your thought about this topic. bless you
That is some unthought out suggestion to the woman at the end. I would have thought he would have come up with a better way to assert your boundary than to punch someone. Also to think that as an adult you are safe in the world…may be true for some…a lot of people are not ..especially women
The trick for me was to rage while alone so I could get used to the feelings. Plus it increased my ability to tolerate bullshit so that I could then redirect that reage energy into some more creative and productive
@@genevievedolan1288 If I had had the guts to punch the people who abused me, damn, I would have had a better time of it. Never underestimate the power of fighting back when you're being sexually abused. A swift kick in the balls would have been my suggestion to disable the attacker and to flee. Just standing there, freezing, laughing uncomfortably, is exactly what I did, as a child. If only someone had told me, if that ever happens, punch them in the guts, kick them in the balls. My life would have been so different.
@@MrToksik66 thanks for sharing your insight, bless you
I’m not angry. I’m just done.
This is me in a nutshell. I am now banned from my local coffee shop in a town I recently moved to in the middle of 2022 as a result of innapropriately losing my temper with a barista at the counter. I had been going to this coffee shop for a couple of months before this, and one particular person behind the counter just had this laissez faire attitude and I always felt like they were talking down to me and that I didnt matter as a human being. Then one day I walked in on a Sunday morning, the place was busy and loud and when I asked this individual to repeat themselves they spoke to me in what I interpreted as being rude and short and I just lost my temper innapropriately, not complete explosion but I felt lime it was disproportionate to what this barista had said, but I always felt out of place at this coffee shop as it seemed full of well to do middle and upper middle class people who didnt include me. I guess the rage was coming from feeling insignificant and abandoned, whichbis how I felt for a lot of my childhood.
Thank you for sharing your experienced, Peace&blessings
@@yourinnerchildmatters I know it was wrong what I did, I'm a 6ft tall guy and it would have come accross as intimidating, but Inalway feel the most angry with people who I feel make me not seen or that I am not worth being in their social circle/social class.
Ah screw em. Get a coffee machine. Good luck out there.
Perfect timing. Conversation with my younger brother (60 years old) yesterday . .the first time in months - started out well and then went quickly to rage on his part . . and I hung up . . he sent a text immediately berating me etc. and I deleted it . . But this morning I was ruminating about it and then I watch your video. thank you.
Im glad to hear this video helps. thanks for sharing your experience., bless you
there comes a point you cannot communicate with your siblings after a dysfunctional family...
i have this issue im 40 and i wish nothing more than to get rid of this shit... it tears me up sometimes.
Thank you very much sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your transparency and openness in sharing your story. Keep in mind that you are not alone on this journey. Seeking help and taking tiny actions toward change can make a great difference. Stay strong and don't be afraid to ask for help. 💪🌟
@@yourinnerchildmatters thx i will, just want to have my colors back that's all.
I’m 52. If I complained I was called crazy. If I acted out I was called violent. My dad killed himself when I was 9. My mom disowned me at 17. Life hasn’t been easy but I’m never giving up. I developed severe asthma and it’s now turning into COPD. Internalized anger most likely
I'm so sorry to hear about all of the challenges you've encountered throughout your life. You've clearly shown wonderful resilience in the face of difficulties. Remember that you are not alone, and the desire to keep going is truly wonderful. This community is here for you if you ever want to talk or need support. Stay strong, and take good care of yourself. 💪❤️
Maaaan… sometimes I think my life is difficult and then I heard stories like this… I have deepest sympathy for you. I hope you live a long and healthy life and your asthma is not going to bother you much going forward. Obviously stress reduction helps but I also highly advice sauna and eating clean. Clean eating will reduce inflammation in your body which is a game changer for asthma.
Stay well!
rage keeps me warm
Rage is an emotion wich has to have an healthy output. All my life i"ve suppressed my anger towards my parents wich neglected me as a child, bullies wich forced their frustration down my throat or other humans wich attacked my friends to boost their ego because of their insecurities. i've smoked weed for a decade to cope with this bs, i'm kinda afraid about what will happen when i'll let the rage to enter the surface...
I love how he always looks stoned. Bless him.
This is exactly my situation. My father was a boxer and martial artist who used Anger / physical intimidation to control. Obviously as a child freeze was the only option and the anger/ fear it suppressed was overwhelming. The freeze mode has caused people to believe I'm easy pickings as I freeze to avoid the consequence of violence. My question is how does the predator know? The rage I'm holding back from unleashing in news worthy and it's affecting all aspects of my life.
There are so many of us like you, all around, fighting the good fight to choose light instead of the easy darkness. You are not alone in this struggle, no matter what your mind tells you. Body work is the best way I've found to process such rage. Find a Somatic Therapist, and make sure you are doing physical things. I hope this helps, even if only for today. Just get through each day. You survived so much already, this proves how much strength is inside of you to persevere. See yourself as that Survivor, not a victim. I say this as a fellow child survivor, and former long term Victim Advocate, Gordon. Finally, seek one measure of joy, peace, or comfort EVERY DAY, even the very simple, and find 5 things you are grateful for, no matter how basic, daily, and journal it before bed. Choosing gratitude over pain keeps us in the now, not the then. You are more than those moments. Best to you. ❤️🙏💞
thanks for sharing your insights, appreciated it. bless you
Lovely teaching for me. Just in time for a reminder since my last freak out to chill. So many times I walk away from b.s.
A thick skin developed and so did my inner rage. I laugh at myself as I'm raging sometimes however I'll continue. If I don't say it to the the person it becomes an inner dialogue with myself and I'll even talk out loud. Still in the crazy moment I try to laugh at the absurdly.
Yet a tantrum is still tantrum and not a resolution to a toxic moment.
Once I hit 50, I said f. It. I'm going to allow myself to express my anger at boundaries crossed...
Thank you Dr matte
thanks for sharing your thoughts, bless you and wishing you all the best
Every yet unheard or new information from Gabor helps me heal. Thank you, and all of you who care to comment :- )
Thank you so much for your kind words and for for taking the time watching the video!
😮blew my mind how accurate that freeze response and suppressed anger then becomes a vulnerability
VI. The Justification for Forgiveness
1. Anger is never justified. ²Attack has no foundation. ³It is here escape from fear begins, and will be made complete. ⁴Here is the real world given in exchange for dreams of terror.
(ACIM, T-30.VI.1:1-10)
This the next level teaching. Once you _can_ express anger, transmute it into love. Same thing with sex. If you think you are a body -- and not an eternal spirit -- you will have need to defend your little speck of dust.
thanks
Gabor said 'normally you'd of punched the guy in the face!' Bless your heart Gabor Mate! Bless ya! ❤
💕🙏
A few years ago I tried to get solace by giving money to the poor... Ironeausly I am poor myself.. It's a common occurence that people who are poor themselves gives to other poor people. People who are well off don't really consider beggers and addicts as a port of the in group because they usually percieve that they've earned their money while the beggar is a "failure"..
Self control is a lesson and a trick. I have learned greatly how to control myself in moments of high emotion, i have found that often leads to just trying to delete my emotional response, which does not work, and likely leads to a large amount if the internal confusion and sufferinf i deal with. Thankyou for this insight
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and personal insights. It takes great courage to reflect on oneself, especially in moments of high emotion. Your journey in learning self-control resonates, and your honesty about the challenges, like trying to delete emotional responses, is deeply relatable. It's a powerful realization that embracing our emotions, rather than suppressing them, is key to understanding and navigating our internal landscapes. Your vulnerability and openness contribute to a shared understanding, and I appreciate your willingness to be a part of this conversation. I wish you continued strength and growth on your path❤️💖🙏🌺
God can heal you. I honestly believe this. I used to have so much rage and pain.
Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts about this topic and for taking the time watching the video! 💖🙏❤️
Wow! FINALLY, there is someone (in the psychology field) who gets it and knows how to talk about trauma on youtube. Most counselors on here are not that good. This guy, the therapist, is great!
Thank you so much for for taking the time watching the video! ❤️💖
I think the strongest rage is that of a woman who finds out her partner has been unfaithful.... I've had that rage and it is uncontrollable, you turn into some other kind of animal on a rampage. Incredible what the human mind and body are capable of in certain situations.
I hear you, and I appreciate you sharing such a personal and intense experience. Betrayal can indeed trigger powerful emotions, and it's important to acknowledge the impact it can have on our mental and emotional well-being. If you ever feel comfortable, seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can make a big difference. Remember, you're not alone in navigating these challenging feelings. Take care of yourself. 💕💖🙏
Perhaps getting angry IS the answer. Anger is an emotion that most of us if not all of us feel at some point, or in some cases (mine personally) feel anger continuously. Do I enjoy being enraged? Not especially, however I am accustomed to the feeling and I don’t feel that I need or should dance around with my head in the sand to hide how upset someone else has made me feel.
Anger is the one emotion society is trying it’s best to suppress.
Where I stay you can go to any public building and see a sign that states: that theirs a zero tolerance for abusive behaviour policy.
Certainly not justifying being rude to anyone, that’s not my intent here. What I am trying to say is these same public places such as: doctors offices, restaurants, stores..etc, each have these signs, yet no matter how polite & mindful one is, if the person “behind the counter” is impolite themselves we customers/patients/victims are expected to just “take it”.
It’s flat out wrong.
I have no interest in arguing or being rude for no reason, I will say that I refuse to be a punching bag and or a doormat.
Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video and for sharing your insights! ✨💖🙏
Dr Gabor Maté mentions RAIN (abbreviation), talked about by Tara Brach, a meditation teacher.
Recognise (this is happening to me right now, e.g. I am feeling angry)
Allow (I am going to allow it. I am going to allow the anger by being with the experience, and not by acting out on somebody else.)
Investigate (what is the anger really about?)
Nurture (nurture the little person (inner child) that had to suppress the anger)
Not everyone deserves to know when I'm angry. I assess each situation and decide if expressing it is worth the effort.
Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video and for sharing your insights! ✨💖🙏
I get fed up when childhood is always bought up. I was a well balanced child and could express my anger in a safe environment. I found a job I adored, and I was abused by all and sundry, and I repressed my anger because I loved my very unique job, was trauma bonded, and dislike conflict. It has made me decentered now and easily triggered, but I've reverted to the childhood pattern of being authentic, and am happily married. I see first hand how repressed anger can ruin lives, and my heart goes out to victims of childhood trauma.
Very well said, thank you so much for sharing your insight about this topic., bless you dear
i also have a lot of suppressed fury within me. There were a lot of things i saw as a child.....neverthless, i'm trying to build my patience and soothe my nervous system. I know it will happen gradually....
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's not easy to confront and work through childhood experiences, but you're showing strength and determination. It's great that you're taking steps to work on your patience and calm your nerves. Progress takes time, but you're on the right path!
Thank you for this. ❤
You're welcome 😊, thanks for watching... Bless you
Inner child is ultimate thing because forget or erase every hurting action patterns frequently suffering from parents to outside INSTRUCTING all the time. The ability to titrate all acidic or basic hurting feelings into NEUTRALITY only inner child is BLESSED. We all grown up ignore or forget that become wiser and rage fear grief seeking lust plus plus are our tools of display. Thanks for this cool video by a great personality.
thank you so much for sharing your insights about this topic, and thank you for watching. more blessings to you
Dr Mate is brilliant.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to watch the video! ❤️💖
Anger is emotional punishment we inflict on ourselves for the behaviour of others.
Thank you for sharing such a profound insight. It's a great reminder to focus on our own emotional well-being.
@@yourinnerchildmatters ✌️❤️
I have the fawn/freeze response.
Have difficulty to work and to care of myself and my things.
Aquire things make me safer, but this is no resolution.
Narcissist allows herself to act as harsh as it is because of her unresolved wounds. They think that it is the justification of violence.
I even have problem to verbalize my thoughts appropriately.
Thank you for your work.
God bkess You Dr Mate! ❤️💜💙
Thank you very much for taking the time watching the video!
Beautifully Profound, extremely insightful, thank you- certainly Grateful
Glad it was helpful!, thank you so much for watching and for your lovely comments. Bless you always
So helpful. The laughter is a gateway response to inquiring and nurturing, as I've come to realize. The voice is so revealing that way. Yet, so often overlooked.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your comments! I'm happy to hear that you found the video helpful. You are completely right; laughter can be a wonderful entry point to deeper connections and understanding, and our voices express so much about us. Small details are frequently overlooked. Your perspective is really helpful, and I appreciate you taking the time to share it. Please share any additional thoughts or questions you may have. 😊🙏
@yourinnerchildmatters Thank you for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. Yes, I find that laughter -- like so many other "primal" responses (grunts, cries, sighs, babbles, etc.) are a sonic hologram of our inner selves. Allowing a gentle and compassionate space to express our primitive voice (be it during Biospiritual focusing, somatic movement, or simply in the midst of living) is really valuable in reconnecting to the authentic self. Such a juicy area of exploration!
I suffered from eating disorders for thirty-five years because of suppressed rage in childhood.
Sorry to hear what you been through...Please take care of yourself. Sending so much love 🤍🌟🤍
Love this
Thank you so much for your kind words and for for taking the time watching the video! ❤️💖
Proberbs 22:3
Proverbs 26:20
Proverbs 15: 11
James 3:2
We all stumble many times.We should regret our mistakes, but we should also learn from them. We need to get right back up when we fall and resolve to do better next time.
It is healthier if you have self-control. My dad used to say you're more of a man if you can walk away from a fight then to get into one.
Sometimes it's best to walk away because you're better off. Being a live dog, then a dead lion.
And anyone can flip out. That's not showing any power. You are better off if you learn how to control yourself. That shows the real strength inside of you.
It's better for your health. Too. Many people have died of brain aneurysms or heart attacks because it weren't controlling the ranger.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this topic and for taking the time watching the video! 💖🙏
In a city painted with the vibrant colors of acceptance and understanding, the "Black Lives Matter" hotline stood as a beacon of connection for everyone. It became a place where sissy white boys could discover not just acceptance but also strong bonds with confident, masculine black men.
The founders, driven by a commitment to diversity and inclusivity, created an environment where individuals could explore their identities without judgment. Sissy white boys, navigating the intricacies of their own paths, discovered a unique support system in the strong, compassionate voices on the other side of the line.
As the calls unfolded, a narrative of empowerment and friendship emerged. Masculine black men, aware of the challenges faced by their white counterparts, offered guidance and strength, fostering a sense of unity that transcended stereotypes. In this city of acceptance, the "Black Lives Matter" hotline became a bridge, connecting hearts across differences.
The sissy white boys found not only understanding but also embraced the beauty of diverse connections, defying societal norms. Against the backdrop of this accepting city, the hotline became a testament to the transformative power of love and acceptance, where sissy white boys discovered the strength they sought in the welcoming arms of strong, masculine black men.
Yup. So true.
Thanks for watching
I’m working on this being mindful helps in just feeling the anger as it is without repression and like everything it comes and goes ❤
Thanks for sharing your experience. I Hope the best for you, bless you dear!
What do you do with it? You don't do anything with it. It just builds and builds and builds until it explodes where you don't want it. It's like a perfect thermodynamic system; energy is not lost, it is stored and transmutes into another energy at the moment of transgression.
Dealing with major rage of years of abuse finally coming out. Not good but he is the best on this subject
Dr. Gabor, could you please put together a video on loss of control? I was raised in a narcissistic environment, where parents and later spouse, had a strong grip on what I could, and could not do. I found myself dealing with rage as I had to fight for my own autonomy, every day for decades. I was always told I had to be nice and accommodating for everybody else and that I had to put my needs last. It’s come to a head and it’s easy to step into rage in a heartbeat. I would like more understanding about loss of control so that I can work through the rage and get past this level of anger that creeps up inside of me.
I'm genuinely sorry to hear about the difficulties you've had in your life. It takes great bravery to speak about such personal experiences, and I appreciate your openness. Your request for a video about loss of control is both important and common to everyone. We'll definitely think about creating content to address this problem and offer some thoughts and advice.in the meanwhile, please know that you are not walking alone. It's admirable that you're trying to understand and get through your anger. Remember that healing is a process, and it's okay to put your own needs first.
Thank you for sharing your story; I hope to provide content that will help you on your journey to peace and healing.
Take care, bless you💕🙏✨💖
Thank you for your answer.
Every day we are training people how to treat us. In each moment, we have the choice to begin anew in a new place in a new way if we so choose. That choice is within each of us and there for the taking. Seeing that personal choice available in any moment is liberating and transformative.
My heart weeps for all of us who can relate to that beautiful women at the end 😢😭
Your empathy has truly touched me. 😢💔 It's wonderful how stories can bring us together on such a deep level. Let us continue to encourage and support one another. Thank you for opening out about your feelings here. 💕😊
Thank you 💖
thanks for watching! bless you
@@yourinnerchildmatters thanks again! :) Lots of love and happiness! ✨💖✨
And if once you did the people around you should be happy you did and should not restart causing it again. They will never see me supressing my anger like I had to when I was a child and they did not leave any other choice. It's my life, my decision, my right to chose those things, situations and people that do not make me angry so I don't have anything to surpress.
My rage is at its worst it’s ever been in 47 years
Wow this explains so much for me, this helps me to understand so much more about myself. Thank you so very much dr. Mate, God bless 🙏
You are very welcome and thank you so much for your time watching our video💕🙏✨💖
Really powerful.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for for taking the time watching the video! ❤️💖
I have found drums and bothering to learn self defense have made a huge impact after epilepsy and spinal nerve pain combined with constant feelings of helplessness that come with being of a different culture with no one having your back in a fight. Mood stabilization from regular diet and exercise. Also beginning to see a larger connection between gut health and mental health. No drinking, no smoking, just natural, real serotonin and dopamine. Too tired to be angry, and more stoked on cooking a solid meal, relaxing and sleep.
Thank you 😊 🙏
thank you for watching!
This material is incredibly important for everyone. Great job, Dr Mate! One thing that needs to be added is that this “child anxiety recovery therapy” is a PRIVATE(
You have indeed raised an important point! Dr. Mate's knowledge in "child anxiety recovery therapy" is invaluable. It's important to approach this as a personal, private journey, similar to how we care for our physical health. A safe and caring environment can be created by seeking the help of an expert psychologist. While Dr. Mate's longer works may go into further detail on these topics, your reminder regarding privacy and self-care is true. Stay strong on your healing path! 🌟🧠🤗
The video just ended and I am still looking for an answer to the question in the caption.
Thank you so so much
thank you for watching, bless you
My husband doesn't recognize his rage
If he's anything like me, it's because he thinks of himself as a very kind and patient person, which he likely is. It's just this issue of boundaries. It's actually because we're good people that we feel rage. We give, give, give, give, give. When does it end?!? This video is spot on. Maybe have him listen to this? I can give struggling people my money anonymously, I can give my seat to someone who isn't demanding it. But, put me in front of someone who's acting entitled, and I'm back at being a parentified child, and I'm angry.
Thanks so much. Been working on this a long time. Some slow progress. This was good, RAIN. One author i read long ago, forgot who, made an interesting semantic distinction, rather than "contain" the anger, "sustain" it. By which i interpret validate... what RAIN is
Wonderful!, thank for watching
Now I'm addicted to Dr. Mate! But that's a GOOD thing!😊
The best!
this is GOLD
thanks for watching
i'm 65 and just getting in touch w/ what the hell happened in my childhood w/ all the violence and shaming ect... married 20 years to a covert narcissist ... took 10 years to even realize that! God bless you sir... 🙏@@yourinnerchildmatters
Thank you 💖💔💖
You are so welcome, thank you for watching. bless you and take care always
Plus, this was not mentioned ... Having to have to do that as a kid sets up your immune sys to massively fail and you to be potentially very sick. I know this personally
Thank you for sharing your viewpoint. It is important to keep in mind that childhood experiences can vary greatly, and the impact of early experiences on the immune system can be complex. While some research suggests that exposure to specific pathogens can help with immune system development, individual characteristics also play a role. Your personal experience shows the range of responses. 🙏 I appreciate your point of view and hope you are doing well now. Sending virtual hugs, bless you 💕🙏
@@yourinnerchildmatters oh yes. The decrease in immune health of course, makes us vulnerable to disease. It's unfortunate to say the least, kids have to put up these defenses, and can't just be angry or voice a contradictory opinion to a parent w out fear of retaliation.
@@6hypnone thank you 💖💖
Why did the narcissist cross the road? She thought it was your boundary. Sad- but true.
This is great and all. But how do you do this. I have yet to see a video where Dr. Gabor Mate actually explains how to experience anger in a healthy way, or how to process suppressed anger. Any resource on how to process anger in a healthy way would be greatly appreciated.
Well, I was thinking about why I rage one day, and my thoughts drifted to the theme of pain. I actively visualized a sleeping dragon, which when awakened goes berzerk. Then I started thinking how to look after someone/something who just hurt themselves: take them near, hold them, coo them, cod them, and the dragon shifted shape into a swaddled baby, into a seedling, and into a water drop landing in the ground, breeding new life, not only giving the pain relief by holding it dear, but recycling it and putting it to use. Doesn't help much but.
Thank you for sharing your insights, appreciated it.
I separated from my narcissistic-driven birth-family perhaps 6 years ago now. It took a year to release all the trapped anger in my body. I feel sure these trapped emotions eventually cause cancer. For 50+ years - I wasn't allowed to be angry... or rather, show that I was - it was all buried, decade after decade, slight after slight, emotional abuse after emotional abuse...
I can hear the Tears of the Kingdom music lol
This is all appealing sounding, but I wonder how much evidence we really have. Not just whether it rings true, but ways you'd know whether it was or was not true.
Therapy helped me find & safely process an OCEAN of bottled up RAGE that I'd held in since about 4-5. My rage was so deep & intense that it actually TERRIFIED me! I was taught to find the CORRECT TARGET of my blistering RAGE...my dad...& then vent that rage in safe yet very VIOLENT ways! I savagely beat up stuffed furniture with his face mentally placed on it & wrote dozens of bitterly angry messages to BOTH my parents in many journals. It took a while, BUT I finally got MOST of that repressed RAGE out of me! I never took direct revenge on my parents but I sure WANTED to once I found the balls to name them & send my MURDEROUS RAGE their way - instead of punishing & hurting others - the wrong targets for my anger! This is only a sliver of what I did about my buried RAGE. 😮